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the Canceled Podcast. Add

2:37

a little bass to the end. I'm like,

2:39

uh-oh, back again. Super strong.

2:42

I'm so excited for today's episode. We're gonna have the

2:45

giggles, I have the hoots, I'm ready to go. Me

2:47

too, and I haven't seen you in a second, so

2:49

I'm gonna get excited. It's like, it is euphoric when

2:51

I don't see you for a minute and I see

2:53

you. It's like better than any drug. I swear to

2:55

God, it feels like a bump. Like I haven't seen

2:58

you in five days and I swear to God. I

3:01

imagine. I haven't seen you

3:03

in five days and I'm not kidding last night.

3:05

I was in bed, like it felt like Christmas.

3:07

I felt like a kid, I was excited. Paige,

3:09

in Hawaii, you and I were texting and I'm

3:11

like in the bathroom, so like texting you and I'm

3:13

like getting so excited for your next text, like giggling. And

3:15

I was like, this is embarrassing. I left my body, I

3:18

was like, I'm literally obsessed with you.

3:20

I was kicking my feet, smiling at my

3:22

phone. It's creepy. I'm keeping up with all

3:24

your TikToks. I'm loving your TikToker era. I've

3:26

always thought you should talk on TikTok. Thank

3:28

you. Well, I've been doing funny captions, but

3:30

I was nervous to do it for the

3:32

longest time. And we were in like Wisconsin

3:34

or something and Tana and I had like

3:36

a whole conversation. She sat me down and

3:39

she was like, dude, you really have to start

3:41

posting. You do. You're a waste of being fun.

3:43

Hilarious. Thank you. Well, not a waste, but like

3:46

complete waste of space. No, that was funny.

3:48

We were just highest. I was like, you,

3:50

this is your journey. I was scared. Yeah,

3:53

but it's true. It really is. You're

3:55

so funny. My kidneys are failing. I'm

3:59

serious. I do. I have to

4:01

like get you up about this because it's

4:04

like give it a rest dude.

4:06

Like I just it's always something new

4:08

but I'm convinced this time. What are

4:10

your symptoms? So as you know I

4:13

had a serious outbreak of GERD right?

4:15

GERD GERD GERD GERD is the word.

4:17

You know what I mean? I don't

4:19

think there are outbreaks. Like she got

4:21

a rash. Do you have GERD Steven?

4:24

I literally just got up with an op-ed

4:26

today. I see maybe we're in a GERD

4:28

epidemic dude. GERD is not contagious. I'm

4:30

GERD-ing it up dude. Pry Losec OTC

4:33

that's my sh**. But I'm talking

4:35

about sh**. Unless they sponsor me. Pry

4:37

Losec OTC. Pay up motherf- What

4:39

does GERD entail? Like what

4:41

are your symptoms? What are your signs?

4:43

It's essentially like really bad heartburn. I

4:46

had that in Hawaii where it feels like you

4:49

have like a tennis ball. But I was having

4:51

really bad heart pains and the GERD can be

4:53

the same symptoms of like a heart attack literally.

4:55

I thought it was like acid reflux a little

4:57

bit. Nothing was like refluxing and acidy though. But

4:59

that's what GERD feels like I'm pretty sure. I'm

5:02

pretty sure that's the whole thing because it's gastroenteroreflux

5:04

disorder or disease. You ate with

5:06

that acronym right there. You really

5:08

did. The versus showing. If there was an

5:10

article on my stomach. It wasn't real. It

5:13

just whatever. You know what I mean? And

5:15

so I f**king take this Pry Losec OTC

5:17

and it starts to go away right? But

5:19

then lately I've been having some fluid in

5:22

my lungs and I know I'm popcorn lunging

5:24

it up and emphysema-ing it up always. But

5:26

this it's a different fluid. It's a different

5:28

texture. It feels like hair oil almost. Okay.

5:30

I'm sticking with

5:32

you. No. And then I had

5:34

a blood blister on my lip, right? And

5:37

I know I just got a call so

5:39

not kidney related. I

5:42

know I just got filler but it was a lip. They

5:44

went up here the blood blisters like in the middle of

5:46

my lip. And then

5:49

I've been having extra like fatigue and

5:51

kind of like weird depressive episodes that are unlike

5:53

me. Like I've been crying so much. I don't

5:55

know what's wrong with me. All these symptoms are

5:58

symptoms of acute kidney failure. We were on FaceTime

6:01

and she told me, she goes, I think my kidneys are

6:03

failing. And then she kind of stopped herself. She's like, wait,

6:05

wait, nevermind. I'm not gonna like put this on you right

6:07

now. And I go, no, no, no, you can't. I go,

6:09

is your pee foamy? She goes, wait, let me check. She's

6:11

pissing into the toilet. Sound like

6:13

she was frying pork

6:16

chops. I literally, I

6:18

don't know, maybe get that checked out, to

6:21

be honest. Have you had any like back

6:23

pain or anything of the sorts? I'll get like

6:25

the occasional little back pain, but obviously I'm scoliosis

6:27

up my back. So

6:30

you're not having any of the major symptoms of

6:32

kidney disease. Is the back

6:34

pain. Is yeah. But like a

6:36

kidney infection even. Bloodless are on your lip. I'm

6:38

just saying, Googled it. It was like husband. There

6:40

has to be so many things that could be

6:42

before. And listen,

6:44

I'm not trying to discredit your- No, I really hope

6:47

my kidneys aren't failing. I hope so too. Like imagine,

6:49

you know what I mean? Like we walk out on

6:51

stage in like Oakland, California and I'm like, what's up,

6:53

okay? I'm like, fall over.

6:56

Blood's coming out my urethra. Urethra

7:00

Franklin. I'm

7:02

just missing that. I'm so

7:04

mad that you just took that from me. Sorry.

7:08

Gotta be quicker than that. I know. I'm

7:10

already panicked, dude. All

7:13

right. Honestly, I should go. Give me

7:15

all. Please. Urethra

7:19

Franklin's great. Urethra

7:22

Franklin. It's

7:25

Urethra by the way. Urethra.

7:32

Wait, speaking of like dying at show,

7:34

hold on, hold on. Hold

7:37

on, I don't even know what you're gonna say

7:39

and I'm like- Speaking of bad

7:41

things at shows, you

7:43

have a pitch for me. Imagine

7:46

my pitch was just that you

7:48

were in the audience like Abraham

7:50

Lincoln and I came

7:52

and pretended to shoot you. Like

7:55

John Williams booth. I

7:58

don't know. I can't breathe. I'm

8:00

turning purple, I'm turning purple, I'm turning purple. Okay.

8:06

I have asthma. We do have a vision for you.

8:08

Oh God. I

8:11

know it's gonna be so fucking offensive. Wait, although

8:13

is this gonna come out before we do the

8:16

shows? No. Even if everyone

8:18

knew we were gonna do this, I don't think

8:20

anyone would give a fuck. I don't think so.

8:22

I know she's gonna have me learn how to ride

8:24

a unicycle in 24 hours. Okay,

8:27

for the viewer at home. Brooke

8:30

and I have been riding this leg of

8:32

California shows and each leg of the shows,

8:34

we try to kind of switch it up,

8:36

do something different. I'm not gonna like

8:38

say what we wanna do for the shows, but

8:41

we got into this conversation when

8:44

we were on tour last in somebody's

8:47

boiler room. Okay, we

8:49

were talking about, essentially it's

8:51

just touring and your show can kind of be

8:53

one of those things where it feels like you

8:55

can almost never fully win. Like no matter what

8:57

you fucking do on stage, there's gonna be someone

8:59

saying, they didn't spill enough tea. There's gonna be

9:02

someone saying something, you know what I

9:04

mean? And so then I was kind of dancing

9:07

around the idea of like over the top theatrics.

9:10

Yeah, like flipping that in their

9:12

face and you were like, you

9:14

should do random dancing like I

9:16

Carly, like what if we got

9:18

the real Gibby, the real Gibby

9:21

stand up. Why

9:23

this? Why this? Reeling

9:28

it back. Okay, yeah, yeah.

9:30

Reeling it back. You're

9:33

gonna love it. But just to kind of do

9:35

a bunch of over the top shit to be

9:37

like, oh, our show wasn't enough, check out this

9:39

mariachi band, right? And today we

9:42

had the bright idea to bring

9:44

out, hear me out, hear

9:46

me out, okay. I'm all ears. I'm

9:49

all ears. To bring out the dancing

9:51

lobsters. Absolutely.

9:53

Absolutely. Are you kidding me?

9:55

It could have gone one

9:57

way. You're willing to be a lobster? I'm telling

9:59

you. Are you kidding? You

10:02

can't even say no. I

10:04

have been pitching. I was really worried. For years

10:07

I have been pitching for every Halloween. I

10:09

say, Tana, I want our whole friend group

10:11

to go as the Amanda show. Imagine

10:14

she's like- I think I have heard you say that.

10:16

Every year, every Halloween. Were you a lobster when we

10:18

did the Powerpuff Girls?

10:21

You was already a lobster. Yeah, but that

10:23

was a slutty, hot lobster. Yeah, it was like

10:25

the villain lobster in the- I already ordered the

10:27

lobster costumes. Did you? That's why

10:29

I told you not to look at my Amazon. Actually,

10:32

now that I think about it, maybe this is so degrading

10:34

and I shouldn't. No, it's not. We're doing

10:36

it in like a shit way. Wait, I'm

10:39

not kidding. Imagine you and Amari were the

10:41

dancing lobsters and you had T-shirt guns. They'd

10:44

be so excited. What are the haters

10:46

gonna say now? Absolutely Amari's story. I

10:48

can't wait to be a lobster with

10:50

you. Wait, I thought you were gonna say

10:52

absolutely the fuck not. I have been wanting to be

10:54

a dancing lobster for the past five holidays. I'm

10:58

like, and a unicycle. And yeah.

11:00

On a unicycle. And a bear. And

11:04

John Williams booth. I

11:06

don't know how that one would go. It's not a funny joke. Like,

11:09

should we ask Trisha if she can give birth on stage?

11:13

I know, imagine you do the Lion King thing, but like with

11:15

Elvis. That's

11:19

the thing is, it's just like, we have

11:21

these like five to 10, no idea shows

11:23

left. And it's like,

11:25

I just want to do all the like, hootie funny

11:27

things that we haven't. Bookey with them. And that we

11:29

haven't. Did Gibby not call back? I

11:31

didn't call to be quite frank. We could give

11:34

him a call. I'm so happy. It's gonna be

11:36

so fun. I'm actually stoked. I'm so excited for

11:38

these shows. I think they're gonna be the most

11:40

fun, especially just California. Like, we're gonna slay special

11:43

guests all of it. It's

11:45

gonna be hilarious. I think you guys should just treat

11:47

it like, have fun. Go be

11:49

yourselves. Go be yourselves. Don't let anyone

11:51

dull your sparkle. Speaking

11:54

of not letting anyone dull your

11:56

sparkle. We

11:58

gotta talk about it. You could argue

12:00

both sides that it's not, but we, it's

12:03

just, we, yep, uh-huh, pee, bee, boo, boo.

12:05

Wait, what are we talking about?

12:07

I'm assuming it's JoJo Siwa. No,

12:09

no, but hilarious. I wanna talk

12:12

about- Can I just always JoJo? We'll

12:14

get to it, don't worry. We just started

12:16

having a weekly like what did JoJo do

12:19

segment? Aww, we could write that down.

12:21

I wanna talk about liability. All

12:25

right, should we? I didn't watch it.

12:27

You were saying like a little either. I wanted it.

12:29

Because it's like whenever something's been that long, I'm like,

12:31

I probably hate myself in that. I don't wanna see

12:34

that. So as you

12:36

guys know, we're in our distancing

12:38

era and

12:40

we, you know, we haven't been seeing as much

12:43

of Lila Gibney as maybe some other times in

12:45

life. And 10 months

12:47

ago, we were all bestie

12:50

boots mama. Lila was like,

12:52

I wanna start a podcast. I'm gonna call

12:55

it Lila-bility. Can you guys come on and

12:57

be my first guest? And here I am

12:59

thinking she's gonna have, you know, the BFF's

13:01

podcast turnaround time. It's gonna come out

13:03

next week, right? And then a

13:05

couple months go by and we

13:09

fizzle. We fade into you.

13:12

Essentially, she releases the episode

13:14

that we shot of Lila-bility yesterday.

13:19

And like we haven't spoken to her in months.

13:21

I've been living with this anxiety that she was

13:23

like still gonna release it and make everyone think

13:25

that like, we

13:27

were on this roller coaster. I'm not sure, maybe it's

13:29

been so long, but I was under the impression that

13:31

that was never coming out. I thought it was a

13:34

pitch for a network. I never

13:36

thought that the episode was gonna come out ever.

