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terms at mintmobile.com. So,

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Hey, so I was up near Ali Pali

0:49

in North London last Thursday. Oh, yeah. I

0:51

actually just went up so I could pop

0:53

into slaughters because I knew Adrian, Adrian Lewis'

0:55

darts player would be in there. Yeah, yeah,

0:58

he usually is there, isn't he? Yeah, it's

1:00

his regular day. You see, he's had a

1:02

falling out with Ron Crags. And

1:04

Ron is away doing community service on Thursday. Oh,

1:06

right. That's whenever... So I snuck in. Tiff as

1:09

the... Yeah. Got a

1:11

table and listened to in on Adrian and the waiter

1:13

like I always do. You know what I mean? This

1:15

is how it went. Good

1:17

day to you once again, sir. And

1:20

welcome to this, the Hanging

1:22

Gardens of Chrisley Fook. Oh,

1:26

oh, what, what have you got

1:28

in that dirty, dirty cookery hole

1:30

for me today? Well, for starters,

1:32

we have a triple bullied Rood

1:34

Kael Blatler. Oh, Rood Kael Ruhr.

1:36

Oh, fuck me. I

1:38

can feel the lengthy squirt coming on already.

1:40

Is it garnished with anything? Of course it's

1:43

fucking that. You can glance at a photo

1:45

of a leaf if you start a feel

1:47

unusual, though. All right. A safety net. I

1:49

like it. I like it. Well, we don't

1:51

want, sir, slipping into a meat coma, do

1:54

we? This is why I keep coming back.

1:56

Now, what else have you got? You might

1:58

like to try a person. It's dead

2:00

as survey. What the fuck is that?

2:02

Well it's at home. I'm massive ball

2:05

of ox dripping sir. Oh

2:07

fuck right off you crafty bastard. No

2:09

you fuck off. How do I consume

2:11

said ox ball of a fork? No

2:13

you just sit up straight, nice straight

2:16

back and I fire it in your

2:18

face with a pop gun. Oh and

2:20

can I get it doused in raw gravy

2:22

first? I'd bust that request on the chef

2:25

for you here twat. Right let's get onto

2:27

the mains. Right well

2:29

we've got hand lizard or

2:31

spray accompanied by a

2:33

tiny bungalow made from oven

2:36

shrunk dinosaur feathers. Fuck yes

2:38

that's the meal of a powerful man who

2:40

does not give a fuck about any of

2:42

the consequences. Put that in

2:44

me and I'll stride around like the...

2:46

around the dark circuit like a Japanese

2:48

emperor. Wait oh you could

2:51

say and this is a ripe

2:53

old heap of unwanted fuck. One

2:56

good hamster dad dished up with a

2:58

tiny heap of bush food. Fuck that's

3:00

a G hamsters. That's a bit near

3:03

the knuckle you fucking asshole. Sir fucking

3:06

sorry about that. If

3:08

it's any consolation sir the hamsters were

3:10

on the bits. Alright I'll go on

3:12

then. Go on then plate it up and I can

3:15

write a blog about it tonight after I've slept on

3:17

it. I believe in you

3:19

sir. I really fucking do. Oh

3:21

thank you. How about a

3:23

dessert? What have you got that'll drench

3:26

this man nappy that I'm sporting? Perhaps

3:28

sir would like to chance his arm

3:30

with a pack of ten edible cigarettes.

3:32

Their passion from kiwi, jim, and

3:35

these finkers and stuff with bold

3:37

clemities. Fucker doodle doodle Andy I

3:39

can see myself struggling to expel those

3:41

bastards for the next month. Anything

3:43

to go with it though sir? Yes

3:45

just the usual tankard of hot meat

3:48

juice and a side dish of trotters

3:50

you magnificent fucker. Very good sir. I'll

3:52

bring a bison's gallbladder for your sunburn

3:54

it's your attack as well. And get

3:56

her fucking fart on before I start

3:59

ingesting this now. happy. And that

4:01

Andrew was it. That was

4:03

my trip to Slaughters. Lovely

4:06

stuff. Did you enjoy it? I

4:08

did. He's gone a little bit

4:11

from enjoying it. I suppose

4:14

one day there will be consequences of

4:16

you doing that voice. Probably

4:19

one day down the line. Maybe I'll just

4:21

grow old with a kind of a sexy

4:23

Barry White voice. Maybe. We've got Barry's body

4:25

anyway already. Very good. Oh,

4:31

so Andy, I was

4:33

up near Alexander Palace last week.

