0:00

Welcome to edition 109 109

0:02

of all Kill and I

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Will Fill a podcast with

0:07

me Rachel Fairburn and

0:26

Kiri Pritchard-McLean. Just before we start we'll do

0:28

our usual disclaimer. This isn't here our worship.

0:31

We do this podcast because we

0:33

have a mutual interest in serial killers as long as we

0:35

are doing this podcast it stops us from writing to them

0:37

in prison. 109 sounds

0:39

like a lot of episodes doesn't it? But one of the things

0:41

that we're doing when we're doing our 10th anniversary tour we have

0:43

this intro written and the

0:45

amazing Kyle Smith Bynum was doing the voiceover

0:47

so it's like 10 years

0:50

and then what was it? It was like

0:52

over a hundred episodes and we were like that's

0:54

not shit. That's not your name.

0:56

It's so bad. Also when it did

0:59

say it's all been leading to this

1:01

thought has it? This is what I

1:03

don't think we set out to lead

1:05

to anything to be honest with you

1:08

but it sounds good so keep it

1:10

in. Sounds good. My partner incredibly skillfully

1:12

and about an hour wrote the intro

1:15

music for it. Very good. Nuts. Well

1:17

done. Another thing you can do you're

1:19

not a obnoxious asshole. So you're telling me

1:21

about this one. I'm telling you a story. You're

1:24

telling me a story because sometimes it just cuts

1:26

down on the prep doesn't it? It does. It means we can

1:28

do more episodes. You can do more episodes yeah. And

1:30

let us know actually because we've been filming them. What's

1:34

your vibe on that? What's your vibe? This

1:36

is mainly to the people watching it. You're

1:39

not a fan are you? I just hate this culture

1:42

of... I'll win your brilliant but I hate

1:44

this culture of constantly having

1:46

to be fucking filmed. Every

1:49

turn and juncture.

1:51

I'm so bored

1:54

of it. It doesn't do well for

1:56

my bons anyway. I'm ever

1:58

so brave. It has

2:00

a real bad effect on me, but

2:03

also the other day I did a

2:05

podcast for somebody and I thought... You

2:07

told me this, yeah. So, because I've

2:09

got melasma on

2:12

my forehead. What

2:16

is melasma? It's these skin patches.

2:19

So, it's like you have darker patches

2:21

and I don't like it. So, I wanted

2:24

it gone. So, I had a laser on

2:26

my face of which I have to have

2:28

another appointment. It's done wonders,

2:30

right? Done wonders. Painful. So painful.

2:33

I also had a couple of thread veins removed which

2:36

she did for free and I had thread veins

2:38

on me. I was very conscious of. Oh, I've

2:40

got them. And I thought another thing to try

2:42

and be conscious about. Well, I've always been very

2:44

conscious about them and she just zapped them and

2:46

it did gone. I was like, oh

2:49

man, that's amazing. Anyway, so

2:51

the thing is I wanted this because I didn't like the melasma.

2:54

I had the laser. Also, it's very

2:56

good as well just for general skin health.

2:59

You're not kind of shy. I

3:01

love that kind of shy. Anyway, so

3:03

a couple of days later, your face

3:05

is very, very red afterwards and

3:08

swollen as you would expect.

3:10

Yeah. Painful and

3:13

you look like a big red balloon. So,

3:15

I'd said to somebody that I would do their podcast

3:17

and I asked them not to put a video. So,

3:20

it was recorded on Zoom, so there's no, it

3:22

was recorded in person. Okay. But

3:24

I was constantly, I was like, if

3:26

you're having, can you just mention that I've had a laser

3:29

on my face? Because basically, it looks like you've had a

3:31

bad allergic reaction. That's what it looks like. And

3:34

I get very

3:36

stressed about, because well, basically, I have

3:38

mentioned, because I do have a body dysmorphia, I have a genuine

3:40

diagnosis. And it does stress me

3:42

out. And she put, I was

3:44

like, oh, fucking, that's going to be in here now. And

3:46

I didn't, it's like, well, I'm not going to share it, am I? You

3:49

know what I mean? I just think not everything

3:51

has to be filled. Not that this is fine,

3:53

you know, this is alright. But I don't know

3:55

how many people watch podcasts. I don't watch them.

3:57

That'll be interesting to know, yeah, people are enjoying.

4:00

I think it's good because the

4:02

clips are fun to share. But

4:05

also we do live in different countries and

4:07

it's a big schlep for you. So yeah, let us

4:10

know if you're in, let

4:12

us know if you see the worse in what you're watching

4:14

right now. I'm not averse to it, you see. But

4:16

I think, oh shit, I think it does, you know,

4:20

looks nice. Looks nice. But

4:23

whatever, you know. Just

4:25

putting it out there. So we were

4:27

just talking about how, one

4:29

thing we were talking about is how brilliant Owen is. And

4:32

he did some amazing footage for us on the opening night. I've

4:34

told you probably seen by now some brilliant pop. You wouldn't even

4:36

be in it? It's a

4:38

hilarious cavalcade of absolutely hammered

4:41

Glaswegian women trying

4:43

not to swear and not always succeeding. It's

4:45

great. And there's like an opening thing of

4:47

our set and like us walking on stage,

4:49

a little backstage thing. Really great. And I

4:51

was just saying, I wish he could have

4:53

done that for my opening night, but he

4:55

can't be at that McConneliff Comedy Festival. And

4:57

I said, because he's going to see Bluey. And

5:01

you went, I beg your pardon. Yeah. I

5:05

know what Bluey is, but I also know what Bluey is. I

5:08

also know what Owen's like. So,

5:12

yeah. So, and then

5:14

you've got a real issue with Bluey. I've

5:16

got an issue with Bluey. I just hate

5:18

this thing of like parents

5:22

finding, having to find a

5:25

thing for kids that, but it's

5:27

for me as well. You know

5:30

what I mean? Like, you know, when I was-

5:32

Broken, truly like someone who doesn't have

5:34

to watch loads of fucking shit. Yeah, yeah. I

5:36

was just thinking like, you know, like when

5:38

I was growing up, what, Gilbert's fridge. Who's that for?

5:40

Me as a kid. Just a green

5:42

monster with a fridge. Trapdoor.

5:45

Oh yeah. There's

5:47

nothing, life, you know, Count Duckiller. It's just

5:49

a bit of a romp in it. Nanny's

5:53

gonna walk through another wall and make everyone laugh.

5:55

Love Count Duckiller. I

5:57

just, you know what it is? It's this, oh

5:59

yeah, well Bluey's- really good actually because they do really important

6:01

episodes and it was about, oh my fucking

6:04

god, shut up, shut

6:06

up. Well apparently like Peppa Pig's quite sort

6:09

of, I mean it's 25

6:11

years Peppa Pig's been going and I know

6:13

that because Absolute Climb coming up, they were

6:15

like doing a cinema release of some episodes

6:17

and they wanted to re-record some of the

6:20

voices so yours truly is a voice in

6:22

Peppa Pig. I play

6:24

a fashion loving woman

6:27

who works in a bridal shop who sorts a cow

6:29

out with a wedding dress

6:31

called Miss Leopard and I love

6:33

this because of this. I know a lot

6:35

of cows that have got married. As well

6:37

as cougars who have given them advice on

6:40

what to wear. But Peppa Pig apparently is quite

6:42

sort of like the dad's useless and you know

6:44

it's sort of. Yeah but this is it now,

6:46

it's like why is everyone reading

6:48

so fucking much into everything. Oh you're

6:52

Auntie Peppa Pig now are you?

