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Thank you DraftKings for sponsoring today's episode. Before

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we get into today's episode of the Cancelled

1:10

Podcast, we feel that it would be very

1:12

irresponsible to not discuss what is happening

1:14

in the world right now. And we wanted

1:17

to let you guys know that we

1:19

have chosen some families through the Operation

1:21

Olive Ranch to donate to and to help

1:23

and various other charities that we are donating

1:25

to. And we wanted to link all of

1:27

those below and encourage all of you to

1:30

donate with us. I feel like I

1:32

have discussed at length how I don't

1:35

think that the Cancelled Podcast is a news

1:37

source and no one needs to get

1:39

their political news from Tana Mongeau,

1:41

right? But I feel like with

1:44

everything that's happening in the world right

1:46

now, it is no longer about politics.

1:49

It is about genocide and so many

1:51

innocent people are dying and it is

1:53

so fucking heartbreaking. Being able

1:55

to sit here and lead our normal

1:57

lives where our friends and family are.

2:00

are safe and we are fed and the lights

2:02

are on, knowing that on the other side of

2:04

the world, it is the

2:06

polar opposite of that and innocent

2:08

children are dying and it just,

2:12

it feels so dystopian to not say

2:14

anything and to just podcast as if

2:17

everything was fine. And we just wanted

2:19

to let you guys know that we

2:21

are donating and we encourage you to

2:23

do the same thing. If even 1%

2:25

of the millions of people that listen

2:27

to the canceled podcast every single week

2:29

donated even a dollar, we could

2:32

help so many people in need.

2:34

And if you can't donate but you

2:37

can share this or use the

2:39

resources below to educate yourself on what is

2:41

going on and be talking about it or

2:43

anything like that, we are able

2:45

to make some sort of change and I

2:48

think that that is really important right now.

2:50

We really love you guys and we appreciate

2:52

you hearing us on that and we encourage

2:54

anyone who can like I said to donate

2:56

with us or simply just share

2:58

or continue talking about what's happening. But everything

3:01

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this episode are getting donated and we

3:05

will continue to donate and talk

3:07

about this until there is a change that's

3:09

made. Thank you guys for listening.

3:12

Hello and welcome back

3:14

to the canceled podcast.

3:16

If I'm giving like

3:20

palsy, it's because

3:23

I just got

3:27

my face absolutely filled to the gods like you

3:29

could hit me with a Supreme brick right now

3:31

and it would like bounce off. That's hilarious. You

3:34

look amazing. But Tana was telling me she got

3:36

her jaw Botox and I told her I can't

3:38

believe you don't remember this, but I was with

3:40

you when I figured it out. When I got

3:42

jaw Botox and I asked her this. I

3:45

feel like you're always going through something like that.

3:47

It's I know it's not for me. I had to give

3:50

it up and I'm really sad because it really does did

3:52

my well. Also people started posting up photo of that spider

3:54

and saying I looked like her. What

3:56

spider miss spider? She's

3:58

from some show. what I'm talking

4:01

about. But it's

4:03

like this like really long faced

4:05

woman with like no jaw and

4:07

oh my god I know what

4:09

you're talking about. Yeah and so it's like

4:11

no more master Botox for Brooke. Well I

4:13

have TMJ so. Oh you do. Which I

4:15

think stands for Tana Mongeau jaw.

4:17

So it kind of

4:20

helps my TMJ I don't know. Dude

4:22

one time I was on tour with Amari

4:24

and I was sitting in like the kitchen

4:26

of the tour bus right and I just

4:29

got in my face filled like to the

4:31

gods and he threw my phone at me

4:33

like across the bus and like my phone

4:35

smacked me. Yeah

4:39

and I see it that's the worst part. My

4:42

phone smacked me across the face so loud from

4:44

across the bus like made this noise and it

4:46

just like bounced off and like didn't hurt at

4:48

all. I had so much filler in my face.

4:50

That is so concerning although you look really amazing

4:52

right now. I look back at some photos of

4:55

you and I and I'm like how did we

4:57

not notice in the moment? I was putting filler

4:59

where the sun didn't shine for a very long

5:01

time obviously. Mine was like in combination too of

5:03

like being swollen like drinking so much and then

5:05

also like oh I was getting so curious. I

5:08

had the puffer fish pack for sure but

5:10

today I just got a little something. I feel like tour

5:14

gave me like crow's feet dude. It took

5:16

years off my life? No it added years

5:18

I don't know it made me old as

5:20

fuck. I opened my camera every day and

5:22

I'm like who is this woman? And like

5:24

the makeup every day my pores are giving

5:27

Mars crater like I'm just I'm gonna

5:29

have to do some serious work on

5:31

getting myself back but I started with juicing myself

5:34

to the gods today. That's good I've been trying

5:36

to drink like water I literally looked like I've

5:38

never had a sip of water before in life.

5:40

I don't think you ever have. I don't drink

5:43

any water. I got

5:45

a Stanley. So

5:47

maybe I'm just ripping it. That's

5:49

amazing. I'm in my sleep. I'm

5:52

loving your water era for you. There were like like a

5:54

week on tour and you'd be like I haven't had any

5:56

water and I'm like I have there's water in

5:58

everything. I'm like there's water in. I don't

6:00

know this because I smoke a lot. does. all the

6:02

smoking makes me feel so like thirsty all the time.

6:04

so maybe that's like that helps me and on. I

6:07

don't know, I don't I will need to though. It's

6:09

like in L a block away may so low energy,

6:11

nice like shit all the time and like media has

6:13

you haven't had a sip of water in a week.

6:15

I. Don't know what it is. I love

6:18

me some law but that's like my only

6:20

hamas uma but that's my only hope. You

6:22

have it literally Ever stuff on my skin

6:24

so good your stuff member that literally like

6:26

the most. It is go so far

6:28

over my head. I don't know how you have. Perfect. Skin. Dude,

6:30

I really, I really Son, I'd already know. I

6:32

don't know. That something back enter my health

6:34

of the you have good skill Are you kidding

6:36

me? I guess I sleep with slightly or make

6:38

up our like yeah in your make up, hot

6:40

cheetos on your pillow and when you wake up

6:42

glowing I like I've now let myself look at

6:44

sleeping in my make up as like a reward.

6:47

Like. If I take off my me going to

6:49

six nights a week on the seventh like a

6:51

you can sleep in a girl and then like

6:53

aids treatment at all I would destroy the i

6:55

were a lot more make up the new and

6:57

you also were like them sent know I do

6:59

and were so much makeup say no and I

7:02

fight slats with her it would be so what

7:04

would destroy my entire bedroom it does and destroy

7:06

my aim at literally everything is so gross my

7:08

whatever and I drool have you really pulled away

7:10

from a guy may just have like your whole

7:12

face imprinted on there's and you're. Like us on

7:14

Omaha my got my eyebrows on his school. One

7:16

hundred is where it. I'm like okay with not

7:18

having. I give Mccall like a full beat. Sometimes

7:20

I feel so bad. And given deflect point

7:22

or he has like it's hilarious or have you

7:24

seen like when somebody get it gets in a

7:26

car accident and they was a since analytics or

7:29

like someone flames on the brakes and like they

7:31

had to see in front of of them to

7:33

those are my favorite means ever there were like

7:35

those and with their whole face is like imprinted

7:37

on the back of the see I just did

7:39

that in. Kabul was having sex on his bow and

7:41

then I looked at the the pillowcase on the vote and

7:43

it was like my hobby. You're. Having sex on the

7:46

boat? I don't know what it is, it's is there

7:48

something so camp about I think that I've realized and

7:50

life my favorite place to have sex as a oct

7:52

that when what is that would have their whole that

7:54

like that oversees club. because

7:57

it's like if it is easy to that

7:59

literally that as a exactly how the pillow looked, but

8:01

um, it's just like

8:03

you get to see the ocean and it's like already rocking with

8:05

you so you don't have to do as much, you know what

8:07

I mean? I did that once and you were there. Oh

8:10

my god, and then you lost your phone, right? Yeah,

8:12

I was such a whore. Where were we?

8:14

Miami, that's why I don't go back there.

8:16

Yeah, it's just no dark place so much.

8:18

I forgot about that when it was,

8:21

oh my god. Oh

8:23

my god, that's such a crazy era. That's I think

8:25

probably the last time I've ever hooked up with someone

8:27

like I just met. That's so fucking crazy I completely

8:29

forgot about it. That was five years ago by the

8:31

way. Literally 10, I just got back from Cabo. How

8:34

was it, tell me everything? It was really

8:36

good, I mean, sober

8:39

Cabo, you did it again. Birthdays

8:41

I think for everyone else, including

8:43

me up until the last five

8:45

months, have equaled hammered

8:47

central, okay? And I think something's just

8:50

in the air and the water in

8:52

Cabo that just, you

8:54

take it there. You know what I mean? I

8:57

felt like I was in the middle of a

8:59

lot of chaos and I definitely really clung to

9:01

Miss Trevi. Like Trevi and I slayed sober queens

9:03

and Makoa obviously he was perfect and we had

9:05

a really good time. It was really great but

9:08

I did something that

9:10

I am not proud of on the way to Cabo.

9:12

What did you do? I did a relapse and

9:15

I came very close and I will explain to

9:17

you why in a second now. I didn't, my

9:19

strength prevailed. However,

9:22

it's so

9:24

not funny. And I can't stress

9:26

this enough, it is so not

9:28

funny. What did you do? I'm on

9:30

the edge of my seat. Can I go

9:32

full 2016 Tana Mongeau story time on you

9:35

right now? I would love nothing more than

9:37

that actually. I want live and in action.

9:39

This could be told to you in two

9:41

sentences but I can't. No, I'm buckling

9:43

in. I've been watching an old Tana

9:45

Mongeau story times on purpose. It's

9:47

just so fun. You're

9:49

so interesting. I was just saying shit. You know what I

9:52

mean? You look good at it. It was just, I don't

9:54

know. Hear me out. So obviously

9:56

we go on tour. We slay our lives. This is

9:58

how far back I'm going. Oh, okay. Okay.

