0:00

This is the authentic sex

0:02

podcast and real life conversations about

0:04

sex, pleasure, and relationships. I'm

0:07

your host Juliet power. Welcome

0:14

to

0:14

episode number one hundred

0:16

and fifty one of the

0:19

authentic sex podcast. My

0:21

name is Juliet. Allen, I'm a sexologist

0:23

and sex and relationship coach.

0:26

and you are officially listening to the

0:28

last episode of season

0:30

six of Authentic Sex. I cannot

0:33

believe. I have published

0:35

six seasons of the podcast. It has

0:37

been so much fun. Today,

0:40

we are ending with a big bang. I

0:42

have my delicious beautiful

0:45

beloved partner, Nick Perry, back

0:47

on authentic sex. If

0:50

you are familiar with the podcast,

0:52

Nick has been on as a guest many

0:55

times and I couldn't think

0:57

of a better guest to have on

0:59

last episode than

1:01

Nick. Today, we spoke about

1:03

cockshame, sexual shadow,

1:05

and leaky sexual energy. three

1:07

topics that are all very interlinked and

1:10

that are hot topics. I

1:12

get a lot of questions about these

1:15

ones. and I knew Nick

1:17

would have so much to share

1:19

and I knew how important it was for

1:21

me to have a male guest

1:24

on the show today. So this

1:26

podcast episode is really special.

1:29

Nick shares some really personal stuff.

1:32

that I am just deeply grateful for

1:35

that he opened up about. And

1:37

I hope that you can really

1:41

respect him in his sharing

1:43

and honor him for doing so to

1:45

such a large audience of people.

1:49

Before fit we before we

1:51

start though, I really wanted

1:53

to talk to you about something that I'm super

1:55

excited about. And that

1:57

is that this week,

2:00

the week that this episode goes

2:02

live, is the week that

2:05

I have launched

2:05

my new subscription. My

2:09

subscription is

2:10

something that I've been working on behind

2:12

the scenes. It's called in bed with

2:14

Juliet. I'm very, very

2:16

excited about this one. Basically,

2:20

in the last few months, I have

2:22

felt I have felt the

2:24

need to withdraw

2:24

from social media a bit.

2:27

I haven't

2:27

necessarily necessarily withdrawn

2:29

that much yet. I'm ready for

2:32

a big break.

2:32

So in the last few months

2:35

while pondering how do I still

2:37

connect with my community and my

2:39

people who

2:39

love my work and who I have

2:42

been connecting with for so long. How do

2:44

I still connect

2:44

with you

2:46

without being

2:48

on primarily Instagram

2:50

a lot. And that was when

2:53

I've had the idea of creating

2:56

a monthly subscription. So

3:00

I did that, and I am working on it

3:02

behind the scenes still, and we will be ready

3:04

to launch next week officially publicly.

3:08

It's called Embraer Juliet and

3:11

it is hosted on sub stack.

3:13

So if you were a sub stack fan

3:16

or you already are on sub stack,

3:18

then you can look it up. You

3:21

can find heaps of info on my website.

3:23

Go to my home page. There's information

3:26

there. So what in bed with

3:28

Juliet is it's basically

3:30

modern day sex ed. It is

3:32

using education, exclusive,

3:36

authentic sex podcast episodes.

3:38

And q and a's and personal stories

3:41

from me I plan on sharing

3:43

personally in a whole new way.

3:46

Like imagery, stories, on

3:48

Instagram, you know, I do share stuff,

3:50

but I I definitely hold

3:52

back and I do keep a lot private.

3:55

And I will still do that. However, in

3:57

the subscription, I'm

3:59

going to open up in a deeper

4:01

way and I feel

4:03

like this is the right way to do it.

4:07

So as I mentioned, this

4:10

is the last episode of season six

4:12

of Authentic Sex. Now,

4:14

I have created a hundred and

4:16

fifty one episodes and six

4:18

seasons of this podcast and it has been

4:20

entirely free. So

4:22

for the next few months, the podcast

4:24

is going to transition over

4:27

to my subscription and

4:29

that is where you will get new episodes.

4:32

So as I said, there

4:34

is heaps of info on my website

4:37

about it. You can go to juliet

4:39

hyphen alan dot com. and

4:41

read more. The subscription

4:43

is only ten dollars a

4:45

month.

4:47

Ten dollars a month.

4:49

and you just get so much

4:51

like it's just it's going to be packed

4:53

full, jam packed full, worksheets,

4:56

monthly q and a's, exclusive

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podcast episodes, bonus content,

5:01

voicemails from me, and

5:03

then this is the fun bit. Right?

5:05

if you're single. Now, by the way, this

5:07

is for couples, singles, everyone,

5:10

and every sexual

5:12

identity, gender identity. I'm

5:14

also going to have exclusive online

5:17

dating threads in there. So

5:19

if you are single or if

5:21

you're couple seeking a third party or

5:23

we're gonna have different ones in there. Then

5:26

anyone who is in the embedded

5:28

Juliet community is

5:30

going to be able to connect

5:32

with others in the community. So

5:35

you're going to have the opportunity to connect

5:37

with people who could potentially

5:39

be future lovers, partners, who

5:41

are interested in the same things as you.

5:44

Now, this this also goes

5:45

for people who don't want, you know,

5:47

sex with others, don't want a new relationship,

5:50

whatever. If you're somebody who

5:52

just wants to connect with other

5:54

people who are interested in the same things

5:56

and who are having, you

5:58

know, interested in having conversations

5:59

around intimacy sex, holistic

6:02

sex, and all the things, then you are going

6:04

to have an opportunity to do

6:06

that within this community. So this isn't

6:08

just This is not social media.

6:11

This is different. This is private.

6:13

this does not have the gaze of thousands

6:16

of people looking at it. Yeah.

6:19

It's it's I'm so

6:21

excited. I'm excited

6:24

for me because it's just I feel so

6:26

inspired to share more intimately

6:28

and with a lot more I guess

6:30

more intentionally, but I'm just so

6:32

excited for you. I'm excited

6:34

for you guys because, you know, for those of

6:36

you who've been following me for years or who

6:38

are really excited about

6:40

my work and who, you know, I'm

6:43

always learning something new or

6:45

who listen to the podcast and I'm big

6:47

fans. this is something new

6:49

for you that you can join that

6:51

only cost ten dollars a month

6:54

and just provides you with so much

6:56

inspiration. So I'm

6:58

gonna leave it at that for now. I

7:00

appreciate you. Thank

7:02

you for supporting authentic sex

7:04

this far. It's been

7:06

a huge, huge

7:08

journey and I could not have done

7:10

it without you. The

7:12

podcast has

7:13

had millions of lessons now,

7:15

which is just unbelievable

7:18

and so

7:19

I just have so much gratitude.

7:23

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

7:25

Thank you. So,

7:27

yeah, introducing you to the

7:29

last episode of season six.

7:31

And if you want more episodes, jump

7:34

on into Inberg with Juliet. You

7:36

can find everything on my website. And

7:38

I really hope you enjoy this episode with Nick

7:40

and I.

7:43

Welcome back to the

7:45

last episode of season six.

7:47

It had to be you. as the guest

7:49

on the last episode, it couldn't be

7:51

anyone else. Yeah.

7:53

And here we are. Finally, it's taken

7:55

us about six

7:58

months to

7:59

get together

8:01

and record. Mhmm. Ships

8:03

in the night in our own house. Yeah.

8:07

Well, it's not really. It's just more that

8:09

with two children, it just there's

8:12

lots happening. Yeah. And then

8:14

two businesses. and

8:16

six acres. And six land to

8:18

the helicopter

8:20

and

8:21

becoming a former project

8:24

manager.

8:25

you know, house renovation

8:28

or fund repair, I should say.

8:31

Nine at

8:33

all what I'm doing. That's in

8:35

So it

8:36

has to take another time to space.

8:38

Yeah. Well,

8:40

thanks for saying yes. Today is a really

8:42

good topic. and I know that people are gonna love it and

8:44

I don't know anyone else

8:46

who would I would want

8:48

to speak into these topics other than

8:50

you. So Thank you.

8:52

Mhmm. Today, we

8:54

are speaking about cockshame.

8:56

Mhmm.

8:57

Sexual shadow and leaky sexual

9:00

energy.

9:00

So before we go into it, I

9:02

want you to introduce yourself. Mhmm.

9:04

Actually, I'll introduce you.

9:07

Okay. This is my beautiful man,

9:09

Nick. who

9:10

is my love it, I

9:12

love the father of my

9:14

children,

9:17

my emphyseying.

9:18

Nick.

9:19

Do you wanna introduce

9:20

yourself more efficiently? Okay. Keep

9:23

going.

9:24

them

9:25

Yeah. My name's Nick. I

9:29

work as a holistic lifestyle

9:31

coach, and I've

9:33

been doing that for

9:36

over a decade.

9:36

and

9:39

I in the last over the

9:41

last six years have been heavily

9:43

involved in men's work.

9:46

and

9:48

I

9:50

financially essentially

9:51

work at synthesizing key

9:55

aspects of, you know,

9:57

the human experience,

9:59

the overarching spiritual

10:02

process that's happening.

10:04

synonymously and,

10:08

yeah, help people to

10:10

find solutions to their own

10:12

problems. in

10:14

a range of different contexts

10:16

and and in, you

10:17

know, fields and environments.

10:19

That's my passion and that's fun too.

10:23

What

10:23

are you laughing?

10:26

Yes.

10:26

I've never described it like that. I was just No.

10:28

I was just I was just happy. What I was about

10:31

to describe it differently. Yeah.

10:33

And I was like, okay. How can I phrase

10:35

this differently from the

10:38

young I'm a coach, and this is what I do,

10:40

but

10:41

I I have

10:42

a particular take on things.

10:45

And, yeah, it is very

10:47

much foundationally holistic,

10:50

meaning

10:52

It's an

10:53

incorporation of the

10:55

spiritual, mental, emotional, and

10:57

the physical. So,

10:59

yeah, that's where a lot of my training is.

11:01

It's in those four

11:05

pillars. And

11:07

then my

11:07

Further training has been around

11:10

like psychology and

11:14

life skills and

11:17

yeah, family dynamics and shadow

11:19

work and just,

11:22

yeah,

11:23

deeper dive stuff. Fatherhood. Fatherhood.

11:26

Mhmm.

11:28

Cool. So let's

11:30

talk about kopshane. Let's just get straight

11:32

into it. Yeah.

11:34

sexuality. That's that's

11:37

another thing. Oh, yeah. Sexuality. That's

11:39

another You're you're a

11:41

jackable guy. Totally. and

11:43

a master of all trades. Yes.

11:47

Full blown. Full blown.

11:49

God complex. right here.

