14:01

They didn't say Simon Senn's motherfucker. No!

14:04

All of our money! Delete. They

14:07

just gave it to the lady and went! They

14:13

asked me to verify the name of the business and

14:15

I went, oh yeah, no problem. It's Striking Distance LLC

14:17

and the guy on the phone just went, okay.

14:21

What the fuck? This

14:25

is a real business. But

14:27

we got it all sorted out now. Imagine if

14:29

you said it's Monkey Brains or whatever.

14:32

Do we add some other... No, no,

14:35

no, Stupid Monkey. No, no, no. No.

14:38

No. I think originally when we

14:40

first talked about what are we going to name

14:42

this thing, it was going to be like Sauce

14:44

Monkey Enterprises. And Jordan's like... It's

14:46

not a bad name. No, no, it's not a bad name. But

14:48

then Jordan said, it's just a thing where I think if we

14:51

say it out loud, it's going to be like that Seth Green

14:53

thing like Stupid Monkey and I went, I'm immediately sold on changing

14:55

the name. You're immediately

14:57

right. 100% dude. Didn't

14:59

even consider it and you're totally right. But

15:02

we got it all worked out and you can go to store.100%eat.com and get some

15:04

merch and we

15:07

have some more stuff coming maybe at the end of July, our

15:10

next drop. Where already things are in

15:12

motion. It's very exciting. It's already in motion. Yeah,

15:14

it's been very exciting to do all that stuff.

15:18

Wendy's... Wendy's

15:20

is a great fast food restaurant that we all

15:22

love. It's the only... Is it still? Okay,

15:28

Nick, go on. Yes,

15:30

the answer is yes. Because as long as they

15:32

have the spicy chicken sandwich, they will continue to

15:34

be the best and it's the

15:36

only fast food restaurant app that I have. Is

15:38

Wendy's still... That seals it right there. I mean,

15:41

that's all I need. It's all I have. It's

15:43

all I need. Is Wendy's

15:45

what it was four years ago? I

15:48

mean, it doesn't have the pretzel pub. Right. I

15:51

mean, other than the best sandwich. Other than that? Yeah, probably.

15:53

You think it's pretty... I think so. I've

15:56

never subscribed about this before, but they stopped salting their

15:58

fries. I absolutely agree with that. Hey,

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20:00

Especially if it's like their nuggets. A

20:02

bigger nug? It's not a bigger nug. It's

20:04

like a strip that is less. Like these

20:06

nugs almost feel like hollow inside when I

20:08

eat like a windscreen. Yeah, it's great. That's

20:10

why they're so light in the bag. Dude,

20:12

what was that? Picking up, what

20:15

do we have, like four bags? Yeah, I know.

20:17

The heaviest. They went less than air. The heaviest

20:20

one had some sauces. And the fries. Yeah, and

20:22

it was like, the smallest

20:24

bag is the heaviest bag? I'll

20:27

say thinking about how fast food restaurants

20:29

do chicken strips. I'm not a fan

20:31

of the chicken selects or the chicken

20:34

tenders at McDonald's. So

20:36

if they're like that, maybe we don't need them. That's what

20:38

it is. So you get four nuggets here. That's like the

20:40

minimum order. Kind of put them

20:42

together, human centipede style. You got a strip

20:44

there. You got a tender. But the strips

20:47

in Canada, you get three to an

20:50

order. But again, they only

20:52

have the two sauces and not seven, which we have.

20:54

We have seven sauces. It's true. Seven. We

20:56

don't have seven sauces. I also like that in the

20:58

fact you included. Seven sauces. That's he really

21:00

stepped in and out because he maybe wanted to get away

21:03

with seven. Go ahead hammer. There's not

21:05

seven different seven flavors. Not

21:08

different. See now he's back flavors. What

21:10

are you talking about? He really buried himself.

21:12

No, it was seven different sauces. What? Oh

21:15

boy. Last time I saw someone back

21:17

pedal. Watching the camera. He's making sure it's not

21:19

shutting off. Like every other time I saw someone

21:21

back pedal like this. They didn't know how to

21:23

pronounce road. Oh,

21:25

remember that guy? Nick.

