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533 Coaches Roundtable - To Do Lists -  S36 W3

533 Coaches Roundtable - To Do Lists - S36 W3

Released Tuesday, 14th May 2024
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533 Coaches Roundtable - To Do Lists -  S36 W3

533 Coaches Roundtable - To Do Lists - S36 W3

533 Coaches Roundtable - To Do Lists -  S36 W3

533 Coaches Roundtable - To Do Lists - S36 W3

Tuesday, 14th May 2024
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0:00

A D H D Rewired Episode:

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Five Hundred and Thirty Three. Since

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Twenty fourteen, this has been V

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podcast for A D H D

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adults who have a really good

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intentions and is slightly wandering attention.

0:12

I'm Eric Tippers. I'm a licensed

0:14

clinical social worker and an H

0:16

D certify that clinical services provider

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forget it. Subscribe. Or fall under

1:01

podcast app so you never miss

1:03

an episode. we now they're starting

1:05

is the hardest part so let's

1:07

get started. Today. You're

1:09

hearing our third instalment of eighty if

1:11

she rewired coaches around table. These are

1:13

a twenty minute conversations between coaches Brain

1:16

Antler and Kristen Mart's and I to

1:18

provide unique kind of insider look. Argus

1:20

Listen, since this is a pipe gas

1:23

as it we discuss and process content

1:25

and the discussions at better coming up

1:27

each week in our coaching groups. If

1:30

you miss last week's we talked about

1:32

written letters to a D H D

1:34

and I even shared my most recent

1:37

dear he needs to You. Letter were

1:39

for the first time ever Ira the

1:41

big A few to my A D

1:43

H D. You. Can hear that

1:45

on the previous episode episode five at Thirty

1:48

two and there. And don't worry my I'm

1:50

a H D An iron. Good terms again.

1:52

But before we dive into today's conversation where

1:54

we're going to explore the anatomy of a

1:57

to do list, we wanna make sure that

1:59

you know. That our nine hundred

2:01

and ninety nine dollar early bird

2:03

at registration discount his back for

2:06

our summer sessions and registration is

2:08

going on now. I'm

2:10

still not sure what Davis is

2:12

going to get released because I

2:14

as I mentioned last couple weeks

2:16

I'm an editor. Ah but either

2:18

way in case I release this

2:20

before are kick off event that

2:22

is or was on May sixteenth.

2:25

On. At one thirty Pm Pacific

2:27

for Thirty Eastern is the has passed

2:29

the have two more chances than next

2:31

event for the and Thursday May twenty

2:33

third at two Pm Pacific side Eastern

2:35

and your last chance to join us

2:38

for only Nine and New Nine no

2:40

matter what sex in join will be

2:42

on Monday May twenty seventh which is

2:44

a moral day in the Us and

2:46

we're going to do that at one

2:49

Pm Pacific for Eastern I was more

2:51

information about this of the end of

2:53

today's conversation or even go Now. And

2:55

it's a name on interest at

2:57

Coaching rewired.com If you are wanting

2:59

to join us, especially if you

3:02

want to lock in those early

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bird discounts, go into the last

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minute take action because there are

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to take care of first again

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at learn more about it at

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the website. Got a Coaching rewired.com

3:16

again as Coating Rewired dot Com.

3:19

Okay, Let's get into it. Or

3:22

I welcome back to a week

3:25

i think series of at the

3:27

coaches around table or right. So

3:29

last week we talked about. Writing.

3:32

Letters to are idiots see and

3:34

talking about lesser relationship that we

3:36

have a with our A D

3:38

H D N How important it

3:40

is to address some emotional issues

3:42

around. Or. A D C

3:45

in order to reread make sense

3:47

of any of the planning and

3:49

productivity. Type stuff. So.

3:52

This weekend group we're talking about

3:54

to do lists, so how's that?

