0:00

This is the authentic sex

0:02

podcast and real life conversations about

0:04

sex, pleasure, and relationships. I'm

0:07

your host Juliet Power. Welcome

0:14

to you at the set number one hundred

0:16

and forty four of the Authentic podcast.

0:19

My name is Julia Allen. I'm a sexologist

0:22

and sex and relationship coach.

0:24

And today on the podcast, I have my

0:27

dear friend Alison Rice.

0:29

Alison is a conscious career

0:32

coach. She is an award winning

0:35

digital publisher. She's a business

0:37

quotes and she's a beautiful, amazing

0:40

leader. I met Alison when

0:42

I was a guest on her

0:44

podcast, which is called offline.

0:47

I then continued on to

0:49

employ Alison as my business coach.

0:52

And Alison has actually been on the show

0:54

a fair few times on episode

0:56

one hundred and three, one hundred and six,

0:59

one hundred and nine, and one hundred and

1:01

twelve, and today she is back. So

1:03

today, it's a bit of a mixed bag

1:05

of this episode. We answer your

1:07

question So I put a call out on

1:09

Instagram. I asked for questions.

1:12

You asked for some. We answered them.

1:14

So we are talking everything.

1:17

Business, to blow jobs,

1:19

everything in between. We talk about parenting.

1:21

We talk about golden showers.

1:26

We talk about family

1:28

life. We talk about Alison's relationship.

1:30

She's been in a relationship for thirteen years.

1:33

how what her challenges have been, what

1:36

the age gap is, which is interesting in

1:38

between her and her husband. and

1:42

how that's impacted the relationship in

1:44

a positive way. Yeah. It's just a

1:46

beautiful, I guess, a conversation between

1:48

two friends and I

1:50

hope that you really enjoy this one.

1:53

This episode of Authentic Sex is

1:55

sponsored by the Juliet Pleasure wand.

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dot juliet hyphen alan

2:20

dot com. Alison, I'm

2:22

so excited. I actually little goosebumps,

2:24

Jollison is back.

2:26

Welcome.

2:29

Jollison is back before

2:31

we start. I'd love to

2:34

acknowledge the gaticle people

2:36

of the

2:36

eorination and

2:38

pay my respects to their elders.

2:41

past, present, and emerging. And

2:44

with that, to share with you that

2:46

I have been so excited

2:49

to

2:49

record with you again. I think because, also,

2:51

we both haven't really been recording that much.

2:54

Mhmm. And then

2:55

to be able to do it again together, I think this

2:57

must be our fourth of its time now.

2:59

You know

2:59

what? I just I've got the notes

3:01

here. So you've been on

3:04

12345

3:06

So this is oh, no. Hang on. Now

3:08

you've been on four times, so

3:10

this is your fifth time on the

3:13

show.

3:14

The Jollison show. The Jollison show.

3:17

Yeah. I'm looking forward to just I mean,

3:19

we don't really have a plan. Do we just having

3:21

a good old chat and then answering some

3:23

q and a's from people that they submitted

3:26

on Instagram? beautiful.

3:27

I was actually reflecting this

3:29

morning, you know

3:30

what I mean? Like, we don't have a plan. We just

3:33

show up and talk.

3:35

I feel like it's such an

3:37

authentic

3:37

representation of our

3:39

friendship.

3:41

Yeah. Because

3:43

what I find so expanding about us

3:46

is we go all places in

3:48

every conversation. So we do business.

3:50

We do personal. We do

3:52

sex. We do live.

3:53

Mhmm. And that's

3:54

what I was singing this morning. I was like, well, probably just

3:56

it's

3:57

like we if we didn't have microphones.

4:00

Yeah. That reason. With interest. Yeah.

4:03

Todys, I don't talk about our sex life publicly

4:05

book. Yeah.

4:06

Okay. Well, we'll avoid

4:08

the

4:10

your sex act publicly. Well, I can

4:12

talk about my own sexual experience,

4:14

but this has been my big

4:17

learning is in

4:19

the past four years of

4:21

recording. Just

4:22

really now having a

4:24

profile acknowledgment

4:26

of

4:27

which story is a mine to tell. Mhmm.

4:30

So that's where I come on up from.

4:33

Yeah.

4:33

So I guess, before we

4:36

go into any storytelling, what

4:39

who

4:39

are you? Like, what are you what

4:42

are you doing? in the

4:44

world

4:45

right now. Just tell people a bit about you

4:47

for those who have not

4:48

experienced

4:50

you on authentic sex before or

4:52

perhaps Also, don't listen to

4:54

your podcast, which is called offline.

4:56

Who

4:57

am I? This is like one of the

4:59

The biggest question

5:01

is. Who are you today? Who am I today?

5:05

What I've been really unpacking myself actually

5:07

is what am I, which maybe we can get into,

5:09

but for my

5:10

who and son.

5:12

These days in the season,

5:14

I'm in

5:15

my mother.

5:18

Mhmm. first

5:19

and foremost to my little

5:21

girl Betty who is

5:24

coming up to twenty months old.

5:26

isn't it weird when you have a baby and then a

5:28

toddler and you're always talking in months and

5:30

not doing one and a half essentially?

5:33

I've really debate this

5:35

in my head. What do you want me to say?

5:37

How old how old is he? And I go, he's

5:39

he's nearly hang on. And I do like

5:41

calculations on my fingers, and I go, he's nearly

5:43

fifteen months. And then I think

5:45

He's

5:45

one. Why don't I just say one

5:48

local? It's funny. Yeah.

5:50

It's

5:50

says she's twenty

5:51

months. So she's twenty months.

5:53

So

5:54

so in the season, I'm in.

5:57

First

5:57

and foremost, I'm Betty's mom, and I'm

5:59

I'm

5:59

really deep in my motherhood

6:02

season and the role of mother. And

6:04

that's being incredible,

6:05

and then my professional

6:08

expression is a conscious

6:10

career

6:11

coach, a business coach, a leadership

6:13

coach.

6:14

broadcast host, all

6:17

my other labels,

6:19

friend, wife, to loving

6:21

Tony,

6:23

And, yeah, I think that's how I would talk about

6:25

me today. And I think that's been interesting

6:27

for me to explore just how those roles

6:29

shifted in different seasons and if

6:32

we had spoken,

6:32

you know, prebetti, of

6:34

course, I would have identified wholly

6:36

probably with my professional expression than

6:39

I'm than I know. These days, I'm really

6:41

feeling into mother.

6:43

Yeah. Cool. I

6:45

like that. And we met

6:47

when I was a guest on your podcast,

6:49

and I remember walking into that room in

6:51

Sydney and

6:52

just seeing you and it was like a while at first sight

6:54

and then we had that cup

6:55

of hot water together and bonded over the

6:57

fact we drink hot water.

6:59

It was a vast friendship. It

7:01

wasn't that like. One of those ones I

7:03

hadn't experienced in a long,

7:06

long time you

7:07

know, they're so fleeting

7:09

or few and far between is probably

7:10

the right way to talk about it. But

7:13

when you just

7:15

somebody walks in their room and

7:17

all

7:17

of them, their energy, their essence, you

7:19

just say, yep. Yeah.

7:22

It doesn't happen often. It's true.

7:25

One of the questions we have, we may as well answer

7:27

it now. It's a it's a bit random,

7:29

but it's how often do you

7:31

to see each other in person?

7:33

Okay.

7:33

I thought, never. We

7:38

are we are speaking and seeing each other soon

7:39

because they might be down and sitting. So

7:42

you

7:43

We will. Let's

7:44

make an effort. Of course, we will.

7:46

And I think our friendship is one of

7:48

those beautiful ones that just makes

7:50

use of modern technology, you

7:53

know, like voice messaging has been a

7:55

big part of our relationship -- Mhmm.

7:57

-- and how we kinda communicate with

7:59

each other

7:59

and giving each other a lot of

8:02

space

8:03

and grace just to respond when

8:06

we can. It's been such a -- Yeah.

8:07

--

8:08

a low maintenance friendship if I can call

8:10

it that in that. Yeah. I just

8:12

know you're in the thick of your motherhood

8:15

season and saw mine. We're building these beautiful

8:17

businesses, and we

8:19

relate on those themes, but there's never

8:21

any like on my caution right back to

8:23

me or haven't heard from her

8:24

or it's a

8:25

very easeful friendship,

8:27

but we talk I

8:29

would say, like, once a week, once a

8:31

fortnight, sometimes it's

8:32

full on and we talk heaps.

8:35

And

8:35

then

8:36

other times,

8:36

when we both know we're just basically

8:39

in the figure that it

8:41

might be, you know. But I don't think it's ever been

8:43

more than, like, two or three weeks, to be honest.

8:45

yeah,

8:46

we kinda touch base really

8:48

and then

8:50

occasionally have a really, really long

8:52

conversation.

8:55

Yeah. Yeah.

8:56

I'd like to listen to your voice messages in the

8:58

past.

8:58

But I was

9:01

like listening to my own podcast channel when

9:03

you send a long one. I'm like, oh, good.

9:04

I get my own personal one. But,

9:07

hey, how are you in total? You've been in a

9:09

relationship now?

9:10

We actually have

9:13

our ten year wedding anniversary

9:14

next year. Oh, wow.

9:17

And we've been together, I think,

9:20

probably like thirteen years. I think we got married about

9:22

three years after we after

9:23

we met. What's been interesting

9:26

this year is I'm

9:28

thirty seven.

9:29

and when

9:31

we met he was thirty seven.

9:33

Oh,

9:33

no. That's because we have the age gap

9:35

and I was twenty four.

9:38

Yeah. And so this year, I've just been

9:40

doing a lot of feeling into like

9:42

how

9:43

I am in my life. Now where I'm at in

9:45

my life is where he was at.

9:48

when he met the love of his life -- Mhmm.

9:50

-- and to try and reverse it. I'm like, imagining

9:52

they're a twenty four year old today.

