Episode Transcript
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0:01
up to up to up to up
0:04
to up to Jimmy Carr will be here
0:06
in 15. Let's start the episode now. Let's start the episode. We
0:08
saw Jimmy Carr last night. We saw Jimmy Carr last night. He
0:10
scared the fuck out of me Saturday. Saturday?
0:12
Saturday, I saw him at the big Netflix
0:14
party. Yeah. This week is Netflix
0:17
as a roast. Netflix is a
0:19
joke. Yeah, yeah. We did the roast,
0:21
but it is Netflix as a joke. We're gonna talk
0:23
about the roast today. We'll talk about the roast because
0:25
he's a roast master for sure. And
0:27
he was there, not in the roast, but
0:30
he was in the audience. I was looking at
0:32
him a lot. Always very well dressed. I'm sure
0:34
he's gonna show up just sharp as can be.
0:36
What do you wanna, can I, before we get
0:38
into the roast stuff, can we talk about Jimmy
0:40
Carr? Sure. Do you know much about his story?
0:42
I don't know if we're allowed to talk about this. I don't know. Like,
0:45
I don't know. I don't know him very well. I remember, do you
0:47
remember when we met him? When
0:50
we met him in Montreal. How
0:52
do you say it? Montreal. I think you're saying
0:54
it wrong. Well, that's how you say it for
0:56
them. Yeah, we're Americans. I know, but we're saying it.
0:58
And if they want us to not take it from
1:00
them, then we'll say it our way. Montreal? Montreal. Well,
1:04
we were in Montreal for the.
1:06
Was it Melbourne? Melbourne. Melbourne.
1:08
It's Melbourne. Is it Ibiza? No,
1:10
it's Ibiza. Crowd
1:16
loved when I did Spanish, by the way. Yeah,
1:18
they did. That was a surprise. I did not expect that.
1:20
I think they thought it was like a fucking parlor trick.
1:23
He's like a, when we
1:25
met him in Montreal. Yeah.
1:29
And he walked into the room. I just
1:31
realized you could also do Montreal.
1:34
Montreal. Montreal. I
1:38
hate when they talk French. When they talk
1:40
French, yeah. It's their first language there.
1:42
No, it's not. No, no,
1:44
no, it's not. In Montreal it is. They talk
1:46
French the same way you talk Spanish. They can
1:49
talk French. Some of them
1:51
speak poor English. Bull. Yeah,
1:53
because they're lazy. That is,
1:55
that could be argued, but it's first language is. If
1:57
your sister only spoke Spanish. She'd be like you don't
2:00
get out on up. You just hang out with mom.
2:02
That's true. That's who they are Well, they're not getting
2:04
out of their city Their
2:07
city is French I want to
2:09
party with your sister so bad Jane and Maria you
2:11
both of them with you with you I just partied.
2:13
Well, I just hung out with Jane
2:16
and my mom they came to the show in In
2:20
Canada, do you know we were planning a surprise party for you?
2:24
When for your birthday For
2:26
my birthday. Yeah, we were gonna plan a surprise
2:28
party for you And I and because I think
2:31
Maria was like, oh it'll drive him crazy Yeah,
2:33
and I was like, oh, yeah So how's that
2:35
fun? And if I show up it'll make him
2:37
out of his fucking mind How would that be
2:39
a good thing? Cuz it's for us. Yeah,
2:41
exactly Yes We
2:44
should go on a family trip you with
2:46
my family. Yeah, you know me. No. No, I was
2:48
gonna take my family, too My
2:51
family, let's do a cruise my family
2:53
and your family I bring my sisters and
2:55
you bring your sisters and your and
2:58
you bring your mom and bring my dad and my mom. Oh
3:01
It'd be so much fun. What's up for
3:03
who for me? I'd love it.
3:05
I would fucking love it. Oh My
3:08
god, let's get back to Montreal. Well, I'll
3:10
tell you this Jane and my mom were
3:12
like, you know, my mom was like Trying
3:15
to take blankets from the fucking hotel
3:17
and she like, you know, all she's like I'm
3:19
taking this I'm like you can't take it but
3:21
doesn't belong to you. She's like I take this
3:23
cup. I'm like, no She goes
3:25
can you buy it? I go. No, it's not for sale. It's a fucking cup
3:28
It's like it's the coffee cup in the
3:30
room and she's like why can't I take it because it's
3:32
not yours it belongs to This
3:35
property and she was like they have other ones. I
3:37
go. That's not how this works She's like a fucking
3:39
child. Like this is what a toddler would think this
3:41
is my impression of my mom hanging out with your
3:43
mom Okay. Yeah, you talk like your
3:45
mom and I'll be my mom's like so nice
3:47
to meet you. It's so nice to meet you
3:50
It was so nice to meet you too. Yeah,
3:52
okay. Yes. Oh, it's nice to she got funny
3:54
accent That's what your mom was saying.
3:56
Yeah She's done that she's done that
3:58
before like we went to an Italian restaurant. They guys. Hey Would
4:00
you like a little of it? You know my dad
4:02
my mom goes. I like a little spaghetti I go
4:04
mom what the fuck you doing she goes they like
4:06
it. They like it sure I feel like we've got
4:08
more come I told you this story about the Italian
4:10
guy right at the restaurant No, I didn't tell you
4:12
this. No a few months back. I never told you
4:14
this no When I walked in
4:17
to this Italian restaurant the guy it
4:20
was in Jersey, and he was tan Black
4:24
hair spiked with gel like up here.
4:26
It looked like real Jersey Shore shit
4:28
Yeah, and he looked like a southern
4:30
Italian guy right and
4:33
he was like But
4:35
I say it I've been minute the
4:37
lucky puppies Just and I was like
4:39
oh Jesus Christ, and he was super
4:41
theatrical and so we sit
4:43
down and he cuts fresh Pecorino
4:46
and he puts it on the plate,
4:48
and he's like prego prego Bravo
4:52
prego. I was like this fucking
4:54
guy's just off the boat You know
4:56
and he's like we have is the
4:58
most amazing bucatini la mari cana today
5:00
We have a spaghetti abalone is is
5:02
going to make your fucking asshole shit
5:05
It's so good in branzino it flies
5:07
in from the Mediterranean Incredible
5:09
and so he walked away in this character
5:11
by the way I mean it was so
5:13
like dramatic he walks away. We're like this
5:18
So I had been at the time doing
5:21
Italian on multiple apps on
5:23
my phone for like I
5:26
don't know probably Nine
5:28
months or a year so I mean
5:30
super elementary, but like you know I
5:32
have basic things down So
5:34
I'm like I mean I'm nervous I'm like I
5:36
want to say you know you the one thing
5:38
you miss with apps is like conversation So
5:41
like he walks up, and I was like he comes
5:43
back, and I was like I'm gonna get the bucatini
5:45
and then I go Ofame
5:49
he goes huh I
5:51
go off of a meal
5:53
or family and he goes
5:57
And I was like I'm hungry he goes Bravo,
6:01
and he like walks away and I was like what the fuck so
6:03
then I look it up I'm like maybe I said it all
6:05
wrong. Yeah, and I said it Completely,
6:08
right? Yeah, so I was like that's
6:10
fucking weird. So he comes
6:12
back and I was like, huh I
6:14
go so Where are you from? And
6:17
he goes Salvatore I
6:19
was Salvatore. It was that like
6:21
a village. He's like no I
6:24
go where is that? He's like
6:26
in Central I was central like
6:28
Central of Italy
6:31
he's like no Central
6:34
America. Are you from El
6:36
Salvador? So
6:40
you're not Italian he goes no prego and he
6:42
just walks away Full
6:47
Italian act that he does. Can I
6:49
tell you I we talked about this
6:51
on a podcast and I bothered
6:53
me that it's Something we talked about on a
6:55
podcast that I can't figure out why I do
6:57
it What is I would have never
7:00
tried to call him on it. I just
7:02
would have let Santa Claus be real Oh,
7:04
yeah, I would like and there's certain people
7:06
that go hold on what the fuck's happening
7:09
Well, I didn't I was I didn't humiliate
7:11
him. Yeah, I just was like I
7:13
was perplexed at why
7:15
he didn't understand my simple Italian freights
7:17
and I was like This is it and
7:20
I and I wasn't guessing that he wasn't
7:22
Italian at first I was just like oh,
7:25
I must be saying this like a perfectly. Yeah. Yeah, but The
7:30
best is that when he came back and
7:32
after I had done that thing he stayed a hundred
7:34
percent He spoke
7:37
English with an Italian person's
7:39
inflection, you know, he didn't say it like
7:41
a Spanish But he kept saying all the year
7:44
you want to eat the lovely Oh, it's like
7:46
the way she's standing up Love
7:49
you Andrew. We're talking about the roast we were there. We're
7:52
on the run. Yeah, we love Andrew I love the fact
7:54
that I loved it I want to out
7:56
the dude but one of the guys we were with was like
7:58
who is that guy? I said Andrew Schultz Oh, he's
8:00
the white guy little black guys love True.
8:03
Yeah, it's true. Yeah fucking 50 cent at
8:05
his MSG show unbelievable I mean I didn't
8:07
you know, he didn't pay for it. No
8:09
50 cent showed up out
8:12
of love 50 cent loves him I was
8:14
fucking wild man. Yeah, he was that he
8:16
was fun. He was fun to be fun
8:18
with like he'd celebrate He was great. He
8:21
was great. So let's this is what I
8:23
know about Jimmy Carr. Okay. Yeah We
8:26
meet him in Montreal. Yeah, and
8:28
he and He's doing a guest
8:30
set on one of the show we're showcasing on or
8:33
me and push where you were doing other shows me and push were
8:35
your backstage of push and Jimmy
8:38
Cargos guys just hop in and try some jokes and they're like, yeah,
8:40
of course And you said
8:43
Google his net worth I
8:45
did yep And I Google his net worth and as it was
8:47
on my phone you leaned over and he goes He's
8:49
still hustling to do guest sets. He
8:52
does not need to do any of
8:54
this. Hmm. He has to show six
8:56
out of eight cats That's the name of
8:58
the car real quick. He's got a big
9:00
show. He's got a big TV show He
9:02
got in trouble for getting he got canceled
9:05
for a fucking joke Did you see his
9:07
response to the joke to people getting canceled?
9:09
He's listen this guy always
9:11
has the sharpest He
9:13
is witty as well dark as short as
9:15
funniest darkest really really funny guy, man We
9:18
had him on your mom's house. Oh, yeah,
9:20
he was fucking incredible. He was great Jimmy's
9:22
the guy that we you can bring up
9:24
any topic and he's going to know something
9:26
about the history go to his Wikipedia He's
9:29
got a show. Okay, it's a very most
9:31
popular show in Britain right now. Yeah, it's what
9:33
it's been forever. It's called Eight
9:36
or nine cats or something eight or nine. We don't
9:38
get it here. So I don't watch it Okay, it's
9:40
like a very very popular show. All right. Can you
9:43
just find the name of the goddamn show? It's right
9:45
there eight of eight out of eight out of ten
9:47
cats. That was that since 2005 Well,
9:50
yeah, I think the pandemic probably shut down production.