6:55

Okay, cougar. No I don't think

6:57

they're Auntie Peppa Pig. You're so

6:59

fucking wise. Oh that pig is

7:01

not for me. Oh that

7:03

daddy pig is so feckless. You know what though, some

7:07

dad's are feckless. Some men are

7:09

fucking rubbish. Sorry Owen. You know

7:11

some men are rubbish, some kids

7:13

are annoying. You know Lisa Simpson

7:15

annoys me. She's irritating. She's great.

7:17

She's a fucking asshole. She irritates

7:19

me but you know I'm not like reading

7:22

too much into it. I just think oh

7:24

just shut up all of you. Also cartoon

7:26

voices, I must at least three times a

7:28

month get a

7:31

read through for a sassy parrot. You

7:34

know what I mean or an

7:36

annoying penguin. Did you just

7:39

send off this clip of you ranting about? That's

7:41

what comes through and I'd love to do a

7:44

cat. I've done something I

7:46

might have done. I've

7:49

done a kid's podcast story thing

7:52

but yeah every so every you know I've kind of

7:54

been like oh I'm putting you up for this. It's

7:57

mad penguin or crazy.

8:00

like dinosaurs, that kind of thing. Not

8:03

got one yet, but... Hardline bitch. Hardline

8:05

bastard, yeah. Angry

8:08

dog. Speaking of hardline

8:10

bastard. Ex-elf bullet. What

8:13

do you mean? I've got to wear this muzzle.

8:15

This is you. Excuse me. You

8:17

all right there? Yes, I am. So,

8:21

this episode

8:24

we're gonna be looking

8:26

at Iceland. Apparently

8:30

only serial killer. So,

8:33

his name is Bjorn Peterson, but he was

8:35

known as Oxlar Bjorn because they do that

8:37

thing in Iceland that they're actually doing in

8:39

Wales. So he was from the area

8:41

of Oxlar, so his farm... He's

8:44

sort of named after his farm, which is very common

8:46

around here that you would say sort of like

8:49

Rachel Tynairwale. Yeah, that's the fact

8:51

that way. Rachel's

8:54

condemned building. So,

8:57

the time that all this is happening, he was born in

8:59

1555. It's an

9:01

interesting time in Icelandic history. Oh, wow, is that

9:03

old? Yeah, this is a historical romp, mate. I

9:05

nearly didn't do it. I mean, we did hear

9:07

it before. You were listening to something and Owen

9:09

and I heard Hundron and Quartet and I thought,

9:12

must be an old one. Yeah, even though

9:14

they're very different in Iceland. Well,

9:16

I tell you what, a lot of this

9:18

is... I'm gonna tell you as much as I've found

9:20

because the problem with this is loads of the information

9:23

was recorded two to 300 years

9:25

after it actually happened.

9:29

And also there's a load of kind of folklore

9:31

folded in with it. So

9:33

let me sit back. He was a man. It

9:35

was a farm. The farm still exists. That's as

9:37

much as you've got. Yeah, and these people were

9:39

real and he did murder people, but the... I

9:43

tell you what, you can be on the old bullshit alarm

9:45

for this. Oh, what you think was true and what wasn't.

9:48

So Iceland, this time it

9:50

was basically like

9:52

the Norwegians had kind of settled there and

9:55

the Vikings weren't there anymore. And

9:58

it had moved away from the old North. Norse

10:00

gods to Christianity. So it

10:02

was at a time when the weather

10:04

was particularly cold. It was colder than

10:06

when the Vikings were there. So it

10:08

was just like a very hard time

10:10

to live in quiet. I always

10:12

think, you know, when I see people going,

10:15

of all the places I'll go, I've never

10:17

fanted Iceland. And I honestly, every

10:19

time I see people posting pictures, oh, we're

10:21

in Iceland, I'm like, it looks fucking freezing.

10:23

That looks not for me. It makes me

10:25

feet feel cold. I think it's that

10:27

cold. From when I remember going,

10:29

I don't remember. Do you know what

10:31

it's like? A crap day here. Oh,

10:34

it in that, you know, you know, when it's

10:36

like grey and rubbish and a bit like today,

10:38

really all the time. Yeah, I swear to God,

10:40

this has been the fucking longest winter it really

10:43

has ever known. And I don't want to be

10:45

like an absolute baby. But I messaged my friends

10:47

a couple of weeks ago and I was like,

10:49

I just need four days of sunshine to not

10:51

feel like the world is still on me.

10:54

I need warmth. I can't even go on

10:56

sunbeds anymore because of this melasma. I

10:59

need warmth. Give me something. You can see

11:01

why all those races move out to the

11:03

coast of Spain. Like I can absolutely see

11:06

why you get sick of our seven

11:08

months winters. I just can't, you

11:10

know, I like winter and I

11:13

like autumn, but please God, like

11:15

I think my feet have been cold since

11:17

last October. You know,

11:19

Adam is in Tarot. So he's

11:21

a very brilliant, incredible guy who's

11:24

doing so much at nuts work at the moment.

11:26

He's like writing a Netflix script this week and

11:28

then he's writing Channel four series this and then

11:30

a BBC like he's working at

11:32

such a high level. But he he's

11:35

out every night, either working on

11:37

stuff to like one o'clock in the morning or

11:39

he'll go and see like a play or something

11:41

like that. But what he hasn't got what he's

11:43

wearing for shoes for the whole winter with socks

11:46

with sliders and the sliders that we bought for

11:48

a Tarot show. And we're all like, why are

11:50

you wearing shoes? And he's got this weird thing

11:52

that he's like, I haven't got time. And I'm

11:54

like, we got to see how so bought him

11:56

a pair of shoes then and there. Like what

11:58

size are you? Like New Balance, great.

12:00

I just got some new shoes that were finted. So

12:05

they went to his house and he was like,

12:07

I love these shoes so much, I love them

12:09

so much. And he said, I realize I've been

12:11

absolutely cold. I could never keep warm for the

12:13

whole of winter. And I put the shoes on.

12:15

And now he's warm. And now he's warm. Like,

12:17

yeah, because you've been wearing fucking flip-flops in December.

12:19

You might take Netflix. Adam. Right,

12:23

I'm getting some socks for him as well. There

12:26

is nothing worse than having cold feet. Sometimes your

12:28

feet are so cold that you have

12:30

to have a bath to warm them. And then it

12:32

hurts when you get in the bath. Yeah. I'm sick

12:34

of the gray cold weather. Burn

12:37

her feet. Burn her feet in the bath. Because

12:39

she was hot. Good. Oh,

12:42

scalded herself in the bath. Awful.

12:44

Terrible business. So yeah, during

12:47

this time now, there's a very

12:49

low crime rate. But the crime

12:51

that's around is thievery. High treason.

12:54

No, no. Basically, there's such

12:56

a low population. It's almost like socialism,

12:58

because they're like, listen, there's no point

13:01

murdering anyone, because there's only nine of us on this

13:03

island. So you all need to get on. There's a

13:05

bit of stealing that goes on, because everyone's poor. So

13:07

what they were phasing out is a thing that was

13:10

popular in Viking times, which is

13:12

blood vengeance, which is I eat. Like, you've crossed

13:14

me. You've run me. And now I will have

13:16

blood vengeance. Bring it back. Bring

13:19

it back. Bring it back.

