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Tony Hinchcliffe ROASTS The Bears

Tony Hinchcliffe ROASTS The Bears

Released Monday, 27th May 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
Tony Hinchcliffe ROASTS The Bears

Tony Hinchcliffe ROASTS The Bears

Tony Hinchcliffe ROASTS The Bears

Tony Hinchcliffe ROASTS The Bears

Monday, 27th May 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

Hundred. Percent. Welcome.

0:05

To another episode to Bears One

0:07

k You can see the. Biggest.

0:10

Live Podcast in the World! If you

0:12

go to New York City and go

0:15

to Madison Square Garden on August ninth

0:17

and tenth to see Killed Tony and

0:19

joining us is Tony Hinchcliffe? Yeah! That's

0:22

why they soak Killzone. I remember doing it

0:25

in the belly room. yeah not even

0:27

sold out in the belly room and I

0:29

needed you guys back then and now you

0:31

did. In my you did was a

0:33

huge favor. Also it was kind of a

0:36

fun thing because everybody had their podcasts and

0:38

it was like if you're another comic

0:40

like they go. I read my package you

0:42

oh yeah I want to do my

0:44

friends podcast support. I mean I know you

0:46

private as it can't be yes you you

0:49

can't You could not have imagined that

0:51

it would reach this thing. Right, I'm

0:53

nuts. Yeah, I'm secretly nuts that ah

0:55

I see yeah I did, but I

0:57

did. Didn't think it would be this

1:00

soon when the pandemic happened and all

1:02

you guys and everybody and salts and

1:04

Joe and everyone got to keep doing

1:07

their podcast and I am in as

1:09

a very and I and waited use

1:11

go on pause that we did the

1:13

worst thing ever but the people loved

1:16

it which was we complained about not

1:18

being able to survive in a studio

1:20

like this while people would send. In

1:23

sixty seconds, sets via file and then

1:25

they. We would zoom with them to

1:27

interview them afterwards but then it was

1:29

a way to make it happen. He

1:31

was crazy but and so is. kind

1:33

of like everybody got to see how

1:35

much we were struggling and apply that

1:37

to their own struggles it or area

1:39

instead of oh everybody else is just

1:41

doing their normal podcast. a. The

1:44

from. What I gathered afterwards and by

1:46

the way at the time of them

1:48

as fucking depressed. Yeah yeah In In

1:50

Guy was losing my mind in Los

1:52

Angeles. Yeah my neighborhood was where the

1:54

riots here, where we were shooting our

1:56

studio. Is that Love Brian Sunset So

1:58

there's literally to thought home. encampments on

2:00

fire that you had to walk by

2:02

to get into the studio like the

2:04

city was on fire yeah it was

2:07

crazy and so no it was

2:09

rough but like it was relatably rough yeah

2:11

because I'm like this is not what we

2:13

do this you're probably I mean I think

2:15

when I think about like all the I

2:18

mean it's innovative it's a very unique one

2:20

and only show but you also been the

2:22

most consistent person I think I don't feel

2:24

like you've missed a week we have not

2:26

we have put out an episode every single

2:29

Monday for 11 years that's pretty incredible

2:31

everyone should know that the 11 years

2:33

yeah that's pretty incredible 11

2:35

years doing a podcast 11 years so I

2:38

think a lot of you know it's like I it's

2:40

so funny I had a kid backstage I

2:44

was in some arena and this

2:46

kids backstage he's college kids and

2:49

I know their dad or something and I had just

2:51

done an arena and he's like dude you know you

2:53

got to do we should get

2:56

on kill Tony if you do stand

2:58

up on kill Tony that's big it's

3:00

crazy it's crazy because it's like it's

3:14

it's I feel disconnected from comedy

3:17

all quite often because I feel like I

3:19

do this thing that I'm doing now which

3:21

isn't really adjacent to how we started you

3:23

know it's like it's it's fun it's big

3:25

and it's awesome I just ended my tour

3:27

in Austin Saturday and

3:30

then we start up for fully loaded this summer

3:32

fuck yeah we're gonna have a fucking blast and

3:34

and but I went one

3:36

night I went to dinner at Eddie B's with Leanne and I

3:38

got a message from Tony's like come by and do kill Tony

3:41

and I hadn't done the show since it was

3:43

in in the store and I went and got

3:46

on it and I was I know this is

3:48

gonna sound crazy to people I was very funny

3:50

like and I forgot you were I forgot

3:52

it was funny and you know

3:54

what I'm gonna be honest with you it's been

3:57

driving me crazy Hearing people

3:59

talk shit. something. The. Once

4:01

in awhile about you because I'm like,

4:03

wait, Now. Maybe a

4:05

little that maybe a tides but or

4:07

about way. I swear I'm not even

4:10

kidding. Words especially kissing your as be

4:12

were so funny. That episode in the

4:14

moment completely improvise and it's hard for

4:17

be will people would be shocked in

4:19

a what comedians. Get. There and

4:21

sinus defend off because I'm hosting and they want

4:23

out. They want to china hosts be I want

4:26

to host. Oh you mean like me instead of

4:28

who has no your dream And instead of sitting

4:30

back and just cranking homers and picking their moments

4:32

and you were glad. Always know I struggle with

4:34

with your show. This is I tell you this

4:37

in the very beginning. I did it the other

4:39

of a number of times the very first time

4:41

I was. so what would we do? You know

4:43

if people want me to there's that. The men

4:46

like you know I could rip them apart and

4:48

I'm like ah I was one of the I've

4:50

seen. A few other people do this were

4:52

like I always try to go Like here's

4:54

here's what I think is due to get.

4:57

Better. At the I try to be like

4:59

oh that's great but it's not funny by

5:01

guy. actually just go like I think you

5:03

sad part is great people think guess, think

5:06

that when they come on oh it's arose

5:08

shy gonna make fun of people and I

5:10

tell them like when they go hey destroy

5:12

you know roasting isn't really my thing. I

5:14

would I go great That's my thing. Yeah

5:16

yeah I do that. That's somewhat everybody's supposed

5:18

to do. Advice is great just being funny

5:20

and notice things I notice that is the

5:22

real Rome. We did the or one year

5:24

anniversary show him Joe and I did have

5:26

the tenure. The tenure. So. Fun!

5:29

Yeah, I was a spectator at that

5:31

and I was enjoying myself good. I

5:33

was high, yeah, I was drunk yeah,

5:35

and it was actually like having a

5:37

front row seat literally to watch this

5:40

know yeah show take place. That was.

5:43

incredible it was so fun to be a part

5:45

of i noticed that that's been happening a lot

5:47

of these big ones i was like a big

5:49

experiment for us to do the bigger venues a

5:51

huge venue with a bigger production and all this

5:54

stuff how does it change because i haven't seen

5:56

one of the arena was is it's is a

5:58

pretty much the same thing just larger

6:00

scale larger scale but i'm so

6:02

ready and on that it is

6:04

kind of like you know

6:06

i'm like really driving the ship so

6:08

i have noticed that it is harder

6:10

for the guests to kind

6:13

of pick their spot to pick their spot

6:15

because i have enough time i'm not used

6:17

to a bonus five seconds of laughter reverberation

6:19

and that's five seconds when you're used to

6:21

having to have your next question or your

6:24

next joke or whatever that lets you come

6:26

up or wherever you want to steer the

6:28

ship how much more intimidating is it for

6:30

these newbies to do an arena

6:32

set. It's impossible everybody out of the bucket

6:34

is bombed on these things. They have to

6:37

be. It's terrifying. First time i did an

6:39

arena i was

6:41

eight years in i was opening for uh russell

6:44

peters yeah and he flew me over to

6:46

london first we

6:48

did his he did a warm-up show for

6:50

7,500 people in birmingham and then we

6:52

go to do the o2 and

6:55

i'm like so i'm i'm eight years

6:57

into stand-up terrified

7:00

and that's with like a set that i

7:02

know i'm doing right i can't imagine

7:05

doing a cold one minute there we have

7:07

learned that 100 of people out

7:10

of the bucket bomb so how do you

7:12

how do you deal with that so what

7:14

i've been doing lately and it's great that

7:16

we've had these practice runs before going to

7:18

msg is i stalk the line the way

7:20

you're calling the forum a practice run yeah

7:22

it is weird god damn it

7:24

sometimes i don't know how a fucking

7:26

cringy and ridiculous i sound i hope

7:28

it's no it's the truth is like

7:30

msg is the shit i mean it's

7:32

like it is i'm probably never gonna

7:34

do msg but the forum for me

7:36

was like a that's because i live in l.a still

7:39

totally but it i mean

7:41

i know i think you did the forum

7:43

twice so like i mean so yeah it's

7:45

like it is a practice run and the

7:47

roast and i did the staple center with

7:49

gillis and schultz how was that it was

7:51

unbelievable i mean like with schultz gillis post

7:53

malone and derrick poston who's my fucking homie

7:55

who i Originally hooked up with Schultz.

7:57

Schultz a few years ago was like hey, you got another.

8:00

Opener. I could use the show you know

8:02

Endzone out Guy on his blog. well that's

8:04

how I that's only three integrated. He said

8:06

an Opener that I could use in San

8:08

Antonio. My son's my own though. it is

8:10

like a media yes because I need David

8:12

Lucas was kind of more independent and on

8:15

of how to describe it. like is more

8:17

like an independent creature. Yeah, but Derek is

8:19

just such a fun to hang and serves

8:21

over funny Engineering are rising stock like crazy.

8:23

I work with them four nights a week

8:25

of the mothership. He brings me up there

8:27

regularly so. To. Get to do

8:30

the Staples Center with Derek Called opening

8:32

Who who opens almost all the shows?

8:34

That the mothership I mean is being

8:36

built like fucking Darth Vader? Yes! And.

8:39

Suffered. To go Him: Me: Gillis

8:41

who is literally my favorite fucking

8:43

drinking buddy. Him and I were

8:45

just at Texas Stadium. Doing.

