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1:00

Pay the Apple Pay with your compatible

1:02

device anywhere contactless payment is accepted. Welcome,

1:06

welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous.

1:09

I'm Dan Buck, Roger Shepard,

1:11

and I'm joined by Monica

1:13

Monsoon, Padman. Who

1:16

today we're talking school

1:19

days. Yes, parent-teacher conference.

1:22

Which people probably just had some year in. Oh

1:24

yeah, probably. Yeah. Did you go

1:26

to any? No, I think the

1:29

last ones I participated in were spring.

1:32

I have a weird take. I kept trying to float

1:34

this with some of the teachers we talked to. None

1:36

of them were buying it. I learned in this episode

1:38

I'm off base. But my thinking

1:40

is it's just this thing we make them

1:42

do where they have to come and tell

1:44

us how great our kids are. It feels

1:46

exhaustive and like pageantry. Like if there's a

1:49

problem, call me. Let me know. Let's deal

1:51

with it. Right. But all the like your

1:53

kids so perfect, it feels a little pandering.

1:55

I agree they shouldn't say your kids are

1:57

perfect, but they should say strengths and weaknesses.

2:00

It's good to know strengths and weaknesses. I

2:02

mean, I think parents are there just to

2:04

hear how great their kids are. Well, that's a parent

2:06

problem. I just always feel bad for the teacher. Yeah,

2:09

I get that. Well, you will after

2:11

listening to this story, definitely feel bad

2:13

for the teacher. Yeah, these were

2:15

great. There's no blood or duty.

2:18

This one everyone can listen to, I

2:20

can confirm. Yeah, unless you

2:22

have a trigger about losing

2:24

your hair. I guess that's the only one we

2:26

should be careful of. Even that,

2:29

I think, well, I

2:31

don't want to assume. It's

2:33

not safe to assume. Okay, no one should listen to this, actually.

2:37

We should shut this thing down, I think. Please

2:40

enjoy Parent Teacher Conference. All

2:43

times, come and go. Good

2:48

times, take them slow. My

2:51

life, I had them both. I've

2:55

had the wrong time, you

2:57

gotta know. I'm

2:59

gonna keep on shining. Good morning.

3:02

Morning. How are ya? Yeah, my alarm

3:04

didn't go off, which was bad. And

3:06

you slept till 11? 10,

3:10

10. Whoa.

3:13

I know, but it was bad.

3:15

Could you do that, Rob? No. Yeah.

3:18

Maybe you should try it. I've tried it, I

3:20

would love it. I'm envious, do you feel judged? Well,

3:23

a little. Genuinely, I would

3:25

fucking kill. I would like, as the kids, I

3:27

couldn't with the kids. But even when I'm on

3:29

vacation, I'm like, I'm going to 10 tomorrow

3:32

morning. And then I just. Well, when you're

3:34

in a routine, that's hard. But I bet

3:36

you could get yourself to a routine. I could get there.

3:39

If I worked hard at it, made it a goal. Okay.

3:42

Mary Ann, Mary Ann's her name. Not everyone

3:44

gets to see me with my knee brace

3:46

on. This is pretty lucky for them. Make

3:49

sure it looks right. Yeah, you don't want the hole in

3:51

the wrong spot. No, that's creepy. Hello.

3:55

Hi. Interesting name picking, Mary

3:57

Ann. Tell us why. Actually,

3:59

it's my. bestie girl's name and she just loves

4:01

you guys. So I'm like, well, I at least gotta

4:03

give a shout out to her. If I'm not gonna

4:05

be me, I'll be her. Okay, lovely. So

4:08

you're fully anonymous in this, and I hope

4:10

this question won't reveal too much about you,

4:12

but there's a very interesting background behind you.

4:14

What on earth am I seeing? I am

4:16

teaching summer school right now. And so I'm

4:18

in someone else's classroom, but I can't fully

4:21

get under this desk, but I thought maybe

4:23

there's some good acoustics here. Don't you worry

4:25

about that. Like I'm too big for the

4:27

children-sized desks. Oh my gosh. But those are

4:29

a million tiny little pieces of paper. Is

4:31

that what's going on? It's called border. It's

4:33

made to look like wood, but

4:35

it's indestructible so the kids can't tear it

4:38

up. Oh my God. Should we get that

4:40

everywhere? Yeah, it looks like maybe it was

4:42

a history class and they were trying to

4:44

create a log test. Oh, that would be

4:46

great. Or an engineering class. Okay, so presumably

4:48

you're not a parent, you're a teacher in

4:50

this situation. You may be a parent, but

4:52

we're talking on behalf of you as a

4:54

teacher. Yes. Okay, great. So

4:56

you had a wild parent teacher experience? Yes,

4:58

so this is my second year teaching. So

5:01

I'm a baby. Wait, currently it is? Or

5:03

this is when the story took place? When

5:05

this happened. When I was teaching that year,

5:07

I was teaching kindergarten. That was my first

5:09

time working with the little, little ones. And

5:12

do they tend to start people there? Where

5:14

do they think it's easiest to jump in?

5:16

That is not the easiest. No. My

5:19

first year I taught third grade and

5:21

then they just had to do some

5:23

shifting around the building. And I was

5:25

like, I'll teach anywhere, even kindergarten. And

5:27

bless those people, they are so, so

5:29

amazing. That is not the grade for

5:31

me. Right, right. I mean, it's really

5:34

borderline babysitting. You have to teach them

5:36

every, how to line up. There's one

5:38

rolling around the room, this one's climbing

5:40

up something, this one, I'm hungry. Some

5:42

kids got his clothes off all of a

5:44

sudden. Some can read and write, some have

5:46

squiggles for names. Oh my God. It's not

5:48

the gig for me. Okay. So

5:51

I'm terrified about parent teacher conferences. You know,

5:53

you have to tell parents the good, the

5:55

bad. And so I had a mom that

5:57

was coming up. Her baby was struggling academically.

5:59

and I knew I had to have some

6:01

hard conversations with her. As we start going,

6:04

first I tell her all the great things

6:06

about her little love, and then she starts

6:08

telling me about how she had started seeing

6:10

another student in class's father. Okay. The mom

6:12

told you this? She started telling me, and

6:14

I try to redirect the conversation because, you

6:16

know, conferences are quick. We've got a ton

6:18

we have to get in in a short

6:20

amount of time. Yes. Please note that this

6:22

dad is married. Sure. And I know he's

6:25

married, and I don't know if she knows

6:27

that he's married. Oh my god. It's not

6:29

my place to say anything. You guys do

6:31

your thing. And really quick, is she telling

6:33

you this in the same way Tom Cruise

6:35

jumped on that couch? She was just so

6:37

in love, she wanted to share it with

6:39

anyone that would listen, or did she think

6:41

it had something material to do with her

6:43

child's education? Had not a bit to do

6:46

with her child's education. I think she thought

6:48

we were friends, and I was a safe

6:50

space. Okay, okay. And she starts telling me

6:52

that they're seeing each other, and

6:54

so I'm like, well, so your son. Ha

6:56

ha ha ha ha ha. These are the

6:58

letters that he knows. These are the letters

7:01

he doesn't know. She's like, my friends call

7:03

him my sugar daddy. Oh. Okay. Wow,

7:06

she's really on one. She really

7:09

can't get off topic. These are the numbers

7:11

that your son knows. This is what we're

7:13

working on. We're working on addition. And she's

7:15

like, you know what? He pays me, he'll

7:17

come over, I lift up my

7:19

shirt, show him my titties, and he jacks off

7:21

in the corner. Oh my. Oh,

7:23

here we go. What? First and foremost, thank God

7:25

there's a woman telling you this story. Yeah. Yeah,

7:27

but man's telling you about this. We gotta call

7:30

someone. How old are you? I'm like 23. Yeah.