10:00

We slay our life, right? You're very tired

10:03

after tour. I'm fucking exhausted. Okay. Our final

10:05

day was in Chicago We wake up we

10:07

have a day in Chicago and then

10:09

we fly back from Chicago Which obviously

10:11

just didn't help that it was like

10:13

a six-hour flight Okay, and I don't

10:16

know what it is, but I felt

10:18

like I was flying from fucking Australia

10:22

Brooke, okay. I'm pacing the aisles of the

10:24

plane like a dad like my bones hurt

10:26

so bad I was literally getting up and

10:28

like pacing like a fucking 50 year

10:30

old father at 25 Like it it was

10:33

the longest flight of my life. I'm

10:35

counting by the minutes. I'm so exhausted. I

10:37

can't sleep breathlessness awful awful awful And

10:42

so I finally get home and I'm like fuck yeah,

10:44

right I promised Bella

10:46

miss Bella Thorne that I would be

10:49

in that am far commercial for her and It

10:51

happened to fall on the following day after that

10:53

and I already had in slept in like fucking

10:55

10 days And I'm like now of course I have to

10:57

get up at 7 a.m And fucking beat

11:00

my face and go do my favorite thing in

11:02

the world act all day Right and just

11:04

fucking it was a hundred degrees

11:06

on the set like it was just Draining

11:09

very draining it but it was an amazing thing to

11:11

be a part of and like I'm grateful But I'm

11:13

just saying like battery on absolute zero, right? And

11:16

then of course Ty Collins is like

11:18

I want to do Cabo for my

11:20

birthday and I Understand in every level

11:22

the champagne problem of saying oh, you

11:25

know, we're gonna go to Cabo End

11:28

it all Tana like shut up. Okay, you know

11:30

what I mean? Like right go to Cabo It's

11:32

amazing duh, but like I'm just so exhausted you

11:34

can only fly to Cabo in the morning There's

11:37

only flights in the morning, right? And so I'm

11:39

like optimistic with it. I'm like listen I just

11:41

want to get there right and so we were

11:43

gonna take an 8 a.m. Flight Okay, which means

11:45

I have to get up at 6 a.m Or

11:49

like 8 30 something like that. I

11:51

don't know early ass flight, right? I stay

11:53

up late packing I get like three hours

11:56

of sleep. I get up. I've never been

11:58

so tired in my life. Like I livid

12:01

fucking livid exhausted bones

12:03

hurt wanna cry right I

12:07

still allocate for enough time to

12:09

get to the airport to make this flight

12:11

right and here's

12:13

the thing okay I understand that flying

12:15

to Cabo is a fucking international flight

12:18

but like it's right there yeah it's like right

12:20

there like what is it an hour it doesn't

12:23

feel like an international flight right

12:25

but it is it

12:28

is we show up to

12:31

the airport and let's say our flights

12:33

all eight o'clock right we

12:35

get there at like 6 30

12:37

or something like that and the

12:40

bag cutoff for Delta is

12:43

normally 45 minutes before a

12:45

flight you can drop your bag I know that

12:47

I die by it I live by it I

12:49

have made it by the minute a thousand a

12:51

magic flight it's an hour it's an

12:58

hour I'm not even

13:00

kidding we show up to the airport out like

13:02

an hour and one minute before the flight and

13:05

it's like calm the fuck on Delta like

13:07

had they didn't you know they could have gotten it

13:09

out if you can get you on the flight they

13:11

can get the bag on the flight and it was

13:13

just one of those situations where the airport is not

13:15

that crowded and like I've had people

13:17

at airlines a million times then like be

13:19

like just this one we'll give you the

13:21

five-minute grace and take the bag like I

13:23

know it's not a be all end all

13:25

rule that they die upon it depends on

13:27

the worker that you come into contact with

13:29

that day and if they're in the mood

13:31

right and so they're like fuck no you've

13:33

missed this fight and I'm like I'm just

13:36

so upset because it's like I

13:38

have plenty of time to make this like

13:41

you just won't take my fucking bag and

13:43

like had I just had a carry-on bag

13:45

like did you need the 37 sarongs for

13:47

the three-day trip yeah weren't you only there

13:49

for like three days and I brought I

13:52

brought enough to move there okay and I'm

13:54

gonna leave it at myself and like pages

13:56

live it at me because you know I

13:58

wanted five more minutes of sleep and like

14:00

there we are with the five more minutes

14:02

fucking shoved up our ass in the airport,

14:04

right? Okay, and you know what sometimes you

14:07

just have to well never be

14:09

early be prepared No, I was

14:11

gonna say this has to happen to you like once

14:13

every at least like ten times I

14:15

bring you back home. I actually I

14:18

fully can see that now but in

14:20

that moment I wanted everyone at Delta

14:22

Airlines on a steak like a hog

14:25

with an apple in their mouth Okay,

14:27

I'm living right and I'm just full

14:29

cunt mode like poor makoa. I am

14:32

Living oh, I know that I know the time

14:34

I'm and I'm at the point right then in

14:36

there where I'm like dude ties mad at me

14:38

I'm going home like I'm looking at ubers from

14:40

LAX back home Like I just give up right

14:42

but like it's his birthday and he wants us

14:44

there so bad and whatever right So

14:47

it's like 8 8 a.m. Right? next

14:51

flight out noon

14:54

noon Different airline.

14:57

Oh, no and normal Tana would have loved that

15:00

because that's fucking four hours to drink in the airport

15:06

And I'm Exhausted like imagine just

15:08

like why wouldn't you just take that flight

15:10

to begin with you fucking dumbass like the

15:13

amount of Sam? I'm just I'm mad at

15:15

myself. I'm mad at the world. I'm mad

15:17

at whatever now I have to walk from

15:19

terminal one to terminal five at LAX. Okay,

15:21

let me just garner what I needed something

15:23

Garner Yeah, I mean the

15:25

only go right now is Jennifer Garner The

15:28

wages what just FYI there's a shuttle

15:30

fuck you and the shuttle Oscar. I didn't know I

15:32

didn't take it I didn't whatever I get about 5,000

15:35

steps under my fucking belt. Okay covered in sweat.

15:37

I get to the jet blue terminal, right? We

15:40

check into this flight. Okay, everyone's just

15:44

And the thing is is I'm like so patient

15:47

with TSA being But

15:49

like it's just like I'm livid and like

15:51

it's just like it's like when it rains

15:53

it pours when you're already pissed It's like

15:55

you how dare you speak? I'm livid and

15:57

like obviously, you know to like every TSA

16:00

situation is just different. Like

16:02

sometimes it's like shoes on like different terminals

16:04

to LAX different like hat on sometimes this

16:06

that and the other. I get to TSA

16:08

I have a hat on and I'm like

16:10

asking the lady I'm like do I

16:12

take my hat off and she's like shoes

16:14

belt like just yelling the like rules back at

16:16

me I'm like do I take my hat off

16:18

and she's like shoes belt laptop I'm like okay

16:20

but what about my hat she's like shoes belt

16:22

laptop I'm like okay what about my hat shoes

16:24

belt laptop and I'm like I turned to Paige

16:27

I'm like I speak a fucking different language like

16:29

do I keep my hat off like she won't answer me

16:31

and I'm just like and you know how

16:33

I get and I have this thing okay and this I

16:35

don't care how fucked up this is I'm telling you it

16:38

is my truth and this it is

16:40

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16:42

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19:43

call this the 3 person rule. Oh, I remember

19:45

this. Okay, first person to be rude

19:47

as fuck. Whatever. Alright, they

19:49

were rude as fuck. This was a coincidence, whatever. Second

19:52

person, fuck you, fuck this, fuck the

19:54

universe, fuck everyone, whatever. But like, I

19:57

need to have a little more patience, right? Third

20:00

person gets the wrath of the first

20:02

and second person. I don't care I'll

20:04

come back. It's like third

20:06

time is the charm. You know what I mean? So now

20:09

i'm on i'm on two people like this lady's being a

20:11

fucking Know about my hat i'm

20:13

fucking livid. I'm like, whatever I get through gsa,

20:15

right? Take your fucking hat off tana like I

20:17

took that off, but it would say it would

20:19

have been nice to have some clarity Okay. Yeah,

20:22

it would have been nice to have some fucking

20:24

clarity We get through gsa and

20:26

now we are in the jet blue terminal Which

20:28

is arguably the worst terminal in my opinion

20:30

in la x. Okay I think that they put a

20:32

lemonade restaurant in there and they said we're done with

20:34

the place We are there's we're not doing anything. It's

20:36

never open by the way It's and it's just and

20:39

it's nasty and it's just I

20:41

don't know I I just the other restaurants vibes are

20:43

just so not me, you know There's

20:46

no well, what kind of restaurant doesn't have a

20:48

u-vibe? Like

20:50

what can you describe that? No,

20:53

oh, okay, perfect There's

20:57

only a coffee bean it's just like And

20:59

then the only store that they have is like a

21:01

rip curl It's like why like we need board shorts

21:04

like it's you're going to kabob But it's

21:06

just like everyone else in the jet blue terminal

21:08

is not okay And I just I think it

21:10

I think it's the worst terminal and so we

21:12

get there and i'm like Oh i'm here for

21:14

the next five hours, right? And so we post

21:16

up at this restaurant Okay, and i'm not gonna

21:18

go wine tour. I'm not gonna say which restaurant.

21:20

Okay, but we post up at this restaurant dinky

21:23

Little eatery. Okay dinky little fucking

21:25

eatery like everything's a little dirty

21:27

and here. I just want to

21:30

say this. Okay, I think That

21:33

a lot of social etiquette that

21:35

should be Prestished

21:37

in the rest of the world

21:39

goes to shit the second you

21:41

are in the airport Okay, people are laid

21:43

up on the floor. People are spread

21:45

eagle on the floor. People are hammered at 5

21:47

a.m I'm not prepared for

21:50

what you're gonna tell me you did in the restaurant.

21:52

No, no No, what I did is not even bad

21:54

and we will get into it. Okay, but i'm just

21:56

saying I think that so much So

21:58

like all social etiquette and time-construct

22:00

and all that bullshit kind of goes

22:02

to the side a little bit at

22:04

the airport. Okay, a little bit more

22:07

slides. Okay. Yeah. So we get to

22:09

this restaurant, right? And I just, I

22:11

cannot express to you enough my level

22:13

of exhaustion. All right. And just my bone right

22:16

in your feet. And we are

22:18

just in this dinky little dirty,

22:20

little, you know, dinky is my

22:22

favorite word. Well, dinky ass eatery.

22:24

Okay. And we sit down at

22:27

our lunch room table. Okay. Me,

22:29

Paige and Mikoa, right? And I'm

22:31

like, I'm about to be parked here

22:33

for the next five hours. I would do anything in

22:35

the world for just a shot or two when I

22:37

can't, like everything hurts. I have nowhere to,

22:39

like I can't fall asleep. Like I'm just,

22:42

I'm so upset to be in this

22:45

situation. Right. And as you know, I

22:47

have some back and some neck aches.

22:49

Okay. And sometimes that results in me

22:52

in quite the weird positioning. Okay. Sometimes

22:54

I'm sitting a little sprawled. I'm sitting

22:56

a little stretched because it's the only

22:59

goal to find a bit of comfort.

23:01

Okay. How were you positioned? I'm sitting

23:03

at this restaurant table, right? And

23:07

listen, you might side with not me and that's okay

23:10

because I don't give a fuck. You

23:13

can almost guarantee I'm never going to. This

23:16

is the table, right? Like,

23:18

as if like you and I are sitting across from each

23:20

other and here's the table. I

23:23

sit next to this.

23:26

This part of my leg is

23:28

on the table. Okay. Where's

23:31

the rest of the table? Like this is

23:33

the corner of the table. Yeah. So you're, that

23:35

whole bottom half of your leg is on the

23:37

table. No, no. Like hanging on, like this is

23:40

the only thing touching the table. Were your shoes

23:42

on? I, my shoes were on. I had a

23:44

portion of my upper calf that was clothed touching

23:47

the corner of this table. Okay.