9:52
Okay, but he is super cool thing
9:54
I don't know if he'll say this on the podcast
9:56
ball. Yeah it and then we can never bring it
9:58
up I
10:01
was at the party, I was at the big, I
10:04
don't know, maybe I can't
10:06
remember if my memories are real or not. So like,
10:10
but someone was getting ready to do the
10:12
roast and they had their set list, all their jokes. And he
10:15
said, let me take a look at that. And
10:17
he grabbed their list and he
10:19
went move this and he took his pen and he changed their
10:21
set. And he goes, there you go. And
10:23
it's the set they delivered and it fucking
10:25
destroyed. Cause he just went through, he's a
10:27
fucking tactician. He's a fucking smart guy. Very,
10:29
very sharp dude. Do you feel like he
10:31
grew up wearing knee high socks and like
10:33
short maroon pants? It sure feels like he
10:35
should have. Yeah. Would you be
10:37
shocked? He should be the, he's the kid who had picture saying when
10:41
he was a kid, he's like, mommy, if
10:44
I do it right, can I have
10:46
some more porridge? And then she's
10:49
like, you may. And then he does the
10:51
thing. And then she gives him like another
10:53
bowl. He's like, Jimmy has another
10:55
bowl of porridge for himself. Mommy, can
10:58
I take my tea to the meadow? I'll
11:00
have my tea in the meadow today. That's exactly what
11:02
it feels like. He said he had a great, he
11:04
had a great joke. I
11:07
want him to say what he did, but he had a great joke
11:09
about, oh, so you
11:11
can understand that I didn't mean that. Have you seen his
11:13
defense of that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really brilliant of
11:15
like, he's a real, he's a real like freedom of speech
11:18
guy, which is crazy in their country. I don't think that's
11:20
freedom of speech. I don't know the laws.
11:22
Well, we'll find out soon. Yeah. We
11:25
should do all our interviews like this where
11:27
we do a pre-interview to me and you, and then they
11:29
come down and people like- And we listen to all your
11:31
assumptions about them. Yeah. And then we
11:33
would check if any of them are true. I felt
11:36
like he grew, he, he, when
11:39
I think of Jimmy Carr, I think of
11:41
oil rigs. I think of Saudi
11:43
Arabia. I think of him talking to
11:45
Sheikhs and brokering deals,
11:48
and then him going, this
11:50
isn't for me, no more. I
11:52
think I want to try stand up. Definitely.
11:55
That is very good. He's
11:57
got a posh accent. Yeah, that wasn't though.
12:00
That's not what you just it was not posh.
12:02
No all right. All right Yeah,
12:05
that's kind of like the dock worker. I kept saying
12:07
to him. I kept saying to him This
12:10
is the best. I hope we talk talk about
12:12
this. He was with Leanne. Leanne was fucking wasted
12:14
last Yeah, and I was trying to he couldn't
12:16
understand her totally because she
12:18
was so drunk and redneck and Shane Gillis kept
12:21
going You do not do a
12:23
bad accent of her on stage. You're doing a very
12:25
accurate accent. I go. I fucking know She's
12:27
like, shut up Shane He's
12:29
bully and then I go Jimmy. Do
12:31
you sent it to a little bit of Scottish and
12:33
he goes I sense uneducation
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policygenius.com/bears. I
17:03
feel like she hasn't read books. Is
17:05
that what you're looking at pointing that? She
17:07
was fucking wild last night. Well,
17:10
we should go to the beginning. So like we-
17:13
Oh, let's talk about our experience with the roast. That's what
17:15
I'm saying. So we get a call. Good call, Burt. We
17:18
get a call like a month ago and they
17:20
say, hey, we're doing this roast
17:23
to Tom Brady. Would you
17:25
be interested in doing it? And you
17:28
go- I said, yes, we're both in.
17:30
And I go, no. You said absolutely
17:32
not. I go, no. You were like,
17:34
there's nothing we can win out of
17:36
this. Yeah, I'm like, what are you talking about? Like
17:38
we've never been on roast, we're not roasters or anything.
17:41
But then they said, we're trying something
17:44
different where we want you guys to do
17:46
it together. And even then I was
17:48
like, you mean like, just go to the podium together and
17:50
roast together? And they were like, no, we wanna do like,
17:53
we're thinking of like trying something that
17:56
we've never done before. I think they wanted a
17:58
sports center thing first. Yeah, yeah. And we
18:00
were like, nah, I gotta get flowers. I gave them to
18:02
you last night. I'll give them to everyone. Yeah, well, you
18:05
said no. And you said, you called
18:08
me, said we're not saying yes yet. We're gonna have
18:10
a meeting with Netflix. We're gonna talk through with the
18:12
writers. Yeah. And with the producers. So
18:14
we got on a thing. And in
18:16
a 30 minute Zoom call,
18:19
I spoke zero, which I think everyone will
18:21
find shocking. Yeah, that's true. And you talked
18:23
the whole time and you had a million
18:25
questions of things, angles you liked,
18:28
angles you wanted to do, things
18:30
you were cool to do. You liked
18:32
the multimedia presentation. You liked it being different
18:34
than everyone else's. Yeah. Cause
18:36
you're like, and then you can't really draw comparison cause
18:38
it's apples and oranges. So we can succeed on our
18:40
own or fail on our own. Yeah. And
18:43
then at the end you were like, bird, do you have any, do you
18:45
have anything to say? And I said, I said, yes,
18:47
Thursday. Yeah, that's exactly what you said. Yeah, Thursday. I
18:49
said yes before we had any idea what we were
18:51
doing. Yeah. Then you wrote
18:53
a script. Yeah. You pitched
18:55
your idea to me and Mike, I think. Yeah,
18:58
that's true. And maybe I gave
19:00
a couple ideas, but not a ton. And
19:03
you came up with a script. You wrote a script, sent it
19:05
over to Mike and me. I read it,
19:07
loved it, talked to Mike, kind of punched it up, gave
19:09
it to the writers. The writers punched it up a little
19:11
bit. And, but writers
19:13
punched it up a lot. I got to say the writers on that and
19:16
the writers, Ray, Pat,
19:20
Sarah Tiana, Mike Lawrence,
19:22
Mike Gibbons, Jeff Ross. Yeah, they're great. All the
19:24
people that worked on that roast. I'm sure I'm
19:26
leaving people out. We're fucking phenomenal
19:29
and with us every step of the way. And
19:31
they were pivotal in some of our favorite moments
19:33
in that roast. So the way we looked at
19:35
it was like we were kind of doing like
19:37
a, almost like a weekend update
19:39
thing where like we comment and
19:41
we have images, which was, I
19:43
thought a fun way to do it. It was,
19:46
and it turned out, it turned out
19:48
really fun. Let's talk about the drama going into it.
19:50
Well, yeah, well, let's talk about this. So then they
19:52
were like, well, we have, you have to be at the rehearsal Saturday.
19:55
And I was like, I have a Cincinnati
19:58
show Saturday. like
20:00
a big-ass show, I can't move it. Well,
20:03
when can you get here? I'm like, fucking after
20:05
the show, then you'll miss rehearsal. And
20:07
I'm like, I don't know what to tell you. So
20:09
I zoomed in, I would
20:11
watch the feed, and then I
20:14
watched you with a stand-in go through rehearsal,
20:16
and we had changes in that,
20:18
changing images. But I gotta say, it
20:21
was very exciting. Ladies and gentlemen, Jimmy Carr. Oh,
20:23
what did I tell you? Jimmy Carr on my
20:25
redneck whites. What did I tell you? Tiny couple.
20:28
What did I tell you? Here, sit down
20:30
right here. Good, thank you. Congratulations. Oh,
20:33
thank you. Thank you. Thank you. What was it like?
20:35
He was, well, we were just getting to that. First
20:38
of all, he just did an amazing impression of
20:40
you. Yeah, thank you
20:42
very much. Yes,
20:45
thank you. Can
20:48
I just join you? You're not one of those
20:50
cucks saying, is this going to happen? It
20:54
feels like she's comfortable.
20:57
Thank you. You
20:59
know what else I enjoy? No. These
21:03
two last night drunk were fucking
21:05
awesome. With Zangulous in the mix, it
21:07
was the fucking craziest night. That was one of the kind
21:09
of legendary comedies. That's one of the best nights I've ever
21:12
had at the Comedy Store. And I've had some great nights
21:14
there. It was such a brilliant, like
21:16
in the OR, John Mulaney went up
21:18
and just killed. And then Mark
21:21
Norman went up, Chappelle went up. It
21:24
was then me. Wow.
21:28
Pretty great. Yeah, you. We
21:31
were giving you a lot of facts. Ladies and
21:33
gentlemen, let's calm ourselves down with this guy. Yeah,
21:35
no. What do you want to do,
21:37
your impression of Jimmy for him? Hello,
21:39
mummy. I would
21:41
like to take my spot of tea at the meadow
21:43
today. Right.
21:48
So you're not watched a lot of Downton Abbey, but quite a
21:50
lot of Guy Ritchie films. I have, I have. I'm
21:52
only one Guy Ritchie. Yes, no, no, he's
21:54
late. He goes, he said he goes, Jimmy
21:56
has a bit of a posh accent. I
21:58
go, that wasn't posh. What you
22:01
just did? No. I mean, who
22:03
thought it was going to be? It's
22:05
the craziness. So wait,
22:08
let's talk about the roast for
22:10
a little bit. I am dying
22:12
to deep dive you. Because like, you
22:15
are one of the most elusive, mysterious,
22:17
more lube. The
22:20
mysterious and elusive. Yeah, because when we
22:22
met you, we were... How do you
22:24
say the city that they do the
22:26
festival in Canada? The comedy
22:28
festival. Montreal? How do you say
22:30
it? Montreal. Okay.
22:33
Yeah. It's Montreal. Montreal.
22:36
Well, I was... Well, we'll take it.
22:38
It's Montreal. Montreal. I
22:42
gave him the Canadian pronunciation, which is Montreal,
22:44
and he got very upset. So, you know.
22:46
Okay. You both sound exactly the same to me, but
22:49
I'm fine. Montreal. So
22:51
we first met you probably seven years ago, eight years
22:53
ago in Montreal. And we
22:56
were fascinated that you were
22:58
a person who had already accomplished things in life,
23:00
but were still hungry to get on mics. Like
23:02
you were still showing up
23:05
and going, can I get on the stage? And I remember
23:07
both of us were like, he doesn't
23:09
need to be here. Like you were elusive,
23:11
though. So we were all broke kids trying to
23:13
get money. And you were someone that was not
23:15
looking for money. You were looking... You
23:17
enjoyed stand up, the art of stand up. Yeah, it's
23:19
the... I suppose it's that thing of like, there's no
23:21
equivalent for the gym time, right? Right. You're
23:24
not on stage. You own it, you know, you can sort of... You...
23:27
God, Jerry Seinfeld did a thing the other day. It was
23:29
like, he did the blocks thing with Neil Brennan. Yeah. It's
23:32
like a masterclass. Really? But I mean,
23:34
he was kind of talking about the idea that you get paid, you
23:37
work during the day and you collect the money at night.
23:39
Yeah. I think it might be Chris Rock's line originally, but they...