11:52

Yes. Copshane. Copshane

11:55

is

11:55

something very

11:57

passionate

11:59

new

11:59

about opening the conversation up

12:02

around. Yeah,

12:04

there's there's a

12:07

a few

12:09

environments like,

12:11

you know, in men's work.

12:13

At times, this will come up in

12:15

my mentorship. that

12:17

I run. Sometimes

12:19

this will come up and

12:22

just

12:24

each time that happens,

12:27

the the data

12:29

that comes from the conversation opening

12:31

up is that there's

12:33

a lot of men that

12:35

live with cox

12:37

shame, body shame, but in particular

12:39

cox shame, and

12:41

they are grappling

12:43

with it or struggling with it or burdened

12:46

by it and they're doing so completely

12:48

alone.

12:50

and it

12:50

has a massive impact. And

12:53

that's what's interesting to me

12:55

is to, you know, look at

12:58

look at that shame, look

13:00

at the stories

13:02

and belief systems that

13:04

come with that shame in particular

13:07

around cock something that's really

13:09

important and

13:11

then looking how that

13:13

shame influences

13:16

self

13:16

expression or lack of

13:19

self expression influences decisions

13:22

that that

13:24

seemingly unrelated.

13:26

but that copshame can

13:28

really infiltrate

13:30

and influence things in

13:32

an unconscious way. So,

13:35

yeah, I I really

13:37

appreciate the conversation. And,

13:40

yeah, I'm curious as to where

13:42

we'll go with it today. But it's a

13:44

really important one, to

13:46

lift out of the shadows and to presence

13:48

and and to acknowledge

13:52

to any and all men that may

13:54

have any degree of shame

13:56

around their body or their cock that

13:59

it is super normal

14:02

to be, you know,

14:04

carrying that. It's something

14:06

you don't have to carry. It's something that

14:08

you can work with and integrate.

14:10

And most importantly is

14:13

that you

14:14

are not alone. if that's something

14:16

that afflicts you, you are

14:18

certainly not alone. Mhmm.

14:20

Do you think all men have a bit of

14:22

cock shine? Mhmm.

14:24

I I can't say that

14:27

definitively. Most

14:28

men? Yeah. Most men.

14:32

Yes. Yes. I

14:34

think

14:35

at

14:36

least in our culture, I

14:38

think

14:40

there is

14:43

something

14:43

in the conditioning that

14:46

we pass through as men inside this

14:48

culture that seems

14:50

to program some degree of

14:52

shame in

14:54

around cop.

14:55

What do you think

14:56

that is? Well,

14:59

if you really Well, that what are some examples?

15:02

If you look at it, it depends how you

15:04

look at it. You know, if you took the

15:06

really, really, really long

15:08

zoom out, you'd

15:10

have to acknowledge that

15:13

the the the value

15:16

system of the culture

15:18

is still quite

15:21

structured in conservative

15:24

Christian values. that's quite

15:26

prevalent, you know, modern

15:28

culture still. Mhmm. And,

15:30

you know, as we know, there is a lot

15:32

of like

15:32

a taboo stigma

15:36

around sexuality,

15:38

around of

15:41

pleasure around, you know, the sexual

15:43

organs around

15:45

just, you know, desires

15:47

and fantasies and masturbation

15:49

and It's

15:51

it's not new. These

15:55

statements that they're super fucking old and

15:57

they're super fucking outdated as

15:59

well. that you

16:00

for an upgrade. So, yeah, that's

16:04

part of my

16:04

answer is if you really looked at

16:06

how Zoom Zoom Zoom out, like,

16:08

that's inherently

16:10

a part of our culture, those value

16:12

systems. Mhmm. And

16:14

then if

16:16

you zoomed in a bit, To

16:18

answer the question, why is that?

16:21

What do

16:24

you observe in mainstream

16:27

media? What do you observe,

16:29

you know, on a

16:31

very, you know, on a grassroots level?

16:34

of, like, social interactions and,

16:36

you know, the

16:38

conversations around,

16:41

yeah, this very thing. There's

16:43

usually a

16:45

sarcastic undertone

16:47

that

16:50

plakes it. You know, it's very difficult. It's

16:52

very challenging to have like an

16:54

honest open vulnerable conversation.

17:00

about something as vulnerable

17:02

as cockshame without

17:04

it being becoming awkward

17:06

or being suppressed or being

17:09

saturized

17:09

or made into a joke.

17:11

And I think that's the Australian culture

17:13

too very much if the sarcasm

17:15

is a big part of

17:17

the way we communicate in the Australian

17:19

culture. That's

17:21

unique. Very unique to each other. We

17:23

can speak to that for sure. So

17:26

what like, what's it what's it

17:28

like growing up? Okay.

17:30

I think

17:30

the biggest

17:32

thing that you can correct me if I'm

17:34

wrong that men would come up against from a

17:37

very young age. And

17:39

I

17:39

want to go back to something else I thought of, but

17:42

is

17:42

the whole beacon the

17:44

small cock. You got

17:45

a small cock. Or he's got a

17:47

small cock. He's got

17:48

a big cock. And this whole size

17:50

thing that comes up, especially in our whole

17:52

and I'm speaking as a woman who grew up

17:54

in this

17:54

culture and remembers

17:56

that conversation from such a

17:58

young age about

18:00

men's

18:01

penises.

18:02

yeah Yeah.

18:04

Totally. So But

18:06

this is the big one, isn't it?

18:07

Oh, it is the it is the it is

18:10

one of the big ones.

18:12

That's a

18:13

good distinction. It's like when we're talking

18:16

about cockshame,

18:18

what what

18:18

is the definition of that? Or what are we

18:20

referring to exactly? So some people

18:22

might have jumped to that and assumed that's

18:24

what we're talking about. when

18:26

I brought this up in conversation before and even on social

18:29

media, this seems to be

18:31

the assumption. around

18:33

one of the growing two

18:36

in cochlear implants. So, yeah,

18:38

there's you know, that's

18:40

interesting. Oh, I

18:42

know that's not what you're just trying to No.

18:44

No. But I'm just bringing up

18:45

the kind of, like,

18:47

the big one. Yeah. I'm

18:49

just kind of emphasizing that that's

18:51

that's where we're starting and just

18:53

noting that that again,

18:55

this is one of

18:57

the main

18:59

pieces and isn't that

19:01

interesting that this is such a thing

19:03

and it's something that is

19:05

has been

19:06

weaponized in

19:09

a way. What

19:09

do you mean by that? I

19:11

mean, it's become

19:12

a tool to

19:14

cut a man down. Yeah.

19:18

To to say, you know, I remember there

19:20

was a speeding anti

19:22

speeding campaign on

19:25

TV by, you

19:26

know, like, the

19:28

the RTA, roads and traffic,

19:31

whatever. to

19:31

a stands for authority association. Anyway,

19:35

it yeah. It basically

19:37

said if you speed, you have a small cock.

19:40

No. Yeah. They they jet, you know, it's like the

19:42

guy speeds and then the the the woman

19:44

or whoever it is. gestures

19:48

with their pinky, which is a

19:51

sign that you've got a small cock.

19:53

And and personally,

19:55

I don't take that like huge

19:57

offense to that, but now knowing

19:59

what I know and

20:01

Yeah. But if you can just say the clock,

20:03

you might?

20:04

Yeah. It it got it it's

20:07

it's

20:07

just a it's an interesting thing to leverage.

20:10

Mhmm. It's like become a

20:12

leveraging tool. Mhmm. And

20:14

so it's put all this emphasis

20:16

on It's like

20:18

an expectation and

20:21

a

20:21

standard that

20:23

how

20:23

you are needs to be a certain way and

20:25

if it isn't as this

20:28

society has gained

20:32

average or above average or

20:34

whatever, then you are somehow

20:37

disadvantaged or deficient

20:39

or So, yeah, the

20:41

sizing, fuck with a

20:43

lot men fucks at Mhmm.

20:45

And creates a paranoia, creates

20:48

AAAA shame and a dysmorphia

20:52

around who they are.

20:54

And this is this is what I mean when I said at

20:56

the start why this conversation is

20:58

important to have and and

21:00

to to you

21:02

know, explore any

21:04

suppressed cockshame. Like, you know, I might

21:06

have cockshame and feel shame that I have

21:08

shame about my cock. And I'm now I'm on

21:10

that fucking spiral. And that

21:12

shame that that I have about my

21:14

cock stops me from

21:18

pursuing particular career path. maybe

21:20

I need to dress a

21:22

certain way or wear speedos

21:25

or or have to get at some sort of

21:27

examination or like

21:29

the the extent that

21:31

some men avoid the

21:35

world for

21:37

fear of what they

21:39

ashamed of about themselves being

21:41

exposed is unbelievably

21:43

limited in some limiting in

21:46

some cases. So

21:49

that's why, yeah,

21:51

you know, size is

21:54

It's it starts so fucking young.

21:56

you know, the the what

21:58

what I said, the

21:59

weaponizing of, you know, cock. I

22:02

remember okay. I remember Let

22:04

me give a real example

22:06

of all the

22:07

name calling that

22:10

could be conjured up in

22:12

a playground.

22:13

at school. Mhmm. The

22:15

most regularly

22:17

used one in my later years

22:19

of primary school and all throughout

22:22

high school. Was he pindig? Yeah.

22:25

Pindig. Pindig. Mhmm.

22:27

And that, you know, that's just that

22:29

was just fucking standard. That was just a

22:32

standard roast. that you throw at

22:34

someone, someone you knew or someone who

22:36

didn't know. Mhmm. But it it

22:38

gets through, you know, it goes through that

22:40

young mind. And so, again,

22:42

I'll use myself as a further

22:44

example. I like

22:46

I'd hear that from when I

22:48

was in grade seven, So

22:50

I'm the I was twelve years old in

22:52

grade seven to start school early. Mhmm.

22:54

So I'm, like, on

22:57

the the side

22:59

of puberty where barely

23:02

shuffled half a foot into

23:04

it. Mhmm. And then there's

23:06

these dudes with fucking heads.

23:08

and periods and,

23:10

you know, voices that have dropped

23:12

that are roasting

23:15

me you

23:18

know, innocently enough, but

23:21

targeting my cock

23:23

as a little boy. pindic. And

23:25

so then this complex forms of

23:27

like fuck. Mhmm.

23:28

Or compared to them, you know,

23:30

compared to these fucking seventeen year

23:33

olds, I am. They're right. Mhmm. And

23:35

so that that has an impact. And

23:37

then, you know, that's one example of

23:39

where it starts. and where

23:41

the suppression starts and where the, you

23:43

know, the dysmorphere starts and

23:46

that loading

23:49

relationship with the

23:51

cock can really begin. Mhmm.