21:27

All right. I was

21:29

going to say real quick. I like that you

21:31

included in the fact sheet even before tasting it the

21:34

best one, which was the

21:36

spicy garlic parm. Oh, we will get

21:38

to later. Oh, interesting. Okay. The

21:40

Irish star, the online publication, which claims

21:43

to be the voice of Irish America

21:45

is reporting that Wendy's will

21:47

be offering a $3 breakfast and

21:49

immediately started focusing on the seasons.

21:51

Potatoes. Look guys, come on.

21:54

You got to be above this.

21:56

In other news, they're reporting that

21:58

Baron snubs, father Donald. Get

28:01

him, get him, get him, get him. Oh

28:03

man, do you guys feel like you learned a lot? No. What?

28:07

Jingle jingles. What I learned. What do you mean? I

28:09

didn't learn that, I mean, I was reminded of that.

28:11

Do something to the monkey. And I liked it. How

28:14

much, Nick, what would you do for like a million

28:16

dollars? See?

28:18

A million dollars for yourself or to split?

28:21

Cause that's a big difference. Let's say $4 million. A

28:26

million for each of us. But

28:29

you gotta do it, you gotta take the bullet

28:31

for us. A million dollars each of us, I'd

28:33

do anything. Are you kidding me? That's what I'm

28:35

saying, that's why I fucking wrote it. Nick's not

28:37

much of a team player. I'm learning. I'd have

28:39

to see what was up. Okay. What

28:42

would not be up? I'd probably be up.

28:44

Probably that guy. If

28:49

you're in the monkey mask, I'm sure it'd be

28:51

fine. He walks into

28:53

the room, it's like in a decent

28:56

performance. Wait, wait, wait. He's

28:58

walking and he's cooking. I

29:07

hope he's still talking about that. I know, right? Send

29:10

us some Donkey Kong senior stuff. I mean, it wasn't really

29:12

that fun to go. Oh no, it was Junior. I don't

29:14

know, Junior. Wasn't a long time ago, but it wasn't yesterday.

29:16

No, no, it was two days ago. It was two days

29:18

ago. And also at this point, you're listening a week later.

29:20

Yeah, you'd think maybe a day would give it a little

29:22

bit of time to settle, but it didn't. Now I will

29:25

say, I remember Jingle Jingle really well. I forgot about the

29:27

snakes. Oh, big snakes. I totally

29:29

forgot about that. What's

29:33

he doing with those snakes? Am I snakes?

29:38

Lay down and be snakes. Are

29:42

you ready to read off all these different sauces,

29:44

Jordan? I'm gonna get to it. What are you

29:46

talking about? Seven different sauces. That's only 28 minutes

29:49

in, we got plenty of time to fuck around.

29:51

Yeah, but then we're gonna be at 45 minutes

29:53

by the time I'm done reading this. Yeah, seven

29:55

different sauces. There's seven. Seven. All

29:58

seven Wendy's saucy nugs. Starting

30:00

with honey barbecue. That's one a

30:03

flavor that's full of smokiness and sweetness

30:05

Delivering exactly what you would expect from

30:07

a delicious barbecue sauce with a subtle

30:09

hint of Honey,

30:12

it's an approachable sweet and tangy flavor that fans

30:14

won't be able to get enough of how you

30:16

feel about that You think you got enough of

30:18

it? I got the too much. Yeah. Yeah

30:21

the worst one Hate to

30:23

hate it. Ah Chicken hated

30:25

sweet sweet chicken and like it at all.

