0:00

Hey, it's Kathy. I'm so excited

0:02

because, drum roll please, doors are

0:04

officially open to my program, The

0:06

Abundance Method. I have been

0:08

wanting to put this program out in the world

0:11

for two and a half years. I've been working

0:13

on it behind the scenes and this is my

0:15

signature program. This is the program that is going

0:17

to teach you the method, the framework for how

0:20

to become a master manifestor in your life. Why

0:22

is that? Because everything is vibration. We live in

0:24

a world that is atomic. That means the world

0:26

is made of atoms, which is energy. 99.9% of

0:29

every atom is energy and less than 1% particle.

0:33

So in order for us to manifest

0:35

in our life, we need to become

0:37

the highest vibe possible and to sustain

0:39

that. This program is going to show

0:41

you how to meditate and how to set your

0:43

day on the right track so that you have

0:46

a practice that can help you

0:48

project your amazing energy into the world, which

0:50

will bend the 3D, which will help you

0:52

manifest in ways that you won't even believe.

0:54

This is a transformative live program. It is

0:56

designed to help you on this journey of

0:59

spiritual awakening. It's going to give you tons

1:01

of tools. I'm going to show you how

1:03

to change your energy, master the manifestation once

1:05

and for all. This is the first program

1:07

of its kind. We're actually trademarking all of

1:10

this framework because it is something that is

1:12

so unique and I think you're going to

1:14

be so excited about learning it. Also, there

1:16

are some bonuses right now. If you sign

1:18

up before May 14th, you're going to get the

1:20

following, a magic morning journal, which is going to

1:22

help you every day to set your energy in

1:24

the right way, daily prompts. Plus, you're going to

1:26

get an exclusive podcast so that you can be

1:29

listening to this program. If you can't make the

1:31

live Zoom calls, we can give it to you

1:33

on a track so that you can be listening

1:35

to it like you do a podcast. Also,

1:37

you're going to get a pack of 10

1:39

meditations from me and you're going to be getting

1:41

a training that I just gave a workshop called

1:44

Permission to be Rich, one of the best workshops

1:46

I've ever done, which you will love. There

1:48

is a platinum level to this program.

1:50

If you choose the platinum level, not only

1:53

do you get extra coaching calls with me,

1:55

you also get extra mentor support, but this

1:57

is really cool. You also get a retreat

1:59

includes. included. My retreats are normally

2:01

$3,000. You will get the retreat for

2:03

free included. Plus, you will get a front

2:05

row seat at that retreat because you will

2:08

be on the Platinum VIP track at the

2:10

retreat. All of this is here for you.

2:12

I'd love to see you in

2:14

this program. I want to see you tapping

2:16

in, turning on to that electricity within you

2:19

so that you can find your way to

2:21

the life that you were born to manifest

2:23

for yourself. You can join us now at

2:25

kathyhow.com/join. I cannot wait. Get on in

2:27

there, see what all the excitement is about. It's going to be

2:30

so much fun. What

2:32

defines our humanity is

2:35

compassion, caring for others, alleviating

2:38

the suffering of others. And

2:40

when we do that, the void

2:42

which I alluded to is no

2:46

longer a void. It is bursting

2:49

with incredible love

2:53

that sets your physiology

2:56

in its best position.

2:58

You thrive. Hey

3:20

guys, it's Kathy Heller. Welcome back to Abundant Ever

3:22

After. Today, we have an incredible

3:24

guest. Dr. James Dodie is back on

3:26

the show. He's a Stanford neurosurgeon, founder

3:28

and director of Stanford Center for

3:30

Compassion and Altruism Research and Education.

3:33

He's a New York Times bestselling author,

3:35

inventor, entrepreneur and philanthropist. We had

3:37

him on the show before to talk about his beautiful

3:39

book, Into the Magic Top, which really is an

3:42

incredible book. And this month he released

3:44

another magnificent book. It's called Mind Magic,

3:46

The Neuroscience of manifestation and how it

3:48

changes everything. And It's all about how

3:50

to harness your mind's power and reclaim

3:53

your own agency. He Cultivated a six

3:55

step process to help you refocus your

3:57

attention, desires, intention, passion and expectations. You

4:00

can consciously create the life you want and he'll

4:02

the world or medicine. His. Newest book is

4:04

incredible. A highly recommend that you get yourself a copy

4:06

of As as a joy to have Doctor Dirty back

4:08

on the show. He's in studying and living

4:11

this work for decades and his son so much

4:13

to bring more love and compassion to the world.

4:15

On top of that, he's just such a kind

4:17

and generous humble saw. It's always a pleasure to

4:19

be speaking with him. I know the are going

4:21

to actually love what he has. His era. So

4:23

without further ado, please welcome the brilliant James

4:26

Etti. Thank. You so much

4:28

for coming back. You. Are. A

4:30

phenomenal human being. I read

4:32

your first book devoured at

4:34

and then couldn't believe. What

4:37

you just wrote I was like

4:39

i can't believe somebody not only

4:41

sad the thought, To. Do

4:43

this. But someone like you. Someone.

4:46

Was your intention compassion? Your life's

4:48

work? It's isn't It lands and

4:51

such as own profitable way south.

4:54

Thank. You for putting the spoken the

4:56

world. But. You and I presume

4:58

you have become so. That. You have

5:00

as well. So. I feel like we

5:02

as human beings, we see so much

5:04

further with our eyes close and when

5:06

their eyes open and. We believe so

5:09

much and so many things we've made

5:11

meaning of that aren't even real. And.

5:14

Then a time someone like you and says. Maybe.

5:17

I can point you overhear and

5:19

maybe there is ease and magic

5:21

available to you. Tell

5:23

me about this book and

5:26

in this buzzword manifests a

5:28

son. It's so loaded for

5:30

people. So. Unpack.