23:42
So you work and kind of on these things and then you have to
23:44
try them in front of all these. You
23:46
just don't know what's going to hit.
23:48
And because your stuff is so methodical,
23:50
calculated, like it's all very crisp and
23:53
pointed, you know, the setup, like it's
23:55
very, very sharp. I imagine that you
23:57
are a pen to paper person doing
23:59
this, right? There's no way that it doesn't
24:01
feel like loose when you do it Yeah, but it's
24:03
weird when you start in comedy like all the stuff
24:05
that I loved was really loose storytelling Yeah, and then
24:07
I can't I don't have that I've got a fastball
24:09
Yeah And then I'm trying to expand like the thing
24:11
that I've been doing the last couple years that the
24:13
last special trying to expand that Kind of slightly longer
24:15
bits. Uh-huh Cuz I love it
24:18
when other people do it sure. Thank you But
24:20
something I do I mean, you know, I love that thing
24:22
of like going the idea of going out there with you
24:24
know One story and doing
24:26
an hour that'll last me 20 seconds
24:29
I have one story and I've done 25 years I'll
24:34
tell you what I loved the the improv the
24:37
you know that history the improv thing where you
24:39
did the original set that you Did the fun
24:41
when you got past? Oh, yeah, that was fantastic.
24:44
I just loved it But you could sort
24:46
of see the written, you know Kind of the origins kind
24:49
of that thing of like when you see someone the great
24:51
thing about our job is you kind of get better As
24:53
you got like no no one that I love in comedy.
24:55
Everyone does the best work in their 50s I've
24:58
done this many times. It's not unlike said guys.
25:00
That's inspiring too I think you're so especially if
25:02
you're looking at your 50s you go like oh,
25:04
that's when everyone's at their best Yeah And it's
25:06
that thing of like you go you can't you
25:09
get better at the craftsmanship of it like being
25:11
good at something and like Working at it and
25:13
I don't know. It's like it's really
25:15
fun to get up. I mean I found that the roast last
25:17
night I had such a brilliant time.
25:19
Did you as for me? I was trying to reverse
25:22
engineer, you know anything about American football Yeah, so I
25:24
was going Tom Brady's like nothing to me.
25:26
Yeah I mean, he's very handsome, but I'm not
25:28
a gay guy despite being European and but also
25:30
he's like and he's a footballer And he's one
25:32
of the quarterbacks. Oh You
25:35
mean anything to me? So I'm trying to reverse engineer
25:37
the jokes in my head and going oh that must
25:39
mean that guy was okay I
25:41
could do it. What was your favorite joke
25:44
from the night last night? Um, Nikki Glazers
25:46
Nikki Glazers to you. I really
25:48
I'm a huge fan of your joke Made
25:50
me laugh for I
25:53
would say I'm still laughing at it now
25:57
So good. Yeah, it was totally good
26:00
I mean there was there was a few incredibly
26:02
good lines. There was so many good lines. Her
26:04
set I thought was just a That was a
26:06
master class set in a roasting. Yeah, like it
26:09
was perfectly done I wouldn't change
26:11
the lines the cadence the pot
26:13
everything. It was just structurally everything
26:16
was perfect about it It was
26:18
fantastic. Tony. I had
26:20
this thing where I was like I We've
26:23
been around Tony for so
26:25
long. Yeah, and Tony basically
26:28
lives in Roast
26:30
mode He's somebody who like a lot
26:32
like you were like the jokes just keep so
26:34
you sit with Tony in the green room Or
26:36
you go to lunch with Tony and he is
26:38
like he's just always roasting people, right? Like when
26:41
I was in Montreal when I first met Tony,
26:43
yeah, he was like it was roast battle. It
26:45
was that year Yeah, and he was just like
26:47
hanging out like pitching ideas constantly Yeah being around
26:49
like we've been around him so much. I think
26:51
it's often that thing though with your friends Yes
26:53
Where you're around them and you see them and
26:55
then suddenly they do something like that and you
26:57
go well I knew he was capable of that.
26:59
Yeah, I think America just found out that's exactly
27:01
right Even the Kill Tony thing is like I
27:04
mean, it's selling out Madison Square Garden Yeah, great.
27:06
This is amazing. I think like the name recognition
27:08
and the respect. Yeah, I think it just happened
27:10
last night I think so too. I mean less
27:12
you know after before we sat down Next to
27:14
me I was like this is so cool that
27:16
we've watched you for years be great at
27:19
this And then you just got you had
27:21
an opportunity and you just knocked
27:23
it out of the park Like everybody saw the
27:25
brass neck of him to make jokes about being
27:27
short the brass neck
27:31
What is he four foot two? Yeah,
27:35
he's not a big man joke about me. It looks
27:37
like the liver King Met
27:40
the Burger King. Oh, yeah, and has the
27:42
liver of Rodney King got beat up by
27:44
Martin Luther Whatever the fuck I was like,
27:48
god damn it. Yeah, that was amazing But
27:50
my only thing I'm only take back and
27:52
if you watch the special, it's super enjoyable
27:54
is I read Everyone's jokes
27:57
as they were doing them because I was reading the
27:59
process So the whole you're saying
28:02
this because you think we don't know that.
28:04
Oh, no. No, we saw it.
28:06
Oh, seriously Yeah, oh no, I was gonna inquire
28:08
as to your reading age When
28:10
I got here, I think you're really coming along.
28:12
I just saw the clip of Bert and with
28:15
Tony doing it birth going Yeah,
28:18
it looks like he's praying He
28:21
looks like he's quietly praying Because
28:25
I would say like I was watching and there's a
28:27
bit of you that watches and you know from the
28:29
audience as a comic going That's good. That's good. That's
28:31
great line. Okay, you know, you're kind of you're kind
28:33
of analyzing I think I wish I was up there
28:35
and I was thinking oh my god It must be
28:38
so hard when you're sat there and
28:40
someone's just eviscerated. Yeah, and then And
28:43
then you kind of you've got we've got
28:45
another half an hour to wait. We said
28:48
that we said when Nikki was up it
28:50
goes Kevin
28:52
Jeff Drew Bledsoe who
28:54
fucking murdered? Nikki destroys and Tom and I
28:56
looked at each other and Tom goes we're
28:58
gonna bomb Because our
29:01
thing wasn't that what everyone else was doing and
29:03
people don't know that they didn't know that we
29:05
were we weren't asked to like Roast
29:07
traditionally, we're asked to do this different thing I
29:10
was like, I don't know if this is gonna
29:12
be well received like the monitor and it was
29:14
great It's like it's as you're watching it as
29:16
a punter. Yeah in the audience you go. Yeah,
29:18
it's like a different speed Yeah, and it's a
29:20
very long show So actually doing something that's a
29:22
different and you know Like so you're watching the
29:24
roasting for like, you know an hour and you
29:26
go well, everything's been hit on We
29:28
understand his wife has gone and he lost some
29:31
money in big and then you go it's nice
29:33
to have a little okay There's another thing like
29:35
a great line. It's really helped me understand my
29:37
wife. Oh, yeah Psychopically,
29:39
I got a really big laugh. Yeah Not
29:42
from your wife Yeah,
29:45
you know who got no you probably didn't see it You
29:47
know who did the best job of the night and no
29:49
one knows Alonso Bowden really
29:52
Alonso did the warm-up and
29:54
boat I was sitting with Shane
29:58
Gillis and we both kind of
30:00
went, this is an impossible gig. There's 20,000 people
30:02
in the arena. Everyone's up and chatting
30:05
and no one is, the room is
30:07
so unfocused. And he came on and
30:09
he did material. And he, I mean,
30:11
he's such a pro. He's a, he just got them.
30:13
He's a beast and it's all new stuff. The stuff
30:15
I've never, I know him very well. But like that
30:18
was before they even started doing the thing.
30:20
But like the setup was so right. Yeah.
30:23
And I got to say like, you know, when
30:25
you host the thing too, you
30:27
can kind of be personality
30:29
versus material. I
30:32
thought Kevin fucking killed. You
30:34
know what I mean? Like he had
30:36
great material. He had great energy. He
30:38
always kept it fun and funny. He
30:40
would kind of just a very generous
30:42
laugh. That's one of the things. He
30:44
is infectious. He was great. Legit goddamn
30:46
movie star. Yeah. Like one machine
30:48
movie. That didn't count. Like a proper,
30:51
no proper general release. Like people went
30:53
to see, they bought tickets. Yes. Real
30:56
movie. Yeah. No. Real
30:59
revenue. Not like whatever. You made a
31:01
thing for YouTube. The, not that. A
31:04
real one. Yes. A real one. I
31:07
was reading his prompter and he would go. Yes,
31:09
we know. It
31:11
was on television. He
31:14
would go off book and I was
31:17
getting nervous for the prompter guy. Cause you'd see the
31:19
prompter guy scroll and then scroll back and scroll back
31:21
and back and back. Kevin would come back and hit
31:23
the thing that was on the screen. Kevin
31:26
murdered. He was great. He was really great. But when, when
31:28
Nikki went up, we thought we were going to bomb. And
31:31
then God bless Kim Kardashian. Yeah.
31:34
For fucking. Oh God. I didn't
31:36
understand that for a sec. I thought like, were they booing
31:38
the concept of Hollywood? They kind of were. It's what they
31:40
were booing. Cause this is one thing we figured out. I
31:42
don't know if it registered to you. That
31:45
that audience, they were football
31:47
fans. They were Tom Brady
31:49
and professional football fans. When
31:51
comedians walked out initially,
31:55
you know, at most comedy events, people
31:58
know the comedians. Comedians. got
32:00
like nothing. They went mostly when they do
32:03
a roast. Yeah it's in a hotel ballroom.