7:32

And how old is she? She's probably

7:35

roughly my age, maybe a few years

7:37

older. I live a very sheltered, sweet,

7:39

sweet life. And so I don't know

7:41

that people do these things. No wonder

7:44

the kid is struggling. This is all

7:46

going down in his house. That's real.

7:49

She can't even pay attention to the

7:51

kid's number. I wasn't disagreeing with you.

7:53

I was more thinking even further upstream,

7:55

like, okay, so genetically she's one who

7:57

takes money to show titties to a

7:59

classmate. Dad, maybe genetically there's some stuff.

8:02

I don't think that's a genetic thing.

8:05

OK, OK. So at

8:07

that time I was horrified, but if this were

8:09

going on now, I would be like, girl, give

8:11

me all the details. What's going on? We can

8:13

just start your kid later, like tell me everything.

8:16

But at that time, I'm just sitting there

8:18

like, OK. Then she's like, OK.

8:20

And then it gets even weirder. I told him

8:22

just to stop coming around. He knocks on my

8:25

door. I don't answer. So he goes to the

8:27

back door, knocks, knocks, knocks. And then he just

8:29

says, I know you're in there. And then he'll

8:31

eventually leave. Now, again, if she told me these

8:33

things, I would have tried to help her.

8:35

But I'm just in shock. I'm floored. They

8:37

don't prep you for this in education courses.

8:39

In fact, you have any section

8:42

on parent teacher conferences, that aspect

8:44

of the job. They teach you

8:46

to sandwich the information, give them some good gift,

8:48

some things to work on, but they don't tell

8:50

you all the wild curveballs that can come your

8:52

way when you're having such conferences. Wow.

8:55

Wow, wow, wow. What would be

8:57

a great ending of this story is that you guys

8:59

have been now best friends for 10 years. And

9:02

I know everything. No, no,

9:04

no, no. At that point,

9:06

I'm like, OK, well, we've got

9:08

to wrap up this conversation. Like, I've got

9:10

the next family that's coming in. I'm so

9:13

sorry. I call my mom. I'm like, oh,

9:15

my God, this just happened. And then I go

9:17

tell my teammates because they've been teaching longer than

9:19

I have. And they're like, this is not normal. This

9:22

is not right. And so I was like, OK, I'm going to

9:24

take this one with me. I'm going to let it go. I'm going to move on. And

9:26

the next day, my boss calls me into

9:29

his office. He's got a twinkle in his

9:31

eye. He is smiling from ear to ear.

9:33

And he's like, our parent teacher conferences yesterday.

9:36

I was like, you know everything,

9:38

don't you? And he's like, tell

9:40

me all of it. So I'm

9:42

again, a baby. I am like

9:44

a blotchy purple horrified.

9:46

But I tell my boss

9:49

everything and our conferences go two

9:51

days in a row. So then shortly

9:53

after that, I get to have a

9:55

conference with that man and his wife

9:58

about his kid and the. during

10:00

that conversation. I'm just thinking about him, being

10:03

in the corner, doing his thing, thinking about

10:05

that nachies, you know? Yeah, sure,

10:07

sure. He was with his

10:09

wife, but did he seem normal? Yeah, like

10:12

if you were to force yourself to

10:14

imagine you didn't know that detail about

10:16

him, would anything have- Red flags. Red

10:18

flags. No, not a bit. Wow, you

10:20

know, now that we're talking about it,

10:22

I have been in many parent-teacher conferences

10:24

and I like to think I'm really

10:26

good at policing myself because you

10:28

get disgusting as a parent because you love hearing

10:31

good stuff about your kids and then you start

10:33

bragging about your kids and then you're mining for

10:35

more. And I realized after one or two of

10:37

these, I'm like, oh, this is so gross. This

10:39

brings out a really gross side of ourselves. Oh,

10:42

interesting. So mostly when we have these, I'll say,

10:45

look, I know your day is so hectic.

10:47

If you wanna just tell us the couple things we

10:50

gotta work on, you don't have to do the whole

10:52

thing. And some of them have been like, oh my

10:54

God, thank you. Yeah, I would love the extra 10

10:56

minutes. I try to shut them down early unless there's

10:58

something going on. Was that something you would appreciate? I

11:01

wanna tell you about your babies. We spend all

11:03

day with them. We see the good, the bad,

11:05

the ugly. We think your kids are fabulous. Of

11:07

course, there's things they need to work on, but

11:09

I want you to know that I see that

11:11

in them too. So that way, if we have

11:14

to have hard conversations moving forward, you know that

11:16

I love them so much. Okay, so

11:18

you don't feel like you're placating

11:20

the parents so much. No,

11:23

this job is all about relationships

11:26

and I like to talk to parents within the

11:28

first few weeks of school, build that relationship, and

11:31

then conferences that time where we get to really

11:33

dig in and form that bond because there will

11:35

be hard things that come up during the year.

11:37

Wendy has also said, Wendy Mogul, it's really good

11:39

to hear what teachers say about your kid, positive

11:42

and negative, but positive is important because

11:44

sometimes the way they behave in school

11:46

is much different than the way they

11:48

behave at home. And to know how

11:50

they are in a school environment is

11:52

important. Right, that's a good point. So there are

11:54

a couple of child therapists, their first question is do

11:56

they do this at school? And if they don't, then

11:58

really you're like, oh yeah. then they're just blowing

12:00

off steam at home. Right, because there's so

12:03

many things that parents will tell me that

12:05

kids do at home. And I'm like, never

12:07

have I seen anything like that at school.

12:09

And that's what I tell them. Home is

12:11

their safe space where they get to let

12:13

loose. They get to be themselves fully. And

12:15

so it's fun having those conversations. When you

12:18

have to suggest that the child might need

12:20

some additional assistance, how is that met? Like,

12:22

have you got extreme defensiveness? At some point,

12:24

someone had to tell my mom, like, I

12:26

think he's dyslexic. He probably needs to go

12:28

get some testing. People, I assume

12:30

teachers have to tell parents, I think he needs

12:33

to get tested for a spectrum. I don't know.

12:35

I'm assuming that's happening. For sure, but we have

12:37

to be so delicate in the way that we

12:39

say stuff, because we are not doctors and we

12:41

cannot diagnose anything. So like, if we think that

12:44

a kid has challenges with their attention, we couldn't

12:46

ever suggest that your kid might have ADHD. We

12:48

could say that they have a hard time focusing.

12:50

Here's the things that we see. And then you

12:53

might want to talk to their pediatrician about that.

12:55

People don't bristle at that. That's fine. And then

12:57

that's on them. And I've had a lot of

12:59

parents tell me, my kid doesn't have ADHD. I

13:01

don't want them on medicine, but I don't know.