5:33

First. Of all, what does that mean?

5:35

Ceo? Some manifests in your life.

5:38

Sure, we'll all of us have

5:40

desires or goals. Her motivations maybe

5:42

also the word intentions. But really,

5:44

the key is how do we

5:46

make those happen right? And all

5:48

of us are trying to do

5:51

that. Some. Of us, the

5:53

average person does it by simply said,

5:55

you know I want this to happen

5:57

and many to sleep at a pair

5:59

of them. It's a subset of people

6:01

who. Have been

6:03

exposed to books like The

6:06

Secrets. Or what I

6:08

would call the Prosperity

6:10

Gospel which I think.

6:13

unfortunately. Utilizes

6:15

a narrative. That

6:17

manifestation said allow

6:20

you to be

6:22

selfish. And what I

6:24

mean by that is the way it's promoted.

6:26

It's I Want I want I want I

6:28

want. And I see. The.

6:30

Frankly, that's one of the first

6:33

mistakes. Of that this

6:35

mariners the way we have

6:37

evolved as the human species,

6:39

and the way. We

6:41

the thrive. Is

6:43

Ashley? Connection. To

6:46

others, frankly it's want to

6:48

use the term compassion a

6:50

leading the suffering of others.

6:52

The impressive for others. And

6:55

when we do that, Many.

6:57

Positive things happen to us. So.

7:00

It's like a virtuous cycle. And.

7:03

When we care for others whom are compassionate.

7:05

Our. Physiology works at it's best.

7:08

When. We're selfish when we're self

7:10

focused when we want. When.

7:12

We feel entitled. Often

7:15

times, this doesn't stimulate the

7:17

parasympathetic nervous system where the

7:19

system of generosity and thoughtfulness

7:22

towards others, but actually and

7:24

stimulate the sympathetic nervous system

7:26

where there's a feeling of

7:29

scarcity of want of need.

7:32

And. Of course it has all sorts

7:34

of nice to see a lot of sex. The.

7:36

So I would suggest you that.

7:39

Making. Your intentions may have

7:41

assessed. Is. Not that

7:43

simple and as you want

7:46

to have the opportunity to

7:48

max may manifest you should

7:50

avoid the narrative of I

7:53

Want. Versus what can I

7:55

do for you And that's part of

7:57

the problem. And. In fact the

7:59

first since read the book. Is.

8:01

The universe doesn't give a fuck about it.

8:04

And that means because the universe

8:06

has no fucks to give. It's.

8:09

All a power within yourself

8:11

and so many people. One,

8:13

they look outward for some

8:15

sort of external affirmation. But

8:18

to a they do that

8:20

to give away their self

8:22

agency. You. Fundamentally, er,

8:24

the universe and you have

8:26

so much more control over

8:29

your mind. But

8:31

what you need to understand

8:33

this have you. maximize. That.

8:35

Control. And

8:38

as I pointed out. It's

8:40

where your perception same from one

8:42

of what I want to one

8:44

of how can I be of

8:47

service. And the confusion

8:49

for so many people was that. They

8:52

have been lured into

8:54

a false narrative. Of.

8:56

What defines success by the nature

8:58

of our Western capitalist society? With.

9:02

Says I was a lot of

9:04

money, I was a powerful position.

9:06

I want to be a celebrity

9:09

or an influencer more X, y

9:11

or Z Bleeding that by getting

9:13

that status. All of these people

9:16

are going to tell you how

9:18

great you are and that most

9:20

sill. The. Void that

9:23

all of us humans have.

9:25

And the problem as that's

9:27

why. And only. Be

9:30

filled. By. Connection with the

9:32

others been a service to others. And

9:35

you get all the other so see it is

9:37

benefits. But. If your focus is

9:39

wrong from the start. Was.

9:41

It will impede that progress

9:43

and diminish the likelihood. Of

9:46

you manifesting the things. That.

9:49

You need and you notice I say

9:51

the difference between what you want. And.

9:54

What you need Young people

9:56

Especially what stuff but it's

9:59

from. They barry a say

10:01

a base of lack of knowledge.

10:04

Not that they shouldn't want.

10:06

Thanks for themselves! But. It's

10:09

completely different narrative because most of us

10:11

early on in our lives. Don't

10:14

understand the difference between what we

10:16

want? And. What We did It.

10:18

So powerful and my body even

10:20

I can seal. Just like the

10:22

ease that comes over me as

10:24

you remind all of us. And

10:27

this really beautiful truth. Which is

10:29

that. We. Are. Really?

10:31

Much more inclined to truly crave

10:34

the connects and more than our

10:36

mind thinks it's about piles of

10:38

things. I think maybe.

10:41

For. Anyone who hasn't read your. Into

10:43

the magic shop. It might be helpful.

10:46

And I'm actually curious about you

10:48

sharing because in that book, You.

10:51

Talk about learning. How

10:54

to turn thoughts into things. And

10:57

then you talk about getting all of

10:59

the things on that list. Like.

11:01

Your capacity. To.

11:03

Move Insist A. Coherence that allowed

11:06

you to create from

11:08

thoughts from intention. And.

11:10

Then realizing you will you

11:12

had much. Deeper dreams than

11:15

the things on the less. can you talk

11:17

about that because what you just shared, you've

11:19

lived that experience. He walked that journey

11:21

and that might be. Helpful context sure

11:23

as you know from the first spotted

11:25

him. For those who. Perhaps.