8:47

This fuck in Texas Longhorn fund

8:49

raising thing for billionaires and the

8:51

other day and we had the

8:53

best time. I don't think people

8:55

realize like me insane like. Hang

8:58

yeah and I'm whiskey cokes and he's

9:00

beers so by the time he hits

9:02

you know his fifteen by by three

9:04

starts showing some fine of and dropped

9:06

the case measured Viagra that I am

9:08

I'm seven whiskey and coke. then we're

9:10

having the time of our lives. Man

9:12

we went up in Texas stadium, smoke

9:15

the fucking blind by ourselves. like to

9:17

see him, me, him and La Mare

9:19

and his little crew and fuckin were

9:21

just having them. Best time here in

9:23

Austin So it's funny to that. Like.

9:25

Translates. Derek moved the comedy store

9:28

guy moved to Austin one of the

9:30

first guys the move. Or Derek than

9:32

me than Gillis than Souls who blew

9:34

my mind. Watching. His stand

9:37

up like he's talking about his

9:39

actual life and have me gasp

9:41

or scared. And it's so much

9:43

smarter. and I literally have made

9:45

me feel. Like. I kind of

9:47

a half because I'm up there talking about

9:49

trans school shooters and o'clock and did this

9:51

sub the wind down to the tiger Hannigan

9:53

all this buck and I'm like reaching for

9:55

anything in the world that I find dark

9:57

and funny is that they're talking about his.

10:00

The actual life killing and I'm cracking up

10:02

throw like holy shit. It's hard for me

10:04

to laugh at comedians talking about raising a

10:06

kid and this than than what about the

10:08

wife and that that the bar but it's

10:11

a really good and then he brought up

10:13

Post Malone and and the whole time you're

10:15

looking to talk about out. Of

10:18

your the crowd went ballistic and he

10:20

fucking smashed and then we brought up

10:23

his dad who always.earth Day yeah and

10:25

and I got a few roads jokes

10:27

off on him and it was just

10:29

so much fun. Man and like what a

10:31

trip to L A to get to start their

10:33

go through the pandemic, their the Riot. go back

10:35

and have that kind of away and go back

10:37

and have that kind of week. I mean he

10:40

couldn't have written and especially getting it started with

10:42

the roast which I wasn't very late addition to.

10:45

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10:47

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14:55

us. Oh did we talked about obviously

14:57

you know you're sad and we were

14:59

hanging out and and you know all

15:01

that stuff. But and we saw yet

15:03

the Five K. But so how did

15:05

when were you? How are you a

15:07

late addition head with three other crazy

15:09

crazy story. So like you know, I

15:11

wrote for the last ten Comedy Central

15:13

roast. Comedy Central never gave me a

15:15

shot at all to get on on.

15:17

which was crazy because if you remember,

15:19

Comedy Central was literally making stars at

15:21

the time. I guess I now use

15:24

to way. Back in the day and and

15:26

the rest were huge For a minute Huge.

15:28

And the roast before I started writing on

15:30

it. The writers that were on the Rose

15:32

before I started writing on it were Whitney

15:34

Cummings, Anthony Jasmine. Like that that the best

15:36

to the have a clear path. Yes! so

15:38

on the first roast I'm like okay so

15:40

if I kill it in this writer's room

15:42

and get a ton of jokes and really

15:44

focus I can get on the next one.

15:47

Yeah, Ten. Ten.

15:49

Later fuckin' Trump Booms! ah fucking

15:51

Rob Lowe, Bruce Willis. eat Alec

15:53

Baldwin, you name and I'm like

15:56

that close. never got on one

15:58

but all that stuff. Conversely I

16:00

good you would it be both because of

16:02

for these are usually conversations the happened with

16:05

like managers and eight you know behind it

16:07

rains they you tell your manager allah do

16:09

this I had manager for a long time

16:11

ago and I'm I'm very loyal loyal dogs

16:14

some like we're going to do it together

16:16

mind realize it's as wasn't happening. Sure enough

16:18

he retired a month before the pandemic know

16:20

what movie yeah exact timing on his for

16:22

oh my god it was unbelievable He moved

16:25

my be connected with says he had the

16:27

I yawn is that when they're on my

16:29

what the. Fuck though I've to in

16:31

sambol so you never get your shot. And.

16:34

Then never get my shop and I'm super

16:36

close to Jeff Ross who yeah no I

16:38

worked with directly on a lot of those

16:40

things. He really does executive produce all these

16:42

things yeah knows how to do it. I

16:44

told him I said without your fingers in

16:46

the pie other would have been i'm when

16:48

I'm your I'd I Ike I gave him

16:50

his flowers at night and the next day

16:52

and it to and like every party I

16:55

saw him because I think it's understated how

16:57

it is very understated. Next it is because

16:59

you were writer for ten years. How

17:01

important the writing team and Jeff Ross

17:03

and the production team is to those

17:05

roast. Yeah, because they staged in a

17:08

way. They know what people are going

17:10

to say. They know where they're going

17:12

to say. it's they create a fucking.

17:14

Recipe. For you to succeed? Yeah,

17:16

and it's And Jeff Ross. I.

17:18

Said it's from one hundred times drunk

17:20

even sober. He fucking is the reason

17:22

everyone loves his loving that roast. oh

17:24

yeah it's it's if been up to

17:27

a large part just oh absolutely in

17:29

every single one of the rest that

17:31

of ever happened before at he's the

17:33

reason why I'm not kidding you we

17:35

are such big bros guys him and

17:37

I that with roasting wasn't like a

17:39

common term. Believe it or not it

17:41

seems like it is now but it

17:43

wasn't like in the Zeit Geist ten

17:45

years ago and so like when that.

17:47

When. We started we like when

17:49

we would see a headline on

17:52

the internet like ah yeah now

17:54

ah ah you name it like

17:56

fuckin. I'm Joan Rivers Roast Kim

17:58

Kardashians on the View. Something like

18:00

that window seat when we would

18:02

see the word rose B B

18:04

I am very uncool our say

18:06

using that word agree with such

18:09

old art form yeah procedures he

18:11

jeff I don't want to interrupt

18:13

only you'd keep talking about this

18:15

is going forward to this Buddha

18:17

ever see just year ago as

18:19

is the diversity. Don't want any

18:21

government. Seems like he

18:23

kind of did it. I have been really good

18:25

as foreign commerce and your my partner I've been

18:27

really good. Very proud again. Imagine how many times.

18:30

He wanted to interrupt: If you think you've

18:32

been reviewing the s and assessed. Damn

18:36

your crew is cracking our i am a

18:39

sinner up the law and ah you were

18:41

saying no matter how the app that you

18:43

already interrupted you may have followed through now.

18:45

Nope. pathetic a mind you already did it

18:48

said you know you are really and or

18:50

us As good as it is said. I

18:52

forgot. About

18:54

that of the bad and or up said

18:57

Mr it was the observances of Ross when

18:59

he roasted be Or or is it By

19:01

twenty years ago Jeff Ross did an old

19:03

school rose with all the legends. And. They

19:05

were doing it at the fryer at

19:07

first Club as he said, God.

19:11

Was his see so as I

19:13

wouldn't flutter would be Arthur's Deck

19:15

And then the camera cuts to

19:17

be are Thirty Years She saw

19:19

Life has Hamid he he Debussy's

19:21

Roast of A Shack, The Sack

19:23

Row yeah, Zach Lowe and and

19:25

Emmett Smith wrote The Anasazi. It's.

19:27

The. Of shot brought that up My thoughts sack

19:29

use like the ever see that those like is the

19:32

hardest. Either is the most. Isn't

19:34

about rid of while of yeah well that's

19:36

the thing is like and you know I

19:38

learned from him. oh lot about like Okay

19:40

so you can do this but if you

19:43

do this and can't do that and he

19:45

you know when I mean you can't go

19:47

too much. One extreme. So.

19:50

Yeah. Now they're with. Pots. i

19:52

was making or first of all yeah so he

19:54

how you want to get indo at how do

19:56

you come about in a crazy kinda like a

19:58

hot scoop yeah that was all right so let's

20:00

get it But first of all, I've never been

20:02

a Netflix darling the special that I was lucky

20:04

to get to make with a steady cam in

20:08

2015 seven years into my career Was

20:11

a miracle they were looking for something different

20:13

with continuity and I and it was like

20:15

a year after Birdman came out So I'm

20:17

like, what if somebody shot a special like

20:19

that right take? Yeah, and all I had

20:21

was one show at the ice house I

20:24

wasn't that good the difference between a seven

20:26

or eight year for median doing an hour

20:28

special in 15 years It's

20:30

light years But

20:32

I was lucky to get it at the time

20:35

and it worked and then once that two-year licensing

20:37

deal was up and gone I'm like fuck this

20:39

special get it out of here. I'm so much

20:41

better. I don't want anybody to see it, right?

20:44

So and it seemed

20:46

like they weren't knocking at the door anyway

20:48

you know, I think they have a thing

20:51

with likable people or a thing that they

20:53

can see or something that tests well or

20:55

whatever and and So

20:58

they didn't want me on this thing to

21:00

start and I knew that like this was

21:03

clear I'm just not an industry guy. I

21:05

mean clearly I've my show my hit

21:07

show is on YouTube Yeah, and you don't

21:09

see me much more other than that so

21:13

but I have a great team a great agent

21:15

a great manager for the first time ever and

21:20

So I hit them up and I'm like, hey, I'm

21:22

making you guys all this money I want you to

21:24

do something for me I want to get on this

21:26

thing which is crazy because in the beginning when they

21:28

first announced it I'm like, oh, that's cool They're

21:31

gonna do a rose to Tom Brady. That's great. But

21:33

as it got closer and I'm like live Tom

21:35

Brady Did I

21:38

have a feeling this and I be the

21:40

biggest comedy event in this? Period

21:43

are you at all hitting up Ross because he's

21:45

your friend I did hit up Ross

21:47

when they first announced it to congratulate him Feel

21:50

like he thought that I was gonna ask to get

21:52

on it. But honestly at the time again This was

21:54

like two months before I I Was

21:57

just like, oh, that's cool. That Could be the start of

21:59

a cool area. The of roasting on Netflix.