13:21

But it's a bit like, I guess, the modern

13:23

thing would be for us is honor killing, right?

13:25

It's the equivalent. So yeah, blood vengeance was

13:27

being phased out. But as a result, there was

13:30

this weird time where there wasn't, they

13:32

didn't have a police force. And they

13:35

did have a bit of a legal

13:37

system. But it was very weak. And

13:39

basically, it was up to people, landowners,

13:41

kind of rich and land-learners to be fair

13:43

and to kind of bring people to justice. Oh, good

13:45

luck with that. Yeah, exactly. Always, of course, rich landowners

13:47

have been the good guys. So

13:50

you have a couple called Peter and Sigreda.

13:54

And They're farmers. And They have

13:56

three children, the youngest of which

13:58

is Bjorn Peterson, About

14:00

an episode they grow up and

14:02

is really pretty part of Iceland

14:04

on at so that peninsula know.

14:07

When she was sick leader was

14:09

pregnant with Bjorn she says the

14:11

birth was a day the pregnancy

14:13

was different to everything so for

14:15

thought she was I ah got

14:17

my cravings I got my cravings

14:19

for human blood oh my god

14:21

yeah and her have those share

14:23

the or is audible settle on

14:25

got a guy was set as

14:27

soon as stuff sack I say

14:29

I have it's yes she's I'm

14:31

really craving human blood my dunno

14:33

why really stressing out and has

14:35

really love this is like. Fine

14:37

and couple of his toe and she would.

14:40

Have the blog the I know that point of

14:42

think it's true. Because. He not going

14:44

be like about gives fans. So.

14:48

Toes not right? Is it know? I mean how

14:50

would you can account for can tell any like

14:52

week is. Is at the end, isn't it?

14:55

And it's bullshit. Guam. See.

14:57

I caught that was toes you drink the

15:00

blood and and it was so say shit

15:02

her but she said that after she start

15:04

drinking the blood isn't I mean I'll be

15:06

variances does anyone who has had cravings in

15:08

partner had cravings if blood was one of

15:10

the fire in. Yes,

15:13

Will that we go again is and rights.

15:15

I guess the on your eye and evil

15:17

is is into. I mean wouldn't it be

15:19

called on? People claim that price, charcoal and

15:21

Sigma and but sometimes soil people crave and

15:24

my as someone I knew they They said

15:26

that they date so healthily with affairs by

15:28

the everything was organic and all that kind

15:30

of stuff and loads of bags and yet

15:33

with a second get all I want it

15:35

was you know the Victoria Sponge as you

15:37

get from a corner. Felt this in a

15:39

pocket on a four day. Yea Isis would

15:41

like to. Those guys and the some with the

15:44

hopes of bucks the same route as I saw.

15:46

the baby wants to buy the once a cake

15:48

that will never go off really and I love

15:50

that saw deal of a pawnshop caped be i'm

15:52

should be a some broth name may elect them.

15:55

And. Scenery: Six. plus

15:57

proper plus gas doesn't last forever

16:00

from the sea, I was

16:02

fishing it. The coconut and

16:04

jam cakes. And you

16:06

look at the back and it's like,

16:08

he did it. He's like, get that

16:10

in. Yes, please. If

16:13

someone has got the ability to make

16:15

a gift of Rachel, go and get that

16:17

in, I would absolutely love that. Also, because

16:19

I am not drinking again, I crave...

16:25

I don't really like sweets or anything. I've never

16:27

used sweet sweets, historic things. I now crave sweets,

16:31

chocolate, sugary stuff.

16:35

That's what I love. Interesting.

16:38

Very interesting. So

16:42

when she was drinking the blood, just

16:44

to bring us back to it, she would end

16:46

up having incredibly vivid nightmares to the point where

16:48

she had genuine sort of trauma

16:51

from them. And she felt so ashamed of them,

16:53

she didn't really confide in the husband. One

16:55

day, another woman that she worked alongside, she

16:58

was the farmhand on their farm. She

17:00

said, I'm having the most nuts

17:02

dreams. And it's only since I've been pregnant

17:04

and it's making me crave blood. And then

17:07

the woman was like, yeah, well, I've actually

17:09

thought for a while you're carrying a demon.

17:13

So yeah, there's different reports. Some say she says,

17:15

I think this baby is going to be a

17:17

monster, you know, the mum. And

17:20

some of it says that the woman's like, yeah, I

17:22

just got a sense it's a demon. But

17:26

basically that was a kind of worry before

17:28

Bjorn even arrived into the world. So

17:30

he does arrive into the world, as I say, younger.

17:33

He's got one older brother, one older sister. He

17:36

is... He's...

17:39

When they describe him, they're doing that thing where they're

17:42

trying to make them sound like a serial killer. So

17:44

they were like, you know, he was an unruly young

17:46

boy. He had a big temper, he was very strong.

17:48

And like, it just sounds like a lot of boys

17:50

that I know. A lot of people. Yeah, exactly. So

17:52

but apparently the flip side of him being very sort

17:54

of like tempestuous and sort of

17:56

like fighting a lot was it was really

17:58

strong and it was... a really good worker.

18:01

So he was sent away, and this is quite common

18:04

to a rich farmer, to work on

18:06

his land. Now he really impressed this

18:08

rich farmer, whose name is Oma, and

18:10

he was quite fond of him. And Oma's

18:12

son, which is, let me say this

18:14

right, so Oma's son, I

18:17

don't think they're going to write it if you

18:19

get it wrong. But I just don't, well, who

18:21

knows, the mightlandic people might. So yeah,

18:23

he was sent away to live with this

18:25

rich farmer, Oma, and Oma's son was called

18:27

Gomunda, and they became really good friends, Bjorn

18:29

and Gomunda. So he's very good friends with

18:31

a rich farmer's son. So he's

18:33

sort of doing jobs here

18:36

and there, he's always working, he's always

18:38

hustling. Now at this time, it

18:40

was quite important to go to mass, as

18:42

this, you know, Christianity is a big part

18:44

of the culture now. And he's like, nah.

18:46

So there's this story about how he sleeps

18:48

through mass. And while he's sleeping through mass

18:50

and the rest of his family are there,

18:53

he has this very vivid dream in which a

18:55

stranger, a man comes to him, and he's got

18:57

this dish, and on it is

19:00

a chain, and 19, and it's a big

19:02

pile of meat, basically. And he said,

19:04

try the meat. And so he eats it, and he says

19:07

it's the most tender, like beautiful steak he's ever had. It's

19:09

delicious. He just wants to eat more and more and

19:11

more, and he eats 18 pieces of this meat in this dream.

19:14

And on the 19th piece, he goes to eat it,

19:16

and he becomes sick. And then the stranger says, what

19:18

I want you to do now is go to the

19:20

top of the mountain that's near

19:22

you. I can't pronounce any of it. Apologies.

19:25

And at the top of that mountain is

19:27

going to be a really distinct

19:29

pair of rocks, very small one, a very

19:31

big one, shaped like tits, shaped like tits.