11:27

About Reddit or I grew up in poverty

11:30

is my father was an alcohol with my

11:32

mother have had a stroke when I was

11:34

a child. And. Was partially

11:36

paralyzed, have a seizure disorder,

11:38

became chronically depressed, attempted suicide

11:40

multiple times we were public

11:42

assistance would have been evicted

11:44

from different residences. And of

11:46

course, this is not the

11:48

environment typically associated with success

11:50

of a child for the

11:52

future. And. In fact,

11:54

there's something called adverse childhood experiences.

11:56

We're some of these types of

11:59

the V. If you add

12:01

the mob that number you

12:03

get our decreases the likelihood

12:05

of any type of success

12:07

in life alcoholism or drug

12:09

abuse and mental illness, poverty

12:12

cetera. What happened to me

12:14

that change the trajectory of

12:16

my life which is actually

12:18

something that none of us

12:20

should never forget and that

12:22

is interacting with somebody. Who.

12:25

Cares who? Understands.

12:28

Your. Suffering of the paying your then

12:30

we're into it's that. And

12:33

then takes the time. To.

12:35

Offer to help and what happened

12:38

to me was when a vince

12:40

would occur at my house that

12:42

were encounter bullfighting, my father come

12:44

in and trump etc. I

12:47

would frequently get on my bicycle and Ryan

12:49

as far as fast as I turned away

12:51

from the situation. And.

12:54

On one of those two, nice, I rode

12:56

my bike by a strip mall in which

12:58

there was a magic shop and I'd have

13:00

an interest in match it. So

13:02

I went into the shop and there

13:04

was a woman there and I'm sure

13:06

you've met people like this. They have

13:08

a radiant presence about them. They have

13:10

this may smile and you immediately feel

13:13

comfortable. And the recent as

13:15

as because eight or nine church metal

13:17

there except to you. They're

13:19

not looking at you in the

13:21

context of who are you were.

13:23

how important you are are simply

13:25

connectedness. You. As a cell achievement

13:28

been and that's what this woman whose name

13:30

was first it. And it

13:32

turned out she was the owners mother.

13:34

She knew nothing about magic. About

13:37

when it does It Gave him a conversation

13:39

for about twenty minutes and after that she

13:41

said something like she's You know I really

13:43

liked you. I'm here for know the six

13:45

weeks if you shot everyday. I think that

13:47

to teach you something that really helps. And

13:51

that began a journey.

13:54

The. Which to change the trajectory of

13:56

my life? but. It

13:58

also made me really. realized that

14:00

at that young age, probably

14:03

I didn't have the self-awareness

14:05

or insight to really

14:07

fully understand the messages she

14:10

gave me. Now certainly, one

14:12

of the things she taught me was

14:14

some aspects of mindfulness, which is a

14:16

body relaxation technique, as

14:19

well as the ability to focus,

14:21

in this case using a candle,

14:24

which allows you to be present and

14:26

also to not respond to the negative

14:28

dialogue that goes on in so many

14:30

of our heads. And

14:32

that combination of events created a

14:35

calmness and a stability

14:37

and the ability to be present,

14:41

which changed everything. But

14:44

the most important aspect of that was

14:46

the last part, which

14:48

was a manifestation technique. And

14:51

as a child of 12 at the time, and

14:54

of course growing up in poverty or

14:56

feeling deprived, I wanted

14:59

what I thought translated

15:01

into the opposite. And

15:04

so, I wanted a million dollars, I wanted to

15:07

live in a mansion, I wanted

15:09

a Porsche, I wanted a Rolex watch.

15:12

And I did get every one of those things. But

15:16

the point I missed was exactly what

15:18

I was talking about earlier. It was

15:20

I want. I didn't understand

15:22

what I needed or what

15:25

would fill the emptiness

15:27

that so many of us have in

15:30

our lives. As

15:32

an example, if you speak to a lot

15:34

of young people, you say, what do you want

15:36

to be when you grow up? It's

15:38

often not I want to be

15:41

a doctor and help people, it's I

15:43

want to be a celebrity, I want to

15:45

be wealthy, I want to be an

15:47

influencer with a

15:50

naive belief that

15:54

by doing so, you get external

15:56

affirmation that's going to make you

15:58

feel okay. and

16:00

make you feel whole. And

16:02

unfortunately, this is a sad

16:04

narrative that has been promulgated

16:06

by modern Western society that

16:09

success translates into those things,

16:11

power, position, money, and

16:13

once you achieve those, you will be happy. And

16:16

having achieved great

16:18

success by those definitions, I

16:21

was never more unhappy than any

16:23

time in my life. And it

16:25

was only after I went

16:28

through the dot-com crisis where

16:30

I lost about $78 million in six weeks and

16:33

had to go through a period of reflection.

16:37

And it was during that period of reflection

16:39

that I sort of understood what I had

16:41

missed. And even though I had become

16:43

a doctor and I helped people, my

16:46

focus, though, still was trying

16:49

to overcome the insecurities and

16:52

the shame which was

16:54

a result of the baggage that I

16:56

had carried through my childhood. And

16:58

it was only after I went

17:01

through that experience and reflected, and

17:03

also it was interesting because after

17:05

losing all that money, I borrowed

17:07

$15 million to buy a penthouse

17:09

and a villa and Florence and

17:11

sports cars. You know, when

17:13

you owe somebody $15 million, they

17:16

get very interested in you. How

17:19

are you going to pay that back? So, my

17:22

best friends became my banker and my lawyer.

17:25

And the interesting thing in regard to

17:27

the lawyer situation was that I had

17:29

made some commitments to charity and I

17:31

had no funds to live

17:33

up to those commitments. And it turned out that

17:36

I had filled out a bunch of paperwork related

17:38

to stock that I had in a company

17:40

that hadn't gone public. And I was

17:42

going to give that away. And

17:44

the lawyer informed me that they had actually never filed

17:47

the paperwork and I didn't have to give any of

17:49

that stock away. But after

17:51

this period of reflection and realizing

17:54

it wasn't about me, that

17:56

that had not made me happy, it

17:59

was when I made a commitment. decision to

18:01

go ahead and surrender.