4:35

So I passed by Slaughters. So

4:37

Hobbs as it were, OBVS. I

4:40

popped in. It's nice, isn't it? Very nice.

4:42

So Adrian Lewis had just arrived before. Well,

4:44

I don't know if Adrian Lewis was already

4:46

there. And he was just being seated.

4:48

So I sat down in the booth next to him and

4:51

I had a good old listen. All right. This is how

4:53

it went. Good afternoon, sir.

4:55

I was like finding you

4:57

today. Oh, cut the

4:59

small talk. It's like busted and get me

5:01

fed the fuck up. Of

5:03

course, sir. So fucking

5:05

sorry, sir. Make

5:07

yourself comfortable. Open up your gullet

5:10

and allow us to take you

5:12

on a magical fuckery to it.

5:14

Yeah. Oh, yes, you filthy meaty.

5:18

By the time we're done for you, your

5:20

large intestine will be so full and

5:23

I think you did not include some

5:25

other decamp. Oh, fuck.

5:27

What have you got for a starter

5:29

today? I recommend the soup, sir.

5:31

It's made from the bulldog

5:34

gastric juices of a panna

5:36

with some fruit. Flies, guys.

5:38

Fruit. Fruit. Um,

5:41

yes, it's the good reason for the

5:43

flies. Nothing you're wearing at all. It's no good.

5:45

I can't hear it. Put me down for some

5:47

of that. Does it come in a ball or

5:49

in a book? Book, sir.

5:51

Excellent. If you order it in advance,

5:54

we're going to have it pumped straight

5:56

up your day in the spring. You're

5:58

right. Oh, I like that sound. over

6:00

that you two act. And how about

6:02

young men did it? Hang on,

6:04

hang on, hold your horses what's that

6:06

abonable smell coming from the kitchen? I

6:09

fancy a bit of whatever that is. Oh that's

6:12

not gonna do with a menu

6:14

sir. Ron Cragga's personal physician is

6:17

here changing Ron's bandages for him.

6:19

Ron's giving his wounds a bit

6:21

of an area at the moment.

6:23

Oh well dip some white bread in it and

6:26

I'll have that on the side. As you wish

6:28

sir. Right well good truth Jesus

6:30

for the means we attended. The

6:32

hormone fuel tips of a koala

6:34

bear. Slower roosted in a pair

6:36

of monkey milkins. Oh stop you

6:38

that I am there. You've got

6:40

me. What flavour were the hormones?

6:42

Oh I'll have it. And whatever

6:44

the other thing is because the

6:46

koala tips don't sound very filling.

6:48

The next option too is some

6:50

herbs. Tell me more. Let's

6:53

just fucking hose man. What do you need

6:55

to know? True, true. Tell you what I'm

6:57

in a bit of a hurry. Just mush

6:59

it all up in a carrier bag and

7:01

I'll wear the bucket around me neck as I

7:03

go about my business. Very good sir. And

7:06

then just then Ron Cragga's he came out

7:08

flying out of the kitchen and asking if

7:11

anyone wanted to lick him so I'd

7:13

just made a sharp exit. Do you think

7:15

I were right to do that? I

7:17

think he's the right thing. You don't want

7:19

to be offered a good little lick on

7:21

Ron Cragga's wounds. As

7:26

you probably know it's International Restaurant

7:28

Week and I'm joined in the

7:30

studio today by one of the

7:32

country's most celebrated chefs. None other

7:35

than Ron Cragga's. Hello Ron. I

7:38

don't know why a lot of them were

7:41

exactly amazing. Wonderful.

7:44

Thanks for coming along. Now

7:46

you're the resident chef at Sloater's

7:49

Meat Restaurant near Alexandra Palace. Would

7:51

you say you have an overarching

7:53

philosophy in your work there? Yeah.