30:27

Oh, yeah, that one was not

30:29

good I wonder how many other ones are

30:32

gonna describe as a flavor. Let's find out

30:34

I'm really excited over under one and a

30:36

half All right

30:39

garlic parm a classic flavor that

30:41

packs a punch of layered savory

30:43

goodness from the very first bite

30:46

These saucy nugs strike the perfect balance

30:48

of garlic and parmesan without overwhelming your taste

30:50

buds I'll say that they definitely did

30:52

not know that's true And now I

30:54

will say it's too flavor is that they

30:57

taste like the way a footlocker smells

30:59

Yeah, you did so that would you

31:01

would you say that a footlocker when you

31:03

smell it overwhelms your taste buds? Well,

31:06

if I were to taste the footlocker it might but

31:09

you're smelling it. That's true there They

31:11

know there's a pocket when Wendy's wins again Can't

31:14

stop Jordan. Do you want to go on to

31:16

the third? Yeah, the first the third sauce almost halfway

31:19

there Buffalo a beloved

31:21

staple that always has your back

31:24

buffalo This

31:26

sauce has buttery undertones with a subtle touch

31:28

of vinegar that keeps you coming back for

31:30

more Spicy

31:33

honey barbecue. Okay, so this all right.

31:35

We're still on the barbecue. That's not

31:37

a new flavor This is not a

31:39

different no, I see any barbecue. No,

31:41

the other one was honey barbecue Right

31:44

right right right but again, but again

31:46

the sauce isn't spicy It's just a

31:48

spicy nugget the perfect balance of sweet

31:50

and spicy fans looking to level up

31:52

their honey barbecue Journey will be met

31:54

with the ultimate flavor explosion. Whoa, are

31:57

you are you on a saucy nugs?

31:59

Jersey journey? I'm a little Jersey Explained.

32:02

This is the eat part of my

32:04

eat, pray, love journey. Dude, I

32:06

was sweating because of the heat, and now I'm sweating because of

32:08

the heat and all the nugs. Yeah, they're

32:10

settling. Nug overload. The next

32:12

one? Spicy garlic parm. Well, that sounds

32:14

familiar. It's

32:17

a fiery twist on a classic. Classic.

32:19

Fans will pick up on the sweetness

32:21

and the sharpness of four types of

32:23

roasted garlic packed into this garlic parm

32:26

salt. Did you? Garlic, garlic, garlic.

32:28

It's sharp. I'm

32:30

at footing here. I

32:32

remember taking a bite and going, one garlic, two

32:34

garlic. Is that

32:37

how they made it spicy? Because when we

32:39

ate this one, it did

32:41

not taste spicy? No. But it

32:43

sure tasted like more garlic parm, which is

32:45

why I thought it was the best tasting

32:47

one. Right. It

32:50

was not spicy. No. Are they saying

32:52

it's spicy in that garlic is a spice and

32:54

they added more to it? Spicy, spicy garlic, yeah.

32:56

Yes, to everything you just said. Spicy

33:00

buffalo. Okay. This

33:03

is buffalo, New York after dark.

33:05

It's spicy. Okay, cool. Okay.

33:09

Go bills. Wendy's

33:12

spicy buffalo delivers an intense kick balanced

33:14

by a subtle tang of vinegar that

33:16

won't disappoint. I'm glad that this keeps

33:19

not disappointing. It's

33:21

like they're really trying to convince us and

33:23

themselves. Yeah, they really keep saying it. The

33:25

copywriter just went, huh, everyone's going to be

33:27

so bummed out. The last one's just

33:29

going to be like, it's not that bad. It's not that bad. It's

33:31

honestly not that bad. This is the slop. All right, here we

33:33

go. You ready, Jordan? The last one. This one is actually

33:36

different. It's not just, thank you. It's not just

33:38

ghost pepper. Seven. This is seven of seven.

33:40

This is four. Yeah, seven of seven.

33:42

This is four. Seven of seven. This isn't

33:44

just ghost pepper. This is spicy ghost pepper.