18:04

And what I mean by that

18:06

is not be attached to

18:08

that money, orienting my life

18:11

towards being of service and

18:13

caring for others. And

18:16

that's when everything changed. Now, you can imagine

18:18

though, when I made that decision, I

18:20

was $3 million negative. And

18:23

it turned out that that gift I just

18:25

gave ended up being worth $30 million. But

18:29

the key about that is though,

18:31

imagine what it

18:33

felt like though, to send up

18:35

health clinics all over the world

18:38

and blood banks to sort of

18:40

programs for children affected by AIDS,

18:42

HIV or programs for the disabled.

18:45

And I had the opportunity also to give

18:47

back in the context of the

18:49

medical school that accepted me where

18:51

I endowed the dean's chair following

18:54

Hurricane Katrina. And this was at Too Late

18:56

in New Orleans, which was devastated. And I

18:59

rebuilt the library. And

19:01

I tell people I went from

19:03

rags to literal riches, then I

19:05

went to rags. But

19:09

I ended up getting incredible

19:11

riches in a different way. As

19:14

an example, I just mentioned some of them to

19:17

you. But I also

19:19

founded a center that studies

19:21

the neuroscience of compassion, empathy

19:23

and altruism that has

19:25

had literally an impact on hundreds of thousands,

19:27

if not millions of people in the world.

19:30

The Dalai Lama is the founding

19:32

benefactor. He became my friend. And

19:35

I became chairman of the Dalai Lama Foundation.

19:38

Through that connection, I have

19:40

met many, if not

19:42

most of the living spiritual and

19:44

religious leaders in the world, including

19:47

Pope Francis, Desmond Tutu,

19:50

Thich Nhat Hanh, Sol Golrympeche,

19:53

Amal the Hugging Saint, Sri

19:56

Sri Ravi Shankar, Saad Guru,

19:58

Bekar Thole, Byron Katie,

20:01

Warner Earhart, and I

20:03

don't say that to brag, I simply say that.

20:06

Imagine what an amazing extraordinary

20:09

gift it is to

20:12

be friends with, a confidant

20:14

of, an advisor of some of the

20:16

greatest living spiritual

20:18

leaders in the world and how

20:21

much being in their presence gives

20:23

you this incredible gift of

20:26

insight into what does matter.

20:29

If you look at every one of these

20:31

individuals, it's not

20:33

the text that's most important to them.

20:36

It is what the fundamental message is,

20:39

which is that what

20:41

defines our humanity is

20:44

compassion, caring for others, alleviating

20:47

the suffering of others. And

20:50

when we do that, the void

20:52

which I alluded to is

20:55

no longer a void. It is

20:57

bursting with

20:59

incredible love

21:03

that sets your physiology

21:05

in its best position.

21:08

You thrive, you flourish, you're

21:10

not diminished, you're not weak,

21:12

you're not afraid anymore. It's

21:15

so beautiful. After

21:17

college, I went to Jerusalem and I wound up

21:19

staying there for three years and

21:22

I met this very holy rabbi who lives with his

21:24

wife and their many children in the old city and

21:26

I said to him after being there for a few

21:28

weeks, I said, what's the most spiritual

21:30

experience I can have while I'm here?

21:32

And he said, okay, you ready? So

21:36

I went to go down the street, you make a

21:38

left, there's a blue door and this is the address

21:40

and knock on this door. I'm like, oh, what

21:42

is it going to be in there? Is there

21:44

like a waterfall, a shrine? Like he

21:46

goes, there's a woman there, she's a widow. I want

21:48

you to offer to do her dishes. And

21:51

I just started to cry because

21:53

I got it. He goes, I

21:55

think that's the most spiritual experience you could have today.