19:33

And once more, one, one, big one, we

19:35

all have one, there's no shame. It's, you

19:37

know, it's normal to be about a size

19:40

different. So he says

19:42

go and up there under the rock, you will find

19:44

something that will make you famous and will decide what

19:46

you're going to do for the next few years. So

19:49

it was Simon Cowell. It was Simon

19:51

Cowell's old face was under the small

19:53

rock. So he goes

19:55

up the neck, he wakes up and is really

19:58

excited. So the next day he goes up the

20:00

mountain. It's not like a huge huge but it's kind of

20:02

the kind of thing you can hike up in a few

20:04

hours. So he goes to the top of the mountain. Now

20:06

this is like all you know formerly volcanic

20:08

ash and then at the top is all the like

20:12

lava so it's quite jagged and

20:14

he sees this really distinct small rock and a big

20:16

rock. He lifts up the small rock but under it

20:18

is a Viking axe. Not a

20:21

massive one but just like a handheld one.

20:23

And apparently he forgot the antiques roadshow and

20:25

Fiona Bruce was murdered

20:27

by him. Yeah so

20:29

he finds this axe and he says he

20:32

immediately is like obsessed with it. He's like

20:34

captivated by how like the sun hits it

20:36

and he says he feels like Viking

20:38

ancestors like almost like speaking to him

20:41

through this. Yeah okay all

20:43

right. Do you think that him finding an

20:45

axe is true? Yes

20:47

I think that bit's true. Yeah okay.

20:50

Do you think that a dream told him?

20:54

No. The dream will come back again. Everyone

20:57

mentions the dream. So he... Has

21:00

he ever mentioned the dream? Well

21:04

I think it's sort of like the fact

21:06

that we know about it suggests that he told us

21:08

right but also this is why I think the folklore

21:10

comes in. So he goes back down the mountain. At

21:13

the time he's working with some fishermen so he goes

21:15

down to a fish factory and he's

21:17

like oh I've got to hide this axe because it's

21:19

also like a piece of history at that point. So

21:21

he hides it in the like volcanic fields with all

21:23

these rocks. He hides it under some rocks. Goes on

21:25

this fishing trip and he's like err

21:28

lads have found a Viking axe who wants to

21:30

buy it and they were like no one because you're

21:32

a liar and you're a thief. Like they already didn't

21:34

like him and he was like buy my axe and

21:36

they're like I'm not buying anything of you Bjorn just

21:38

catch some fish. So they get

21:40

back and he comes back

21:42

with the axe. He disappears comes back to the

21:45

axe and was like who's gonna buy it now

21:47

then and they were all like oh no we

21:49

poked the bear in the zoo and that mad

21:51

guy now has an axe and like an old

21:53

fisherman who works down there is like you need

21:55

to get it off him if he has

21:58

an axe bad things will happen. Yeah,

22:00

because he's a lunatic. Because he's a

22:02

lunatic, yes. Very shortly

22:04

afterwards, so he's 15 years old

22:06

at this point. Is that it? Yeah,

22:09

he's only 15 and he's working in a fish factory.

22:11

I like to reset what I'm imagining now. Oh really?

22:14

I'm a older man, yeah. There we go. I mean,

22:16

he doesn't live very long, spoiler alert. So a local

22:18

cow herd just goes missing

22:20

one day. Now it's

22:22

not big population, so people going missing

22:25

is very unusual and they're like, I

22:27

don't know what happened. And he was only a

22:30

young lad himself. Bjorn, that is his

22:32

first murder. He goes up to the

22:35

cow herd and he attacks him with the

22:37

axe. He kind of chops his body up

22:39

into different pieces and then he hides it

22:41

in some manure. And when

22:43

he confesses later on, he goes, there's a

22:45

lovely load of flowers growing there now. And

22:48

it's like, that's not... Did it grow another

22:50

man? So,

22:54

shortly after this time, Omer, the very kind,

22:56

rich guy who's kind of like, I believe

22:58

in this kid. He passes away by axe.

23:01

No, he dies with natural causes because I

23:03

did look into that. So his son, Gudmundur,

23:06

he inherits all the land. Now because he's

23:08

such good friends with Bjorn, he gives him

23:10

a farm and he's like, you know, you

23:12

work really hard for my dad, you're a

23:14

hard worker. So he gives him a farm

23:16

and it's an amazing farm and it's on

23:18

this really beautiful peninsula. He sounds like Donald

23:20

Trump. It's an amazing farm. It's the

23:22

best farm. It's the best farm, you know. But

23:25

this is... I know this because it

23:27

still exists. Oh, okay. It's a

23:29

farm, not the original buildings, but there's still

23:31

a farm in that bit. It's right on

23:33

the coast of Iceland on this peninsula. It's

23:35

stunning. It's very fertile ground as well in

23:37

a time where, because it hadn't

23:39

been farmed, the ground wasn't brilliant. So it was a

23:42

very productive farm he's giving him as well. So

23:46

they moved there and as a result of

23:48

it being such

23:50

a pretty place and

23:52

an easier to farm

23:54

place because the land is already good and

23:56

at good quality, loads of people

23:59

come through it to visit. it to

24:01

rest for a bit and to look for

24:03

work. So there's a really high population of

24:05

people moving in and out of that farm.

24:08

Lots of them visit and then are never seen again.

24:11

So rumours start. Also

24:13

Bjorn is like wearing nuts

24:16

clothes that he couldn't afford. And they're

24:18

like, why is he getting that stuff

24:20

from? Also, why has he

24:23

suddenly got eight horses? So just

24:26

he was suddenly accumulating stuff and he could

24:28

kind of pass off. The farm is doing

24:30

very well because it was, but they were

24:32

like, there's doing well. And then there's you

24:34

and your missus walking around wearing pet perfumes.

24:36

We know you can't afford rain clothes. Listen,

24:39

it's jealousy. That's what I'm saying. What is it?

24:41

The some snakes out there. This maps it said,

24:43

what does it Tori say? The cult? What is

24:45

it? Something of jealousy. The cult of

24:47

jealousy? It's not the cult. It's like the

24:50

culture of jealousy. That's just like, that's

24:52

the problem with poor people. They

24:54

don't work hard enough and they're just jealous and like, yes,

24:56

that's what it is. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that'll be it.

24:59

So there's a clip on something the other day and it

25:01

was basically two blokes chatting about,

25:03

you know, privilege and if

25:06

you're from a family with money, you know,

25:08

this guy, a little

25:10

piggy rich fella, he just went, but

25:12

I don't think it's worked harder and I've

25:15

just never wanted to and I just in my head

25:17

and I just don't know if I can think about

25:19

it. If I saw you and you were bleeding

25:21

to death and I was the

25:24

only person around, I pretend I got there

25:26

too. Got there too late. Yeah. Like you

25:28

horrible. I'll be like, hold onto your blood

25:30

harder. Yeah. You horrible. The trickle down effect

25:32

when we think you're going to survive. You

25:34

horrible cunt. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what?