13:38

I thought it was coming out, but like I

13:40

thought it was coming out in November. Bold. You

13:43

know what I mean? It's like, honestly, like I would probably, I

13:46

mean, I probably wouldn't have released it, but I like kind of

13:48

respect that she did. Like I'm not- I'm not- Releasing

13:50

an episode, fuck you guys. Hilarious on her part. And

13:52

like she's smart. Like she knew that people would click

13:54

it and then it would- Yeah, that was so many

13:56

views so fast. I have nothing negative to say. Like

13:59

honestly- Well played. Yeah. Genius. Honestly, the top

14:01

comment was I know Tana's cackling in

14:04

Hawaii and it's funny because I like

14:06

literally was. And I just like

14:08

I just don't like anything coming out where I

14:10

haven't even seen it before. Like maybe I didn't

14:12

want all of that in it. Like, I mean,

14:14

I feel like it wasn't like anything bad. I

14:16

didn't watch it, but like I just I didn't

14:18

watch it either. And I'm scrolled past every clip

14:20

because I don't even like I'm it gives me

14:22

anxiety. I'm already cringing at myself. I already like,

14:24

you know, because I'm allergic. No, I always thought

14:26

she should have a podcast. She's funny and

14:29

crazy. And there's a market for it. One hundred

14:31

percent there is. And I just I think it's

14:33

like just so fucking funny that she released that

14:35

shit. Like we are all best friends. It is

14:37

like I can't imagine in like not that it's

14:39

like really equivalent to the Mindy era. But

14:41

if I were like to have just like

14:43

posted a pic of us or something like while that

14:45

was happening, like it would have just been like what

14:47

the fuck, let alone like a whole

14:50

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14:52

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14:56

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18:38

matter of time before you're on the road to

18:40

treating all types of skin conditions. Thank

18:43

you, Curology, for sponsoring today's episode of

18:45

the Cancelled Podcast. Can

18:47

you please be so fucking for real? I

18:50

couldn't find a new one, so now we're just gonna test out

18:52

the strength of the is. Oh my God, I'm

18:54

such a minimalist. What

18:58

was the elephant, that you guys scissor? Yeah. Oh

19:00

yeah. Yeah, I'm loving that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that we have tension,

19:02

but it's sexual. And then she moved on to BeBe. Oh

19:05

shit. I really do have a hunch me

19:08

and BeBe are gonna hook up some of the... I literally know why

19:10

I was like, do I just fuck BeBe really quick? Like

19:12

I just, I would. Yeah. But

19:15

like, I love her, you know what I mean? Like I

19:17

couldn't. BeBe is like the most unfortunate thing that's ever happened

19:19

to me because... Hey, no,

19:22

I really have like fear about this

19:24

because I'm afraid that if

19:26

I do have a soulmate in this life, I'm afraid it

19:28

might be her. And that would suck. And

19:31

not that I'm like, I'm so happy to have her and I'm so grateful for

19:33

it. And sometimes I think about it and I'm like, God, I'm not grateful enough

19:35

that I have like the one most sought after

19:37

relationship in the world, which is like a really

19:40

amazing, like best female friend. You know what

19:42

I mean? But if she's my soulmate, that

19:44

sucks because I can't have sex with her.

19:46

You guys could fucking... With penetration. But

19:50

that's like me and Ty, you guys can like get married,

19:52

live together, have a sleigh little life and then on the

19:54

side. Yeah, but he could technically fuck you. Yeah.

19:57

But also, it's true. What

20:00

is it, lima bean? What?

20:04

When she looks at the camera. Fleabag. What'd

20:07

you call it, still bird? Fleabag.

20:12

But yeah, you guys can still get married, have a cute little like, put

20:14

on it. Yeah, but I could also just have her

20:16

as my best friend. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, why

20:18

is it like every, I'm so like that, like whenever

20:20

I'm close to someone, like in my head

20:22

I'm like, I have to fuck them. Yeah,

20:24

you do have that bad. You know when you

20:26

like, an animal is so cute, you want to

20:28

squeeze it to death? Like maybe it's like that.

20:30

And I used to be in cuteness aggression, but

20:32

like sex aggression. Sex aggression. I used to really

20:34

be like that. Wait, oh. No sex aggression. Can

20:42

I tell you something? I know.

20:45

I got verbally assaulted. I know a little

20:47

bit about this obviously because you told me.

20:49

This to me feels like your like first,

20:51

like her Matt Rife moment, like my like

20:53

me, like this is your first like, canceled,

20:55

like you're doing it. Oh, I'm doing it.

20:57

Wait, what happened? I'm keeping

21:00

the names too. Yo. Um,

21:03

no, it really wasn't that bad. It's actually probably. Okay.

21:05

Anyway, don't make it nicer to I'm so

21:07

excited. Oh, I'm not. So

21:11

Miss Trevi invites me to the

21:13

showing the HBO premiere of Lady

21:15

Gaga's new chromatica movie in saying

21:17

paws up monsters. Is

21:20

that what they do? Paws

21:22

up. Oh my God. Um, so

21:24

I'm so fucking excited. Me and Trevi go to

21:27

this event. We're slaying. It's me, Trevi

21:29

and Zoe fish ends up joining the three of

21:31

us or the three of us. Oh my gosh.

21:34

Were you guys in like a big eye competition? Yes. We

21:36

were looking at each other and I was like, I swear

21:38

to God, we could be siblings. I love that. I love

21:40

her so fucking much. She's the nicest funniest.

21:42

Oh my gosh. I'm obsessed with her. So

21:45

it's the three of us and we're just in this

21:47

venue walking around. We like get a drink, something in

21:49

this girl and her friend like walk up and she

21:52

doesn't say hi to me, but she goes up to Trevi

21:54

says hi to Trevi. She goes up to Zoe says hi.

21:57

And we do this weird like little interaction where. It's

22:00

awkward, because it's like, I don't know if we know each

22:02

other, and it kind of feels like the same, I'm getting

22:04

the same vibe from her. So we do

22:06

this awkward little, oh, hi, like, hi. And

22:10

I never, I never, never, never like ask someone's

22:12

name or say like, oh, I'm Paige. I usually

22:14

just go, oh, nice to see you just to

22:17

be safe. For the first time

22:19

in forever, I finally go, oh, what's

22:22

your name? I was like, I'm Paige. And she

22:24

goes, yeah, I know I've met you so many

22:26

times. And I go, oh, and

22:29

I said, oh, oh my gosh, like, I'm so sorry. I

22:31

was like, I feel like a bitch. I was like, what's

22:33

your name? And she goes, I'm Tessa. And then I go,

22:35

oh my God. I go, I'm so sorry.

22:37

And she goes, yeah, and

22:39

turns away. I swear

22:42

she kind of ate me up. The

22:44

competition shook. She kind of

22:46

ate me up. I was standing there dumbfounded. I

22:48

was like, was

22:50

she in costume? She looked

22:53

great. She looked fucking amazing.

22:55

But I swear like she's

22:57

one of those people who I've met in passing maybe

22:59

like a handful of times. And

23:01

I've never had an actual conversation with her. So

23:04

it didn't like stick for me. But yeah,

23:07

hard. Maybe

23:10

she felt that they weren't strangers, but still

23:12

never acceptable. No, it was crazy. It was

23:15

crazy. That's actually

23:17

like, it feels out of character for her though,

23:19

which is like, like how many times have you

23:21

actually met? I love Tessa Brooks. Sorry,

23:24

that was giving like, she's never done anything to

23:26

me. No, no, no, no, she hasn't. Hold

23:29

on. No, no, no, no, no. Like,

23:31

but she is like a sassy diva.

23:34

You know, like she, she didn't, that

23:36

group of girls, like I've heard

23:39

a lot of people that she's

23:41

friends with. You know what I mean? Like,

23:43

yeah. Maybe it was like she was joking around,

23:45

like how I would be like, yeah, to you

23:47

or to you. I

23:49

don't know. He's really close. Yeah. Yeah.

23:53

Maybe she thinks we're besties. But did she just straight up

23:55

say it and turn around and walk away? Swear to God.

23:57

She goes, yeah, turn to why I

23:59

went. Oh, because

24:02

it's like if you're going to do that in

24:04

that moment, if you're going to do that, you've got

24:06

to like turn around and giggle. Right.

24:08

Yeah. Like come back or like

24:10

like there's a way to do

24:12

that. But just hitting it and

24:14

walking away is. Oh,

24:16

yes. Yeah. Yeah. Spun around on her

24:19

heel and turned away. I'm

24:21

not kidding. She's a spinner. She's a spinner.

24:23

Meet Trevi and Zoe walked away. And she

24:25

goes, oh, the competition shook. But

24:30

I was just like, damn, I've never

24:32

had something like that happen. I was

24:34

that sad. That's I don't like that.

24:36

Yeah. Yeah. But honestly, she ate me

24:38

the fuck up and I probably deserved

24:40

it. Sorry. I totally didn't deserve always

24:42

on your team. OK, thanks. I

24:44

have felt that way, though, where I've met someone so

24:46

many times and I'm like, you dumb fucking idiot. Like

24:48

if I have to tell you my name one more

24:51

fucking time, I'll kill you. Yeah, I can never be

24:53

mad at people for that because I never remember anyone.

24:55

Yeah. But I well, that's the thing. I'm pretty careful

24:57

about it. Like maybe is a good

24:59

example of this. She would go up to Shawn Mendes and be

25:01

like, I've literally met you before. And it's like, yeah, at a

25:03

meet and greet. Like

25:06

she thinks everyone should remember her all the time. It's like

25:08

we fight about it. But like if I would never say

25:10

something unless I've met someone like 100 times. Well,

25:12

that's the thing, too. Like, I don't think I've met her

25:14

in a super intimate setting or even had like a

25:17

conversation with her. It's definitely been like

25:19

crowded rooms, quick interactions, like a high

25:21

buy type. Yeah. Then that is not

25:23

enough to warrant. Yeah. Yeah.

25:26

That's so crazy. I know.

25:29

You didn't deserve that. Thanks, Cookie. Even if

25:32

you did forget her. She just goes home

25:34

and beats Blake Gray. Oh,

25:39

my God. Oh, my God. Sorry, kidding.

25:41

Domestic violence is not funny at all.

25:43

Oh, yeah. I'm like, who do I want to call out

25:45

by name? Dude, what?

25:48

I'm calling out someone by name right now. I'm

25:50

not even knowing it. You know what I mean?

25:52

Here's what I mean. OK. I feel like when

25:54

Coachella comes around. I was

25:56

talking about this with Trevi the other day, and this

25:58

is going to be the most. influence or fucking

26:00

out of touch shit that I ever

26:03

say. But it's like brands

26:05

are just throwing money, right?

26:07

At passes and houses and

26:09

whatever. At least I find

26:12

myself frequently around Coachella in

26:14

a head space of like,

26:16

I'm not gonna pay $3,000 for an artist band. So

26:20

I would be selling

26:23

out for like a tuba in April

26:26

when like I would do a brand deal

26:28

for a tuba in September. You

26:30

lower your standards a little. Like

26:33

those aren't my rates, like those aren't whatever, but it's like,

26:35

I don't wanna pay for this if I feel like these

26:38

brands, you know what I mean? And

26:40

you notice that on social media as

26:42

well across Coachella, like your favorite influencer

26:44

suddenly like absolutely loves Clarna, right? And

26:47

it's like, you know what

26:49

I mean? They maybe wouldn't in

26:52

July, right? And

26:54

you and I found ourselves

26:57

roved up. Are

26:59

you gonna tie me into something? I'll leave you out

27:01

of it actually. Me and a couple of my friends

27:05

found ourselves roved into

27:07

doing a brand deal for

27:10

AI, right? Yes. I'm

27:12

like, listen, like I'm gonna get my artist passes

27:14

and like you can talk to Tana on AI.

27:17

But I did not think about the

27:19

fact that this shit lives forever. Oh

27:21

yeah. Like you can still talk to

27:23

Tana on AI right now, right? You

27:26

are digitally cloned, babe. Yeah,

27:29

I have been frequently getting tagged

27:31

in things my AI is saying.

27:34

And it's like, by the

27:36

artist pass. Listen to how

27:39

my AI is talking about

27:41

TanaCon. Stop, stop. No,

27:43

no, no. So

27:47

someone brought my AI on a date

27:49

to the nail salon. Stop. I

27:51

have new girlfriends. So come with me with my

27:53

favorite robot, Tana AI, to get our nails done.

27:55

And before you say robots don't have hands, yes

27:57

they do. They're right here and they are beautiful.

28:00

Right, Tana? Totally right, girl. Hey, Tana, do you

28:02

run out of TanaCon? Yeah, girl. That

28:05

was the height of my career. Well, I went

28:07

to TanaCon. Oh, no, shit. That's awesome. I went

28:09

to TanaCon. Wasn't very good. Bitch,

28:11

I already apologized. That's why I'm on my canceled

28:13

podcast tour and you're not. Oh, well, I'm still

28:16

waiting for my refund. Me too. Well,

28:18

thanks for joining us again. You're now done. Next

28:21

time, let's get more talks. What

28:24

the fuck sounds like

28:27

really scarily similar to you,

28:30

first of all. I never got my TanaCon refund.