21:58

Go do that. That's

22:00

actually a very moving,

22:03

profound story, because that

22:05

is what it's about. We

22:07

get so lost in our ego sometimes

22:09

and have this false narrative

22:12

that we're important, and

22:14

you have to understand everyone's

22:16

important. And

22:19

this is, I think, the highest

22:22

level of spiritual elevation, is you

22:24

see the other as

22:26

yourself. You talk about

22:28

in this book, because this is

22:30

your field, you understand the

22:32

science, the neuroscience, you talk about

22:35

what happens to our brain

22:37

when there's attention, actual

22:40

attention and visualization and meditation and

22:42

compassion and how that changes the

22:44

brain. That's such a giant

22:46

topic, but can you just

22:48

touch on that because it's so

22:51

powerful to understand that it

22:53

literally changes our

22:55

physical brain? No, probably to

22:57

give the best analogy that is easy for

22:59

people to understand is, of course, there

23:02

are parts of the brain that

23:05

are associated with being kind, compassionate,

23:07

empathetic, etc. But to

23:09

have individuals understand an analogy that

23:11

may be more relative is,

23:15

if you are a Bayh and

23:17

Lyn player, which means you

23:19

need to use your hands

23:22

frequently, through practice, repetition, what

23:24

happens is those areas

23:27

of the brain that are associated

23:29

with your hands dramatically

23:31

increase in size. And

23:34

the same is true when you

23:36

do different types of mind training

23:38

or meditative or mindfulness practices. Those

23:41

parts of your brain that

23:44

are associated with caring, concern,

23:46

love are stimulated

23:49

and grow in size. And in some ways,

23:51

it actually, the more you do it, the

23:54

more this strengthens

23:56

the wiring and

23:58

those areas enlarge. and it

24:00

also makes it easier to

24:03

live in that space because

24:05

you become habituated to those

24:07

types of behaviors and

24:10

they make you feel good, they feel

24:12

that emptiness. And in fact,

24:14

Thich Nhat Hanh talks about walking

24:16

meditation. But what it means is

24:19

that you can have this

24:21

attitude in every activity you do in

24:23

life, you don't have to sit on

24:25

a mat to get there,

24:28

you just have to change your

24:31

reference point. And

24:33

there are interestingly these different parts

24:36

of our brains that are associated,

24:38

if you will, with manifesting. One

24:41

is something called the default mode

24:43

network, the other is the salience

24:45

network, the attentional network, and

24:48

the executive control network. And the

24:50

matter in which these collaborate dynamically

24:53

result in us shaping our

24:55

thoughts, our behaviors, our experiences,

24:58

and result actually in

25:00

the greatest likelihood for

25:02

us to manifest our

25:04

intentions. Because I read your

25:06

first book, and because I've been studying this

25:08

for a long time from different angles, I

25:11

get that. I think listeners are still really

25:13

fuzzy about how the heck can you set

25:15

an intention and make it manifest. In

25:18

the book, you have a topic where you talk about

25:20

how to release expectations and open yourself up to

25:22

magic. I think that that

25:24

might be something you could speak to now, which kind of

25:26

helps to close that

25:28

loop. So what does that

25:30

mean, to release expectations and then you open

25:33

yourself up to magic? How is that related?

25:35

Sure. Well, I think part of the

25:37

problem is that people, when

25:40

you get attached to a goal

25:43

or an endpoint, it

25:46

does actually several things. Some of

25:48

them are good. Obviously, having a

25:50

goal that you set for yourself

25:52

is important. That's how we all

25:54

achieve different things in our lives. The

25:56

problem is when that becomes

25:59

so... so dominant in

26:02

your thought processes that

26:04

it, in fact, impedes you. And

26:06

what I mean by that is that,

26:09

first of all, the majority of

26:11

our suffering is caused by

26:14

attachment and creating. And

26:16

whether we like it or not, that is just the

26:18

way it is. And so

26:20

you have to be able

26:22

to let go of that

26:25

absolute focus in the sense

26:27

that, yes, you

26:29

will meet people who say, I

26:31

abandoned everything to achieve the goal,

26:33

but look what they abandoned. I

26:36

abandoned my family. I abandoned relationships.

26:38

I abandoned any type of pleasure.

26:40

I got to my goal. Well,

26:42

okay. And for a subset

26:45

of people, maybe that is the most important

26:47

that you abandoned everything because you have this

26:50

centered purpose that you're living for. Yes,

26:53

but that comes at an incredible,

26:56

incredible cost. And one

26:58

of the costs is that the

27:00

reality is what

27:03

makes a life and

27:05

actually what's associated with

27:07

longevity isn't the goal.

27:10

It's the journey. It's

27:13

the path because

27:16

that is where human connection

27:18

occurs. And if you're so

27:20

focused on one thing and you dismiss all

27:22

of that, you are dismissing

27:24

one of the most powerful things possible,

27:28

not only to increase

27:30

your health, but to increase

27:33

the joy and satisfaction and awe

27:35

of living in this world. And

27:38

so there has to

27:40

be a balance and

27:42

you have to understand what

27:45

fills the void that every

27:47

one of us has. And

27:49

what many people don't appreciate is

27:52

it's not the acquisition of things.

27:55

It's not the acquisition of titles.

27:57

It's not the acquisition of money.

28:00

It's the acquisition

28:03

of human connection and

28:06

it is that which makes our

28:09

physiology its best, it's that which

28:12

makes us feel good and

28:15

all the other stuff, yes, it

28:17

may have some component but

28:20

unless you orient yourself that

28:22

way, you're not going to

28:25

reach the highest level of human

28:27

flourishing and thriving, I don't believe.