32:05
Not on a ring. I know. Like on
32:07
a Sunday afternoon. They were there. I mean
32:09
they were there. They were there for Brady
32:11
guys. Pretty famous. Yeah he's pretty famous. They
32:13
were there for Tom and for for Patriots
32:15
and for football players and so that
32:17
was like a thing that you I picked up on I
32:19
was like oh they're and we and also
32:21
like the way they reacted to jokes and I think
32:23
she symbolized everything that
32:26
fan base kind of hates right and
32:29
so I thought she did pretty well
32:31
I've got to say here like she's
32:33
like she's good news this is
32:35
why this is why this is something that
32:37
I kept noticing too because in seeing prompter
32:39
and watching all the acts one of the
32:41
things that you pick up on was the
32:44
people that didn't do well
32:46
and there were a few that like it was
32:49
I'm saying like the regular yeah roasting
32:51
was was it
32:53
wasn't because of them for the
32:56
material is that they kept going off
32:58
script yeah cuz we would dream
33:00
it's casual yeah we read and they commit
33:02
to the bit it would read like the
33:04
top line and you're like okay and then
33:06
and they don't realize see we know how
33:08
important economy of words and like the you
33:10
got to say this before this is the
33:12
connective tissue to that and they would go
33:14
first line and then I would watch them
33:17
like riff on that and then try to pick
33:19
up and you're like yeah it doesn't work like
33:21
that you have to stick to the
33:23
whole thing for the thing at the end to pay
33:25
off yeah I thought I thought Kim Tedish did a
33:27
great job I mean no but that joke is why
33:29
I wouldn't have told anyone oh what am I to
33:31
say the reason the reason I think she was able
33:34
to which because she ended up getting a big
33:37
couple big pops is
33:39
because she stayed in the pocket so to get booed
33:41
like that and to just sit with it yes okay
33:43
yeah and then to do it the confidence
33:46
yeah yeah like to get booed by
33:48
that many people it's like most people
33:50
would crumble of course people would Affleck
33:53
which is where it's an industry term it's where you
33:56
get dry mouth you can't your
33:58
your veneers stick to Take the
34:00
ellipse and you can't speak. Think of some
34:02
of comedy duos who got it done. Keon
34:04
Peale, Sam Morrell, Mark
34:06
Norman, Shane Gillis, Matt
34:09
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bears I Thought
36:39
his whole bit by the way, I was convinced I
36:41
was ashamed going I tell you what's gonna happen He's
36:44
gonna do this bit about a guy Talking
36:47
shit online and the guy's gonna be Matt Damon
36:49
and he's gonna be in the audience and
36:52
then they're gonna do a bit together Because otherwise this
36:54
would be insane. Yeah, and then he walked off and
36:56
I went well, I was wrong about
36:58
yeah Yeah, but that's more to my point
37:01
is that he was Completely
37:03
jumping off of that script man
37:05
Like he would stay he would get the
37:08
gist of it and then just
37:10
we were like reading it We're like, why
37:12
is he jumping off and then it
37:14
would go Worse and
37:17
then he would just jump ahead to the next thing So he I
37:19
don't know if it was nerves or
37:21
like or the fact like we're so used to do it
37:23
Maybe also he passed on rehearsal and didn't want to come
37:25
to that or something But that's why I
37:27
think he'd probably didn't want to come to rehearsal because
37:29
he didn't want to be roasted Maybe
37:32
so it's that thing. Did they tell you Kim Kardashian was
37:34
gonna be there I knew it
37:36
because I went to rehearsal and I saw
37:38
her face on a picture rehearsed because watching
37:40
it wouldn't think That doesn't
37:42
come across Can I tell you I killed
37:44
it in rehearsal and then we did our rehearsal that morning I
37:46
stumbled a couple lines and I was like motherfucker. I've
37:49
done this. I've hosted so many TV shows I'm
37:51
finally prompt her but I was like what the
37:53
fuck and I realized When
37:56
we started the bit that there were
37:58
so many laughs in between that you didn't have
38:00
to run through it. You could take your time and say
38:02
the sentence. And I was like, Oh, well, we got our
38:04
first laugh. I went, okay, I don't, I
38:06
have to wait for the laughter to end to say my
38:08
next line. And it's a, it's a long laugh in that
38:10
room as well. Cause it's a big room. I don't know
38:12
if you used to be rooms, but it's a big room.
38:14
Yeah. I thought I did think
38:17
like as an event, it was such a great thing to
38:19
be at. Yeah. Just kind of,
38:21
It was a fun thing. It was long as
38:23
shit, Jimmy. Like we were, when we were like,
38:26
wait, okay. And then when I found out we
38:28
were at least front load, like we were in
38:30
the first part of the show, like great. But
38:32
then sitting there for another two fucking hours. Also
38:34
you go, Ron Burgundy's just
38:36
been on. Oh man. What?
38:38
Who's going on after that? Yeah.
38:42
That's, Bill Belichick. Yeah. They
38:44
had that. And he kind of did follow that. He murdered.
38:46
He murdered. He's so, he, you know why I, He's not
38:48
the only patriot that murdered. This
38:51
is why. There's the job. Again, I had to
38:53
properly reverse engineer. Oh yes. The man with the,
38:56
Yes. He was a bit murdery. He was. Yeah.
38:58
And that's frowned upon. Yes. It is.
39:01
It is. I was wondering if you, what, cause
39:04
some people mug when they say
39:07
jokes, some people don't, some
39:10
people are very dry and Bill Belichick
39:12
was so dry that
39:14
I was like, that is a comedy style in
39:17
and of itself. Yeah. He was like, He
39:19
was his, he was like, He plays his vagina.
39:21
He was, he was like Bob Newhart style. Yeah.
39:24
Like he was like, He
39:26
didn't tell me a thing about Bob Newhart recently that I
39:28
kind of blew my mind, the button down comedy of Bob
39:30
Newhart. He was working in an office. That
39:32
was his second time. I think
39:35
it was his first time doing comedy as the recording of the
39:37
album. What? He'd
39:40
never done comedy. He wrote this thing. He went to
39:42
a place and performed it. They taped it and they
39:44
put it out. He's like,
39:46
it blew my mind. Like it's like,
39:50
Is that not insane? Yeah. I
39:52
mean, people probably don't, it's a weird thing. I
39:55
always think that everything goes back into the pop
39:57
with comedy. Like people don't particularly revere or remember
39:59
people A bygone age, but
40:01
Bob Newhart was just fantastic. Fantastic. Really?
40:04
But that first record apparently had the other before. That's
40:06
really amazing. Yeah, that's amazing. Well, I should
40:09
post my first time doing stand-up. Maybe
40:11
I'll... Yeah. Man, it
40:14
was so bad. No, that's... My
40:16
first joke that worked was about jerking off
40:18
in a cheeseburger. Into one? No,
40:21
with one. I put it around my dick and jerked off
40:23
with a cheeseburger around my dick. Okay. And
40:25
that was like a big... Where's my closer? That
40:28
was your closer? I
40:30
didn't know what stand-up was, so I just was telling the
40:32
most revealing stories I could about myself. Yeah. And
40:34
did they make you leave In-N-Out? No, but I took... They
40:37
should have called it In-N-Out if they didn't want people to
40:39
do that. Do
40:42
you talk about animal style? Oh,
40:45
God. I don't know if these are
40:47
in my bit. Yeah.
40:50
I said no mail. I
40:55
mean, how much of a problem do
40:57
you have with food before you fuck
40:59
a burger? I mean, I'm not a
41:01
psychiatrist, but that feels like this
41:03
is the conversation before the intervention. Right?
41:07
Oh, I love food. No,
41:09
no. You don't understand. Maybe
41:16
I won't post it. Wait,
41:18
what was your first set like? It
41:20
was... I mean, it was a
41:22
weird thing where you go, I think before... Set
41:25
the scene. Set the scene. Because I know you
41:27
were a corporate guy. Yeah, I was working kind
41:29
of in an office. I kind of fell into
41:31
this job in marketing for a big oil company.
41:34
And I was kind of really... Yeah, but you were
41:36
the runner of a company. No, no, no. I
41:39
go when I think of Jimmy Carr, I think of big oil
41:41
rigs and Saudi shakes and BP and fucking handshakes
41:45
and Vries and nice watches.
41:47
And then, is that real? Yeah,
41:49
I mean, ish. I mean, it was like, I always
41:51
think that thing in life, like the good is the enemy of the best. I
41:54
had a good job and it was fine and it was like what you
41:56
were supposed to do next. The enemy of the best. That's
41:58
a great fucking... Yeah, but it's
42:00
often that thing of like if life is good enough. Sometimes
42:03
you don't take the risk Sometimes you
42:05
can't you know, it's when you've got nothing that's kind
42:07
of an advantage in life If you're listening to this
42:09
and you think oh my god, I've just got I
42:11
got nothing you've got nothing to lose Yeah, it's like
42:13
you can you sometimes when it things are kind of
42:15
okay, you stay in the okay thing Yeah, and
42:17
it was it was certainly okay. It was an okay life, but
42:19
I was maybe mid 20s So
42:22
it kind of finished University and like got
42:25
this corporate job and it was all going right and
42:27
you could see I could see This is such a
42:29
clear path and then I left
42:31
to join the circus I was like, you know, yo
42:33
ho ho a pirate's life for me and this thing
42:35
of like I started going to comedy more and
42:37
more Cuz I was a bit I wasn't depressed. I was like
42:40
sad Yeah, the thing of like
42:42
depression is serotonin. Yeah balance in your brain is
42:44
very serious medical condition Sad is when it's circumstance
42:47
and when it's just circumstantial, it's your fault and you
42:49
can do something about it It's good
42:51
news to be sad And then I just kind of started
42:53
going to comedy liked it and then you
42:55
know that like almost like the reverse of your career You
42:58
start seeing people in like really big venues doing two hours
43:01
and they're great And then you start going to clubs
43:03
and they're doing 20 minutes and you go. Oh my god I could never
43:05
do that and then you go to tiny blake Little
43:07
call-in places above a bar and you go I
43:10
could do that. Yeah, and then your career is
43:12
finding your way back to the big Thank you.
43:14
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah First time
43:16
I was one-liners. I just could write one-liners. I could
43:18
think like that You know, it's a version of who
43:20
you are, right? Yeah, the first time
43:22
was still like Reminiscent
43:25
of what we know. Yeah you Yeah,
43:27
I think so. Yeah, I think it was like like little wordplay things
43:29
like Yeah,
43:32
I was There's lots of stuff about
43:34
being kind of very middle class like lots of stuff about you
43:37
know But your middle class I've kind of
43:39
I perceived as being middle class. What's that?
43:43
In Britain we have we have class like
43:45
you have race we have like a big
43:47
kind of class system And yes, it's slightly
43:49
odd. I'm perceived as being quite posh. Yeah,
43:51
well like upper class Yes, but actually I
43:54
met my parents are Irish immigrants to Ireland.
43:56
So we only came over in the early
43:58
70s. So for work So it's
44:00
that thing of like I know what I am but I also know
44:02
how I'm perceived. We think you kind of and That's
44:05
really helpful in show because no Brits
44:07
are so in tune with the class
44:10
system there do most Brits Perceive
44:13
you as posh or know that you're middle class.
44:15
No, they would they would perceive me as being
44:17
posh posh Yeah, okay, because I'm over
44:19
educated or whatever You know what you went to
44:21
that university if you've got that thing because it
44:23
used to be I mean It's not so much
44:25
anymore because university has become like a luxury item
44:27
Yeah, it might as well be a Louvert on
44:29
handbag now Yeah, or a Porsche but you got
44:31
used to be it was a kind of a
44:33
meritocracy and there was social mobility in that you
44:35
could Sort of change your class by going to
44:37
a certain school, right and hope for a better
44:39
job and what I mean Yeah, it was good.
44:41
So you are you this still has
44:43
a Irish immigrant mentality I
44:46
think there's something about like the Irish. There's
44:48
something about the There's
44:51
a Morrissey song Irish blood English heart There's something about
44:53
that where there's a lot of there's a
44:55
lot of us that have gone into the
44:57
creative thing And it's a I
44:59
don't know if there's there's something to being other
45:03
Because you see things in a slightly different way. Yeah,
45:05
I think that can be perceived Like
45:08
I always felt other even though I probably fit
45:10
in I always felt other I always
45:12
felt I've always felt other I even went to
45:14
that party the other day that I said to
45:16
Ted I go I don't belong here Like
45:19
and I felt that too By
45:23
our security Should he be here?
45:27
we So that
45:29
fitting in thing is like it's like Alan.
