0:00

This is the authentic sex

0:02

podcast and real life conversations about

0:04

sex, pleasure, and relationships. I'm

0:07

your host Juliet Palace. Welcome

0:14

to

0:14

episode number one hundred and

0:16

forty nine of Authentic sex

0:19

podcast. My name is Juliet

0:21

Allen. I'm a sexologist and

0:23

sex and relationship coach. And

0:26

today, I have beautiful Claire Baker

0:28

back on this season. Today

0:31

is a little different to other

0:33

episodes. It is the first time

0:35

in the history of the podcast that

0:38

somebody has come on to interview me.

0:40

So early

0:42

on in this season, Claire

0:44

came onto the show, and

0:47

we had such a great conversation

0:49

about her experiences. And

0:51

at the end, we were chatting, and she was asking

0:54

me questions about sex after having

0:56

a baby and my journey.

0:59

And I said to her, well, why don't we do another

1:01

episode where you essentially, you

1:03

interview me about these things?

1:06

And, you know, postpartum sex

1:08

and libido and

1:11

mothering and all the things is something that

1:13

I get asked about a lot, and it's something that

1:15

I haven't covered much. So

1:18

today, we do a deep dive into

1:21

my experiences and also the

1:23

advice that I give around

1:25

how to maintain intimacy

1:28

and sex after giving birth to

1:30

our babies. what

1:32

to do if Libido drops, which

1:34

by the way is very, very normal. We

1:37

talk about what to do when your period comes

1:40

back and my experience with that and how

1:42

it affected me, how I manage

1:44

having a period and parenting a

1:46

young child and a teenager. We

1:50

also speak about like what happens

1:52

in relationship dynamics when

1:55

both people are in essentially

1:57

more so in their masculine energy.

1:59

how that fucks up basically

2:02

our polarity. How to

2:04

balance business life and parenthoods,

2:07

parent babies, all the things. We

2:09

go there

2:10

Claire is absolutely amazing.

2:12

She should most definitely have a podcast

2:14

of her own because it was just

2:16

so nice to be interviewed by her. And

2:18

I really hope you enjoy this episode.

2:21

This episode of Authentic Sex is

2:23

sponsored by the Juliet Pleasure wand.

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dot com.

2:49

Claire, welcome back to Authentic. Thanks

2:52

for staying up so late. I know

2:54

because you're in London. It's

2:55

big time zone difference. Thank you.

2:58

So happy to be back.

3:00

That feels like it was just yesterday. It

3:03

does. Doesn't it? Yeah. It was a few months

3:05

ago. to this. Yeah. Was it

3:07

really? Yeah. I think we spoke

3:09

in July twenty twenty two and it's, like,

3:12

the end of October now.

3:14

Well, hang on. Well, that's

3:16

crazy. Well, thanks for coming

3:18

back. This this time we're doing

3:20

it a little differently, which is fun, and

3:22

it takes the pressure of me too, which

3:24

sounds weird because you'd think there'd be more pressure

3:27

answering questions, but I'd much

3:29

rather answer than ask. So

3:33

today, for those listening, what

3:35

we've done is Claire came on

3:37

the podcast. Now

3:39

what

3:40

episode was that? Do you know what number

3:42

I forget?

3:43

It was I think the second one from

3:45

this season. I don't know which number

3:48

that is.

3:48

Okay. So the second one from this season,

3:51

let's roll with that.

3:53

And you spoke about so

3:55

much great stuff,

3:58

your exploration and tantra,

3:59

and bisexuality Allen opening

4:03

your relationship and all sorts, and people

4:07

absolutely loved that

4:08

episode.

4:09

So this time we're flipping

4:11

it, you're back, but you're gonna

4:13

be leading the

4:15

way and asking me the questions that

4:18

you're curious about.

4:19

which is

4:20

fun. I've never done this before, and I like

4:22

this idea.

4:23

Well, we finished up a conversation talking

4:26

about

4:27

the way that

4:29

the female libido can change

4:31

throughout the menstrual cycle, so

4:33

it's not necessarily just on our raft. And

4:35

then we were like, gosh, there's lots to talk

4:37

about. in

4:38

terms of postpartum, libido,

4:41

and what that

4:44

looks like and how that changes. And

4:46

then, yeah, I have so many

4:48

questions

4:48

in that realm that I'm really curious

4:51

about and plenty more too.

4:53

So I'm really excited to be interviewing

4:56

you this time.

4:57

The bill is not being given

4:59

a goal and ticket. You

5:02

have? I couldn't think of a better person to do

5:04

it either. I feel like we haven't

5:06

actually met in person yet. We I feel

5:08

like we have, but I don't think we haven't.

5:10

But that's the magic of online

5:12

and, you know, the internet. Is he feel

5:15

like you have got, you know,

5:17

pals all over the world that you've never actually

5:19

met? Mhmm.

5:19

Yeah.

5:20

It feels like that. Mhmm. It's nice.

5:23

Yeah.

5:23

Well Tell me

5:25

speaking. Yeah. Let's get started. Tell

5:27

me What

5:28

about to you in your menstrual

5:31

cycle? Are you bleeding again?