13:04

That's what I was saying. Yeah, yeah. I just

13:06

want you to know, these are the things that

13:08

I see. These are the challenges that they have

13:11

sometimes. And I just want you to take that

13:13

information and do what you will with that. Oh,

13:15

boy. What a cake you guys have. Mary Ann,

13:17

I really wish we could get an update from

13:19

that mom. I want to know what's happening now.

13:21

This seems like an exciting- It almost seems like

13:23

it was a, now it's feeling sadder. Like a

13:25

cry for help. Yeah, she needed to be able

13:27

to say all that. And especially he was coming

13:29

to the door and stuff and she wasn't answering.

13:31

This got a little dark. Had it been me

13:33

now, it would have gone completely different. But that's

13:36

not your role. You're not there to be your

13:38

therapist. That's not your fault, but it just feels

13:40

like, yikes, lady. I would dig

13:42

right in. I'd be like, wow, interesting. So

13:44

he's paying, you're in love though. Okay, but

13:46

you're still charging for the view. And

13:49

I do have a counseling degree now. So, I mean,

13:51

I could have really turned it into a session. Like,

13:53

let's dig in. I wrap

13:55

this up at seven, come back and let's really

13:57

roll up our sleeves. Let's meet again. before

14:00

I let you guys go, I have one quick

14:02

story for you. Yeah. I wanted to let you

14:04

know how you all helped me find out that

14:06

I was pregnant for the first time. Wow. Okay.

14:09

This is going to be interesting. So

14:11

my husband and I, we hopped on

14:14

the train to come see you. We

14:16

live in the Kansas city area. We

14:18

went to Chicago. You were out on

14:20

here, Chicago shows. So I'm excited. So

14:22

pumped to see you live. The music

14:24

starts playing. You all walk out. I

14:26

start balling hysterically. I've

14:29

seen people do this with Elvis

14:31

and the Beatles. I

14:34

love people so much, but I did

14:36

not expect that I would be crying

14:38

and crying. And my husband looks

14:40

over at me. What is going on with you?

14:42

I'm like, I don't know. I'm just so happy.

14:47

The next day we're like, maybe we'll get a pregnancy test.

14:50

Maybe my hormones are just a little

14:52

bit off and we found out and

14:54

it was all from. Wow. So

14:56

how old's your baby now? She's a little bit over

14:58

four. Oh, wow. Well, I'm glad

15:00

we're a part of that story. Yeah, me too.

15:02

Very flat or ever. All right. Well, nice meeting

15:05

you. So nice to meet you guys, too. All

15:07

right. Take care. I. Oh,

15:10

I want to go back to school. I thought you were about to

15:12

say I want to go back to sleep. I

15:14

do. Oh, I want to go back to sleep.

15:16

I had a tough morning. Tough morning. Well, it

15:18

was just, it was so hectic. Trying

15:21

to get out of the house. Well, once you

15:23

see that it's 1010, you

15:26

like throw the phone. I missed a

15:28

meeting. It wasn't that I slept

15:30

through it. It didn't go off. We

15:33

didn't set it. I must not have. But I did set it.

15:35

I set it for 830. No,

15:38

but the phone doesn't make mistakes.

15:40

Here's David. David. Oh,

15:43

fun. Male teachers. I have a stereotype when I

15:45

think of teacher. I think female. Ding, ding, ding.

15:47

Just yesterday. This is weird. One of my best

15:50

friends from home, Kirsten. She's a teacher. T.B.D.

15:52

Hi. Hi, David. It's so great to meet

15:55

you, too. You too. You look like John

15:57

Mayer. Obviously, everyone must tell you that. I've

15:59

never heard that before. That is the kindest

16:01

thing. I could see it in the eyes.

16:03

Sure. But also like sort of a

16:05

little Adam Brody-esque. There's a lot of

16:08

handsome stuff going on. These

16:10

are all great comparisons. I'll take any one of them.

16:13

Yeah, my first thought was John Mayer's a

16:15

teacher. Yeah, he's transitioned over. Second

16:17

life. David, where are you? I am currently in

16:19

LA, but I live in New York. I'm just

16:21

here for the week. Oh, is there an event

16:23

you're attending or just on vacation? I am attending

16:25

a wedding. So I'm just staying in San Mike.

16:28

I used to live here for five years and

16:30

then moved to New York. Okay, when you come

16:32

back, do you think like why did I ever

16:34

leave? Or do you think I'm glad I left?

16:36

What do you think? You're just

16:38

making sure you're recording. I know this looked very

16:40

well. Yes. There's

16:43

a third person. I don't have it yet, but

16:45

it'll be coming. Okay, it's coming. You know, it's

16:48

great. We're getting a really great look at David's

16:50

face from every angle. Like when you're setting your

16:52

face ID with the iPhone and you have to

16:54

rotate all around. Okay, so back to California question.

16:56

When you come back, are you thinking shit? Why

16:59

did I ever leave or are you thinking, oh, thank God

17:01

I left. Why did I ever leave? My wife was the

17:03

big push to New York. I was trying to convince us

17:05

to stay in LA. And so we split

17:07

the difference and ended up in New York. I

17:12

love LA. I was a huge fan. It's

17:14

pretty good. I like it. Pricey, but good. I'm

17:17

a West Sider. I feel like you guys are East Side

17:19

folks. Well, I did do 10 years on the West Side

17:21

in Santa Monica. You glidden. But you identify

17:23

as an East Side boy. Oh God. Yeah,

17:25

I had no business there. I only want fighting hooligans on

17:28

the street out there on the West Side. Okay,

17:30

David. So you have a great parent

17:32

teacher conference story. Are you a teacher

17:34

or a parent in this scenario? I'm

17:36

a student in this scenario. A student.

17:38

Wow. Interesting. Left

17:41

curve ball. Left curve ball. That's the known

17:43

saying. Yeah. So

17:45

this takes place 2005 ish where I grew

17:47

up in Rockville, Maryland. I was a sophomore

17:49

in high school, so probably not the most

17:51

self-aware or smartest age for boys. In

17:54

high school, I was a good student. I got

17:56

decent grades. It was very important for my parents

17:58

that I got good grades. but I hated doing

18:00

homework. I would literally do anything possible to avoid

18:02

doing homework. And I had this strategy where I

18:04

would just calculate, if I got a zero on

18:06

homework, what would I need to get on every

18:08

other test in order to get an A? If

18:10

homework's 5%, then if I feel like I can

18:12

get a 95% in the test, then

18:15

no worries, I'll do no homework. Solid approach. In

18:17

my foolish 15-year-old mind, it's like I'd rather stay

18:20

up all night for two nights in a row

18:22

cramming rather than 15 minutes a

18:24

night for the month before. Yes. Okay,

18:26

I don't wanna slow the momentum down, but for me,

18:29

it's Adam Scott as well. Oh,

18:31

okay. And it's when the face is in motion.

18:33

Yeah, sure. All three are great

18:35

ones. I really appreciate it. Adam Scott, I

18:38

love. Okay, so that was the game plan.

18:40

Not perfect, but mostly worked. But I

18:42

had a Spanish class where my teacher was

18:44

roughly three months behind on grading tests. So

18:46

I had done zero homework in the class.