33:47

Time to kick it up a notch or

33:49

two with Wendy's unique

33:52

spicy ghost pepper sauce and

33:54

intensely spicy experience with a lingering

33:56

depth that only the queen of

33:58

spice can create. This

34:02

sauce is perfect for the adventurous person

34:04

who wants to dial it up on

34:06

the spice o meter spice o meter

34:11

Who's dad the last two the queen of

34:13

spice the last two sentences of this could

34:15

be about dune to Zendaya

34:20

is here to bring you an

34:22

intense spicy experience with lingering depth

34:25

What the Movie

34:28

sure yeah, she's the queen of spice yeah Let

34:31

me real quick go over this sure I would

34:33

also describe doing as like dialing it up on

34:35

the spice I agree that's a lot of spice

34:37

that is what they're trying to do kind of

34:39

both movies the whole time Just eat saying that's

34:41

why patista is there to dial up the spice

34:43

o meter sand. Did you see the second one? Mm-hmm.

34:45

Did you see the first one? Mm-hmm? Do

34:47

you think Dave patista was totally wasted in the second

34:49

one? Yeah, yeah, like not in it at all like

34:52

they they're just like you mean his time was wasted

34:54

or he was drunk Honestly,

34:57

I thought he was gonna do more stuff, and

34:59

then they just went so they get rid of

35:01

him Yeah, and then they bring him back and

35:03

then they spoiler they kill him. Yeah, there's like

35:06

he had no purpose Yeah, no like this brother's

35:08

tiny brother. Yeah the second yeah the second movie

35:10

is like a WWF

35:13

champion Dave Batista is out of here, but

35:15

here comes Elvis and Elvis is gonna take

35:17

care of him May thy knife

35:19

chipping shed Thank

35:22

you very much You're welcome. This is

35:24

timely stuff. So we've got a hot seven and we

35:26

look at this right here. Just want to cry Barbecue

35:30

yeah garlic parm Buffalo three ghost pepper

35:32

right and then and then what you

35:34

forgot is spicy honey barbecue Not a

35:36

place spicy garlic not a flavor spicy,

35:39

but not a flavor Here's the other

35:41

thing not the other ones, but he's

35:43

wasting our resources and what do you

35:45

mean? You're wasting our time like Dave

35:47

Batista wasted his time We have the

35:49

Dave Batista of this podcast code has

35:52

been for a long time even for

35:54

a spice mouse with Jordan Yeah, you don't get regular chicken.

35:56

We just get the spicy. I agree. Yeah, did we get

35:58

the regular chicken? Yeah We

36:02

actually could have gone gotten all the

36:04

spicy ones and it would have been

36:07

better because again the garlic parm was

36:10

so not flavorful and then the spicy one was great. This is

36:12

why we're all mad at him. So we kind of wasted... yeah.

36:15

Yeah. Yeah. Fucking Nick

36:17

over there has instead of fucking... there's extra

36:19

nuggets for him to eat so he's been

36:21

fine with it and then finally we're all

36:24

mad at him. Yeah! Maybe

36:26

two. Yeah, we're the henchman.

36:29

Yeah, I just kill for the voice. Kill

36:31

Eric! Yeah! Yeah,

36:33

get mad at Eric! Yeah! Yeah! Muah-deeem.

36:38

Bring the spice. A

36:42

thing I didn't realize in the movie that's

36:44

like in the book is the reason he picks the little

36:46

mouse is because he's like, well I know that this prophecy

36:49

is like I'm gonna like tear up the whole fucking universe.

36:51

Whatever. So I gotta pick the stupidest fucking thing. I don't

36:53

know. What's the name of the fucking

36:55

mouse? Yeah, and they're like, yo, the mouse

36:57

is a fucking baller, dude. Yeah, dude. Straight

36:59

up, mouse is a G. Mouse is a fucking G, bro.

37:01

Mouse is baller. He's like, hot and shit. Yeah. We

37:04

can't get the mouse. Dude, I've always said if...

37:06

that smart guy mouse talk right there. I've

37:08

always said if any creature on Arrakis is gonna like

37:11

tear apart the universe, it's gonna be that little rat.

37:13

Well, what about the giant sandworm? I said the rat.

37:16

No, we ride those guys. Yeah, they're fucking... You can't

37:18

ride this rat. Those sandworms don't fuck with those mouse.

37:22

They're fucking like tearing through the desert. They see one of those... Whoa,

37:24

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'll go around. I'll

37:26

go around. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. He crosses the street.