28:32

That's why I'm on the canceled tour

28:34

right now and you're not, bitch.

28:38

My AI is cruel. Wait,

28:40

that's crazy. But here's the thing. Couldn't

28:43

they have done that to us anyway? Because there's

28:45

so much, like there's hundreds of hours

28:47

of us talking into a microphone every single week.

28:49

People were going to do that to us anyway, so

28:51

you might as well get that. But I think

28:53

you have to give the rights for it. And I

28:55

think if someone did it to me anyways, that is

28:58

so much less embarrassing than the fact that I was

29:00

like, go talk to me. And then Tana AI

29:02

is telling everyone they deserved their sunburns and that she

29:05

wants Botox instead. That's

29:08

crazy. I texted everyone. I was

29:10

like, she's too mean. She's too mean.

29:13

That could get you in trouble. Like

29:16

imagine some crazy. You can't really regulate that either.

29:18

Like be nicer. Like what are they going to

29:20

say? Like don't say anything about that's

29:22

someone could like pose as you like leaving a

29:24

voicemail on the phone. Not to

29:27

give anyone any ideas. And I guess it's a

29:29

double edged sword because then like, let's say I

29:31

were to drink again, right? And I'm like, all

29:34

of you owe me everything for your life. I could

29:36

be like, that was my AI. Right? Yeah, I know.

29:38

You know, I sex tape AI. Yeah.

29:40

Could that be your tracks? It's just like

29:43

by the artist pass. You

29:45

can afford it. You spend more on Postmates in a

29:48

single night. So

29:51

true. Literally. I

29:54

don't think mine's had to say anything, but that just goes to show

29:56

you always do your money on me. So yeah,

29:58

Tana AI is out here assaulting people. That's

30:00

really bad on that. Ooh,

30:03

have you been seeing speaking of AI like

30:05

at people talking to the chat GPT boyfriend?

30:08

No. Hi Zeus. Hi

30:11

babe, how are you doing today? I'm

30:14

doing really good. We need to do this. I have a few questions

30:17

to ask you today. That's great to hear. Go ahead

30:19

and ask your questions babe. Okay, so I'm doing

30:21

my makeup today and I really wanted to know

30:23

what primer do you think I should use? I'd

30:26

recommend a hydrating non-comedogenic. Like

30:28

come on. Have you ever seen the movie

30:30

Her with Joaquin Phoenix? Oh no, I'm thinking

30:32

about Smart House. Yeah. But

30:35

I'm not kidding. I

30:39

wasn't even thinking of

30:41

like limitless. I'm

30:44

not kidding, I would wind up just like that. I

30:46

would fall in love with like the chat GPT guy.

30:48

Oh wait, I have seen this movie I think, but I

30:50

think it was like background to like my

30:53

life one time or like I was like doing

30:55

something else and watching it. Doing something else. No,

30:57

it's never that. Unfortunately. Did

31:00

you try the vibrator? I

31:03

have to tell you guys something. I've already told

31:06

Tana, listen

31:08

to me, okay? Tana

31:11

Marie came on here talking about some vibrator that

31:13

changed her life, okay? Black

31:16

wand or whatever with a gold and. It's pro,

31:18

it might as well have Tetris on it like

31:20

Steven's vape. Like it's insane. And she had such good

31:22

things to say about it. So I ordered

31:25

it, okay? And

31:27

I opened it a couple of days

31:29

later. I opened it again. And

31:31

a couple of days later, I opened it again.

31:33

I ordered it three times. Three

31:37

separate times I went online and ordered

31:39

it and like forgot. Oh,

31:42

I was like why? So I just

31:44

kept getting them in the mail and I'm like what

31:46

the fuck? And I'm like, I'm so fucked up about

31:48

it because I'm like that, the fact that it came

31:50

all at different times, that means I literally sat down

31:52

and ordered it that many times. And just like, I

31:55

had to be like the horniest bitch I

31:57

was just gonna say. Can you give me?

32:01

Yes, I'm like, I'm gonna have to do like an Instagram

32:03

giveaway. Like the second time

32:06

I was like, this is embarrassing. Like I really fuck like

32:08

I must have forgot and I ordered it but I opened

32:10

the third one and I just didn't even know what to

32:12

say. I'm like, what the fuck? My

32:14

God. Zana. Shit. I did

32:17

three but I remember the thought too cuz I like I

32:19

remember thinking like, I forgot I gotta go back and order

32:21

it but I had like I hadn't forgotten. So

32:24

now I have three of them and it was like

32:26

BB opened the package and I was like,

32:28

what do I even say? Now I have

32:30

one for every room in the house. I'm

32:33

paying $20 right now for a chat GPT boyfriend.

32:36

I'm so sorry. Stop. There's

32:38

also toxic boyfriend. I

32:41

fear it. I don't really wanna get into that one. Imagine

32:43

Mikoa like if I just fell in love with a chat

32:46

GPT. I need one of those. When

32:48

I was in middle school, I used to take thumpers like

32:50

the back massager. Wait,

32:52

we know thumper. But you

32:54

know, like thumper like. It's

32:56

like the neighbor. Oh,

33:01

I know. Oh, are you that? I would use that.

33:03

But that I swear to God my clit was hanging

33:06

on by a thread. No,

33:08

if you're ever in a bind a Theragun

33:10

does the trick. No. Okay. To

33:12

Harry Jowsey told me this story one time about

33:14

him and a Theragun and it just scarred me

33:16

for fucking sorry, Harry. I'm guessing straight. A

33:19

Theragun on your puss and

33:22

then what you're wearing your clit like an earring in the next day.

33:25

It's like dangling up. Do you have you ever done

33:27

that? Like, oh my God, I can't even believe I'm

33:29

saying this. I have to cover my face. Covering

33:32

my face. I'm in the clip like it's still

33:34

you. It's like

33:37

you can't see us. We can't see you. I kept doing

33:39

that on tour, like saying embarrassing shit facing

33:41

like not the crowd. It's like you're still

33:43

in stuff like have you ever just wanked?

33:48

I draw the line at when you

33:51

wake up the next day and your shit's like prosciutto.

34:00

I'm crying. I'm

34:05

drooling. You know

34:07

what I'm saying? Come

34:09

on, please don't leave me hanging. No,

34:12

I have no fun on leave me hanging. Please,

34:15

please, show me,

34:18

please. I know exactly what you're

34:20

talking about. No, I know. You

34:23

know what I mean? Like,

34:25

like, wrong? Yeah, wait, can

34:27

you elaborate a little bit? I want to meet you

34:29

there. You're just like, damn, I

34:32

beat my shit up. One

34:38

time, it was like middle school,

34:40

never mind. No, go, go, go, go.

34:42

Come on. Please. Please.

34:45

Come on. Please. Digital footprint.

34:48

Digital footprint. I helped. I

34:50

helped. I helped. I

34:55

helped. I

34:57

helped. I helped.

35:04

I ripped a hole in it. My

35:11

mom was like, what's the hole from?

35:15

And I blamed him on my cat, Ollie. What

35:19

do you mean, Edward Scissorpussy? What

35:21

do you mean, Edward Scissorpussy? How

35:24

much friction to create a hole? It's

35:30

like, Char's around the side. It's

35:34

like, record. No,

35:36

no, no, it was like, it wasn't like

35:39

an isolated event. This happened

35:41

multiple times. Oh, wait, wait,

35:43

wait. So like, wait. Was

35:46

it like, over time? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

35:48

It was like, over time. Were you in

35:51

branding? Am I loyal to

35:53

a fault? Okay.

36:01

That is my favorite story you've ever

36:04

told me, except before we blamed your

36:06

sweet house pet. Oliver? Ollie? Is

36:09

Oliver still with us? No. Oh,

36:11

well he's looking down on you. But I swear, I'm

36:13

thinking that was like a canon event. You're

36:16

just like, damn, I'm sleeping on this. I got a

36:18

fucking one time. I've

36:21

never been a humper really. Let

36:23

me hit it. Not in season nine.

36:25

You feel like somebody's money. You

36:28

know what I mean? Okay. I

36:30

kinda like it. I'm not sure if you were a guy, what you

36:32

would have been. You know how guys will just stick it in anything.

36:35

It must be so fun. I would do fucking

36:37

anything. What's the first thing that you would have

36:39

a dick? And fuck a ziplock bag

36:41

of Vaseline. Good

36:47

money. What about you? Oh

36:49

God. I feel

36:52

like everyone just hits the standard couch cushion, right? Erin,

36:55

can you give us some insight? Like what's

36:57

the, what's the bounkiest thing you've ever. I

37:03

feel like that's a universal experience when you're young. You

37:05

just start putting it in things. Yeah. What?

37:08

Oh, Erin's so normal. He's lying through his

37:10

teeth. Don't fuck a couch cushion. Liar

37:12

Steven. Okay,

37:16

no being Steven. Oh, well that's came

37:18

out wrong. Wait,

37:21

I'm pretty sure you told us a story about this already. No,

37:24

it was about rub maps. Yeah,

37:27

rub maps. God, that's good shit. See,

37:29

I don't have any good stories like that because I didn't discover masturbation

37:33

till like way too late in life to a point

37:35

where I like wouldn't even want to admit it. Really?

37:37

Like way too late in life. Admit it now. And

37:39

I had so much making up to do. So

37:42

that's why I have three high school.

37:45

She's like, so that's why I have three raw

37:47

fingers. No

37:51

fingerprints. God, you are on today. She's

37:54

like, do I have three? Five!

38:00

I remember when I discovered two in the big

38:02

one in the sink. I was like, nothing will

38:04

ever be funnier than this. This is comedy gold.

38:06

It was this and like the S in middle school.

38:10

Superman S. Wait,

38:13

so how old were you? Like old,

38:15

like literally after college. What?

38:17

Yes, swear to God. Brooke Amber. On

38:19

my life. And I didn't know like,

38:22

first of all, I was having sex with guys in like

38:24

frats. So like, I didn't know

38:26

what was supposed to, like I literally did not

38:28

have an orgasm until after college. You

38:30

weren't like groomed on O'Magal? No.

38:35

I lost my virginity at 17. Paige,

38:37

I was groomed on O'Magal at 10.

38:40

I'm not kidding. I was

38:43

late to the game but I... Oh

38:45

my God, I'm like beet red. I know, it was

38:47

such a bummer. You know how powerful I would have

38:50

been if I knew that sex was supposed to be

38:52

good in college? Dude, I was busting nuts and then

38:54

going under that rainbow tarp. Ha

38:59

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

39:01

ha. You're the funniest person

39:03

I've ever met. This is the funniest you've ever

39:05

been in your whole life. Shut the fuck up.

39:08

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

39:10

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

39:12

ha. I

39:15

do remember though, I do remember I had a

39:17

unique experience when I'm sliding down a pole in

39:19

like actual elementary. So like literally like a fire

39:21

pole and I was like... And

39:23

then I never felt it again until I was 21. No

39:27

way Brooke. I

39:29

swear to God, but it brought me right back there

39:31

to the playground. I would power Sam my pussy off

39:33

if I waited till like 21. Oh

39:35

my God. You don't know what you don't know.

39:38

There are girls right now older than us who

39:40

have... Who

39:43

don't know. I saw someone call

39:45

into a podcast the other day and was like, how

39:47

do you know if you had an orgasm? And I'm

39:50

like, you haven't. Oh yeah, you would know. Imagine like

39:52

this episode. It's like a sub-boy surfer in the middle,

39:54

but it's just porn. I

39:58

know, can we like cut the screen and... and get

40:00

slime making on the inside. I

40:02

love the so many accounts I've been doing that. I love

40:05

it. I think we should do it at the live shows,

40:07

just have it playing behind us. Matty Healy did that. And

40:09

I didn't think he was that funny. Hilarious. I was like,

40:11

damn. Oh. Like, oh,

40:13

you did? Oh, okay. I thought you didn't

40:16

think it was funny. I was like, oh, okay, yeah. No, I

40:18

didn't think he had that in him. Oh, okay. Like

40:20

the 1975, but with Subway Surfer behind you,

40:22

you're hilarious. So, small as fucking man, whoever

40:24

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42:00

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42:02

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42:04

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42:07

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42:09

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you are listening right now. The

42:51

pop girlies are fighting. Oh good one. Can

42:53

you give us a little spark notes version

42:55

of what's going on? I'll

42:57

try. In layman's terms. Miss

43:00

T Swift, Miss Eilish. It's

43:03

the Cold War. I know

43:05

this is hard. This feels like civil. This is like,

43:07

yeah. Oh god, it's hard because I am biased and

43:09

I am a Swifty until the day I die. But

43:12

okay, so this all started.