18:49

I had zero tests done, and then I

18:51

was a pretty good student. So I had

18:53

interim report cards where it was all A's

18:55

and then one F. So less

18:57

than ideal situation. And so I was constantly begging

18:59

my teacher, like, could you just please grade my

19:01

tests? And she was having none of it and

19:03

said she would get to it when she get

19:05

to it, which in hindsight, fair enough. She was

19:07

saying, you should probably just do your homework. And

19:09

I think a smarter man might have just decided

19:11

to do their homework, but I was committed to

19:13

my strategy. So I just kept

19:15

badgering my teacher. And she said, look, if you

19:18

don't like the way I'm running the class, let's

19:20

set up a parent-teacher conference. We could talk about

19:22

your class performance. As a quick aside, my parents

19:24

are not the hear me out type of parents.

19:26

They're both lawyers. They come from families of educators.

19:29

They will always side with the teacher. There is

19:31

almost no scenario where they will side with me.

19:33

They have a healthy skepticism of their children. And

19:36

so a parent-teacher conference is a disaster.

19:39

But I felt really pot committed. And I don't

19:41

know about you Dax at 15, but

19:43

I feel like the most common solution for 15

19:45

year old boys just to escalate the situation. And

19:47

so I said, if we're having a parent-teacher conference, I

19:49

think we should bring the head of the department in

19:51

as well. Oh, wow. That

19:54

would make her back off or something. I'm sure

19:56

they were friends. She said, great.

19:59

And I said. Okay, only rational thing is to

20:01

escalate it further. And I said, no, I think

20:03

the principal needs to be involved. And she said,

20:05

fantastic. I

20:07

left the classroom and I was like, this is an

20:10

absolute disaster. Yeah, you just designed

20:12

your public execution. Yes. And

20:15

so my parents got a notice. They said, you

20:17

need to come in for a conference at like

20:19

noon on a Wednesday. So they were furious, not

20:21

only because they assumed that I messed up and

20:23

was being an idiot, but also because they had

20:25

to drive 45 minutes from their office in the

20:27

middle of the day. Were they working in DC?

20:30

This is a disaster. Yeah. And

20:32

so I had a few days before the conference and

20:34

I prepared for this thing. Like I was going in

20:36

front of the Supreme court, put in more effort into

20:38

this than anything I've ever done before. I was like

20:40

writing opening statements. I was printing out evidence. I

20:43

was preparing packets. And so the day comes

20:45

along and I'm sitting outside the principal's office

20:47

and my parents are sitting there. I have

20:50

my Manila folder in hand just waiting. And

20:52

my dad is silently fuming, just staring at

20:54

me the entire time, refusing

20:56

to look anywhere else. When we walk in, I was like,

20:58

just let me open a meeting. I think I thought that if

21:01

I could just set some context. Set the

21:03

tone, yeah. I was like, I could talk my way

21:05

out of this. I started, I was just like, listen,

21:07

I think this is about how much I care about

21:09

this class and how much I think

21:11

it's my right to understand my grades so I can

21:14

understand my level of competency and really make sure

21:16

I'm understanding the material, which

21:18

I think is the most generous

21:20

interpretation of the situation possible. This

21:22

is brilliant kind of. If you're

21:24

the educator or the principal or the numerous people

21:26

you've called into this, you could

21:28

either be charmed by this or like

21:30

so annoyed by how precocious this kid

21:33

is. It goes one way or the

21:35

other, very polarizing swing. I think the

21:37

latter should see the situation right now.

21:39

It's bringing back my memory of Rushmore

21:41

and how he was the worst student

21:43

ever, but he was so eloquent and

21:45

well-spoken in his defense. But he is a

21:47

good student. That's why this is tricky. It's

21:49

tricky. Yeah, okay. I think

21:51

if my Spanish teacher was just like, the solution to

21:53

this is David does his homework, I would have been

21:56

eviscerated. That would have been the end of the conversation,

21:58

but I think she wanted to not. bring

22:00

up that she is three months behind in

22:02

grading. So she says, David, I absolutely agree,

22:04

but you've never before brought up wanting to

22:06

know your grades. Oops. Interesting move. Yeah. So

22:09

then I pull out my Manila folder and

22:11

I say, Señora, here is the email of

22:13

me asking you to see my grades. And

22:16

I handed a copy to her and the principal

22:18

as my first exhibit. And they looked at it.

22:20

And then the teacher said, you know what? I've

22:22

never received this email before. Oh,

22:25

she's spiraling. Purging herself. She's quite

22:28

flustered. Oh. And

22:30

then so I pull out the second email and I

22:32

said, here's your response to the first email. Oh, fuck.

22:36

This is like, few good men. You

22:39

got the witness to break. I could

22:41

see my parents just like move from

22:44

angrily staring at me to just looking

22:46

at the teacher, like, more so just

22:48

how did my son trap you in

22:50

this situation than anything else? It was

22:52

just like mystified. And then

22:54

at this point, the principal stands up that is like, you

22:56

know, I think this meeting is over. I'll

22:59

get your papers graded. Oh,

23:02

shit. So you won. Won the battle, lost the war.

23:04

They're like, okay, we're going to grade your papers. We're

23:07

going to give it to the head of the Spanish

23:09

department who was so much of

23:11

a tougher grader than my teacher ever was.

23:13

And so I think the moral of the

23:15

story was just do your homework. That could

23:17

have ended way better for me. I would like

23:19

to think I've had some accomplishments in my life,

23:21

but I think it's the proudest my dad has

23:24

ever been of me. Oh, God. What grade

23:26

did you end up with at the end

23:28

of the semester? Probably a B or C.

23:30

I think it accurately reflected my level of

23:32

competency of the material. Right.

23:35

Oh, what a moment for mom and dad as a

23:37

lawyer. That homework probably could have gotten you back up

23:39

to an A. That's the beauty of homework. It can

23:41

actually get you up a little bit. It's there for

23:43

a reason. It is. It wasn't for me either. What

23:45

do you do? I work in finance now. I thought

23:48

I was going to be a lawyer for a number

23:50

of years and then tried that out. It was not

23:52

for me. Everyone hates it, right? We can agree. All

23:54

lawyers take their job. My parents were not trying to

23:56

push me to the career at all. I know no

23:59

lawyers who enjoy it. I hear finance is only a

24:01

tick better than yeah,

24:04

I'm not sure it's a ton better. Less reading.

24:06

All right. Well, David, great meeting you. Well done.

24:08

That victory was worth a C I think. Yeah.

24:10

Yeah. That's a life story. I appreciate it. It's

24:12

great being you guys. Yeah. You too. Have fun

24:15

on your trip to LA and have a good

24:17

time at the wedding. All right. Well, they're very

24:20

charming and smart, man. So smart. That's why

24:22

I thought maybe he, I felt like he

24:24

was, well he probably is doing something really

24:26

important, but like, yeah,

24:31

growing the nest egg annual percentage

24:33

rate is 17%. Okay.