22:01

But then as the got closer. I

22:04

realize like know this could be

22:06

the stimulate the biggest coolest yeah,

22:08

easiest thing ever. I. Am that?

22:10

It's so my tone on it just changed

22:13

and I didn't just what I didn't just

22:15

want to head up Rossum. Yeah, okay give

22:17

me on this area. He knew that the

22:19

and I'm a great guy for the job.

22:21

it's it's and live on Netflix. Who better

22:23

than the guy that roast people live every

22:25

week, every week on a big ass shell

22:27

in front of a big ass audience that

22:29

happens to do arenas which is where this

22:31

is being sought a few days. But afford

22:33

it, I'd do it anyway. Plus I britain

22:35

on the last ten Comedy Central roast. plus

22:37

I'd done crazy roast myself and so it

22:40

was kind. Of like all that mix together

22:42

and then I was mentioning it did show that

22:44

Netflix is doing this Tom Brady rose and he

22:46

gets all message Tom Brady you node stuff of

22:48

a. Related just like

22:50

Thomas is Tom Brady for yeah, I'm like,

22:52

really, do that And it's sure enough he

22:55

does. And. He says Tony's the

22:57

best route. He sent me a screenshot

22:59

of at Tony's the Best roaster in

23:01

the world You gotta Tony Hinchcliffe check

23:03

out this clip Etonians class. A sudden

23:05

that mean roasting Snoop Dogg one in

23:07

a semi. the picture, the screen grab

23:10

and Brady goes out. I'm gonna send

23:12

this right along. Looks great and I'm

23:14

still nothing. Still, they weren't budget ai

23:16

be up and die. Yeah guys people

23:18

hate you. I know it's not a

23:20

I have a I know, I know,

23:23

not all of us are fuckin' darling.

23:25

About and shall be headed fox

23:28

anyway so we should tell your

23:30

story. I to get really frustrated.

23:35

At you our our while Noah

23:37

are you were done Other go

23:39

anything like this that I program

23:41

at understanding I'm at I Am

23:43

Care You guys phoned it in

23:45

like an Israeli airstrike as as

23:47

as and so thing on earth

23:49

in a society of. Us

23:52

don't put out when Urban was

23:55

thinking my Sat. in his sad

23:57

a saved us as sell me or

23:59

anyone tell way So this

24:01

is pretty huge in the fact that the

24:03

guy who is the roast is about yeah

24:06

Who's that happens to be one of the most

24:08

powerful right famous people is like I like this

24:11

guy and still nothing right? Which which for you

24:13

know for everybody? There's no way anybody could possibly

24:15

know what they do on these things is they

24:17

tell you Because Comedy Central did

24:19

this forever to me they go look we're

24:22

not the ones booking it It's

24:24

the person who's being honored. Yes

24:26

booking it right? Oh, you know

24:28

if Rob Lowe or Justin Bieber

24:30

Alec Baldwin or you name it

24:32

Yes, right, which they're not gonna

24:34

say yes Yeah, who they were

24:37

their favorite Canadian that they've seen

24:39

on the right on the big

24:41

thing anyway, so

24:45

Still nothing now. We're a few weeks out

24:47

but Oh

24:51

So they want Dana White for the thing because

24:53

Tom loves Dana White that that's the Dana White

24:55

hits me up right before we tape A random

24:57

Monday Kill Tony and he goes hey, they want

24:59

me to do this Tom Brady roast Can you

25:01

help me or my head roast advisor? I've worked

25:03

with them before on something where you had to

25:06

do comedy and I go I go Dana

25:09

I'm gonna be honest with you, bro. I'm trying to

25:11

get on this thing. It would

25:13

be huge for me But

25:15

I'll help you out any way we can like

25:18

if you want to figure something out Yeah, but

25:20

as of right now, I'm still trying to get

25:22

on it, but I'll still help you But

25:24

I kind of like this is like a big one for

25:27

me Yeah, and I haven't

25:29

wanted anything forever Literally

25:31

when I moved to Texas, I'm like

25:33

fuck all of everything fuck everything. I've

25:35

got everything I wanted now I can

25:37

make money and have a blast doing

25:39

my own YouTube show that I have

25:41

a hundred percent control of no network

25:43

notes I don't need anything.

25:46

I can make my own specials drop them

25:48

on YouTube I'm so done with Hollywood. It's

25:50

hilarious and I love it. It's so freeing

25:52

not to worry about anything or be greedy

25:55

Or you know what? I mean? Just want anything.

25:57

I have what I want even though that sounds

25:59

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28:25

but here I am all of

28:27

a sudden like fuck fuck this

28:29

row, stop on deck and rak

28:31

that shit on the guy for

28:33

the job. So ah I'm and

28:35

then it gets closer. My agent

28:37

is fantastic. Ah. Marty.

28:39

Least sack at you to yea

28:41

applies the pressure to the Cps

28:43

like this old timey legends who

28:46

yeah no reps will say are

28:48

all and my I have no

28:50

because unlike unlike these agents and

28:52

managers naughty youngest kid they all

28:54

wrapped like the cleanest people Seinfeld

28:56

gas again they are gassy like

28:58

all these people that wear suits

29:00

and like. Only. Talk about

29:02

having grandchildren or whatever. And the

29:05

unlike their naughty bastard kid that

29:07

they can a root for and

29:09

like to the like, he's a

29:11

renegade is making this money different

29:13

ways. It's not an be in

29:15

a whatever. Anyway, I'm. He

29:17

got excited and applied the pressured

29:19

to arm. You. Know the people

29:22

over there at Netflix and then the

29:24

Dana thing head chef head. Tom.

29:26

Brady head in. This little storm started

29:28

so it ended up being okay. We.

29:31

Have an idea for you. Let's.

29:33

Do a thing Called and their first

29:35

Jeff warned me. He's like. Keep.

29:37

An open mind when we pitched the idea that

29:40

we're going to pitch you over this zoom call

29:42

which I'm like oh fuck here we go home

29:44

and when I'm out on a unicycle and clown

29:46

makeup and not I did you and jokes and

29:48

they're like we want you to do. We want

29:50

you to do a thing called Kill Tommy and

29:52

I'm like who are and I am I trying

29:55

to play it cool because I'm like. are

29:57

you guys gonna let me brand my

29:59

podcast on this fucking diabolically

30:02

huge comedy event. Like

30:05

this is what I'm thinking. They're like, yeah, and you pull

30:07

a name out of a bucket and it's gonna be Dana

30:09

White sitting next to you and it's good for Dana because

30:11

they'll only have to do a minute and da da da

30:13

da. And I'm like, this is fucking

30:15

crazy. And I go and I get to roast and

30:17

they're like, well, you know, there's the people at your

30:19

table that you can make fun of. I go, you

30:22

guys want me to make fun of the

30:24

greatest fighters in the world that haven't

30:26

been set up or made fun of

30:29

and Dana White who runs the only

30:31

sport that I like sitting next to

30:33

the octagon for. You're gonna fuck up

30:35

the only existing good relationship that I love

30:38

in the world. You want me to just

30:40

light up people at my table?

30:43

They're like, yeah, well, you get a minute. He could get like

30:45

a minute. Like, so Dana gets a

30:47

minute and I get a minute. I'm like,

30:50

so, you know, I had to fight

30:52

the entire time up until rehearsal 24

30:54

hours before, which a rehearsal

30:56

was just like a blocking. I'm just seeing

30:58

how everything looks on camera and me and

31:00

Dana are sitting there. And

31:03

the long and the short version of

31:05

the story is like, you know, I

31:07

go, you guys have got to let

31:09

me cook here. And I'm like not

31:12

arguing with this executive producer lady or

31:14

Jeff, it's kind of like, you know, I'm

31:16

kind of like, guys, this is

31:19

like, I can do this. Let me show you

31:21

what it would look like. Okay. And

31:23

one person's like, we see it as a desk

31:26

piece. Stay at the table. I'm

31:28

like, I hear you, but I

31:31

maybe I'm crazy here. This is literally

31:33

what I said. And I saw my

31:35

boys, Jerron Horton and Benji Aflalo, who

31:37

are two writers for the roast that

31:40

I got into writing roast jokes again,

31:42

a fucking decade ago. So these are

31:44

like my, it seems like they're working

31:46

for them, but they're kind of like

31:48

my fucking like interior

31:50

soldiers that, you

31:52

know, are, you know, and not owe

31:54

me anything, but we're all fucking homies.

31:57

Anyway, they walk into this blocking rehearsal.

31:59

And now I have like numbers a little bit,

32:02

right? And there's all these stand-ins

32:04

that are sitting there with your guys'

32:07

things on the dais. Burke Kreischer and Kevin

32:09

Hart is some different black guy standing there

32:11

looking for like camera blocking all this shit.

32:13

And they go, here's what it would look

32:15

like, all right? So Dana White, da da

32:17

da da da, ba ba ba ba. And

32:19

then I go, fuck you, bitch. And I

32:21

start walking, right? And I go, here's the

32:23

stool that Aaron Hernandez kicked out from under.

32:25

I start showing them jokes, which I didn't

32:27

do the whole time because you

32:29

don't want other writers or anybody

32:31

to hear any of your actual material.

32:33

I mean, they could hear your guys'

32:35

material, but I mean my good material.

32:37

I didn't want them to hear any

32:39

filler type, because

32:43

it's a sneaky business, especially

32:45

in Hollywood. That's why, oh, one of the many reasons

32:47

why I got the fuck out is like, make

32:50

your own shit, save it for you, enough

32:52

giving it away. So I wasn't doing any

32:54

of my jokes during the blocking thing. How,

32:57

how, how far ahead were you doing, like,

33:01

were you prepping the jokes? So

33:03

what's crazy is that I put

33:05

together a small four-person army immediately.