9:55

a me

9:56

and -- Mhmm. -- how interesting

9:58

how that's, like, so

9:59

accepted from an old amount of pull

10:02

in love with a younger woman. But

10:04

if I turn around and said, you hate this, it's twenty

10:06

four year old guy in my life, and I love him. I'd

10:07

be like, you'd be

10:09

like, okay.

10:12

Is this a purely sexual thing?

10:14

Or, like, I just feel like, okay.

10:16

This is not blah. Exactly.

10:19

So let's talk about the age gap because people

10:21

actually asked me talk about it.

10:23

And I'm like, well, Nick, can I have a

10:25

six year age gap? He's six years

10:27

younger. But it's not I

10:29

mean, for some, that may sound like a big age gap.

10:31

But for me, I'm like, oh, it doesn't really

10:33

feel that

10:33

big. But I say, what's the age gap

10:35

between you and tiny? I

10:37

forgot to do this moment. I think it's thirteen

10:39

years. I just did the sum. I think it's

10:41

thirteen years. It is. Now I'm all mixed

10:43

up with many years we've been together

10:45

versus what the age gap is, I'm pretty sure.

10:47

Yeah. Thirteen years we've been together,

10:49

thirteen years between us. Yeah.

10:51

Yeah. and it is

10:54

the absolute foundational

10:56

reason that we

10:56

work.

10:58

Like For what

11:00

reason? I think so

11:02

many

11:03

women will identify with this, but

11:05

you also have a really interesting

11:07

perspective based on you yours being the

11:09

other way. So

11:11

obviously, like, there's something in Nick

11:14

that he is

11:16

in that highest day. He's done so much

11:18

self work that he meets you where you are. It's

11:20

a very kind of, you know, powerful

11:22

woman. Mine was, I

11:24

guess, the opposite with Tony where

11:26

I felt like I had that real maturity

11:29

young.

11:29

So

11:30

much of that was how I was raised, what I

11:32

went through in my childhood, that

11:34

almost

11:34

forced me to be very self

11:37

sufficient and very independent, and

11:40

very ambitious to change my

11:42

circumstances. Mhmm.

11:44

And so I needed actually

11:46

that older, wiser

11:49

man to meet me where I was. Mhmm.

11:51

And I had tried dating

11:53

men, my age.

11:55

them and it

11:56

just never felt like there was enough

11:58

self

11:58

assurance and

11:59

substance there. I wanted

12:01

someone to kinda mirror and match my competence

12:04

and he

12:05

was just this guy that just was

12:07

so just fucking

12:10

knew who he was and he

12:12

had a he still does have a very

12:15

specific way of being in the world. He's

12:17

unchanged in a

12:19

good way. thirteen years, I'm not saying no growth

12:21

at all, heaps of kind of self and

12:23

spiritual growth, but

12:25

still the same man who

12:27

just

12:28

Yeah. Very self assured, very confident.

12:30

Also, really good at what

12:33

he does, which was a massive turn

12:34

on for me.

12:35

is a creative director and he's very

12:38

well respected and he's just.

12:40

One of

12:41

the most exquisite designers, I

12:43

can't tell you like, what

12:45

he does when I look at his

12:47

work, I feel turned on, you

12:49

know. Love it. And

12:51

so I think that's that's a big one

12:53

for lots of people is to feel like turned

12:55

on

12:55

by what their partner, like their

12:57

purpose in the world or what they're doing for

12:59

work. I

13:01

think time is the same, actually, because

13:03

he's

13:04

obviously watched me

13:06

grow and

13:06

evolve and really come into my

13:09

come into my own professionally. and

13:12

also knowing that he was, like, a creative

13:14

director of, like, the financial review when

13:16

we met right. He was very seen

13:18

Back in the day when newspapers were like

13:20

-- Exactly. -- a thing. I think he had, like,

13:22

he looked on, like, nine in certain magazines. I

13:24

don't think any of them exist now. maybe

13:27

the film. But so

13:29

he's this kind of very senior, experienced

13:32

guy, and he's met this twenty four year

13:34

old

13:34

journalist. you know, who's

13:36

still kind

13:37

of finding her way, knows that she's got a

13:39

lot to give and wants to make an impact,

13:41

but hasn't yet made contact

13:43

with you

13:44

know, how she's

13:45

gonna give it. And so

13:47

he supported me through lots of

13:50

really kind of

13:51

ride

13:52

of passage rolls. Like, I was

13:54

the

13:54

sub editor on Foxtel Magazine. Like, he's

13:56

a sub the TV guide. You

13:59

know what I mean? And going

14:02

into, like, digital media in two

14:04

thousand and

14:06

eleven or twelve where it was very

14:08

new, and he was obviously in newspapers

14:10

and magazines. And he was like, oh, this is,

14:12

you know,

14:13

the blogging world at that time. I

14:15

think he probably thought, well, she's gonna give that a go,

14:17

but she's gonna end up in a

14:18

traditional media outlet, and that just never

14:21

happened. But I think

14:22

going back to that thing of

14:24

being turned on by what the other does --

14:26

Mhmm. -- what I'm experiencing

14:28

now,

14:29

but like over the last few years of me

14:31

really kind of stepping into my

14:33

professional

14:34

expression in the way that I do now.

14:37

I have witnessed him

14:39

witnessing me work.

14:41

and I've heard him talk about

14:43

my work and talk about what I do and

14:45

I see the pride on his

14:47

face. Yeah. And hear it

14:49

in his voice, and so I think that that's now

14:51

mirrored in that. You

14:53

know, I

14:54

can only do what I do, not only,

14:56

but a big part of it

14:57

is because he supports me so fully

15:00

to

15:02

succeed in what I'm doing.

15:04

Yeah.

15:04

And that's what a lot about you too is that you

15:06

really do I feel like support each

15:08

other in your professional

15:10

lives as well as in parenting and

15:12

all the things, family, etcetera.

15:15

But Yeah.

15:17

It's really good that you have that solid

15:19

kind of guy there. Your

15:21

husband, who's like, yeah, I like,

15:24

I'm here and I I

15:26

support you and I feel

15:28

inspired by you and and

15:30

vice versa between you both. I

15:32

think that's really important,

15:34

especially when you're running your own business

15:36

to have that support from a partner.

15:39

What what are some of the challenges

15:41

you face along the way?

15:43

What

15:44

do you say? Yeah. Yeah. In the

15:46

relationship. Not

15:47

professionally. Like, what yeah.

15:50

things that you're prepared to talk about obviously.

15:52

There's yeah. Well,

15:54

look, I think the

15:55

biggest one I

15:57

wasn't biggest, the main one. I think

15:59

there's only

15:59

ever been one kind of undercurrent is

16:03

my

16:03

absolute

16:06

thirst for

16:07

growth.

16:08

How

16:10

long?

16:12

You

16:12

know, I

16:15

I feel

16:16

like I've made contact with

16:18

what

16:19

I am and and why I'm here

16:21

and I'm starting to really understand what it

16:23

all means. on

16:24

different levels.

16:27

And

16:27

that

16:28

has made my ambition for

16:31

work, life, love,

16:33

super expanded. Like,

16:35

I I want a lot of

16:38

richness in

16:38

my life, and I

16:39

think he's a

16:41

really laid back beautifully

16:43

simple man. And I

16:46

think for him always has been

16:49

like, you

16:49

know, I just haven't stopped.

16:52

So what how does he does he experience?

16:54

I guess, you don't really wanna

16:56

talk

16:56

for him, but, like, how has that

16:58

been the challenge? Is it? Because you're always,

17:01

like, yes. I wanna keep growing and

17:03

expanding. And he's just like chill the fuck out

17:05

babe. Let's just go

17:06

to the pub, have a drink, have a

17:08

steak, and chill out. Like because I

17:11

can relate I can relate to this in, you know, in

17:13

past relationships. I can relate to

17:15

this. Yeah. So -- Yeah. --

17:17

it's more I

17:19

think it's a bit of that, but I

17:21

also love going to the pub and having a

17:23

drink lifestyle as well so there's, you know, that

17:25

part of me. That's

17:28

very relevant in our relationship as

17:30

well. And I always like to talk about

17:32

the relevancy of some of the

17:34

behaviors we have that as we

17:36

grow

17:36

spiritually and

17:38

professionally, sometimes we

17:40

can look at and be like, oh, is that kind of

17:43

like the

17:43

most evolutionary

17:44

thing for me to be doing

17:45

in this moment doesn't always have

17:47

to come. That doesn't always have to

17:49

be a moment for growth like

17:51

we need to remain

17:53

relevant and have that relateability.

17:56

And I love nothing more

17:58

than on a Friday now, my sister

17:59

call it Betty sitting because my little girl's

18:02

named Betty. Mhmm. She Betty sits, and we

18:04

go and have lunch at the pub, like,

18:06

have a stay. Oh, have a snip soul

18:08

and I'm a moderator and he has a beer.

18:11

Oh, I love it. You know, I love

18:13

that because you can be both. Like,

18:15

it doesn't Oh my god. Of course. You don't you

18:17

know, when you I didn't we identify as spiritual, I

18:19

don't think we need to be, like,

18:21

bombing, you know, five hours a

18:23

day and going

18:25

to yoga

18:25

and doing all the, you know, quote

18:28

unquote spiritual things.

18:28

I think one of the most spiritual things we

18:30

can do is be human

18:32

and great what we've learned

18:34

into everyday life and -- Exactly. --

18:37

enjoy, like, having a beer and, you

18:39

know, it you don't need to be vegetarian

18:41

and on a fast every

18:44

thirty three days to be spiritual.

18:46

It's like, you can enjoy

18:48

a steak, enjoy a margarita,

18:51

tap

18:51

the pub with

18:52

the rest of, you

18:53

know, the people in Bondi or

18:55

wherever you are. It's

18:57

that close. And you can

18:59

still be spiritual. That's right. I'm

19:03

We

19:03

all we all participate, I

19:05

think, in our

19:07

spiritual story lines, Eric.