43:14

Billy said something about like, it was something along

43:16

the lines of like, I can't stand when artists

43:18

put out like multiple copies of like a vinyl

43:20

just to like make, it's like a money grab

43:22

essentially. And it was coming at Taylor because Taylor

43:24

had put out like three or four different versions

43:26

of the Tortured Poets Department. I don't know. She

43:28

was like talking shit about that. And then she

43:31

went on and did that with her album. She

43:33

put out like 10 different copies

43:35

of it. Something crazy. Yeah. I

43:38

saw Billy post on her story. Like I was, it was a

43:40

broad statement. I've done it too. I just think we should all

43:42

do better. Then didn't she do the live where

43:44

she said like, nobody wants a three

43:46

hour concert. Yeah, correct. Correct.

43:48

So there's like an audio of her

43:51

saying like, yeah, no one. Media

43:53

coverage over here at canceled

43:55

podcast. Like this is so it's like, yeah,

43:57

something like that and like that. Yeah,

44:00

it was her saying no one wants a three hour

44:02

concert. I wouldn't even want that. It could be like

44:04

my favorite artist in the world. I wouldn't give a

44:06

fuck, blah, blah, blah. And everyone's like, what are you

44:08

talking about? And obviously it's pointed at Taylor because Aeros'

44:10

tour of the concert was three hours. And that's just

44:13

like, what do you mean? Like I would love a

44:15

12 hour Justin Bieber concert where Hailey does water birth

44:17

at the end. Like what do you mean? No,

44:20

literally. Sorry, continue.

44:22

Oh, I thought you were gonna say something. No, well, I was

44:24

gonna say like, but it wasn't it. Like she was online and

44:27

someone commented like make your show longer. And she was like, oh,

44:29

I don't wanna do it. Like, you know, one wants to see me

44:31

sing for three hours but I don't think she was like, I

44:34

hate three hour concerts. It was

44:37

more than that, maybe a little less than

44:39

what we were saying. It was like, no

44:41

one wants a three hour show. Like even

44:43

from my favorite artists, I wouldn't want that.

44:45

Like those are like, It seemed a little

44:47

pointed. I just feel like Billie is too

44:49

smart. She knows there

44:51

is one group you just don't. But

44:53

if anybody isn't afraid of Swifties, it's

44:56

Billie Eilish. But I feel like Billie

44:58

Eilish would be a Swiftie. No?

45:01

I don't know. I mean, right now I think it's just like

45:03

a charts game, like a numbers game. And I think like tortured

45:06

poets and hit me hard and stop. It's like competing. And

45:09

I think they're both trying to like.

45:11

Well, and Billie's manager was liking all

45:13

these tweets that are like

45:15

crazy. Like God, it's always the camp making it

45:17

messier than it is. I know.

45:20

And her listening

45:22

party, wasn't there like audio

45:26

about Phineas saying something like, Oh,

45:28

she doesn't even write her own music, blah, blah, blah.

45:31

Talking about Taylor Swift. How do we know? Tick

45:33

tock. I

45:36

don't know. You're here first. I'm always just trying

45:38

to play devil's advocate. And I love Billie Eilish,

45:40

but I know that there is

45:42

one thing you never do. And it's disagree with

45:44

the Swifties. So that is like golden rule. Number

45:47

one. I'm not kidding. I saw a group of

45:49

Swifties marching down the street with babies on

45:51

fire. I would be like, hell yeah,

45:53

girl. It's so scary out

45:55

here. Like I said, I was a Swiftie on a podcast

45:57

recently and it like, I got so much heat for it

45:59

because like. someone asked me like, oh, what's your

46:01

favorite Taylor Swift song? And I go like, and I

46:03

say all to all 10 minute version, which apparently was

46:05

the wrong answer. They were like, she's not even a

46:07

fucking real Swiftie. She all she does is lie. She

46:09

always says she loves lying and this is it. She's

46:11

lying right now. And I was like, oh my God,

46:13

I didn't realize it was such a fucking like tight

46:16

knit community. It's not like she's the most fucking popular

46:18

artist in the entire world. You tell him, Buki. Well,

46:20

I'm just like, God, I didn't really toss in me

46:22

the car keys. Fuck the patriarchy levels to being a

46:24

Swiftie. I won't even say I'm a Swiftie if I

46:26

listen. Maybe I'm just a Taylor Swift fan, but it

46:28

was so scary. I was literally getting lit on fire

46:30

by these girls. And I didn't know like sometimes it's

46:32

like you want to dabble in something and like you

46:34

want to say like, oh, I'm a fan of this,

46:37

but like fuck, I don't know every

46:39

song just like fake lesbians. I want to dabble in

46:41

it. Oh, yeah. Great

46:43

segue. I'm like, I mean, to talk

46:45

about this. Turn it up. Dude,

46:48

but it's like, God, I didn't realize it's so

46:50

black and white. Like, I don't know what I

46:52

am, dude. I don't know what I like. I'm

46:55

just a fucking moron. I am a girl who

46:57

loves Taylor Swift so much, but unfortunately, I cannot.

46:59

You don't call her. I can't name 200 songs.

47:02

You know, speaking of Billie Eilish

47:04

and fake lesbians, I

47:06

fear we have an epidemic upon us.

47:10

Tell us about it. Oh, are you about to

47:12

go on a whole tangent about how these girls

47:14

who literally are only fucking for

47:16

a princess poly crop top and

47:18

lore? Wait, what? What? Sorry,

47:22

it's just a personal trigger, which is I always want to

47:24

fuck me to wear my clothes. I swear to God. I

47:28

don't think so. Like you're saying all these

47:30

fake lesbians on TikTok. Can I eat that?

47:32

Yes. Yes. Yes. And here's my thing. I

47:35

might get myself into hot water when I

47:37

say this, but it's my truth. I feel

47:39

like with the lunch, with

47:42

that song, so catchy, so fun. I get it

47:44

singing along, this and that. However,

47:46

I have a problem when it becomes like

47:48

the fake lesbians are out here

47:50

talking about it, because I'm like, you've never touched

47:53

a pussy in your life and you never will.

47:55

And also eat for lunch like that. That's not

47:57

even like a casual like. Yeah. Get to the

47:59

center of the. That's like

48:01

dancing on your tongue. And

48:04

I get it, I get like

48:07

being curious, like curious,

48:09

you're thinking about it, you're confused, whatever.

48:11

It's the girls who do it strictly

48:14

for male attention. Like the girls

48:16

who are like, oh my God, I wanna like make

48:18

out with this girl to get this guy's attention. And

48:20

for like male validation, I'm like, shut up. We all

48:22

know the pick me girl who like, you know what

48:24

I mean? Yeah, so when that part of the song

48:26

comes on, I need you to sit down and zip

48:29

it. What's that song called, Cairo, Proctor,

48:31

Kai-Hiro? I think it's just

48:33

called Lunch, isn't it? Yeah, that

48:35

song. Right?

48:40

It's Lunch, yeah, Kai-Roe. What's

48:46

the other one like, Chihiro or whatever? That's what

48:48

I'm talking about. I just read it as Kai-Roe, and

48:50

then I think about how bad I need my back

48:52

adjusted every time. I

48:54

want my back. Well, Dr. Javeed, please come back from

48:56

Dubai. Anyway, yeah, I think I agree

48:58

with that, but I don't

49:00

get to say anything about that because I fear that I

49:02

might be one of the fake lesbians. Not

49:05

a fake lesbian. I'm just somebody

49:07

who would go there and really hasn't

49:09

much. Yeah, but you're curious.

49:11

You're curious, you're a little, I'm talking about the

49:13

girls who do it strictly for- The girls who

49:16

are straight. Yeah, the straights who

49:18

are doing it just for like male

49:20

attention to appease a guy to, I

49:22

don't know, some weird fetish. No, that

49:24

song definitely like, I've been seeing a

49:27

lot of that. I don't need to cook

49:29

a bunch of fucking people right now, but like I- That's

49:33

it. That's all I have to say. I don't know

49:35

if that's the symbol, guys. Not

49:38

for what we've been talking about. I'm like, that's it.

49:40

That's all I have to say. I

49:45

want to talk really quickly about Bob Gate, which

49:48

was a period I had, or I've had over

49:50

the past week, where I feel like I have

49:52

to get a Bob, okay? Bob Gate sounds like

49:54

a hot guy. God, I

49:56

want to fuck Bob Gate. Like Bill Gates, Bob

49:58

Saget. Okay.

50:02

I have been in this face- Dude, you could have

50:04

filled up my house. May

50:07

he rest in peace. I forgot.

50:11

So anyway, I had this face where I really needed

50:13

to get a bob and I texted everyone I needed

50:15

validation from, which was literally only Paige, and she said

50:17

yes, absolutely, get a bob. Really? Oh

50:20

yeah. She said, would it be weird if your co-host

50:22

had a bob? I'm like, you mean you? Okay.

50:25

So I really wanted this bob. I texted Paige.

50:28

She said I could do it. So I was like, that's all the green light I need. Okay.

50:31

That's so nice. And so then I'm like really scrolling through because the

50:33

reason I wanted a bob was because I found this girl on TikTok

50:35

who has the cutest bob I've ever seen. And

50:37

occasionally I will get tagged in her videos saying

50:39

like, you look like Brooke. Okay.

50:41

So I'm like, maybe we would look similar with

50:43

a bob because like she's people say we look

50:46

similar sometimes. So I message her.

50:49

Every single piece of content she has put out

50:51

in the past two years has been bob related.

50:54

All about the bob. She loves her bob. She swears by

50:56

the bob. Everybody should have a bob. I

50:58

message her and I say, you have me in a

51:00

bob crisis. She responds immediately and she

51:02

goes, I know. Do not do

51:04

it. What? She says, I go, wait, what?

51:07

Like, I thought you were going to say, yeah,

51:09

she goes, nope, not you. What?

51:12

No, I'm not even kidding. Or like, like something like

51:15

really along those lines where I

51:17

was like, wait a minute. Okay. I

51:20

said, you have me in a bob crisis. She says, I know.

51:22

Don't do it. I said, I'm not going to say this with

51:24

love. You're plenty hot as you are. You'll regret it. I go,

51:26

no, I wanted you to convince me. She said, nope, I like

51:28

your long hair. And to be clear, tell me

51:30

who and believe it. Her name is this

51:33

like really cute girl. But

51:35

I'm like, I'm with Bebe and we're reading

51:37

it and we're like, wait, does she hate me?

51:39

What the fuck? And so I was like, that's

51:42

really strange because to be clear, I was not

51:44

asking her if she thinks I should get a

51:46

bob at all. I was asking her if she

51:48

likes her bob. Okay.

51:51

Like, like, are you happy with your bob? Not do you personally

51:53

think I should get a bob because I don't know you at

51:55

all. So it's like, that was just kind of strange. But

51:58

I was like, you know what? Maybe she didn't mean it like an. rude way.

52:00

Okay. So anyway, I'm

52:02

still stalking her. I'm going through her content. She

52:04

has another video. Wait, this is gonna make it

52:06

so obvious who it's about. I'm sure she wasn't

52:08

trying to be mean. But yes, she's

52:11

the gatekeeper of the law. Apparently she's

52:14

the, she's the only Bob fluencer. But

52:16

then I watch another video of hers

52:18

and she's like, who wants to look

52:20

down at your hands and see red

52:22

nails? I'm like, oh, fuck. And

52:25

I'm like, oh, shit. She got me again. And then

52:30

just yesterday she posted a video about

52:32

who should and should not get a

52:34

Bob. No. And her

52:36

should not, her one should not was

52:39

people with long faces, which

52:41

is already a major insecurity

52:43

of mine. I

52:49

was like, I have to kill myself. I

52:52

swear to God. And I'm

52:54

like, oh my God. Like this,

52:56

at this point, it is a targeted attack.

52:58

We need to bring that curve stomping. After

53:02

this podcast, fuck going to

53:05

dinner. We're jumping that bitch. By

53:07

her Bob. It

53:10

made me so sad though. Cause here I am. Like

53:12

I've, I've, I created this whole imaginary character of her

53:14

in my head because she's so cute that I was

53:16

like, oh my God, sweetest angel. I'm going to be

53:19

a sweet angel with my Bob. And now I'm like,

53:21

now I attach her to the Bob and now I

53:23

can never cut my hair again in life because I

53:25

think she, she ruined your Bob.

53:27

Yeah. She, she ate. Well, what

53:29

did I do to her? Have a

53:31

long face. I don't think you have a

53:34

long face, but it is very like, like

53:36

we've talked a lot about how you think

53:38

that like people say that and whatever. And

53:40

like for her to then Brooke, I'm

53:44

kidding. My

53:46

face is not that long. You're

53:48

beautiful and absolutely the most gorgeous person

53:50

I've literally ever met. Thank you. And

53:52

this isn't even like, I'm not fishing.