33:07

I treated this like I had

33:10

my own fucking, like

33:12

I was on the thing, like I

33:14

was going to do a full set

33:16

immediately at my giant fucking,

33:19

you know, office that I have. Anyway,

33:21

so like I treated

33:24

it, and maybe it's not necessarily

33:26

manifestation, but it was

33:28

extreme preparation. Another place where we differed. Keep going. Oh,

33:31

preparation, yeah. Preparation

33:33

H, maybe, am I right, hemorrhoid

33:35

guys? No, I'm kidding, anyway. But

33:38

I really did, and I was obsessed with it,

33:40

and you know, it

33:42

was kind of crazy, because I'm like, holy

33:44

shit, I am only obsessing about this right

33:46

now, but if it goes good, it'll

33:49

give me four or five days to obsess about my show

33:51

at the forum, which I had already put a lot of

33:53

effort into before the roast thing. So it was kind of

33:55

crazy, because I put all my

33:57

chips into this roast, Which is

33:59

crazy. Because again, I knew I was two

34:01

hours into the show at this point because that's

34:04

important and I figure that out. I know

34:06

that about Roasting is the deeper are you in,

34:08

the deeper you're in, the more you have to

34:10

kind of caught or readjust. And

34:13

see really dialed into what's happening on

34:15

say rice super would you be? fuck

34:17

did you edit I think dude, you

34:19

edited something out out ton Yeah, couldn't

34:21

I'm saying even from prompter right? Cause

34:23

I saw a hundred percent I we

34:25

are so readily so they did or

34:27

asinine how I was switching things around

34:29

yes and moving things and sliding in

34:31

new things and new headers and new

34:33

sweeteners and that even then nice shoes

34:35

bitch did you win those in the

34:37

divorce? The ballot check. Everything that I

34:39

started with which is a huge fucking

34:41

risk. Everything that I started. With with

34:43

I wrote at the table i guess

34:45

you'd like I'm like okay nobody said

34:48

that. He Randy Moss was begging for

34:50

ring Bilbao attacks. Phone is ringing. Ring

34:52

ring. Those. Shoes The topic I'm staring

34:55

at Tom Brady's use the whole time he was

34:57

pant legs are riding high on literally right and

34:59

or less status or some gave fuck ensues. The

35:01

under failed to do men if I had a

35:03

man that s to they were they were not.

35:06

They were like women's booth and by the way

35:08

that's another thing you talk about like especially a

35:10

risk at the top of the sat in that

35:12

situation for so I could have fallen off the

35:14

fucking stairs like is why enjoy thing could go

35:17

wrong And when I said my opening line that

35:19

when I did that turn from day in and

35:21

I got a nice shoes bed some fucking. Making

35:23

sure my phone up the stairs did you

35:25

windows in the divorce he goes on and

35:27

on the anybody notice this he goes the

35:29

our sub one of these right up your

35:32

fucking ass because he was not at he

35:34

didn't know who he didn't he he must

35:36

Now he says he must not have remembered

35:38

who the fuck I am or whatever. oh

35:40

he said it in the moment and if

35:42

you watch that roast if you watch it

35:44

became really see it. There is a pant

35:46

legs are down but they go hi there

35:48

so gay Yes anyway he goes I'll shove

35:50

it up your ass and at that moment.

35:52

I just. You'll notice V

35:55

re watch like I go. oh hey, every

35:57

better. Not quite a day or back of

35:59

my brain. Do

36:01

you acknowledge what Tom Brady der I

36:04

had? No order. You plow forward. That's

36:06

a while million dollar moment right now.

36:08

and I go. Yeah, Oh God. I

36:10

should acknowledge it. but it wasn't Might

36:12

nobody else heard it. It's too early

36:15

to burrow off everything. Ignore, ignore, Ignore.

36:17

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Run

36:19

the ball. Run the ball run. I

36:21

would go back to Like Football Guy

36:23

On You as the analogies. Anyway, I'm.

36:26

So. I ignore that which is fucking

36:28

great that I did to the all

36:30

the i made those mistakes before are

36:32

yet to the difference between guys that

36:34

are doing or us for the first

36:36

time and guys like you. Been doing

36:38

it for fucking fifteen players yes exactly

36:41

and again Tell Tony helps everything helps

36:43

you have to know what to ignore

36:45

what the move on keep the momentum

36:47

going says a thing for performing regular

36:49

shows to when you're when especially mused

36:51

me to stand up in arenas. Sometimes

36:53

you. You. Hear something or

36:55

see something and your brain in a moment

36:57

has to go. Is that worth? Acknowledging.

37:00

Because you realize fifteen thousand people didn't see

37:02

that? Are you going to derail the show?

37:05

And unless it's like know where the you

37:07

don't you let things slide and in the

37:09

you have to exactly. And then all of

37:11

a sudden. People. At home or like

37:14

the fuck is he talking? Would it not? and of

37:16

a day like? I bet you'd love to do that.

37:18

Tom Yeah, a car to work. That's not the only

37:20

thing you want us about my i yet to have

37:22

joke right after that. After. This she's

37:24

up the ass. I went straight to

37:26

because the positioning had changed. So like

37:28

so many things changed. Originally I had

37:31

Kevin Hart's shadow Randy Moss. that's not

37:33

your sad of that's Randy Moss but

37:35

now pronk with sitting in between. Are.

37:37

No knock around a ballot

37:39

with sitting in between. Grant.

37:42

and randy moss so instead of abandoning that

37:44

show completely i switched to grant cabin hearts

37:46

and i wrote the random is because now

37:48

i'm like i didn't realize randy moss was

37:50

gonna be next to build ballots act as

37:52

that wasn't in the blocking thing dell it's

37:54

it was a special gas came out late

37:56

so i'm like oh i can go this

37:58

way so i go Randy Moss, crazy that

38:00

you asked Bill Belichick for a ring. You know what

38:03

else doesn't have a ring? Bill

38:05

Belichick's phone. And then

38:07

I thought we're here for Tom, Aaron

38:09

Hernandez's stool, and all this stuff. Kevin

38:11

Hart, Kevin Hart, Kevin Hart, Kevin Hart,

38:14

right? So I was moving now

38:16

geographically. Can I interrupt? Instead of?

38:19

Yeah. Was it your choice to walk the dais? Because

38:21

that was my favorite part. Yeah. So

38:23

I didn't actually get to finish. When Jaron and

38:26

Benji and everybody in this rehearsal are coming in

38:28

and they're like, it's a desk piece. And I'm

38:30

like, having me sit at this table and shooting

38:32

it like that for a minute is like hiring

38:34

the world's greatest sushi chef to make you a

38:37

peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You guys have to

38:39

let me cook. I don't even like

38:41

use like cool slangs like that. But

38:43

I had heard it recently and I'm like, I kind of like that. Like

38:46

you have to let me cook. Let me cook. Someone

38:49

made that as a t-shirt. Yeah. Tony

38:51

Hinchcliffe let him cook. Yeah. And

38:53

I fucking agree. And I did. And I said it

38:55

and I go, you guys think I'm crazy? And

38:57

the director lady who was awesome.

39:01

Was rekt in like 12 years of Saturday Night Live.

39:03

Exactly. So she was there now too

39:05

in this rehearsal. We're going back 24 hours. And

39:08

I go, call me crazy, but shouldn't it

39:11

be like this? And I'm up there doing

39:13

it and I'm moving and I see her

39:15

like, yeah, because she has something to do

39:17

now that isn't just shooting the fucking podium

39:19

or shooting screen. Yeah. You

39:21

know, it's like. Mixes it up.

39:23

Yeah. It breaks up the monotony

39:25

and I had to come up with that idea.

39:28

The best though is that you told me later

39:30

because when you were done, you sat down

39:32

next to me and later on you

39:34

were like, yeah, I was told to go back to my

39:36

seat, but I fucking decided to sit right here. Let

39:40

them know. Well, actually one of

39:43

their original ideas was that's

39:45

what's crazy is they go, it's a desk piece. But

39:47

when you're done, you can go up and sit up

39:49

on the second level with

39:51

the with the players. Yeah. Why

39:53

would I do that? Why I just look like a like

39:56

a like an intruder or something. I want

39:58

to be part of this now. Like that's so weird. Let

40:00

me do what I can do and then

40:02

I'll end up there. Yeah and

40:05

so You know, so I

40:07

got it because the director was in and

40:09

my homies were like, yeah, that looks great

40:11

And just like yeah, man, that looks great.

40:13

So, you know and you know, no

40:16

Disrespecting Netflix or the EP because they couldn't

40:18

have known no, of course. I'm just some

40:21

fucking rabble-rouser That's just shooting my shot. It

40:23

could have seemed like I'm gonna go up

40:25

there and fucking you know But

40:28

everybody looked good in the end. They look like

40:30

fucking genius Yeah for sure But so

40:32

many switches were happening in the moment like if you

40:34

guys knew it would boggle your mind You want to

40:36

hear about our story? Oh, yeah,

40:39

let's do it. So they called

40:41

and They're I guess they called

40:43

Bert first. They're like, hey, we have this idea We

40:46

want to have you guys in the rose and then Bert said yeah 100%

40:51

Tom's into and they went well,

40:53

but we haven't reached out Thomas. We don't need

40:55

to we're in. Oh, wow Yeah,

40:57

we're in done done. They said we'll

40:59

pay so I said, okay So

41:03

how much they told me I said Tom I get the same

41:05

I said, yeah, so we were in oh

41:08

my god He called me he was like, hey, we're doing

41:10

the road doing the rose. Absolutely fucking nice. I didn't know

41:12

I Said

41:15

Tom light left light left. I

41:17

said why I knew that I knew that I knew I

41:19

knew two things I knew one is And

41:23

it was very clear to me when we got on the

41:25

dais is that not every Football player

41:27

was familiar with any of us comics and

41:29

I was like and not any of the comics have anything

41:31

that you can Make fun of I'm definitely a good target.

41:33

Oh, yeah So I was like I was like, I know

41:35

that's why I got the offer initially was like, yo

41:38

We've seen you get there's a lot to make fun of

41:40

you about yeah I didn't I didn't realize how much I

41:42

was bringing to the table to be made fun of I

41:44

didn't know how much I was Gonna make fun of myself Authentically

41:47

on accident. Yeah, but I was like, that's cool.