23:54

And

23:55

yeah, how does that impact self

23:58

expression? you know, that's an

24:00

interesting thing to consider. That

24:03

the lesser obvious areas, maybe

24:05

there's less participation at a

24:08

school dance or pursuing

24:10

a a crash or

24:13

even in any

24:15

sort of creative expression, if

24:17

confidence has taken a hit,

24:19

then I'm less likely to try a musical

24:22

instrument. I'm less likely to, you know, put

24:24

myself out there. So looking at all the

24:26

the the the

24:29

other symptoms that come

24:31

from

24:32

okay looking

24:33

at how early it can

24:36

begin

24:37

as a complex -- Mhmm. --

24:39

and how

24:41

on

24:42

safe. It is in our

24:45

culture to process

24:47

that. Yeah. So so it can

24:50

heal and integrate and no longer

24:52

has to be this blockage

24:54

th

24:55

to to life experience to

24:58

self expression. Mhmm.

25:00

And that would impact

25:03

sexual expression big time. Oh, yeah. And

25:06

does? Yeah. It does. It

25:08

does all the way through to, like,

25:10

that psychosomatic

25:12

yeah, that's

25:14

psychosomatic feedback

25:16

where What do you mean

25:18

by that? So I mean, I've

25:21

worked with people who have,

25:24

like, a erectile dysfunction

25:26

-- Mhmm. -- for example,

25:29

And when we really unfold

25:31

it together, we

25:34

can pinpoint it

25:35

quite specifically to

25:39

a time in their past

25:41

where they were shamed -- Mhmm.

25:43

-- about their cock.

25:46

Mhmm. And it's created

25:48

and neurosis. Like they got

25:51

stuck in their head now. And

25:53

so being

25:54

stuck in their head,

25:56

they

25:56

can't move or circulate or channel their

25:58

sexual energy because it's all just up in their

26:00

head and blocked. Mhmm. And

26:03

so they

26:05

are experiencing a rectal

26:08

dysfunction in some way -- Mhmm. -- and

26:10

believing it is because, well, hey,

26:12

am I cock is broken. It is an issue of my

26:14

cock, but actually -- Mhmm. -- it's

26:16

not. Mhmm. It's it's a program in

26:18

the head that is

26:21

creating a stress response and that

26:23

stress response is decommissioning

26:25

bad

26:28

they can't

26:28

-- Mhmm. -- from being engaged and

26:30

aroused and, you know, doing

26:32

what it knows how to do. Yeah. So

26:34

have you worked with lots of guys who

26:37

have that challenge? Yes.

26:40

Yes. And they all have unique story,

26:42

so it's not the same thing,

26:44

but that as a

26:47

as as a body symptom -- Mhmm. -- of

26:49

that shame? Super common.

26:51

Yeah. Super super common.

26:53

Yeah.

26:55

I

26:55

guess it all starts like one

26:57

of the earliest things I can think

26:59

of when boys are

27:02

shamed for their work.

27:04

around

27:05

their cock is when we're changing a little baby's

27:07

nappy and they start playing with their

27:09

penis. Mhmm. And the

27:11

carer, whoever it is, kind of

27:13

slaps

27:13

a hand away

27:14

and quickly chucks a nappy on. I was

27:16

like, no, you don't do that. Mhmm.

27:18

And

27:19

that's that happens to so many boys. and so many

27:21

men have talked to me about how they remember

27:23

that that. Yeah. And I remember touching

27:25

their penis and

27:27

then somebody telling them to stop of them

27:29

feeling shame instantly from,

27:31

like, such

27:31

young age. Yeah. I think that's

27:34

something that, you know, if parents are

27:36

listening that they can be aware of,

27:38

so Yeah.

27:38

They think they're doing the right thing

27:41

in a way.

27:41

Like, oh, he shouldn't be

27:43

touching his penis or is

27:46

Germany or it's dirty or he just weed or,

27:48

you know, that type of thing too. Yeah. Right.

27:50

Or, you know, he shouldn't be touching it because

27:52

he shouldn't

27:53

be touching his penis because God

27:55

will punish you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah,

27:57

that's those

27:59

conditioned ideas --

28:01

Mhmm. -- playing out

28:02

unconsciously and then being passed

28:05

on. Mhmm. For sure. Like,

28:07

yeah, that's that's

28:10

prime time to

28:13

install AAA

28:15

human being with

28:18

Tina

28:18

to toward a positive relationship

28:20

with their with their cock.

28:22

There's a child. Yeah.

28:25

That's a that's a good point. So

28:28

what what

28:30

are some of the other things that men feel

28:32

shame around taking out the

28:35

size factor?

28:37

Okay. This

28:39

is yeah. This is kinda interesting.

28:43

The shape shape is

28:44

a really common one. The column is

28:46

actually a common one. Mhmm. Yep.

28:50

So when I say

28:52

shake, maybe that sounds

28:54

like I'm implying, like,

28:57

girth or, yeah,

28:59

contour or whatever. But even things

29:01

like bend, like it's really common

29:03

for a man to have,

29:06

like,

29:06

a bend in their cock

29:09

when it's a wreck. That's

29:11

super common. Yeah. circumcise.

29:13

Non certain non certain size.

29:15

That's like fucking what tandy you

29:17

want and Oh my gosh. Of course.

29:19

That's

29:19

a huge one. Yeah. It's and

29:22

it's it's like a it's a

29:24

it's just worth mentioning, you know, I'm not

29:26

a full blown

29:29

Not like No. It's not the word.

29:31

I'm not hypersensitive. Like,

29:34

by default, my

29:37

nature is I'm

29:38

not hypersensitive

29:40

or may maybe what it is is

29:42

that I'm sort of desensitized.

29:45

like, yeah,

29:46

to to this this

29:49

razzing of

29:50

oh yet

29:52

of of the cock -- Mhmm. -- in

29:54

any way. But this

29:56

conversation is important, so

29:58

it is in the

29:59

conscious awareness of

30:02

anyone listening and

30:04

to be able to read

30:06

the

30:06

feedback over a person or

30:09

to even just consider,

30:11

like, maybe me

30:13

saying what I'm about

30:15

to say even if I intend for it

30:17

to just be humor. could

30:19

totally throw this guy off

30:21

a day he's about to go on, you

30:23

know? Or So so

30:25

guys

30:25

talking to guys or even, like, assist

30:28

her talking to

30:28

her. Yeah. Yeah.

30:31

Yeah. So what so what

30:32

you're saying is

30:33

people should be aware of how they're speaking

30:35

about another man's cock. because it could have

30:37

a huge impact on them. Is that what That's that's

30:39

what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah.

30:40

I'm saying there's so many ways. There's

30:43

so many aspects of the

30:45

cock a guy could be totally, you know,

30:47

have a complex around.

30:50

So

30:51

color, shape -- Yeah. --

30:53

what else? Second

30:54

sized, second sized,

30:57

yeah, like,

31:00

bend, what

31:01

smell has anyone spoken

31:03

about that?

31:04

Personally, no, I

31:06

haven't worked with that as

31:09

a thing.

31:10

them Yeah.

31:12

I haven't personally

31:13

encountered that as a thing. I'm sure

31:15

it exists. Yeah. You know, it would have

31:18

to exist. well, dig cheese, you

31:20

know, or or out of, like Yeah. I've

31:22

got dig cheese. Yeah. Yeah. He's

31:24

got

31:24

he likes, you know, just that whole thing.

31:27

Yeah. Like, Uns unserversized men have

31:29

dick cheek, so you don't really go any

31:31

unservers. Yeah. You're right on. But that's a

31:33

conversation as a young woman

31:35

that you hear. Right. Cool. So

31:37

I I can then imagine that -- Yeah. -- that

31:39

must transfer over to the men who were

31:41

like, oh, shit, you know. Notably.

31:43

Yeah. So

31:45

okay. So if okay. Let's talk

31:48

about for the men listening. Mhmm.

31:50

How what can they

31:52

do if they're, like, Oh, shit.

31:54

I've definitely got some cockshame there.

31:56

I've never acknowledged

31:59

or thought

31:59

about or spoken to anyone about

32:02

what's what can they do? What's the

32:04

step they can take? Well,

32:06

first step is to to

32:09

have that question that self

32:11

exploration. If this is the first

32:13

time

32:13

hearing a conversation like this, it's a

32:16

very may well be. Like, it's a

32:18

very rare conversation. Yeah.

32:21

yeah Just take

32:23

a moment

32:24

to check-in with yourself.

32:27

and

32:27

have

32:28

an honest assessment of

32:30

what's my relationship with my

32:32

cock like. Am I am I

32:35

in total friendship. Am I

32:37

in total union with my

32:39

cocker mind? Total appreciation of

32:41

that do I? Do I

32:44

celebrate it?

32:46

Do I have, you know, you

32:49

know, loving, Yeah.

32:51

Like, loving appreciation of

32:54

it exactly as it is. It's fucking

32:56

mine. It's me. And

32:59

Yeah. It's

33:01

it's an ally. Or

33:03

is it

33:04

something else? Is there is

33:06

there a judgment, desire, like

33:08

a a criticism, whether

33:10

it's the screen or overtly

33:13

harsh Is there a behavior?

33:15

Is is there

33:17

do

33:17

you dread getting mood?

33:19

You know? Like, just checking

33:21

with those sorts of things.

33:25

and maybe there is

33:27

something there for you

33:29

to work

33:30

with to uncover. So that would

33:32

be step one. And then,

33:34

yeah, step two is if you

33:36

wanted to again, I'm I'm trying to be

33:38

really, like, realistic and practical. Step

33:40

two would be put pen to paper, I

33:42

think, could be really helpful. Mhmm.

33:45

Sometimes just the acknowledgement

33:48

of of that shame

33:50

can be so liberating just

33:52

to go, oh, there is

33:54

shame. I haven't even admitted

33:56

that to myself. That

33:58

can be quite freeing. to

34:00

know, maybe it's

34:01

not fully resolved, but it

34:03

doesn't rule me nearly as

34:05

much as what it did five minutes

34:07

ago when I was in full tonight, but I even had

34:09

an issue. And then

34:12

my yeah. I've I've

34:16

been in a range of different

34:18

environments and, you know, intentional

34:21

spaces and in

34:24

like

34:24

sacred sexuality work or tantrum work

34:26

or men's work where

34:30

bath

34:31

therapy even where I

34:34

take that shame and

34:35

I bring it into the, you

34:37

know, the light

34:40

of

34:41

discourse. and talk

34:43

about it and further liberate

34:46

myself from having to hide

34:48

denial or press this

34:50

aspect of

34:52

me and

34:52

that's ongoing.

34:54

Am I speaking to myself?

34:57

The more I

35:00

can you know, now

35:02

if there's an opportunity for me to

35:04

get nude somewhere around

35:08

other people,

35:10

I'm fucking I'm diving on that because I

35:13

realized, like, I that's still

35:15

an edge for me. And it and it

35:17

is an edge because I

35:20

have this conditioning, and I have had my

35:22

work in my own cockshame.