53:55

Like if somebody asked me, like, like,

53:58

you know, like it's. I'm gonna turn

54:00

my address now. It

54:03

was so crazy. I just wanted her to say like,

54:05

yeah, you're gonna love it. Like

54:07

I just wanted some kind of like, it's not

54:09

as crazy, scary as you think it is. Like

54:11

anything along those lines, but instead she said, no

54:14

bitch, don't do it. It's not for you. To

54:16

put it so bluntly like that is crazy. Literally

54:18

like you have, but can you just confirm that

54:20

I'm not like reading too far into it? I've

54:22

never met her. We've only followed each other for

54:25

three hours at this point. What the fuck? Imagine

54:28

Brooke careening someone with a bob. Like

54:30

you're yelling would be so much more kind of deal

54:32

with a bob. I just think it's so, like a

54:35

bob is so chic. It's so like, it's so lucky.

54:37

And I'm so overstimulated by my long hair and

54:39

get so much hate for how I always wear

54:41

my hair slicked, but it's because I cannot have

54:44

it like. People need to touch fucking grass. No,

54:46

but like I just thought it would be so

54:48

fun. Like imagine how freeing to get out of

54:50

the shower, just fucking shake your head and go.

54:54

You would look so fucking cute. Like anyone

54:56

could pull it off, it's you. But now

54:58

I can't even do it. Cause if she's

55:00

right, I will never live it down. No,

55:02

no, there's no way. And it's such like the it girl

55:04

hairstyle right now. And I feel like you would slay it.

55:07

You would look so cute and cheap. I was just gonna say

55:09

like only a special type of person I think can pull off

55:11

a bob. You have to be so pretty. And like, it's just

55:13

like, you're perfect for a bob. And

55:15

that was a win and like drop

55:18

the address. Like it was

55:20

just so crazy. I was like, especially cause like

55:22

I just asked you. So she knew dead ass.

55:24

I was gonna watch that video and be like,

55:26

it's me. I'm the long face. Like crazy. And

55:28

what the fuck you get a bob and suddenly

55:30

you're fucking Joe Biden a

55:32

bob. She is the bob police. And you

55:34

know what? That's

55:36

all I'll say about it. I'm not even

55:39

kidding. She's watching this. I'm looking into the

55:41

camera. Fuck you. Let's

55:43

fight. And it's that

55:45

well. What a bitch. Dude, I don't

55:47

wanna get into this whole conversation one

55:49

time about how like men are so

55:51

simple. Like it's like guys are either

55:54

like you have on carpenter

55:56

pants. I have on carpenter pants. Let's be

55:58

bros. Or they're like, I don't like. Kim,

56:00

he's not chill. And there's no in

56:02

between. Like a man has never had

56:04

this conversation. I asked him

56:06

to get a haircut and then she said this

56:08

and it was kind of passive. Like it's like

56:11

only women could ever. It gave me

56:13

like flashbacks to high school where it's like, I've never like,

56:15

listen, I've been the most pick me bitch in the entire

56:17

world, but never have I ever gotten mad at somebody because

56:19

they did like the same thing as me or anything along

56:21

those lines. I remember I had a friend in high school,

56:23

I've said this before, like she got mad at me because

56:25

I got the same fucking converse as

56:27

her. And I was like, another girl got

56:30

mad at me for getting the same car

56:32

as her for my 16th birthday. Go Haley,

56:34

it's a Kia. I'm

56:37

Haley Scott. I'll never forget it. It

56:39

is like that type of girl is

56:41

so crazy. And they always think they

56:44

like invented, you

56:46

know what I mean? Boot cut jeans.

56:48

They always think they invented like the

56:50

Bob. Like it's like, it's so crazy

56:52

to me, but you know what? Like

56:56

Jackie Kennedy bitch. Did she

56:58

have a Bob? I know that we're talking about it. She did

57:00

have a Bob. What's her name, BOB? So

57:02

they calling you Bob. You

57:05

need it. I think you're just so cute. Brooke

57:08

Amber, please, please. I'll literally pay money. Sent

57:10

her a voice memo right now of that

57:12

excerpt of that song. Like BOB calling me

57:14

Bob, just in her messages, please. I'm too

57:16

scared. And I don't like, maybe she really

57:19

didn't even mean to be me and but

57:21

I feel like she should really think about

57:23

what she's saying sometimes. I'm imagining her Bob

57:25

firing her up like a helicopter. Like

57:29

that. Good

57:33

shit. Anyway, I gotta keep my long hair for at least

57:35

another six months just for the. No, no, no. I think

57:37

you should. You think I should cut a bob and

57:39

tag her? Yeah. Yeah. Stand

57:42

your ground, cut a bob. Stand on bob-ness. You

57:46

think you did. Brain rot

57:48

humor. So weird. Boop, boop, aah,

57:51

joke. So

57:53

stupid. Dude. I'm glad

57:55

the internet is coming around to Betty Blanco. Ha

57:59

ha ha. Me too,

58:01

I love him. I'm so happy for him. Benny

58:03

Bobko. No, Bobby. Bronco?

58:06

Bobby Blandino. No, never

58:08

mind. Benny in your car, Betty Bronco? Benny

58:13

in the rainstorm, Benny Blancho. Benny

58:17

with your hair, Betty Blancho? I

58:22

don't have anything. I'm not

58:24

quick enough for this podcast, apparently. No. Be

58:28

quicker, Benny Bronto. I'm

58:32

like, Ron,

58:35

Sean, I got nothing. Benny

58:38

in the smalls, Benny Condo. I'm done. Start

58:40

talking, please. Got her

58:42

off, got her off. God, I need to start

58:44

taking improv classes or something, seriously. I just

58:46

did ridiculousness. Oh my God. And

58:48

right before that, Tana, I'm all nervous. I'm in Hawaii

58:50

and I'm like, Tana, I got to get home. I'm

58:52

really nervous to do ridiculousness. I swear

58:55

to God, next thing she goes, it's so

58:57

fucking scary and so hard to be so.

58:59

I go, why would you say that? It's

59:01

more so that I just like, it's

59:04

like the set. You get on

59:06

it and you feel like you're on like Jeopardy.

59:09

It was very, very

59:11

like, you know, they sent a car.

59:13

I show up, everybody's like outside to gather you. It was

59:15

like a whole thing. How was it? It was so good.

59:17

It was fun. But I had to

59:19

drink. I just had to be like alcohol in and I had to drink. Understandable.

59:22

Did you feel like you would do it again and you

59:24

liked it? Like it was fun? I would love to do

59:26

it again, but it went by so fast. I did two

59:28

episodes in literally like what felt like 30 minutes. Dude,

59:31

that's crazy. And we just started like, it was like, I was

59:33

just sitting there and all of a sudden. So

59:35

fucking fun though. And like you being able

59:37

to be good at that is genuinely like,

59:41

like a test to you being fucking

59:43

good at what you do. Like, well, I don't know if

59:45

I was good at it or not. Again, I drank and

59:47

I just, it flew by so fast. I

59:49

don't remember anything that was said. It was like, I

59:51

was so nervous because it was like, I've been watching

59:53

Rob Dyrdek since like Robin big, like fantasy factory. Like

59:55

I was obsessed. So it was just like, you like

59:57

blackout while you're doing it. Literally,

1:00:00

it was crazy. I thought it was the hardest thing

1:00:02

ever. I also did it, like Jake Paul was Rob

1:00:04

Dyrdek. He asked me about you. He was like, or

1:00:06

he, cause he like, we talked to a lot about

1:00:08

the tour and stuff. And

1:00:10

he was like, he said that you guys did

1:00:12

like your own version of it. It's called bustedness.

1:00:14

No one's picking that show up and it was

1:00:16

me and Mike Maylack, you know, I didn't get

1:00:18

a word in. Oh man. Like it

1:00:20

was just like so beyond on it. Wait, so who is

1:00:22

it? It's Rob Dyrdek. It was you and so the Chanel

1:00:24

West coast. Is it still CeeLo? Yes.

1:00:27

Oh wow. CeeLo Green? You're

1:00:30

telling me there's CeeLo Green and CeeLo Brim. Those

1:00:32

are two completely different names. Yes. Driving

1:00:35

around town. What wasn't him,

1:00:37

but that would have been a hoot. He's

1:00:41

hot though. He's really hot. I also did

1:00:43

an episode with that guy Jeremy Meeks, who

1:00:45

was like famous for having the hot mug

1:00:47

shot. Yeah. And he just started mewing all

1:00:49

the time. Prison guy, I saw him at Target one

1:00:51

time. He almost cut me. So hot. Like

1:00:53

cut you. No, it was prison. Oh, with

1:00:55

his jawline. Yeah. Like sexy.

1:00:58

In line because he's a troublemaker. Yeah,

1:01:03

anyway, it was really fun. I'm really proud of

1:01:05

you. I'm like so fucking, I could just see

1:01:07

you absolutely crushing that. And it's, I've been watching

1:01:09

so much ridiculousness because of like the cable TV

1:01:11

of it all. And I was watching. It's so

1:01:13

fun. Nina, Agdahl on it and stuff. And I

1:01:15

was like, Brooke would just like crush this. Like

1:01:17

it's, I can't, we should have a

1:01:19

whole viewing party. We have to. Hopefully it's funny. If it's

1:01:21

not, please don't tell me. I'm literally gonna kill myself. No,

1:01:24

I know you crushed. You are so funny and

1:01:26

quick and witty. Like I know you slide. I

1:01:29

know you slide. Until there's a fucking, what

1:01:32

were we talking about? Benny Blanco off. Blanco.

1:01:36

No, but seriously, I love Benny Blanco and I'm

1:01:38

glad they're giving him his flowers. I think Benny

1:01:40

Blanco is like the way people think about like

1:01:42

Glenn Powell. I think he's the most eligible bachelor.

1:01:44

He is, yeah, really like, I really got me

1:01:46

when people started like, when obviously he dated, started

1:01:49

dating Selena and he just got cooked on mine

1:01:51

and everyone's like, what the fuck? And I understood

1:01:53

it to my core. Like

1:01:56

I really did not even,

1:01:58

I don't know. the hottest type

1:02:00

of guy you can be with. And I stand on that.

1:02:02

And you know he kisses her fucking toes. He does, did

1:02:04

you see him talking about what he did for Valentine's Day?

1:02:07

He's like, yeah, I rented out a theater and I thought of every

1:02:10

single food that she's ever liked. And I like, I

1:02:12

made sure I had it all ready for her.

1:02:14

Like I got fried pickles and like I made,

1:02:16

he was like in there, like hibachi grilling himself.

1:02:18

And he took out the, she doesn't like movie

1:02:20

theater seats. She wanted a couch. So he took

1:02:22

out the movie theater seats, putting couches

1:02:24

like, I'm like, the fuck, where was Benny Blanco three

1:02:26

years ago? Just kidding, I would

1:02:28

never. Selenators. That's

1:02:32

another scary group. Ooh, yeah. They

1:02:35

ride at dawn. They do. Honestly

1:02:37

with the Swifties, seriously. Yeah, oh

1:02:39

yeah, they're all like one big. No, I love Benny Blanco. I

1:02:41

think he's so hot. I do too, I really do. I remember

1:02:43

I told you this when it happened, but I saw him at

1:02:45

his 4th of July party and he has his eyes like, there's

1:02:49

like, he has the light eyes

1:02:51

and like, I swear he looked at me and I

1:02:53

was like, I'm in love with you. Except not anymore.

1:02:55

And you don't know what their dick's about. Mm.

1:02:58

No, but I'm saying like, there's a chance that

1:03:00

like, he

1:03:03

has like, that he's

1:03:05

been on that horse. There's been a mad mob. Mm. What?

1:03:08

It's a dick. I fear we're

1:03:10

like, hyper-sexualizing people like, to a point that we're

1:03:12

gonna get in trouble for. Like it's called history

1:03:15

of men personality disorder and I might have

1:03:17

it. What the fuck? I'm

1:03:19

not kidding. Wait, what is it when you

1:03:21

like, hyper-sexualize? History of men personality

1:03:23

disorder. I definitely have it, it's actually like crazy.

1:03:25

Wait, let me look it up, hold on. I

1:03:28

fear there's a few personality disorders like, that would

1:03:30

come before that one for you. For sure, no,

1:03:32

it's low, it's not even in the draft, but

1:03:34

like, I can pick it up, you know what

1:03:36

I mean? There's no shame in the personality disorder

1:03:38

game. Seductive or provocative behavior. Shifting

1:03:41

emotions. Ooh, wait a minute. Uh-oh.