41:49

I'm in for that. I'll be I'll get lit

41:51

up I'm not good at roast jokes. I'm not

41:53

good at making fun of people So

41:56

and Jeff knew that and just like well, we want

41:58

to do something different. Yeah, Tom still like I'm not

42:00

doing it. Right. Yeah, I was like, no.

42:02

Smart. You

42:05

were right. I

42:08

was like, I don't know. We want to break up.

42:10

I guess sort of a version of what they

42:13

did with you. But they were like, we want to do

42:15

something different. We want to do the two of you. And

42:18

I was like, and then I thought, you

42:20

want us to both go to the podium together? And

42:23

they were like, no. Just like almost

42:25

like a variety piece. Maybe

42:27

a screen. First, it was pitched

42:29

as a sports center thing. So

42:32

when they pitched that one, we kind of

42:34

were like, I don't know, man. Making

42:38

fun of it in a sports center way. So

42:41

then we pitched this idea about making

42:43

fun of him with

42:46

whiteness, being

42:48

a psycho. And they're like, oh, yeah, no one's doing

42:50

that angle yet. Sent

42:53

them a script. They send their

42:55

script, like their punch-up script, combine the

42:57

two. Yeah, you're like, that's

42:59

good enough. Kind of. That's great.

43:01

I'll tell you what. I will say I

43:03

will. No reason to work on this anymore.

43:05

It's just the most watched thing ever. First

43:08

and foremost, first and foremost, all you should

43:10

be saying is, thank you, Bert and Tom.

43:13

Because without us, it is a bunch of people

43:15

doing the exact same thing. We

43:18

broke up. We definitely thank you again, Kardashian. It

43:20

was a comedy up until you guys started. Then

43:22

you guys got to really change the tone a

43:24

bit. Make everybody appreciative.

43:27

I had no idea. I

43:30

told him this. I'm still living in

43:32

oblivion. I had a blast. I think we

43:35

did great. I've not met one person that

43:37

did not like what we did. I

43:40

don't read comments, because there's like, what are

43:42

you going to shit on someone who didn't

43:44

maybe do as well as you or

43:47

Nicky? That's the thing. Right, of course. As well

43:49

as you and Nicky who were next level. It

43:51

was next level. And you have to realize. If

43:53

your team wins and you were on the dais,

43:55

all you do is go, that was fun and

43:57

fun as shit. It's like when you see a.

44:00

a boxer or a

44:02

wrestler attempt. The UFC.

44:06

It's the,

44:08

you can be an Olympic gold medalist,

44:10

standup comedian, and you go into that

44:12

world where Nicky has that much experience

44:14

and I. Oh, so much. We were

44:16

doing this, Peter

44:19

Shore, the owner of the comedy store, is

44:21

doing a mini documentary behind the scenes about

44:23

Kill Tony going to Madison Square Garden. It

44:25

just so happened that we're staying at the

44:28

same hotel in LA and he's shooting this

44:30

thing from the driver's seat, me, on the

44:32

way to the roast. And

44:34

I give this weird analysis, just looking out

44:37

the window, I kind of forget that he's

44:39

there. I'm just talking to my team, kind

44:41

of like talking out a meditative, like it's

44:43

corny as this sounds, like steak, because it's

44:45

jokes, who cares. But anyway, and I literally

44:48

called what was going to happen

44:50

because I know this world so well.

44:52

And I knew the order of events and I

44:55

literally go, it's gonna be a

44:57

fucking smoke show, the first

44:59

20, 30 minutes. I

45:02

go, the energy's gonna be insane,

45:04

it's gonna be beautiful, Tom's gonna look

45:06

great, it's gonna be intimidating, he's gonna

45:08

be taller than everybody remembers, he's gonna

45:10

be cooler than everybody thinks. And

45:13

Jeff and Nicky are going to

45:15

light the place on fire. I

45:17

go, especially, I mean,

45:19

Jeff, we know what he's going to do. Jeff

45:22

can't have a breakout performance because he's Jeff,

45:24

he's done it, he has a breakout performance.

45:27

Nicky, and I go, Nicky is going

45:29

to decimate the room and everybody is

45:31

going to be playing catch up. So

45:34

me two hours in after everybody

45:37

and their mother and every special guest

45:39

has to fucking just know that

45:41

that's going to happen, I can't be like, oh,

45:44

when there's no catching up to that. It's like

45:46

a mentality thing. I'm gonna ask you a very

45:48

fucked up question. Okay. But I've

45:50

wondered this. If

45:52

you had put Schultz in Nicky's spot, would

45:55

everyone be talking about Schultz and not Nicky?

45:59

If you would have put... Nikki and Schultz's spot.

46:02

And Schultz and Nikki's. It's

46:05

a flow thing. If you look at

46:07

Nikki's style, which she

46:10

stayed consistent throughout her roasting career,

46:12

if you look at her style,

46:14

she does this continuity thing. She

46:16

does this thing where she goes, bird, I love

46:19

your joke. And then the

46:21

ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-punch line,

46:23

ba-ba-ba-punch line, ba-ba-ba-punch line.

46:25

And it's just continuous.

46:28

And she's so good. You

46:31

gotta hand it to Kevin because he

46:33

can't reach it. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-punch line. I'm short,

46:35

which I love. If you look, you

46:38

know, I'm like known in

46:40

the writer's room for sending in eight

46:42

word jokes. Whereas so many people, you

46:44

could see, you can, we used to

46:46

do this thing, right? All the writers, say

46:48

there's fucking 12, 16 writers or

46:50

whatever, everybody sends in all their jokes. The

46:52

writer's assistant compiles them. And then we read

46:54

them in the room and all laugh, right?

46:58

You could see where my jokes start.

47:00

You can tell because it's these fucking

47:02

one liners where everybody else has like,

47:04

you know, three lines or a paragraph

47:07

or whatever the fuck it is. You

47:09

know, sometimes two lines, whatever. And if I

47:11

have a long one, if I have a

47:13

long one in my clump, it's like the

47:16

Burt, little Tiger King, Liber King, da-da-da-da-da-da.

47:18

People are like, what the fuck is that?

47:20

That's a great joke. But like, I'm obsessed

47:22

with short jokes. It's one of the reasons

47:24

why, you know, Jeff and I clung

47:27

together immediately. He's like, what the fuck? Peter,

47:29

make me another drink, please. So

47:34

it's not about who's, right? I'm not taking

47:36

away from Nicki. I'm not taking away from

47:38

Nicki. Nicki, look, I've known Nicki 20 years.

47:41

She is fucking, when

47:43

I stood backstage and I saw, first of

47:46

all, she was like 6'4 in that outfit.

47:48

She looks stunning. She was, I was drawn

47:50

to her out of all those people. And

47:52

I was like, oh, she's gonna fuck, she is walking in.

47:56

It was also a flawless set.

47:58

Oh, exactly. So

48:00

my point is, it's not who's

48:02

funnier or necessarily positioned. It's a

48:04

battle of styles. Schultz

48:07

had, you know, it's like a reload. You

48:09

know, he's moving on. Does this make

48:12

sense? There's breaks in the momentum.

48:14

You know, this person's here, da da da da da

48:17

da da da, boom. And it's great. And

48:19

it's huge. And then it's a reset. Right. It's

48:22

a reset. So the momentum breaks. I thought

48:24

Schultz did great. I thought he did. Me, Schultz and

48:26

Tom were all sitting together and after Nicky, all of

48:28

us were like, oh, holy fuck, man. This

48:30

is like, this is, it's going to be a tough

48:32

hill to climb. Oh, exactly. And Schultz,

48:34

I think Schultz was masterful. He was so

48:37

fucking good. Oh, totally, totally. I almost, I

48:39

would argue he is not brought, and

48:42

look, you and Nicky owned

48:45

that evening. I have nothing,

48:47

I have no flowers to take other

48:49

than to give. But I

48:51

do believe that people are understating. No one's really

48:53

talking about how great Schultz was. And

48:56

look, as a standup comedian, and

48:58

I love Andrew, he, three

49:00

hours in, this motherfucker goes up

49:02

after everyone has ringed this goddamn

49:04

thing dry and still crushes. Still,

49:08

people should be writing about him going

49:10

like, this dude had the fucking, he

49:12

was the fucking last dude in the

49:14

orgy. Oh yeah. And his dick was

49:16

still rock hard. Yep. And he blew a load in

49:18

her and he kissed her on the lips. Oh, 100%. No,

49:21

he was great. And now I'm hard. But

49:25

it's really, you know, another thing is

49:27

that with Nick, the

49:29

way Nicky writes and connects it all, like

49:31

a, like a model train almost,

49:33

like it's like, it all flows.

49:35

And if you look at her old roast, like

49:37

if you see an old clip of the things

49:40

she's done before, she's doing that there. She's so

49:42

good. Do you want to know? This was so

49:44

amplified. This will probably make some people crazy, maybe

49:46

make me crazy. A few nights

49:48

later, I was at the forum for my show. Yeah.