28:30

And it's also understanding

28:32

how these brain

28:34

networks process

28:37

this information and what

28:39

I describe in the book which

28:42

is a six-step program, it's

28:45

not to diminish what

28:47

has been learned if you

28:49

will, experientially about manifestation, it's

28:52

to completely change the narrative

28:54

about why you're doing it

28:56

as promulgated by the

28:59

secret but also how do

29:01

you maximize it by utilizing

29:03

the lessons that I taught

29:05

and understanding how to embed

29:08

information into your subconscious

29:11

that maximizes the

29:14

ability to manifest your

29:16

intention. It's

29:18

also exquisite and it's a

29:20

reminder that all the abundance

29:23

is here, it's always here

29:26

and it's always in our connection and

29:29

that connection is always available. You

29:32

talk about in the book how to learn an inner

29:34

language free from negativity and I

29:37

feel like so much of

29:39

this is the racket, you know, the racket

29:41

in the mind, all those thoughts, like a

29:43

blizzard of lies

29:47

and even if we hear a conversation like

29:49

this and we don't just hear it, we

29:51

feel it, which this is impossible not to

29:53

feel the words that

29:55

you speak because they're so loving and

29:57

they're so embodied because those thoughts As

30:00

you know, you know, they're just

30:02

so automatic. It's so important

30:04

that you mention this in the book. How

30:07

do we learn an inner

30:09

language that's free of that negative loop? Well,

30:12

I first want to

30:14

say that the reason we

30:17

have these negative thoughts

30:20

is sort of a mess up

30:22

in our threat system where we

30:24

translate things that may not actually

30:26

represent threat, but we translate them

30:29

to that. And then,

30:31

as you know, our sympathetic nervous

30:33

system as well as our parasympathetic

30:35

nervous system have evolved over millennia,

30:38

if not millions of years, and you

30:41

don't change it, you know, in 100 years or

30:43

1,000 years or 5,000 years. It's

30:45

very slow. So modern

30:48

society or society itself

30:50

evolves rapidly, but our

30:53

genetics do not. So

30:56

it's understandable why it

30:59

is essentially impossible to get rid

31:01

of every negative comment that

31:04

you have about yourself, although

31:06

I'm sure there are probably

31:08

Tibetan Buddhist monks who've spent many years

31:10

in a cave who perhaps have been able

31:12

to do that. But for the

31:14

average person, generally, that's not possible. So what we

31:16

try to do is to turn the

31:19

volume of that negativity down

31:22

so low that it's simply

31:24

a background static and

31:27

we embody then the positive

31:29

narrative, which is I am

31:31

worthy, I deserve love. It

31:33

is possible because the

31:35

brain doesn't have the ability to

31:38

distinguish between what is and

31:41

what is a possibility. So

31:44

if you tell yourself I am not worthy,

31:46

it is not possible, by

31:48

definition, that becomes your reality.

31:51

So you have to repeatedly

31:54

and what I try to do,

31:56

and again, it's not 100%, but what I try

31:59

to do is when I have negative thought, I

32:01

immediately replace it. I don't even let the

32:04

thought continue on, I

32:06

say something positive. Sadly, so many

32:08

people are more hypercritical of themselves

32:10

than anyone else in their lives

32:13

and that is what limits

32:15

so many people and

32:18

what they don't appreciate is so

32:21

many people give

32:23

their agency away because

32:25

they're so desirous, positive

32:29

affirmation, its external

32:31

affirmation does not ever

32:33

deal with that emptiness. The

32:36

only way you can deal with it is one,

32:39

to understand that you are worthy, that

32:42

it is possible and that

32:44

actually brings the power back to you.

32:46

As an example through this new book,

32:49

you go through these six steps and

32:52

you are returning the power to

32:54

yourself, you are

32:57

controlling your agency.

33:00

You know what's so sad is somebody will say, you

33:02

know, I'm so excited because I am going

33:04

to become a doctor or I'm so excited

33:07

because I'm going to get this new job

33:10

and then even their relatives or best friends will go, no,

33:12

that's not possible, you're not going to be able to do

33:14

that and everyone has

33:16

experienced this and it's so sad

33:19

because what you should be saying

33:21

is, yes, of course

33:23

you are because you're great and

33:26

you're fantastic but the

33:28

other side of that is you actually

33:30

have to firmly believe that because

33:33

so many of us don't appreciate

33:36

the power that we have within

33:38

ourselves to change our

33:40

story. It's all just so beautiful.

33:43

When people read this book, if

33:46

there's something that they take away

33:48

and you had to kind of free associate

33:50

and boil it down to like, what do you

33:52

want to be lasting? What do you

33:55

want the imprint to be once they read

33:57

this book? What comes up? Well, I think

33:59

there are things, one I

34:01

was just mentioning, you have

34:03

more power than you can

34:05

possibly imagine within

34:07

yourself. Two, that

34:10

the greatest gift you

34:12

can give yourself is

34:16

actually being of

34:18

service to others. And

34:20

several studies have demonstrated this

34:23

reality over and over, whether

34:25

it's mental health, whether it's

34:28

physical health, caring

34:30

for others is

34:32

the absolute most powerful action we

34:34

can do in our lives. And

34:36

that will give us true

34:39

meaning, which is not the transitory

34:42

happiness of something,

34:44

getting something or achieving this

34:46

goal that you're actually focused

34:48

on. But you

34:51

will get long lasting happiness,

34:53

deep happiness, profound happiness,

34:56

and that's associated with

34:58

being of service and caring for others

35:00

and giving love

35:02

unconditionally, accepting

35:05

everyone, understanding that

35:07

even though someone has made a

35:09

mistake, that doesn't make

35:12

somebody bad, all of us have

35:14

made mistakes. We just have

35:16

to sit there and be a vessel

35:18

of luck to them. And my last question, this

35:20

is what's coming up just because most

35:23

of my audience are women who

35:25

are really kind and compassionate and

35:28

where they struggle is they

35:30

feel depleted because there's

35:33

this people pleasing over

35:35

functioning codependent heart and

35:38

it starts to not feel

35:40

great. And the

35:42

balance is everything you just

35:44

said is the truth

35:46

that that's what's in The Wizard of Oz,

35:49

if he has anything to offer it, that's it

35:51

what you just said. And yet, if you're

35:54

out of alignment and you're

35:56

codependent and you don't fill your cup

35:58

and you don't have have authentic

36:01

coherent energy, it's something's

36:04

just wrong with how that starts

36:06

to feel. And so if

36:09

somebody is compassionate and

36:11

they want to be truly

36:14

happy, which means to have a meaningful life,

36:16

but they're wrestling with

36:18

this pattern of just

36:20

not having a self and being totally

36:23

depleted, how do

36:26

you reconcile how to go back

36:28

to being in service and

36:30

then knowing that you can do this from a

36:32

place where it's clean, it's

36:34

not coming from a self that

36:37

is just constantly over functioning. I

36:40

mean, that is not actually healthy,

36:43

right? And it's not what I perceive

36:45

the journey of Thich Nhat Hanh or the Dalai

36:48

Lama to be about. I feel like there's like

36:50

a real authentic

36:53

state of being and even in

36:55

yourself. So how can

36:58

we make meaning of those two things?