3:56

been going so far in your

3:58

sections? Christened Brian. I might

4:00

point out. I just

4:02

I put this into context of the structure. A

4:05

group. We do talk a lot about the underlying

4:07

most of his business I experienced because that has

4:09

needs to be addressed. but this is also a

4:11

productivity base course where we have a lot of

4:14

good activity tools. Will we take you know tools

4:16

that were already familiar with things? like to do

4:18

lists and reimagine them and reengineer them to work

4:20

better. For a D H D brains I always

4:23

ask folks at the like stuff. Bomb. I thought

4:25

you guys would ask with the being in possession

4:27

of might. Okay, where did everyone learn how to

4:29

use it to do list? And

4:31

no one ever has an answer to

4:33

that question. The real answer as we

4:35

been mimicking how we see other people

4:37

using them our whole lives. but those

4:39

people are probably know typical. why would

4:41

we expect to have a tool that's

4:43

designed for a nerd Sprinkle the designed

4:45

by and foreigner typical people work the

4:47

same way for us as it does

4:49

on of a for a aid know

4:51

a typical person so that's why we

4:53

start from So then we start picking

4:55

it apart and looking a different way

4:58

to do and for the general structure

5:00

of our course we go through. Them.

5:02

And but we're not just talking about productivity

5:04

tools. Whenever we try to change a habit

5:06

or behavior, something has been reinforced. There's always

5:08

gonna be some kind of pushed back some

5:10

defensiveness where it's happy were attacked, were contradicting

5:13

people's defense mechanisms about this a baby's obscene

5:15

triggers, so other coaching things always come up

5:17

around it so we can do those two

5:19

things at the same time. We coach around

5:22

productivity tools and that, but we also coached

5:24

about what comes up when we talk about

5:26

the productivity tools. But to answer your question,

5:28

it's been going great. We had a really

5:31

great session. Today I really like to do

5:33

to the to do with the because we

5:35

get. This is what the first half of

5:37

the apples we get to bring people's real

5:39

life data into coaching. I've asked people i

5:41

prop them the week before to make if

5:43

you've already using it to do list, bring

5:45

a man with, look at the real examples

5:47

and workshop with them and and we also

5:49

have a future where in our accountability teams

5:51

which we rolled out last week also. ah

5:53

we have people posting a daily top three

5:55

as it exists outside simplified to do with

5:57

and at this provides an opportunity to. The

6:00

structure but. It also gives us an

6:02

opportunity to group workshop how we're using

6:04

that tool, so this actually turns into

6:06

a really lively discussion and as it

6:08

did for me to net for yeah.

6:11

Yeah. This is I told them

6:13

last night this is one of my favorite

6:15

sessions and. And. I I went

6:18

to add t with are a team rollout

6:20

which happened at the beginning of the week.

6:22

We talked a lot about accountability t so

6:24

we kind of guide them with that ramp

6:26

into. Her. We accountable to

6:29

or to their lists and my

6:31

group latched on to the question

6:33

of and maybe I did this

6:35

on purpose and not Sir x

6:37

We asked them how old is

6:39

your oldest. Item.

6:42

And. Ah, Man,

6:44

the vulnerability that came

6:47

out. The. Shares the

6:49

same that sailed the room

6:51

that we into that we

6:53

jokes exploring around. What

6:56

can we do with the same

6:59

And. Why is that

7:01

same there? And you know he does.

7:03

It has to be. Those

7:05

things and how is it help

7:07

you progressed forward some of really

7:09

nice summer no good. fifteen minutes

7:11

or so ago was pretty through

7:13

the last stuff but that's what

7:15

group is all about. It's finding

7:17

out. Where is this group Each

7:20

section. Each. Session

7:22

can feel different. Every.

7:24

Season. And that's.

7:26

What's kind of magical about it on

7:28

it Just so happened there were a

7:30

good handful of people who did sir

7:32

outwardly and I'm sure lost a lot

7:34

of nodding had sued for think in

7:36

of those things that I got of

7:38

got one on seven years old and

7:41

I still have to do it there's

7:43

you know or the outcome is to

7:45

her renders kind of thing. Ah so

7:47

yeah. It was. It

7:49

was nice it was. It was a

7:51

little different for for me my experience

7:53

with to do lists on yeah. And.

7:56

Always if you know every every session I've

7:58

done of the this. The. That's the

8:01

recession. The. Way.

8:04

To resonate in challenges.

8:06

Members. The. The

8:09

range of huge. I like. we

8:11

had a clear someone who is saying that

8:13

on say I. I just don't get the

8:15

feeling of satisfaction when I cross, have enough

8:17

to do less and less. I'm like I

8:19

as a group. how many people fearing that

8:21

as well And there are a number of

8:23

people who like, yeah, it's it's like. A

8:26

has just recently got done and I'm with ya. I.