19:10

expressions

19:10

in the ways that feel most relevant

19:12

for us. And

19:13

I think sometimes when

19:16

we depending

19:17

on who we're learning

19:18

under or what we're

19:19

guided by, there can be that misconception

19:21

that there is that really virtuous

19:23

kind

19:24

of road to enlightenment, but

19:26

my big belief is that same as you,

19:28

what you're saying, is that

19:31

enlightenment

19:31

is available

19:33

to us in every moment even

19:35

when we are at the

19:37

pub. You know what I mean? It's kind of it

19:39

is our kind of belief system and how we show up in the world. So

19:41

Mhmm. But, yeah, I

19:43

think

19:43

the thing with Tony and I, it's

19:47

more

19:47

about

19:49

my first fall

19:52

was pretty

19:52

intentional first for growth,

19:56

has made him reflect

19:58

on his own.

20:00

Mhmm. And so I

20:01

think that's the beautiful thing about -- Yeah. --

20:03

relationship business is

20:05

we witness somebody else

20:07

kind of following

20:08

that more dynamic path, then then

20:10

we start to look at ourselves

20:11

and go, well, Am

20:14

I growing? And am I

20:16

evolving? And and what does that look like? How is

20:18

that expressed in my life? And so

20:20

there's

20:20

been chapters in our marriage where that's

20:23

been really useful --

20:25

Mhmm. -- and fulfilling for both of us, and

20:27

there's been chapters where, you know, I'm

20:29

sure many people can relate to this where one person is

20:31

going,

20:31

you know, one way and

20:33

the other one might feel a little bit

20:36

more stationary.

20:37

Definitely. That's changed. That's kind of

20:40

we've swapped

20:40

roles in that in that time as well.

20:43

So so that's Ira can probably

20:45

be now if

20:46

there has been one more

20:49

challenging thing to navigate, it's

20:51

just trying to

20:52

maintain some sort of

20:55

sadness

20:56

of speed. Mhmm.

20:58

Yeah. I'm not

20:59

wanting to kind of

21:01

overtake

21:01

each other. If that makes sense, is I

21:04

ultimately wanna grow together.

21:06

Yeah. Exactly.

21:06

That's exactly what I was gonna say

21:08

is that the ultimate is that in

21:11

a

21:11

relationship, especially a long

21:13

term relationship, and I would call

21:16

thirteen years a long

21:17

term relationship.

21:19

The ultimate

21:20

is to grow together because if one

21:22

person is continually growing and the

21:24

other person is staying stationary

21:27

and not in your case, but perhaps

21:29

has no interest in any personal

21:31

growth. Then it's just

21:33

in my opinion and in

21:35

experience working with couples, it

21:37

eventually just it's not going

21:38

to

21:40

have long

21:41

term viability.

21:43

Would you

21:45

say viability? Yeah. Like, it's just and

21:47

and I've experienced that in past relationships where,

21:49

you know, when I was younger

21:50

where I was, like, so

21:53

keen to grow and spend

21:55

and learn and learn the meaning of

21:57

life and, you know, all that were in my early

21:59

twenties. And, yeah, relationship

22:01

broke down

22:03

because

22:06

my, yeah, partner at

22:07

the time was in a different phase

22:09

than why, which was okay, but

22:12

I was going at the speed

22:14

of light and they were --

22:17

Mhmm. -- weren't. And,

22:19

yeah, it just were in very different

22:21

seasons. So it's nice to

22:23

hear that you guys have even though

22:24

that's been a challenge at some stages,

22:27

you're still together and you're

22:29

still working together and like working

22:31

with each other's state. Is that I

22:33

think acceptance is key in that

22:35

too sometimes? Yeah.

22:36

And I think that's the type of thing actually

22:38

is.

22:38

A lot of acceptance

22:41

The

22:41

main thing for us has been,

22:43

they're coming back together

22:45

and having

22:46

the conversation of like, what do we need? What

22:48

does our family need?

22:50

i'm especially

22:52

because I am feeling

22:55

really expanded.

22:57

maintaining that kind

22:59

of present moment awareness. because you know

23:01

as you grow and

23:03

you start to gain that kind of more zoomed

23:05

out perspective of what

23:07

the fuck we're all doing here.

23:09

I think you do have

23:11

to kind of work at keeping the feet

23:14

on the ground. a

23:15

bit. And that's kinda been our biggest thing is

23:18

making sure we come back together.

23:21

And, you know, we we

23:23

have the two of us is individuals, and then we have our family,

23:25

obviously, Betty is an individual now, and then

23:27

we have our family unit and just making sure

23:29

that we're tending to the family unit.

23:32

as

23:32

priority. Yeah. And then

23:34

making sure we have the freedom for our own

23:36

growth within that

23:38

kind of little

23:39

nucleus, I guess. Yeah. And that

23:42

seems

23:42

to keep us ticking along. And

23:45

but right now,

23:45

we feel

23:48

god.

23:48

Just so happy. Like,

23:51

no. We're just so

23:53

happy. Like, we just wanted that little

23:55

girl so bad. and

23:57

she

23:58

is just

23:59

goodness like

24:02

just cute and sweet and

24:05

fun and really watching our assets in the

24:07

moment of just like, oh my

24:09

goodness. Like,

24:10

everything she was learning at day care through

24:12

the books and stuff, I could see her

24:15

kind of making the connections.

24:16

Yeah. And

24:18

so that was really beautiful.

24:19

I

24:20

wanna get to the q and

24:23

a's. Okay. Because it's

24:25

gonna open up maybe

24:27

some other kind of shares

24:29

along the way. And I want your

24:31

opinion. This one's actually really

24:33

good because I would like

24:35

to hear opinion opinion on

24:38

this

24:39

from the stance

24:40

that you've been in a marriage for

24:42

ten years and it's you're

24:44

still together, so obviously you're doing something

24:47

right. So this one is I'm gonna

24:49

read it out. It's quite long. My current partner

24:51

and I had been friends for four

24:53

years before getting together as a couple earlier this

24:55

year. I know I'm in love with him as

24:57

a person. His presence and love for me is

24:59

so beautiful, unconditional, and

25:01

I am attracted his energy and

25:04

presence. But I don't

25:05

find him attractive physically and

25:08

I

25:08

never did find him attractive hence

25:10

our long friendship. I guess I've

25:12

fallen in love with who he is over

25:14

the years. The emotional

25:16

connection we have and the safety and

25:18

presence in love I feel from him is what

25:20

turns me on and makes

25:22

me unattracted to him, but sometimes I look at him and I'm

25:24

not attracted at all. I

25:26

know looks fade and I feel emotionally

25:28

met and I feel bad even saying

25:31

this sometimes I do wish I had the physical

25:33

traction attraction there as well.

25:35

Feel free to kick my ass

25:37

and don't hold back if you think I'm being

25:39

a total dick and just need to stop

25:41

being superficial in this way. Would

25:44

love to hear your thoughts on this. I love

25:46

that last sentence. She's like

25:48

she's like,

25:48

go for it. I'm like, oh,

25:51

okay.

25:53

What's your old? this

25:57

is a question for a

25:59

a

25:59

sex sex

25:59

sex sexologist, not a

26:02

professional coach. But I suppose I'll just

26:03

get my personal this to

26:07

me, it goes back

26:08

to the what I've

26:10

been heard described

26:14

as the social

26:15

show the

26:16

hypnosis of social conditioning, I think,

26:19

in that somewhere

26:20

along the way we

26:23

received this conditioning that starts to

26:25

bed down as a belief

26:27

that our

26:28

partner in

26:30

life and long has to take

26:32

every box and

26:33

has

26:34

to fulfill

26:37

every part of us and the work that I've

26:39

been doing on myself is

26:41

making contact with myself as the fulfillment

26:43

I seek. Mhmm. And

26:46

then a relationship being a

26:48

productive outlet for that

26:50

fulfillment. And so that

26:52

takes all of the focus of what

26:54

he needs to be for

26:56

me because I

26:57

am that for myself.

26:59

on some level, not every day all the time,

27:02

but more and more. It

27:04

allows me to just yeah,

27:07

come into our relationship and our marriage with

27:09

no kind of expectations

27:12

of he needs to be XYZ He just

27:14

is what he is. and

27:16

the more accepting of that I

27:18

can be, I think, the more love I fall

27:20

into, I think. But then

27:22

I

27:22

guess it always

27:24

also comes down to

27:26

finding entry

27:29

points to exploring his

27:30

body. I think would be something that I

27:33

would be doing is,

27:35

you know, you love

27:36

his essence and you feel emotionally safe

27:39

and could

27:40

want for nothing else, honestly, to have

27:42

somebody we love that, we feel held

27:44

and supported by that is the ultimate, the

27:46

number one, because, you know, looks do

27:49

fade. I think it is really important we have a physical

27:51

attraction. Mhmm. You

27:52

know, because that Like, what

27:53

would you do if Tony was just, like,

27:55

you just found him really unattractive. Would you

27:57

be with him?

27:59

like

27:59

seriously with him. Like, it's you know,

28:02

let's be honest. Like because

28:04

you you know, Tony's I mean, you

28:05

find Tony

28:06

in attractive van. I actually find Tony

28:09

in attractive to men too. Like, he's, you know, he's he's

28:11

an

28:11

attractive man. So yeah.

28:13

How would you

28:13

feel if you looked at him every

28:16

day? and you were like, oh,

28:18

well, I guess Not

28:19

including him. Is I feel like

28:21

it's kind of oranges and

28:23

apples, isn't that because what

28:26

she's expressing is they were

28:27

friends for four years. So what she

28:29

had was four years of building

28:31

a relationship with the essence

28:33

of him his character and his words and the way he

28:35

speaks and his mannerisms and -- Mhmm.

28:37

-- you know, I met Tony in a

28:40

pub in

28:41

Newtown. and

28:42

we looked at each other he looked at me from across the room

28:44

and I said,

28:44

I'm not interested in it. That's

28:49

another story, but we, Al,

28:51

our kind of meat cube was physical if

28:53

that makes sense because it was kind

28:55

of that was what it was. So

28:57

I feel like it's not one that I

29:00

could say in the

29:00

way that we met. It

29:03

was,

29:03

first and foremost, about

29:04

physical attraction, but that

29:07

is not what

29:07

it is today. I think we've both

29:10

said this to each other that we feel like we

29:12

are getting better with age. If that makes sense,

29:14

like -- Mhmm. -- as I love.