24:37

Back to my really important story. Oh

24:39

yeah. Sorry. So Kirsten, one of my

24:41

best friends from home, she is now

24:43

a teacher at my high school. Well,

24:45

actually she's an administration now, but she

24:47

sent me a picture just yesterday of

24:49

her in our eighth grade

24:51

teacher. They

24:53

had run into each other at a

24:55

thing and he had ended up becoming

24:58

a principal, but I think he might

25:00

be retired now. Anyway, he was bragging

25:02

about us about you and her, our

25:04

whole group of girls. Oh, he was.

25:06

First year of teaching. Oh wow. And

25:08

he used to call me Padman. Oh

25:10

he did. Yeah. He was so cool.

25:12

We loved him. Loved him. Mr. Tourny,

25:14

shout out. Anyway, it was cool. And

25:16

it was a ding, ding, ding. Or

25:18

dingles. Ready for Patrick? Patrick. There's nothing

25:21

like getting your teacher's approval. There's

25:23

something so specific

25:26

about of being the best.

25:29

In the class. It's funny. I would say I don't

25:31

agree, but I do. I got it from so few

25:33

teachers, but the ones that gave it to me did

25:35

change my life. Yeah. They

25:38

just have so many people to pick from. And

25:40

if they pick you, hot.

25:43

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. We

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are supported by Viator. Now,

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Monica, I'm going to Lisbon.

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Viator. This episode is brought to you

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to learn more. ["Jurzy

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Mikes Theme Song"] Hello.

28:24

Hi. Hello, we can't see you. We can't see

28:26

you. Oh no. We can't

28:28

see a weird camera with a line through it.

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It's an emoji. Yeah. It's

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an icon. Yeah. You can try

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signing off and back in and see if that helps. Okay, let

28:37

me try that. Okay. Okay, cool. So

28:39

I could tell a story about my father now. It's

28:43

parent-teacher conference related. Okay.

28:45

There was a point where they

28:48

thought my brother had some kind of

28:50

developmental behavioral stuff. I don't know what the

28:52

accusation was. The principal wanted to see

28:54

both my mom and my dad, and

28:56

my dad was furious about this. There's

28:58

nothing wrong with David. I'm not coming in.

29:00

Similarly, he worked like an hour away

29:02

from where the school was. So he

29:04

came in and they sit down in

29:06

this conference and it

29:08

starts with the principal saying, what do

29:11

you both do for a living? And my

29:13

dad looked right at him and said, she's a

29:15

prostitute and I'm her pimp. No,

29:17

he did not. He did. I mean, that

29:19

was my dad. We get Laura to tell

29:21

the story. She was just like, Jesus Christ,

29:23

where do we go from here? Yeah. He

29:27

was just so fed up. He was basically just

29:29

saying, fuck you. I'm not

29:31

cooperating with this. I'm not gonna play my role

29:33

in you telling me there's something wrong with my

29:36

son. Whoa. So interesting. Parents are

29:38

so different. Hey! There you

29:40

are! Hey! Love it. We

29:42

did it. I'm so glad we get

29:44

to see you. Me too. We look identical.

29:46

Okay, last annoying question. Do you happen to

29:48

have ear buds? I do. Just

29:50

give me a second. Okay, great. We could be brothers,

29:52

huh? Me and Patrick? I could see it. Bros.

29:55

Bros before hos. I love this. We're getting

29:57

a tour of Patrick's house. Yeah, this is always fun for us.

32:00

he kind of let us do our own thing for the rest of

32:02

the class. I befriended a

32:04

kid in my class who was also not

32:06

a big basketball fan. And with the freedom

32:08

we had in gym, we got into a

32:10

little bit of trouble. We like to skip

32:12

class, you know, smoke cigarettes and the baseball

32:15

dugout and whatnot. Yeah, wonderful. Because the gym

32:17

coach presumably would be distracted by running drills

32:19

and you'd be milling about the gym and

32:21

you would just sneak out a side door

32:23

and fucking who would know? Totally. I've been

32:26

there. So we did that for a while.

32:28

I didn't think it was too big of

32:30

a deal. We never got caught. But then

32:32

parent-teacher conference time came around and my gym

32:34

teacher wanted to have a conference with my

32:36

mom. This was the only teacher who wanted

32:39

a conference with my parents. Haha. And

32:43

I'm like, well, what could this be about?

32:45

If I was going to be in trouble

32:47

for skipping gym and screwing around, I figured

32:50

that would have already happened. Right. So she

32:52

goes in, she comes home that night and

32:54

I'm nervous about what's going to happen. And

32:56

she says, Coach is worried about somebody you're

32:58

hanging out with in gym. She thinks he's

33:01

a bad influence on you. He's just concerned.

33:04

I was highly defensive. I was wanting to

33:06

be independent and not feel judged about who

33:08

I was choosing for friends and what I

33:10

wanted to do in school. And I'm telling

33:12

my mom, you know, this kid's a good

33:15

kid, mom. He just comes from a broken

33:17

home and you know, really

33:19

landed on. I was

33:21

like, mom, I think I could be a good influence

33:23

on him. I don't think he's a bad influence on

33:25

me. That was judo. You took

33:27

their momentum and used it against them. That

33:29

was really good. Oh yeah. That was enough

33:32

for her. She's like, okay, well don't get

33:34

in trouble. And I was like, of course

33:36

not. I would never. Meanwhile, I'm skipping school

33:38

smoking cigarettes, all that other stuff. It was

33:40

the kids cigarettes I'm imagining. Oh yeah, for

33:42

sure. Marlboro red. Definitely was a bad influence.

33:44

Objectively not a great influence. He was a

33:46

bit of a bad boy. You know, he

33:48

was wearing motorcycle boots and black jeans to

33:50

gym class. Oh yeah. I

33:52

thought he was super cool though. He was.

33:54

I'm a teacher. I don't like he's definitely

33:56

judging a book by its cover. Well, no,

33:58

the kid is up to. no good skipping

34:00

and smoking just because he doesn't look like

34:02

the other basketball kids. I agree with you

34:04

in that if he was wearing like an

34:06

eyes odd sweater that was pink probably wouldn't

34:08

have been like that's a bad influence. Yeah

34:10

would have slid through the crack. Me being

34:12

14 years old I thought for sure he

34:14

was judging and I didn't want any part

34:17

of it. Yeah. So second half of the

34:19

school year I no longer had Jim and

34:21

I didn't have any classes with this kid

34:23

anymore. We were still friendly at school but

34:25

I wasn't really hanging out one

34:27

night I get home I turn on the TV and

34:29

the local news was on and

34:31

the story that pops up is local

34:34

teen friend and mother

34:36

arrested for murder. Local

34:40

teen friend and mother.

34:42

Oh my god.

34:45

Friend. I'm

34:49

watching this news story and they

34:51

show the first picture who was

34:53

the quote unquote local teen and

34:56

I was like holy shit this kid goes to

34:58

my school. I didn't know this guy. I was

35:00

like wow that's amazing. I kind of forget over

35:03

the weekend. I go back to school thinking everybody's

35:05

going to be talking about this. I

35:07

found out the friend in this

35:10

local story was my gym class

35:12

friend. Right. Right. I'm shocked by

35:15

the story. Rumors are going back

35:17

and forth. I didn't really get

35:19

a full grasp of what happened

35:21

other than the aforementioned teen. It

35:23

was his father that they killed.

35:27

So the teenager and his mother killed

35:29

his father and my gym class friend

35:31

assisted in some way. Oh my god.