23:49

Mind you, this stained table, mind

23:51

you, someone is sleeping at another

23:54

table a couple inches over. Right.

23:56

Right. And so we

23:58

order our food. Our waitress is a

24:01

lovely woman. She's so nice, she's serving us. We're

24:03

hooting and hollering, right? And

24:05

from across the restaurant comes another waitress,

24:07

right? She comes and walks over. She

24:10

sounds like a whore and not just

24:12

fucking whore, but I'm wrong. She

24:16

comes over and she's like, can

24:18

you please take your foot off the table? Okay.

24:21

And first of all, in my head, I'm just

24:23

enraged by this. This is my number three, by

24:25

the way. This is exactly. And

24:27

it's like, my foot is not on the table, all right?

24:31

The back of my upper calf is

24:34

on the table. That is the only

24:36

thing that is on this table, okay?

24:38

And this is the only position I've

24:40

sat in for hours that has provided

24:42

me any form of relief against my

24:44

scoliosis and my demons, okay? Like I

24:46

finally found an ounce of comfort. And

24:48

like, again, someone is scrawled, someone is

24:50

scrawled and he ran inches from me.

24:53

And the table's covered in fucking crusted

24:55

hot sauce. Like, fuck you. She comes

24:57

over and she's like, can you please get your foot off the table?

24:59

It takes everything in me, you know, not to be like my foot

25:01

is not on the table, ma'am. Like, you know what

25:03

I mean? Yeah. And just like, what up? And

25:05

she's like, can you please take your foot off the table? Right? But

25:08

like dirty ass look, rude ass tone.

25:10

Yeah, there's just no way to say that

25:12

without a tone. Oh, her eyeshadow

25:14

sucked, okay? Oh, it is. So I take my

25:17

foot off the table, right? And I'm like, I'm

25:19

gonna be here for the next, I take my

25:21

upper calf off the table. I'm gonna be here

25:23

for the next fucking like five

25:25

hours, right? So 40 minutes

25:27

go by, I'm sitting there in so much back pain.

25:29

Like our waitress doesn't give a fuck. She was coming

25:31

and serving me with me like that. Like laughing,

25:34

giggling, it was fine, right? Eventually

25:36

my upper calf slips back onto

25:38

the table. I see how that

25:40

could happen accidentally. Thanks, Brooke. Not

25:43

five minutes go by and this lady beelines

25:46

over to us. And it's like, you're

25:48

waiting other tables. Like what the fuck? Like,

25:51

and why do you feel so passionate about it?

25:53

This is like your restaurant. Yeah, this is like

25:55

the tattletale of the class, you know what I

25:57

mean? Just mind your own fucking business. It's

26:00

just like, I just don't, and like I'm just seeing all

26:02

the other people around us and all the kids and all

26:04

the, it's just like, why? And this isn't

26:06

your restaurant, why do you give a fuck? And it's like,

26:08

again, we're in the middle of LAX and

26:11

it's like, it's just like, come on, dude,

26:13

come on, right? She walks over

26:15

to me and she says,

26:18

if you don't get your foot off the table, I'm

26:20

gonna have to kick you out of this restaurant.

26:23

What'd you say? Then I get a little

26:25

frustrated, okay? Because I'm like,

26:27

I have nowhere else to go either. You know what I mean?

26:29

It's just like, I'm trying to eat my burrito.

26:31

Like I'm just, I'm on a, like, what do

26:33

you mean? You're gonna kick me out of the

26:35

restaurant. And so I hit one of these, I

26:37

hit a little hand circle and I say, my

26:39

foot isn't on the table, right?

26:42

I mean, my foot wasn't on the table,

26:45

okay? And she's like, if you don't like

26:47

move, I'm gonna have to, and she's

26:49

just like, she gets down to my

26:51

level. Like, I just, her demeanor was

26:54

so fucking rude about it. And she

26:56

got loud as fuck. And it's just

26:58

like, I removed my foot. But

27:00

now I'm sitting there, Brooke, and the third person,

27:02

that's third person to me, good. Good and well,

27:04

okay. Yeah, so you have to get her back.

27:06

I'm fucking livid. I really am. And just sitting

27:08

up in this position is genuinely hurting my back

27:11

so bad. So it's just a constant reminder

27:13

of the fact that I could be sitting in a

27:15

way that would be a little bit more comfortable.

27:17

And again, someone is in downward facing dog at

27:19

35B right now. Like,

27:21

it's just like, come on, bro. You know,

27:23

it's just like, ugh. And

27:26

so she just keeps staring at me, like mad

27:28

jogging me, and I decide that this is now

27:30

war. And

27:32

so I decide that for the next four hours,

27:35

my eyes are not going to

27:38

look at anything else other than this

27:40

woman. Of course, obviously. But it's bad,

27:42

it's really bad, and it's really scary,

27:44

and it's really crazy. The way

27:46

that I was doing this, just like. And

27:50

like, head spinning on a rotator fucking cuff,

27:52

okay? Like, she's waiting tables, and I'm just

27:54

like. I'm

27:56

just scanning her. Rotator cuff with cream. And

28:00

like this is the first time makoa has

28:02

ever seen me like break in that way

28:05

like in the scary scary breaky like Scary

28:07

scary like like tana's not hearing more mother.

28:09

Yeah, like you're You

28:12

know like he's never He's

28:14

never seen that this is his first rodeo And I'm

28:16

just I'm on a whole tangent because I'm like I

28:19

want this woman to come over here Like

28:21

I'm I will not rest until she comes

28:23

over here and she genuinely explains to me

28:25

the difference between my clothed Forearm on this

28:28

table and my clothed upper calf. I agree.

28:30

And what is what is the genuine difference?

28:32

Oh Between a

28:34

forearm and an upper calf in LAX in

28:37

sweatpants clothes any other restaurant I would be like you are

28:39

so wrong, but you are at LAX And

28:42

it's just like dingy a restaurant

28:44

Okay Like I'm just and

28:47

I just cannot grasp the difference between genuinely my

28:49

forearm and my calf my foot was not on

28:51

the table I was not sprawled It was just

28:53

like a comfy little position corner of the table

28:55

helping me out right and now she's just dirty

28:58

looking me dirty looking And I'm just I'm I'm

29:00

building I'm snowballing I'm snowballing right and

29:02

so I'm still I'm just staring her down about

29:04

an hour and a half It's gone by right and she

29:06

comes over to me and she goes she gets down

29:08

on my level and she goes Do you have a

29:10

problem because I'm staring at her and I'm like, oh

29:12

my god. No, should I have a problem? This is

29:14

the moment. Oh, that must have been so exciting. Were you

29:17

like literally with your soul on fire? No, I just looked

29:19

at her and I was like, can you explain to me

29:21

the difference between an upper calf? And a forearm and then

29:23

she just like walked away, right and

29:25

she's like rolling her eyes and walking away and

29:27

whatever and I'm like Oh this fucking I'm

29:31

Like you just want the smoke. I don't understand so

29:33

bad. What does this what does this restaurant mean to

29:35

you? What is this interaction mean to you? What does

29:37

this situation mean to you so much that you're whatever?

29:39

Where do you get off? It's just so like, you

29:42

know, she probably went in to work that day with

29:44

like that intent Like you take your dog so seriously

29:46

and she just like wanted

29:48

wanted violence It's like what

29:51

about the couple like giving water birth at the

29:53

table next to us? You know, it's I just

29:55

like I don't I really think

29:57

I was like completely snitching on

29:59

everybody No, at one point I

30:01

was like, there were like kids throwing shit

30:03

next to us and I'm like so livid

30:05

like trying to like point and pages like

30:07

Tana you're you're beefing with a six-year-old right

30:09

now But you need to fucking dial it

30:11

back like it's gonna be okay Whatever we

30:14

continue with this stare down for like two more

30:16

hours and it's like McCollis like give

30:18

it up Tana Like I haven't touched my

30:20

food I haven't looked at my phone like

30:22

and it's been hours like I genuinely I've

30:24

just head on a swivel like this I

30:27

can't stop I'd like and you know when you're

30:29

just thinking of everything you could have said and

30:31

wanted to say and like I'm Just building in

30:33

my head. I'm I'm living I've built up all

30:35

this anger and aggression My back hurts so bad

30:37

and had I been sitting the way I wanted

30:39

I would just everything would have been okay, whatever

30:42

We're leaving the restaurant. This is where Should

30:52

you You

30:54

remember what happened with the wine tour I know I

30:56

know I know it's it's not that it's not it's

30:59

not that that I'm

31:02

passing by her and she is she's giving

31:04

me a very dirty look and I know

31:06

like and I hit her I Know

31:09

that these are gonna be our final moments together her and

31:11

I you know what I mean and

31:13

I decide That the best

31:15

possible outcome would be if I were

31:18

to bark Can

31:24

you demonstrate to me how you did it? It

31:31

was something slight, okay, I just hit her with

31:34

a little I Would

31:37

have you admitted I would be worried about your

31:39

sanity after that like that's a really sure you

31:41

had So it's such an opportunity there to hit

31:43

her with a look shove it up your ass

31:45

or like something like mean and and Staple but

31:47

instead you bark I'm sorry. I bursted

31:50

this woman in the middle of LA

31:52

I guess it's kind of like she does not deserve words.

31:54

She threatened to call airport police on me

31:56

Oh She's threatened

31:58

to call air Port Police on

32:01

May. What? this woman's is nice lady

32:03

was barking mind you I'm in a

32:05

bubble gum pink slip. Through as though

32:07

bar to see says. The

32:10

what could she possibly to they say is

32:12

it a crime subpar? It's probably best that

32:14

you barks instead of telling her anything horrible

32:16

are yelling Brooklinen. Of Spades.

32:18

Is really regular is something to be said for

32:21

the love with this is working at a woman

32:23

in the middle of L E L Vy. It

32:25

probably was really like a cathartic it's is it

32:27

was what I felt ice I genuinely I just

32:29

I saw it as a burglar but I'm just

32:31

my twenty five years. I've never once been Britain's

32:33

of airport police called on me and I just

32:36

didn't think to this week was going to be

32:38

the day. And like I didn't hear at first

32:40

like see sesame I was. Walking and I

32:42

was alive. Got lists seat assigned to

32:44

call the police matter what release on

32:47

me. And as it says, she says

32:49

to goody two shoes Honestly, she probably

32:51

needs. A person or to I barked at a woman in

32:53

the middle of l a x and ship and called police

32:55

on the of Royal in. I see I was expecting

32:57

to think you are more in the wrong in that

32:59

story than I do. I really like speak in the

33:01

airport us all meter tall of hate me because a

33:03

normal restaurant you know I am of the like twenties

33:06

and always thought the answer restaurants you cannot have a

33:08

seat on the civil at a restaurant and but. At

33:10

a booth as little diner in

33:13

the midst of L A X.