5:34

No. I

5:35

am on

5:37

ah

5:38

day. Okay. My crew is

5:40

due next week. Mhmm. We've been

5:42

ashamed to not know what day I'm on

5:44

considering I'm speaking to the

5:47

menstrual coach, the leading menstrual

5:49

coach, or whatever you call

5:51

yourself. I

5:53

think it's

5:53

that. I'm on day twenty

5:55

two.

5:56

Mhmm.

5:57

Yeah. Day twenty two. And what

5:59

so that means

5:59

that your period will start, like, next week. Mhmm.

6:02

Your Like, getting

6:04

prematurely? I

6:06

think I am. This morning,

6:08

definitely, Blake would

6:10

probably agree that I am. I'm

6:15

definitely feeling a bit heavy

6:17

in my

6:17

womb, but I don't know I don't know whether

6:20

that's my period's coming or

6:22

what's going on. But

6:25

oh yeah.

6:26

I'm cycle day twenty four, and I think

6:28

Alex would also side with Nick

6:30

that I'm in the brinkman's

6:32

room today.

6:36

And while to be honest, I

6:38

don't usually get

6:40

too

6:40

grumpy until really close to my period, which

6:43

is why I'm a bit thrown. But I

6:45

also feel really tired, and I know that

6:47

you know, part of it. I just feel like I'd rather be

6:49

in

6:49

bed. Like, if I could chat to you and

6:51

then I'd rather be in bed today,

6:53

but today is my work day. But

6:56

yeah, Do

6:56

you get tired for your period?

7:00

I get really so I've been really energetic

7:02

for the last few days, like really

7:04

productive. My brain kinda goes into overdrive,

7:06

just thinking it just wants to,

7:08

like, get stuff done, and I feel quite,

7:10

like, mentally energized and really on

7:12

it. But then I have

7:14

a shortage cycle, like, about

7:16

twenty six days. So in

7:18

the next couple of days, I would definitely

7:21

like I felt myself crash a bit.

7:23

today and just got a bit

7:25

clumpy. So I think tomorrow I'll get

7:28

tired and I'd say

7:29

I'll bleed in the next couple of days.

7:31

Oh, wow. That is a short cycle then.

7:34

Yeah. Yeah. It's about twenty six days.

7:36

It's varied over the years, but that's about where

7:38

it is at the moment.

7:40

So for

7:41

you, what what day approximately do you

7:43

oblate then? Do you know?

7:45

Yeah.

7:45

Yeah. So I still have a fourteen

7:48

day blue

7:49

to your phase, so it's still a fertile

7:52

cycle,

7:52

but it's just that I obviate a

7:54

bit earlier. So my follicular phase

7:56

is

7:56

shorter or has shortened over the

7:59

years.

7:59

Yeah. Interesting.

8:01

because I'm about Authentic nine

8:03

day Saturday. Yeah. But I

8:05

still feel like on

8:07

day about day

8:09

twelve, thirteen, maybe? Mhmm.

8:12

Mhmm. Yep.

8:13

Okay. Don't don't know what that means.

8:16

Yeah. Healthy. Fine. Yeah.

8:20

Yeah. Healthy. But it's only if you if you if

8:22

that space between ovulation

8:25

and menstruation to the

8:27

luteal phase, if that's below eleven

8:29

days, then that you may need to look

8:31

at something that might be going on there. And it won't

8:33

go any more than eighteen or nineteen days because

8:35

then you're pregnant any more than

8:38

that, then

8:39

you're pregnant. Yeah.

8:42

When did

8:42

you get your period back after having so

8:44

well, first of all, how old is so now?

8:47

Sixteen months.

8:49

Okay.

8:49

Nearly a year and a half.

8:51

Wow. Gosh. When did you start?

8:54

Leading again. eight

8:56

weeks after he was born?

8:59

Gosh.

9:01

Oh

9:02

my gosh. It was so full on. I did

9:04

not expect that. Yeah. What

9:06

was it like?

9:08

No.

9:08

I was still in, like, the bubble of

9:10

just having a baby. Mhmm.

9:12

And

9:14

I thought

9:14

maybe it was like a delayed postpartum

9:17

Like a, you know, like, oh, it's just that

9:19

extra bit coming out.

9:22

But it wasn't because then I

9:25

bled again, like, twenty eight days later.

9:27

And and it

9:29

wasn't you know, I checked in with my midwife when

9:31

it happened. And we kind of went

9:33

through it. She kind

9:34

of went through a few checkpoints, and she was

9:36

like, mhmm.

9:38

kind of sounds like more pure a

9:40

period than just like a

9:42

little chunk of blood coming out or like

9:44

the end of something, you know. So,

9:46

yeah,

9:46

it was pretty full on

9:48

because

9:48

I wasn't expecting it

9:51

and because

9:52

I thought

9:54

I I

9:55

guess I just was like, are you kidding?

9:57

Like, I'm gonna be bleeding

9:59

and breastfeeding around the

10:02

clock and tending to

10:04

troublesome teenager at the time.