8:29

Ah at somewhere else who is like a

8:31

A A don't like doing to do it

8:34

say it's I get feels like A since

8:36

it's something that I write down to do

8:38

like I am media read, still resistance towards

8:40

it and it's like. Okay, like.

8:43

These. Are assholes. Experiences.

8:46

That a lot of people have arm and

8:48

we bought our people who have is complex

8:50

systems are working for them in our and

8:52

we always tell people to to wherever you

8:55

are that's a restart. right?

8:57

And I'm one of the tools

8:59

that that I created on is

9:01

this diagnostic assessment of your to

9:03

do it to us and meet

9:06

me. Point of it is to

9:08

be able to identify where are

9:10

those areas of the to do

9:12

list that may benefit from some

9:14

additional focus because everyone's going to

9:16

have some different things on our

9:19

to do list that that challenges

9:21

them. But what I'm are big

9:23

focuses on this exercise is about

9:25

the language that we. Use and

9:27

as good as something it's. It's.

9:30

Sorta like this. them. You're. Borrowing

9:32

from us, some of that though worked

9:34

I used to do in an Autism

9:36

on the around like a hidden curriculum

9:38

for dead. For social stuff I feel

9:40

like this is the say it's like

9:42

to productivity version of that for a

9:44

D H D it's like that. the

9:46

hidden tricky Okay here we took glossy

9:48

like common things we see on and

9:50

eighty two years to do lists. Doctor.

9:55

But. I what the hell is that

9:57

means renewed at a time we wrote down, but

9:59

it's. There are moments for three years, three

10:01

to have no idea where luxury names anymore

10:04

and maybe don't even realize that we don't

10:06

know where actually means anymore. I

10:08

it could be from yesterday he put

10:11

doctor and if you have more than

10:13

one doctor. Tomorrow.

10:15

You might not know what that means. Or

10:18

him guys are you? I like the way

10:20

I different. I start with the a couple

10:22

examples of those a doctor or one word

10:25

things. He bought a brand that I say

10:27

okay what happens when you encounter that? What

10:29

is the what would how would you describe

10:31

the mental process with your counter? That and

10:33

it's like usually people stumble, they get confused

10:35

by the question, but then they realize you

10:37

have to expend mental energy to figure out

10:39

what doctor means. And the more energy you

10:41

have to expand just to get started, the

10:43

less likely you are to activate on it.

10:45

So where does the net? We started a

10:48

tragedy. Spotted we make this easier for us

10:50

to interpret other we instead of the doctors

10:52

cryptic out a week as specificity and context

10:54

is that is what I make. That kind

10:56

of makes it a lot easier for us

10:58

to activate on it. On

11:00

a sunny share with last night around

11:02

Vision burbs again and then we into

11:04

the sec concept yet asked me did

11:06

sir you said Vision Barbs and minutes

11:08

ago yet let me quickly the sign

11:10

that says. He out of

11:13

the people who look at productivity stuff

11:15

they'd asked talk about verb your to

11:17

do list or make them you action

11:20

oriented. The. Problem with that, Humans

11:22

were being. Or. To do this

11:24

and just just have a regular verb. Is.

11:26

Things like looked into his

11:29

kind of herb an hour

11:31

or talk to is a

11:33

verb. But. That doesn't actually tell

11:35

you what needs to happen explicitly And so

11:37

he had this idea of a vision verve.

11:39

So instead of a look up or find

11:41

out which yeah I'm at and year and

11:44

see right now if you'll have to my

11:46

to do was I probably have a look

11:48

into were assigned now amount of us right

11:50

now of. By. Google is

11:52

a better vision burrow because it

11:54

gives you the exact context of

11:56

where you need to be. For.

11:59

The actions of. Place right? Incidentally,

12:01

talk to it's there.

12:04

Were. No call, text email like

12:06

how is that? Disgusting.

12:08

As a place or it.is a

12:10

beautiful lead in I asked somebody

12:13

to the if they had doctor.

12:15

What? We? What could you say different way

12:17

you know if he and one of my

12:19

member says contact the doctor and I went.