37:28

It's like the other baby sandworms are like, I'm gonna

37:30

get... You

37:33

don't want to mess it up. No, no, no,

37:35

no. That mouse is crazy. Dude, he'll drink your

37:37

blood no problem. Bro, he won't even

37:40

put you... he won't even drown you

37:42

first. He'll drink your

37:44

blood from the inside. I've seen people who have been around for a

37:46

long time. He'll

37:49

drink your blood from the inside. I've seen it. How

37:52

far into Dune do you think they get? Do you

37:54

think they do the sandworm man hybrid thing? I

37:57

think if they get that far, they've lost the plot. Oh

58:00

shit! Oh cool! I think

58:02

he likes it too. So when

58:05

we were talking about grandma candies,

58:08

I mentioned these cream savers. Did!

58:14

Orange and strawberry. These guys

58:16

are S tier, God tier,

58:19

God Emperor of Arrakis. Whoa!

58:21

Grandma candies. So they are hard candies so. I'm just

58:23

gonna eat one. Yeah, I would say, do you want

58:25

orange? I'll go orange. Okay, I'm gonna do orange, do

58:27

you want orange strawberry? I'll

58:30

have strawberry later. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Jordan, these can

58:32

be yours. I like these.

58:38

Okay. Bit of a mumble there.

58:42

That's not what he did at all, what you just

58:44

did. I was like you were like, I like

58:46

you just did it. I was like, bit of a mumble. I was like, bib,

58:48

bib, bib, bib, bib, bib, bib. Put down leg up here.

58:52

Okay. Beep, beep, beep, beep,

58:54

beep, beep, beep. I don't know if he meant in the headphones

58:56

or in his brain. I don't know what he was talking about.

58:59

I had the same thought. God,

59:06

I give it a bad rap though because it looks like a

59:08

disgusting gross peppermint, but it does not. It's

59:10

a swirl, white and orange or white and

59:12

pink candy. Real artificially sweet. The

59:16

orange and cream one. Yeah. Oh,

59:18

I love these one. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It

59:20

tastes like a kid candy. What

59:23

do you think? Are these as good as you remember? You could

59:25

put like this in water.

59:29

You could definitely meet the ratio. Like, oh fuck. Yeah,

59:33

they're still pretty good. Man,

59:36

the flavor, what I really like is just like, you

59:39

don't suck the flavor out of it. The whole thing

59:41

is a solid piece of flavor. So

59:43

like, it's just got an outer layer. Yeah, it's just

59:45

gonna be like that the whole time it's

59:47

in your mouth. Oh, so good. He's losing

59:49

it right now, man. He's just thinking

59:51

back. He's sucking on one of these, breaking his collar

59:54

bone. He's having a time of

59:56

his life. David? Oh,

1:00:00

yeah, that arm's broken. Nice.

1:00:04

Goddamn. It's

1:00:07

pretty good. It's a good candy. It's sweet. You're

1:00:10

not a candy guy. I'm not a candy guy. These are a big nostalgia

1:00:13

flavor for me. This is what 68. This

1:00:15

is what 8th grade tasted like for me. And

1:00:17

Foot Locker. Average score

1:00:19

of 80. And I think these are

1:00:21

an 80 candy for sure. Fair. Yeah. Very fair. Really

1:00:24

like it. Really, really like it. Thanks for the

1:00:26

snack. And you can send them in. And Liza's

1:00:29

coming in. Yeah, no kidding. You can send your

1:00:31

snacks in to P.O. Box 143241, Austin,

1:00:33

Texas 78714. That

1:00:37

is 100% EAT P.O. Box

1:00:40

143241, Austin, Texas 78714. Jordan,

1:00:45

do we have a 100% EAT fan shout out? We

1:00:48

sure do. Because if you sign up to become a

1:00:50

100% fan, you

1:00:52

get a form that you fill out that

1:00:54

tells us how to say your name right

1:00:57

style and you get to read your message.