35:33

Accomplice after the fact or before the

35:35

fact. Okay. Holy shit. Well that father

35:38

was probably abusive. Well here's what's really

35:40

sad of course is mom and son

35:42

generally only killed dad when he's beating

35:44

the fuck out of everybody. Right and

35:46

that was the story that I had

35:49

heard. I didn't know what was true

35:51

and what was rumor but that is

35:53

what I heard. So after I got

35:55

over the initial shock of this story

35:57

in general that two people I went

36:00

to school with, were being charged with murder, I

36:03

immediately thought, I need to keep this

36:05

news story from my mom. Okay,

36:08

okay. I think she's

36:10

gonna retroactively. I cannot let

36:12

her think that I was making bad

36:15

choices and friends after I thoroughly defended

36:17

myself that I was being a good

36:19

influence on the bad kids. Minimally, you

36:21

failed at your task. No, I think

36:23

you were a good influence. Oh, because

36:25

he didn't murder anyone while they were

36:27

friends. Right, and then the gym class

36:29

ended. And then he murdered.

36:31

That's a really solid argument. I think

36:33

you were right. I like this angle. I

36:36

know. See, mom? I don't wanna get dark,

36:38

but. I feel bad. This easily

36:40

could have been Aaron and I's story. That

36:42

was not out of reach with the violent

36:44

dude in his life, for sure. Well, I'm

36:46

glad it wasn't your story. Me too. I

36:49

could have been the friend though. He was a

36:51

victim of bad influence. It wasn't really that he

36:53

was a bad influence. I love this guy. I

36:56

kinda do too. What happened to them all? So

36:58

they all went to jail. The

37:00

mother, the son, and my friend. I don't know the

37:02

full details, but about 10 years ago, another

37:05

classmate of mine who I hadn't talked to in

37:07

a long time emailed me out of nowhere and

37:10

just said, so and so is out of

37:12

prison. That's all the message that I believe

37:14

that the son and the mother got a

37:17

much heavier sense. Wow. Yeah.

37:20

Oh man. This could easily be a

37:22

documentary we would watch and we would be like,

37:24

I can't believe they put them in jail. This

37:26

guy was gonna kill them if they didn't kill

37:28

the guy. We don't really know the full details,

37:30

but I'm inclined to think that was it. I

37:33

would imagine so. Did you grow up in rural

37:35

Ohio? Right in Columbus. Okay. This just

37:37

feels so much like a Michigan story. I had

37:39

a couple different classmates that committed murder before it

37:41

was all said and done. In LA, I don't

37:44

see kids killing adults. It just seems rarer. That's

37:46

not true. The Menendez brothers were here. But they

37:48

were like 24, 26. Oh,

37:51

when they killed, they were- They were out of

37:53

college. Oh, I thought they were younger. Anyway- Sorry,

37:56

Patrick. No, that's fine. So

37:58

as far as I know, I was- able to

38:00

keep that story from my mom to this day.

38:02

And as far as she knows, I was a

38:04

good influence on this kid and he turned out

38:07

to be a great guy. And

38:09

maybe he did. He might have.

38:11

Yeah. This is upsetting. Wow, man. That's

38:14

some heavy stuff for high school. You flip

38:17

on the news and you see two guys

38:19

you see in the hallway all the time.

38:21

Yeah. It was quite a culture shock coming

38:23

from a very small private middle school. This

38:25

was one of the first real friends I

38:27

made at school within the year. He was

38:29

in jail. Oh, it's very crazy. I'm

38:33

presuming none of your subsequent friends ever

38:35

stood trial for murder. Definitely not murder.

38:37

Sure. Some other petty stuff. Maybe. Oh

38:40

yeah. I do have some delinquent friends.

38:43

Yeah. Don't we all, they're most interesting. Oh, Patrick,

38:45

that was a great story. Thank you for telling

38:47

us that. Oh, thank you. It

38:49

was a pleasure meeting you guys. I would like to

38:51

shout out my wife who could not be here to

38:53

say hi, but she helped me with the computer setup

38:55

and I don't know if I should be thanking her

38:57

at this point without the technical difficulty. Okay.

39:01

What's her name? Cara. You know, I

39:03

don't think I'd ever met a Cara.

39:05

Now I know like four. That's a

39:07

pretty name. Yeah, it is pretty. And

39:09

our favorite hotel is Cara Cara, but

39:11

probably spelled the same, right? C-A-R-A. That's

39:14

right. Nice. Well, Cara, Cara, all the

39:16

C-A-R-A's. Cara, Cara your wife, Cara the

39:18

hotel. Shout out to both. And you

39:20

go by Patrick, right? Oh yeah, absolutely.

39:22

Well, Patrick, great

39:24

meeting you and thanks so much for

39:26

telling us that story. All right. Take

39:29

care, brother. Yeah. Wow. I feel

39:31

sad. Yeah. Yeah. We

39:34

should really heartbreaking. Yeah. No one should

39:36

be forced to make that decision

39:38

as a kid. The mom, including the son,

39:40

like all of it, it's just all upsetting.

39:42

I really want to know the circumstance now.

39:44

I definitely see how it could happen if

39:46

it was mid abuse, right?

39:49

And they both rose up. But then how would

39:51

the friend, unless he was over playing, they're like

39:54

panicked. They need to get rid of the body.

39:56

Who knows what happens after that? Look at Robert

39:58

Durst. That poor guy had to cut that. No,

40:00

we're not saying that at all. You

40:03

never did have a cigarette in high school, did you? I've never

40:06

smoked one ever. That one ever. That

40:08

even drunk once took a drag? Nah. I

40:10

don't know. You know who you are.

40:12

Doesn't seem interesting. Hi. Hi.

40:15

How are you? I'm so excited to

40:17

be talking to you guys. This feels unreal. Because

40:19

I'm a teacher and telling a story about parents,

40:21

I feel like I shouldn't use my real name.

40:23

Okay, great. Oh, yeah. Well, then let's go

40:26

with Monica. Perfect. We'll

40:28

say it as for today. Great.

40:30

So Monica, you are still actively a teacher. I'm

40:33

so confused. All right. You want me to

40:35

pick another name? Dax. Oh my God. No,

40:37

we can't sit with Monica. Are you in

40:40

a break room? I am a teacher. Today

40:42

is field day. Today's the last day of

40:44

school. And I, 20 minutes

40:46

ago was in the dunk tank. So

40:48

I'm like fresh out of a dunk tank to

40:50

talk to you guys. Talk about it. You're

40:52

such a fun teacher. Ding, ding, ding Monica.

40:55

I am volunteering on Monday for their field

40:57

day and I'll be operating first the bouncy

40:59

house and then some kind of football coin

41:01

tossy thing. I don't know. Those

41:03

are the good ones. They finagle a bunch of

41:05

teachers to being in the dunk tank. Oh, yeah.

41:07

And I usually say like, it has to be

41:09

above 75 degrees for me

41:11

to go in. And I'm going to be honest. I only do

41:13

it on yours. I like my class a lot. Okay, good. As

41:15

you should. And so what kind of weather did you

41:17

have today? Was it warm? Yeah, it's like 76 and

41:19

sunny. Oh, perfect. By

41:22

the time I'm in the dunk tank, it's

41:24

like halfway through the day. So there's kind

41:26

of like a layer of gross film of

41:28

sunscreen. Oh, yeah. Okay.