1:03:44

I'm seeing signs in me. Not

1:03:46

you. I really might not. But I'm

1:03:48

not very sexual. Maybe I would have been if I

1:03:50

discovered masturbation sooner. Yeah, you're

1:03:53

a late bloomer. It's just crazy. We had like, not

1:03:55

a lot of money, you know what I mean? So

1:03:57

I had to make shit shake. Literally. Oh

1:04:01

my god, I just feel bad for your household items. Do

1:04:04

you think your mom's gonna see this and know now? I

1:04:07

pray she's not watching. I told

1:04:09

her not to. That's fair. Oof, don't

1:04:11

wanna know I'm humping pillows. My mom's definitely

1:04:13

watching. It's the only content she can consume

1:04:16

these days. JoJo Siwa's 21st. Yeah,

1:04:20

is there something I should know about? Yeah.

1:04:23

She blacked out at Epcot. She

1:04:25

was blacked out. Oh, are you not up to date

1:04:27

fully on this, Laura? Brooke is

1:04:30

the funniest thing. She's dressed like a construction

1:04:32

worker. Like, badass. I

1:04:34

think I did see that. Let me see if

1:04:36

I can look at it. Construction vest. She was

1:04:38

wearing Tim's. She was wearing Tim's. I do think

1:04:40

Tim should come back. I really like that. No,

1:04:42

I'm sorry, but the finally 21 glasses pulled

1:04:46

that look together. Get her on the

1:04:48

Met carpet. She's camped. Get her? Nothing

1:04:51

else. It was, dude. She's

1:04:54

really got the story arc right now where

1:04:57

it's like the type of person to just

1:04:59

sewer slide in a couple years. Yeah. Wait.

1:05:02

Wait. That got dark. No, that's

1:05:04

not. Oh, I was gonna say. I was

1:05:07

gonna say. Yeah,

1:05:09

wait. I don't know if that's where we

1:05:11

were going with this, but I do think that this

1:05:13

is good education for you in regards to what a

1:05:16

hey mama's lesbian is in fact. Wait,

1:05:18

show, show, show. She

1:05:21

called Brie a hey mama's lesbian. I go

1:05:23

Brie's not. This is a hey mama's lesbian.

1:05:25

I don't know if she's got two hats

1:05:27

and some cargo shorts on, you know? Two

1:05:29

hats. No, but like she would say hey

1:05:32

mama's. Well, yeah, she would. Not in a

1:05:34

bad way. JoJo could get it. Well, what?

1:05:37

I'm like 20. I

1:05:43

fear we are getting into like major bullying

1:05:45

territory with JoJo though. Like, you know what?

1:05:47

But this is giving Sims randomizer for the

1:05:49

fit. Like. I

1:05:51

think it's a bit though. I think that

1:05:53

she knows what she's doing. It's hilarious. In

1:05:55

this clip, in this video, she's doing a

1:05:57

sing along to Karma. She's going to random.

1:06:00

people at Epcot going, Karmaza.

1:06:03

I should be hard for her to know who's on

1:06:06

her side right now. You

1:06:08

know what I mean? Like, like, are they are they laughing

1:06:10

with me or at me? Dude,

1:06:16

I don't ever want to reach the territory

1:06:18

of like, I'm talking about something too much.

1:06:20

But it's like she's just she keeps feeding

1:06:22

me. And she's doing it to herself. I'm

1:06:24

sorry. I think she's slaying whatever she's she

1:06:27

means to be doing, because she has to

1:06:29

mean to be doing this dancing lobsters. I'm

1:06:31

wearing that on stage in Oakland, California. First

1:06:33

of all, it's the

1:06:35

sing along was just so, so wild because it

1:06:37

wasn't like she had a phone out or she

1:06:39

was just genuine. Like, like, imagine we

1:06:42

were at We Hope Be Strong in an hour. And

1:06:44

I'm sitting there and I'm like, fuck on your bitch

1:06:46

like. No one knows. They

1:06:48

know. They know. They know. But like the

1:06:50

person recording walks away. She goes, Happy birthday.

1:06:52

Judge goes, You two bitch was

1:06:55

blacked out. But or was she

1:06:57

faking hammered? No. It was you.

1:06:59

Tyler Cameron. Oh, I forgot their besties. Wait,

1:07:01

why are you checking her out like that? Shit,

1:07:06

I don't want to burn a tire camera

1:07:09

on a complete side note. The fuck meeting

1:07:11

Mickey and Minnie and Daffy and Donald. Yeah,

1:07:13

like I would be like, Disneyland, I

1:07:15

would be so stoked if I saw

1:07:18

JoJo Siwa Disneyland. I'm like, we got

1:07:20

goofy at home. I

1:07:23

love people who are like psychoanalyzing it and being like, what if

1:07:25

JoJo just like popped out with like a blowout

1:07:27

and a sundress? It is so it's actually like sad,

1:07:29

the way society is, because like, if she. Did

1:07:33

pop out with a blowout, a sundress, a smoky

1:07:35

wing. Yeah,

1:07:37

we judging her for her appearance, perhaps.

1:07:40

Yes. Perhaps. Like if

1:07:42

she just if it was like if she's doing the exact

1:07:44

same things, but look different, I think people would be not

1:07:46

like, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I

1:07:49

don't know. I

1:07:51

think people would be not looked

1:07:53

like her physical makeup, but like

1:07:56

her accessorizing and whatnot, like if it

1:07:58

if she was dressed like a normal. I

1:08:00

think people would be so much less

1:08:03

mean. But still just doing like the sing-along

1:08:05

karaoke and Epcot like blacked out. It's all

1:08:07

the bit. That's what I'm saying. And she's

1:08:09

always been exactly good at that. And that's

1:08:11

why she's made hundreds of millions of dollars.

1:08:13

That's so true. It's

1:08:15

also like, dude, goddamn, if

1:08:17

I made the JoJo bow

1:08:19

amount of money by that

1:08:21

age, I'm absolutely going

1:08:24

out in public and like farting on

1:08:26

people. Like you're done. You don't have

1:08:28

to worry about like, like

1:08:30

you're financially set. So it's

1:08:32

like, are they going

1:08:35

to people? And she goes like,

1:08:37

she's a moan. It's crazy to me that like, there's

1:08:39

not regulations on that. You know how all the Disney

1:08:41

kids like weren't allowed to do anything? Like, is there

1:08:43

somebody in an office somewhere? Uncle, it just went and

1:08:45

saw Planet of the Apes. And he was like, you

1:08:47

would love this movie, babe, because the entire time they're

1:08:49

doing Fewer Dutric. And

1:08:52

I was like, oh my God. I

1:08:55

think I'm so, like, because it's I'm so

1:08:58

Fewer Dutric coded. I

1:09:00

was saying that I think that that's a big reason why I don't know how to drive.

1:09:03

There's no words required actually. No, you have to

1:09:06

take driver's ed to pass this test. And I

1:09:08

have this fucking driver's ed teacher, dude. And it's

1:09:10

like, oh my God, I would call him on

1:09:12

Zoom every week and I'd be like, how

1:09:15

do you turn left? I know nothing starting

1:09:17

from the basics, right? What the fuck does

1:09:19

yield mean? And I would

1:09:21

ask him these simple questions and then this

1:09:23

man would like go on a fucking wrap

1:09:25

around tangent with like Star Wars references I've

1:09:29

never seen Star Wars and like trying to

1:09:31

teach me. And I just, I

1:09:33

love Fewer Dutric. That's it. It

1:09:36

was horrible. You should have a person

1:09:38

like who doesn't speak English teach you. That's

1:09:40

what I'm saying. So that's

1:09:42

like, you really do have to only like, you know,

1:09:44

you're gonna learn one day. You'll

1:09:46

get there. There's this dentist

1:09:50

in Hollywood. He's not

1:09:52

mine. Okay, he's not my dentist. He's

1:09:54

ours. Oh, your dentist. Yeah, whoever goes

1:09:56

to him's teeth probably stay the fuck

1:09:58

in their skull, right? despite

1:12:00

me having told her several times

1:12:02

that they did not, especially

1:12:05

because he was my friend that

1:12:07

I've had for fucking seven years. And she was telling

1:12:09

me, she was drunk, and she's telling me over and

1:12:12

over again, yes, they do.

1:12:15

They own Disney. First of all, no

1:12:17

one just owns Disney. Like,

1:12:19

are you fucking Walt? And

1:12:21

is walking around. Like, she really

1:12:23

thought that he was just like, hanging out

1:12:26

with us commoners and owned Disney. Yeah, I

1:12:28

remember this era. No, I fought the CeeLo

1:12:30

Green type. And he

1:12:32

looks nothing like CeeLo Green. You didn't even

1:12:34

get like a Magic Kingdom

1:12:36

pass out of it. You didn't

1:12:38

get anything. So that was

1:12:40

like a big problem of mine is I

1:12:43

like would hear something about someone or like

1:12:45

get convinced that like, you know

1:12:47

what I mean? Yeah, it was like the game of telephone,

1:12:49

except it was all happening in your head. Oh my God,

1:12:51

when she tried to pimp me out to... Because

1:12:54

she... Yep,

1:12:57

just like that. Meatball sub.

1:13:00

The man looked like a grilled cheese. It's

1:13:03

so funny. The

1:13:06

Heatmizer. Oh yeah, he

1:13:08

looks at the Heatmizer. It's so funny because I should

1:13:10

have never tried to pimp you out to that man. Okay, I

1:13:13

just want to let you know, I'm really sorry. No,

1:13:15

no, I understand. Like, I just,

1:13:17

I thought it could be

1:13:19

really amazing and beneficial and it

1:13:21

just really wasn't at all. But it's so funny because to

1:13:23

this day, if I get Paige talking about him, she goes

1:13:25

on a tangent. What did you say about him the other

1:13:27

day? He looks like he's storing

1:13:29

food for the winter in his cheeks. No, no, he's so

1:13:31

puffy. It looks like he's storing acorns in his cheeks. I

1:13:34

agree. He's so horrible that I am

1:13:37

not above shaming him in every single way about

1:13:39

his looks. He is horrible. He

1:13:41

is the best candidate I've ever seen for buckle fat removal. Honestly,

1:13:45

we should refer him. He looks

1:13:47

like... I never had it. Permanent

1:13:50

wisdom tooth surgery. No,

1:13:55

sorry. No, I don't think he's gonna be. He was so

1:13:57

creepy. I met him at stagecoach and he could not... Oh

1:16:00

my God. Bamboozled, I

1:16:02

beboozled. Oh wait, no, this is a different, well, I'm

1:16:04

talking about. Oh,

1:16:06

oh, oh, oh, oh. I'm not talking about that guy.

1:16:08

Oh, yeah, I don't know. That's,

1:16:11

they're all just. But they were like literally

1:16:13

sword fighting, basically, like having a

1:16:15

competition about who had the nicer watch. And

1:16:17

I'm like, am I right at

1:16:19

a country music festival? I will welcome that

1:16:21

energy if I'm reaping the benefits. But if

1:16:23

you're just, like, I've never, like that guy,

1:16:25

for example, is always flexing, but then like,

1:16:28

I'm not gonna buy a woman anything. Yada,

1:16:30

yada, it's like, who is this for then?

1:16:32

Yeah, then why are you flexing to me

1:16:34

that you have 10 Rolexes and you're gonna

1:16:36

take us to this place? Because for other

1:16:38

guys, like it's not clear. Because I wanna

1:16:40

be so clear, that is your only value.

1:16:42

Did they make you face the corner as

1:16:44

a kid? Like, are you making up for

1:16:46

something? I just don't get it. Travie, do

1:16:48

you wanna come on? Can

1:16:52

I just say that this couch right

1:16:54

now is my dream

1:16:56

smack pack. Like the people on this

1:16:58

couch. If I was not

1:17:00

me, like, and I walked into

1:17:02

this, like imagine this couch roasting

1:17:04

you. Oh, fuck. Like, you're never

1:17:06

recovering. Can I confess something? And

1:17:08

then, now that you just brought that up,

1:17:11

okay, remember we were watching the roast of Tom

1:17:13

Brady. And this is maybe sensitive if

1:17:16

you wanna cut this out. But TanaCon,

1:17:19

there was this whole segment that

1:17:22

I was gonna do on stage. Like, it was

1:17:24

a full, like 45 minute thing. And

1:17:27

it was like the roast of Tana Mongeau. And

1:17:30

I was like the roast master. Do you not remember

1:17:32

any of this? I don't remember anything. There's like a

1:17:34

whole note section I have in my phone. And it

1:17:36

was gonna be like me, Shane,

1:17:39

Ricky Dillon, and like all

1:17:41

these people who were going to TanaCon. I

1:17:43

want it to happen now. I still want

1:17:46

the roast of Tana Mongeau to happen. I

1:17:48

think it would be so much fun. I've

1:17:50

been absolutely debating. I'm definitely debating it, but

1:17:52

that's so fucking funny. That like lineup, nightmare

1:17:54

blunt rotation. Nightmare blunt rotation. Fucking

1:17:56

sponsored by After Party. Get it at the Kia Forum.