7:55

Well, what are you saying? I

7:58

suppose I'm wondering if you could just... describe your work

8:00

or dare I say your craft in a

8:03

single line Ron what would it be? I'm

8:05

trying to get inside my head I'm

8:08

going to quack, quack, duck, duck, duck,

8:10

duck man I just cut

8:12

meat all day just in tight like,

8:15

eh hot, not too hot

8:17

Sunt and not even cooked

8:19

I gotta f***ing stop So

8:22

it's like, it's almost like a calling

8:24

it's like your life's mission Look man,

8:26

I just cut what comes in I

8:29

blow up jocks and off at half nine

8:31

and I cut what ever's in the bucket

8:33

Hot girls boil up my chaser

8:36

glow send you hopes with me

8:38

man Uh, are you

8:40

a scholar of any of the culinary

8:43

pioneers? What you talking about?

8:45

Yes, you know I got started

8:47

I used to flag dead wax

8:49

down the three sheets and chuck them in

8:52

a vase of hell My

8:54

large eleven, you can f***ing stare at

8:57

a vase for the hours man who

8:59

loves himself Do

9:01

you socialise with any of the top

9:03

chefs in London Ron? Are there any

9:05

kindred spirits on the scene? I'd rather

9:08

be f***ing friendly or something What's the

9:10

question John? Well maybe you should tell

9:12

me about me, I like it Send?

9:15

No Ron Right, meat restaurants

9:17

are almost derry girl these days as a

9:19

man who's worked solely in meat for decades

9:22

now Do you feel a sense of responsibility?

9:24

Derry girl? Who the f*** are you? What

9:28

the f*** are you all on about? Are you

9:30

creating a f***ing fish out of me? Do

9:32

you want me to come over there? And

9:34

wrap me tender as there will be a f***ing

9:36

break No, sorry, sorry

9:38

Ron, no offence intended Right, look

9:40

hang on, hold on, while I

9:42

just loath in this bondage It's

9:45

giving me life f***ing bollock Oh

9:47

Jesus Christ no Oh

9:50

that's... That's a bit... The

9:53

ooze can come up now, lovely Ron!

9:58

Ron Croz, thank you I'm

10:06

know who put. The only police if. I'm

10:09

watching whether that's that it. I swear

10:11

it was odd years and will jump

10:13

ship says on and obviously hasn't checked

10:15

in. a slow us and I have

10:17

a look at their Christmas. many have

10:19

some play nods nice Seattle so last

10:21

on it cost Asians they're sitting in

10:23

the throne like Christmas you throw them

10:25

in for is making here is under

10:27

Reagan I reckon. Anyway I sat down

10:30

in the booth by the door. okay

10:32

and are in the and this is

10:34

basically what idea. Era goes. Well.

10:36

With the most of so, it's tiring and

10:39

a fast. And

10:41

I'm very sad and our senses

10:43

when it. Struck

10:47

me and and rom iraq so my

10:50

face whole allow us to the chew

10:52

on a sneer. I hoped to have

10:54

said that of that throttle sort of

10:57

back at. Always. Act

11:00

way. Around.

11:05

It. Feels

11:08

like see him Universal app Be

11:10

like cod Sure it's path to

11:12

actually be from the child. Skyn

11:14

affects your. On

11:17

I'd miss. It

11:20

feels right Isn't just. A Christmas

11:23

as it's. Assets.

11:26

What's on this Christmas menu and you

11:28

have. Slashed status.

11:38

Of. Stuff

11:44

with. A beast

11:46

it struck me as since. And

11:48

what about applying case of not

11:50

at liberty to divulge about. Santa

11:54

Clauses got. One as as has been

11:57

an L S christmas of have been

11:59

me that. I'll have a side

12:01

order of fried bread in a separate bed. I

12:03

will tell you, me and the court with it as well, sir.

12:06

Of course I would. Who do you think I

12:08

am? Fucking Nigel Fucking Slade. As

12:11

you'll forget, sir. The man is

12:13

turkey with olive trimmins. Trimmins?