35:24

And the

35:26

evidence that

35:29

helps me that I'm really integrating and

35:32

continuing to

35:35

appreciate my body in

35:38

its in its form

35:40

exactly as it is is if I can be

35:42

cool with being nude around

35:44

people. I can

35:46

be cool someone I know or someone I don't know

35:48

is, you know, popping a glance out of the

35:50

corner of the aisle, is having an

35:52

over stare.

35:54

the more comfortable I am with that.

35:56

That's kind of my own personal procurement

35:58

up. I'm happy to stay

35:59

any day.

36:02

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

36:04

Will that ever make you feel uncomfortable in

36:06

the amount that I look at your payments?

36:08

Like, in no in no seriousness.

36:12

Like, in how long he's talking about it? I

36:14

don't know. I don't know. I can yeah. Not not

36:17

uncomfortable and not

36:20

on, like, stop looking at

36:21

my cart. Not like I feel violated. It's more like it

36:23

just it's just that reflection, you

36:25

know. It's just the mirror being held

36:27

up of, like, I'm still

36:30

not in full acceptance.

36:32

I'm still a bit paranoid

36:36

about

36:36

yeah. About it. And and that

36:39

that's something

36:39

that surprised surprised me so

36:41

much

36:42

because your penis is

36:44

so

36:44

pissed. It's like you

36:46

could give me a

36:47

confession. But it

36:50

really it really is

36:52

surprising, like, And so that makes

36:54

me think, okay, if,

36:56

you know, a penis like yours,

36:58

if a man like you can have

37:00

shame around your penis, then, you know,

37:03

so many, like, so

37:05

many men

37:06

must have shame around that penis.

37:08

Oh, so

37:08

many different clothings. Yes. Isn't it

37:11

fucking ruthless? Like, it actually

37:13

is ruthless. Yeah.

37:16

and it's

37:16

so worth investigating

37:19

and

37:19

exploring. So, yeah, that's

37:21

why I'm

37:22

excited about this conversation.

37:25

because it really will be a first time

37:27

for a lot of

37:29

men. Mhmm. Even

37:31

yeah.

37:32

Just considering their own

37:33

relationship to their cock

37:35

and how that motivates

37:38

the

37:38

choices they make.

37:40

what don't make. And then maybe they'd need some extra support

37:42

if they're like, oh, fuck. I don't know

37:44

where to start or, okay, I've uncovered something

37:48

and now how do I release this shame? Like, how do I let go of

37:50

it? And, you know, so that's where I

37:52

would recommend that they could contact you

37:54

or another

37:56

preferably, I would say, man, to speak with about it. Who's

37:59

Yeah. Yeah. I don't I

38:00

don't I think if someone's trained

38:04

and experienced. It it wouldn't matter.

38:06

Man, it would really

38:07

come down to the person. Mhmm. Like

38:09

this is something that

38:12

you wanna yes, lean into your edge, but

38:14

also cut

38:16

yourself some slack

38:18

and

38:20

and go to a

38:22

place you feel

38:23

safe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

38:26

Cool. Okay.

38:28

So something that makes me

38:30

really fucking angry is

38:32

when I hear

38:34

women just who have

38:36

shamed a a partner around

38:38

their about their cock or, you

38:40

know, have shamed an x about

38:42

his cock just because they wanna be

38:44

like

38:45

an asshole and -- Mhmm. --

38:47

you know, that really pisses me off. I

38:49

don't like that. Mhmm. So

38:51

let's talk about not necessarily that,

38:53

but how women

38:56

can

38:58

not

39:00

shame a man about his cock. Like, there's the obvious

39:02

ones. Like, don't talk about

39:04

don't, you know, call him a

39:06

pandemic. in the midst of a conversation

39:08

or say to

39:09

someone, well, you you got a small

39:11

dick anyway. So -- Yeah. -- you know, all

39:13

that horrible bitchy stuff. But

39:16

how can women really,

39:18

like, support a man to

39:20

in this area? I like It's

39:23

it's just understand, you

39:26

know,

39:26

to use UFC as an example.

39:28

Mhmm. It's forbidden to

39:31

keep

39:31

below the belt. It's

39:33

like

39:33

it's just too sensitive an area. Mhmm.

39:36

So even if it's herbal violence --

39:38

Mhmm. -- stay the

39:39

fuck away from what,

39:40

you know, anything below the belt.

39:43

you know, it's

39:45

like

39:46

even if you were

39:48

really upset

39:48

with someone, you don't you wouldn't

39:50

fucking eye gouge him. You Yeah.

39:53

It's just about

39:54

understand. It's not about shaming women

39:56

who have done that now either

39:59

because is probably done

40:02

in, you know, from

40:03

a place of their

40:04

own pain.

40:07

but it's

40:08

probably also done with a

40:10

lack of awareness of of how vicious

40:13

it actually is,

40:16

and how damaging and deeply impactful it

40:18

is. Mhmm. And again, like we

40:20

keep reiterating,

40:22

culturally, that's a wound

40:24

that's just gonna get pushed

40:26

down for for a lot

40:28

of men. They're like,

40:30

potentially they'll show nothing. and

40:33

now there's a fucking wound that'll

40:35

turn into a

40:37

scar and

40:38

it will impact then

40:40

and whoever, you know, they are in

40:43

intimate relationship thereafter. Mhmm.

40:45

So it it has a big impact.

40:47

So I think that's the

40:50

first thing to bring into the

40:51

light. It's just know that it's just it's

40:53

below the bell. Don't don't fucking

40:56

weaponize it. Don't

40:58

go there. So how can

41:00

women, like,

41:02

make

41:04

them feel great

41:05

about their call?

41:07

Oh. Do what

41:08

I do? It's doing, man. You do. That's

41:11

that's for you to well, okay. I'll

41:13

share. Why are you sharing? I'll

41:15

share. how

41:16

healing it actually is.

41:18

Right? So we've sort of

41:20

addressed

41:21

the impact of but

41:23

the

41:23

nice thing, you know, caught

41:26

chain. So

41:26

being together your

41:32

moderation has been

41:33

very impactful in a

41:36

positive light. It's been

41:38

it's been self sustaining

41:40

building. It's been confidence building.

41:42

It's had such a

41:44

it's helped me

41:47

second guess. my

41:49

own, yeah, my

41:51

own

41:54

criticisms of

41:54

of my body and my

41:58

talk and speaking

41:58

to that same piece. It's like interesting to

42:01

walk around

42:02

feeling

42:04

the only in

42:06

a just a more, I I guess,

42:08

confident is the word. Confidence kind

42:10

of, like, the the

42:13

the side effect. of

42:16

having being in relationship with the

42:18

woman who's like, I

42:19

love your cock.

42:21

I love great. Let me know. Stand there. I'm

42:23

taking a photo. I'm going to office works and

42:25

print it off and blowing it up and print

42:27

it onto a

42:30

canvas. I'm putting it I'm putting it in above the fireplace. Not

42:32

quiet, but, like, I was just

42:34

pretty starting a bit there, but pretty

42:38

much to that. So that's it

42:40

it is very healing. I can't think of

42:42

anything more to say than than

42:45

it's Perfect. Like, I've said every compliment

42:47

I can, and I won't

42:50

ever stop. Yeah. And I'm showing

42:52

that a lot of physical

42:54

adoration too. at something In

42:56

line with words? Absolutely.

42:58

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, that's

43:00

what you can do, ladies. Yeah.

43:02

Just just understand

43:05

how positively impactful it

43:08

is on on

43:09

man's self esteem. and

43:12

also

43:13

understand

43:15

that shame

43:18

and conditioning

43:19

is

43:20

so deep seated. So even

43:22

if it doesn't seem like it's

43:25

received or even if it's

43:27

like rejected, like repelled, just

43:29

understand that that's because,

43:32

you

43:33

know, this man really

43:36

really is in a poor relationship

43:39

with his

43:39

own cock. So it may take,

43:41

you know, weeks and may take months

43:43

and may take years. for

43:46

them to keep hearing that because

43:48

all they've ever heard their whole

43:50

life is something that's

43:51

scathing or

43:54

like said weaponized or shaming. What do you mean by weaponized

43:56

again? I keep weaponized against

43:58

Like like you said, it's some

43:59

it's

44:02

like okay. I'm

44:03

I wanna harm you. Okay. Got it. Yeah. So I'm

44:04

gonna harm you by sharing with my word. By sharing your

44:07

card. Yeah. I'm gonna use subject

44:10

matter of this weapon -- Yeah. -- as you can't. Do

44:12

you have anything else to

44:14

add before we move on to a very

44:16

related topic which is sexual

44:20

shadow? I don't

44:20

I don't wanna overcook it. It's more

44:22

just about opening up the conversation and

44:26

just Yeah. If if

44:28

you're feeling inspired

44:30

or cold to to work on

44:32

something you may discover

44:34

just from hearing this, follow

44:36

through with it. It's really cool and it

44:38

doesn't have

44:39

to be, you know, a massive deal that

44:41

it is something that's worth, you

44:43

know, investing the time

44:46

into. Mhmm. to to really yeah.

44:48

You know, sit

44:48

in front of someone or or sit in a

44:50

group or even just pen to paper, like

44:54

I said, and to

44:55

uncover your own stuff around

44:58

that. So where can people find

45:00

you? I didn't plan

45:02

on this But, like, if

45:03

if a man's listening down, he's like, fuck. I'm gonna do something about

45:04

this. Well, yeah. Well, I do one on

45:07

one coaching. So just go to

45:09

my website, Rhythm Health.

45:12

dot com dot au. You also have your

45:13

your group calls each

45:16

month, but let's let's talk about that a bit.

45:18

Yeah. Yeah.

45:20

Yeah. Yeah. because that's cool. Yeah. And that's the way I work with you

45:22

too. Yeah. The the

45:24

mentorship that I I run a three

45:25

month mentorship

45:28

The

45:28

next one will be in February twenty

45:31

twenty three. That's a really

45:32

good

45:34

opportunity to work

45:36

in a very thorough way over an

45:38

extended period of time together.

45:40

Yeah. I was

45:41

talking about amplifying.

45:44

Yeah. But I think that this piece

45:46

in particular, I'd probably direct people more to one on one coaching

45:49

and mentorship. Yeah.

45:51

Got

45:51

it. I do.

45:53

Okay. Let's talk about sexual shadow.

45:55

What is sexual shadow? Yeah.

45:58

It's a

46:00

bit.

46:00

sexual shadow. So let's just work with the definition

46:03

of shadow as

46:06

my

46:08

shadow is the parts of myself,

46:10

I hide, repress, and

46:13

deny. So this

46:15

goes for anything.