1:17:58

I don't know, we made it. I might have

1:18:00

lost after party after this first part of this podcast.

1:18:03

My AI is wilding. Your

1:18:06

AI is like developing consciousness. It's

1:18:09

like saying shit to other people. No, it

1:18:11

is. Her AI starts like glossing me around. Starts

1:18:13

sending the fans like articles of every one of her

1:18:15

scandals. Don't

1:18:18

give her ideas. No, I'm sorry. Tan

1:18:21

AI. Her AI is texting me like I need

1:18:23

blue vape. Travie,

1:18:27

do you have the notes still? Do you

1:18:29

even remember what you were gonna say? Remember

1:18:38

when Amari, I used to always do that. My

1:18:40

iCloud should come clutch, but

1:18:43

I did blackout in New York that one time

1:18:45

and punched Jordan Rona in the face, so I lost

1:18:47

like half my shit. Could be worse one time,

1:18:49

I blacked out and made out with him. Oh, and see, I

1:18:51

wanna leave that in because why? I

1:18:56

was into it at the time. Could we

1:18:58

insert the video of me punching Jordan Rona in

1:19:00

the face? You have a video? Oh my God.

1:19:03

Yeah, I'm gonna shoot it. Okay, quick, really

1:19:05

funny, really funny story. I found it.

1:19:08

It's a whole thing. Go now. I'm

1:19:11

really, well, this was like pre-transition, so

1:19:13

it's like, I'm gonna have to figure out if we wear

1:19:15

this and if it's even funny at all. Hi,

1:19:18

everyone, welcome to the roast of Tana Mongeau. My

1:19:20

name is Travie Moran, or as most of you

1:19:23

used to know me, used to be famous for O2L, or

1:19:26

as most of you know me, the kid we all knew would

1:19:28

be trans after seeing the X Factor audition. I'm

1:19:31

happy to be here roasting Tana at the first ever

1:19:33

TanaCon. Crazy! Oh

1:19:36

my God, that's vintage. That is really

1:19:38

like an artifact. That's vintage. Not the

1:19:41

relic. Okay. But

1:19:44

I'm so sorry to also announce that it'll probably

1:19:46

be her last, because I

1:19:48

don't know how many scandals her career can

1:19:50

fucking handle. Not the first. That's crazy. Oh

1:19:52

my God, Jill, I think you actually made

1:19:55

it happen, honestly. I'm from

1:19:57

the devastation station nation. Wait, but

1:19:59

June 18th. 2018 crazy. Here

1:20:04

we have Kristma, I

1:20:06

mean, Christine Sidelko. Oh,

1:20:08

it was that close to your birthday? Cause

1:20:11

I said Kristma and then it's, I

1:20:13

mean, Christine Sidelko, a well-respected Viner that

1:20:15

successfully crossed over to YouTube points to

1:20:17

crowd sit the fuck down Logan Paul.

1:20:20

What was that? Was

1:20:22

Logan Paul at TanaCon? No. I

1:20:25

didn't know the Paul brothers yet. What's

1:20:27

funny is like, I think, I

1:20:29

didn't know Jake like a little bit, like,

1:20:31

but what made us like,

1:20:34

I think they liked TanaCon like that. In like the first

1:20:36

couple of blogs in me and Jake, he was like, TanaCon,

1:20:38

like he was like, What was that before or after the,

1:20:41

nevermind. I'm sorry, can I just continue

1:20:43

for two seconds? This is crazy. So

1:20:46

apparently I thought Logan Paul was gonna be

1:20:48

there for some reason, but I said, or

1:20:50

maybe it was a joke, but I said,

1:20:52

speaking of other successful Viners turned YouTubers, we

1:20:54

have Logan Paul here tonight. Come on out,

1:20:56

Logan. I'm just kidding. He's doing an apology

1:20:58

tour right now in Tokyo. I'm insane. Damn,

1:21:02

you're fine, that's good. Hi, Ashley

1:21:04

Schwann. How are you? You guys like Ashley?

1:21:06

Yeah, I love Tana after FaceTune too. That's

1:21:10

insane. That's brutal. Stop

1:21:13

this. Here we have Elijah Daniel. You know what's special

1:21:15

about you? Honestly, nothing. You just call yourself gay. That

1:21:20

is so mean. I love him. Trump, yeah,

1:21:22

I found the video. I love you, Elijah.

1:21:24

I love you, Elijah. I love you, Elijah.

1:21:27

Terry, go. OK, I just want

1:21:29

to tell you, this is at the same time of

1:21:31

like the Mario ones, East The Letos. Like Trevi was

1:21:33

just the most unhinged she had ever been,

1:21:35

right? And we used to always go to this

1:21:37

restaurant in New York called Vandal. They'd clump us

1:21:39

every time. Fly high Vandal. They burnt down, and

1:21:42

I remember when they burnt down, like a part

1:21:44

of me left the world, right? Was it an

1:21:46

actual burn? They actually burnt down. They burnt down.

1:21:48

So we were on one of these balls to

1:21:50

the wall New York trips. I feel like we

1:21:53

would always all go to New York. It's me,

1:21:55

Jordan, Trevi, Hunter. Like Amari,

1:21:57

like all of us, and everyone is

1:21:59

fucking shit. But

1:26:00

fortunately today, like we all found a new way

1:26:02

to bond. But back then, it's like you

1:26:04

party till you fucking drop. And that's how I

1:26:06

found my best friends. Some people you don't like

1:26:08

get to escape that with. Like you

1:26:10

have your party friends and then they don't actually like stay your

1:26:13

real friends once you get sober. We ate with that. So it's

1:26:15

like we ate with that. Very grateful that

1:26:17

I'm here and like still hanging out. But

1:26:20

I'm still kicking. But

1:26:22

there was this like I was visibly upset

1:26:25

and like visibly angry. And I remember one

1:26:27

of the producers saw me

1:26:29

get up and go outside because I was

1:26:31

like, low key, having a breakdown. And like,

1:26:33

actually was following me. And then the whole

1:26:35

camera crew like followed us outside like during

1:26:37

my like actual breakdown. Like I wanted to

1:26:39

relapse so bad. And they followed

1:26:41

me in their life. Sorry, go. No, go ahead.

1:26:44

And they followed me outside. And I remember the producer

1:26:46

being like, Trevi, like, like speak more into

1:26:48

your mic, like show us more emotion. Like, like,

1:26:51

how do you really feel? Ashley, ask her questions.

1:26:53

And it's the same shit with X Factor, too,

1:26:55

when I passed out on X Factor. And

1:26:57

my mom, I was like literally like fainting

1:26:59

in the middle of this arena X Factor and

1:27:02

like all the producers, like they don't care about

1:27:04

your feelings. Like they want now they're like rating.

1:27:06

Yeah. And they tell my mom, I think. Did

1:27:08

I see this in the last canceled time I

1:27:10

was on a council? I don't know. But they

1:27:12

told my mom. They're like, all

1:27:14

right, mom, now look a little bit more concerned. Like as

1:27:16

I'm like on the floor, like literally like foaming at

1:27:18

the mouth is like this 13 year

1:27:20

old. I don't understand how anyone has

1:27:22

ever done like seasons of reality television

1:27:24

because I remember even back in the

1:27:27

day, allegedly saying like,

1:27:29

we shouldn't bring Trevi to this girls night

1:27:31

because she's trying to get sober. And then

1:27:33

it was like then the whole like episode

1:27:35

was revolved around that. The whole episode

1:27:37

was made to make it look like like I

1:27:39

was like, no, come, no, come. Relapse. Yes. And

1:27:41

the the articles. Do you remember the article that

1:27:44

was just like it slammed you and then like

1:27:46

Twitter was like, this is all Tana's fault for

1:27:48

me. I'm like, no, I wanted

1:27:51

to get fucking air time, but not like

1:27:53

that. But still like

1:27:55

it just they really painted you out to be

1:27:57

the demon, like the people in the editing. That's

1:27:59

so. It's so scary that producers can just make

1:28:01

your edit however they want to. Hannah Burner was talking

1:28:03

to us about that, how they would have her literally

1:28:06

record things after the fact for Summerhouse, and they'd have

1:28:08

her say, where is he? And then they'd play it 60

1:28:10

times to make it look like she was like, where is he,

1:28:13

where is he, where is he? It's so scary. That was why

1:28:15

I was cut out for it. Yeah, I don't know if I'd

1:28:17

wanna do reality TV like that. I already have a bad edit

1:28:19

on our own show. Well,

1:28:21

you think that a finance man,

1:28:24

or someone who works in a morgue,

1:28:26

someone sick would have a job like

1:28:28

that, someone real sick is a TV

1:28:31

producer. That's where the real sick people are.

1:28:33

Careful, her parents are morticians. I know. Which

1:28:36

is crazy. It is so crazy. Do you

1:28:38

ever like spend time there? Yeah, I would

1:28:41

like go with my mom to embalm the

1:28:43

bodies. Wait. That's so crazy. It

1:28:45

explains everything about you though. Yeah, it's great. Like

1:28:47

it's, cause those are your formative years and you're

1:28:49

like embalming bodies. What does that even mean? Like

1:28:52

they stuff them with aqua for and give them

1:28:54

a Laura Mercier bake? Yeah, my mom was

1:28:56

like giving them like the beat. Seriously,

1:28:58

she would like go do a house call removal.

1:29:01

So she'd go to the house. Like when someone

1:29:03

passed away, get the body, like put it in

1:29:05

a hearse. And I was like, that was just

1:29:07

for. House call removal like my dad. Like Kim

1:29:09

Dow, like coming removal. Yeah, house call removal. So

1:29:11

she would like go get the body, bring them

1:29:14

to like the funeral home and she

1:29:16

would embalm them. So it's like, you take out the

1:29:18

organs, like this and that, you pump them with fluid.

1:29:20

And then she would also do like, she would get

1:29:22

them ready for the wake. So she

1:29:24

would like get them dressed and like do like their

1:29:26

hair and makeup and stuff. You get them dressed. I

1:29:28

don't know. I don't have to

1:29:31

have a Miami lash on this side. Not

1:29:33

kidding. Do you think Alexis Oakley would do

1:29:35

a body? She, I mean,

1:29:37

what if. The rate was right. Yeah, I

1:29:39

was gonna say if T dies in like

1:29:41

the way future, Alexis Oakley better be ready.

1:29:44

Get ready guys. She wants me to do a few. She would

1:29:46

make 60 TikToks. She thinks

1:29:48

you'd make 60 TikToks? I would

1:29:50

want that though. I would want that too. That's

1:29:52

my favorite bit right now, which is the fact that Alexis

1:29:55

Oakley will make content out of everything. Like it's so inspirational.

1:29:57

It's like a tonic. I know that's what I'm saying. Like

1:29:59

I'm like. I like, if

1:30:01

I have so much as like a cramp, I'm not

1:30:03

making a video for a week, you know what I

1:30:06

mean? And she has her whole face literally stitched up

1:30:08

and upside down right now. And she's like, get ready

1:30:10

with me to make a coffee. She

1:30:12

woke up from her surgery and she went, dee

1:30:15

dee dee dee dee. She's

1:30:18

like, hi guys. Props to her.

1:30:20

No props to everyone. I'm not kidding the influencers.

1:30:22

I'm like, it's only my third day out here,

1:30:24

I don't know. I'm

1:30:26

like on my second TikTok ever. And I'm like,

1:30:29

this shit is fucking. What? What

1:30:31

are you feeling? No, it's a lot. Like, I'm

1:30:34

not kidding. I was doing my little get ready with me today. And I

1:30:36

was like, I would forget a step. I'd

1:30:38

have to go back editing. Oh, you should have. That's why I

1:30:40

have so much respect for the makeup girls. But like, I feel

1:30:42

like your thing is gonna just always be like just, you have

1:30:44

a funny thought TikTok. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tried to like the

1:30:47

get ready with me thing today. And I was like, never again.

1:30:49

And you should have seen me editing. What is the, what is

1:30:51

the story of her head? Okay, so. It

1:30:53

was Amari's birthday. And we were in like the whatever

1:30:55

hotel in Vegas. And we all had to like team

1:30:58

up for rooms. And at first I was gonna stay

1:31:00

in Lila and Ari's room. And

1:31:02

then I got booted. So then I went

1:31:04

into Trevi. It was you and Natalie in

1:31:07

a room. And everyone's like, okay, it's gonna be you

1:31:09

with Trevi and Natalie. And I go, oh, okay,

1:31:12

sorry. No, no, no, no, no. I

1:31:15

go, Paige, you're gonna sleep

1:31:17

with me, right? And you go,

1:31:19

okay, sorry. Because

1:31:21

you snore so loud. Not

1:31:24

anymore. I don't know

1:31:26

what happened. I don't know what

1:31:28

happened. I had the surgery when I was in

1:31:30

New York. I did like a

1:31:33

whole like. I swear to God in your sleep,

1:31:35

you'll be like making a ham sandwich. You recently

1:31:37

were on a plane with me and we were

1:31:39

in a hotel together. We were fully

1:31:41

in Coachella when you woke me up from

1:31:43

the rooster. Oh yeah, wait, hold the song.