41:31

It's not great. They do let us pick what kids are

41:33

going to try to throw. So I usually start by being

41:35

like, remind me, who plays baseball? And then they were saying

41:38

like, okay, so none of you. I

41:41

try to look first, maybe like unathletic

41:43

kids. Sure. And what percentage

41:45

of the kids hit the target?

41:47

I had three go today and only one

41:49

hit the target. Each teacher gets dunked if you're

41:51

volunteering to go in. Okay, so what

41:53

year does this parent teacher story

41:56

take place? This is my 17th year

41:58

teaching. So this was maybe three or four. four

42:00

years ago. So you've been at it for a while.

42:02

You were a pro at this point. For a while.

42:04

Yeah. Parent-teacher conferences are always really stressful, though, even if

42:06

you've done it forever. But our school, they're just in

42:09

10 minute chunks. And if you get behind, you're behind

42:11

for the rest of the day. Yeah. And is it

42:13

safe to assume each parent would prefer to talk about

42:15

their child for an hour? I mean, it depends. There's

42:17

some parents who come in. I start with someone like,

42:19

so they've got A's and everything. You've got a real

42:22

monster of a kid. I don't know what you guys

42:24

are doing. And then they're like, yeah, sounds good. Oh,

42:26

that's best case, right? And then they stand up and

42:28

leave and you can have a coffee and a cigarette.

42:30

I mean, honestly, at that point, it's like I finally

42:32

get to go pee. And there are some parents who

42:35

are great. There's a mom at our school. Her kids

42:37

graduated now, but she was notorious for like she'd sit

42:39

down and she would just throw a box of cookies

42:41

at you. Oh, yeah. And she

42:43

would just be like, today's probably sucks for you guys. Sorry. Then

42:46

if you did have to be like, so listen, your kid

42:48

is. And she was like, yeah, I know that's my kid. They're

42:51

a mess. What are we going to do? Yeah. So this

42:53

was a couple of years ago. I

42:55

was teaching the younger sibling. I taught the older kid

42:58

also. So I like had known the parents. We had

43:00

good rapport. It was a pretty good kid. I thought

43:02

this is going to be an easy 10 minutes. I

43:05

start off by just going, Jill is really great.

43:07

All the glowing things. And the mom just goes,

43:09

OK, that's great. Can I ask

43:11

you a question about her older sister? When

43:13

had like two or three years before. And I

43:16

said, I don't see her a lot. Like our

43:18

building is really separated. She's in a different floor.

43:20

Sure. And she just goes, did you

43:22

ever get a vibe that she's like autistic or something?

43:25

Oh, boy. I just went, um, I

43:27

didn't. But, you know, I mean, it's

43:29

been a few years. Oh, the way

43:31

that phrase. Did you get a vibe?

43:33

It's so funny. The mom was super

43:35

casual about it, too. When I was

43:37

like, oh, and then I

43:39

said, you know, there are some people you could talk

43:41

to, though, if those were concerns. And the mom pulled

43:43

out like a pencil and went, oh, who? And I

43:45

said, well, her current teachers would be like a really

43:47

good start. Maybe

43:49

like a pediatrician, someone other than someone who maybe

43:52

knew her a few years ago. And then the

43:54

mom's like, oh, OK. And then just pauses. And

43:56

then says the thing you probably never want to

43:58

hear in a parent teacher conference. which is, can

44:00

I ask you something personal? Oh no. Oh,

44:04

wow. And I'm like, sure. Let's

44:06

take a second on that. Us teachers are

44:08

people pleasers. Yes. Sure, sure, sure, sure. But

44:10

there are these obligatory questions and it's really

44:12

funny because I don't think in all of

44:14

history anyone has said no because I don't

44:17

know why I was fantasizing just the other

44:19

night laying in bed. What if someone said

44:21

to me, can I say something that might

44:23

be offensive? I would, most of

44:25

my life go like, yeah, yeah, go ahead. And

44:27

then I was just thinking I might now at

44:29

this age go like, oh no, I

44:32

would rather not hear something. But I think

44:34

we would all say yes. Students will come up all the time.

44:36

They're like, can I ask you a question? And I'm like, I

44:38

don't know. Now I'm like, maybe we'll see. Yeah, that's the answer.

44:40

Or some of them now go, well, it depends what your question

44:42

is. If you're out in the world and you go like, I

44:44

have a question and people will go like, well, there's no such

44:46

thing as a dumb question. And I go like, I'm a teacher.

44:48

There are millions of them. Sure. So this

44:50

mom goes, can I ask you a personal

44:53

question? And she just goes, I know that

44:55

you're also losing your hair and I'm wondering

44:57

if you have any tips. What? No.

45:00

Wait, what? As a moment

45:02

where I had to have in my head the

45:06

fastest back and forth, do I just roll

45:08

with this to not make her uncomfortable? Do

45:11

I like correct her? And

45:14

again, people pleaser. And I went,

45:17

no tips. Is

45:20

it safe to assume you yourself did not think you

45:22

were losing your hair? Cause we're talking to you now

45:24

and you have a ton of hair. Your hair looks

45:27

totally great. It's soaking wet right now from the dunk

45:29

tank. And then in my head, I'm like, am I

45:31

losing my hair? Like I had a couple years ago.

45:33

And then the mom just goes, it's just so hard.

45:35

Google is so hard. And I went, well, yeah, you

45:37

know, Google it's a real wormhole. You gotta be careful.

45:39

And I'm thinking we're past it. And we're talking about

45:41

the daughter again. And I'm like, oh, you know, she's

45:43

a real delight. I love her. She's got a lot

45:45

of hair. It's great. It must come from

45:47

dad. I don't know. And then the mom just goes,

45:50

well, have you ever tried and then says the name

45:52

of like a prescription drug for hair loss. What is

45:54

going on? So at this point, I

45:56

feel like I have to correct her. And I

45:58

just went, I'm so sorry. I think you've been

46:01

misinformed. I'm not actually losing my

46:03

hair. Okay, good. At that point you told

46:05

her the bad news. You're not listening to her? Bad

46:08

news, sorry. There was like no,

46:11

oh, this is a weird moment on her face. She just

46:13

goes, oh, yeah, okay. Okay.

46:15

And all sympathy for people who are

46:17

losing, like I have two family members

46:19

with alopecia. Yeah. It's stressful. So on

46:22

parent-teacher conference days, when the staff all gets together for

46:24

lunch, there's always like, oh, who had a crazy story?

46:26

And I was like, hey, real quick, before

46:28

we get into it, am I losing my hair and no one

46:30

telling me? And they were

46:32

like, what? So I tell them that and

46:35

everyone's like, that's insane. So our fall conferences

46:37

are in November. So then mid January, the

46:39

daughter of this parent comes to school and

46:41

is like, oh, I have a belated Christmas

46:44

present for you. Oh my God. No

46:46

one ever needs to get teachers a present,

46:48

but she has in a gift bag and

46:50

the kid's like, I don't even really know

46:52

what it is. And the mom had gotten

46:54

me a really large bottle of CBD shampoo.