45:31
Haivi gave me the best known, you know
45:33
Alan Yeah, old school is amazing comic. But
45:36
you know comedy work work
45:38
out for ourselves putting it together That's
45:40
good. It's just like the opposite of being an actor right
45:42
if you're an actor and You're
45:45
getting the part of James Bond One
45:48
guy can get that role and What's
45:50
our job we escape competition
45:53
through authenticity That
45:55
you absolutely you are yourself. No one
45:57
else could be you or would
46:00
want to be. But you know what
46:03
I mean? It's like you do your thing. And even
46:05
though you guys are very different, you're very different stylistically
46:08
on stage. And it's different styles.
46:10
Yeah, there's a crossover of fans, but
46:12
actually very different styles of comedy. We're
46:15
all doing our little thing. Who did I
46:17
see last night? Mark
46:19
Norman was at the store. And
46:22
he's one line ago. I'm a one line ago. But it's
46:24
so different. Whatever you bring to
46:27
that is like your thing. It's yours. Yeah. It's kind of
46:29
that thing of like just being yourself seems like that thing
46:32
of like the world that we live in now,
46:34
like the podcasting thing is huge
46:36
because people are just being authentic. Where else
46:38
do you get that you watch the news
46:40
and people are speaking this weird language that
46:42
no one speaks like that. What are you
46:44
talking about? Yeah, what can I ask you
46:46
a weird side question? I'd be amazed if
46:48
you didn't. How do you feel
46:51
about Oliver Cromwell? What
46:54
in terms of like, as
46:56
someone with Irish parents who
46:59
was horrific in Ireland, but yet they have
47:01
a statue of him up in London. And
47:04
he's and they like and he's all about this.
47:06
Like I'm curious. I'm dying. I'm
47:08
obsessed with Oliver Cromwell right now. Really? You know
47:10
the phrase warts and all is for Oliver Cromwell.
47:12
Yeah, he had him on his face. Yeah, but
47:14
it was it's from the painting. Yeah.
47:16
So when you used to get your portrait painted, that was
47:18
the day if you were an important person, you'd have your
47:21
portrait done. And they would always make you look a little
47:23
bit more beautiful than you were because you paint them and
47:25
whatever. So everyone was. And
47:27
when he was painted, he famously said, I warts and
47:29
all. I want to look how I look. Oliver
47:32
Cromwell is the guy who killed King Charles because
47:35
he was he was they were
47:37
all about he's actually considered a dictator
47:39
because he had the military rise up
47:41
against the king who I think King
47:43
Charles. But he was did
47:45
dodge him and then Oliver Cromwell got him
47:47
and beheaded him got rid of the monarchy. And
47:50
then but it was horrible Ireland. And he was
47:52
very pivotal. They put up a statue of him.
47:54
And I think in like the 70s or maybe
47:56
the 80s in London, everyone felt
47:58
one of two ways. It's like fucking
48:01
Winston Churchill hated
48:03
Oliver Cromwell, hated Oliver Cromwell. And there was
48:05
an old prime minister that paid for the
48:07
statute, he commissioned the statute, he loved Oliver
48:10
Cromwell. I was curious as an Irish person,
48:13
what person of Irish descent, how you
48:15
felt about Oliver Cromwell? Because it's, Oliver
48:17
Cromwell's a curse word in Ireland, correct?
48:19
Not really, I mean, I don't think, I think it's like most
48:21
people are kind of through that now in terms of like, you
48:24
know, I mean, they call it the troubles, but there was a
48:26
civil war. I mean, it was like, it was awful. And
48:28
they managed to find a piece somehow. So
48:31
it's kind of, it's, I think most people
48:33
are, there's a generation now that are kind
48:35
of, have never really seen that. Really? It
48:37
used to be so, it was like, I mean,
48:40
you know, things were blowing up in London
48:42
when I was a kid. I remember my
48:44
mother, my mother had a very strong Irish
48:46
accent. And I remember, like we
48:48
went into a store, like the
48:51
local store to buy newspapers and candy or
48:53
whatever. And the guy behind the
48:55
counter said, these
48:59
Irish, there'd been some bombing. And
49:01
the guy said, oh, these Irish, they
49:05
should be killed along with their children. And
49:08
my mother, and I'd never seen it before, just fucking
49:10
eviscerated the guy. Really?
49:12
Just like in front of a bunch of people, just crazy
49:16
the guy. Wow. It's
49:18
something that we don't really understand is that
49:21
whole, like, I think
49:23
if you ask most Americans, what
49:27
Great Britain is, they don't know what that is. I
49:29
don't think they know what London is, the UK or
49:31
England. Oh, even the UK is different, yeah. Yeah, like
49:33
all of that is so, it's
49:35
amazing that it's like the same way you feel about football, we
49:37
feel about the rest of the world. Yeah, but
49:39
I mean, America is so huge. You've
49:42
got so much going on here. You know, people often
49:44
do that thing of going, oh, America's got no passports.
49:46
You go, yeah. But if you had Alaska
49:49
and Texas and Florida
49:51
and Hawaii, and there's
49:54
a lot of places to go before you need to leave. There's a
49:56
lot of boxes to take before you got to get to Europe. It's
49:59
a weird thing with the... The statues thing, I would feel fine
50:01
about it. I think statues are good. I think history
50:03
is a good thing. I think if it reminds people
50:05
then great. And you just
50:08
need to, you know, everything's in
50:10
context. Yeah. When you started
50:12
doing comedy clubs, cause we both started in comedy
50:14
clubs and you would, I was not good at
50:16
recognizing morons. Like I would tether up
50:18
to morons quick. Tom is really good
50:20
at picking out morons. Like he's like, fuck
50:22
that guy, he's an idiot. He knows he's
50:24
saying this, yeah. Yeah. Why, what
50:26
am I saying? But
50:28
like, but like, were you, cause you were
50:30
like, you came from a different world. I still don't think he
50:33
knows you're saying that. Okay.
50:35
Okay. So would you... So
50:37
you're saying Tom's good at picking out
50:39
morons. He's really good at picking out
50:41
morons. Oh, no, I'm not picking out
50:44
morons. And there you saw the penny
50:46
drop in perhaps the slowest of all
50:48
motions. I
50:50
thought of morons. Yeah. The
50:54
fact that you didn't get a joke about being a moron, you
50:58
have to make me another drink. So
51:01
wait, did you suffer? So we
51:03
take two drinks away. What's
51:06
the phrase, suffer fools lightly? Suffer
51:08
fools gladly. Is that what it is?
51:10
Yeah, but go on, what's the... Did you... What
51:12
do you mean? Like other comics that were... Yeah, when you go
51:14
back... I was convinced everyone was
51:16
a genius. Really? Because you'd see guys
51:19
that were doing 20 minutes that they'd, I didn't know, they'd be doing
51:21
the same 20 minutes for 10 years. Sure. And
51:23
they were working on a sitcom or they were writing
51:25
a movie and I was going, I need to work
51:27
a bit hard. I need to do a bit more.
51:29
These guys are on it. And then you don't realize,
51:31
yeah, they weren't doing anything. They were
51:33
talking a good game. There's a lot of people that talk a
51:35
good game. And then you go, yeah, but
51:38
you don't kind of, you're doing the same thing. Or
51:40
guys that had one trick. Then they
51:42
could write one type of joke, but they couldn't write the other type
51:44
of joke. They could write a pullback reveal,
51:46
but they couldn't do anything else. Yeah.
51:49
I would think that you would walk
51:51
into a green room very complicated. I walked into
51:53
the comedy store in London. I've been
51:55
doing standup for like probably 14 years, 15
51:58
years. And those guys got... in
52:00
my head so hard about, about
52:03
like, because there's, I guess
52:05
the comedy store in London's like the place. Yeah,
52:08
I mean, not to the same, I don't think it's, it's
52:10
not as good as, let's be honest, the
52:13
comedy store in Los Angeles and the comedy
52:15
seller in New York, it's, that's quite a
52:17
unique thing of like, people turn
52:19
up to work on stuff that
52:21
are huge comics, and it's every
52:24
single night of the week, it's,
52:26
they're phenomenal places. And
52:28
I guess mothership is becoming that. Yeah, you've done
52:30
spot on there. Yeah, I mean, your podcast with
52:33
Rogan's amazing, by the way, it was really good
52:35
fun. I loved it. I get stuck on
52:37
things where like, and they get stuck in my head where
52:39
I think about it a lot. And it,
52:41
you know, yeah, you said something about that I can't stop
52:43
thinking about. A lot
52:45
of people play the guitar. A
52:48
lot of people love music. And then they also play
52:50
music for fun. They have fun, they really enjoy
52:52
it. They're not going to be a musician. They're
52:54
not going to be doing, but no one does that
52:56
with comedy. And you were saying there
52:58
should be an accessibility to comedy. People love comedy.
53:00
They should do comedy. They should learn comedy. The same
53:02
way you would learn the guitar. Why wouldn't you
53:04
want to learn comedy? I thought it was really a
53:07
fucking profound statement. Well, I'm working on the thing
53:09
at the moment, my friend, Amanda Baker and Abi Grant,
53:11
we're working on a, like a book and maybe a
53:13
course about like teaching it. Because I
53:15
do think it's like, there's a lot of mystery
53:17
around comedy, like in green rooms and things like,
53:20
that guy's just a genius. And
53:22
you go, well, he's not a genius. He's doing
53:24
something there. And if you break it down, and
53:26
sometimes I think there's slightly the, there's, there's an
53:29
illusion that people go, well, it just comes to
53:31
me on stage. You go, no, you're writing, but
53:33
that's where you're writing. That's where you're writing. Yeah.
53:36
I've always resented the, um, the, when people talk about,
53:38
uh, like
53:40
they're like this, this guy's on another level.
53:42
And I'm like, no, there's
53:45
a level of proficiency that you get
53:47
to. And then it's kind
53:49
of like it becomes what your
53:52
taste is when they start talking about, like,
53:54
I just feel like after a certain amount
53:56
of time, there's a number of people that
53:58
get to a very. proficient level and
54:01
to me I see
54:03
everybody at that level as essentially the
54:05
same. I just I
54:07
kind of you have your taste where
54:10
but it I don't feel like
54:12
that person is a genius. I
54:15
think the genius thing's a bit overused
54:17
as well. It is. On like that
54:19
thing of like you go there's there's
54:21
pure genius there's you know I don't
54:23
know a bark or a vernumin or
54:25
something and then there's hyper accelerated rationality
54:28
which I think is what comics have a lot of
54:30
the time. When we're in stage on stage I think
54:32
the bit that works sometimes you think of a joke
54:34
but then when you're on stage in front of people
54:36
your mind goes at a weird speed and
54:38
your subconscious just throws something out that you're like the
54:40
little tag on the end of it that you go
54:43
oh where did that come from? Yeah. Or you're chatting
54:45
to an audience member it's like it comes that
54:47
quick but again I think it's like being in that
54:50
in that state. I do think that thing of like
54:52
teaching it because kids what do you get from stand-up
54:54
comedy? You get to speak in your
54:56
own voice. The tragedy that so many people live
54:58
and die without ever hearing their own authentic voice.