12:22

Home. For

12:25

yeah, I get a wrestler, get a ruckus. Are

12:27

you planning to write him a letter? Or rather,

12:29

I don't. Really, I. Just yelled out ago I

12:31

tried to contact Dr. Harrison. They were at

12:33

first as a semi beloved right away. Some

12:35

people with it. it's just like. It. With

12:37

my H D impulse. Funny bone was

12:40

on it and a with it. So

12:45

I was like see that example he

12:47

contacted also be. I touch

12:49

them. You can continue to vision

12:51

it even more. Ever time

12:54

for an how many people to be

12:56

to be experience where their be by

12:58

have call him call make an appointment

13:00

to get it for a dental cleaning

13:02

My great. And they'll find out

13:04

that with a really me to do. Is.

13:07

Vignettes on a dentist We have a

13:09

dentist like that is a completely different

13:11

tasks the scheduling an appointment or and

13:13

so will the is this idea of

13:16

he married me up to do with

13:18

looks of things like that so be

13:20

of these bees vision verbs revealing what

13:22

is that First acts step was it

13:24

really? Then we have some of that

13:26

the to had conceptual art pieces like

13:28

what's what actually need to take place.

13:31

We talked a lot about the the

13:33

that is this than that. Eyes.

13:35

Are framework with in a to the

13:37

less you know it's funny because of

13:39

how frustrating is it When we have

13:41

a tasks to do and then we

13:43

do, the task analysis generates another task.

13:45

Anything to normalize that experience I'd say

13:47

bases covered melting tasks off the great

13:49

tasks Redeployed House you know you have

13:51

another task and so even as simple

13:53

as like. The. Whatever that the

13:55

task is. In part of what

13:58

you write on a task is. The

14:00

once it that domestic then identify

14:02

the next task so you've already

14:04

sort of scaffolding that next step

14:06

for yourself. The one of my

14:08

great example that I just stuck

14:10

with every time. Is and we talked about

14:12

the same that with coming up for people and sometimes just

14:15

the dread of doing things like we don't let it make

14:17

a phone call the and put on hold while that and.

14:20

Made. We don't like going to the death.

14:22

We finally got the courage and we found

14:24

a little pocket a time and I'm going

14:26

to call make an appointment for then and

14:28

even if it's a month away sometimes dentist

14:30

or schedule and out too much and you

14:32

can't go. Okay I'm excited. Want to make

14:34

an appointment an arm when a look at

14:36

this day and this afternoon and the next

14:38

thing you hear is i'm sorry Doctor Harris

14:40

doesn't see patients on Thursday afternoon. And

14:43

you have nothing ready for the is this.

14:45

Is Right series. Of

14:48

and Eleven. Call you back in July. But yeah,

14:50

that's a bigger tasks and go. And okay, let

14:52

me shift. I've got some other options here. What?

14:54

What else can offer us for you

14:57

to view on us we'll have their

14:59

the wide difference of including the why?

15:01

Oh yeah I love a good why

15:03

stay man. I bought by statements I

15:05

don't contain. It's a week three I

15:07

find buys epitomised able to their almost

15:09

very many different conversations or why statement

15:12

is something that gets us in touch

15:14

with why it's important to us which

15:16

could prompt a and emotional reaction prompt

15:18

emotional investment with a baby. That connection

15:20

is a clear A D H D

15:22

Folks we often habits have difficult time

15:25

activating. On Tacit Six much more energy

15:27

bras to do that either a typical

15:29

person the one where we didn't make

15:31

it easier is to reduce executive function

15:34

needed or but also to boost the

15:36

emotional investment by reminding ourselves why it's

15:38

important or and that can get us

15:41

back in there. I had i'm a

15:43

coaching fired who had been struggling to

15:45

that or whatever repeating to do items

15:48

on her west was I get a

15:50

schedule a veterinary appointment for her cats

15:52

and she just female be forgetting. About

15:55

it over and over she had a same as

15:57

you about it, felt terrible about it and and

15:59

so we broke. The down the to jews had

16:01

a schedule that but I said why is this

16:03

important to you and she's as well. As.