29:17

you know, sitting more deeply in my essence and my

29:19

body. And at twenty

29:21

four, I

29:21

absolutely wasn't. But what I

29:23

would be

29:24

doing now is I was her,

29:26

like, my advice would be

29:28

to really feel into that

29:31

conditioning and that that

29:33

sort of seem to have better down as a belief that this

29:35

person needs to be all these different things

29:37

for me. Right. And then I

29:39

would be seeking

29:41

to just law,

29:43

his physicality and,

29:45

you

29:45

know, finding entry points to

29:48

fall in

29:48

love with it and honor it and appreciate

29:51

it and because it is the vessel that

29:53

holds this beautiful man in the relative

29:55

world, isn't it of like? Mhmm. So that

29:57

he can support you and he can love you and

29:59

he can be that for you.

29:59

This is the body that enables

30:02

him to do that. And

30:03

so can

30:04

we show it

30:05

some love and and

30:07

respect and but then

30:09

also

30:09

like, I just don't believe that it

30:12

has to be this

30:14

person needs to be our emotional

30:16

safe place, our physical safe place,

30:18

our a lot of fucking ask of

30:21

one person and what what

30:23

she has is the most important stuff

30:25

I reckon, which is

30:27

You

30:28

yeah know? I

30:29

agree. personal pace and stuff. Yeah. You

30:31

what do you mean? Well,

30:32

I agree, but I'm gonna kind of

30:34

go the opposite just kind. You've gone

30:37

IIII hear what you're

30:39

saying and I think what

30:39

your profit is beautiful. I know all

30:42

the experts. no. Like, come on.

30:44

You know, I think yeah. You know,

30:46

I'm the, you know, quote

30:48

unquote, sex

30:48

and relationship coach, but it's

30:51

really nice TR

30:52

yeah reflections from

30:54

different people, whether they're an

30:56

expert or not, especially

30:59

women or men like

31:01

you who have been in a long term

31:03

relationship because you there's a

31:05

a richness there like you've had

31:07

the experience

31:08

of being

31:09

in that long term container with somebody.

31:12

So I love I love hearing what you shared

31:14

and I

31:14

think it's really valuable.

31:18

So in her last sentence, she

31:21

said, don't hold

31:21

back if you think I'm being a total dick and just

31:23

need to be stopped being superficial. And what I

31:25

would say to that is, like,

31:29

you're not being a dick

31:30

for really

31:32

seriously considering whether you're attracted

31:34

to your now partner.

31:36

you know, you've

31:37

gone in from friendship to partner

31:39

kind of relationship. It's

31:42

okay to, like, value feeling

31:44

attracted to someone I

31:46

think it's really okay to want that

31:48

in

31:48

a relationship and desire

31:50

that because it's really possible

31:52

to have that. And

31:55

so my advice, it's it's

31:57

a hard one and I really think lots of people

31:59

are going

31:59

to relate to this because lots of people do

32:02

form up with their best friend. And they

32:04

have this really strong heart connection

32:06

and, you know, I speak about the four centers.

32:08

So what I would assume with

32:10

this woman is she

32:12

has the, like, the head is like, yes. Like,

32:14

he's your best friend and he's amazing and

32:16

then her heart's like so turned on and

32:18

like, oh my god. he I feel so

32:20

safe and there's so much

32:22

love pouring out between

32:25

their hearts. But then

32:27

her intuition is probably like,

32:29

oh, but Yes.

32:30

But, like, I

32:32

want I want it all.

32:35

Basically, I want the

32:35

attraction and then a sex center would

32:38

be off. if

32:38

she's unattracted to him. So

32:41

it's like can you be

32:43

can you commit to

32:45

being in a relationship with somebody

32:47

who you don't feel that sexual attraction

32:49

to? Like, how important is it for

32:51

you to have the

32:53

fireworks and the passion and that

32:56

know, he

32:56

walks the door and you're

32:58

just like, yum.

33:00

No matter what

33:02

age because looks

33:04

fade, but I think I

33:06

don't know. Like, I think Nick's I'm

33:09

always gonna wanna find Nick

33:11

attractive. Like, I

33:12

find him attractive when he looks tired and cross,

33:15

you

33:15

know, angry. And

33:17

that's chemicalism. That's the other thing.

33:19

Yeah. There's, like, something more

33:21

than thermostats. Yeah.

33:24

So yeah.

33:26

It it's a it's

33:28

a tricky one, but I don't think you're being

33:31

short answer. I don't think you're being superficial at all, and I

33:33

think you'd seriously need to consider how important

33:35

it is

33:35

for you to be in a relationship with someone who

33:37

you also haven't really great.

33:40

chemistry

33:40

with? because that in my opinion

33:42

is

33:42

very important. Important. So you'll say

33:44

that's really about

33:45

priorities and preferences. Yeah.

33:47

because some people They're

33:50

happy to to be in love with their best friend

33:52

and cruise through life, not really

33:54

having much chemistry there.

33:57

Like, because they you know,

33:59

sex is lower on their list of

34:01

priorities. Like, whereas for me,

34:03

I need that instant attraction.

34:05

I need really great sex. I need someone to be able to

34:07

really meet me in that way. That's

34:09

a really top priority for

34:11

me. But for some others, it

34:13

isn't, and that's

34:16

completely okay. There's no right and

34:18

wrongs. Yeah. So only

34:19

she'll know. Only she'll know.

34:21

I have

34:22

to interrupt this episode to let you know

34:24

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35:15

hyphen a LEN dot

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com.

35:19

Okay. Your name?

35:22

No.

35:22

No. It was a good one.

35:25

So this next one, I'm being I

35:27

need to be mindful of time too. So

35:29

I think we're gonna go more

35:31

short sharp first

35:33

instinct answers so we can get through a

35:36

few.

35:36

Are you telling me to talk less?

35:38

Yeah.

35:38

Just not usually hit. I'm

35:41

gonna respond. That's not my not

35:43

my brain. I know. I'm like boom. Boom. Boom. Sometimes, sometimes,

35:44

I just I know,

35:47

but I also want

35:50

I

35:50

wanna answer a fair few questions.

35:52

So can

35:53

you challenge yourself

35:56

to put all

35:57

your wisdom

36:00

into what is

36:00

required of me in this moment is to

36:02

give sort of sharper answers, and

36:04

I will meet you there.

36:07

the Wonderful.

36:08

Thank you.

36:12

So

36:12

this one is

36:14

I'm communicating with a

36:16

NASA cystic x who talks down

36:19

and is very disrespectful. Do you have any

36:21

tips on softening and dropping into heart space quickly

36:23

in a short amount of time

36:25

because he snaps and can be impolite. I still need

36:27

to effectively communicate whilst I'm triggered

36:30

and threatened. What should I do

36:31

when communication is not with someone

36:33

who I trust? I am

36:36

this is a

36:37

this is a hard one. I'm I'm

36:39

wondering why if they're an

36:41

x and they're

36:44

being disrespectful

36:45

and you don't feel safe and you

36:47

don't feel heard why, and

36:49

I'm speaking directly to whoever asked us,

36:51

why you're still choosing

36:54

to spend time with that person.

36:55

Maybe they make a child or

36:58

something. Perhaps -- Yeah. -- they're

36:59

financial

37:00

or sorting out the house or

37:02

a house We

37:04

don't

37:04

know. And that's Yeah. And that's

37:06

the tricky thing with q and a's is

37:08

that I don't know. It's

37:10

a context, so I can't go

37:14

into, like, coach client mode

37:14

because I don't have, you know,

37:16

I don't have the answers to

37:19

the questions.

37:20

But Well, you can see that

37:22

lens. We can assume that

37:24

it's

37:24

a short term challenge,

37:26

so

37:27

we can go into those conversations

37:29

knowing that this isn't

37:32

gonna be depending if

37:33

there's child involved probably, but if there's more

37:35

kind of financial house splitting of assets or

37:37

something like that. then

37:39

we can reframe it to say this is such a short term

37:41

series of difficult conversations

37:43

in my life. And I think even

37:45

coming at them from that

37:48

place of this isn't

37:49

gonna be forever. But

37:50

for my kind

37:52

of shortened shop advice,

37:54

it's gotta

37:55

be something that might

37:58

feel a little bit triggering or I

37:59

don't want it to come across as

38:02

bypassing the

38:02

the pain and frustration

38:04

of those moments, but I personally

38:06

would just do

38:07

my best

38:08

to experience his innocence. and

38:10

come to the conversations from a knowing that he is in

38:12

a lower state than me and

38:14

that he is

38:15

not as capable as

38:18

I am to hold what we're

38:19

holding or we're trying to hold

38:21

and move through. And I would

38:23

try

38:23

and kind of

38:25

view

38:26

him and see him from that place and

38:28

that would be the way I would soften in the moment

38:30

and drop back into the

38:31

heart is just this is a

38:33

very

38:34

kind

38:36

of mentally sick person

38:38

who is

38:39

probably operating in a lower state than I

38:41

am likely is What do you

38:43

mean by lower state? Well, you

38:45

know, if

38:45

someone who's doing a lot less, the way she framed her question, you

38:47

can tell she's doing

38:48

a lot of her own self work,

38:50

the language that she used, You

38:54

can see that she

38:55

is putting the work in, I guess, and she

38:57

is seeking to evolve in

39:00

no doubt. there's some

39:01

part of that relationship that's broken down

39:03

because of that difference in state because

39:05

I think we talk about,

39:07

you know,

39:08

like, emotional stuff we talk about, physical stuff,

39:10

but how often in relationships do we talk

39:12

about? Do our inner

39:15

belief systems actually align,

39:18

which is really what our state of consciousness is.