46:18

It's it's the

46:19

shadow that underpins

46:22

mind

46:23

does. It's

46:25

the shadow that

46:28

influences me

46:29

to be out of

46:32

integrity with myself. It's it's the shadow

46:36

that's steers things on an unconscious level in my And

46:39

usually, it's steering

46:42

me in a direction

46:44

that's limiting That's

46:46

that's the definition I'll go with. So sexual shadow

46:50

is pertaining to

46:50

matters of, you know, sex and sexuality.

46:53

So the parts of myself are sides

46:55

and I repress around sexuality. So what

46:58

were an example of

46:58

that? There are a few examples like

47:01

just off the bat. shame. Again,

47:03

is that what are you ashamed about?

47:05

About sexuality? Do you have are

47:07

you attracted to

47:10

a certain Like,

47:12

kink, do

47:14

you have sexual shadow?

47:17

Do you have you

47:18

know, again religious shame -- Mhmm. --

47:21

that lives inside you. And again,

47:23

like I said, steers you.

47:27

Mhmm. In in the direction

47:29

that you make choices or or

47:31

don't make choices,

47:32

sexual shame can be

47:34

around Sexual shame. Sorry.

47:36

Sexual of shadow can be it can

47:38

be someone that has experienced

47:42

abuse. It can be someone that

47:44

has abused. It

47:47

can be fucking let

47:50

me just have a It could be

47:52

around, like, a

47:53

sexual fantasy that you thought about

47:55

your whole life and never told anyone because you

47:57

have so much shame -- Yep.

47:58

-- around it --

47:59

Yep. -- which goes back

48:02

to life. you know,

48:03

if it's

48:04

classified as kinky or if it's something really like

48:08

unusual.

48:08

unusual Yeah.

48:10

That could be -- Yes. -- in shadow. So it's like, what do

48:12

you what do you push down? What do you push to

48:14

the site? What do you deny? What do you press

48:18

around sexuality? These are

48:20

the the just just some

48:22

of the fucking infinite

48:25

ways that sexual

48:27

shadow can can form.

48:29

Mhmm.

48:30

And then what impact do you feel that has

48:33

on people? If they have

48:35

a sexual shadow that hasn't been draw

48:37

into the

48:38

light, I guess you would

48:40

say. I brought out of the shadows

48:42

-- Yes. -- that I've spoken about or

48:46

acknowledged or just

48:46

well, I always you know, I

48:49

I started working with

48:52

human bodies

48:54

in the physical sense in

48:58

biomechanics.

48:58

And I learned that the

49:00

last thing we look at is

49:03

the symptom So

49:03

we look at yeah.

49:06

We're

49:06

looking we're looking for the

49:08

driver. We're looking for the the

49:11

the thing that's causing an

49:14

effect. So

49:17

sexual

49:17

shadow

49:19

can show up in

49:21

very unobvious areas.

49:24

Mhmm. So if we're speaking

49:26

to in into similar

49:28

things here, it

49:30

can impact confidence. It can impact self

49:32

esteem. It can impact health choices.

49:34

It can impact social

49:36

circles that

49:38

choose to be in or not

49:40

be in. It can impact connection with family

49:43

members. It can

49:46

impact six

49:47

our sex life. The sex sex life.

49:49

Right? Yeah. It can impact

49:52

your creative

49:54

flow. That's a massive one. Somebody that

49:57

has

49:59

a

50:01

big blockage around

50:04

sexuality and around

50:07

sexual expression. It's common that

50:09

they all experience blockage

50:12

in how they express

50:14

creativity in every other

50:16

way. Mhmm.

50:19

So

50:19

yeah. It's And

50:22

again -- Yeah. -- for those

50:24

listening who are like, oh, this is something for me

50:26

to explore. would they then oh, look, I would recommend

50:28

that they go back to the steps you

50:30

said around the cockshame, but in

50:32

relating into

50:34

this. which is, like, be, you know, become aware of

50:36

perhaps what your shadows could

50:38

be. Mhmm. Jot it down in a piece

50:40

of paper or in your journal.

50:43

and that even just that can

50:46

help. And then if you want further

50:48

support, find somebody who

50:50

feel safely and

50:52

then trust. talk

50:53

about it -- Mhmm. -- and explore more. What would

50:55

you add to

50:55

that? Well, I feel

50:57

like adding on

50:59

to

50:59

that. Mhmm.

51:02

having

51:02

worked with people with, you know, with

51:04

sexuality, having done my own work.

51:06

What I have noticed,

51:08

i have noticed

51:10

is

51:11

that everybody has some

51:13

degree of sexual shadow.

51:15

Mhmm. Like

51:16

like

51:18

everybody's sex

51:20

is fundamentally

51:22

part of who we are and what we are.

51:24

Mhmm.

51:26

Which obviously

51:26

this podcast is a pretty

51:29

fucking looking look at that as a

51:32

concept. But it's true.

51:36

We are we

51:37

all enter into the world

51:40

via an orgasm.

51:42

We'll not necessarily We'll not necessarily

51:44

but but in twenty twenty you

51:47

guys, Michael. Yeah. No. Not not necessarily

51:49

a good one, but

51:54

it's

51:54

it's the most one the

51:56

most fundamental it's the most

51:59

fundamental aspect of

52:00

life -- Mhmm.

52:01

-- being a human.

52:03

Mhmm. Yet. like

52:05

death. It's

52:08

something

52:08

that we scoot around. Mhmm.

52:11

It's something that

52:13

can trigger

52:16

awkwardness for a lot of, you know,

52:18

for a lot of people isn't brought up in

52:20

conversation. It's absolutely fucking

52:22

forbidden in conversation in

52:24

a lot of

52:25

pockets of of our society and

52:28

culture. So It's

52:30

it's a

52:31

really big piece. Spectrum Shadow is

52:33

a really fucking big piece.

52:35

So this is just

52:37

kind of again an

52:39

opportunity to

52:42

bring it up bring up the conversation

52:44

again as we talk about it

52:46

now, but for other people to

52:48

to initiate their own conversations around the

52:51

parts of my sexuality I

52:53

had to know, press. that

52:56

I'm ashamed about, that I marginalize, that I push

52:59

to the side, and take

53:01

a look. Again, starting with

53:03

that

53:03

self assessment of,

53:06

like, Alright. If if

53:08

I

53:09

didn't harbor,

53:11

if this

53:12

shadow was

53:14

integrated. Right? If it if it wasn't

53:17

pushed down, what would be

53:19

different? What would

53:20

change for me in my

53:22

life? how would I show up

53:24

differently tomorrow if I didn't feel this way about my own sexuality?

53:30

I

53:30

feel like I'm gonna get you to do

53:32

a worksheet in my

53:35

new subscription that I wanna

53:37

talk about later, but that

53:40

helps people kind of unpack

53:42

sexual shadow a bit. Yeah. And

53:44

because I think that would be

53:46

really handy, and I I feel like I could do it, but I

53:48

feel like you've had more experience

53:52

in like supporting

53:54

in particular men

53:56

to unpack

53:57

it a bit.

53:58

Mhmm. And so I'm gonna pop

53:59

that on the list and I'm

54:02

gonna create get you to

54:04

like, you and I together to

54:06

create a worksheet that people can

54:08

go to in my in

54:10

vet with Juliet subscription -- Mhmm. -- where they can,

54:13

you know, they have the questions there, the journal

54:15

prompts, and they can unpack it. because I

54:17

think that would be really handy.

54:19

he Yeah. Cool.

54:21

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Coming soon, I

54:23

just thought of that idea. That was

54:25

not a not a plan. Why

54:28

is it written real big and bold

54:31

on the whiteboard, tiny? It's not actually It's

54:33

not a boy. It's

54:36

not. Okay. I really love

54:38

these conversations. So what's

54:40

helped you with your sexual

54:42

shadow is like, is it just

54:45

give

54:45

me an example. Don't you don't need to

54:47

give an example of a sexual shadow. You've got

54:49

a green eyes face right now. Oh, you

54:52

want it? I'll I'll try and

54:54

think of one. keep it

54:55

MA fifteen. Nice to

54:57

stay away from the other

55:00

stuff. I mean, I you

55:02

don't have to. I'm just wondering I'm just trying to

55:04

think since you're Come on. I know there's plenty.

55:06

Oh, yeah. There's so much in

55:08

there. It's just like it novel. It's

55:10

like it I'm just I'm

55:12

just remembering the normal combination

55:14

to the vault. Oh,

55:17

there it is. Whoa. like,

55:20

scrooge with ducks vault in here. Apart

55:23

myself, I hide tonight and

55:25

press, so that's an example. Well,

55:27

everyone's waiting.

55:28

I just wanna comment on the

55:30

beautiful sounds outside, and I'm not

55:32

joking. It's 907 PM.

55:35

Our little boys asleep. So

55:37

we decided we would record tonight while

55:39

it's quiet and we don't get interrupted.

55:41

But there's just so much

55:43

more life outside. So if you're listening, you can

55:45

hear like little creaking sounds and frog

55:48

sounds and insects. It's just it's

55:50

like a symphony orchestra

55:52

true over the world life here at our house.

55:54

It's amazing. Okay. Anyway, have you got one? Well, I kind

55:57

of came back to Cauché

55:59

as as as

56:02

a

56:02

a shadow. This is

56:04

g rated around yes.

56:06

I've already gone there, but

56:10

Yeah. It's like that's that was that's something that I

56:12

brought up a lot in

56:14

my early work. Like,

56:16

I had a big piece around that.

56:20

sexual shadow. Okay. Sexual

56:22

shadow around

56:25

okay. Something that I

56:27

hide deny and

56:30

repressed. is

56:30

a performance

56:32

anxiety. That's something

56:34

that has been

56:35

a shadow of mine, something

56:37

that I've kept to myself in the

56:39

past -- Mhmm. -- that I

56:42

had a fear, you know, a sexual

56:43

shadow can be a fear

56:46

based thing. around,

56:50

yeah,

56:50

performance and, you

56:52

know, in inverted commas getting the

56:55

job done. And

56:57

my hang ups around

57:00

that where that shadow

57:02

influenced how I showed

57:04

up and sex

57:05

and intimacy which limited

57:08

me from that

57:10

that ecstatic

57:13

experience that's possible. that comes when you when I let

57:15

go. So do you feel like I'm I'm happy

57:17

with it? Yeah. Yeah. And and so that's to

57:20

me, that's what I'm talking about

57:22

with the symptom. Mhmm. So the

57:24

shame and and and the

57:26

the the story and then behind that, there's

57:28

a belief. that's

57:30

really where you wanna get to the belief

57:32

system.