12:16

Yes, it's been chiseled with liquified

12:18

nerves from a really, really big

12:20

mouse. Exemplary, as always. And what's

12:23

the dessert? The

12:25

dessert, chocked with popularity, less

12:27

crispess, or brought back the fresh

12:29

dog egg, doused in creamed pus

12:32

from whatever uncracks as wounds. Oh, did

12:34

you hear my sweaty tits leap to

12:37

attention and start to hook in bag

12:39

just turn? Yes, took it

12:41

shall have been just then, sir. And I

12:44

bet just then. Yes,

12:47

sir. I very fucking did. I

12:49

think I need a triple dose of that

12:52

abominable treasure you're terrible for. Oh, right. Well,

12:54

Ron says if you'd like to sample it

12:56

in advance, you'll come out and you can

12:58

gently lap in his wound. No need. I

13:00

trust Ron's judgement like I

13:03

trust the perpetual revolving of my own

13:05

rancid guts. As you,

13:07

for one more, sir, look alike to

13:09

myself separately, did you? Just

13:12

mount it all on my lap and

13:14

bring a massive fucking ladle. Oh,

13:16

then is there anything for me, St Bernard? Still

13:19

got the will to be served cage and I

13:22

put it down in the car park from the

13:24

road around inside and so on. He'd like that.

13:26

I'll go out and join him once I've finished

13:28

in here. Yeah, you should. And

13:31

then the where went off to the kitchen.

13:33

But, Andrew, to be honest with you, I

13:35

had to leave shortly after that because of

13:37

the stench. I'm not surprised. It sounds quite

13:39

very intense. Intense, rich smells

13:41

coming from Ron's kitchen. I wasn't quite

13:44

up to it. Too rich for your

13:46

taste. Yeah, I found my end point.

13:49

So I'll be back after Chris. Of course you

13:51

will. Back to the normal menu. OK. So

13:57

the other day I was up near

13:59

Ali Pappar. again yeah ray

14:01

gun shop is shut oh right so

14:03

what you do instead then no sells

14:06

unnecessary oh shut as in forever yeah

14:08

I never get my ray gun back

14:11

so I popped into slaughters

14:13

restaurant yeah Adrian Lewis was

14:15

in there obviously so I

14:17

grabbed a booth and listened

14:19

to what went on so

14:22

first thing I had was a waiter good

14:24

afternoon sir good

14:26

afternoon to you welcome back

14:28

the slaughters and brace yourself for

14:31

a meaty thriller right all the

14:33

way up to planet fucking back

14:35

oh I just like

14:37

it how are the starters looking

14:39

today disgraceful sir oh

14:41

talk me through my choices does

14:44

sir careful thing the food well

14:46

sounds a bit fucking small but

14:49

I'll concentrate well we're offering deep

14:51

fried fingers in a lager butter

14:53

served in a thick gray gravy

14:55

Oh gray what's me other

14:57

option poach germs made

15:00

on a rat shop 100 and

15:04

fucking 80 give me both of them

15:06

you've got me tit rotating in both

15:08

three directions you meet a hero do

15:10

you want to see if you

15:12

begin to show me your tits I will rip

15:14

them both off and penetrate you with them oh

15:17

fuck off no you fuck off right what about

15:19

the manes can I

15:21

recommend to this special sir it's

15:23

paraffin roasted donkey wattles that have

15:26

been insulted by Ron cracks as he cooked

15:28

them oh that's got me

15:30

popping what did he call them

15:32

it's a bastard sir oh it's

15:35

no further questions I bet

15:38

you the dessert now was well

15:40

before my darting lingerie gets completely

15:42

drenched very good can I recommend

15:44

the three bird fiasco it's an

15:46

hour that's been stuffed inside a

15:48

peacock That's then been pureed

15:50

and pied into a toucan. speak Can you

15:53

drizzle some knee juice on the beef Or

15:55

it means for me to lick out for

15:57

all out a knee juice sir. Sorry

16:01

about that, Outside are probably only

16:04

of upset stomach. Anyway, gotta go

16:06

fetch all of that and I'll

16:08

have a desert boots full of

16:10

hot drip into Hs a mile

16:12

away. Thirty two says oh, and

16:14

of your guns anything for me

16:17

Said Bernard is got the runs

16:19

myself without something much slower than

16:21

the septic tank. A smile on

16:23

my previous attacks, my people. Perfect.