25:36

Some of it is tied up as well

25:38

as I think that when people are, and

25:40

I say this as a privileged person, is

25:42

that you, you think you've worked hard because

25:45

you don't know how hard things can be

25:47

and you think people are taking something away

25:49

from you by saying you got privilege. Most

25:51

people aren't jobs. Most people don't even

25:54

consider what somebody is rich

25:56

has to a degree. People just want

25:59

a comfortable life. people just want to be all right,

26:01

you know, people don't want to be struggling. That's the thing. It's like, you

26:04

know, you're not jealous because you're not going, I

26:06

want that big house. You're thinking I want just

26:08

to be right here. You know, it's,

26:11

you know, also, I think those people

26:13

that are like, oh, they're jealous. They're

26:16

really good at hiding how fucking easy and

26:18

how much money they have. Cause like, cause

26:21

privilege basically encompasses

26:23

everyone from like, they've

26:26

managed to repackage. So it now encompasses

26:28

everyone from comfortable working class

26:31

up to oligarchs. And so that's all

26:33

one bracket of going, well, you know,

26:35

you're incredibly privileged and people are like,

26:37

oh shit, I am privileged because I'm not using a

26:39

food bank. And then, and they're being lumped

26:41

in with these people who like have nuts

26:44

amounts of money in the bank, you know,

26:46

just like never have to worry about anything.

26:48

Never have to, I mean,

26:51

there's a lot of them where they're offspring

26:53

are doing comedy, but you know, like just

26:55

this unbelievable level of wealth where they

26:57

never have to think about things. And then,

26:59

you know, they're made to feel the same

27:02

as people who have like come from modest

27:04

or very poor beginnings and are comfortable. And

27:06

it's all now the same thing where it's

27:08

like, no, no, you're very different. And you're

27:10

lucky that we just don't know how rich

27:12

you are. You just reminded me of

27:15

the psychic again. The psychic

27:17

from last episode, this is what she said as

27:19

well. She went, why am

27:21

I getting the feeling that your dad is far

27:23

away? Is he in spirit? No,

27:26

he just doesn't speak. He's

27:29

there. He just is not, you know, he's

27:31

on a coach trip. And then, yeah, exactly.

27:34

I feel like there's not

27:36

family money there. Would

27:38

I be right? Yeah, I

27:41

think if you're talking to me, the chances are

27:43

you could ascertain that I'm not. Landed

27:45

gentleman. Yeah,

27:48

well, your dad, he'd like to help. He'd like to buy

27:50

you a house if he could. But

27:52

isn't that every parent? Yeah, yeah. I'd

27:55

like to buy my parents a house if

27:57

I could, which is my thing of like.

28:00

That's how I think, so hard to tell class,

28:02

right? But here's one thing I know that you're

28:04

wealthy, is that when people start to do

28:07

well in comedy, they

28:09

don't talk about helping their parents out. If

28:12

you're sending money to your parents, then

28:15

I think that's quite a working class

28:17

thing. Yes, absolutely, absolutely. The things I've,

28:19

you always think, you're like, oh well,

28:21

if I get that, I can do

28:23

that. And then, I can do,

28:25

and then, you know, sort of like, I can help,

28:27

I can do this, I can sort that out, that

28:29

person could, yeah. You're always thinking, like. I can clear

28:31

someone's mortgage, or I could do this, something like that.

28:33

Yeah, that's what you're always thinking. I was thinking, like,

28:35

if I won the lottery, I'd

28:37

like to win it, because I'd be like, great, I could get

28:39

my mum and dad this, or get my sister that, or my

28:41

niece and everything. That's it, and it's, but

28:43

yeah, there's people in comedy that are like, especially

28:46

comedy. Yeah. Oh well, I

28:48

have three houses, and. Yeah, yeah. That's

28:50

really hard, actually. I have a

28:52

lot of struggles. It's a lot of keys to carry

28:55

around. And there's capital gains, so. It's really difficult. I'm

28:59

really worried about selling because of the stamp duty. Anyway,

29:02

so, he's got this great farm, lots

29:07

of people passing through. He's turning up with

29:09

like, extra horses. He's got, you know, like,

29:11

cool clothes on. Now, at

29:14

the time, these labourers start

29:16

going missing. And locally, it's

29:18

blamed on witches, because.

29:21

Is it women's fault again? Women's fault,

29:23

but like, this is

29:25

a strange time where it's sort of Christianity

29:28

washed in with Nordic stuff. And I mean,

29:30

the Christians, like, although it's

29:32

not witch heavy in the Bible, like, the Christians

29:35

really did lean into persecuting women. Do you know

29:37

it's quite funny? Because I mentioned something on Twitter

29:39

years ago about witches, as to what went.

29:41

Well, actually, you know, some men were, some

29:45

men were executed for witchcraft. It's like, you

29:47

can't even let us have this one. Fuck

29:50

it. We can't even be burned to

29:52

death a century ago, without you wanting

29:54

a piece of the action. Back the

29:57

fuck off. It's

30:00

got very much the same energy that when you

30:02

know when you talk about like the transatlantic slave

30:05

trade and people like actually some white people were

30:07

stolen into You know in

30:09

debt was indentured To

30:11

slavery and you're like this one Please

30:16

so Even

30:18

though he had this farm that was beautiful even

30:20

though he had a wife his wife He met

30:22

was a like a local maze in a bar

30:24

who'd always sort of serve on him coach others.

30:26

I they'd sell that Got married had this, you

30:29

know, he had a wife he had a family

30:31

had this a great best mate who

30:33

really looked after him He lived in a beautiful place

30:36

He was prospering He was incredibly grumpy and

30:38

just like and also like you never knew

30:40

who's gonna kick off for he's very sort

30:42

of disagreeable So everyone kind of kept their

30:45

distance There's this example that's talked about in

30:47

a lot of things where it's like a

30:49

beautiful day And I think some like local

30:51

farmers have sat down kind of enjoying the

30:53

view and he walks up to me went

30:57

Oh, it's dark days devoid of

30:59

sunshine. It's just like, you know those people

31:01

don't you like Your money

31:03

or in business and they come up. Yeah, and immediately

31:05

talk about how shit everything like the guy that I

31:07

used to work with That's

31:09

one went morning. He went is it? So

31:15

All this sort of these rumors is swelling

31:17

around now People kind of know that he

31:19

can't be touched even though they think he's

31:22

they think he's stealing basically But

31:24

because he's good friends with Gomunda and Gomunda

31:28

because of his position as a

31:30

wealthy fair landowner is the

31:32

closest you have to like a sheriff Although

31:34

there are shares but you know, like that's

31:36

who you would go to before you went

31:38

to like the authorities He is the authorities

31:40

Everyone's like there's absolutely no point in saying

31:42

that Bjorn is doing anything because his best

31:44

mate is running the show. So This

31:48

is where things start to fall apart Now

31:51

Gomunda is on his horse Probably

31:54

doing a troll as you know, we're talking about this for

31:57

I'm sure it's at this for Icelandic ponies have

31:59

a fifth gate So a fifth

32:01

walk, trot, cancer, gallop with normal

32:03

horses and with Icelandic ponies it

32:05

goes walk, trot, trot, cancer, gallop. So it's this

32:07

weird sort of like very busy motion that looks

32:09

really, it's fascinating to see because it looks really

32:11

hard to stay on. It's like doing, it's very

32:13

boring horse deep cut here, it's like doing a

32:15

sitting trot on a shell and pony is what

32:17

I think it looks like. So this is a

32:19

weird thing but I think it's to do with

32:21

being able to go over very bumpy

32:24

volcanic ground for very long distances. It's interesting though

32:26

isn't it? I like that. Lovely little slice of

32:28

natural history there. And we're gonna YouTube it

32:30

in a bit. No you're gonna YouTube it.