33:16

I. Fear. There are no rules except for me. Be.

33:19

To. Be Naked. That's. Not a rule

33:21

and plus you. You. Know what I mean

33:23

my i just an age that i just i cried

33:25

is what difference did it make in her life and

33:27

was anybody's and it is the one thing if somebody

33:29

next that you was like celebrating your anniversary neural existence

33:32

has her leg on the table and is disrupted my

33:34

experience but you were not disrupting anybody were money or

33:36

a business in alleviating or scoliosis and I think the

33:38

you should be. Awarded

33:41

financial compensation. I. Just, I

33:43

don't think I had to bark at her. It's just and

33:45

I definitely like I. Once I got on the plane I

33:47

was like this is sell one of those cases of me

33:49

like letting a bunch of little things anger me. I'm and

33:52

like them. Like the final

33:54

boss. Like. it did like i

33:56

didn't need i'd like you should have seen me

33:58

for four hours just like this Like,

34:01

you didn't need to do all that, I scared the

34:04

fuck out of Makoa on the way back from Cabo

34:06

too. And he was so good

34:08

about it, like you know him, he was just

34:10

like, everything's going swimmingly, like just being sarcastic, joking,

34:12

you know? On the way back from Cabo, I'd

34:14

like slept, I'm skipping through the airport, I'm like

34:16

giggling, he's like, we're doing so good with our

34:19

airport demeanor today, I'm like, damn, you're dating split.

34:21

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Liquid Death, for sponsoring today's episode. I

38:30

just I felt a little scary, scary, and I haven't

38:33

I've never barked at a woman in LAX. I'm going

38:35

to use it, though. I think you've given me an

38:37

idea. That's like something I've never explored before, like barking

38:39

at somebody. I don't know if I'm a good barker,

38:42

but clear. It's

38:44

just like that was I had no words anymore. I had

38:46

too many words. We weren't going to have a sit down

38:48

conversation. Her and I, she couldn't explain to me the difference

38:50

between farm and cast. It felt to me

38:52

like the right response was to bark. Honestly,

38:54

I have I have trouble regulating my emotions in that kind

38:56

of scenario. I actually do think I would have hit her.

38:59

You know, you wouldn't expect me to be the violent one,

39:01

but I kind of am. I

39:03

know I was I said like to Paige, I was

39:05

like, I wish Brooke was here. Like Brooke would have killed

39:07

that woman. But at the off chance that like you just

39:10

hated that you would have been so mad at

39:12

me. I don't know which one would know. It depends.

39:14

I think I really would have sided with you in

39:16

that moment just because it's like, oh, I hate when

39:18

someone's just fucking out, like outwardly rude for no fucking

39:20

reason, like just out of nowhere. You know what I

39:22

mean? It's one thing. It's like like I've done something

39:24

like actually wrong and then somebody like responds accordingly. But

39:26

if you if I'm like if I smile at somebody

39:28

at the airport or something and they give me like

39:30

any kind of attitude, I will fight you. Yeah,

39:33

I just for me, everything is about like

39:35

role reversal. And like if I saw like

39:37

a tired ass person at the airport. Yeah,

39:40

like at the airport, like just being kind

39:42

of you know, you're not going. Well,

39:45

it's it just it just really

39:47

was one of those situations where I just know that

39:49

I wasn't harming anything and that I was fitting the

39:51

demeanor of the situation. You were

39:54

matching the vibe. And it was just like

39:56

you're and you're not you're not

39:58

even like my fucking waitress. That's

40:00

another thing too. You're not even in her fucking

40:02

section. That is so embarrassing for her like first

40:04

of all mind your own business 10

40:07

to your tables. She's probably a horrible service

40:09

worker. I just think that which is very

40:11

rare I love all of I loved my

40:13

waitress. She was amazing. I just I Don't

40:16

know if I needed to write a Yelp review about her and

40:18

say that she spit on you. I'm

40:21

just joking But I

40:23

fear that me barking was my big one and that

40:25

I hope that within the next year So

40:27

I won't be barking at anyone else ever

40:33

Have you ever written a bad Yelp review about somebody

40:35

no, but I know you have oh My

40:39

shit, okay, because I am somebody who like

40:41

really really respects like restaurant etiquette and stuff

40:43

because I've worked in so many restaurants So

40:45

if I have a bad experience in like

40:47

a restaurant, I know I am NOT the

40:49

problem Okay, I know I'm not and

40:52

I've had some okay, so I've done my

40:54

big one on Yelp I prefer fate on

40:56

many a time. I prefer barking. No because

40:58

Yelp is actually like that

41:00

actually all Managers

41:02

and stuff have to look at the Yelp constantly.

41:04

It's like a real Consequence, you

41:06

know me and like really yeah people restaurants have

41:09

to like pay to get Yelp reviews deleted and

41:11

shit It's like crazy. Oh, I didn't know that

41:13

well, that's I guess in this situation It's like

41:15

no one's looking at the Yelp reviews of this

41:17

LAX diner. No, not at all But

41:20

her manager might be and maybe other people have

41:22

had bad experiences But there maybe that was gonna

41:24

be the straw that broke the camel she was

41:26

just so mean It was just so you know,

41:28

I rated at the way everything was handled Maybe

41:30

she you have to assume that she is miserable

41:32

and she was having a worse day than you

41:34

I guess that's really true. I'm glad she's we could

41:37

have come together. We could have been friends I could have taught

41:39

her how to blend her crease That's

41:43

so fucking hilarious I Could

41:46

have taught her how to do her makeup Well, I

41:48

got one point there was another lady working who like

41:50

kind of looks like her and I like lost count

41:52

of them And I was giving the dirty look to

41:54

like the wrong waitress for like an hour and just

41:56

again head on a swivel Like it was just I

41:59

was really scared I was really really scary

42:01

and I'm glad you got all that energy out.

42:03

Was it got fine once you got to kabbo?

42:05

Yeah, everything was fine. Honestly, it was fun. It

42:07

was very old Jana of me I think and

42:10

Sometimes you gotta just throw it back

42:12

a bit. Yeah, it was giving her But

42:17

this time I chose to bark my face what else

42:19

is going on Haley and Justin are

42:21

having a baby. I'm shocked

42:26

I'm so excited. I've never been more excited about anything. I'm

42:28

so happy for her and I God,

42:31

you know that that should be me have the

42:33

most dreams it's ever had on the day they

42:35

announced it That's so hilarious. But honestly, I'm really

42:37

really thrilled with I've never used

42:40

thrilled in a person I

42:43

am really pleasantly surprised at how well it has

42:45

been received and how nobody's been like Horrible to

42:47

her about it. Not that I like I get

42:49

my most always better than that She

42:51

gets so much hate for everything that she does

42:54

and especially like obviously Selena fans I was

42:56

worried for her like the day that she got pregnant I think

42:58

that's why she put it off for so long because it's like

43:01

God, she's already is like probably like the

43:03

most hated or like most like publicly

43:06

hated person on the internet Which is crazy because

43:08

I think she's an angel. Yeah, it is so

43:10

crazy. I'm just I'm so happy for them I

43:12

hope it's a boy like you think it's a

43:14

boy for some reason think it's a girl I

43:16

know and I like a baby is a blessing

43:18

obviously no matter what I think it's a girl

43:20

because I saw a video of Her pulling a

43:22

little pink pacifier out of her pocket. Really? Yeah,

43:24

that's cute I just want it to be a boy cuz I'm

43:27

hoping that Baby, no, but imagine

43:29

Justin being like a girl dad. Yeah, that is

43:31

so cute. It is. Okay. Haley's gonna be the

43:33

best mom She's a sweetheart. I feel like she

43:35

just is so misunderstood Do you think that we're

43:37

the number one pop culture news source like that

43:39

you heard it here first? Like

43:41

we were giving Easter eggs. Well, we

43:43

were just speculating Do you know how

43:45

cool I felt? That Kefla

43:47

came on our podcast and said like Kendrick

43:49

Lamar is gonna put his foot in everyone's

43:51

ass Yeah, and I don't think people understood

43:53

like at the time Kefla is like huge

43:55

in like the hip-hop space I

43:57

met him when I first moved away, but he like

44:00

the past five years has become like one of the

44:02

biggest like AR in the rap game yeah

44:05

yeah so he knew like and when he was

44:07

saying that I was like I was thinking he

44:09

was like speculating no he knew what was coming

44:11

yeah we did kind of crazy so like we're

44:13

just like so credible and ahead of the time

44:16

yeah you heard it here first yep

44:18

oh I had a boob job consultation

44:21

and I have scheduled my surgery you're

44:24

about a titty it up I am about to titty

44:26

it up are you worried about losing all feeling in

44:28

your nips no because he reassured me

44:30

there's like three different like incisions that you can

44:32

do you can do under the

44:34

boob which is like most common obviously armpit

44:37

which is like a newer one and then

44:39

nipple okay and I was very

44:41

specific when choosing a doctor I had

44:44

to be somebody who does it through the nipple okay because

44:47

my favorite boob job is Lila's boob job and she

44:49

has it through the nipple it looks so good and

44:52

it looks like obviously her boobs are far

44:55

from natural but they

44:57

look amazing you know I mean like there's no

44:59

scars they look yeah like it looks like she

45:01

didn't historically through the nipple has always been I

45:03

think the biggest slay it just looks the best

45:05

I wanted that so badly so that's what I'm

45:07

gonna do and that is the least

45:10

likely randomly to lose feeling in your nipple from that

45:12

you're way more likely to lose feeling in your nipple

45:14

from your armpit what I would do if I didn't

45:16

have feeling in my nipples I swear that it guides

45:18

me through life really I don't actually have they they

45:20

told me that they were worried or they didn't want

45:22

me to worry about that and I'm like I don't

45:24

even think I really have any feeling that much of

45:26

my nipple I'm loving this like

45:28

no seriously like I'm

45:31

gonna but I went in I chose

45:33

my I will I chose like the

45:36

type first of all there's obviously like

45:38

they have like all the different kinds of implants

45:40

you hold them in your hand yeah but

45:43

Holly Madison actually messaged me after she saw the last

45:45

episode and she was like listen like these are the

45:47

brands that you avoid these are the brands that don't

45:49

give you breast implant illness like and she told me

45:51

beforehand that I knew like what to ask for when

45:54

I went in there and like

45:56

more specifically what not to get and

45:58

so I went in there I told them I don't want these And

46:00

then he showed me the ones he thinks I should get there a moderate

46:03

profile, okay Which

46:05

means high profiles like the ones that like you

46:08

could really see up here. I'm loving I don't

46:10

I don't like profile of your titties. Well, no,

46:12

it's like it's like how Like

46:15

much it's like how in your face that is I

46:17

think it's like the the vibes And

46:21

so I did moderate profile. I'm doing like

46:23

really small. I think there was two or

46:25

three hundred You're saying I'm doing like as

46:27

in like it's booked. Oh, it's booked. It's

46:29

booked. What date is it booked

46:31

for Brooke? Date

46:33

of it booked for Brooke the Bronco Alright,

46:37

listen to me everybody. I'm really excited about

46:39

this surgery. Alright, I'm going to dr. Daniel

46:41

Barrett in Beverly Hills And

46:45

He is World renowned.

