Mox: This is a Relivenator, it’ll bring these ‘stolen ones’ back to sentience. One blast, wake ‘em up! So, who first?

Busher: Give mae fuckin’ the gun, I’ll do it! Yeah?

Mox: Ah now careful my human friend, you are supposed to be my enemy! I mean you could just as easily use it on me and run out of here, which would be bad for your health. No, no,  which one of the stolen ones do you want to relivenate?

Arlee: I don’t give a shite.

Jagger: Eh I’d say Dickus, what you think? I don’t know what I think, what’s best? I mean-

Tucker: Dickus then, doesn’t matter a fack.

Arlee: Yeah.

Mox: One Dickus, coooming up!

(Relivenator powers up and zaps)

Dickus: Ugh, ugh-

Jagger: That’s mad.

Busher: Peah… Hello old friend! First you die, now you’re alive!

Dickus: (Alien voice)

Tucker: Jesus, he might be alive, but that’s not his voice.

Jagger: How’d he get back to Soupalon from under a ton of Neozine spilling over him in the factory?

Arlee: He didn’t. It’s not him Jagger. Dickus is dead.

Mox: Ah, yeah, sorry. Dickus? Planet X47, lingual code ‘81’ please.

Dickus: (translating) Uh? Ah… um… O-kaay? Where the hell am I?

Mox: Why, under my control of course.

Dickus: Mox Faulder? The great Mox Faulder? Mox you magnificent bastard, I’ve read your book!

Mox: Ah-ho, well thank you Dickus Soupus. Listen, I’d like to introduce you to some friends;

Tucker: Eh-

Busher: Something’s very wrong about this.

Jagger: He’s the spit of himself tho’ Ned.

Mox: They are from planet X47.

Dickus: Ok, planet X47s! That’s amazing. Planet X47, I’d never thought I’d see it.

Mox: Four of them Dickus, it’s our lucky day! We will now call them ‘humans’ or ‘people’ for clarity.

Dickus: Hu-mans. Em, sorry, just a moment eh. Mox, why am I here? Holy god! That’s Spikus! Tonus! And Malthus! … Bop too?

Mox: Yes. And don’t forget Holtus Pox.

Dickus: Ah Holtus! My best friend. Holtus!

Mox: Okay, stop hugging the bag Dickus.

Dickus: Bring him back Mox!

Mox: No.

Tucker: No, no, no, I’m not seeing this.

Mox: Eh, just to bring you up to speed Dickus, your plans to bring down the ruling council were infiltrated. You were all put in suspender for your crimes and kept here.

Dickus: Ah, right, now I see. How, eh, long ago was that?

Mox: 340 moon cycles.

Dickus: What?!

Tucker: How long’s that in Earf time?

Mox: Eh roughly about 24, yes, roughly about 24 years.

Busher: Shyeah! Fuck off! How convenient! Soupalons coming to Ratchly 19 years ago couldn’t have happened ‘coz this cunt was frozen in your shed for 24 years?!

Dickus: What’s a ‘cunt’? 

Busher: It’s what you are!

Amplevoicepod make lovely sound-designed ear-film comedy drama adventures where we submerge your ears in a sea of sound, putting you at the heart of the story along with our heroes. Bursting out feature-length stories with over 40 titles and 50+ characters, all created from collaborative ideas and sculpted over months to arrive at the final mix.

United Mutations I, II & III and Panspermia I & II & III are 8.5-hours of a sci-fi podcast series by Amplevoicepod divvied up into 12 storming sections for your delectation. If you like podcast stories with atmosphere, panic and stupidity, served in high resolution audio, where you can immerse yourself into another world (and who wouldn't these days hmm?) you may just get this. A prime feast of a podcast. Not quite ‘Battle of the Planets’ but just as awesome.