39:21

And if she says he's

39:22

a narcissist and has listed some of

39:24

those things, then we have to assume

39:27

that he's operating at a lower state of consciousness than she

39:30

is. But that's an assumption,

39:31

and I'm gonna challenge that. I don't

39:34

like the the use of the word

39:35

lower because We

39:38

I don't Well,

39:40

I feel like we're all equal in our

39:43

Like, it makes

39:44

it it's like there's this like,

39:46

oh, you're down here and I'm up here, and

39:48

I'm more evolved than you. But really,

39:50

like,

39:51

I think that's a prediction. What

39:53

do

39:53

you mean? I

39:54

think that is a projection

39:57

oh of

39:58

what that lower and

39:59

higher means. Yeah. Well, yeah. Maybe my decidedly.

40:02

That's not what it is from my

40:04

perspective. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. language.

40:07

Yeah. But also, I

40:09

mean, I guess who are we to know? He

40:12

what the situation is.

40:14

Again, it's really hard to know.

40:16

But I

40:18

would It's hard to know both sides.

40:20

I don't want to assume he is a

40:22

narcissist. Maybe he isn't. Maybe she is

40:24

the narcissist

40:25

who knows. Like, we don't

40:28

know.

40:28

So yeah.

40:31

I reckon

40:32

it's one of those ones where we can only

40:35

respond from the

40:36

inquiry that we have. And

40:40

with

40:40

this sort of thing, there's gonna be which

40:42

is so much of the work that I do in the

40:44

professional space I host and facilitate is

40:47

we have to

40:49

make we have to

40:51

take

40:51

some assumptions.

40:53

come to

40:54

some conclusions to get people

40:56

into I just, I

40:58

think, a more expansive state of self

41:01

inquiry and reflection. I think

41:04

it's asking a lot of

41:05

us in the coach space to

41:07

answer from a place of having

41:10

every single details.

41:10

That's right. That takes it out of actually what, like,

41:12

a q and a is.

41:14

So I

41:15

think there's, like,

41:18

assumptions

41:18

that aren't designed to be malicious in

41:20

any way, but based on for

41:23

me, it's always responding

41:24

from the

41:26

inquiry I'm receiving in the language, in the use of

41:28

language to make some assumptions about

41:30

the work that that person may

41:33

be doing on themselves. and

41:35

trying to

41:36

feel into that quality

41:38

of them and respond

41:40

from that place. But

41:42

I

41:43

would say to her seek more

41:44

support and that's what she's doing by asking

41:46

this question, but finding

41:48

someone in your life

41:51

who can professionally support you. So whether

41:53

it's a coach therapist, mentor,

41:55

somebody who can hold

41:58

space for you to unpack

42:00

how you can best communicate with

42:02

this x. Because I don't

42:04

think we can do it alone, and I don't

42:06

think we can do it

42:08

based on the answer to one q and a,

42:10

either it's like I know

42:12

from experience of of

42:15

past relationships

42:16

and x's and all

42:18

sorts that I couldn't have got through some

42:21

difficult times without having mediators,

42:24

without

42:25

having my therapist, without

42:28

having you as a professional

42:30

coach, all the things

42:32

to help,

42:33

like, support me.

42:35

to

42:35

communicate what I need, you know.

42:38

And so, yeah, get some support.

42:40

That's that's how I'm going to

42:42

wrap this one up. Thanks for bearing

42:44

with us, everybody. I

42:46

think we're

42:46

doing well. I think we're doing

42:48

well too. Okay. Let's

42:50

change the tune. Do you find golden

42:52

showers turn on?

42:54

No.

42:58

Personally,

42:58

I don't. No. Neither

43:00

do why. But you know what?

43:02

I'm just gonna say, I've never

43:04

I've never had

43:05

someone pee on me. Like I haven't said,

43:07

let's try this. I've never had

43:09

a lover say. golden shells are a turn on for me.

43:11

Can I pee on you? Mhmm.

43:12

So but I

43:14

can imagine when I'm

43:16

feeling into it, it just there's

43:20

not there's nothing in it for me. Like, my body doesn't go,

43:22

I'm curious. Let's try it.

43:24

I would, though, however, if

43:26

I had a lover who said, this

43:29

is my thing, can I pee on you? I'd

43:32

definitely let them pee on

43:34

me. I'd just be like, I'd try it.

43:36

I wouldn't say it was a, you

43:38

know, like a regular thing, but I'd be like, okay. If you wanna pay on me, like, it's just

43:40

pee. I'm not afraid of pee. If it

43:41

was pee, I'd be a

43:43

hard out no. So

43:45

the answer

43:47

is no. We don't. I definitely

43:50

got with a baby, the toddler

43:52

I've built

43:54

tolerance,

43:54

the poo.

43:55

Do you know what I

43:58

mean?

43:58

Yeah.

43:59

Oh. Just so quickly.

44:02

Yeah. Just really in relationship with poo, a multiple

44:04

times truth of the

44:06

day. No. That doesn't mean that I

44:07

desire that in my in

44:10

the bedroom. I guess this is

44:12

interesting, isn't it? because it's

44:14

like, can we really say that

44:16

we're not into something if we haven't

44:18

experienced it? Like, can we --

44:20

Mhmm. -- can we, again,

44:22

on the assumptions, assume that because we

44:24

don't get that kind of inner turn on

44:26

when we think about

44:27

it. Mhmm. or

44:28

do we actually find out

44:30

in the experience of it? What

44:32

do you think? You know, I hear

44:34

what you're

44:35

saying, and I actually think

44:38

It's

44:38

a good point to make. Like Like to try

44:40

everything once

44:40

and decide from their time. Maybe or

44:42

we decide to do on this. Maybe maybe I'll

44:44

try it. Maybe I'll be like Nick.

44:47

So,

44:47

Alvin, how to discuss

44:49

this question? Yeah. Julie, it's

44:51

gonna report back. Okay.

44:53

I'm gonna report Now I think he'll be, like, babe,

44:55

like, if you want a camera, like, he's not really into it either

44:57

we've discussed it. But,

45:00

yeah, maybe

45:00

in the moment,

45:03

could

45:03

be different. I'll get back to

45:05

you

45:05

on that. Yeah.

45:08

Next

45:08

question.

45:10

What to do when your partner is

45:12

undecided on children and you were in your late thirties.

45:14

I I can talk to this

45:16

because I've been in that exact situation.

45:19

Yeah.

45:20

Okay. This

45:21

is what I

45:21

did. I

45:23

wanted a baby. I think I've

45:25

spoken about this and Nick

45:27

won't mind me. speaking about it. I wanted to have

45:29

a child with Nick. He wasn't ready. He was

45:32

completely committed to me, but

45:34

he wasn't ready to family

45:36

and he didn't know when he would be

45:38

ready and he just didn't really have the

45:40

answers. This was at the start of

45:41

our relationship. I

45:43

would

45:43

have been

45:46

thirty

45:46

five, so mid thirties.

45:48

And so

45:51

I was very like, I

45:54

knew that I wanted to become a

45:56

mother again. I already had my daughter, and I

45:58

knew that I wanted

45:59

more babies. And so what

46:02

we did to work through

46:04

it was iasted my ground and said

46:06

this is really important to me and

46:08

this is a non negotiable for me is that I

46:10

want to have more children and, you know,

46:12

I'm gonna be nearing into my late

46:14

thirties and I don't want to

46:16

have them too

46:18

late so we don't need to do it

46:20

now, but I need to know you want

46:22

to. And so what that force

46:24

Nick to do was have to really

46:26

inquire into

46:28

his reasoning behind being undecided and

46:30

forced him to do a lot of

46:32

self work and processing with mentors,

46:36

therapists, etcetera. to get to the

46:38

bottom of how he was feeling and

46:40

why he didn't have an answer. And it

46:42

was a really challenging

46:44

time, and it did eventuate

46:46

in a breakup for a

46:48

really short amount of

46:50

time. So because we got to a

46:52

stage where he didn't have an answer, and

46:54

I said, It's

46:55

not good enough. I wanna

46:57

know. So let's have a break and

46:59

we had a break

47:00

slash break up. And then

47:02

in that time, he have

47:04

this full realization that that is

47:06

what he wanted. And so we

47:09

got back together and we made

47:11

a plan like a timeline. So

47:13

it wasn't what he he couldn't say, yes, let's

47:15

do it now. But he was

47:16

like, okay, in two years time.

47:18

I'm like, yes, you

47:20

can we can start. That's what

47:22

we did. But it was it's the biggest challenge we've had in our

47:25

relationship for sure was that. And now, you know,

47:27

he's a father and we have

47:29

sold, and he's just so enamored with

47:31

soul slash obsessed. And we're

47:34

gonna have more babies, and that's exciting.

47:36

And so

47:38

but

47:38

it took a big long process. So what

47:40

to do, I'd say, stand your ground, like,

47:42

if you as a woman have this deep

47:45

journey and knowing that you wanna become a

47:48

mother or that you want more

47:50

children, then

47:52

follow

47:52

that. And if that means that you feel that for yourself. Yeah. Yeah.

47:54

And if that means that he's not the

47:56

right man or they're not the right

47:59

person for

47:59

you, then

48:02

because it could

48:02

be a woman too. So I shouldn't It's hard in there because it's

48:05

like you

48:05

don't wanna let go of the love, but you don't

48:07

wanna let go of that inner knowing

48:09

and desire

48:10

to

48:12

to be a mother

48:13

for the first time or second or third time. I

48:15

think that's a really hard one,

48:17

isn't it?

48:18

because you so essentially, you

48:20

you you

48:23

created space for

48:26

reflection and but that's risky. Right? because you could

48:28

have lost him. in the process, but you

48:30

ultimately I was willing to needs

48:32

more than yeah. Yeah. I

48:34

just I I knew that my

48:37

deep like, the my womb

48:39

was

48:39

yearning to to

48:42

be creating life

48:42

again. And that that yearning deep

48:45

in my womb

48:46

was,

48:48

like, that was

48:50

my I couldn't not honor

48:52

that. because

48:53

I could have continued in the relationship

48:55

not knowing. But every single

48:57

month when I bled, I would

48:59

just go into this,

49:01

like, process around the

49:03

uncertainty of whether I was going to

49:05

have more children. And I just couldn't be in

49:07

that limbo. I needed to know. So I

49:10

was willing to risk it. Yeah. I

49:12

had

49:12

yeah had one

49:14

one. It is.