37:02

Well, that's a great question. And

37:04

it's one that challenges so, so

37:06

many people. In some ways, it's

37:08

analogous to why a lot of people become

37:10

doctors. You know, they're so giving, they want

37:13

to help everybody. But the

37:15

reality is, one, you

37:18

have to be self aware. And what I

37:20

mean by that is all

37:23

of us have had baggage that we

37:25

carry with us. Now,

37:27

for many people, it's extraordinarily

37:30

positive. But a subset of

37:32

people that baggage has created a

37:34

narrative that you're

37:36

not worthy and

37:38

that the only way you are worthy

37:41

is that you sacrifice yourself for

37:44

other people. That is

37:46

not the same as being

37:48

of service because when

37:51

you sacrifice yourself, you're not being

37:53

of service. One, you're

37:56

punishing yourself because you have

37:58

a narrative that says, well, maybe you're not. they'll

38:00

like me if I just do

38:02

this, if I sacrifice everything for

38:04

them and of course,

38:06

that does not work. And

38:09

we see unfortunately so many

38:11

people who don't have the

38:13

self-awareness that the drivers of

38:15

codependent behavior, the

38:17

drivers of sacrificing yourself

38:21

have nothing to do with the present

38:23

moment. It's the suffering that

38:25

you're carrying, the baggage that you're

38:27

carrying that dictates your relationships,

38:29

it dictates the job you

38:32

pick, it dictates the daily

38:34

interactions and it's

38:36

not about that moment. So one

38:38

of the keys is having the self-awareness and

38:41

to gain insight into what

38:43

are the drivers of your

38:45

behavior. And you know, again,

38:48

as I was telling you, I have

38:50

spent a lot of time examining my

38:53

own drivers and realized how they

38:55

were actually an impediment or negative

38:57

to me. I think the

39:00

other thing is you have to

39:02

actually focus on self-care.

39:05

Being of service doesn't mean

39:07

you sacrifice yourself. The

39:09

way to be best in terms of being

39:11

of service is to take care

39:13

of yourself and part

39:15

of that is being

39:18

self-compassionate. Part

39:20

of it is taking the time for

39:22

yourself to recharge your

39:24

batteries, to be

39:27

with people who give you

39:29

positive affirmation and support,

39:32

who you can sit there and go to and say,

39:35

you know, I have so much

39:37

stuff going on, I'm exhausted, I really need a

39:40

break, can you help me? Versus,

39:42

you know, as an example of the

39:44

medical profession, doctors are terrified to say,

39:46

I can't do something or I'm tired

39:49

because they feel they're going to be judged and

39:52

a lot of people feel that if they

39:54

show what they perceive as weakness, that

39:56

that's negative and they're going to be rejected.

40:00

it's just not true. In

40:02

almost every situation, I won't say 100%, if

40:06

you authentically express your needs,

40:08

actually, there are people who will step forward

40:11

and help you. And if

40:13

they don't, then that's also a sign that

40:15

perhaps you need to reassess who your friends

40:17

are or who your partner is. All

40:20

of us are frail, fragile human

40:22

beings, most of who are

40:24

trying to do the best they can. And

40:27

this isn't a contest to see

40:29

how much you can beat yourself

40:31

up. Frankly, it's a

40:33

contest to see how much you

40:35

can love yourself, which

40:38

allows then for you to be

40:40

your best self. And I think

40:42

that's really the key point. So you should

40:44

not be afraid to say you're

40:46

tired, you should not be afraid to say,

40:48

I need time for myself,

40:50

you should not be afraid to say, I've

40:53

been in this relationship, I've given so much,

40:57

and I am not

41:00

feeling as if I am getting

41:02

what I need, and not

41:04

be afraid to lead that relationship. Now,

41:06

I'm not trying to make things super

41:08

simple, because there are all

41:10

sorts of issues that make some of

41:12

these statements not possible to achieve at

41:15

that moment, whether there's children

41:17

involved, money issues, etc,

41:19

etc. But I

41:21

do believe that you

41:23

can within yourself manifest a

41:27

set of circumstances which

41:29

will allow you to be

41:32

able to deal with many

41:34

of these issues so that you can care

41:36

for yourself, but you can also

41:38

be of service to others. I

41:40

lied, I have one more question.

41:43

My last question is, there

41:45

is clearly all

41:47

of the essence of what

41:50

we want to actually have

41:52

in this world is like everything you said

41:55

and people in the blue zones have this,

41:57

right? They're so abundant with connection, that's why

41:59

they're having such longevity, like they have

42:01

all the real stuff. And also, do

42:04

you see there's some

42:06

blessing or benefit to

42:08

manifesting and stewarding wealth?

42:11

The women who come to me are, let's say

42:13

they've been scraping by making $65,000 while

42:17

paying for their kids college and they're

42:19

exhausted and they feel guilty about wanting

42:21

to make $150,000 or whatever it is and I say to them, they're

42:27

not hurting someone else if

42:30

you're thriving and able to

42:32

really just live normally. And there's

42:34

a real shame in, well, I mean,

42:36

why shouldn't I just be happy with

42:38

being a nurse and making nothing and

42:41

then after I pay for everything that

42:43

I need? It's like, you don't

42:45

have to do that because if you're already serving,

42:48

you're teaching, you're working in your church,

42:51

whatever it is and then you feel guilty like,

42:53

I guess this is just it and

42:55

then I'm hearing I should just do more service,

42:57

it makes you feel like why should I manifest?