16:06

She just does. I could never even contemplated

16:08

why it's important. It's obvious, but it's obvious,

16:11

but it's in the background. Spare what's bring

16:13

it out of the background to be like,

16:15

what? Obvious. Because I love my cats. And

16:18

you know what? She. Came to the next

16:21

next week at the one thing she tucked

16:23

into said i totally schedule those appointment I

16:25

love that allows that. And you

16:27

have Ah Russell Market talks about the

16:29

different ah yes sir the networks and

16:31

what this does. The identifies what he

16:34

calls the hot network. where does the

16:36

he can next to that emotional part

16:38

of our brain and in er er

16:41

mig a lot of emotional responses to

16:43

prefrontal cortex to it connects the why

16:45

to the what. One. Of its

16:47

challenges with a D H D and

16:49

also one of those, the positive part

16:51

of a D C is when our

16:54

why is super clear. Watch. Out

16:56

collectors it's hard to interfere where we

16:58

have a clear why are we will

17:00

get the thing done. We have passion

17:02

behind what we're doing. What? Happens

17:05

is we put something on to do us. In

17:07

the moment we may be understand why

17:09

this important. And then

17:11

we think we still remember rides and four

17:13

and a week or two later on were

17:16

looking at the task and not realizing we

17:18

as we don't So it's a former scaffolding

17:20

to include the why I'm to Do list.

17:22

And does it take a little bit longer

17:24

to write the stuff out? Yeah. But.

17:26

Think about how long we've sort of

17:29

russell with things that are just pick

17:31

in Iran and or to do list

17:33

or even worse off than a so

17:35

many times are all start working on

17:37

a task that I've already done. Analysts

17:39

are not across that asked them as

17:41

it brings up that metaphor I love

17:43

were a blinking was tell had four

17:45

hours scout shut down the street he

17:48

spent three hours. Sharpening is at. The

17:51

caf smooth and easy. that tree went down. In

17:53

just an hour then that's kind of.

17:55

that, really sits. In with the

17:57

to do list semi activate me.

18:00

I five what I like the whole idea

18:02

of engaging the why we were talking to

18:04

be Adidas as of this recording in the

18:06

previous recording about the importance of addressing are

18:08

underlying emotional needs that instead did the way

18:10

that can obstruct are executive functions Here we

18:12

also addressed the reciprocal a week and half

18:14

or engage with those most supported the give

18:16

us activation energy So there's two sides of

18:18

the of the coin their of the equation

18:21

there's a bush's can stand in our way

18:23

if they are bushel with my baggage to

18:25

send in a way of we're not addressing

18:27

it's but we can also use it as

18:29

leverage it to. Our and man it's. Absolutely

18:32

and as as subsidy and in a

18:34

one of the things I. Tell.

18:36

People in group has no almost every

18:38

season to be like seems like so

18:40

many extra staff to do and that.

18:43

Yeah. And I think about

18:45

what was the trade off. And.

18:48

I'll always increase he was right now. We're him, learn

18:50

or mode. Try. These things

18:52

out experiment with it as healthy

18:54

to light. Once. You

18:56

really get the hang of this. You'll

18:58

figure out what kinds of tasks. Are

19:01

really beneficial to include all this other

19:03

stuff and and what kinds of of

19:06

tests. Can. You break all the ruins but

19:08

are now and down because you know exactly what does he

19:10

need to meet? deal. And. Painless.

19:12

Think about this a different way. He.

19:14

Can spin sign on the front end or

19:16

you can spend time that the emotions get

19:18

more involved on the the other end. You.

19:21

Still going to spend the same. Much time in one

19:23

of them to make still bad. Yeah,

19:25

initially when we do it or not, the. Far.

19:27

End of it. It ends up. Taking. More

19:30

time and more executive function. Which.

19:32

Will lead us to and next week

19:35

for we talk about these are the

19:37

foundation of. D. The weekly planning

19:39

with looking at our routines as

19:41

we know we're gonna do our

19:43

bar stuff in the morning doesn't

19:45

make sense to change this. This

19:47

sequence of what we do have

19:49

we thought about all that transition

19:51

time between task to be actually

19:53

have any idea how long it

19:55

takes us to go from I

19:58

need to leave the house. The

20:00

actually be out of a house. For

20:02

me, it's like seven to thirty minutes.

20:04

I still don't understand why, but I've

20:06

tracked it so I know so we

20:08

will be back next week. Talking about.