49:14

I've got a good one here. Both you

49:16

both of you this is

49:18

fast. Both of you with little kids.

49:20

How do you get along with friends that

49:23

don't have kids? It's a good

49:24

question. Interesting one. For

49:27

me, it's about

49:29

i'm coming

49:30

to every moment just understanding what

49:32

part of me is required here and

49:35

some friendships

49:36

with goals

49:39

and guys who don't have kids don't

49:41

want kids or aren't there yet or

49:44

whatever. I just have an awareness

49:46

that that's not the most relevant thing for me to bring

49:48

to this moment. Doesn't mean the whole friendship

49:50

rides on us relating

49:52

on that thing because I have

49:54

you and other friends where I have

49:56

that connection. And so

49:58

again, just not needing one

49:59

person to fulfill every

50:02

kind of requirement of, like, things I

50:04

wanna have conversations about or what I'm going

50:06

through in my life. fifth. And then

50:08

I would also say just quickly the seasons of

50:11

just knowing friendships have seasons

50:13

as well, and sometimes when we're deep

50:15

in that parent who don't

50:17

motherhood season, we have a little bit of,

50:19

I think, really healthy distance from some friends

50:21

while we kinda navigate that

50:23

time. And then we

50:26

beautifully, hopefully, come

50:27

back together again and we relate on something else. Yeah. I

50:29

like that.

50:30

Friendship's

50:31

do have seasons. It's

50:33

funny the last few weeks I've bumped

50:36

into all these old friends that I'd lost

50:38

contact with, like, four different women and

50:40

they've all had kids since. And so

50:42

we've all worked up reconnected.

50:44

They Yeah. I'm fully reconnected. And

50:46

I I and yeah.

50:48

So I have lots of friends who don't have children. I

50:50

probably have more friends that don't have children

50:52

than friends who do. So

50:56

I get along with people who have kids and people who don't have kids.

50:58

I just

50:59

it's like what you said, you

51:01

know, if I come together with a friend

51:03

who doesn't have children,

51:06

We

51:06

talk about other stuff, which is fun because I don't wanna talk

51:08

about nappies and all the time sleep

51:12

routines. all day. It's

51:14

actually boring. It's like I can chat for

51:16

a bit with with other moms about that. But

51:18

you and I'll go

51:18

on to one for a bit and then we'll move on to

51:20

something else. It's like, oh, yeah. It's like there's so much more in my life just

51:22

poo y nappies and mothering

51:24

like I, you know, so

51:29

It's

51:29

my answer. I love my my non

51:31

kid friends. Yes.

51:34

And that allows us

51:37

to be a non

51:37

kid person at the moment as well. Yeah. It's

51:40

like it's you get to tap into something.

51:42

It's brand individualism and

51:44

like the fun and the

51:46

play of not having the responsibility in that moment

51:48

and but I would also say to

51:50

her if if you

51:52

don't have friends

51:54

who you relate to who have do you know what I mean? If you

51:56

don't have those relationships, I

51:58

would

51:59

absolutely demand

52:02

for myself, like, to find people who I can.

52:04

Who have children?

52:05

Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. How good is

52:08

it? How does it

52:10

just, like, to have that friend or friend -- Yeah. -- when you call

52:12

and just quickly voice message you and be

52:14

like, how the hell

52:16

did you deal with solids? This is for, like,

52:18

I'm sleeping

52:20

up. fifteen times a day and you're like, oh my god.

52:21

How bad is that? You know, like, just the most

52:24

boring mom conversations to anyone

52:26

who

52:26

isn't a mom. They're just like,

52:28

oh, moms stop. And

52:30

then all the moms listening are just like

52:32

all the moms are just like, oh, yeah.

52:34

Mhmm. Yeah. You have to. Next

52:37

question. What's been the most important decision you've made in

52:39

your career? Shneeshka

52:42

Bumps.

52:43

career all month. Have we

52:45

got five hours in your

52:47

career? And

52:48

she she put in brackets both, so she must be

52:50

asking us both. So can we do the

52:52

short version. I'm just checking

52:55

the time.

52:56

I

52:59

guess it was

53:01

leaving

53:01

a job

53:04

that on the outside was

53:06

perfect and was the dream job and

53:08

everyone told me not to

53:09

leave, I was on pretty good money

53:11

had a lot of influence

53:12

and access. The

53:14

best

53:14

decision I ever made was honoring

53:17

the call to evolve, knowing that it

53:19

was not serving me. taking a

53:21

leap even though was losing my

53:24

mobiles. And

53:24

my my book

53:26

damn is the best thing I

53:28

ever did because it's got me

53:30

where I

53:30

am today, but it took the courage in

53:32

the moment to say, no.

53:35

the, you know, the highest part of my nose. So

53:38

I've got

53:38

to act from that place.

53:41

Yeah. That's cool.

53:42

So scary. So

53:44

scary and scary for

53:46

years afterwards as well. It's not like

53:48

it was a thing that I took the

53:50

leap and then the fear went away. I

53:52

then you're sitting in the fear

53:54

of what have I done, you know. Mhmm. I

53:55

love that.

53:56

Mine would be

53:59

well,

53:59

there's two.

54:02

there's

54:02

like the one where I was working as a youth worker

54:04

and I wanted to take

54:06

the leap into psychology

54:08

full time.

54:10

And I was humming and raring

54:12

because I'd let go of, you know,

54:14

the money as a youth worker, not that

54:16

it was great money at all. But it was, like,

54:19

regular income each week. And I took the

54:22

leap, and that's when my career took off.

54:24

So that was the best decision I could

54:26

have ever made.

54:28

And then The second one would be just recently

54:30

selling yen and letting go of

54:32

that big, yeah,

54:33

that company.

54:34

And you

54:37

know, making a decision to prioritize family and

54:39

rest and procreation and family

54:42

family family.

54:44

Like, for me right I'm And

54:46

so selling that business very

54:48

recently was the best thing.

54:51

Just the best.

54:52

the then yeah,

54:54

a lot less responsibility and financial pressure

54:56

and all sorts. So

54:58

good.

54:58

The courage once again

55:01

Yeah. It was

55:02

big,

55:04

but

55:04

I can't swing through these.

55:07

Question.

55:09

like

55:10

short response, Alison.

55:12

I like short response. I should do this

55:14

more. I like the short response, Jalison.

55:17

Jalison. Okay. Okay. Let's do a

55:19

couple more. Okay.

55:21

The

55:21

next question is, what are

55:24

the similarities between growing your

55:26

business and

55:27

raising children? wow.

55:30

I know. What an interesting one? I

55:32

wouldn't put the two in the same

55:35

sentence that has kind of made

55:37

me think, oh, what are the similarities. Are

55:39

you in your business and

55:40

raising children?

55:43

What's your

55:44

answer?

55:46

I guess,

55:47

for me, depending on the way you do business is not what you

55:49

believe in how you run your business and how

55:51

you shop as a parent. So

55:54

it's like, first for

55:55

me is beautifully like

55:57

an

55:57

aspirin place that says they're very aligned

55:59

for me, so the way

56:02

I parent is very

56:03

aligned to the way I run my business if that

56:05

makes sense. So I come to those

56:07

things from the

56:08

same state once again in

56:10

place. And so

56:12

that for me comes down to really the

56:15

need of the time

56:16

I think is the similarity

56:18

is in any moment with

56:20

Betty, I'm really just

56:22

responding to her needs

56:24

and

56:25

in my business. I'm

56:28

responding to the need of the time as well

56:30

through the way that

56:31

I serve.

56:32

So I think it's a

56:33

lot more moment to moment than

56:36

what I thought it would have

56:38

been for both, to be honest.

56:40

Mhmm. So trying to keep

56:42

that present moment awareness as a parent

56:44

versus be projecting

56:46

into, like, but she's two and then which is two and a half. And then --

56:48

Mhmm. -- in the future, we're just trying

56:50

to give her the highest

56:52

cold of me in very

56:54

moment and then same with the business

56:56

is not getting too

56:57

overwhelmed with where we're gonna

56:59

be in twelve

57:00

months or where we're gonna be

57:02

in two years, and it's more about how do I show up today,

57:04

bring the highest quality of me to

57:05

the community, to

57:06

the people I'm serving,

57:08

and know that ultimately

57:11

that's enough

57:11

because that is all that's actually required

57:14

is that moment to

57:15

moment action, aligned

57:18

action versus or

57:19

sorry, right action -- Mhmm.

57:21

-- versus living in an idea

57:22

of the future.

57:24

Yeah.

57:27

That's

57:30

a

57:30

good one. I can just think the only

57:32

similarity I can think of off the top of my

57:34

head is like for me, what's important right now

57:36

is some structure around time. So

57:38

for me, like, I know my work

57:40

days and I also know my days

57:43

where I'm just fully present with soul

57:45

and with me and knowing, like,

57:47

having that structure

57:48

has really helped me and it's also helped my

57:52

relationship because we

57:54

understand, okay, Wednesday is your day with

57:56

him. Like, that's Nick and Salt's day. So

57:58

it's like, that's your day and that's my

58:00

work day. And so

58:02

knowing when my work day is

58:04

and when my parenting tesa

58:06

has helped me compartmentalize

58:08

the two and not have the

58:11

two come together in an unhealthy way, like

58:13

yeah. So that's that's my, like,

58:15

short, sharp answer that I can think of off the

58:17

top of my

58:20

head. Let's change the tune a

58:21

bit, couple more, and then we'll wrap

58:23

up. Thoughts on when a guy pushes your head down

58:25

to give him

58:28

a blowjob? Oh,

58:28

that I'm not

58:30

laughing at the question. I'm

58:31

just laughing at the Yeah. There's one

58:34

trust

58:34

between the questions. Between the

58:38

two. from from business to blow jobs. You know,

58:40

when

58:40

when you said it,

58:42

I had a that

58:44

sort of visceral experience

58:46

of having had that to Mhmm. just our soul a bit,

58:49

doesn't it? Something about it -- Mhmm.