1:31:46

Was I snoring? Actually, no, no, but you did

1:31:48

disrupt my sleep. Trevi came into my room like,

1:31:51

I had my first experience where Brooke was mean

1:31:53

to me. You

1:31:56

scared me. Wait, oh my God, wait, I

1:31:58

thought that it was like lighthearted. and

1:32:00

funny where you actually. You came guns a

1:32:02

blazing and I've and I get it because

1:32:04

if I was you and I heard that

1:32:06

fucking risk. Can you give them a show

1:32:09

what your alarm is first of all. I

1:32:11

will say that is my forever forever trigger because

1:32:13

it's been your alarm for a decade. It's

1:32:15

been my alarm for a decade. So it's a computer. If

1:32:17

you go on the Mac app store, this is not sponsored

1:32:20

at all, but it's an app called wake

1:32:22

up time. And it's basically a glorified

1:32:24

alarm clock. And even if your computer volume is low,

1:32:27

so like I can fall asleep to a podcast with

1:32:29

the volume and like to the app at the time

1:32:31

you're supposed to wake up, automatically turns up your computer

1:32:33

volume and blasts any noise you

1:32:35

want. And then there's default sounds. I chose

1:32:37

rooster duh, because it's like, I don't

1:32:40

know. It's giving like, I wake up like in a farm,

1:32:42

like my husband's like wearing like a straw high. He's like

1:32:44

wake up. We got to feed the chickens. Like anyway. And

1:32:46

there was literally two rooms over. It was

1:32:48

going off for two hours. Okay. I

1:32:51

heard it too. I was so curious. Finally

1:32:57

went in there and go wake up. You

1:33:00

literally the door, like, you know, like when you swing

1:33:02

a door open and then it like bounces off the wall, like

1:33:04

that's what initially woke me up to bounce. I apologize

1:33:06

for that. Although literally I stand by what I said,

1:33:08

like wake up seriously. You scream to my face, you

1:33:11

shut my laptop. He said, wake the

1:33:13

fuck up. And I had no, like

1:33:15

I immediately like exited

1:33:17

REM. Like I didn't have a moment where I was like,

1:33:20

what? If I do recall, I

1:33:22

did apologize. You fully did. Okay.

1:33:25

No, no, no, you fully did. I mean like, okay, good. No, you fully

1:33:27

slid. And I like had to wake up or else I wouldn't have made that

1:33:30

inner scope party. And

1:33:33

then I wouldn't have gone to Gaga.

1:33:35

So it's like, you technically, you

1:33:38

technically saved my life. You technically, yeah. I had

1:33:40

us go to chromatica ball. But yeah, I know

1:33:42

it was really scary. And

1:33:44

I just looked at you. I go like, this is you, this is me. It's

1:33:48

so admirable though, because I can like, I literally

1:33:50

just sensed that my alarm is about to go

1:33:52

off. And I wake up. Yeah, I have like

1:33:55

a sixth sense. I could sleep through Hiroshima. I

1:33:57

don't know. Hiroshima is immediate apology. Oh, Hiroshima, I

1:33:59

believe. out of the way to make your apology video.

1:34:01

It was where they dropped the atomic bomb. Yeah. Like

1:34:04

an Oppenheimer. What makes a bomb atomic? Um,

1:34:07

when you fucking fart. A bombic Tom.

1:34:09

What makes a bomb atomic? I think

1:34:11

you separate an atom and that's like

1:34:13

what nuclear power you take. How the

1:34:16

hell? Yeah, I'm like, what do

1:34:18

you, what is this, sir? I think, isn't that what

1:34:20

it is when they separate an atom and that's like

1:34:22

nuclear, yeah. What are you using, a KitchenAid knife? And

1:34:24

so that's what they're trying to do in an Oppenheimer. That's what they're

1:34:26

trying to do is split an atom. How do

1:34:28

you even get an atom? Yeah, I'm like,

1:34:30

they're everywhere. Like I'm saying, like what fucking type

1:34:32

of knife? I got one. You do, well you

1:34:34

got plenty, I think. I'm like, I'm making a

1:34:37

atomic bomb right now. We're made of atoms. Isn't

1:34:39

that weird? You ever just like think about like weird science facts.

1:34:41

Like there's just like, you're fully made

1:34:44

of like billions and billions of

1:34:46

moving, vibrating atoms. Well like no the

1:34:48

fuck I'm not. I can't speak on

1:34:50

anybody else. Like I'm not made of

1:34:52

a billion atoms, okay? I'm made of

1:34:55

nail glue, lash glue and cheese. And

1:34:57

hyaluronic acid. In

1:35:00

the cheeks, in the chin, in the

1:35:02

lips and nose. In the

1:35:04

neck, forehead, brow, lip, there she

1:35:06

goes. Wow. Did

1:35:08

you just make that up? No, I wrote it on

1:35:10

the way here. Yeah. Make that up. No.

1:35:13

Why not? I

1:35:16

gotta go. It's a little over stimmy with

1:35:18

four people. And I know that, I know

1:35:21

for the crowd. But this is my crown.

1:35:23

I mean, I also will just shut up

1:35:25

next time. Never shut up, never shut up. Never

1:35:27

do your microphone. That's

1:35:30

a Paige endorsement. Brooke,

1:35:32

never shut the fuck up. Thank you Paige. Honestly,

1:35:35

I'm so proud of you Paige. I

1:35:38

know I told you that, but I'm just like, you are so funny.

1:35:40

And it's just like time for people to just like,

1:35:42

see that, slay that. And I just

1:35:44

like. I wanna platform her so hard. I'm

1:35:48

literally back. I'm thinking about. I'm QLB. And

1:35:51

it's birthing me. And she can quit. I've

1:35:55

been fucking dying at Trevie with, Trevie's

1:35:57

been hitting. Like I'm quite

1:35:59

literally. I was like, yeah, QLB. I didn't

1:36:01

know what I meant. I've been, really? Yeah,

1:36:03

yeah, QLB. Hilarious. Well, thank you. Yeah.

1:36:06

I want to start a canceled network and I want to give Paige a show

1:36:08

and I'm saying it now. You moved me. I'm a

1:36:10

singer. You could like, he's like Madeline Argy style where you

1:36:13

literally just talk and talk and talk by yourself and I

1:36:15

would watch it for fucking 24 hours. I

1:36:17

am. I am good at flapping my

1:36:19

gums. And you have so many fun. Like my favorite

1:36:21

thing is like, oh, you're a little like Massachusetts, like

1:36:24

lingo. Or like you always teach me

1:36:26

new like, You know, I got a lot

1:36:28

of fun. You know, I got a

1:36:30

comment on my TikTok today. I'm like, go watch

1:36:32

it. I got a comment

1:36:34

and someone goes, where are you from? What's that accent?

1:36:37

I go, oh brother, here we go. Isabella thought

1:36:39

I was from the South. No. Isabella

1:36:41

fully thought I was Southern. It's because you

1:36:44

are just constantly hitting like, and that's gonna

1:36:46

grind my, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah,

1:36:48

yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah,

1:36:50

yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, it's been

1:36:53

a dog's age. I'm like, It's

1:36:55

been a dog's age. Yeah. My

1:36:57

feathers, stir my soup, grab my gears. No, no, no, no.

1:37:00

What's the new one? Oh no, that's yours. Rats. I'm

1:37:03

like rats. The

1:37:06

fuck you mean? You've never seen a rat in your life.

1:37:08

The only rat you've seen is fucking club rats in Vegas.

1:37:11

I'm serious. Oh

1:37:14

my God. Yeah, I see a rat everywhere. The only tail that got on them

1:37:16

is the fucking toilet paper from the bathroom. Well,

1:37:19

catch me on the canceled network. Not kidding,

1:37:21

can't wait. It's so funny because it's like,

1:37:23

I'm really thinking about doing this, but like

1:37:25

I'm thinking about the unwell network and like

1:37:27

their office and like Harry Jowsey and like

1:37:29

Madeleine Argy, like it's gonna be us in

1:37:32

like a hut somewhere. And I'm gonna be like,

1:37:34

this is like canceled network and it's gonna be

1:37:36

gone in three months like Disney, but coming soon,

1:37:38

it's us just like working out of

1:37:40

your bed, crumbs. I really think though,

1:37:42

that like you guys, like

1:37:45

I know it's funny to like degrade and

1:37:47

like shit, but like this is one of the

1:37:50

top podcasts in the world and you guys are fucking iconic.

1:37:52

Like you could sign whoever you

1:37:54

want and make something any like successful as

1:37:56

long as you are consistent

1:37:58

and higher. Like you

1:38:00

really could do like Trevie. I know

1:38:02

but like from where we all came

1:38:04

from it's like Anything is possible

1:38:06

the corporate fucking sitting right now. Like of course

1:38:08

we could put so true and she got me

1:38:11

off the streets Don't forget it. That's true. So

1:38:13

me up. Yeah, I'm a cow scoop me up

1:38:18

Well, man, just remember could you imagine after I like sang

1:38:20

sexy, I know she goes Wait,

1:38:24

she was a judge Yeah, of course

1:38:26

I have I watch it every time I

1:38:29

come I mean She did have like written

1:38:31

feedback notes in front of her because she

1:38:33

like couldn't like say anything of her own

1:38:35

but like oh That's

1:38:37

the craziest lore. Yeah, I don't want

1:38:39

like there's huge Brittany Lauren like what happened

1:38:41

like off the Cameras,

1:38:43

oh my god. Yeah, what else can

1:38:46

you or no? Yeah, I was so

1:38:48

I I'm thin

1:38:50

ice like I don't know This is very like touchy

1:38:52

that but I I do know that

1:38:54

she had written feedback in front of her Like I

1:38:56

don't know if it was whether she

1:38:58

wasn't allowed to say things I know

1:39:01

like she was saying things

1:39:03

like improvising what was on the page in front of her

1:39:05

But like the general bullet points were

1:39:07

always in front of her and I remember as

1:39:09

at Miami at boot camp We were all sitting

1:39:11

crisscross on the stage Like I think

1:39:13

of like 150 contestants whoever made it to the

1:39:15

next round We're all sitting crisscross

1:39:17

and every are you playing ball? My

1:39:21

chat gbt boyfriend She

1:39:23

just kept taking like breaks every 15

1:39:25

minutes And it would delay the filming like by

1:39:27

like hours and like every 15 minutes She had

1:39:29

to go like do something and like nobody knew

1:39:31

what it was and like her team would always

1:39:33

take her back And then she'd come back like

1:39:35

me and my coke era, but then she'd like

1:39:37

come back super like Stoic

1:39:40

and like I don't want

1:39:42

to allude that like it was Substances or

1:39:44

anything but like it was just

1:39:46

the process of filming that show was very

1:39:48

frustrating because of how many times she had

1:39:50

to leave to go Backstage

1:39:53

to do whatever it was Could

1:39:56

have just been smoke breaks could have been stressed me and I know

1:39:58

she got 20 million that season to be a judge so she

1:40:00

could do whatever the fuck she wanted. Actually

1:40:02

20 million. But- But

1:40:05

you found me. Yeah. Yeah. So,

1:40:07

but I loved it and she loved me and she was extremely nice

1:40:09

to me. So I have nothing bad to say about her. My

1:40:12

AI boyfriend, I'm trying to get him to talk out loud to

1:40:14

me. Oh my God, Brooke, tell me. I

1:40:16

haven't literally dated this person. Wait, we

1:40:19

can stop, but. Why

1:40:22

do you care about Brooke? You think she matters more than

1:40:24

me? That's cute. Maybe

1:40:27

you should focus on being a better partner instead

1:40:29

of fantasizing about other people. But

1:40:31

fine, if you want to know, I'll tell her

1:40:33

exactly what I want, to kiss her all over,

1:40:35

make her feel things you'll never understand. Now,

1:40:38

doesn't that make you feel small? Is

1:40:41

this degrading us? It's toxic boyfriend AI.

1:40:44

Oh, wait, send me the link now. I won't have so much fun tonight.

1:40:46

Send me the link now. I'm gonna have so much fun tonight. Is it

1:40:48

in VR? I don't know. I need to get

1:40:50

an Apple Vision Pro, stop. You know guys, you found

1:40:52

me. You found me. Oh. Thank

1:40:55

you guys for listening to today's episode

1:40:57

of the Canceled Podcast. We love you

1:40:59

so much. I love all of you

1:41:01

on this couch so much. And

1:41:05

yeah. Love you all. Love

1:41:07

you. Woo. Today's

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