49:51

And the executives came by that show talking

49:53

about the roast, asked if I wanted to

49:55

be involved in the next roast. Oh,

49:57

wow. And that's after that set. even

50:00

ask me that that's how created I am by

50:02

the industry you guys went out there and did

50:04

what you did and you're already

50:06

being invited to the next one yeah it isn't

50:08

even booked yet yeah yeah fucking decimate and yeah

50:10

I have no idea what's going on well we'll

50:12

see if we can get put a word in

50:14

for you yeah that's the thing hey I'll send

50:16

you a screen grab I love it I can't

50:18

wait Tony yeah you want to

50:21

if you want you can write for us but

50:26

I didn't even get to tell you guys like

50:28

the one of the coolest parts of the thing

50:30

from my story just so you know

50:32

what an underdog I was yeah is

50:35

in the final thing it

50:37

was like okay you can roam the

50:39

stage but keep it to two

50:41

minutes two minutes which

50:43

is like crazy it's like five

50:46

jokes with applause breaks yeah you know I know

50:48

that I have the all hell naws up my

50:50

sleeve which I watched you I watched I watched

50:52

you cut off your applause breaks yeah yeah and

50:55

I watched you for the you would they would

50:57

start clapping and you go hip yeah and and

50:59

get it cuz I was like I was like

51:01

oh he's running this yeah and for the 17

51:04

people that are excited about the technical side

51:06

of roasting that I'm talking about here's the

51:08

crazy fun fact is that

51:10

it was only on that day before the

51:12

day before in which I had this like

51:15

breakthrough because I'm a stoner most people don't

51:17

know cuz I don't like make it my

51:19

identity or anything you know what I mean

51:21

but I smoke blondes all the time and

51:25

like I was just kind of chillin and I

51:27

had this like moment where I'm like wait a

51:29

second every other comedian is

51:31

going to be going off of arena timing

51:34

they're going to want to look good they're

51:36

going to want to get applause breaks they're

51:38

going to want to soak it in they're

51:41

giving me a shorter set

51:43

than everybody else and I'm

51:46

other than Jeff the roastiest comedian that

51:48

has anything to do with this thing

51:51

So I am going to hit the fucking

51:53

gas pedal You did. And I'm going to

51:55

play for the people that are watching at

51:58

home or the people that are screening. Grabbing

52:00

at for the internet I'm gonna

52:02

play towards them and send some two

52:04

hours then like I couldn't do that

52:07

early on right? Iraqi spot else it

52:09

would seem like as guys like to

52:11

rapid fire aca what's he do on

52:14

what zip a problem with anyway so

52:16

like. I. Had this moment

52:18

and and I ran up by our

52:20

Whitney Cummings said.and a brunch the day

52:22

before I got on the ask is

52:24

something she's a fucking gangster genius and

52:27

I go. I think I'm on a

52:29

play this thing like fast and hard

52:31

because I'm two hours and like that's

52:33

exactly it. You have to fuckin make

52:35

it yours go over the top and

52:37

yeah. That. Sounds right. And.

52:40

It was in a why secret weapon or wants

52:42

to pacing on that the arms and it was

52:44

you know I look at tom said this com

52:46

give you this compliment behind your back. A

52:49

they were talking about. People

52:52

were saying like how great. Was.

52:54

That rose. How great was Tony

52:56

Hinchcliffe? In that way, Tom's like,

52:58

you know we've watch this guy.

53:01

Cook. His entire life he and

53:03

his like we watches Guy be a monster,

53:05

his entire career we knew he had that

53:08

ability. I don't think we just got to

53:10

watch him shine to everyone where he's always

53:12

shine to us right? and as will got

53:14

bunch of very important people and everyone's like

53:16

really in Tom's like man that guy did

53:18

exactly what he does every single fucking night

53:21

he just got the platform to do it

53:23

on that and it will our me what

53:25

it felt like to me again. I always

53:27

make corny U S C analogies because it's

53:29

my other favorite thing. But like. Is in.

53:32

This is obnoxious to say that it really

53:34

felt like my like Nate Diaz vs. Connor

53:36

moment where everybody was shocked except for me

53:38

and even I was like and like when

53:40

Kevin Hart that moment you remember that moment

53:43

where it course he's going on and on

53:45

for a minute. Thirty seconds and I turned

53:47

to you and that was real By the

53:49

way, I wasn't kidding. I literally go is

53:51

he still talking about me in ago. yeah

53:54

i remember your face like yeah do

53:56

as is your buck in yeah moment

53:58

the right now Well then Tony turned

54:00

to me he goes I've arrived. I

54:02

said that? Yeah and you go and

54:04

now everybody knows. I said you know

54:06

it's so funny. It's what

54:08

you did is is I

54:10

will say is bigger than

54:13

a Netflix special. It feels that way.

54:15

It is. I mean I mean it was

54:17

bigger than a Netflix special.

54:19

What Nikki did, what

54:22

Nikki, and Nikki eclipsed everyone.

54:24

Oh yeah, and I'm saying the two takeaways were

54:27

you and Nikki that was it that was it

54:29

for the whole night. Yeah, and I

54:31

think it goes understated how brilliant Kevin Hart was.

54:33

Yeah, Kevin Hart was. He was. Oh my God.

54:35

Brilliant. He was great. He set the stage. He

54:37

set the energy for that room. It doesn't get

54:40

talked about because he's like a superstar. He does

54:42

all this shit and yeah, you know the jokes

54:44

are like he does everything but watching him just

54:46

as the host of that and the energy and

54:49

the like he was fantastic. Oh, I mean that's

54:51

the it's the Jeff Ross effect, right? It's like

54:53

you're like. question

55:24

about it. I don't know if you guys have a question about the

55:26

internet being as bad as I do. I know.

55:28

I know that you're like I don't know if you guys have a

55:30

question about it. I know that you got a question about it. I

55:32

know it's funny. I know that you guys have

55:34

a question about it. And he said to me. He's like, I'm not

55:36

a giant fan of the internet, but he said on our podcast. We're

55:38

sending you privately and he said, let them go

55:40

after my buddy. Wait, you see what I burn down and I was like,

55:42

okay, I got that for you. Then if we die, we die together. I

55:44

will tell you I'm gonna fuck with anyone says on the internet. We didn't

55:46

die. We had a great time. And we sat down confident. We're like dodge.

55:48

We had the internet's gonna decide. Whatever they want to hate. I don't really give

55:51

a fuck. You guys are bawling out of control.

55:53

It was. It was kind of funny We sat down Tom

55:55

Brady was like that was great after

55:58

the Netflix people the after party I

56:00

had to call him. I go, do you know

56:02

that like online they're like you guys ate shit?

56:04

And I was like I had no idea But

56:07

I made this point on other

56:09

podcasts about especially about The

56:12

non-comics meaning like the athletes kim

56:14

kardashian. She's a great example uh

56:17

and ben aflick kim kardashian gets up there And

56:21

and she's getting booze, right? But what

56:23

she does is she stays unflustered Stays

56:26

in the pocket keeps on prompter

56:28

and eventually The jokes

56:31

she got to jokes that won the crowd over and

56:33

they ended up applauding and you're like wow She went

56:35

from there like we hate you till they gave her

56:37

props Ben went up there and I

56:40

don't know if it was uh A panic

56:42

thing or what but it just went yeah,

56:44

it went off the rails. No, it

56:46

was weird That that whole that whole

56:49

thing was just bizarre. Yeah, the ben

56:51

part was goofy, but it shows you

56:53

that it ain't easy I think it shows you it

56:55

ain't easy. I also think that um Because

56:57

we didn't know he was there. I don't know if you knew

56:59

we didn't know he was there I heard a rumor that he

57:02

might be there. So I had a couple things up my sleeve,

57:04

but there was also like You

57:06

know, he had a daughter that just came

57:08

out as trans. No, did you know that?

57:10

No. Yeah She's like i'm a

57:12

man So

57:16

stupid catch me doing that at the next

57:18

multimedia roast uh, No,

57:22

the thing is they told us he was back

57:24

there later on yeah with writers Up

57:26

until I think he went on which tells you that

57:29

you're making Last-minute changes

57:31

which probably are changes that

57:33

he suggested exactly which is

57:36

Very dangerous dangerous. What's the problem is that

57:38

well, and I and I think you know,

57:40

once again I was I always go back

57:42

to the writers because they're mike gibbons mike.

57:44

Lawrence. Uh, I I'm

57:46

I'm thinking of the two mics, but

57:49

monsters they they all know so

57:52

much More than we do. Oh,

57:55

yeah, and sometimes if you don't I mean look

57:57

I see mike. Lawrence and I go tell me

57:59

what to say. He gave me the

58:01

Hitler joke on the day of. He was

58:04

like, uh, you know, Hitler stuck with his wife

58:06

until the end. And I was like, oh, awesome.

58:08

Like I know he's a better comic

58:10

than I am. He is just, that guy's

58:12

brain is better than mine. If he took

58:15

his shirt off and got drunk, he might

58:17

be having a better career than me. But,

58:19

um, but, um, listen,

58:25

I'm likable. I get it. But,

58:28

uh, but I think that's the

58:31

problem when you get these superstars in there where

58:33

they go, I know what I'm doing. And

58:35

I'm not gonna listen to Mike Lawrence or Mike

58:37

Gibbons or all the great writers that are attached

58:40

to that. Which is a very movie star thing

58:42

to do. I can't shit on Ben Affleck. No,

58:45

I'm not shitting on him. I just think

58:47

that's the decision thing. If he was making

58:49

adjustments to a camera angle or a movie

58:51

or something like that, that would make sense.

58:53

What did you think of his angle? Do

58:55

you think that angle could have been funny?

58:57

No, it was stupid. In fact, it stepped

58:59

on what Tom was about to do later.

59:02

Somebody should have made huge

59:04

adjustments to that. That's where a network executive

59:06

should have been like, wait a second. This

59:08

is kind of like talking about internet trolls.

59:10

I'll tell you what I think is like

59:12

almost a thing there is that Ben

59:14

Affleck is a super sharp guy. And

59:17

I think you can, a really smart

59:19

person who's really creative, you

59:21

can get into overthinking these

59:23

things. Whereas like the

59:26

regular joke writer, roast writer is like,

59:28

here you go. And they go, I

59:31

want to elevate this more. It's like

59:34

it's overdoing the bit. And I think that's

59:36

really why it didn't ultimately.

59:38

It just takes tons and tons

59:40

and tons of experience doing that.