1:00:59

And you can hammer your wife about how

1:01:01

she eats pizza for months to come. This

1:01:04

is from Ben. Ben

1:01:08

says, I

1:01:11

hate you with the passion of a

1:01:13

thousand sons. Also, please

1:01:15

take my money. Thanks,

1:01:17

Ben. Thanks, Ben. We love you. Love

1:01:20

you, Ben. Thank you. We love you and your

1:01:22

money. Mm-hmm. I

1:01:24

think he was talking to Eric about getting the

1:01:26

regular nugget. We're talking about. Yeah, I'm not sure.

1:01:29

I'm not sure that was directed at us generally,

1:01:31

but maybe he thinks he's talking about Eric. Yeah,

1:01:33

because Eric was probably like, if you want to

1:01:35

sign up. And so when he said you, you're

1:01:37

right. Even even Ben is mad at Eric. I

1:01:40

know, dude. I heard Ben was taking his hat

1:01:42

off. What if Ben's message was like, yeah. What

1:01:45

if it was? I bet that's

1:01:47

coming up. I dare. I dare

1:01:49

a 100% fan out there to go. Message.

1:01:54

Uh, so you can sign up

1:01:56

now at patreon.com/100% eat. If

1:01:59

you sign up. for at least the Grackle tier, which is the $10 tier.

1:02:03

You can get new episodes every Friday

1:02:05

of the Michael Jordan podcast. Last

1:02:08

week, we went to McDonald's

1:02:10

and did sort of a driving

1:02:12

podcast style thing where we tried the Grandma

1:02:14

McFlurry and rated it, gave it a shot

1:02:17

and all that stuff. It was not Cream

1:02:19

Saver flavor, unfortunately. No, it wasn't last week.

1:02:21

Last week, we sat here and we talked

1:02:23

about Patreon, you fuck. Nick, edit that. No,

1:02:25

no. Hey guys, can I- It was two

1:02:27

days ago. Guys, we just did it in this room. And

1:02:30

you were like, hey, I want to do something. Let's talk

1:02:32

about this. I'm really excited to talk about this on

1:02:34

the Michael Jordan podcast. I was thinking it and he said

1:02:37

it. And I was like, this guy's wrong as shit. Are

1:02:40

you about to confess again? Guys, can I make a confession?

1:02:42

Yeah, I got the days mixed up. I

1:02:48

looked for a second, someone's listening and it's like they

1:02:50

went to McDonald's again. No, no,

1:02:52

no, Jordan. Oh

1:02:55

no, I hope you're not driving and watching this. CJ

1:03:00

wasted. Somehow

1:03:04

that untied my shoe. You

1:03:07

can follow us at 100% eat on Twitter

1:03:09

and Instagram. Save today with everything. Watch the

1:03:11

video version that's over on

1:03:13

our YouTube channel where you can see us

1:03:15

slam against walls as I make my confessions.

1:03:19

So you do have something to confess. And

1:03:22

for the video version, thank you to AAPW

1:03:24

for letting us film here again. America's

1:03:26

Academy of Professional Wrestling, where you commentary. I'm glad

1:03:28

the kickboxer stopped. That

1:03:31

was way earlier. When we got here,

1:03:33

those kickboxers were fucking kicking. That's what

1:03:35

they do. They weren't punching. It

1:03:38

was loud. It was like a lot of kicking. It

1:03:40

was really loud. It was almost as loud as you

1:03:42

squeaking your chair the entire time nonstop. Oh, it's his

1:03:44

chair. My chair does not squeak. It

1:03:46

was just every second. Nick

1:03:50

ate it. I didn't like the visual of

1:03:52

Eric just... Yeah, I didn't like the visual

1:03:55

of Eric going into it. Check

1:03:57

this out. Listen to

1:03:59

this. I'm gonna cook some snakes under the

1:04:01

top. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Rate,

1:04:06

subscribe, and tell a friend

1:04:08

about the show, or eat

1:04:10

food, and rate the food.

1:04:12

Sometimes make confessions. Sometimes. Goodbye.

1:04:15

Oh. Here,

1:04:19

let me try this. No!