32:32

So he's on, what I imagine is an

32:35

Icelandic pony and so Gomunda comes to his

32:37

house and he's like oh I'm absolutely like

32:39

parched. So his wife's like oh I'll go

32:41

in and I'll get you some water. So

32:44

he's on his horse and she comes out

32:46

with a jug and Bjorn comes like rushing

32:48

out and as he comes rushing out he

32:50

sees a handle for the axe poking out.

32:52

Oh my god. What's this guy doing? Yeah

32:55

and so he throws the jug because he thinks

32:57

I think there's something in that, I think there's poison

32:59

in it, turns his pony around

33:01

and trawls off. And

33:04

as he's going Bjorn brings out

33:06

the axe and he throws it

33:09

after him and the pony. Now

33:11

it injures the horse very badly but

33:13

Gomunda manages to get away. So

33:16

this is his best mate and he's like what the fuck?

33:18

You're living on a farm that I have given you like

33:20

what the fuck? So he goes back to his house the

33:22

next day Bjorn's wife comes

33:25

around and is like I'm so sorry he

33:27

didn't mean it. Like he didn't mean it.

33:29

So she apologizes and Gomunda's like yeah it's

33:31

fine it's fine and she begs

33:33

for his forgiveness but the relationship

33:35

has absolutely changed at that point. Well

33:37

yeah. Yes that will do it, is

33:39

throwing an axe at someone whilst they're

33:42

on horseback. So this

33:44

is where there's two versions of events

33:47

about how he comes to justice. So

33:49

one is a brother and sister have

33:51

been out sort of like they're looking

33:53

for work, they're soaked through, they stop

33:55

at the farm and him and

33:57

his wife are like yeah don't worry we'll sort you out.

33:59

So that's it. they gave them dry clothes, they go

34:01

to the wash house, the local wash

34:03

house, and while they're in there, there's an old

34:05

woman nursing a child, not nursing a child, but

34:07

rocking a child. And every

34:10

time Bjorn's wife goes out,

34:12

she's like, you shouldn't stay there. And

34:15

then she comes back in again, she's like, you should

34:17

remind me of that Stephen Bay. Don't

34:24

stay there. Don't stay there, babes. Oh

34:27

my God. Christ alive.

34:30

I love Stephen Bayley. So

34:32

great. He's so funny,

34:35

isn't he? He's amazing. He's absolutely

34:37

brilliant live as well. And

34:40

he's an absolute scream in real life. Oh my

34:42

God, so funny. Like he's great, isn't he? He's

34:44

such a good laugh in a green room. So

34:47

there's this woman, Stephen Bayley, not Stephen

34:49

Bayley's woman, every time

34:51

he leaves, he's like, oh, well, don't

34:54

stay there. And basically she sort of

34:56

sings this rhyme, which is along the

34:58

lines of, and apologies for

35:00

the, it's sort of like, no

35:05

one stays with good clothes, otherwise,

35:08

like blood flows. So there's something to

35:10

do with, and obviously it's translated from

35:12

the original anyway, but she's basically like

35:14

going, people keep going missing

35:16

and it's a bloody farm. Just be honest, don't

35:18

put something in a poem. People just want to

35:21

think you're weird. If you warn somebody, warn them,

35:23

don't make it a fucking riddle. Don't

35:26

use it as like a showcase for your spotlight. Yeah,

35:29

exactly. So the kids are like, okay. So

35:31

the brother and sister go back to the

35:33

house where they're saying, have to be warned,

35:35

have to be warned and have to clean

35:37

themselves up and putting on some new

35:40

clothes of who knows who's. Now

35:43

the boy wakes up at night and he hears

35:45

this noise, he gets up and he goes out

35:47

and in the yard, his sister is lying dead

35:50

and Bjorn is standing over her with

35:52

the axe and the brother's like, oh

35:54

shit, runs and Bjorn chases after

35:56

him and he goes and he hides in the

35:58

lava field in like a crevice

36:00

like a ravine a bit a

36:03

divot got you know so he's hiding there

36:05

and then it starts to come light and

36:07

he runs down to the nearest town and

36:09

he speaks to like the next biggest farmer

36:11

and says listen he's just killed

36:14

my sister and you

36:16

know and then they say okay and

36:18

then this farmer goes to Gomunda and says

36:22

we've got a witness to him killing someone there's

36:24

all these rumors about him anyway it's

36:26

kind of time that we did something about Pjorn he's

36:28

like right okay so that's one

36:30

version of what happens the other one is that

36:33

a woman with three kids comes

36:35

to the farm and is looking for us some

36:37

shelter and some work and while

36:41

she's there she sort of goes I think

36:43

again she just she goes away the kids

36:45

she has a noise she goes out and

36:47

Bjorn has killed the three kids and she

36:50

runs and escapes and goes down to the town

36:52

and alerts authorities so we don't know if it

36:54

was a brother and sister we don't know if

36:56

it was a mum and but she was apparently

36:58

incredibly traumatized and the fact that she was so

37:00

upset is the reason they believed her because they

37:02

had they had the authorities knew something was going

37:04

on but they just didn't think but now they

37:06

have this witness and it was like a woman

37:08

who's distraught so they felt right okay this is

37:11

enough of a woman who's reacting in the

37:13

correct way yes of course they think her

37:15

wandering womb is playing up again and

37:18

that is nuts isn't it the wandering womb thing yeah

37:21

and that the only and that

37:24

was what drove women insane

37:27

and the reason why women were so like

37:29

it's because a womb was like wandering around her body

37:31

and the only way to get it to sort of

37:33

stay put and therefore to be sensible was to put

37:36

a baby in it okay

37:39

to put a bit of weight in it yeah so

37:41

to secure it down and yeah

37:43

you can see why some

37:46

people are anti-science can't you because that was

37:48

a scientific view for a while I mean

37:50

in our lifetime we've lost the planet don't

37:52

get me started mad that in

37:55

it I was I still feel a bit jarred when

37:57

I see posters without a little Pluto on it What

38:00

are you gonna do? I thought you'd be more upset about

38:02

this. I don't like space.

38:05

I've said this before. I have no interest in space.

38:07

I don't like sci-fi. I have no interest in space.

38:09

Despite the fucking shelves behind me. Well

38:11

you say you don't like science fiction. I say that but

38:13

Jurassic Park is science fiction. Yeah, that's

38:15

true. And it's a classic. I'm not interested in

38:17

space. I've said this before, I don't think, as

38:20

you know humans we need to know our limits.

38:23

That is of none of our beeswax. I agree.