20:10

That. First emerged Brian out

20:12

there and everyone out to thank

20:15

you. So

20:17

what's been sticking around and your to

20:20

do list for so long? but you

20:22

don't even know what it means anymore?

20:24

Maybe you had group I'm here to

20:27

view as and didn't remember what immense

20:29

but what it meant was that you

20:31

wanted to go to coaching rewired.com. To.

20:34

Join our summer coaching sessions.

20:36

Or. Maybe you've had joined A

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D C B wires Coaching and accountability groups?

20:41

Honor to do this for a while. But.

20:43

Do you have you are

20:45

compelling. Why included an Asylum?

20:47

What is your wife for

20:49

joining in intensive coaching program

20:51

like ours? What? Is your

20:54

why for waiting? Maybe.

20:56

Even waiting for that perfect

20:58

time. Or. Until he saved

21:00

up or even waiting for an

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early bird special that would allow you

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to sign up for any of

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our sections for only nine hundred Ninety

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nine dollars. And you can do that

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now. But after Memorial Day, I

21:13

may twenty seventh. Are early

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bird special will be over. And

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will be raising our prices any

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might be wondering. By. How

21:22

much? Well, as soon as I

21:25

decided, I'll let you know and

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we do offer a few payment

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options including using Paypal Credit which

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allows qualified applicants in the Us

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to pay over six months at

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zero percent interest, which is a

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great way to invest in yourself

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if you're on a budget. So.

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We're holding three early bird registration

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events are first one is on

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Thursday May sixteenth at one Thirty

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Pm Pacific for Thirty Eastern. Our

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second one is Am Thursday, May

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twenty third at two Pm Pacific,

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Five Pm Eastern And that your

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last chance. Join us at

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this amazing early bird rate of

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only nine. Any nine will be

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a Memorial Day in the Us

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which is Monday, May twenty seventh

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at one Pm Pacific for Eastern.

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To. Don't miss your chance to invest in

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details or other web sites good coaching rewire.com

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and get our and Just list and

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we'll send you all the information that you

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will need to complete your pre registration steps.

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And even if you've been just casually

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interested in joining a groups, I want to

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encourage you to add your name to that

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list as well. We have a bunch

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of really really great emails see that for

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you that are so this a lot

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of great content from a five part email

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series, on time tracking and we have in

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our series all on planning and we

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even have some a downloadable. Pdf for

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you as well. So. Get

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your name on our interests us

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as start receiving those high impact

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emails as well as getting your

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invitation to join us this summer.

23:00

We. Know that many view. I've been feeling

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the pinch of inflation and economy so we

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really do hope that our previously a higher

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prices men are program out of reach for

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you that you will be able to take

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advantage of this early bird discount. Summer.

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Sessions start July eleventh and go

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through September twentieth. Check the website

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days a week. Learn. More

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and see schedule details at Coaching

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if you value this podcast one

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some things your idiocy rewired so I can

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help our podcast sort of

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month and it's free to try for

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the first week and join me for

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my personal favorite and ah sorry whole

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session it's V Palmer. There are dance

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party on Friday and May Twenty fourth

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at a lot. The Am Pacific

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Pm Eastern. We do this

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every fourth of Friday of

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the month and will be

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doing chew fifty minutes focused

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at work blocks and after

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each or block I'm gonna

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be your Dobermans dancing Dj

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as we dance for ten

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minutes. As to the as

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parties to fifty minutes focus

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or sessions on Friday May

26:24

twenty fourth only at Adult

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Study hall.com As Adult Study

26:29

hall.com. Lastly, if you

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recently applied to join our space to

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community right now I don't hundred down

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with the processor application but I do

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hope in due time will be able

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to was applications process to get you

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into a few. Appreciate the patience to

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ten and really just want you all

26:47

to know how much I really do

26:50

genuinely appreciate. You know been hearing from

26:52

some of you and I assume have

26:54

you been reaching out to me over

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email and on social media offering your

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support and encouragement. As he been hearing

27:01

our recent episodes them sharing with all

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of you that would have going through

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ah some hard times over here I

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eighty three wired and just wanted you

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know that it really really does mean

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a lot to me. So thank you

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for listening and Ah for be in

27:17

Just awesome Members of the idiocy committee

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and know for doing your part So

27:22

thank you so much and will be

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back with you hopefully next week.

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