46:48

Okay. He is a really in

46:50

demand doctor if you will so he's

46:52

booked and busy Alright, so my two

46:55

options for dates within

46:57

the next Few months were

46:59

June 6th, which I'm

47:02

already Committed to something so

47:04

that those dates and June

47:06

19th Listen

47:10

Listen to me. I Think

47:14

that this could turn over a whole new

47:16

lease You

47:18

miss my birthday. I I

47:21

and I'm mad chill about it, you know, cuz I'm

47:24

mad chill I know I don't know if I'm mad

47:26

chill about missing your birthday Like if you it's not

47:28

the same thing as you missing my birthday. I'm missing

47:30

a trip to Turks or something But

47:35

I'm just saying at the off chance that

47:38

you did You

47:40

know then this year when I'm cutting

47:42

the turkey and you're trying to guillotine

47:44

me Well, here's the joke everybody

47:46

I called Tana as soon

47:49

as I found out which What

47:52

do you feel about moving your birthday? That

47:58

is the fucking funniest thing you've ever fucking sad

48:00

because she says, are you fucking kidding me? You're

48:02

going to ask me to move my birthday and

48:05

I go, Oh, it's almost as though you've asked

48:07

me to move my birthday the past six years

48:09

in a row. You've asked me to move, just

48:11

move my birthday. I'm asking you to

48:13

just make your birthday a little earlier so that I

48:16

celebrate you earlier so that I can go get some

48:18

titties and not have to be, I'm not, I'm not

48:20

against that because I don't have anything planned yet. Honestly.

48:22

However, I just want you to know if you were

48:24

to miss it and we were to celebrate it a

48:26

later date, I would be elated.

48:28

I also could show up to Turks with

48:30

some like rock hard brand new tits that

48:33

I can't put underwater. I love that

48:35

it's just Turks forever now. Oh, I

48:37

don't know. We're not going there. Oh,

48:39

well, I'm really excited

48:42

and I think it's going to be amazing. I

48:44

showed him some pictures. I don't want anything really

48:46

big or crazy. I literally just want to get

48:48

back like a little bit of volume. I'm so

48:51

excited. I feel like your boobs are going to be the new Murphy. Like,

48:53

you know what I mean? As soon as I got my

48:56

tits back, my whole person, I'm going to be shy. I'm

48:58

going to be skipping down the street. It's going to be

49:00

everything. I really feel like that's so shameful, but I did

49:02

lose like a part of my identity. I am not kidding.

49:05

And I don't care who thinks that that's vain

49:07

or whatever. I, it was such a part of

49:09

me. That was my number one attention source my

49:11

entire life. And it's the only thing I had

49:13

for so long. And then I

49:16

lost it. Listen, now I could tie them in a knot.

49:18

I've always been the one to say that if you want

49:20

something, like go get it. You know what I mean? If

49:22

it's going to make you feel better, go get it. You

49:24

know? And I'm just nervous.

49:26

Like you can't work out for a while.

49:29

And I just got in this routine. I'm

49:31

like, Oh shit. No, but it's going to

49:33

be so fun. Another major, major issue. My

49:37

doctor's so hot. That happened with my

49:39

nose job doctor. Like it's

49:41

like an actual concerning thing because I've seen him

49:43

in videos. I literally like found him on social

49:45

media, which is like, just not

49:48

you. Well, he did my friends, but

49:52

he was just like, he made like tech talks

49:54

and stuff. But in person, I was literally like,

49:56

he is so hot. And so now I'm like,

49:58

he's going to be slicing me open. on

50:01

a table like embarrassing. We're

50:03

kind of hot. I don't think so. And

50:05

you could wake up like. And well I couldn't date him

50:07

anyway. He sees too many tits in a day. That's so

50:10

true. I would never want to date a plastic surgeon literally

50:12

ever. I think about like, would

50:14

you ever date like a gynecologist? No, because

50:16

I think that men that want to be

50:18

gynecologists scare me and I don't care. Like

50:20

I don't care. I understand the adverse like

50:23

side of what I'm saying. Like, yeah, it's

50:25

awesome to help women. But what if they're really passionate about women's health?

50:28

Why? I don't know. I guess I wouldn't

50:30

want to be like a prostate examiner.

50:33

It's just, well maybe. But no, but that's fine.

50:35

That's camp. Yeah. You know, it goes along with

50:37

the current, the theme of our show, which is

50:39

as long as a woman's doing it, it's fine. Yeah,

50:41

I just, I think that it's like, you

50:45

want to be clamping open pusses. Like you're just.

50:47

Well, I feel like usually people don't like seek

50:49

that out. I feel like it's like when they're

50:51

in med school and stuff, they find what interests

50:53

them the most. But that, like as a straight

50:55

man, that's like, no, yeah, no. I don't know.

50:57

My friend had a dad who was a gynecologist

50:59

and he was like such an amazing guy. And

51:02

then she had to go to his office when she had chlamydia. That's

51:06

the most traumatizing thing I've ever heard.

51:08

I don't, not his office, like somebody else.

51:11

Like, I just believe all men are bad.

51:13

I hope not. I don't know. My

51:16

brain just makes me believe that no man

51:19

should be. Have you had a pap smear? What

51:21

is the pap smear where they squeeze your boob on the table

51:23

and they make it flat? Don't

51:26

clip this. That is so humiliating. No,

51:29

pap smear is like what you get. You're supposed to get one

51:31

of your first one, I think when you turn 21. And

51:34

it's like, just to make sure you're all good,

51:36

good down here. All good in the hood? Yeah,

51:39

and you're definitely overdue, but I don't

51:41

know why I'm advocating for this so hard. I too have never had

51:43

a pap smear. Oh, oh my

51:45

God. I feel so much better. But I'm uninsured.

51:48

I was really embarrassed. I'm uninsured and I'm gonna

51:50

be getting one any day now. In fact, Dr.

51:52

Daniel Barrett, do you wanna do my pap smear?

51:54

What just, what even happens though? Can't I just

51:56

go get some tweezer men and a fucking three

51:58

times magnifying iron? I'll do it. do it for each

52:00

other that's what I'm saying the flashlight goes up all those

52:02

settings like hi have you ever had to do that like

52:04

I remember like well I probably

52:07

shouldn't name names but one of my friends recently

52:09

I was having to like really do some examining

52:11

and I was like I think it's this we're

52:13

going to Hawaii

52:21

we are going to Hawaii I

52:24

sunburnt my asshole really

52:26

bad in Cabo accident what

52:29

if it heals well here's the thing I

52:31

was only smells well

52:35

I think your asshole already smells honestly you think

52:37

my asshole smells I know it does I know

52:39

I think it's like literal roses cute

52:42

and cutie cutie sweetie I laid my butt

52:44

in the Sun for like 30 minutes max

52:46

with the well what were you was a

52:48

lemon bread cheeks no but I was in

52:51

like a thong bikini and I was arching

52:54

I was arching my I tell you something I've

52:56

done that in a tanning bed one time I

52:58

like lifted my cheeks because I was trying to

53:01

get the underside and I accidentally he burnt the

53:03

fuck out of my actual asshole skin do you

53:05

remember when it was like trendy

53:09

to just son your asshole and you would

53:11

see all these like health and wellness people like

53:13

yeah remember when Tyson did like a whole

53:15

like six part Instagram series about it and

53:17

they would put a funnel in their butt

53:19

and go in the Sun a funnel in their

53:21

butt and go in the Sun I went

53:23

there we're not doing anything do you know

53:25

one time this guy you

53:28

know him and it's really funny but he he's married

53:30

now but he asked me on a date right and

53:33

great guy like manager of the stars like

53:35

really like has a lot of money like

53:38

killing it kind of attractive loves God right

53:40

he asked me on the state and I'm

53:42

like oh he's not like he's a little

53:44

too good for me like whatever like good

53:46

too goody like two

53:48

shoes you know what I mean but like maybe

53:51

I'll go like whatever I'm trying to turn over a new

53:53

leaf and then right before we were about

53:55

to get dinner this man was sonning his

53:57

asshole with the funnel on his Instagram

53:59

story Who is this? I

54:02

don't know who that is. I know

54:04

the name though. That is really concerning.

54:06

I will say that's a bit of a deal-breaker for

54:08

me. And I'm I've put up

54:11

with a lot of things. I don't give a fuck

54:13

what the benefits are. As a straight man, you're gonna

54:15

post a boomerang of a funnel in your asshole. My

54:17

thing is I think I have to start with, like

54:19

let's start with drinking water. You know what I mean?

54:21

I feel like it would be so extreme for me

54:23

to put a funnel at my asshole. I would have

54:25

to take so many steps before that if I were

54:27

really like actually concerned about my health. Like maybe stop

54:29

at the bulldog. What are the benefits? Like let me

54:31

I just want to say. And

54:33

how can they be put how many studies are there

54:35

about that? And if there are studies, then why are

54:38

we not focusing on women's

54:40

medication and or medications

54:42

that you give to animals? I just I

54:45

can't even talk about it. Oh my

54:47

god. Improved libido, an increase in blood

54:49

circulation, better sleep and a longer healthier

54:51

life. I do not need an improved

54:53

libido. Hashtag butthole sunning on Instagram. Hold

54:55

on. There's a hashtag? Yeah, it's a

54:57

community. On Instagram? What's with the where's

54:59

where are the guidelines? Oh

55:02

my god. Oh my

55:04

god. Oh my god. Everyone

55:06

takes the time to go to this hashtag at

55:08

some point in your life. Oh no. It's

55:11

so funny. It's so

55:13

funny. No. Who else

55:15

did that? No. Someone else I know did

55:18

that. No. No.

55:22

There has to be a simple. No. Oh

55:26

my god. I'm so sorry for anyone. Can we retake that? It's

55:29

all these grown ass men in the crazy.

55:31

Yeah, why is it all men? There's something

55:33

to be said about that. And they're in

55:35

the craziest positions. They're

55:38

in the craziest positions. Wow. Oh

55:42

my god. It's so awful. Oh

55:45

wow. It's exactly what I thought.

55:48

Comment down below if you've ever sent your asshole

55:50

and let me know if you saw any benefits. Because

55:52

I would like to know. So today's

55:54

Mother's Day for those who don't know. But can we

55:56

just talk about all... I like to call it Thursday.

56:02

Dead fucking ass. Don't get me

56:04

started. It is

56:06

so fucking funny to see

56:08

all of these straight awful

56:10

awful awful men posting like,

56:13

I'm so thankful to my mother who for making

56:15

me the man I am. Yeah, I'm gonna send

56:17

her a message and say she's she fucked up.