42:59

Why should I use the magic to manifest more

43:02

wealth? And their wealth would be being

43:04

able to live a little bit nicer so

43:06

that they can eat better or take

43:08

better care of their family. Well, so

43:11

wanting to be in a stable situation,

43:13

there's absolutely nothing wrong with that and

43:15

there should be no guilt with wanting

43:17

to live a

43:19

more prosperous life. And

43:22

yes, in that sense of, well, I have to

43:24

give everything where I have to be of service,

43:26

I'm not really saying that

43:28

at all. What I'm saying though is

43:30

that you also can't think, oh, okay,

43:32

well, I'm going to create a narrative

43:35

where I take this and

43:37

I take that and then I do this

43:39

and I make more money and I, you

43:41

know, and you're screwing somebody else to

43:44

do X, Y or Z and that's not going

43:46

to be helpful or productive for you in terms

43:48

of your psyche or your future or

43:50

the sustainability of it. But

43:52

that being said, if you are

43:55

doing things, and I won't say selfishly

43:57

because it's not selfish, you

43:59

know, it's like The up here. If. You're

44:01

doing things that allow you

44:03

to mentally be tell tier.

44:06

Feel. Better about yourself and

44:08

also for sell the goals

44:10

of caring for your family

44:13

and children or just herself.

44:16

Then that's extraordinarily Kim, because not

44:18

doing that, you're not creating the

44:20

environment to thrive. So.

44:22

It's not as if I'm telling anyone

44:25

and I don't want anybody misinterpret that

44:27

some house you take everything you have

44:29

and just throw it out there and

44:31

say here it is world take This

44:33

takes his take everything from it's I'm

44:36

lying her naked, hungry and starvation and

44:38

exposed to these elements and but a

44:40

tease I sure feel better but it's

44:42

up it's I mean there may be

44:44

some people who do that and that's

44:47

true but I see your the most

44:49

important as South Tyrol. otherwise you checked

44:51

your for other. People Yeah it's beautiful

44:53

and it's such an important conversation and

44:55

and I think the most important thing

44:58

now is leading come to the world

45:00

for a pile of stuff in only

45:02

came for much bigger dreams and this

45:04

book is so beautiful and it it

45:06

makes you feel abundant immediately as it

45:09

requires you to see what's already, hear

45:11

what he eats and. Toss

45:13

on and states which is. Generosity

45:15

of hard and snacks and and

45:18

it's gorgeous And I'm so glad

45:20

he wrote it. Will. Thank

45:22

you so much Sam Again know

45:24

that I hope what's really interpreted

45:26

by the sports is that you

45:28

do have the power. To.

45:30

Change for circumstance and

45:32

also benefit yourself as well

45:35

as others. And. Also the

45:37

reality that when we talked

45:39

about been of service. It's.

45:42

Not just about. Giving. Stuff

45:44

away or. It's about

45:46

sometimes simply smile minute

45:48

somebody, he sometimes opening

45:51

the door, sometimes. By

45:53

the person a meal. All. Of

45:55

these acts, many of the darkest anything.

45:58

other than just having an

46:00

openness about you. Tell everybody where they

46:02

can... Can they order it now? Yes.

46:06

So, at pretty much any of the

46:08

typical booksellers, I hate to say Amazon

46:10

for all sorts of reasons,

46:12

but yes, it's readily available and I

46:14

hope you enjoy it and I hope

46:16

it's helpful. So thank you

46:19

so much, Kathy. You take care. Bless

46:21

you. You're such a light. Thank you

46:23

so much for being you. I

46:26

love talking with Dr. Dodie again. Here are the

46:28

takeaways. One, the universe has no F's to give.

46:30

It's all a power within yourself. You fundamentally are

46:32

the universe and you have so much more control

46:35

over your mind. Number two, what

46:37

defines our humanity is compassion, caring for others,

46:39

alleviating the suffering of others. It's the absolute

46:41

most powerful action we can do in our

46:43

lives. And when we do that, the void

46:45

is no longer a void. It is bursting with incredible

46:47

love and purpose that allows you to

46:49

thrive and flourish. Number three, the

46:52

highest level of spiritual elevation is you seeing

46:54

the other as yourself. Number four,

46:56

what makes a life and what's associated with longevity

46:58

isn't the goal. It's the journey. It's the path

47:00

because that is where human connection occurs. Number

47:03

five, we have it within ourselves to change our story.

47:06

Number six, being in service doesn't mean you have

47:08

to sacrifice and deplete yourself. The best way

47:10

to be of service is to take care of yourself. All

47:12

right. Well, now I want to shout out some of the students

47:14

from my podcast program. I want to give them a huge round

47:16

of applause. Christine S and her

47:19

podcast Pointed and Polished, Lisa Paluszak and

47:21

her show Healed, Now What? Anna

47:24

and her podcast Connection Project 360

47:26

and Paula Schuster and her podcast

47:28

Scared As F and Doing It

47:30

Anyway, Showing Up Authentically. You

47:33

guys are doing such an incredible job. I am

47:35

so proud of you for raising your hand and

47:37

taking a stance and sharing your voice with

47:39

the world. We're going to have those

47:41

podcasts linked in the show notes so you can go

47:43

ahead and give those a listen. Thank you so much

47:45

for listening to this podcast. There's just so much going

47:47

on in our lives. It means so much that you

47:49

take the time to tune in. We have so many

47:51

great episodes coming up. Make sure that

47:53

you follow along on Apple Podcasts or Spotify wherever

47:56

you're listening. If anything from this podcast resonates with

47:58

you, please let us know. leave us

48:00

a review, and also you can go

48:02

ahead and post about on your Instagram or

48:04

share the link, email someone, text someone. You

48:06

have no idea how conversations like this can

48:09

really help affect change in the world. Finally,

48:11

the doors to the Abundance Method program are open

48:13

until May 16. If you

48:15

want to spend 12 transformational weeks with me

48:17

learning how to become a Master Manifestor, then

48:20

go sign up at kathyhelmer.com/join. I love you

48:22

so much. I'll leave you with a song

48:24

of mine, and I wish you an amazing

48:26

week. I

50:00

love your heart and I love your

50:07

love I

50:16

love your love and I

50:18

love your love I

50:31

love your love