57:32

But, yeah, the same thing that is being

57:35

pushed up in my head, being

57:39

overly calculated,

57:42

being performative instead of

57:44

authentic. Mhmm. So,

57:46

yeah, that's that's an example of something

57:48

that at at stage of my life, I

57:50

would

57:50

never have let out of

57:54

the vault. and since letting it out of the vault

57:56

and seeking

57:58

to understand it,

57:59

where does

57:59

it come from? Mhmm.

58:02

And then

58:04

exploring

58:05

other ways that

58:07

were outside of this

58:09

performative way of showing

58:12

up sexually. and discovering

58:14

new ways and, you know, that's been

58:16

a mess that's been massively liberating

58:18

and is massively exciting

58:22

because There is so much

58:24

gold in in

58:26

the letting go and

58:27

in the opening to all

58:30

of it. what the

58:31

side effect of that

58:32

of bringing it into the light was

58:34

was a whole lot of

58:38

emotional release

58:39

Yeah. Just

58:40

a whole

58:41

of emotional release.

58:44

And with that

58:46

came the the

58:48

ability to self express a lot

58:50

more. Yeah. To

58:52

self express things that were

58:55

outside of happiness

58:57

and rage, which I,

58:59

you know, when I was in my early

59:01

twenties, I was pretty much stuck in. I was

59:03

like one of the two.

59:05

Yeah. yeah, hopefully, that's helpful

59:08

as an example of

59:09

something that I've

59:12

put put effort into

59:14

integrating and it's been totally

59:16

worth it. It's it's been totally

59:18

expensive to do that. Thanks for

59:20

sharing. I love you.

59:22

Mhmm. I

59:24

appreciate you. Yeah. I was like, fuck. I was coming up with blank.

59:26

Yeah. I think, obviously

59:29

yeah. Looking in the m

59:31

m MA fifteen plus filing

59:34

cabinet.

59:36

Anyway, hopefully

59:36

that's helpful is what I'm

59:39

trying to say. What

59:41

do you think Why

59:43

do

59:44

you think you have that

59:46

performance anxiety? Why do you think

59:48

led to

59:49

that? Was it

59:51

like corn or

59:53

Was it

59:53

like, you

59:55

know, expectations that you felt

59:57

of yourself and women? Or

59:59

what was it? Yeah.

1:00:00

It was more okay. If it's

1:00:02

like what is it? I could say

1:00:05

what it was at that

1:00:07

stage of my life, like the influences that

1:00:10

I was around. But from this

1:00:12

more, like, developed mature point

1:00:14

of view of where I it It

1:00:16

really came to be

1:00:19

due to a

1:00:21

lack of sex education. I

1:00:24

think that's what it was. Like, culturally, there's just there

1:00:27

was nothing -- Yeah. --

1:00:30

institutionally, there was was

1:00:32

actually valuable. Catholic high school? Yeah.

1:00:34

For a few years. I was at a Catholic high

1:00:36

school. So yeah. And then there's,

1:00:39

like I said, looking

1:00:40

at those those

1:00:43

religious ideologies and,

1:00:46

yeah,

1:00:46

yeah values and

1:00:47

stigmas and to booths

1:00:50

that are still woven into

1:00:52

the fabric of our culture. So

1:00:55

there was

1:00:55

all of that. And then

1:00:58

so things like, you

1:01:00

know, the the full spectrum of

1:01:03

sex and sexuality in the

1:01:05

full integration of

1:01:08

the feeling body and the which

1:01:10

means the emotional body has to be

1:01:13

online, which means holy shit.

1:01:15

Now I'm actually in this place

1:01:17

of intimacy that is

1:01:20

beyond just physical

1:01:22

physical, like,

1:01:26

attractors. So

1:01:28

yeah and if

1:01:30

yeah. If it

1:01:30

was part of the conversation

1:01:32

from the get go, then

1:01:34

that would be the conditioning.

1:01:37

And and this will probably

1:01:39

segue into the next. Yeah.

1:01:41

That segue. Yeah. Into

1:01:43

the next pace. which

1:01:45

is Mhmm. So what

1:01:47

is leaky sexual energy?

1:01:48

I'm getting you to

1:01:50

do all the

1:01:51

talking today, actually. blah,

1:01:54

that's on you. It is. Well,

1:01:57

what's Well, my

1:01:59

my

1:01:59

segue will

1:02:02

this Let me let me segue and then

1:02:04

I'll put the the full stop there. The segue is if I

1:02:08

understood

1:02:10

consent more clearly.

1:02:12

Mhmm. That that

1:02:14

would have changed

1:02:15

things up as well.

1:02:18

Mhmm. And and

1:02:20

because consent includes self consent. Yeah.

1:02:22

Does does my body say

1:02:23

yes to this?

1:02:27

Full stop. Lakey sexual

1:02:30

energy.

1:02:32

The key

1:02:32

word here is energy.

1:02:34

leaky

1:02:35

sexual energy. So

1:02:38

let me do

1:02:39

a preface.

1:02:41

this it

1:02:43

Imagine

1:02:44

somebody. It

1:02:48

be fucking can be fucking

1:02:50

fictitious

1:02:50

character. It can be a Hollywood actor. It can be

1:02:52

somebody that, you know, that you walk

1:02:54

past. It can be, you know,

1:02:57

It can be a favorite porn star. It can be a stripper. It

1:02:59

can be who fucking whoever.

1:03:02

If they may, it could be could

1:03:05

be. I don't know what you're about to say. No. Somebody

1:03:12

who exudes sexual

1:03:13

energy. That's me.

1:03:15

That's Absolutely.

1:03:18

Well, sorry to hear that.

1:03:20

you could be just can for that

1:03:23

transmission that exerts a

1:03:26

mobilized healthy,

1:03:30

vibrant, activated, erase

1:03:32

sexual energy in their

1:03:36

body. And all I

1:03:38

need to do is walk down the street

1:03:40

and it's like, damn, I am

1:03:42

picking up on that. That's

1:03:44

fucking crazy. that

1:03:45

person, they're they're

1:03:48

circulating that sexual energy through their

1:03:50

body. They are enjoying themselves. They

1:03:52

are feeling pleasure right now. And

1:03:55

I am singing

1:03:56

that. I'm feeling that. I'm

1:03:59

I'm drawn. I'm

1:03:59

attracted to that. Mhmm.

1:04:02

So let's just use that as a bit of a

1:04:04

frame up. and

1:04:05

let's juxtapose that with

1:04:09

the the

1:04:11

person that

1:04:13

maybe you've encountered. at a bar or in

1:04:15

a club or even in a shopping

1:04:18

center or while you were at a bus

1:04:20

stop or a workshop or

1:04:22

a workshop. absolutely

1:04:24

oral workplace -- Yeah. -- super common.

1:04:28

Who

1:04:28

who is

1:04:29

exuding a a different

1:04:32

kind of sexual energy. Right?

1:04:34

And the word I'll use,

1:04:36

it has like a predatory essence

1:04:40

to it. It

1:04:40

has a just feels a

1:04:42

bit It's achy. Yeah. It's

1:04:46

achy and

1:04:48

it's it's penetrating

1:04:50

into your field. Mhmm. And

1:04:52

you don't want it there. Energetically. Energetically.

1:04:54

So that

1:04:55

would be the example

1:04:57

of sexual energy. There's something.

1:05:00

It's off. It's again,

1:05:02

to use that

1:05:03

word, it's itchy, but

1:05:06

but it

1:05:06

is icky because there's something predatory about it. And

1:05:08

what makes it predatory is

1:05:11

that there is

1:05:13

a taking aspect playing

1:05:16

out from that. However,

1:05:18

he's walking

1:05:20

around with that leak

1:05:21

in sexuality. They're taking

1:05:23

their vampire in -- Yeah.

1:05:25

in a

1:05:25

non consensual way. Mhmm.

1:05:28

And

1:05:28

it feels it can feel uncomfortable. It

1:05:30

can make something that can make my

1:05:32

skin crawl. If I'm around that,

1:05:34

it can It can re it's repelling. It's

1:05:37

very repelling. It's it

1:05:40

feels

1:05:40

I'm safe. Sometimes it

1:05:42

feels dangerous, it feels violating even. Like, it can

1:05:44

go really farthest leaky sexual

1:05:47

energy, and how how

1:05:50

it is embodied is different person to person, but it can

1:05:52

be like someone staring at

1:05:54

you while running that sexual

1:05:58

energy and It

1:05:59

can be somebody saying

1:06:02

inappropriate things. It can be

1:06:04

somebody making inappropriate

1:06:08

physical contact. It could

1:06:09

just be someone, you know, sitting in a classroom from you. And you

1:06:11

don't know what you don't know what they're thinking, but

1:06:13

they are thinking

1:06:15

about having sex with you and then you

1:06:17

pick up on that energy. Yeah. Yeah. So and then you just

1:06:19

feel uncomfortable. And it's because you're tapping into

1:06:21

the their leaky

1:06:24

energy. Yeah.

1:06:24

they're linking it by thinking about

1:06:26

fucking you -- Yeah. -- when they have

1:06:28

no consent to, you know -- Yeah.

1:06:30

-- think about that when in your presence

1:06:33

Yeah.

1:06:33

It can leak. That's the built form.

1:06:36

Total I mean, we've all done that.

1:06:37

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This

1:06:39

again, this isn't a shaming thing. So Oh, no.

1:06:41

It's not about bringing up conversation like

1:06:43

I actually the first time I learned about leaky sexual energy, I

1:06:46

was like,

1:06:48

oh, shit. I

1:06:50

had, like, a

1:06:50

bigger realization of, like, I've been

1:06:52

leaking it out my front center -- Yeah. -- especially

1:06:54

in my twenties -- Yeah. -- when I was in

1:06:56

night clubs, when I was at parties,

1:06:58

in workplaces, I was

1:07:01

just leaking the gay. Yeah. I

1:07:03

was just, like, fucking everyone I

1:07:05

could without actually fucking

1:07:07

them. and then realizing,

1:07:08

oh, that was really unhealthy.

1:07:10

And I don't know

1:07:11

whether it would have come a cock

1:07:13

across a cock. freudian

1:07:16

slip. I

1:07:16

don't I don't know whether it would have come across

1:07:18

as gen like as as

1:07:20

like creepy leaky like it

1:07:23

may, you know. But but

1:07:25

I think in my own way, I was

1:07:27

leaking energy whether people could tear up on

1:07:29

it or not.

1:07:30

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. would

1:07:32

you agree that you've linked sexually? Oh my god. Yeah. If

1:07:35

you're linking McGee, I'm linking

1:07:37

Madona, I'm second.

1:07:40

Have you worked? Have worked? Well,

1:07:42

I I am really

1:07:44

conscious of it now. I

1:07:46

try to be super, super conscious

1:07:48

and, you know, ask a question.