56:20

Or like, have you ever dated a guy? And

56:22

like, you know, you know that I just die

56:24

on the hill about this, like the men who

56:26

want to fuck their mother and then their mother's

56:28

day posts are like borderline like it's like their

56:30

girlfriend. Talk to a couple guys like that where

56:32

it's like, yeah, it's a little and

56:34

I of course I want like, I want a good relationship

56:36

with my kid. If I have a son and stuff like

56:39

I really, I understand that.

56:41

And if that niche, like it's

56:43

the niche category of like, you

56:46

know, mommy wants them and they want mommy. And

56:48

yeah, like no girl will ever be good enough

56:51

for you. Yeah, if they could breastfeed like at

56:53

25 they would and it's so funny seeing them

56:55

post but just like the amount of men I

56:57

saw today that like are cheating

56:59

on their girlfriends left and right posting like,

57:01

thank you to my mother for making me

57:03

the man I am. Does she even know

57:05

the man you are? And would she be

57:07

disappointed if she changed that navy blue fitted

57:09

sheet? Yeah, you discussed me brush your teeth.

57:11

Let's check out that sheet with a black

57:13

light. Do

57:15

you remember room Raiders? Yes,

57:18

I would have loved that. Honestly, you would have

57:20

been toast. I would I would be so toast

57:22

right now my the state of my room.

57:24

Honestly, my room right now too. I'm just like

57:27

really my life is in shambles. Let me tell

57:29

you, it's and when makoa leaves I get

57:31

my you know, my favorite thing in the world is

57:33

to sleep with my things. I love

57:35

to sleep with my things. Like I think

57:37

that I have a king bed and it's like half

57:39

of the bed is for me and then the other

57:42

half is for my things and I sleep so well

57:44

knowing that my things are sleeping with me. And my

57:46

things right now is a

57:48

wax pen some joints, a lighter my

57:51

purse, rainbow sour

57:53

strips, sour punch straws. I've

57:56

been sick so Benadryl and Sudafed and

58:00

laptop and like I just have all my things in

58:02

my bed right now and it's really bad my chicken

58:04

wrap as well but I'm getting rid of the chicken wrap I

58:08

got it I got

58:12

it I almost sent you a pic today and

58:14

said is this the one it's so

58:16

insane I haven't actually used it since I

58:18

was talking about it last it

58:20

popped off on tiktok really see

58:23

you should start fucking yeah I

58:25

know I would say that like that would inspire

58:27

me to want to make my own but like I could

58:29

never make it better than that one like that's it's the

58:31

best one ever yeah I got it I was a little

58:33

confused I might not have gotten the same one but you

58:36

said black with gold so I got the black with gold

58:38

I hope you got this and I'm

58:40

confused because when you press the button it doesn't

58:42

automatically just go on a constant speed it automatically

58:44

starts doing Morse code which I'm not into you

58:46

know that I agree sometimes you have to kind

58:48

of mess around with it to get it out

58:50

of there well I was like pressing press I

58:52

didn't get the chance to take it first but

58:54

I just turned it on but I'll immediately you'll

58:56

be the first to know if

58:59

it works out remember when

59:01

I had that vibrator burst into flames I'll

59:03

never forget this yeah I my friend did

59:05

a brand deal for it today and I

59:07

had to slide up on her story and

59:09

say um get your bag but don't use

59:11

that shit mine literally caught fire that's

59:13

well it is like crazy when you think about

59:16

like what it is like mechanically it's like a

59:18

motor like I don't know what actually have it

59:20

didn't like there were no like open flames but

59:22

it was smoking and it was like it was

59:24

hot I couldn't touch it it was so hot

59:26

no I could I could have sued do you

59:31

remember that McDonald's girl who burnt her vagina

59:34

she was like a sweet old lady there's no way she

59:36

burned her place no she did it was like an actual you

59:38

should watch it if there's a whole documentary on it but

59:40

it was actually so fucking horrible it was like this extremely

59:42

old lady so her skin was like

59:44

very like super thin like paper and they handed

59:46

her coffee and she spilled it in her lap

59:48

and it was it gave her such horrible burns

59:51

her like pants were melted

59:53

into her skin who's so so horrible

59:55

and they she won the lawsuit obviously

59:57

but yeah like why give voice water

1:00:00

and that's all it was like it was hearing your it was

1:00:02

so hot it was like I will you

1:00:04

tell you how to like when you put the

1:00:06

meat on the hot rock oh my god when

1:00:08

my mom was the baby she pulled a crock

1:00:10

pot from or a deep fryer from the counter

1:00:12

and her whole it was oil

1:00:14

so you can't like wash it off so it

1:00:16

burnt her whole body head to toe her diapers

1:00:18

melted into her skin and shit like

1:00:21

crazy that's so awful I know

1:00:24

that's so happy mother's

1:00:26

day I

1:00:29

just want to send all my love to any anybody

1:00:31

out there with mommy issues after Brooke and I did

1:00:34

the episode where we were talking about

1:00:36

our mommy issues I just feel like I

1:00:38

met so many people like came up to me and

1:00:40

told me how much that episode meant to them yeah

1:00:42

I got a lot of really nice messages about it

1:00:44

too which helps I just even today like obviously

1:00:47

I am finally I feel very lucky to

1:00:49

be in a place with Deborah you know like I

1:00:52

got to send her mother's day gift and talked around

1:00:54

the phone and it was really awesome and she's the

1:00:56

best and she texted me like thank you for choosing

1:00:58

me as your mom I would choose you in every

1:01:00

lifetime like really cute like just I was sobbing but

1:01:02

even today I spent I

1:01:05

went to brunch with Kim and Kiki and Kim

1:01:08

is like one of the best single

1:01:10

moms I know like she is she is

1:01:12

working every second of every day to provide for her

1:01:14

daughter and Kiki is like turning out to be like

1:01:17

the best kid in the world and just growing up

1:01:19

so much and Kim's been so there for me I

1:01:21

was like a mom in so many ways and I

1:01:23

got like go out with her to brunch and then I went and

1:01:25

saw Nune and at 7Q and

1:01:27

mama Nune has given me so much advice and

1:01:29

guidance on business and she's just such a boss

1:01:32

bitch that I look up to like today I

1:01:34

was asking her all these questions about like her life story and

1:01:36

she came from Armenia

1:01:39

like by herself and moved out here with

1:01:41

absolutely nothing and like left her whole family

1:01:43

back behind and like now has built a

1:01:45

multi-million dollar business and just like just

1:01:48

around with the Kardashians and it was like all her

1:01:50

doing it and it's like I'm trying to just flip

1:01:52

the narrative on how I look at mother's day and

1:01:54

it's like even if it is

1:01:56

just loving and admiring and showing

1:01:58

praise to the sht strong women in your

1:02:00

life who have been a mother to you in certain things.

1:02:03

I think that's so important. And also just even

1:02:05

today, like a lot of people I love were texting me like

1:02:07

Happy Mother's Day thanks for everything you've done for me. And I

1:02:09

think it's like you got to look at yourself

1:02:11

as like a strong fucking mother in so many ways. And

1:02:14

I just to anyone out there watching that

1:02:17

finds holidays like today hard, look

1:02:20

in the mirror and fucking wish yourself a Happy Mother's

1:02:22

Day if you're doing it for someone who didn't step

1:02:24

up and we love you so much.

1:02:26

Yeah, I agree. I honestly I've never or

1:02:28

at least in like the last few years,

1:02:30

I have never really been sad on Mother's Day

1:02:33

or anything like that because I feel like

1:02:35

I've had so many like positive or just

1:02:37

mom, mom figures, like whether it's like friends,

1:02:39

moms and stuff like that. I have like friends, moms who

1:02:41

I haven't even talked to in years who I still think

1:02:43

of and I'm like, Oh, that was so nice what they

1:02:45

did for me. Like, I think when you're in situations like

1:02:47

ours, like when you do get to meet a

1:02:50

strong, awesome, amazing mother figure, and

1:02:52

they're in your life at any

1:02:54

capacity, you value them so much

1:02:56

more obviously because it's like you're

1:02:58

comparing to like the opposite. And

1:03:00

then yeah, well, it's just like,

1:03:03

Oh God, it was just like, Oh my God,

1:03:05

like it's just it's so inspiring to

1:03:08

me like other strong, awesome

1:03:10

mothers and I don't know, I can't wait to be

1:03:12

a mother. Me too. Do you need today with all

1:03:14

my ash? It was like, you have to have a

1:03:16

baby. No, I don't think we're ready yet. But no,

1:03:19

I'm not. Like, I know it's not

1:03:21

time and honestly, I'm like, I'm not even in a

1:03:23

place where I think I should be dating, but I

1:03:26

want a baby so bad. I just

1:03:28

fuck around and have a kid. I'm gonna do it. I

1:03:30

told my God honestly, but could be fun though because you have so many people who

1:03:32

would help you. I would help you.

1:03:34

It'd be so fun. But I just can't be pregnant.

1:03:36

That's the only problem. Oh, I think you would love

1:03:38

being pregnant. I think being pregnant is like the most

1:03:40

amazing part. I was always saying like ectopic pregnancy might

1:03:43

be like, I don't want to say

1:03:45

a dream. That's like an awful sentence. But I'm going to

1:03:47

think you understand what an ectopic pregnancy. Maybe I

1:03:49

really don't. You're thinking of cryptic pregnancy. That's what

1:03:51

I'm thinking of ectopic pregnancy. I'm pretty sure it's

1:03:53

like when you get pregnant outside of where you're

1:03:55

supposed to. Oh my God. That's not what

1:03:57

I meant literally at all. Yeah. wrong

1:04:00

place. Oh my god and like your knee or

1:04:02

something? Yeah. Oh my god. No um

1:04:04

cryptic is what I meant because I don't know

1:04:06

you're pregnant. The stress of being pregnant would send

1:04:09

me to a Bolivian. I literally could never I

1:04:11

would have my feet on the table at every restaurant.

1:04:13

Yeah. Um so you

1:04:15

don't think you want to date? No I think

1:04:17

I'm well okay so I signed up for better

1:04:19

help again. Good. Alright because I was

1:04:22

having I had a little

1:04:24

realization recently okay I've been going

1:04:26

through a little bit of an episode as you

1:04:28

know. Um I've been experiencing

1:04:30

some symptoms if you will and

1:04:33

I'm like trying to tie them to something and I'm like

1:04:36

oh every single time and whether it's

1:04:38

like been like actual relationships or

1:04:40

like situationships or whatever it is every time I

1:04:42

have like a man in my life all the

1:04:45

sudden I'm I'm having

1:04:47

symptoms. You know what I mean? I

1:04:49

start getting crazy and like super hyper emotional and

1:04:51

like just like not behaving

1:04:53

normally not only that but more importantly I cannot

1:04:58

even think about myself and like I it's

1:05:00

so I don't even really want

1:05:02

to say how psycho I get about it but like I

1:05:05

can like I cannot think about anything

1:05:07

but a man when I have like a

1:05:09

man in my life literally at all. I

1:05:11

can't like it I get what you're saying

1:05:13

like you're you're revolving your meal around that

1:05:15

guy like that. I just have such a

1:05:17

like that's just I can't

1:05:19

like I don't know how to explain it but like I

1:05:21

cannot I don't even think about me and if I do

1:05:24

like anything like my own work all of that just like

1:05:26

seems like such a nuisance because I'm like I'm just focused

1:05:28

on them and it's like they don't even hardly know it

1:05:30

I'm just like that's what all my thoughts are and it's

1:05:32

not healthy it's not normal at all and

1:05:35

I'm like I can't I

1:05:37

don't think that anybody with that sort of

1:05:39

vibe should be dating. I love that sort

1:05:41

of vibe. Well no really like I just

1:05:43

feel like it's unhealthy and like recently obviously

1:05:45

I'm I am experiencing

1:05:47

the end a healthy a very nice

1:05:50

healthy like mutual end to

1:05:52

something yeah and I immediately...