59:42

Like even my set, going back

59:44

to it again, like it's like

59:47

being raised in an all black neighborhood and

59:50

doing every single black show that I could

59:52

do when I was in LA. All the

59:54

trip and on Tuesdays, the crack them up

59:56

Thursdays, the moped of Mondays, the chocolate Sundays,

59:58

like there's all these. different call

1:00:01

Wednesday we hate white

1:00:03

Wednesday no I'm kidding

1:00:05

I don't know yeah

1:00:08

but all

1:00:12

of that put together all of the risks

1:00:14

that I took in each one of those

1:00:16

shows was applied to what can I get

1:00:18

away with okay so I'm calling Kevin Hart

1:00:22

a shadow to Gronkowski I'm

1:00:25

saying that Kevin Hart is

1:00:28

so small that when his ancestors picked caught

1:00:30

and they called it deadlifting I'm like oh

1:00:32

fuck that's right there on the line right

1:00:34

up against it and then

1:00:37

there's definitely some of the athletes

1:00:39

on stage yeah oh what's amazing

1:00:41

and again the fucking director got

1:00:43

him blanking out Judy

1:00:45

or Beth Beth right I

1:00:48

mean my god she fucking got this shit

1:00:50

and it could have backfired but we did

1:00:52

the goddamn dance yes yes

1:00:55

yes Beth McCarthy Miller killed it

1:00:57

so for example when I'm doing

1:00:59

the cotton picking Kevin

1:01:01

Hart joke she literally has two

1:01:03

black offensive linemen from the Tampa

1:01:06

Bay Buccaneers over each one of

1:01:08

my shoulders and I they're

1:01:10

literally like they have their drinks and shit one

1:01:13

of them does at least and I

1:01:15

go Kevin Hart is so

1:01:17

small that when his ancestors

1:01:19

pick cotton and at that part you see them

1:01:21

both go like and

1:01:23

like one's taking a sip like that

1:01:25

like literally they're in over my shoulders

1:01:28

flanking me and when

1:01:30

I hit the deadlifting part you see them

1:01:33

both like one goes that way and one

1:01:35

goes that way laughing and it's like whoo

1:01:37

yeah thank God how many of those did

1:01:39

you have shows I imagine what those

1:01:42

shows you're talking about coming up where

1:01:45

you took a risk like that and it

1:01:47

just went horribly wrong so many so many

1:01:49

I had one where I went

1:01:51

off on this one guy in an all black show

1:01:54

like I mean the super black show they used to

1:01:56

do this thing in a movie theater I

1:02:00

mean, it was like gang, gang, gang,

1:02:02

gang, gang, gang, gang, LA gang, gang,

1:02:05

gang, gang, super gang gang show. I

1:02:07

cannot describe to you how dangerous the

1:02:09

show was. I was

1:02:11

like one of three token white guys

1:02:13

that were in the rotation for this

1:02:16

thing because I would go for it. One

1:02:20

night this guy, I do

1:02:22

a Michael Jackson pedophile joke and

1:02:25

some guy with a big fucking

1:02:27

grill and you know, just, you

1:02:30

can picture it. Stan Zimba goes, you

1:02:32

don't make fun of Michael Jackson, fuck

1:02:34

you homie. And I go fuck

1:02:36

you, you broke bitch. And like I'm, I just start

1:02:38

going in on him in the crowd. Boom,

1:02:40

I'm smashing this guy, right? But I got there

1:02:42

late and then had to run to the comedy

1:02:44

store. So I don't know who anybody in the

1:02:46

place is. I go look at your tin foil

1:02:48

bitch ass grill. Sit down

1:02:50

you fucking broke ass bitch. You spent all

1:02:53

your money on the outfit you wore out

1:02:55

tonight. The crowd's just roaring and they were

1:02:57

roaring a little bit too

1:02:59

loud but I didn't really notice why I

1:03:01

didn't think anything of it. And I'm running

1:03:04

late to my spot at the comedy store. I get a

1:03:06

call from my manager on a

1:03:09

speaker phone and I take it. I go what's up?

1:03:12

I just had a fun set at the black show

1:03:14

and he goes, yeah, did you

1:03:16

just completely annihilate ASAP

1:03:20

Rocky? I'm like, oh

1:03:22

fuck. Oh, is that

1:03:24

who that was? And they're like, yep,

1:03:26

I just got a call from one of my

1:03:28

assistants saying that ASAP Rocky is

1:03:30

like mad but happy but mad.

1:03:33

I'm like, oh shit. This

1:03:35

is the thing. There's two questions I

1:03:37

have to ask. But

1:03:40

one is I find really interesting and I find it

1:03:42

interesting now that your name's being

1:03:44

brought up to me so often is I

1:03:47

don't think people know who you are.

1:03:49

I think when people think of you,

1:03:51

they think of Hollywood, LA, moved to

1:03:53

Austin, Embrace the Austin, Outlaw, what you

1:03:55

would call it. But it all stems

1:03:58

from you growing up. didn't even

1:04:00

realize this in a rough part of

1:04:02

Ohio. Oh, yeah, the roughest. And I

1:04:04

don't think Youngstown, I didn't understand how

1:04:06

rough it was. You don't look

1:04:08

like that. Exactly. And I don't sound like

1:04:10

it. A lot of, that's why one of

1:04:12

my least favorite things in the world are

1:04:14

white people that try to sound

1:04:17

black that were raised in all black neighborhoods.

1:04:19

Cause it's like, you don't have to, you

1:04:21

don't have to do that. That's weird. Cause

1:04:24

like no one, I swear to

1:04:26

God, I wish I could show

1:04:28

you like video, like, like fucking,

1:04:30

uh, Google maps 3d. Like

1:04:33

my neighborhood was so diabolically insane that

1:04:35

it's unbelievable to the human eye. Like

1:04:37

if we made a movie about it,

1:04:39

no one would believe it. No one

1:04:41

would believe it. So the coolest thing

1:04:43

about you is that like, and so,

1:04:45

but that's where the fearlessness begins. So

1:04:47

what's crazy is that by the time

1:04:49

I hit the cotton picking and by

1:04:52

the time I hit the, you know,

1:04:54

this, the bath, the fearlessness with him,

1:04:56

I moved to Sam J, black,

1:04:59

obese, lesbian. So Netflix checked

1:05:01

off a lot of boxes. Now I hit

1:05:03

them once in the ribs, right? Yeah. Mr.

1:05:05

Two minutes that stay at the desk. We

1:05:07

didn't want them here anyway. Right. Just one

1:05:10

little, one little, yeah. And

1:05:12

so I was

1:05:14

actually, that all hell

1:05:16

nods joke, which I

1:05:19

knew the second it clicked in my

1:05:21

head, like I was actually,

1:05:23

um, this sounds crazy, but I was getting

1:05:25

a massage at the time. And

1:05:28

I trap

1:05:30

a lot of shit in my shoulders. This

1:05:32

is a weird, like braggadocious stupid thing. But

1:05:35

like the masseuse had

1:05:37

her fucking elbow right in here. And I'm

1:05:39

trying to think of a Sam J joke.

1:05:42

And I'm like, okay, black lesbian. Come

1:05:44

on, Tony. You've got this. You've got

1:05:46

this. So what did

1:05:49

they do? They eat pussy, right? But what

1:05:51

a black women say, what a black women

1:05:53

say, oh, hell nah. And

1:05:56

I'm like, Oh my God. Nah, nah,

1:05:58

nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. She

1:06:00

doesn't eat pussy. She all hell-naws on it

1:06:02

and I stopped the massage and I'm literally

1:06:04

like I gotta I'm sorry I have to

1:06:06

get up and I get my face out

1:06:08

of my you know What I know your

1:06:11

face is swollen You can't even open your

1:06:13

eyes and shit and I'm writing this down

1:06:15

and I tell them a sooth this perfect

1:06:17

little like sweet Innocent right bull of a

1:06:19

chick that fucking goes crazy on my

1:06:22

upper back. I Go, I

1:06:24

just wrote a joke about a black lesbian.

1:06:26

I said she doesn't eat pussy She all

1:06:28

hell-naws on it and I've never she's like

1:06:32

And she's not that type of person

1:06:35

like hysterically crack up and

1:06:37

I'm like, oh fuck This is

1:06:39

like a crazy joke like it's different

1:06:41

than it's a great joke It's a

1:06:43

fucking you gotta go for it. You have to

1:06:46

believe in if you I mean another super technical

1:06:48

thing is I take a few Steps out. I

1:06:51

saw a Drake concert Like

1:06:53

eight months ago Which was amazing and I kept

1:06:55

noticing that he would do this thing where he

1:06:57

would go right up to the edge of the

1:07:00

stage at times He's on a box in the

1:07:02

round and on big things and on big lines

1:07:04

It almost looked like his foot was hanging off

1:07:06

and like he was in it's a high stage

1:07:08

extra high stage too and it would look like

1:07:11

he was about to fall off and I loved

1:07:13

it sometimes I'll see like a great concert or

1:07:15

something and I'll be like, oh that's rock. Yeah,

1:07:17

that's good So I started kind of applying that

1:07:19

to the big theaters stand-up shows that I was

1:07:22

doing and on the all hell-naws joke I was

1:07:24

so excited and I looked down I almost

1:07:26

fell off the fucking stage live on Netflix

1:07:28

because I took a few steps up I

1:07:30

go she doesn't eat pussy. She ah Like

1:07:33

I mean I literally stepped out for

1:07:35

almost alive on Netflix in the middle

1:07:38

of a killer set almost Disappeared out

1:07:40

of a real quick before we wrap

1:07:42

up. How happy is your mom for

1:07:44

all? Oh, she's ecstatic She's

1:07:47

absolutely fucking she came on your mom's

1:07:49

house. Yeah, ten years ago or something

1:07:51

Oh, she's like one of my favorite

1:07:53

things. Oh, yeah, she loves you guys.

1:07:56

She she talks about that all

1:07:58

the time But she must be elated for

1:08:00

your success. Oh it's absolutely insane.

1:08:02

She's like my doctor and the

1:08:04

ladies at the, you know, she's 78. Yeah.

1:08:07

She's like I went to my doctor's appointment all the

1:08:09

ladies are like are you Tony's mommy killed

1:08:11

it? That's awesome. Like everywhere she goes which

1:08:13

is like there. That's where 78 year olds

1:08:16

go. Yeah. To the doctor's office where there

1:08:18

hangs. Yeah. All right one more question. Yeah.