55:00
The kids this is really big in the United
55:02
States. I don't know if you have but you
55:05
must have a version of it but like the
55:08
kids that would do Borat
55:11
impressions and then that would become
55:13
their personality. Yeah. Like it was
55:15
like an Ace Ventura impression in high school
55:17
and then that was their personality. Alrighty then.
55:20
Like then and they never learned comedy they
55:22
learned how to be funny by watching a
55:24
movie and emulating that as opposed to finding
55:27
your authentic voice is so fucking cool. It's
55:29
almost like a first step right? I mean
55:31
those kids that were doing that like when
55:33
you look back you go oh they're kind
55:36
of like toying with how to
55:38
do comedy. And they're drawn to the joy of it.
55:40
Yeah. You know because the the joy of comedy is
55:42
like I think the reason we all do it
55:44
it's it's a it's kind of a
55:46
people come and they need it. Yes. I think
55:48
that's something that we don't really talk about much because
55:50
we sound very you know up ourselves but
55:53
the idea of going some people come to comedy and that
55:55
they've had they've got a tough life and
55:57
they got a tough job and a tough family situation and then you
55:59
come out. And they need a couple of hours off from that to
56:01
just laugh at this guy and this guy is Like
56:04
the freedom to speak and to say what you
56:06
want. Yes on stage is kind of oh I
56:09
felt it I felt it with you the
56:11
first time I saw you to stand up
56:13
But I remember Tom had said you've got
56:15
to see him. He's so fucking good and
56:17
it was that Montreal and and I the
56:20
joy of Seeing
56:22
something you've never seen before seeing
56:24
someone do it proficiently and it
56:26
being comedy and being really surprised I
56:29
love that so much when you're like like oh
56:31
shut like and it's and even it being a
56:33
comic you're like this is Fucking next-level.
56:36
I mean you had your clipboard on stage in
56:38
the roast battles You were
56:40
destroying people and I was like god.
56:42
I know how the tricks done I
56:44
don't know how he's doing it But isn't it
56:46
a weird thing with the there's a perfect mix
56:48
of stand-up where you go especially with storytelling I
56:50
think even more so than what I do like
56:52
the dopamine here if you don't quite know where
56:55
the laugh is coming I mean, you know, there's gonna
56:57
be a laugh. Yeah, but you don't quite know where
56:59
it's coming That's and then you have the serotonin, you
57:02
know, the joy of the serotonin is great
57:04
So it's like that thing of it's a
57:06
it's real joy Real joy as
57:08
opposed to you know, it's just so many things in our lives that are
57:10
like, you know Drinking drugs is kind of
57:12
a proxy for joy. Yes, but you go No,
57:15
he said really the thing that I
57:18
live for in comedy in a
57:21
Feature film in any type of storytelling
57:23
that I consume. I'm sure I just
57:25
want to be surprised That's it. Like
57:28
it's a it's actually sounds small It's it's
57:30
a big ask because your your experiences your
57:33
mind other things you've consumed fill
57:35
your mind with like Expectations you're
57:37
to get a surprise whether it's in
57:39
a joke or a twist But
57:42
isn't that what I mean every joke when you break it
57:44
down. Yes, and every joke is the it's the The
57:47
sudden revelation of a previously concealed fact. Yes It's
57:49
like you tell two stories and in the first
57:51
story you're just gonna go this way and it
57:53
goes another way and The rug
57:55
is pulled and you know, the most simplistic someone falls
57:57
over. Yes, or someone should be right
58:00
wearing a shirt and then not. Yes. By
58:02
the way, this is how good Nikki Glaser did last night. Ready?
58:05
Yeah. Georgia's been calling me all
58:08
day. Georgia's friends watch the roast and
58:11
all they said to Georgia, you
58:13
know Nikki Glaser. Really? And they're
58:15
like, that's how good, and Georgia called me this morning and I
58:17
was picking up Isla from school. She
58:19
called it sick. Georgia goes, hey,
58:21
I hadn't watched a roast. Nikki
58:24
Glaser murdered, huh? And I was like,
58:26
it's funny, my daughter speaks in comedy terms. That's how close she
58:28
is to comedy. I said she fucking destroyed. She goes, tell
58:30
me some of her jokes. And so I was telling her and
58:32
she was like, yeah, all my friends, all my friends are
58:34
like Nikki Glaser this and Nikki Glaser that. And then they saw
58:37
a picture of me and Nikki Glaser and like, you know
58:39
her. And I was like, she was
58:41
like, I had to keep on the DL dad,
58:43
like it's but Georgia, all her girlfriends are obsessed
58:45
with Nikki Glaser right now. She fucking killed. Isn't
58:47
that crazy? I love that thing though. Like
58:49
when it pops for someone. Yeah. Like I always think
58:51
that thing about like, you can tell when you've got
58:54
like frenemies or real friends. Yeah. Because
58:56
there's some people in comedy that you're like, sometimes maybe
58:58
a bit too close to and there might be a
59:00
bit of jealousy. And that thing of like the, you
59:02
know, comparison is the thief of joy. But when it
59:04
happens for someone and you go, yes, yeah, I mean,
59:07
the last one probably before this,
59:09
I mean, hopefully Tony and and
59:12
and she get get Nikki get to that kind
59:14
of next level because of this. And that's why
59:16
we're but Shane Gillis. Yeah. The last
59:18
one where every whole industry went. Yes.
59:21
Yes. It's the weird thing like the
59:23
upside of the down. I was chatting to Neil Brennan about this
59:25
of going when you get canceled or when you get dragged online,
59:28
there's an upside. And the upside is the people that
59:30
are your people, it's a chance to
59:32
root for you. Yes. It's a
59:35
chance to go. No, that's my guy. That's the guy.
59:37
When it happens for Shane, it's like he's like
59:39
everyone's like everyone's. Shane had a different Shane had
59:41
a different because he was no one's guy yet.
59:44
He was no one's guy who's so young. He
59:46
was no one's guy. And Shane
59:48
had to get the people to like,
59:52
like he got canceled before he had the
59:54
people. Yeah. He had to get
59:56
the people and as they got the people, then they started. And
59:58
I mean, it's a really crazy way to be canceled. before
1:00:00
you were even famous. Like you dealt with
1:00:02
shit. You got it out of the way early, didn't you? Yeah, you
1:00:04
dealt with shit, which I gotta be honest with you. It
1:00:08
was like, it's like, you know when people
1:00:10
say racial slurs from other countries and you're like, you
1:00:12
edit it out, I know you can't say this word,
1:00:14
but I don't get it, it doesn't bother me. Oh,
1:00:17
I could say, I don't care. Okay, yeah, I
1:00:19
don't care. It doesn't bother me, but I know
1:00:21
you can't say it in like certain places, but
1:00:25
that's the thing, when you got canceled, that was like
1:00:27
hearing a racial slur from a different country, like it's
1:00:29
a great fucking joke. And then people got upset and
1:00:31
I was like, what the fuck? Wait, hold on, you
1:00:34
know he's a comedian, like that was the most
1:00:36
bizarrest one I go, you people
1:00:38
that are doing this are just about to make him
1:00:40
a million times bigger because
1:00:42
it's a great fucking joke. It
1:00:44
did bump up the figures. Fuck,
1:00:47
it was like the Netflix special had done well, and then
1:00:49
there was a big controversy and it kind of went back
1:00:51
into the top 10 again. It was that thing of like,
1:00:53
you go, yeah, this is gonna be, and you know, you get
1:00:55
dragged for these things every now and then, but you have to, you
1:00:58
only have to answer one question when you get canceled, which
1:01:01
is who are you? You know, did
1:01:03
you say an error? What you did you, were you
1:01:05
drunk? Were you high? Did you make a mistake? Or
1:01:07
did you, no, I said that 400 times on the
1:01:09
tour, and I
1:01:11
put it on the Netflix special. Yeah, things are really good joke. Yeah.
1:01:15
But the idea that a joke isn't a joke, it's a statement
1:01:17
of fact, is the trick that they,
1:01:19
that's the switcheroo that the papers do, or the
1:01:21
people that are outraged. But you know.
1:01:24
Your response, I was trying to tell Tom
1:01:26
and I didn't articulate it well, shockingly, but
1:01:29
your response of, so you understand that I can say something that I
1:01:31
didn't mean. It's
1:01:33
gone viral recently. I'm sure you
1:01:35
know what I'm talking about. Oh yeah, the bit where, yeah,
1:01:38
it's like, the next time I get canceled, what I'm gonna
1:01:40
do, I'm gonna say, I'm
1:01:43
gonna make a public statement on the day I get canceled, and I'm gonna
1:01:45
say, I'm sorry,
1:01:47
and the people that are offended by
1:01:49
the joke will say, you don't really mean that apology.
1:01:51
And I'll say, so you're saying I could say something
1:01:53
and not mean it. Now you're getting
1:01:56
it. Yeah, it's great. Kind
1:01:58
of sums it up though, right? thing you go you
1:02:00
you're pretending you don't know what a joke is but
1:02:03
you do Jave said it very
1:02:05
nicely Jave said I think it's
1:02:07
on his last special he said you're laughing at the
1:02:09
wrong thing because you know what the right thing is
1:02:12
and a lot of what I do when it's like yeah about
1:02:14
those issues that are really fun to
1:02:16
talk about that one there and then and it's a
1:02:18
release that's what the so you go to the show
1:02:20
for it's like it's the fun of finding
1:02:23
a place where for this
1:02:26
time in this space you get to
1:02:28
do that you get to go say
1:02:30
things that you can't say out on
1:02:33
the street without somebody going like why would you say
1:02:35
that because you're not saying it on
1:02:37
the street you're saying it into a microphone there's
1:02:40
context to this whole thing yeah I don't think people
1:02:42
I don't you know I think sometimes when it only
1:02:44
causes trouble when it escapes the lab yeah I was
1:02:47
thinking the thing people don't consider is being in the comedy
1:02:49
audience I lost I really felt it last night it's
1:02:51
a performance being in the audience yeah you're the
1:02:53
audience are performing as well you're not yeah you're
1:02:55
together if someone said to you if you went
1:02:57
to see
1:03:00
I don't know ACDC live in concert right
1:03:02
yeah and someone says how
1:03:04
we doing Los Angeles everyone goes yeah no
1:03:08
one says that in Starbucks right how
1:03:10
you doing yeah you're insane
1:03:12
yeah you're a lunatic yeah
1:03:14
there's a performance to it
1:03:16
there is yeah I'm gonna
1:03:19
start doing that hey you
1:03:21
know where the black women
1:03:23
at Starbucks that would be great
1:03:25
but it's that
1:03:30
that thing is like the the performance of like
1:03:32
anything there and laughing you're signaling to other people
1:03:34
that you get it it's like I think people
1:03:36
desperately want to feel part of something they do
1:03:38
and when you go your sense of humor so
1:03:40
personal to you right it's like when
1:03:42
you've got your guy and we've all got our guys that
1:03:44
we just love yes and it might not be our closest
1:03:46
friends but the idea of like guys that we go and
1:03:48
see or we watch let me just
1:03:51
go I'm just gonna belly laugh my weird weird
1:03:54
laugh at this I'm gonna honk at it
1:03:56
for an hour because I love everything about
1:03:58
the cadence of this I love And
1:04:01
it's really, it's just fabulous. From
1:04:03
where I was in the performance. Last night, I
1:04:05
was sitting up there. I
1:04:08
know you were very close, but did you feel
1:04:10
like, cause to me I was like, man, just
1:04:12
being up here watching this,
1:04:15
it felt like such a fun
1:04:18
vibe for a roast. I
1:04:21
thought with few exceptions,
1:04:23
everything. Even the exceptions are
1:04:25
important. I think you have
1:04:27
to have a little break. So
1:04:29
everyone kills what it is, one note. So some of
1:04:32
the footballers didn't do as well as the others. I
1:04:34
thought that Julian guy, I don't know who he is,
1:04:36
I thought he was fabulous. He was a grand. The
1:04:38
Gronk was fucking a Gronk. The
1:04:40
Gronk thing, it strikes me that there's an opportunity
1:04:43
for someone who's having a discussion today, I bet.