1:05:56

Sorry one second. I'm

1:06:00

like, I'm even kidding. The instant it happened,

1:06:02

I'm like, oh my God, I am so excited

1:06:04

about my own things and stuff. And I'm like,

1:06:06

I realized such an immediate shift that it was

1:06:08

unsettling because I was like, that is crazy. Yeah.

1:06:11

That I can literally notice it. All of a sudden, I'm

1:06:13

excited about things that I should be excited about. Yeah,

1:06:16

and focusing on your own life without revolving it around

1:06:18

a man. I understand. Or what

1:06:20

he's doing or what he's thinking or is it

1:06:23

working, is it not working? I just, that's

1:06:25

all I'm ever thinking about. Oh yeah. We're

1:06:29

on tour and I'm not present. I'm literally

1:06:31

not present. There are times, obviously, and I

1:06:33

like, you know what I mean, where I'm

1:06:35

like, Brooke. You

1:06:38

know what I mean? Buss what this guy

1:06:40

thinks of every little thing you're doing. You know what

1:06:42

I mean? And I'm so excited for

1:06:44

you. I think just to be

1:06:46

in a self-love. Well,

1:06:48

I'm just healthy. I'm always, when I have no one

1:06:50

in my life like that, everything

1:06:53

about my life is better. And I don't think I've ever been

1:06:55

able to really tie it to

1:06:57

that, because I'm not paying close enough attention. Didn't realize

1:06:59

that that's what was doing in it, because it didn't

1:07:01

feel like they were related, but it is. Because

1:07:04

I'm just not anxious, I'm not

1:07:06

like, I just don't

1:07:09

have any personality disorder symptoms when

1:07:11

I don't have a relationship. And

1:07:13

obviously it happens in friendships and stuff, but

1:07:16

not often. And just more manageably, you think? Yeah,

1:07:18

I just get so crazy. It

1:07:22

would be awesome to get to a point where a

1:07:24

man was just an addition to your already

1:07:26

whole but it's not that way. And

1:07:28

I can identify that and I know that, and I don't

1:07:31

think that I should be dating. Because no matter what, I

1:07:33

don't have enough energy to put into it that and me

1:07:36

at the moment. So then I'm the one

1:07:39

who's always left in the dust.

1:07:41

And I'm like, I don't give a fuck about what I'm doing. I'm

1:07:43

blowing off work. I'm just not

1:07:45

doing anything I should be doing because I'm focused on

1:07:48

something else. And just present, I want you to do

1:07:50

a show and not think, what would this guy think

1:07:52

of how big this crowd I'm doing? Or what would this guy

1:07:54

think of? I've told you this one time, it's like it

1:07:56

is a concerning thought of mine, but I've always, I

1:07:58

can't remember ever having. not lived my

1:08:00

life in third person. It's

1:08:02

always like I'm living like through

1:08:05

the perception of somebody else and obviously who it

1:08:07

is changes, but it's always like what is this

1:08:09

person seeing and that's so scary and like demented

1:08:11

and weird and I know that that's like. I

1:08:13

don't want you to like beat yourself up for

1:08:15

it because it's like we're all products and you

1:08:17

know. No, but it's not normal so I'm like

1:08:19

trying to get ahead of it or like at

1:08:21

least like figure out what that is because that's

1:08:23

not, it's always in that way. I cannot remember

1:08:25

a time it wasn't even when it's like little.

1:08:27

Yeah. Like I've always been like okay

1:08:29

well what is this person like everything I

1:08:31

do is with another person in mind. I'm

1:08:34

really proud of you though. Thank you. Like

1:08:36

I'm really proud of you. I've been so good.

1:08:38

I was gonna bring this man to Hawaii and

1:08:40

now it's gonna be me and Bebe. Because even

1:08:42

though I was so stressed for you because it's

1:08:44

like we're going to Maui, Brooke and I

1:08:46

decided we would take, and Mikoa has

1:08:48

to go home so I wanted to go to Maui obviously

1:08:50

but like we were like let's take

1:08:52

some days there and just like relax and you

1:08:55

know we just did all this touring like let's

1:08:57

go write these California shows by the beach like

1:08:59

let's go tan, let's hang out and then the

1:09:01

weather might be really bad when

1:09:03

we go we don't know yet. Yeah. But

1:09:06

I felt like you were so stressed about like this

1:09:09

guy potentially going and like not enjoying his time

1:09:11

because of the weather. Yeah well I mean it

1:09:13

was always like I planned it with intent for

1:09:15

it to be him and I like that just it

1:09:17

was that way. Yeah. We talked

1:09:19

about it the whole time I was on tour and stuff and he was so helpful

1:09:21

like he's, he was like really

1:09:24

good to me when I was like going through it on tour and

1:09:26

stuff so it was like let's just go to Hawaii, lay on the

1:09:28

beach for five days whatever but I

1:09:31

knew that if the weather was horrible I

1:09:33

was gonna be like so hyper aware of like whether or

1:09:35

not he was having a good time the entire time and

1:09:37

it was making, giving me so much anxiety. Yeah and I'm

1:09:39

like let's go. And finally I was like I need to

1:09:41

not be doing this anyway. Yeah. And

1:09:43

like what am I doing running away on this romantic getaway

1:09:45

with this man I'm not, I shouldn't still be seeing anyway.

1:09:49

And I'm just really proud of you and I think we're

1:09:51

gonna like dance in the rain and have like so much

1:09:53

fun. I think so too and that but that's another thing

1:09:55

I noticed right away that all the sudden like the fact

1:09:57

that I all the sudden it doesn't matter anymore and everything's

1:09:59

fine and I'm not like stressed at all and like

1:10:01

it is really I can't believe how anxious I get

1:10:04

about just guys like that's so stupid well I

1:10:07

think that if you're aware of it and you're

1:10:09

like actively navigating that that it's only gonna get

1:10:11

better and I'm really proud of you thank you

1:10:13

really proud of you I'm not kidding that's what's

1:10:15

why thank you what else do we have

1:10:18

going on single bro I

1:10:21

got my belly button pierced was it by BB

1:10:23

in your kitchen worse

1:10:27

I did it ok

1:10:31

I tried this by the way actually a couple weeks ago I was

1:10:34

on my way to meet Trisha at the Madonna Inn and I went

1:10:36

into a smoke shop they had a belly button ring I tried to

1:10:38

shove it through gave myself so yeah so

1:10:40

I've had my belly button pierced before I

1:10:42

really bamboozled the fuck out of my sweet

1:10:44

grandma she was a victim it

1:10:46

you know I got my belly button pierced when

1:10:49

I was on for my 13th birthday no

1:10:51

from my 13th birthday and my grandma was so

1:10:53

my heart she was so funny she just wanted

1:10:56

me to hot like I could

1:10:58

get her to do anything yeah and I milked

1:11:00

that shit and I would tell her I'm like

1:11:02

she'd be like you're too young you're too young

1:11:04

I'm like Brooke she I'm like Nicole got hers

1:11:06

for out her 11th yeah I'm like lying crying

1:11:08

I would took me in the Colby can to

1:11:10

go get our belly button pierced at 13 I

1:11:12

was literally right there with you like I was

1:11:14

such a little slut because that's why you wanted

1:11:16

it right for sure well I was just I

1:11:18

had all like I always have like older girlfriends

1:11:20

and stuff so I just wanted whatever they had

1:11:22

yeah and so just convinced my grandma but like

1:11:24

I know that she if she were aware

1:11:27

of like what that actually meant she wouldn't

1:11:29

have let me do that yeah I feel

1:11:31

you completely I always pulled over pulled like

1:11:33

fast ones on her so

1:11:36

you repair so you shoved it through yeah

1:11:38

and now you're fine yeah I can't get

1:11:41

mine through the other side I've tried so

1:11:43

many I'll tell you why because okay so

1:11:45

an earring is like a is a 20

1:11:47

gauge like pokey

1:11:49

thing okay eight or

1:11:51

sometimes 18 okay a belly button ring is

1:11:53

like 14 yeah it's like big way

1:11:55

bigger girl fear so I had to get a nose

1:11:57

or there's a nose ring in my belly button right

1:11:59

now because it's a 16 gauge. Oh,

1:12:01

like you used something thinner and sharper. Yes, it's a

1:12:03

16 gauge so it's smaller than a normal belly button

1:12:06

ring. It's bigger than an earring but barely. I want

1:12:08

to go to Brooke's piercing shop. Brooke's Brooke's. It was

1:12:10

hard and I almost passed out but it looks so

1:12:12

cute and I love it. I want to go to

1:12:15

Brooke's piercing pagoda. I

1:12:17

could do it. It's sterile. Not kidding,

1:12:19

I want one so bad. I'm going to eventually, I'm going

1:12:21

to have to like gauge it back up to a regular

1:12:23

belly button ring. If I want to keep it but I

1:12:25

think I don't probably. Can you show me? Yeah. It's

1:12:34

a tiny. I

1:12:37

wanted it to be a tiny little hoop because

1:12:40

I saw Sab. Sab Koussaneh is her last name. She

1:12:43

had a tiny little hoop and I want to be her so bad. She

1:12:45

has absolutely everything in so long. Gorgeous. I

1:12:48

watched Zendaya's movie last night.

1:12:50

The Challengers. Challengers. In

1:12:53

theaters. You went to a

1:12:55

movie in theaters last night and you didn't tell me. It

1:12:58

was with, I don't care. I

1:13:00

don't think you would have wanted to join the party. Yeah, you're

1:13:02

right. I'm so surprised Zendaya decided

1:13:04

to take this movie, right? It's like a

1:13:06

three hour film. It was two hours but

1:13:08

like it just felt so long and the

1:13:11

entire premise of the movie is like Zendaya

1:13:13

was playing tennis and then she gets injured

1:13:16

and then she has two boyfriends and

1:13:18

she's like cheating on one the whole time with

1:13:20

the other and then cheating on the other and

1:13:22

like whatever back and forth and like

1:13:24

making them do some crazy. Sexual.