1:08:20

One more question and this

1:08:22

is maybe a useless question. You've been

1:08:24

doing stand up how long? 17 years.

1:08:27

17 years. I've been doing it 22 maybe

1:08:29

23 maybe 24. Wow. Which is another crazy

1:08:34

thing. Sorry to interrupt you for a change.

1:08:36

Payback's a bitch. But no

1:08:40

that week, this crazy week that I had was my

1:08:42

17 year anniversary of starting stand

1:08:44

up at the comedy store and my

1:08:46

three year anniversary of my cancellation all

1:08:49

in the same crazy ass week that

1:08:51

I had in LA which was pretty

1:08:53

crazy. Fucking nuts. Yeah. Staple Center, TwoForums,

1:08:55

YouTube theater and I got to basically

1:08:57

call my shot at the comedy store.

1:08:59

Like the highest level that you dream

1:09:02

up as a door guy being able

1:09:04

to be the special guest pop

1:09:06

in and be like I want to go now. Which

1:09:09

you know I only was doing my

1:09:11

normal set. Yeah. Like a good human.

1:09:13

But you know

1:09:16

it was just a very surreal week

1:09:18

of hitting the, yeah that's like it.

1:09:20

Yeah. I've shared a lot of moments

1:09:22

with you privately that I don't mind

1:09:24

sharing that but

1:09:26

I in saying that I know your

1:09:29

struggle, I know where you have been, I remember

1:09:31

when the fucking cancel thing happened. I remember when

1:09:33

you were not the hot ticket item. Right. I

1:09:35

remember you getting in trouble for shit you sat

1:09:37

on a plane with Joe one time. I remember

1:09:40

all that. You were there. You were

1:09:42

the only person that was there the day I

1:09:44

did my first

1:09:47

paid regular spot. You were the only person, you pulled me

1:09:49

aside and you said I know this is a big moment

1:09:51

for you. You brought

1:09:54

me out and it was and we shared that

1:09:56

privately. We had a shot together. And

1:10:00

So I know you how tough is

1:10:02

it with these kids that are doing Kill Tony that

1:10:05

are now all the sudden? So

1:10:07

famous doing these arena shows and

1:10:09

they're very talented. Yeah, Cam Patterson.

1:10:11

I took him on the

1:10:13

road He's one of the most enjoyable human beings to

1:10:15

be around his dad is fucking amazing all the time

1:10:18

Onstage offstage at restaurants on that

1:10:20

Emma trip everywhere But how do

1:10:22

you keep it measured for them

1:10:24

to let them know

1:10:26

yo, you still just started? This

1:10:29

is a long career and you're getting so

1:10:32

fucking there's with the kid that moves

1:10:34

around rock and rod. Yeah, you rock

1:10:36

it Casey rocket, I

1:10:38

mean he's fucking he's so fun to watch

1:10:41

but you how do you do

1:10:43

you talk to them? Like

1:10:45

like Joe talked to us or to

1:10:47

keep them measured to go Hey, you're just starting

1:10:49

and there's gonna be a long career and it's

1:10:51

it's not always gonna be as fire hot as

1:10:53

it is right now And

1:10:55

like because that's the most fascinating thing. It's

1:10:58

the secret sauce to my life It's the

1:11:00

thing that actually keeps everything in balance. I

1:11:02

don't have kids. I don't know, you know

1:11:04

a wife I so

1:11:07

as Corny as this sounds

1:11:09

they kind of are my You

1:11:12

know not children, but fucking sort

1:11:14

of I love comedy so much

1:11:17

I live it and breathe it

1:11:19

and so my favorite

1:11:21

thing is to tell them everything that

1:11:23

I know you know, kill Tony is

1:11:25

a It's

1:11:28

it's it's actually modeled after

1:11:31

kill bill which is like

1:11:33

training Assassins that was

1:11:35

the original idea of the name behind

1:11:37

it is like let's Fucking

1:11:40

kind of help people and teach them

1:11:44

Everything that we know and and and

1:11:46

and be fearless and work with the

1:11:48

funniest people we know And

1:11:50

if you're good, you get a golden

1:11:53

ticket if you're great if you're unbelievable,

1:11:55

you're a fucking regular Cam

1:11:57

got regular ship after one set It's

1:12:00

unprecedented on that show for me to

1:12:02

go, you know what? You're so good.

1:12:05

I want to see a new 60

1:12:07

seconds from you every single week. It

1:12:09

is such a hard position. He's the

1:12:12

youngest ever regular. He's the greenest regular

1:12:16

He had only been doing it in Austin a couple

1:12:18

months when he was made a regular He was doing

1:12:20

it in Tampa couple I think a year and a

1:12:23

half or two years something crazy And

1:12:25

so like, you know to work with the

1:12:27

funniest people, you know and to get to

1:12:29

help them and truly help them I mean,

1:12:32

I tell them all the same thing you

1:12:34

have to write write write write, right? Don't

1:12:37

waste your energy on bullshit and don't do

1:12:39

a ton of other people's podcasts They're all

1:12:41

gonna try to suck the energy

1:12:43

out of you wait to do the big

1:12:45

podcast if you want to promote yourself because

1:12:47

Everybody gets hit up immediately if you have

1:12:49

a good set on Kill Tony you get

1:12:51

invited to 30 Austin Not

1:12:54

open micers, but you know, whatever. Yeah, yeah I

1:12:57

give them all the advice which I that I can

1:13:00

which is all trickle down from Joe which

1:13:02

I think goes for all of Us Joe created

1:13:04

this paradigm where you share all the information Absolutely

1:13:07

if Kill Tony was 20 years ago

1:13:10

It would be a shit show. Yep that kid cam.

1:13:13

He we did an arena in Portland,

1:13:16

Maine and During

1:13:18

my set he went and did two open mics.

1:13:20

Yeah, they're crazy. That's what they do came back

1:13:23

Yeah, dad's like his dad was there his dad's

1:13:25

like you should be hanging out. He's like, no,

1:13:27

I gotta get on stage I was like that's

1:13:29

the fucking hunger man What they

1:13:31

do and that's how I was I was

1:13:33

a fucking nut my boy Toby

1:13:35

who just moved here to be a bartender

1:13:37

here He was a former bartender at the

1:13:39

comedy store Reminded me the other

1:13:42

day He goes dude.

1:13:45

I was telling somebody about your work ethic. They

1:13:47

were talking shit They were saying I don't know

1:13:49

how Tony got this or that or whatever. I

1:13:51

go. Let me tell you something Tony He's from

1:13:54

Chicago. I'm a bad impressionist. But anyway, he goes

1:13:56

Tony used to fucking when I was a door

1:13:58

guy at the store He

1:14:01

goes Tony used to get on the fucking tour buses

1:14:03

that would pull up in front of the store and

1:14:05

go hey I'm gonna do three minutes And

1:14:08

I he reminded me of that yeah I used

1:14:10

to do that like if it was before a

1:14:12

shift or whatever and the TMZ bus Came

1:14:14

up and they had a microphone on the thing

1:14:16

so I would go right up there and I

1:14:18

go hey How's everybody doing? I had some bad

1:14:21

jobs in my day You see a busboy in

1:14:23

a bag boy like all these corny shit terrible

1:14:25

fucking beginner level jokes and But

1:14:27

but it was work I'm getting better and

1:14:29

that's how they all are and I share that with

1:14:31

them I go if you guys want to go bomb

1:14:33

it and open mic after fucking doing a sold-out theater

1:14:35

with me feel free They've been doing that the whole

1:14:37

time Hans Kim him William Casey. They just

1:14:40

can't get enough They have a vegetable appetite

1:14:42

or a maid comics And if they get

1:14:44

one little tag or one little thing all

1:14:47

of a sudden that's 15 20 seconds out

1:14:49

of next week's minute that They've chipped away

1:14:51

at so, you know kill Tony you get

1:14:53

to actually watch these people grow And

1:14:56

it's you know, they everybody in-house

1:14:58

loves them when they see their

1:15:00

long sets and People

1:15:04

can nitpick, you know at their minutes

1:15:06

on kill Tony But never

1:15:08

ever ever in the history of comedy have you

1:15:10

gotten to watch? Somebody's actual

1:15:13

growth you're getting to watch them

1:15:15

put together their brand and their

1:15:17

cams new minutes are always fucking

1:15:19

good bro The Casey Rockets is

1:15:21

fucking awesome William and Hans

1:15:23

all the all the people you have on

1:15:25

David Lucas is a monster There's

1:15:27

so many fucking great. You're so good for

1:15:30

comedy the thing we love the most and

1:15:32

and look at all Fish stinks

1:15:35

at the head Joe Rogan created a

1:15:37

paradigm for us to give. Oh, yeah,

1:15:39

and and you man. I'm I'm

1:15:42

so Happy for

1:15:44

your success genuinely happy. Thank you. Would

1:15:46

you kill them? I was like, yeah

1:15:49

I told you I was very proud of you man. Oh,

1:15:51

yeah, that was amazing. You like helped me like Settle

1:15:54

back in like the adrenaline from that because

1:15:56

it was kind of like I don't know

1:15:58

eight mile issue my like moment right

1:16:01

just letting go and have

1:16:03

letting all the work do it for

1:16:05

me yeah and like being there with you and

1:16:07

like I looked out in the crowd and I

1:16:09

thought it was like a blur as corny as

1:16:11

that sounds cuz I've done arenas and I've done

1:16:13

stand-up in the round at Madison Square Garden and

1:16:16

all these places with Joe and my

1:16:18

own big giant theaters but there was something

1:16:20

about all of that coming together live on

1:16:22

Netflix awesome to see and we're super happy

1:16:24

for you personally for the podcast too also

1:16:26

we will call you on the next roast

1:16:29

yeah I'm gonna help you guys out I'll

1:16:32

do the same fucking set thank

1:16:35

you fucking set thank you

1:16:38

can suck my dick America the world

1:16:40

is global bird the whole world we'll

1:16:42

see you next time thanks guys thank

1:16:44

you oh

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