58:51

-- that in the wrong

58:52

that in the wrong

58:54

context

58:54

perhaps with the wrong person, it feels really

58:57

derogatory.

58:58

Mhmm. So

58:59

that's kind of

59:00

what it, I think, going back to my own

59:04

kind experience of that

59:06

knowing

59:06

the relationship I was in and

59:11

yeah, that

59:11

it wasn't obviously the right relationship

59:13

with me, for me. That's what

59:15

it kind of brought up in in me.

59:17

So

59:17

I just feel like it just touches part of

59:20

us that like we feel

59:22

a bit disrespected, but there's gonna be some

59:23

people

59:26

that you're

59:26

and act

59:28

with where you want that from them as

59:30

well. Yeah. When that when that person is someone

59:32

who in your everyday life has full

59:34

absolute love and respect

59:35

for you, and then you go into

59:38

that beautiful role playing in the

59:39

bedroom of wanting to be, you know,

59:41

kind of, I don't know, pushed and

59:44

and prodded a bit. So that's what came up for me.

59:46

Is it really depends on the actual person, doesn't it, and what

59:48

your own relationship represents outside of

59:50

that act, when that

59:52

thing when

59:52

that thing happens. Yeah.

59:55

That's the perfect answer. It really depends

59:57

on the context. Some people love that,

59:59

and the others don't, and it depends on who

1:00:01

you live and how you're feeling, how safe you

1:00:03

feel and all the things. And what I

1:00:06

would do if it doesn't feel like something

1:00:08

that feels nice for

1:00:10

you and you feel

1:00:12

disrespected or is to communicate that. And that's

1:00:14

where we just go back to really

1:00:16

clear communication to when when

1:00:18

it comes to anything in life, but sex

1:00:20

is like, you know, like,

1:00:22

I don't feel comfortable when you push my head

1:00:24

down. Please don't do that. That's a boundary for

1:00:26

me. Like, I love giving for example,

1:00:28

I love giving you a head job.

1:00:30

However, when you push my head down, I

1:00:32

switch off, I feel unsafe, I

1:00:34

numb out, whatever it

1:00:36

is. And

1:00:38

I

1:00:38

don't I don't want that to happen anymore.

1:00:40

So please don't do it. So it's like foundry

1:00:42

setting if it doesn't feel good.

1:00:45

And

1:00:45

on the contrary, if it's something that you

1:00:47

think is you're listening and you're like,

1:00:50

oh, I'd like that. That kind of turns me

1:00:52

on, then communicate that.

1:00:54

You know? such

1:00:56

valuable scripting.

1:00:58

That's what people really

1:01:00

get

1:01:00

so much from is when

1:01:02

especially

1:01:02

in in the realm of sex, like,

1:01:04

as a sex coach, when you

1:01:05

can actually

1:01:06

offer the language to use in

1:01:07

the moment, I

1:01:09

think that's so valuable. So

1:01:11

thank you. Other people get a lot from that.

1:01:14

Yeah. It's

1:01:14

an important one. I could

1:01:15

write a

1:01:16

book.

1:01:18

and it would just be like all different things that you can celebrate. so

1:01:20

well because people when I tell clients

1:01:22

like, okay, this is how you

1:01:25

could perhaps phrase it.

1:01:27

They're like, oh my god. Hang on. I need a pen and paper. This

1:01:29

is perfect. This is perfect. Yeah.

1:01:32

Okay. Let's do one last

1:01:34

one and then we'll wrap up.

1:01:38

What daily

1:01:40

small rituals are important to

1:01:43

you? I'm

1:01:44

gonna rephrase it -- Yeah. -- to make it on topic for

1:01:47

authentic

1:01:47

sex podcast. What daily small

1:01:49

rituals are important for

1:01:51

you to feel

1:01:54

to feel like pleasure but not sexual pleasure. It can

1:01:56

be any type of pleasure and just to feel like

1:01:58

more in your body and connected to

1:02:01

your sexual self. Mhmm.

1:02:03

That's what I've already

1:02:06

framed.

1:02:08

Yeah.

1:02:08

I guess the first theme, which

1:02:10

I and I spoken so much about in

1:02:12

our other episodes and my own podcast

1:02:14

is just maintaining my

1:02:17

meditation practice. Mhmm. So every

1:02:19

day if I can

1:02:22

touch down on the truth of what I am and just experience

1:02:24

that essence level and

1:02:27

then

1:02:27

popping out of that meditation

1:02:30

and then being in the

1:02:32

world from that place.

1:02:34

That makes me feel

1:02:36

really just connected

1:02:38

to me. And and

1:02:40

then, I

1:02:41

guess, there's, like, there's a sensuality in

1:02:43

that of that feeling of.

1:02:46

Yes.

1:02:46

Like, just really in

1:02:48

the body, I guess, in the spirit but

1:02:51

in the body. Music has been

1:02:53

a big one for me. Actually, more

1:02:55

in my motherhood season

1:02:58

than before four. Mhmm. I literally, with audio,

1:03:00

I think you'll agree that when you have your own

1:03:02

podcast, you very, really listen

1:03:04

to podcasts. because

1:03:06

it feels a bit like work or just for

1:03:09

me

1:03:09

anyway. And so music has just

1:03:12

been huge for me since I had

1:03:13

Betty and I've just didn't

1:03:15

realize how much of a sort

1:03:17

of, I don't know,

1:03:20

conduit it was to

1:03:22

sensuality

1:03:22

and spirituality. I just had never

1:03:24

experienced in that way before, but quite

1:03:26

like soft, mantra based music.

1:03:28

And right now, you'll see more

1:03:30

of my beautiful marmades around my

1:03:32

neck. I'm doing a job of practice of

1:03:34

forty days, and that's another one where

1:03:36

it's not daily. I do them in, like,

1:03:38

you know, probably three a year. I

1:03:41

feel very sensual in a

1:03:43

forty day jumping to me

1:03:45

because it's like

1:03:47

just running my

1:03:48

thumb over the beads and

1:03:50

reassigning the men trial, like,

1:03:52

there's

1:03:53

something very so and sweet natured

1:03:55

about it. That kind of me into tunes me to that, I guess. So so I

1:03:58

think

1:03:58

that's my meditation,

1:03:59

music, Java.

1:04:02

those.

1:04:04

I think that's

1:04:06

it.

1:04:06

And then maybe

1:04:07

one more actually is

1:04:09

just Tom.

1:04:11

Food. Yes.

1:04:12

You know, is like

1:04:15

just really nourishing and

1:04:17

enjoying and no guilt

1:04:19

of just like eating

1:04:21

what I want intuitively.

1:04:24

That

1:04:24

helps me kind of, I think,

1:04:27

just feel

1:04:27

better in my body, which again leads

1:04:29

to that kind

1:04:31

of sensuality.

1:04:32

Yeah. I love those

1:04:33

answers. What's

1:04:35

yours? Well, right

1:04:37

now, I feel like

1:04:39

I don't have it. rituals that I

1:04:41

do every day because I'm in well,

1:04:44

like we keep saying

1:04:45

deep in the motherhood season, which

1:04:47

for me isn't always predictable

1:04:50

and it's definitely not

1:04:51

in my control in

1:04:53

many ways. But what

1:04:55

I find really

1:04:58

useful to drop into my body is a sauna.

1:05:00

We have an infrared sauna downstairs, and

1:05:02

it's the best investment we've ever made.

1:05:05

So on I'd say I'd say probably

1:05:07

two to three mornings a

1:05:10

week, Nick will have salt, and I

1:05:12

will go down, turn it on, heat

1:05:14

it up, putter about

1:05:16

and then I go down when it's hot and

1:05:18

I just sit in the sauna for about forty

1:05:20

minutes and sweat and it's

1:05:23

quiet and it's hot and no one

1:05:25

can find me there. It's like cutting under our

1:05:27

house and it is

1:05:30

the best.

1:05:30

So that's one ritual. Solitude

1:05:33

as well. Solitude. It's so good

1:05:35

and I can even hear when they're

1:05:37

coming down the stairs. So Nick

1:05:39

actually really respects my my solitude.

1:05:42

And so he actually, I

1:05:44

think, never really

1:05:44

comes down and goes, hey, how's the

1:05:46

sun going? I do it a bit more. I'm

1:05:48

like, hey, baby. When are you finishing?

1:05:50

But he doesn't. But

1:05:52

sometimes I can hear them coming down

1:05:55

the stairs. So it's like I just

1:05:57

have Yep.

1:05:57

Solaji, which is

1:05:58

really important for

1:05:59

me. So that's that.

1:06:02

And then my

1:06:04

daily cacao, Yeah.

1:06:04

So we now put it mixed down. Oh, well, I put,

1:06:06

like, medicinal mushrooms in there. I put

1:06:08

reishi in there, which is really good for

1:06:12

rest. And I

1:06:14

swear all the

1:06:16

ratio I've had since

1:06:18

before pregnancy contributed to

1:06:21

souls sweet, soft, relaxed

1:06:24

nature.

1:06:24

Mhmm. Did you know

1:06:26

in China? This is a I

1:06:28

know this is a long answer now.

1:06:31

they say

1:06:31

that they call

1:06:33

so

1:06:33

if a mother has consumed reishi

1:06:36

mushrooms through

1:06:38

her pregnancy, they say the baby always comes out really chilled and they

1:06:40

call them reishi babies.

1:06:42

Wow. And so they encourage

1:06:43

mothers to

1:06:46

consume reishi. So I see Chinese medicine. Yeah.

1:06:48

So eat

1:06:48

before I can

1:06:49

eat salt, I was on reishi anyway

1:06:52

because I love it. And then I had it all through

1:06:54

my pregnancy.

1:06:56

all the way. I still have

1:06:57

it, and he's just the nice chill baby.