1:04:45
Cause it's the same thing. Remember when Snoop did
1:04:47
a roast with Martha Stewart and then they went
1:04:49
off and made TV shows together. It strikes me
1:04:51
that there's a Gronk show where he got, we
1:04:54
take him and we send
1:04:56
him to the Vatican to look at the art. Yeah,
1:04:59
yeah. That's what I wanna see. I
1:05:02
want him to go and yeah, what are we
1:05:04
sending him? What we're sending him to the Middle
1:05:06
East. We're gonna see if he can sort things
1:05:08
out. It was Gronk, Noah, like. It was great.
1:05:10
Who was Gervais' buddy? That he? Yeah.
1:05:12
Yeah. Carl Pipperton. Carl used to be
1:05:15
my producer on my radio show. He
1:05:17
was? Yeah, he was the producer at
1:05:19
XFM before, with a radio
1:05:21
show. But there's like a feeling, almost like,
1:05:23
put this guy in this situation, just watch
1:05:25
him. Yeah, he should be, yeah. Like
1:05:29
one of these. Yeah. I have one
1:05:31
of these. Gronk and I could be brothers. Yeah. Gronk
1:05:34
and I get along. Well, he's famously good
1:05:36
at spotting morons. Gronk
1:05:39
and I have a lot of
1:05:41
similar thoughts. Yeah, no, I was watching you guys.
1:05:43
I got into a room and I
1:05:45
got to sit in the middle and
1:05:48
then I had Gronk here and Bert here.
1:05:50
And I gotta tell you, man, it was
1:05:52
like watching. And they were both fucking burgers.
1:05:55
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I met Gronk at
1:05:57
a dinner one night and we went to dinner together.
1:06:00
with a bunch of people and Did
1:06:02
the others get anything to eat? No,
1:06:04
we fucked food up, we fucked booze up
1:06:06
and it was the fucking wildest night and
1:06:10
it ended with Gronk going, Yo, Polly Shore's upstairs, can
1:06:13
you introduce me? I was like, Gronk, you can introduce
1:06:15
yourself. Everyone knows who you are. He
1:06:18
is, he is everything you... This
1:06:20
is a beautiful thing and I wonder what your thoughts are.
1:06:23
When you meet a celebrity, you want
1:06:25
them to be everything you think they're gonna be. And
1:06:27
Gronk delivers 100% Gronk
1:06:30
across the board. He is everything you want
1:06:32
him to be. Sometimes you meet a
1:06:34
celebrity and you're like, Ah, fuck. Guy's
1:06:36
kind of a dick or whatever, but
1:06:38
like he is, Rogan's that way. When you meet
1:06:40
Rogan, he's just as bizarre and
1:06:43
curious as you think he's gonna be. Yeah,
1:06:45
I think it's probably with maybe
1:06:47
actors that you get that. Yeah. Because
1:06:50
you just go, wow, he's so cool, because he played a
1:06:52
cool guy in a movie. Yeah. But
1:06:55
he's not that guy. He said all those cool things.
1:06:57
Yeah, but he didn't like those cool things. He
1:06:59
said the line. Yeah. So it's often like that
1:07:01
thing where you go, the musician who's a rock
1:07:03
star and you think he's super rock and roll.
1:07:06
Yeah, but he's an artist. He's sitting
1:07:08
there writing the songs and getting the melody and so it's
1:07:10
a different thing. You're only seeing the performance bit. You're
1:07:12
not seeing the artistry bit. Who's your
1:07:15
generation of comics? Like when
1:07:17
the guys you came up with, like we know
1:07:19
our generation. I'm curious in your
1:07:21
scene, who your generation of comics, who like your
1:07:23
class is. Well,
1:07:25
the guys I came up with, it depends where
1:07:27
you draw it. There's people that would be known
1:07:29
on, I did my first ever Edinburgh show with
1:07:32
Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant. We all went up
1:07:34
together and did 20 minutes each. What
1:07:36
year? That would have been 2001. When
1:07:41
did you start? I started about
1:07:43
2000, maybe the year before. I
1:07:46
was an Ember in 2000 with Patrice O'Neill and
1:07:48
Rich Voss. Oh, well, I mean that
1:07:50
is a... We bombed. We
1:07:53
bombed. Every night. Did
1:07:55
you? Horrifically, so poorly, you
1:07:58
get 29 nights in a row, 25 nights in a
1:08:00
row, 25 nights in a row. in a row. Wow.
1:08:02
And it was silent. I remember Patrice threw a check,
1:08:04
check passport out of the room. He's
1:08:07
like, get out of our fucking country. It
1:08:09
was so uncomfortable. And I remember
1:08:12
Patrice getting into it with Eddie Izzard or
1:08:14
whatever, you know, something else now. Susie is
1:08:16
on, but Eddie is still acceptable. Yeah. Okay.
1:08:18
I didn't mean that, disrespectfully, but I didn't
1:08:20
know where he is. But, and
1:08:23
just getting into him with him. I remember
1:08:25
being with Patrice, I only met him a couple
1:08:28
of times, but being in, I think it was
1:08:30
like Toronto, we're doing some nasty show thing in
1:08:32
Toronto. And I'd never met him, didn't know anything
1:08:34
of his reputation. He act so delivered, was
1:08:37
so rude to the people backstage. And
1:08:39
like, as funny as he was
1:08:41
on stage, like he was absolutely like, not
1:08:43
just roasting, but like mean roasting. Yeah. So
1:08:46
good. He was, I mean, what a guy.
1:08:48
Yeah. It's so lovely that we've got like,
1:08:51
that thing of like, if you love him, if
1:08:53
you like that comedy, and the, it felt
1:08:55
like he knew when he taped Elephant in the
1:08:57
Room. Yeah. He even makes the joke about, I'm
1:09:00
like, I'm 70, effectively.
1:09:03
Look at, I'm so great. Oh, great. He
1:09:06
was amazing. He was committed to
1:09:08
spending a lot of time over in the UK. When we
1:09:10
did 2000, he was like, I might spend more time here.
1:09:12
I might keep doing this
1:09:15
and Amsterdam and
1:09:17
all those, the clears, like a circle. Amsterdam had a
1:09:19
thing for a while. I did it a couple of
1:09:21
times where they were really into, I think it was
1:09:23
a deaf comedy jam. Yeah. Was their thing. So they
1:09:25
would book mainly kind of black American acts to come
1:09:27
over, but they would book a couple of British guys
1:09:29
as well. So I'd kind of get booked on
1:09:31
the show, but that was really their, their thing was they
1:09:33
were into a comedy jam. So it
1:09:35
would have been, you know, I guess, uh,
1:09:38
rich Ross did that. Yeah. That was, it was kind of,
1:09:41
it was cool. Yeah. I mean, there's a
1:09:43
big market over there. It's just difficult to know. You've
1:09:45
only got a certain amount of time. And there's, I
1:09:47
mean, I play everywhere around the world, but I think
1:09:49
a lot of people just go, America's so huge by
1:09:51
the time you finish touring, you've written
1:09:53
a new show and you're ready to just order it again. That's
1:09:55
kind of true. You have to make an effort to leave. Yeah.
1:09:57
Like this is, I mean. You
1:10:00
know you guys playing stadiums or I just think that
1:10:02
thing it does make it feel new again Yes
1:10:05
When you go and do the Tokyo Dome and
1:10:07
let you go well This is hang on half
1:10:09
the people are just local guys that found me
1:10:11
on YouTube and into this and
1:10:13
it's just it's fun For
1:10:15
you you tour you tour very internationally.
1:10:18
Yeah, I mean, I'm like 24 countries deep this
1:10:20
year. I think really Yeah, I did a lot of
1:10:22
farings murder in South Africa Everyone
1:10:25
murders in South Africa if they do South
1:10:29
Africa is like fucking wild I
1:10:32
think crazy shit on stage and they're like a It's
1:10:34
good fun. Yeah, I did Joe Burke
1:10:36
and Cape Town this time that would be fantastic. How
1:10:39
long are you are you touring the stage right now?
1:10:41
Are you just here for the just here for the
1:10:43
festival the moment? I'm gonna do a show but because
1:10:45
the Netflix thing drops like three weeks ago. It's a
1:10:47
great special by the way Thank
1:10:49
you very much. Great. Great fucking special, but the you've
1:10:51
got to do new stuff immediately So the next tool
1:10:53
date like I went okay. I'm doing the new
1:10:56
stuff. Are you how long you sticking in the city
1:10:58
for? I might here till Wednesday go show Wednesday night
1:11:00
in LA and then I'm gonna go and do the
1:11:02
tonight show on Friday To New York.
1:11:04
Yeah, because I think it's the 90s and it might make a difference
1:11:08
I think if I can do four and a
1:11:10
half minutes of funny stuff clean. Yeah, I think
1:11:12
I might get a sitcom deal Okay, I'm pulling
1:11:14
for you man. I'm really hoping that works. Yeah,
1:11:16
we're gonna have to explain to some of the
1:11:18
listeners What sitcoms are? Yes, it's like a it's
1:11:20
like a long tick tock. I guess yeah, it's
1:11:22
a very long Yeah, long tick tock With
1:11:25
a long tick-bock with some with some ad reads
1:11:27
in the middle. Wait, what is your white whale?