38:26

Because that's why you get a weird feeling,

38:29

you know when you think about the size of the universe and all

38:31

that kind of stuff. That's why you get, because it's like, I'm

38:33

your business. Can I just

38:35

say, I never get that feeling and I never

38:37

have that thought. My partner is like, oh you

38:39

know when you think about the universe and how

38:42

small you are. And I'm like, no. No, because

38:44

I'm like, I am the universe baby. But I

38:46

never think, oh God with that. I just can't

38:48

get there with it. I can't comprehend that. Don't

38:51

diagnose me with something. I

38:54

have that feeling, very

38:56

young like a, you

38:58

realise you're a person, you're you. And

39:01

then you think about, I live

39:03

here but that's on earth and that's

39:05

in the universe. And you go, do you know

39:07

what I mean Owen? Yeah. Like, and

39:09

you have this thing. And that to me is like,

39:11

that ain't your beeswax. Bottom of the sea, none of

39:14

your business either. Top

39:16

bottom. Stick in the middle. This is

39:18

what, this is where, you know I

39:20

don't actually think we should be flying in planes. That's

39:22

my thing. No, yes. As a

39:24

human, I feel that we've

39:27

interfered with too much and

39:29

we have lost the essence of what

39:31

we are. I think there's a lot

39:34

to be agreed with there. More deep thoughts next

39:37

episode. Yeah, although like I don't know

39:39

how well we're fairing on the

39:41

middle bit. Do you know what I mean? No

39:44

and I know this sounds awful. I mean, do you

39:46

ever Google, I don't enjoy life? No.

39:48

And it's weird because I know. Is it

39:50

auto complete there? It automatically comes up with

39:53

the Samaritan. I

39:55

don't mean this in a like

39:58

morbid way, you know. I

40:00

feel that life should be more

40:02

enjoyable for people. Rachel,

40:07

can I ask you about something that relates to

40:09

this? Yeah. What's your third space?

40:12

Is this about my asshole? I'd

40:16

say that's your first place. No,

40:18

so Maisie Adam was talking about this.

40:20

So it's like a theory, you know

40:22

you have work and you have home

40:24

and then you gotta have a third space.

40:27

Oh, graveyards. We'll

40:29

spend more time in graveyards. I do. But

40:31

you know, so for her she was saying, it's

40:34

my football team. That's my third space. Right, yeah.

40:36

Because it gives you, years ago it would have

40:38

been church, right? And for some people it still

40:40

is. We fuck in emailing. Yeah. And you know,

40:42

it's like a religious, but it's a space where

40:46

you are nourished and supported

40:48

basically and edified. It's anything

40:50

historical. Nature, history,

40:53

old buildings, graveyards. You need to pop in your

40:55

third space, Maisie. That's my third space. That's

40:59

me. I mean my third space is hanging out

41:01

around dead people. But no, that's where I'm very

41:03

happy in places like that. But yeah, what I

41:06

mean is like, I just feel that, you

41:08

know, it's like this

41:11

should be more enjoyable for more people.

41:13

Like we so bogged down and shite

41:16

that we should be like just existing and that

41:18

should be enough, you know. That's

41:20

what I mean. So when you Google, I don't enjoy

41:22

life. It's like, no, I'm not gonna throw myself off

41:25

a bridge. You know, what I

41:27

mean is like, how do we...

41:29

It's not rewarding. It's not like

41:31

nourishing or edifying. No, like I

41:33

am happy, but I just think

41:35

there's more that I should be

41:37

enjoying more, you know, maybe it's not having the time,

41:40

but I don't know, I just think. Yeah,

41:42

it does sound like a work-life balance then. I think

41:44

there'll be loads of people who... And

41:46

spiritually imbalanced is the

41:48

problem. Anyway, do tell

41:50

me about this guy. I think his third space is

41:53

murdering farm workers. Absolutely. It's

41:56

axe time. It's axe time. So... I'm

42:00

a husband and I do acts

42:02

time. So,

42:04

he gets arrested. Ooh.

42:09

Yeah, so basically the local

42:12

farmers go to Gomunda and go, you've got to

42:14

do something about him and he's like, okay fine.

42:17

I imagine like Gaston when he's going to kill

42:19

the beast with the sticks on fire. Gaston's fit,

42:21

he doesn't get credit for that. Belle

42:23

Woodoff, I don't care what anyone says, 100%. Yeah,

42:27

absolutely. So

42:30

they go and they kind

42:32

of, they take him into custody

42:34

let's say. He immediately confesses to

42:36

18 murders. What?

42:40

No, actually. What whole population is it not?

42:43

He confesses to nine murders.

42:45

Okay. To a lawyer and

42:47

then they basically search his

42:49

farm and they find 18

42:51

different bodies. Wow. Now

42:55

this is where the dream comes back because

42:58

the 19th was going to

43:00

be either the brother or the

43:02

mum and just

43:04

like that meat that made him sick and not

43:06

want anymore, the 19th murder that he

43:08

was about to commit is what sort of hoisted him

43:10

by his own facade. Okay. So

43:13

that's where they think the dream comes in. It

43:15

was foretelling or foreshadowing. So he

43:17

confesses everything to a lawyer. They search

43:19

the farm and they find bits of

43:22

body absolutely everywhere. Now he says,

43:24

yeah, you are going to find that actually, but I

43:26

only killed nine people and they're like, what about all

43:28

the bodies on your farm? He said, I'm

43:30

glad you asked. I found those

43:33

elsewhere and then I just didn't want to

43:35

bother the authorities with them and I

43:37

didn't want to take it to a cemetery. So I just buried

43:39

them. I just reburied them. That's what all that is. And

43:42

they were like, okay, you're lying. You're lying. You're

43:44

lying. You killed 18 people. So

43:47

he used to basically his Emma was

43:49

he used to, transient

43:51

people would pass through, which is a really

43:54

common thing with all serial killers of people

43:56

like coming and going, transient people would, and

43:58

they might annoy him or he might just. be coveting something

44:00

they had and he would chop them up with the

44:02

axe. They would annoy. And

44:05

then he would dump them in a mare, a nearby mare.

44:08

And that's where he was largely disposing

44:10

of the bodies. So... Martin Mere Holiday

44:12

Park. Do you remember that? No. You

44:15

didn't get the adverts for that? No.

44:17

Martin Mere Holiday Park. Where

44:19

is that? I think it's near Blackpool. Love it.

44:22

So while he's confessing, he also says,

44:25

my wife was involved as well

44:27

and shows his pregnant wife under

44:29

the bus. Now, he is executed

44:31

in 1596. The person who is

44:33

largely responsible

44:39

for the execution is his

44:41

uncle because he's a

44:44

very small area. Lovely. And he apparently,

44:46

he's like rustic. He has a very,

44:49

very full on execution. So

44:53

they apparently they used the wheel on him,

44:55

which is where they would... Yeah. Yeah. Which

44:57

is where you'd sort of like, yeah, stretch

44:59

out on a wheel. But some

45:01

people say, there's lots of different things. Some people say he

45:03

was hanged. I don't think he

45:05

was. What is most likely

45:08

to have happened is that his incisions

45:11

were made below sort of big

45:13

bones. And then those are

45:15

the sort of marks to smash between.

45:17

Oh, by his uncle. And

45:20

apparently he didn't complain. He didn't pass

45:22

out during all this and there's more

45:24

stuff to get into. And he said,

45:26

uncle rarely breaks the bone while in

45:28

secret. So he's like doing bits while

45:31

he's being executed. You

45:33

know, I say, I'm uncle, he breaks bone in

45:35

secret. So he's on this, they think it was

45:39

like a cross that he sort of

45:41

held to. His bones are smashed. And

45:44

then they remove limbs, but they do

45:46

it with a boy. The knife

45:48

is basically cauterizing the wound to keep him

45:51

alive longer. The

45:53

limbs off. But obviously it sort

45:55

of sears through so he doesn't

45:57

die from the loss of blood. And

46:00

then, yeah, so he's cut into several pieces

46:02

and then he's beheaded. And

46:04

then each piece is

46:07

mounted on a stake. Now,

46:09

lovely touch. Again, there's a

46:11

really very weird facet to this where they're

46:13

removing his penis. And depending on what he

46:15

wants to do, they either remove his penis,

46:18

throw it at his wife, or

46:22

remove his penis and pop it on

46:24

a lap. It's

46:27

a bit of fun. What the hell do you do? She said, if

46:29

anyone's gonna cut off that dick, it's gonna be me. And

46:32

she cuts his willy off. So

46:34

I don't know which one you wanna pick as you'll prefer to do

46:36

that. I like the third one.