1:07:51

He said, like, is that the man I wanna be? Mhmm. You know, it's important

1:07:53

to me that people feel safe

1:07:55

in my presence. And

1:07:58

it's just not possible if I have this

1:07:59

ulterior motive or other agenda

1:08:02

playing out where it's like all in

1:08:04

my mind. right

1:08:06

now, you're fucking bent over

1:08:08

and blah blah, it's like, you know,

1:08:10

that's how I'm seeing you and I'm

1:08:12

projecting that onto you and I'm turning

1:08:15

you into that right now. Mhmm.

1:08:17

But, yeah, that's

1:08:17

again, it's like that's an

1:08:20

impact I don't wanna have to

1:08:22

make on someone non consentually. It's

1:08:24

kinda like this is the kind of the

1:08:26

thing I do for people visually or safe for people visually,

1:08:28

especially for men

1:08:31

who can't

1:08:31

quite grasp this or for

1:08:33

men and women who

1:08:34

a lot have been I've spoken to about, say,

1:08:39

confronted about their what I feel

1:08:41

is leaky sexual energy. It's like walking into a

1:08:43

room and

1:08:43

having a man stand there, but

1:08:45

women can also

1:08:47

have their energetic

1:08:49

cock, but -- Mhmm. --

1:08:50

and then standing there, instead of having their cock like tucked into their pants and down, it's

1:08:53

like having their cock

1:08:55

up and out.

1:08:56

and just pointing

1:08:58

towards you wherever you are in the room. Mhmm. And so if you think of it like that, that's kind

1:09:00

of how it feels energetically is

1:09:03

to have

1:09:03

a big erect

1:09:06

cock just throbbing in front

1:09:07

of you. Mhmm. But it isn't. And that's

1:09:09

the same with women too because we can,

1:09:11

you know, feel

1:09:13

into that. cock energy? Yeah.

1:09:15

Yeah. Totally. And women

1:09:17

are just as

1:09:19

guilty of this, I

1:09:22

think. for

1:09:22

sure. For sure. Yes. This is

1:09:25

not about this fucking leaky sexual

1:09:27

injury in men

1:09:28

solely. It's women too. So --

1:09:31

Mhmm. -- yeah. Okay. Well, that predatory kind

1:09:33

of, like, vampire thing that's

1:09:35

going on. It's like this coke

1:09:37

pointing at me. and I don't want it

1:09:39

to be. Yeah. But it's running at you

1:09:41

and you want it to be, then that's

1:09:43

a different conversation. Now it's all

1:09:45

you want. That's so central. You

1:09:48

take that card -- Yeah. -- and try that

1:09:50

card. Totally. Totally. Have a yeah. Point of luck. Have a have a wide save

1:09:53

of fucking I

1:09:56

don't. So what can people do if,

1:09:58

hey, we're gonna go two ways.

1:09:59

If really going to ways if

1:10:02

they feel like they feel like fuck.

1:10:04

I'm from leaking sexual energy or I have a little leaky sexual

1:10:06

energy. What can they do? And then we're gonna go to the opposite, which is what

1:10:10

can people do if they feel like they're a presence of someone leak leaky sexual energy.

1:10:12

Or if they've just had a big realization,

1:10:14

for example, fuck. This is my

1:10:15

boss. Like, this is what I'm living

1:10:18

with day by day. This is what

1:10:20

I'm

1:10:20

choosing to be in the presence

1:10:23

of. But we're gonna go to what Kensington would do if they feel like that

1:10:25

they feel like

1:10:27

this had a realization or they've known

1:10:29

for a long time -- Mhmm. -- for their leaking energy. Yeah. Like, if, again,

1:10:32

if if

1:10:34

it's been unconscious, it's been unconscious. You can't see what

1:10:37

you can't see. Where

1:10:39

I go to,

1:10:40

as you've probably

1:10:42

heard in this fucking podcast,

1:10:45

is is coming podcast in this particular part of the

1:10:47

episode. episode.

1:10:52

is become aware of

1:10:54

the impact

1:10:54

it's having. Mhmm. I think that's super important, because

1:10:56

I think for the

1:10:59

most part, people inherently aspire

1:11:02

to have a positive impact

1:11:04

in the world. Mhmm. So

1:11:07

just understand that,

1:11:09

you know, you

1:11:10

are potentially that guy or

1:11:12

that, you know, that that woman

1:11:14

or that person who people

1:11:17

are feeling icky around wherever that is. Peep that,

1:11:19

you know, people feel like you are

1:11:24

you're vampireing their energy anytime

1:11:26

they're around you. So just understand that's

1:11:29

what

1:11:30

it is. And then

1:11:33

comes in the self enquiring, the self assessment of, like, okay,

1:11:35

what is this about? Where did

1:11:39

I learn to suppress

1:11:42

sexuality like this? Or, you know, where did I learn to suppress my sexuality?

1:11:44

So it has to

1:11:47

come out in this shuttery,

1:11:50

leaky way. Mhmm. And then

1:11:53

there's the opportunity to do

1:11:55

your own work, to do your own

1:11:57

healing, to do your own integration, to be

1:11:59

able to

1:11:59

point your energetic cock up to

1:12:02

continue on with that metaphor. So then you

1:12:04

can

1:12:05

so then you can bask

1:12:08

in that

1:12:08

that sexual radiance

1:12:10

that I described with

1:12:12

that first example of the

1:12:15

person walking down the street.

1:12:17

They're not gonna have their cock up. No. No. Like,

1:12:19

up into themselves. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Not

1:12:19

now. So not so

1:12:24

much. Yeah. having have it, like, pointing up

1:12:26

from from your pelvis, up your spine through, you know, past your heart, up

1:12:28

into your head. Yeah. That

1:12:30

yeah. It's, like, pulling it instead

1:12:34

of pulling it up inward --

1:12:36

Yeah. -- enjoying the that.

1:12:38

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then

1:12:41

It's it's just something to develop. It's just something to cultivate is catching it when

1:12:44

it's out.

1:12:48

And then learning

1:12:51

how to bring it back in,

1:12:53

to bring it up -- Mhmm. --

1:12:55

and then notice what changes. Right?

1:12:57

So it's not like there's

1:12:59

gonna be less sexuality, there's not

1:13:02

gonna be less sexual connection in your life. I

1:13:04

am quite confident

1:13:06

in

1:13:07

saying if you are

1:13:08

emboying a healthy,

1:13:11

clean, sexual energy, you are

1:13:11

going

1:13:15

to put

1:13:17

out

1:13:17

a transmission that you've you've got that and you are safe and that

1:13:20

is quite magnetic.

1:13:22

Mhmm. You're likely gonna

1:13:24

pull pull

1:13:28

in. Will people feel safer in

1:13:30

that? Exactly. So it's far more

1:13:32

magnetic than Yeah.

1:13:34

Yeah. Yeah. So what can people

1:13:36

do if they feel like they're in the presence

1:13:38

of

1:13:38

leaky sexual energy on a regular basis? Or

1:13:40

if they walk into a

1:13:41

club next week and they're like, what I feel

1:13:44

comfortable. Yeah. Remake yourself

1:13:46

in a situation.

1:13:47

Yeah. That's an option.

1:13:49

That's Yeah. That's

1:13:51

just for the responsible

1:13:53

thing to say, you know, to to advise. Yeah. We don't wanna be. Yeah. Filling

1:13:55

out. You don't you don't need

1:13:58

to be

1:13:59

enduring that. energetic

1:14:02

protection is

1:14:04

something everyone can

1:14:07

and ought to

1:14:10

learn. So when I learn facilitation,

1:14:14

for example, and facilitating

1:14:16

so a tiny men

1:14:18

who might be moving some some

1:14:20

big fucking stuff or some big trauma.

1:14:23

We learned this technique where

1:14:26

we visualize a blue disc like

1:14:29

a blue

1:14:29

light that hovers above the

1:14:31

crown of the head. Mhmm. And you

1:14:33

really close your eyes and you tap

1:14:36

into that. and then

1:14:38

you progress that visualization to that that blue layer

1:14:39

by view.

1:14:44

surrounds

1:14:44

you almost in the shape

1:14:46

of a bell and you're totally encased in this

1:14:49

protective

1:14:50

blue light energy. is

1:14:52

this a guide of mister visualizations? Basically,

1:14:54

yeah, that's as simple as it needs to be though. Or you can even do a stand up and

1:14:57

try it right

1:14:59

now and feel feel

1:15:02

that protective light around you. So energetic protection. Mhmm.

1:15:04

And, you know, staying

1:15:06

in your power is really

1:15:08

autumn,

1:15:11

so you can put up energetic boundaries. That's possible as

1:15:14

well. Yeah. You can.

1:15:15

And people

1:15:17

feel that. People feel that. They're like, oh, I'm fucking

1:15:19

I'm walking away from that person. I was

1:15:22

trying to fucking stab him with my

1:15:28

energetic erection. Yeah. And now I'm

1:15:30

gonna avoid them, but, you know, all night because they put that boundary up. Yeah. That's

1:15:32

a really good one to learn

1:15:34

the energetic kind of boundary. Yeah.

1:15:38

It's in this this horrible downtick. So,

1:15:40

you know, like you described, you

1:15:42

have gone all the way through

1:15:46

with it. And kinda

1:15:47

loved on that that those people that had

1:15:49

leaky sexual energy and

1:15:52

just calm them out

1:15:53

on it so they can learn

1:15:55

Well, what I've come up against

1:15:56

in the work that

1:15:58

I've done and the

1:16:00

work that i've

1:16:01

communities that I've been

1:16:03

in is I have experienced, you know, being

1:16:06

in rooms

1:16:07

with

1:16:08

men

1:16:09

in particular who

1:16:12

have had sticky sexual energy. And so

1:16:14

what what I've done is, like, put up my

1:16:15

energetic boundary because I

1:16:18

can feel them just kind

1:16:20

of fucking me energetically. And

1:16:22

I'm like, no. That's not happening. So put up put, like, my, you know, bubble around

1:16:24

me or whatever

1:16:27

isn't been, like, right. you

1:16:29

know, shoulders back, confidence on, you're not fucking with me, like,

1:16:31

this isn't happening. I don't think any of this is

1:16:33

just like an

1:16:36

energetic thing. and then they feel that.

1:16:38

And then eventually, they they've actually I've been approached a lot and say, can I talk to

1:16:40

you?

1:16:42

I don't

1:16:44

understand.

1:16:44

something something happened and shifted

1:16:45

from the moment we met to what, you know, now I'm

1:16:47

like, well, this is what

1:16:49

I felt from you. So

1:16:52

then that's been an

1:16:54

opening for me to say, talk to about like energy leaking,

1:16:56

and I didn't want a part

1:16:58

of it. And then they've acknowledged

1:17:02

yes, it was. That's been one way that -- Mhmm.