1:07:00

So, yeah, I have my

1:07:02

kakao.

1:07:03

What else? What's

1:07:04

for another thing? Walking? You do

1:07:06

a lot of

1:07:07

nature works. Well, I just walk

1:07:10

around

1:07:10

the neighborhood really here.

1:07:12

It's like we live in

1:07:14

the country. So there's heaps of different farm animals and

1:07:16

there's barely any cars. And I

1:07:20

just but I've always loved walking. So even when Millie was

1:07:22

young, I'd walk along the beach path

1:07:24

every day. And it's like

1:07:26

just my moment to get it out and

1:07:28

I take the crab

1:07:30

and he just looks at all the animals

1:07:32

and eats his bikinis or whatever. Mhmm.

1:07:34

And I just chill.

1:07:36

Sometimes I'll call you or call, you know, my

1:07:38

mom or another friend and

1:07:40

have like a combo

1:07:41

where I'm not

1:07:43

interrupted. But

1:07:45

I find that really allows

1:07:47

me to,

1:07:48

like, round myself. Yeah.

1:07:50

So walking sauna chocolate

1:07:53

hop liquids,

1:07:55

chocolates,

1:07:55

so good.

1:07:58

Yoda did the other

1:07:59

night my periods

1:08:02

due today.

1:08:04

name I, for

1:08:06

the

1:08:06

first time, I actually people gonna be

1:08:08

like, oh my god, I did

1:08:09

this all the

1:08:12

time. I ordered,

1:08:14

like, ice cream

1:08:16

and from

1:08:18

milk milk journal, you

1:08:21

know, There's not

1:08:22

a no crime advertising but, like, you know, those ones that deliver in ten minutes? No. I don't. I don't in

1:08:24

a city. I

1:08:26

leave

1:08:26

that's right. Farm cows goats

1:08:30

around me and there's not even Uber Eats and it's

1:08:33

really, really annoying on Friday. I just have

1:08:35

this line. Yeah. This

1:08:36

I was just lying on the lounge watching

1:08:38

Tilly with pony, and I was like, I just need. Like, you know,

1:08:40

we had dark chocolate in the fridge. I was

1:08:43

like, I don't want that. You

1:08:45

need the real shit. You don't want to

1:08:47

just like, keep me sugar.

1:08:50

I want maltese. Yo.

1:08:52

Do you love maltese? Have we

1:08:54

had this combo in my dining room?

1:08:57

I

1:08:57

love the teasers. I can eat a whole packet.

1:08:59

So I ordered a big pack of all teasers and, usually I buy the

1:09:02

very kind of

1:09:03

virtuous like chocolate,

1:09:07

you know, the pound of chocolate or the

1:09:09

ice cream. And I call it

1:09:11

Ben and Jerry's. Oh,

1:09:12

I just thought this is

1:09:14

you know -- Good morning. -- in dolls and

1:09:16

first world problems, but, like, just one

1:09:18

of those moments where I just

1:09:21

need I just need

1:09:24

this this indulgence right now.

1:09:25

And I just went for it

1:09:27

and I loved

1:09:29

it and I just felt

1:09:31

I thought about it. I'm all for

1:09:33

it. I'm

1:09:33

gonna have some more tests today. It's one

1:09:35

of those days. Well, I finished

1:09:37

my last two yesterday. I was

1:09:39

like, well, that's glass too, god. I just had a

1:09:41

mine Down a packet. Would you get a family pack? It was

1:09:43

like, this big, it was like, huge. And I've

1:09:45

just been chipping away

1:09:48

at it. And then last

1:09:50

night, Tony was like, hey, there's only two left. I said, they're mine. Don't

1:09:51

Something I would do.

1:09:54

Alright.

1:09:54

Let's wrap it up.

1:09:58

Thanks

1:09:58

so much. Thanks for

1:09:59

coming on. Thanks for taking time out

1:10:02

of your day. Thank you for offering

1:10:04

your words,

1:10:05

reflections. Yeah. I really I really like

1:10:08

hearing what you have to say

1:10:09

because it's not always necessarily what I

1:10:11

would have to say

1:10:15

or the advice I would have to offer and I like that because

1:10:17

if it was just me giving advice,

1:10:19

you know,

1:10:21

people

1:10:22

would be like, oh, same old Juliet, the twice. Same. But

1:10:24

but this will

1:10:25

be I hope what we,

1:10:27

at the very

1:10:29

least, model today,

1:10:31

is that you

1:10:31

can also maintain really beautiful friendships with

1:10:33

people that you don't

1:10:34

a hundred percent agree with

1:10:37

everything that they

1:10:40

Hell yeah. dual thing. And this is

1:10:42

a really healthy thing for us to model a little bit of, I guess, conscious communication

1:10:44

and speaking

1:10:47

our truths even though the other one might not agree with

1:10:50

that. And important for anyone

1:10:52

listening who is wanting to,

1:10:53

like, seek help and external

1:10:56

advice is This

1:10:57

is really what the process is, is finding someone whose advice feels true

1:11:00

to you. It

1:11:01

doesn't mean the other

1:11:03

person's advice is wrong.

1:11:06

it

1:11:06

just means that that sounds like the truth

1:11:09

to

1:11:09

you. And so you learn from them

1:11:11

and

1:11:11

you allow yourself to

1:11:13

be guided from them, but any,

1:11:15

I think, any coach worth

1:11:17

there, whatever, is ultimately

1:11:19

discarding you back to

1:11:22

yourself. And I think that's one thing we do have in

1:11:24

common is -- Mhmm. -- while we might

1:11:26

get there a different way where we

1:11:28

end up at the

1:11:30

end is asking people to develop

1:11:32

a

1:11:32

relationship with themselves and trust

1:11:34

themselves and back themselves and and

1:11:37

seek

1:11:39

that in that

1:11:39

internal inquiry to finance that we're that

1:11:42

we're here to support

1:11:43

that.

1:11:45

A great ditto.

1:11:47

So if so if

1:11:49

people wanna find you, tell them

1:11:51

your website and your

1:11:53

Instagram. Thank you. I just wanna put in a personal

1:11:56

recommendation. So I worked

1:11:58

with you as

1:12:00

my business coach

1:12:01

for a while, a long

1:12:03

while, and you

1:12:04

helped me with all

1:12:06

sorts of projects that I created. One was Pleasure School, Yin.

1:12:08

And so I really recommend you

1:12:11

I know you're not doing one

1:12:14

on one coaching at the moment. How

1:12:16

are you? I'm kind of Oh.

1:12:18

Well, oh. Doing direct one on one.

1:12:20

Where's the booking list? I mean, usually?

1:12:23

I'm not. you're gonna book out now just with me. Which

1:12:25

you used to do was, like, book them.

1:12:27

Yeah. I was, like,

1:12:29

I booked you so far ahead. Anyway,

1:12:31

How do people find stability? that's what's gonna say is I'm

1:12:33

doing all of my serving and giving

1:12:36

inside a

1:12:40

professional development space now. So it's

1:12:42

a bit of a membership y container, but it's a living breathing space. So it's where

1:12:45

I am

1:12:48

every day. and that is where I give

1:12:50

one on one coaching advice like via voice memos at the WhatsApp group.

1:12:54

We have live sessions, co working sessions. I

1:12:56

do master classes. I have a

1:12:58

colleague that's has a

1:13:00

different area

1:13:01

of expertise and she gives

1:13:03

her gifts. So that is really what I'm doing now

1:13:05

at the moment

1:13:06

alongside the podcast and stuff.

1:13:07

So it's called

1:13:11

off, which

1:13:11

is a little kind of

1:13:12

offshoot of offline. And you

1:13:14

can go to get offline

1:13:17

dot com forward slash

1:13:19

off o double f. to

1:13:21

read about it. We

1:13:23

open

1:13:23

every three months to new cocreators.

1:13:24

create Yay.

1:13:26

What's the Instagram?

1:13:28

My

1:13:29

personal is Alison Larsen Rice because I couldn't get

1:13:31

my married name on Instagram, so I

1:13:32

have

1:13:35

a double whittle. and the my

1:13:37

work is under get offline dot co.

1:13:40

Okay. Great. Thank you

1:13:41

for

1:13:42

the opportunity to share that.

1:13:45

I'm

1:13:45

more about it. I'm more about it. You're amazing

1:13:47

and that I only get amazing

1:13:48

people

1:13:51

on this show.

1:13:52

So you're wondering what I thought

1:13:54

about. Thank you. Thank you. Love you. Love you.

1:13:56

he loves year are you

1:13:59

and that sucked. I'll

1:14:02

talk to you about that

1:14:03

later. Yeah. This episode

1:14:05

of Authentic

1:14:08

Sex is sponsored by Amplify. Amplify

1:14:10

is a new online community for men

1:14:15

that offers support structure, accountability, and an ongoing

1:14:18

education. It is run by my beautiful

1:14:20

man, Nick Perry. Nick

1:14:23

is a holistic life style

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1:14:49

these guest speakers are

1:14:51

awesome. I wish If I was a guy,

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I'd be joining Amplify. To find out more or to register, head

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to Rhythm RHYTHM

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Health rhythmhealth dot

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com dot au or you can find Nick on Instagram at rhythmhealth.

1:15:04

Thank you for

1:15:07

listening to this episode code

1:15:10

of the Authentic Sex podcast. If

1:15:12

you love the show, please head

1:15:14

on over to iTunes and leave

1:15:17

me a review. I would also

1:15:19

love it if you share the podcast

1:15:21

with your friends, family, and your Instagram followers.

1:15:23

Doing this together as

1:15:26

a community, we can make impact and support the world to feel

1:15:28

more sexually empowered and free.

1:15:30

And if you'd like to

1:15:33

join me for daily update and sex

1:15:35

inspiration, find me on Instagram at

1:15:38

julietz JULIET

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underscore allen, a double LEN

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You can also head on over to

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my website to join Pleasure School or purchase your very own Juliet crystal

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Pleasure 1WWW

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dot juliet

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hyphenpower dot