46:38

Okay. Yes. What

46:41

is this, choose your own penis

46:43

ending? So yes, he

46:45

is sort of held up on

46:48

stakes. Now, the Icelandic people start to get the fear

46:50

that he will come back as a draka, which

46:53

is basically their living dead,

46:55

their zombie. And so

46:57

they're like, ooh, so they split the body

46:59

into four and they go and bury them

47:02

under kind of cairns, like big piles of

47:04

stones, one of which still remains today that

47:06

you can go and visit, but the others

47:08

have been sort of displaced. And it was

47:10

the idea is that those bodies should never

47:12

come back together because they think because of

47:14

how evil he was, he would rise up

47:16

and kill the inhabitants of Iceland. She

47:20

gives birth. She is sentenced to death also

47:22

because of her role in the crime. Oh

47:25

yeah, it's so funny, when they went onto the house, by the way, when

47:28

they were like, they said to

47:30

him, they're like, have you been murdering people and stealing it

47:32

from me? He's like, no. And they're like, where's that

47:34

hood from? He's like, I don't remember. And

47:37

they were like, where's that shirt from? With silver buttons,

47:39

really? Oh, I think silver buttons. And he's like, I

47:41

think it's really rude that you're asking these questions. And

47:44

then they brought in some farmhands and they were like, do

47:46

you recognize that shirt? And they were like, well yeah, that

47:48

guy went missing two years ago, wore that shirt. And that's

47:50

when they were like, you're arrested, mate. So

47:53

yes, she is not sentenced to

47:55

death. Her Punishment is watching

47:57

him be executed in this manner. Fine

48:00

but if you believe the old out shot the

48:02

deck of see I am by the time and

48:04

so she gives birth to a boy. Which

48:07

is beyond some sense. Son

48:09

grows up also to be a career

48:12

criminal and he is hung in sixteen

48:14

Forty Eight for attempted rape lol and

48:16

in the Sun a the Life. He

48:19

has a son not son.

48:21

gets really. Grows up to

48:23

be executed for being criminals Low.

48:26

Oh so they were like scope.

48:29

Beyond. Read about Spunk site

48:31

while. Yeah, Graham said they

48:33

go or from Sony a serial

48:35

killer? Who had a dream about

48:37

some chunks? the my best they went to

48:39

ban brazil and run and eleven ever resolve

48:41

then retail outlets. I don't have that such

48:43

as the munchies sunshine but people will have

48:45

been to the presenting barbecue things where you

48:48

have like a token it's green and red

48:50

on one side and they come round and

48:52

cut you off bits of stuff. Yeah.

48:55

Listen as a vague and I absolutely love

48:57

the Ss the buffet the middle of pretty

48:59

good but it's not the side and your

49:01

thoughts good, it's good that one also like

49:03

and and this is me being like a

49:05

churlish and. Missile my

49:07

a white person is when in been they come

49:10

on the got least like these amazing steaks elsa

49:12

if it isn't steaks and is like chicken thighs

49:14

and things a lot of is really good solstice

49:16

and then they're like chickens heart city like know

49:19

nothing to and i i don't eat. Size.

49:22

Really know? Of a chick, I don't

49:24

eat me on bones. And don't eat

49:26

size tweet feel like a brilliant like.

49:29

To the King when you hit me on

49:31

the brother never done it made my is

49:34

of the i gave it knocks me sick

49:36

Merlin yes I did have a the week

49:38

I went a full vague and and the

49:40

poop cross row for me at Taliban Kitchen

49:42

at the Rose and Crown and Walthamstow yeah

49:44

at grenade the ensued oh my god in

49:47

fat when you hear next got will go.

49:49

Eight was brilliant gray.

49:52

Yelled. Is a see less so that you

49:54

ain't gonna get me Inquiry: Go. To

49:57

that would be out. Why does he like ghosts? or

50:00

I just wouldn't eat any animal, and it's

50:02

on bones and I'm not eating goats, I'm

50:04

not eating sheep, I'm not eating lamb.

50:07

I mean, I heard you were going off meat altogether. I

50:09

am, to be honest, and after I saw that fucking chicken

50:11

eating that mouse before I'm out, like

50:13

the old woman who swallowed a fly. Oh,

50:15

thank you. So yeah, that is Axlebion, as he's known.

50:18

Iceland's only cereal, can I? Very good, I like that

50:20

one. Bjorn Pizza, and he's good, isn't he? Yeah, he

50:22

is good. I was, when I was doing it, I

50:24

was like, I feel like I'm missing a trick, this

50:26

would be a good live show. It would be a

50:29

great live show, that. We've picked

50:31

Halloween, I know we haven't picked Halloween, but I've

50:33

found one for Halloween. Tell

50:36

us when we start. Thanks

50:38

so much for listening and watching. Tickets

50:41

for your tour? Oh yes, tickets for my tour

50:43

are on sale now. When

50:45

will this be coming out? June. Guys,

50:48

you've still got time to get tickets for my massive

50:50

show in Cardiff, and that's the one I'm so scared

50:52

of. But thank you very much to everyone who's come

50:54

to the tour and said nice things about it. And

50:57

look at me as she and me people have said

50:59

nice. From the previews I'm getting lovely messages, so thank

51:02

you very much. And if you're coming to my tour

51:04

show, please, I'm collecting pens for Kids UK, and they

51:06

collect pens and they distribute them globally to kids so

51:08

they can carry on their education. So if you've got

51:10

like, you know, we've all got drawers full of pens

51:12

that we're not using, bring some along. I,

51:15

I'm just going to the Edinburgh Fringe, that's it. That's

51:18

it. Just going to the biggest international arts

51:20

festival in the world. Do come. To get

51:22

absolutely alienly violated by accommodation which costs way

51:25

too fucking much. Hey, I booked mine well

51:27

in advance. It's still expensive. Go

51:29

on, spill the beans. Are you comfortable

51:32

saying? Student accommodation. Thousands, right? Oh, thousands,

51:34

yeah. Thousands. For three weeks.

51:37

Yeah. For what? A double bed and

51:39

an ensuite? No, no, single bed. Single bed.

51:42

On suite. I'll tell you when we

51:44

get off here. Fucking maths. Well, I will

51:46

tell you exactly how much I paid for

51:48

a flight in Edinburgh, which I'm still legally

51:51

complaining about because one of the rooms was

51:53

a cupboard. It wasn't

51:55

a mezzanine, it was a mattress in

51:57

an air cupboard. The only window

51:59

I met in the... That you know which is illegal

52:01

of he said he complained of i'm gonna take

52:03

out the that could say. That.

52:05

Allows him on it and then where we do

52:07

a Christmas of. Of a we'll say lawyer

52:09

and I never never.