46:56

Stop. Okay. So like maybe that

46:59

is a thing that helps, I don't know.

47:01

And then a, I had

47:03

to explain this one to my husband a lot cause

47:05

he didn't understand why it wasn't like a good gift.

47:07

Yeah. It was like one of those prepackaged, if you

47:09

weren't looking closely, you'd be like, oh, that's like, I

47:11

don't know, what did they used to sell? Bath and

47:13

body works. Bath and body works, like a lotion and

47:16

a soap and like all in one thing.

47:18

With the cellophane. But it was a cellophane

47:20

box wrap of anti-aging creams. Oh. Oh

47:25

my Lord. Oh Lord.

47:28

My husband was like, I mean, it's like a nice gift. And

47:30

I said, I would never buy this for anyone. Yeah.

47:32

That would be like me just bringing

47:34

in erectile dysfunction medication for a male

47:36

teacher of my children. I know you

47:38

need this. Enjoy. It

47:40

was bizarre. And then a couple of years later, they asked

47:42

me to write a letter of recommendation for their kid and

47:44

the kids. Fantastic. I'm going to put a

47:46

positive spin on this. You ready? I'm ready. Okay.

47:49

So I had a family member who was coming out

47:51

as gay to several people. And

47:53

in the process of doing that, would also

47:55

tell them that I too was gay. And

47:58

that was fine. I didn't mind

48:00

that that was happening. But then it got to

48:02

me like very tangentially, like someone who had met

48:04

this person. Eventually I had to say like, look,

48:06

I don't mind that you were saying that, but

48:08

I think you could actually create a rumor that

48:10

might pick up some steam in the press. So

48:13

maybe we'll just stop. But my most generous

48:16

takeaway from that was, this person looked

48:18

up to me and if I had something they

48:20

had, it wouldn't be that bad. And so in

48:22

maybe some weird way, she just

48:24

thought it's very comforting that this woman who's

48:26

got her stuff together and is a gangster

48:29

is wrestling with this stuff. I mean, it

48:31

may be somehow like that. Like she would

48:33

have felt less embarrassed because someone cool also

48:35

was wrestling with that. But hair loss is

48:37

such a specific thing because you can see

48:39

your hair. But you're just projecting whatever thing

48:41

you are struggling with. We were trying to

48:43

guess at school, like where did she get

48:45

this from? And kids will pick up and

48:47

say weird things. So we were like, was

48:49

there a day that maybe I said, you

48:51

guys are gonna make me rip my hair

48:54

out? And like the kid took that to

48:56

be like, oh, my teacher's

48:58

going bald because of us. But I mean,

49:00

that one stood out as the weirdest. I

49:02

had a parent sit down for a conference

49:04

and pull out from their pocket. Not one,

49:06

not two, but four phones. One of which

49:08

was a house phone. This was

49:11

like 15 years ago. I'm

49:13

like, set them all down on my table. I was like, okay, we're ready

49:15

to talk now. Are you expecting a call in

49:17

your home? Oh,

49:20

wow. I think I'm

49:23

gonna do that at my next parent teacher. Bring

49:25

up six, seven phones. I think prop work is

49:27

important in a parent teacher conference. If nothing else,

49:29

just make some novel experience in their day. And

49:31

this is the part of the interview room so

49:33

I'm supposed to tell you guys, I'm not supposed

49:35

to do what I'm going to. I'm a day

49:37

one listener. I

49:40

was nine months pregnant in February

49:42

of 2018 when you guys started

49:44

and I was never sleeping and listened

49:46

to them all, listened through my next

49:48

pregnancy. I had my second kid during

49:50

COVID where you're stuck in the house

49:52

and I had a toddler and a

49:54

newborn and some crazy postpartum everything. And

49:56

you guys really helped. Thank you. And

49:58

then this is... where people are like,

50:00

my spouse loves you so much. And

50:03

can they say hi, but I'm at school. And

50:05

my husband was like, well, can I come to school? And I said,

50:07

no, you can't. But

50:10

my work spouse is

50:12

in the room. Also an

50:14

arm cherry and she's from Michigan.

50:16

Hi. Hi,

50:18

Michigander. Nice to meet you. Nice to

50:20

meet you. Where are you from in

50:22

Michigan? I'm from Bloomfield Hills. Fancy. Close

50:25

by. I've heard that's fancy. I don't

50:27

know. I got the hell out of there. As

50:30

fast as I could. It was a nice

50:32

place to grow up. Did you get dunked

50:34

today? Yeah, that's why my hair is like

50:36

greased back on top of my head. You

50:38

teachers, you put up with a lot. We

50:40

do put up with a lot. Arguably too

50:42

much. Well, it's nice meeting both of you.

50:45

Yeah, you too. I'm gonna pass the AirPods

50:47

back. So Monica, you have both been in

50:50

communal water and now you've had communal earbuds.

50:52

So congratulations. Yeah, well, work partners. We're together

50:54

constantly and dealing with kids doing weird things.

50:56

So it's like she's not my husband, but

50:59

she is. She is. Except for today, you'll

51:01

notice we're in different colors because we're on

51:03

different teams for field day. And in a

51:06

little bit, my class is gonna go beat

51:08

hers at tug of war. Oh, wow. The

51:11

marriage is gonna be tested. It will be, but it's the last day

51:13

of school. We'll have the summer to get over it. Okay,

51:16

well, great meeting you. Enjoy your summer.

51:18

You guys were so fun. And you're

51:20

welcome for the company during the pregnancies.

51:22

It makes us so happy to hear

51:24

that. And thank you for listening from

51:26

day one. It's really, really special to

51:28

us. Thank you guys so much. Have

51:30

a good day. Take care. Bye.

51:33

She had a real cute wave. She did dancing

51:35

fingers. That's not one you ever do, is it?

51:37

No, I don't do that. Bye-bye. I had breakfast

51:40

with Nate yesterday at Clark Street. I'm actually saying

51:42

the name correctly. I'm glad to be long enough.

51:44

I'm not proud of that. I came in one

51:46

entrance and he was at the other when he

51:49

saw each other from across the room. And I

51:51

had the funnest playful wave with him. And there

51:53

was a lot of finger dancing. Oh, wow. Yeah.

51:57

Did you see anything new in the room while I was telling you that story?

52:00

I love Sonos I see that I'm excited about. I

52:02

love Sonos. Me too. Well those

52:04

were fun. So fun. I really like

52:06

that. Teachers, as we know, are heroes.

52:08

You know what's funny is clearly it's a

52:10

beat down for them, but I don't like going

52:12

either. I don't think anyone likes it. I

52:15

don't think anyone likes it, but I do think it can

52:17

be pretty important. Of course. Yeah. But

52:20

so is paying taxes, you know. Sure.

52:23

Sure, sure, sure. All right. Love

52:25

you. Love you. Do you want to sing

52:27

a tune or something? I wonder what the theme song is. Oh.

52:30

Okay, great. We

52:32

don't have a theme song for

52:34

this new show, so here I

52:37

go, go, go. We're gonna ask

52:39

some random questions, and with the

52:41

help of our cherries, we'll get

52:44

some suggestions. On

52:47

the fly-a-rime dish, on

52:49

the fly-a-rime dish. Enjoy.