1:11:30
like what it was like what like I Because
1:11:33
I'm kind of lost in that right now. It's like
1:11:35
what are the what do I want to do? I
1:11:37
don't I think I've done everything I ever thought I never did
1:11:39
way more than I ever thought I was gonna do like What
1:11:41
do you like someone comes to sit
1:11:43
you know in a room in Hollywood tomorrow and they
1:11:45
go? Hey Scott Netflix Ted says I'm sure he's actually
1:11:47
said this. Hey anything you want to
1:11:49
do What do you want to do movies sitcom more
1:11:51
specials? Man on the street
1:11:54
eight cat eight. I think are you in this are you
1:11:56
in this now? Are you thinking about this cuz I'm quite
1:11:58
stoic at the moment. I'm like do
1:12:01
less better everyone just right
1:12:03
jokes my thing is do
1:12:05
more mediocre yeah
1:12:07
I'm how's that working out I'm taking my work
1:12:09
off in my head so it's been spent out
1:12:12
you're taking nine months off in July you doesn't
1:12:14
understand how calendars work yeah I can't do that
1:12:16
it's just a month a month is the longest
1:12:18
you can take off in July
1:12:22
yeah the so what you're gonna I
1:12:25
don't know what I want to do well I suppose it's
1:12:27
that thing of like you go there's a what the
1:12:29
fancy temperate is the hedonic treadmill you get used to
1:12:31
your life being amazing but that thing of
1:12:33
like nine months don't have some adventures go
1:12:36
and I don't know trying some things yeah
1:12:38
get on a train try and upset some
1:12:40
mafia people yeah you know the drill but
1:12:43
that thing of like going and having adventures and going and
1:12:45
living your life and kids I think it's a great that
1:12:47
you're doing it because there's no there there you
1:12:50
never arrive right and and what's this about hopefully we
1:12:52
all get better hopefully in five years time we look
1:12:54
back at the specials we made this year and go
1:12:57
okay what's good but you know I could see it
1:12:59
but this one's better this one's got better jokes in
1:13:01
it there's better structure there's all you're ever trying to
1:13:03
do yeah you're trying to get better at it and
1:13:05
and it's always like you're looking up to these masters
1:13:08
you know I don't know who it is for you but like
1:13:10
you look up to some of these you're one of them you're
1:13:12
one of them I look at the way you I think this
1:13:14
is gonna be the most fucked up thing I've ever said yeah
1:13:16
I watch your specials and I go goddamn it if I had
1:13:18
his brain I'd be such a good comic you
1:13:21
cuz you're like all
1:13:24
my lazy parts are
1:13:27
none of yours like all my lazy parts are
1:13:29
the things you excel at and
1:13:31
and and I go but but it's but it's
1:13:33
so sweet of you to say that and I
1:13:35
genuinely is hard to take a compliment
1:13:38
but that's so lovely of you but again
1:13:40
escape competition through authenticity no one
1:13:42
can do what you can
1:13:44
do it's so the opposite of like no one in
1:13:47
Hollywood was going now this I tell you what we
1:13:49
need and how to
1:13:51
shape shut this guy but somehow it the
1:13:53
world wanted it and the energy you have
1:13:55
on stage that the performance like you fill
1:13:57
a fucking room and it and
1:13:59
you carry people along, that storyteller thing. The grass
1:14:01
is always greener, right? You're always kind of looking
1:14:04
over at what other people can do. And
1:14:06
it's like, but you forget your
1:14:08
gifts. The world ordered this.
1:14:12
And they did. They opened
1:14:14
the bag and they're like, this is my order. The secret
1:14:16
is you got to honor it. You got
1:14:18
to honor that thing that you bring to the, you know, it's
1:14:20
great. But what's your white whale then? Well, what's
1:14:22
the thing you want to do? Like you, for you. Like
1:14:25
what's your thing? Like, is there anything you want?
1:14:27
The Oscars or you know what I mean? Like,
1:14:29
is there anything that you ever go that
1:14:32
I would love to do? Yeah, I think there's quite a lot of
1:14:34
that stuff that you kind of, you could, you could reel off, but
1:14:36
actually I think just doing another, I think
1:14:38
it's about special, I think it's about touring. Yes. Doing
1:14:40
good shows. Yes. Delivering. You know, it's, you know, I
1:14:42
don't sound like a hippie, but it's an active service,
1:14:44
isn't it? It's that thing of like, well, I'd like
1:14:46
to be good at this. I'd like to deliver on
1:14:48
it and deliver on that potential. All the
1:14:50
other stuff is like slightly like hosting
1:14:53
the Oscars. God, it'd be incredible. A
1:14:56
chance to get snapped in the face. Yeah. But
1:14:58
you go, well, that's not really, it's
1:15:01
not about the host. That's about giving the whole thing.
1:15:03
Yeah, that's true. Was there a
1:15:05
part of you last night? Because I know my energy
1:15:07
and I'm honest with my energy. If
1:15:10
I had been sitting in the audience, I know Shane said, he's like,
1:15:12
I should have fucking done it. It was
1:15:14
a party that was like, God, give me
1:15:16
one fucking, give me four minutes up there. I
1:15:19
fucking own this room. Was there a part of you
1:15:21
that was like, I would, I really wanted
1:15:23
to do it. I really wanted to do it. But
1:15:25
it's that thing where you go, you're in the audience.
1:15:27
I was saying afterwards, like take up a bit. I
1:15:29
went to the store afterwards and had to do a
1:15:31
show because there's a part of you
1:15:33
that goes needs to perform. This is a fabulous show. People
1:15:36
are destroying. A lot of my friends are killing up there.
1:15:38
Why is this not more about me? But
1:15:41
there's a bit of you, there's a bit
1:15:43
of you that's performing and you have to
1:15:45
be respectful of that. Okay. Well, you know,
1:15:47
the ego kind of, well, I could do
1:15:49
that. You are among the best of the
1:15:51
whites that we know. It's such an honor
1:15:53
to sit with a white.
1:15:55
You are like, it's really cool.
1:15:58
It's great to go over. As
1:16:00
far as overseas whites? And
1:16:02
you're like a Confederate statue to us because
1:16:04
you're an old-school white. If you're like the
1:16:06
authentic first one. Yes. You know? We all
1:16:09
have the accent. Did someone push the cancel
1:16:11
button on me? Quick! We're
1:16:14
gonna need some clicks on this. Terrible things.
1:16:17
What's the name of the new special? Natural Born
1:16:19
Killer. If Quentin Tarantino's watching, I don't know what
1:16:21
you're talking about. Now, the killer.
1:16:24
Not killers. Yeah. Killer.
1:16:28
No, you're a fucking absolutely amazing
1:16:30
comic to watch. So, for anybody
1:16:33
listening or watching, if you get a chance to
1:16:35
see Jimmy live, that's where it's at. Are you touring in the
1:16:37
States at all? I'll do
1:16:39
it next year. Has anyone listened to this in Canada?
1:16:42
Yeah, of course. You know I'm doing a thing
1:16:45
with Jim Jefferies. Me and Jeff are doing an
1:16:47
arena tour of Canada in September, October. And we're
1:16:49
doing a double-header. So, it's me and Jim. If
1:16:52
you like funny jokes, you're in luck. If you
1:16:54
like funny stories, you're in luck. That's everything. It's going
1:16:57
to be fun. I love Jim. We've known
1:16:59
him. I've known him a million years. I
1:17:01
think it'll be fun. He's a monster, man.
1:17:03
He's a fucking monster. Get tickets. Go see
1:17:05
Jimmy Carr, Jim Jefferies together and watch the
1:17:08
new special. Dude, seriously, it's always fun to
1:17:10
see you guys. It's always fun to see
1:17:12
you, bro. You are. And I have to say this.
1:17:14
We met you, Googled your net worth
1:17:16
in Canada. Tom's like, Googled his net worth. He's
1:17:19
still doing stand-up. And
1:17:21
then I ran into you on the lot, I
1:17:23
think, somewhere in the valley, Universal.
1:17:26
Oh, yeah. And you
1:17:28
were so kind. And you were like, Bert, Bert.
1:17:31
And I was so impressed. I
1:17:34
was going into a general meeting. And I was
1:17:36
like, he's a fucking monster. And he knows why.
1:17:38
He was like, Bert, will you fill up this
1:17:41
Michael petrol? My keys. Make
1:17:43
sure it's clean. Thank you. We're
1:17:46
not all chimney sweeps. Not
1:17:48
all of us. Can
1:17:52
you do American accent? Yeah, no, I'm
1:17:54
doing it right now. This is how it should have
1:17:56
been. Things went badly in
1:17:58
Boston. we're
1:18:00
coming back. This
1:18:02
isn't even an accent, this isn't just how things sound
1:18:04
when they're pronounced properly. Vitamin.
1:18:07
They say vitamin. How do
1:18:09
I say vitamin? Vitamin. You know
1:18:11
vitamin? Vitamins, yeah. I would say vitamin. Have you said tutu?
1:18:13
It's tutu. I thought you were saying it right. They
1:18:16
hear a tattoo. You do. Yeah,
1:18:18
a tattoo. Maybe I'll go tattoo.
1:18:20
And then it's, what's the one, aluminum? Aluminum. Aluminum, yeah.
1:18:23
And do you have a tattoo? Well the one that would be, it
1:18:25
would be, I would say, trousers, you would say
1:18:27
pants. I
1:18:36
would say pavement, you would say sidewalk. I
1:18:39
would say I'm an arm, don't shoot. You would say, oops.
1:18:43
And then if we were like, yeah, it's
1:18:45
a bit of a conundrum, you'd be like, it's a bit
1:18:47
of a wiffle, isn't it? Something like that. A bit of
1:18:49
a wiffle? Yes, if we've had a head injury, if we've
1:18:51
had a head injury, sure. Yeah,
1:18:54
yeah. He
1:18:56
would say that. It's a bit of a wiffle. Yeah.
1:19:01
You and Gronk. You and
1:19:03
Gronk. Welcome to civilization. We can't send the
1:19:05
two of you out though. There's
1:19:07
got to be somebody different. There's
1:19:10
got to be. If
1:19:13
we just hate you. You're
1:19:15
both wearing helmets. It's got to be like Jimmy and
1:19:17
Gronk. What they should do is they should do a
1:19:20
show called Jimmy. Jimmy hosts
1:19:22
Gronk and Burt living together. And
1:19:24
Jimmy's at a desk hosting. And
1:19:27
just as we live, oh, they've gone to the
1:19:29
beer again. They're drinking again. Well, they're both in
1:19:31
speedos. You know what? You guys in a house,
1:19:33
cameras everywhere. And David
1:19:35
Attenborough. The wildlife
1:19:38
guy just comments on these guys. It's
1:19:40
like we found the real Sasquatch. Yeah.
1:19:43
Yeah. And a pitch out to Gronk. Neanderthals
1:19:46
walking the hell. Yeah, that would be
1:19:48
great. They're showering in the pool. You
1:19:52
shower in the pool? Shower in the pool.
1:19:54
They're getting the pool. Sasquatch shower. Shower in
1:19:56
the pool. He showers in his. I shower in
1:19:58
my pool. He jumps in the pool. I mean,
1:20:00
I know you're doing great in life, but
1:20:03
I imagine you still have an above ground pool. We
1:20:05
had for a long time, we did. Everything
1:20:08
about you says above ground pool. I
1:20:10
look behind you, look at the poster behind you. Yeah, that's me
1:20:13
in an above ground pool. Yeah,
1:20:16
and that's celebrating, that's he made it.
1:20:18
That's I just showered. I
1:20:20
was supposed to do that show with Jim Jeffries and he
1:20:22
backed out because he was having a kid and I ended
1:20:24
up doing Red Rocks by myself, changed my career. I
1:20:27
love Jim Jeffries. He's awesome. You're
1:20:30
the best brother. Thank you Jimmy. Thank you so much
1:20:32
for having me. No, thank you brother. You're the fucking
1:20:34
best. You're the best. You're the best. You're
1:20:36
the best. You're the best. You're
1:20:38
the best. You're the best. The other wears
1:20:41
a shirt with a top and tail story, then burns the
1:20:43
machine. He bears the chance of hell and the town keeps
1:20:45
his moods. He bears all of his
1:20:48
all. You bears one case. Shopping
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