16:26

Give that he said oh wow

16:29

that simon's have to be honest

16:31

of catalyst me off site so

16:33

early as next self. To

16:35

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17:50

yeah a ton of your the service on to

17:52

spoil your own. the the a slow us. It'll

17:55

the restaurants maria don't the due to

17:57

home delivery service now power not alone.

18:00

For it. So I'm. At some of

18:02

us in the last known. As

18:06

restaurants delivery service.

18:11

At it as a see

18:13

how could choose between. Us.

18:19

And from Run Accents

18:22

as soon. As

18:27

we specialise include. Him

18:30

and. I

18:33

ran into a. Racket

18:36

Right Associates. Sewers to

18:39

a hospital center and

18:41

them. Slave.

18:46

Labor, I didn't see

18:48

me, it's Guinea Pig

18:50

Seat's period answer from

18:52

the top of our

18:54

daughters, squatters and a

18:56

slow steady they are.

19:00

Asked us so. It's

19:04

a choice. As

19:07

extreme to his dad, marijuana

19:09

law. Suits.

19:13

Me if is

19:15

max. my experience

19:17

no fluff. Say.

19:21

you go so out a lot of the

19:23

that this that was cooked to during the

19:25

nice. To get my food or ago

19:28

I think a good their facebook page gorgeous

19:30

in there are some it'll either. Also

19:35

on the about some odd

19:37

an oboe a week before

19:39

we were all m isolate

19:41

a dope permanent is laws

19:43

restaurant or eyes on the

19:45

palace. Copper. Amazon the highest.

19:48

Yeah, Farm missing that. Yeah jesus me

19:50

meathead aging Lewis was there. yeah just

19:52

had in and just before me as

19:54

he saw snow in and got the

19:57

boot of right next to him so

19:59

could listen. In a man moat business

20:01

as usual that say so. First thing

20:03

that saying it passed a spot was

20:06

aware. Resisted June

20:08

or July ricky list or

20:10

much as examples of police

20:12

to it to. Access.

20:16

Ah from from face off from

20:19

of the of yes what happens

20:21

I with the captured sweats. X.

20:31

Probably. Say s not good for

20:33

him. Could just checking for use

20:36

this. Not well. let's get to

20:38

infer online. I am got older

20:40

was a me start an option

20:42

moves a killer. Have a choice

20:45

between upright and brew buyers that

20:47

a bit fried with a round

20:49

of rags Lt Gov Five G

20:52

Mass oh slight you've been reading

20:54

my emails. Oh.

20:56

Caramelize Isis knick knacks of the

20:59

lab. Guess by get full to

21:01

offer why you tried to smuggle

21:03

bread inside my guts from the

21:05

full dose of it's actually just

21:07

a hollowed out were at all

21:10

for Batman? Like a give me

21:12

that on the other thing that

21:14

I've already forgotten about. Can feel

21:16

my glands pulsating already. Courts

21:19

or you like to hear to does means

21:22

know who knows. Easy for not know you've

21:24

got a job to tell us. If

21:27

and shows birthrates carried for

21:30

like cyclists that fence us

21:32

together in a colander, a

21:34

cement mixer, sorts of missoni,

21:37

Any a spree in this

21:39

photo I'm not sure about

21:41

that. Brands tend to make

21:43

me very bilious so so

21:46

sorry about it. Was Lcd

21:48

got you to at Ces

21:50

Fingers Fingers? fuck off his

21:52

success. What's special about fish

21:55

fingers that. Is. Monkeys think as

21:57

though they're being placed in shock.

21:59

You. Hi Power I suppose that

22:01

will do that. Will do that

22:04

Then Adrian insisted on speak in

22:06

Iran crags the head chef you

22:08

also have ideally run cam out.

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