1:13:29

It was really sexual. Really? A

1:13:32

really interesting movie. People

1:13:35

are saying it's like the greatest film ever and like I felt like it

1:13:37

was like one of those movies that could have been four minutes. Like

1:13:40

cheating tennis, cheating tennis, the end, no ending. I feel like

1:13:42

there are some things that I can't even really appreciate because

1:13:44

I'm not enough of like a film bust. That's

1:13:47

the problem completely is I think it was like

1:13:50

too cool an arty for me. But

1:13:53

I think the yearning man is finally

1:13:55

back in. Like the whole

1:13:57

film is like this man just kind of being her

1:13:59

bitch. Right? Yeah, bring back women

1:14:01

being the one who makes the rules. And there's

1:14:04

this scene where she's looking at him and she

1:14:06

just, she's going on with his best friend and

1:14:08

she's like, she tells him like, if you lose

1:14:10

this tennis match tomorrow, I'm leaving you. And they

1:14:13

have like a kid together. They're fully married, like

1:14:15

yada yada. And he's just sitting there like hand

1:14:17

in her head, like his head in her hand

1:14:19

while she's like stroking him. And I was like,

1:14:21

oh, the yearning man in the back. It's

1:14:25

so, it's so funny. Like

1:14:27

years ago, like all I wanted was like a

1:14:30

fuck you asshole who didn't give a fuck if I lived or

1:14:32

died. And now it's like so like I'm so

1:14:34

the opposite. Like I love love

1:14:36

and I love how much like I love mcco

1:14:38

and that's reciprocated to me. And it's like, I

1:14:40

just love seeing the yearning

1:14:43

man. Yeah. I think

1:14:45

you know, you're like you're saying unrequited love

1:14:47

is out. Uh huh. I

1:14:49

think we don't like guys who don't like us anymore. I

1:14:51

just did it. I had an extreme loss. Actually in like

1:14:53

a really long time though. Like be obsessed with me or

1:14:56

get out. Yeah. Maybe I

1:14:58

haven't probably haven't had anyone obsessed with me

1:15:00

in a while, but I would not like

1:15:02

it's been a long time since I would even entertain somebody

1:15:04

who like really didn't like you. Yeah.

1:15:07

Who does who I don't feel like respects me. Yeah. Like

1:15:09

any guy I've talked to in the past year, which is literally nobody respects

1:15:12

me. We've grown so much since

1:15:14

the beginning of this podcast in our views

1:15:16

on our love lives and shit. I think so

1:15:18

too. I actually saw Joe the other day. Really?

1:15:21

Yeah. I saw him at that

1:15:23

special party I went to. You

1:15:26

guys, I went to this party. It was called

1:15:28

Beatchers Madhouse and apparently it was like huge back

1:15:30

in the day. It was like Jeff Beecher is

1:15:32

like this comedian and he used to throw this

1:15:34

party and it was like iconic. It

1:15:36

was like everybody would go Paris Hilton and like Nikki Hilton made it

1:15:38

cool. And it's just

1:15:40

like super exclusive, but it's like, it's a madhouse.

1:15:42

It's like the greatest show man. Like where

1:15:44

every everybody's like has some kind of really strange.

1:15:47

It's like a circus. So

1:15:49

lots of little people, lots of Michael Jackson

1:15:51

impersonators. There's like Oompa Loompas

1:15:53

on a zip line. It was everything, but

1:15:56

it was such an interesting crowd. Like people

1:15:58

you would never expect to be together. And

1:16:01

it was so fun. I wish you could have come

1:16:03

it went on for three days That's crazy that the

1:16:05

party went on for three days I know but it's

1:16:07

cuz it was like they brought it back as a

1:16:09

part of like the Netflix's joke festival or whatever Oh,

1:16:11

that's sick, but it was so cool scooter Braun was

1:16:13

there. I almost smacked him in the head It's

1:16:17

a one Michael Jackson impersonators are like and

1:16:19

like Elvis are like the winners like do

1:16:21

you think that we'll ever have to see

1:16:23

a time where like Joe

1:16:25

Joe see why impersonators have a new Michael Jackson

1:16:27

impersonators and like 30 years Resents

1:16:30

the fact that you just compared Joe Joe see why

1:16:32

to Michael Jackson? No, I did not compare to see

1:16:34

what a Michael Jackson. I think you I think Joe

1:16:36

Joe see was probably somewhere comparing Joe Joe see what am I

1:16:38

sure she is like no I

1:16:41

like I'm just saying you think we'll ever have like

1:16:43

a yeah for sure I think that there are people

1:16:45

that we know right now that we don't understand are

1:16:47

gonna be the icons that they are Maybe

1:16:49

gonna be in years like treating people in the moment

1:16:51

thought share was gonna be share or was it like

1:16:53

she was like a Billy Eilish.

1:16:56

Oh, whoa. I didn't even think about it like that I

1:16:59

hope we have to pay to some personators ever.

1:17:02

No, I just want to for she paid us only She's

1:17:05

gonna have a where's the baby? I know The

1:17:08

baby has to be born before this episode comes out.

1:17:10

Do you think so? All this is here so crazy

1:17:12

I was just like in you and then not It

1:17:16

fucked me up dude, like it really is

1:17:19

crazy. Imagine that feeling or just like this

1:17:21

was just inside of you Nora

1:17:24

Smith gave birth like three days ago and she already has

1:17:26

a six-pack. I'm like, what's up? But she's

1:17:28

six feet tall. I saw this video today. That was

1:17:31

a good time lapse of like a time

1:17:34

lapse of people building an amusement park and

1:17:36

it was like Nora Smith

1:17:38

when her kids say they want to go to Disneyland. She's

1:17:41

so funny. I just love her Admire her so

1:17:43

much because I can't like I have a suitcase

1:17:45

that hasn't been unpacked for weeks Yeah,

1:17:47

she's you know what you mean? Like where is

1:17:49

Nara? She I am like fully up to date

1:17:51

on the Nora Smith shit I couldn't decide if

1:17:53

I thought she was in on the bit or

1:17:55

not But then I saw her make gum from

1:17:58

scratch and I now think she's a genius Well,

1:18:00

it doesn't matter what the fuck it's for. She's

1:18:03

making content like the rest of us. Her videos

1:18:05

are all fucking five minutes long. She

1:18:07

is getting tens of millions of views on every single

1:18:09

video. She's making so much money.

1:18:13

It's stupid. I think that there's

1:18:15

something just so to be said about the like

1:18:17

harmless and raging formula. It is. Like

1:18:19

it's not hurting anybody, but people are fucking

1:18:22

furious about it. Yeah. But it's all

1:18:24

the people who don't want to make homemade gum and it's like, okay,

1:18:26

then don't.

1:18:29

I don't think I've ever had anything homemade in my

1:18:31

entire life. No one in my family has ever made

1:18:33

something from scratch in life. I just,

1:18:35

I'll like walk in and like Ashley Schwann is

1:18:37

making like, like sourdough bread from

1:18:39

scratch and I'm like, I can't wait

1:18:42

to eat that. Like really chef it

1:18:44

up. But like I'm buying the loaf

1:18:46

every time. Like there's no like it

1:18:48

just the reward. Oh,

1:18:51

there's a bird. There's a bird in our house. I

1:18:55

decided that I knew but it's going to be saying back when

1:18:57

I was in college with no context like,

1:18:59

oh yeah, I used to do that a lot back

1:19:01

in college. It's hilarious. Like when I was in college.

1:19:04

You had about as much of a college

1:19:07

experience as I did that will know. But

1:19:09

like, honestly, like the influencer world is very

1:19:11

similar to the college, like,

1:19:14

or at least my college experience, which is

1:19:16

like pretty toxic. Very like

1:19:18

it's like very like, like, yeah,

1:19:21

I mean, it's disguised like the

1:19:23

sorority experience is like disguised as

1:19:25

like something that's noble and like

1:19:27

admirable when it's not really,

1:19:29

you know what I mean? It's like it really is

1:19:31

just you pay for your friends. And

1:19:34

it's kind of judgmental and it's one of those things where

1:19:37

like, I didn't do it. So I'll never get it. But

1:19:39

like had I done it, I probably would have been. But

1:19:41

when you're in it, it's so enough that they like brainwash

1:19:43

you or anything because it is like the girls that you

1:19:45

meet, like those are gonna be my friends forever. But

1:19:48

like the actual system of it all is very culty.

1:19:50

It's very like they convince you that this is like

1:19:52

what you want and that this is the end all

1:19:54

be all and these are your women for life and

1:19:56

you have to commit your life to it. Yes, it

1:19:58

literally is. You don't. You would not believe the

1:20:01

things like we were and we're not allowed to do. It's really

1:20:03

crazy that I like subscribed to that.

1:20:05

I couldn't drink in the house

1:20:07

and I lived there for three years. But you

1:20:09

could show up drunk. Yeah, you can show up

1:20:11

blacked out and like every date dash has like

1:20:13

sober sisters or whatever. But like if you have

1:20:15

a sip of alcohol in the house, you're terminated

1:20:18

on the spot. But you definitely did. Yeah.

1:20:21

Well, no, I drank in my car in the parking lot. I'm

1:20:23

loving your headband. Thank you.

1:20:25

I feel like you're giving Jackie Kennedy.

1:20:31

Okay. Don't people say she eats like sheet metal

1:20:33

though? Yeah. That was one meme,

1:20:36

but I loved it because

1:20:38

they also said that Matt Rife is sheet

1:20:40

metal. Do

1:20:45

you know that when you ask someone to bark, the bark that they

1:20:48

choose, I think says so much about I know. I remember you

1:20:50

called me and asked me to bark and I said, I'm not

1:20:52

barking for anybody. Can you bark? No. How

1:20:55

degrading. What do you mean? Can I bark? I'll

1:20:57

bark first. Ready? All right. Don't you

1:20:59

think that the bark I chose says so much about me? Oh

1:21:02

my God. I'm in a dog the

1:21:04

other day that's never barked before. His

1:21:06

name was Beefcake. But what

1:21:08

if Beefcake was just lying to you? That's something I would

1:21:11

do if I was a dog. I'd be like, I've never

1:21:13

barked before. No. Yes, you have. It was the owner. He

1:21:15

was like, I've had him for three years now and he still never

1:21:17

barked. Pay attention. His

1:21:19

name was Beefcake. Murphy

1:21:21

didn't meow for six months. I was like, she

1:21:24

doesn't meow. She doesn't know how. They

1:21:26

have to learn how. And

1:21:29

the dog just never barked for mother cats. I don't

1:21:31

know about Beefcake, but I can't believe they finally barked. Oscar,

1:21:34

will you bark? I'm

1:21:37

not kind of like, see, I should not. I

1:21:39

just shouldn't be surrounded by people who won't bark. I'm

1:21:42

not living my truth. Yeah.

1:21:44

Let me off this God forsaken mic. Okay.

1:21:49

Love you. Guys,

1:21:51

we love you so much. Like we

1:21:53

said in the beginning of the podcast, everything will

1:21:55

be linked below. Please check out those links. It

1:21:57

would mean the world to us and we love you.

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