1:17:04

-- because

1:17:05

they've been, like, a bit confused. Why didn't

1:17:07

she wanna why didn't

1:17:09

she start taking this? Mhmm. energy exchange that I

1:17:11

thought was gonna be an energy exchange, which it

1:17:13

wasn't. Mhmm. But then also,

1:17:15

I've just confronted people and said,

1:17:17

I don't feel comfortable like what's

1:17:19

going on and then it's

1:17:21

getting like a really nice conversation -- Mhmm. -- with

1:17:23

men because they open up about it

1:17:23

and then they realize, oh,

1:17:26

that's having an impact. time.

1:17:28

Yeah. There

1:17:29

you go. Not just

1:17:31

Juliet, but other women in the room. Yeah. Yeah.

1:17:34

So we could talk

1:17:35

about this a lot, but it's nine thirty

1:17:38

and I'm

1:17:38

kind of I'm

1:17:41

ready to enjoy some

1:17:43

some some light band. Have a four band.

1:17:45

Just just a small. Just a white band. Yeah. I'm ready to enjoy some colors with

1:17:47

you and all

1:17:52

that. So Is

1:17:52

there anything you'd

1:17:53

like to add to we could speak about leaky

1:17:55

energy, but also just any

1:17:58

of the topics or

1:18:00

anything? that we've spoken

1:18:02

about before we wrap up, Nick? No. Just just presenting

1:18:04

that it

1:18:07

was a really great

1:18:09

conversation and and and it was an overview more than

1:18:11

anything else

1:18:15

of of these

1:18:17

Yeah.

1:18:17

These things that we live amongst, cultures, sexual

1:18:20

shadow, leaky

1:18:24

sexual energy, it was

1:18:26

just bringing it to life, bringing up the conversation. This is a conversation that needs continue

1:18:31

and can be expanded on

1:18:34

and can be delved into more deeply. And

1:18:36

it's cool

1:18:37

to

1:18:38

think

1:18:39

that we can

1:18:44

together. Bring

1:18:44

this out of the shadow. This

1:18:46

stuff. So, yeah, I

1:18:47

think this is enough

1:18:49

of a, like, conversation starter. Yeah. I agree. I

1:18:51

agree. So tell people tell

1:18:56

people

1:18:56

about or

1:18:57

you've got your mentorship coming up -- Yeah. --

1:18:59

as an opportunity to work with you, but also

1:19:02

amplify. I'm excited about

1:19:06

am for five. You choose what you want. You can talk

1:19:08

about both of them. Yeah. Well, I'm

1:19:10

just kind of aware that yeah.

1:19:12

I'll talk about both of them. In in

1:19:14

a nutshell, let's not do the

1:19:17

wrong version. In a

1:19:19

nutshell. Yeah. Okay. what

1:19:21

is so we're talking about how you can work

1:19:23

with me. Mhmm. I already said

1:19:25

one

1:19:26

on one coaching. when

1:19:29

it's when it's open. Yeah. But that's not often because you get booked out

1:19:31

and -- Yeah. -- your books close.

1:19:36

Yeah. So I have

1:19:38

two offerings. I have a mentorship, which is

1:19:40

a three month journey,

1:19:43

and

1:19:43

it's fucking unreal.

1:19:46

run four of them already. The fifth one

1:19:49

will be launching February

1:19:51

twenty twenty three. And

1:19:53

It's a very

1:19:56

in-depth it's a

1:19:57

very in-depth journey. And

1:19:59

what

1:19:59

we go in-depth

1:20:02

into is you your personal

1:20:03

individual process. And we

1:20:06

also go in-depth on

1:20:08

core

1:20:09

i'm a whore tools

1:20:11

for lack of a better word. So, you

1:20:13

know, like self sabotage,

1:20:15

like sex and

1:20:20

intimacy, like communication foundations like mission

1:20:22

and purpose and legacy.

1:20:24

And this is for men.

1:20:26

This is for men only. And

1:20:29

they get one on one session?

1:20:31

Yes. One on one sessions and there's group sessions. So you you if

1:20:33

there's ten

1:20:34

people per intake, there's online

1:20:38

curriculum that you have access

1:20:40

to forever. It's it's

1:20:42

beautiful. It's very powerful container.

1:20:45

So

1:20:45

there's that. And then there

1:20:47

is Amplify, which is a offering

1:20:49

I've just launched. And what it is

1:20:51

is an online community.

1:20:56

And it's a

1:20:56

place to come, so really what I

1:20:59

wanted was to create a

1:21:01

space for men to calm

1:21:03

and sharpen their sword. So what

1:21:05

I noticed

1:21:06

is working with guys

1:21:08

in one

1:21:09

on one coaching or

1:21:12

mentorship containers workshops or whatever, they

1:21:14

would develop, you know, this powerful self awareness and all

1:21:16

of these, you know, really empowering

1:21:18

tools to to move forward with

1:21:22

and they would create an an

1:21:24

inertia and a momentum in their life.

1:21:26

And they the question would be

1:21:28

like, fuck, how do I keep

1:21:30

this going? And I was like, so I didn't

1:21:32

quite have something to offer

1:21:35

them. Amplify is answering

1:21:37

that call. But it's not just for men who've worked with you

1:21:39

anymore. It's not just it's for just any

1:21:41

men that many men that wants to sharpen their

1:21:44

sword and to keep sharpening

1:21:46

and to be in a community

1:21:48

of men who are

1:21:51

showing up and inspired to

1:21:54

explore and step further into their own potential and who understand that

1:21:57

they can't do

1:21:59

that alone. truly, you know,

1:22:02

the lone wolf isn't gonna come close to hitting their potential. Mhmm. So when we come

1:22:04

together as a group

1:22:07

of men in community, and

1:22:10

we hold each other accountable and we hold

1:22:12

each other in loving support and we share our own process

1:22:14

and we share our own tools and learnings and discoveries.

1:22:18

we

1:22:19

are supercharged. Mhmm. So

1:22:21

that's what Amplify is. It's an

1:22:23

online community for

1:22:26

men. you

1:22:26

can suss my website to learn

1:22:29

more about it, rhythmhealth dot com.

1:22:31

Don't you? Can you just

1:22:33

do a spelling of that? HYTHM

1:22:35

health dot

1:22:37

com dot a u. And what's

1:22:39

your install? Same. RhythmHealth, RHYTHM

1:22:44

Health? health.

1:22:45

That's what that fuck. Thank

1:22:47

you. I I personally like,

1:22:49

if I was

1:22:52

a guy, I

1:22:53

would be in all the things because, you know, the

1:22:55

feedback I hear from men personally who go through

1:22:57

your journeys of the mentorship,

1:22:59

but also amplified. has

1:23:03

been so epic. And not only is

1:23:05

it the feedback that makes me think,

1:23:07

oh, wish I could do that if

1:23:09

I was a guy. or if we sell something like

1:23:11

that for for me. But also,

1:23:14

I just see the work

1:23:16

that you put in behind

1:23:17

the scenes and the dedication

1:23:20

and commitment you have to each and every

1:23:22

person

1:23:22

that you work with and each group that you work with, and it's just phenomenal. Like, it's

1:23:24

it's above and

1:23:27

beyond and very impressive. and

1:23:30

something that I I just haven't actually witnessed before in someone is like your dedication to your work and

1:23:35

your purpose. So yeah,

1:23:37

if you choose to work with Nick, you're in very good hands and you

1:23:39

are a very priority of

1:23:44

his. So Yeah. Alright.

1:23:46

Well, thank you. Yeah. Thank you.

1:23:48

Mhmm. And

1:23:49

what were you talking

1:23:51

about the worksheet? So

1:23:54

what we'll do is at

1:23:57

the beginning of this

1:23:59

episode, I spoke

1:24:02

about in bed with which

1:24:04

is a brand new community and subscription

1:24:06

that I have created, and that I'm really excited

1:24:08

to launch the week that

1:24:11

this episode goes live.

1:24:14

And in

1:24:16

that, I will collaborate

1:24:18

with Nick on

1:24:22

a worksheet because in included in that subscription you

1:24:24

get

1:24:25

monthly worksheets that, you know,

1:24:27

support you to explore

1:24:29

your sexuality more,

1:24:32

your relationships, your relationship to sex,

1:24:34

intimacy, connection, etcetera. And so Nick and

1:24:36

I will work

1:24:39

together

1:24:39

on a worksheet that

1:24:41

I will put into the in bed subscription that gives

1:24:43

you an opportunity whether you're a

1:24:46

man or a woman or

1:24:51

other

1:24:51

to

1:24:52

to explore

1:24:54

your sexual

1:24:56

shadows

1:24:58

and understand

1:24:59

them more. And, yeah, I just

1:25:01

think it will be

1:25:02

a really valuable resource. So

1:25:04

rainbow fine we

1:25:06

will

1:25:06

do that and it will be in

1:25:09

in bed, the in

1:25:11

bed subscription,

1:25:11

I would say, early

1:25:14

two

1:25:14

thousand and twenty three. Are you up for that? Yeah. Yeah. I think it's

1:25:17

a

1:25:17

really great

1:25:20

night long. really. Yes.

1:25:22

Absolutely. Yeah. So if you do if you're keen to learn more about in bed,

1:25:25

it's a monthly

1:25:28

subscription. It's

1:25:30

only ten dollars a month. It's

1:25:32

incredibly affordable

1:25:33

for, I would say,

1:25:35

most people and

1:25:37

it is full

1:25:39

of epic

1:25:40

resources, lots of personal

1:25:42

shares from myself, worksheets,

1:25:44

exclusive authentic

1:25:47

sex podcast episodes, So this

1:25:49

is the

1:25:50

last episode of season six. I will not

1:25:53

be releasing

1:25:56

any new free

1:25:57

episodes for a while. All new

1:25:59

episodes of Authentic

1:25:59

Sex

1:26:03

for the next few months will be

1:26:06

published in the in bed subscription. So, yeah, if you're keen,

1:26:10

please go head to my website, you can read heaps more about

1:26:13

it, which is Juliet, JULIET

1:26:16

hyphen allen, a double

1:26:18

LEN dot com.

1:26:20

Thanks for listening. Thank you, Nicholas, for sitting

1:26:22

with me -- Mhmm. -- late into the night,

1:26:26

like

1:26:27

her experience. Yeah.

1:26:29

And I love you and I

1:26:31

appreciate everything that

1:26:32

you have to share and no doubt everyone listening will

1:26:34

do too. Yeah. Have me.

1:26:35

Thanks for listening. And

1:26:39

if you if

1:26:39

you loved this episode and you feel like there's a

1:26:41

man or men or women in

1:26:43

your life that could

1:26:46

benefit from this content because it

1:26:47

they are conversations like Nick said

1:26:49

that are not

1:26:50

had often if at all. then

1:26:54

share

1:26:55

it with your community or share

1:26:57

it with your friend or family member, whoever

1:26:59

it is because you have