10:06

She settled down now. But it was

10:08

a lot because I'm used to

10:10

even though I I've got two

10:13

children, but my eldest is

10:15

seventeen next year. So there

10:17

was a big gap where

10:19

I could rest. from when was younger. Where

10:21

where every month when I bled, I

10:23

I take time out of my work calendar,

10:25

I rest,

10:26

I get into bed, I chill,

10:29

all that. So I've been doing

10:31

that for years and then so now I'm

10:33

still getting used to, like, bleeding

10:35

and there's just not much time

10:38

to

10:38

rest. I do my very best,

10:40

but it's it's challenging. So

10:42

when I had a newborn and

10:43

I was bleeding again, I was

10:45

like, oh, this is the first time

10:48

I can remember that I don't wanna bleed. because

10:50

usually I'm like, yay, my blood's here except

10:52

for when we were trying for a soul. That

10:54

was a bit different because I was like, no, I'm not

10:56

pregnant, you know, set. But

10:58

I was like, oh, wow. How do I

11:00

embrace it all as I reached out to Jane

11:02

Hardwick Collins, just such a

11:04

great mentor. And she

11:07

yeah, she helped me kinda get my head around

11:09

it pretty quickly. And then

11:11

yeah. That's

11:12

the story around that.

11:15

what does it actually like when you

11:17

say you do your best, what

11:19

does it actually look like? Because I know that

11:21

is something that cycle aware

11:23

Allen who,

11:24

like, I know that

11:26

a lot of women really struggle with that,

11:29

particularly I mean, I'm sure lots of moms

11:31

struggle with bleeding and having young

11:33

children, but certainly when you start

11:35

to have reverence for Allen, like,

11:36

for resting when you're menstruating

11:39

and, like, more intuitive powers in

11:41

that lovely time to yourself and look forward to it

11:43

like you said, then it can be like

11:45

a whole other like layer of

11:47

grief if you don't get to have that rest.

11:49

Yeah. It's pretty it's

11:52

not

11:52

ideal. It's just not

11:54

ideal. But then also,

11:56

every

11:57

woman does it, every mother does, you

11:59

know. So

11:59

what does it

12:00

look like doing my best? Well,

12:03

every month

12:04

in my calendar I mean, I've always done this,

12:06

but I plan ahead and put in look

12:08

what my period's due and put, like,

12:10

five days where it says period and with the

12:12

lights on red, love hot. so that when

12:14

I'm planning ahead, I know

12:17

that's when I'll be bleeding.

12:19

So I

12:19

don't book in, like, going

12:22

away and driving up to my moms,

12:24

for example, because that's like a three hour

12:26

drive and that's not fun with a baby.

12:29

So, like, I need to be on my games and things

12:31

like that. or even just going and visiting

12:33

family or friends, I prefer to

12:35

be home when I'm bleeding, ideally,

12:38

or with work. I won't book

12:40

in podcast, etcetera, when I'm bleeding

12:42

because I'm a bit more hazy and

12:44

overwhelmed.

12:44

So

12:47

I definitely structural work around

12:49

bleeding. And then

12:53

I guess if I'm bleeding, say, when

12:55

Sol has a sleep, instead

12:57

of being, like, a

12:58

calpop dinner on the stove, I'll be,

13:01

like, no, actually,

13:01

just

13:03

go lay down

13:05

and we can get

13:07

takeaway tomorrow, whatever, you

13:09

know, just make make life

13:11

easy right now at rest. probably

13:13

get into bed early on. I'm bleeding.

13:16

Get

13:19

always get acute puncture, although that's a weekly

13:21

thing at the moment, but always get acupuncture.

13:23

Yeah. Mhmm. Little

13:25

things that are not the same as they

13:27

used to be, like I used

13:28

to get fit with a whole lot of volume in Netflix

13:30

and literally spend a day in bed.

13:33

Like,

13:33

the luxury of that right now, a

13:35

day trading about

13:35

that quite a bit. But,

13:38

yeah, that was what I used to do. So

13:40

now, you know, I'm just modifying it.

13:43

Yeah. It's

13:43

really helpful to hear those practical examples

13:46

because it's so easy to say

13:48

rest when you're bleeding, but whether you

13:50

have kids or not, people have different

13:52

responsibilities and, you know,

13:54

they do. it's not always possible to

13:56

do that. So I think those, like,

13:58

small things that add up are

14:00

actually really useful. And

14:02

also just being gentle

14:04

with yourself, like not giving yourself

14:06

a hard time or trying to be

14:09

in

14:09

a different season than the one you're in.

14:11

Right?

14:11

Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. Cool.

14:14

How about blood rituals? I know that's something

14:16

you've practiced before? Is that still something

14:18

that you do when you bleed? Not

14:20

at the

14:20

moment. No. I used

14:22

to do it religiously. I used to

14:24

get collect my blood and have

14:26

my blood on my alter

14:28

the and put

14:29

my blood on my body on

14:32

my tongue, all the things. Mhmm.

14:34

And I just

14:35

don't do it at the moment. I don't

14:37

use a cup at the moment. because

14:39

I don't

14:41

know. It was, like, after I gave

14:43

birth to Stall, it was a beautiful birth. No

14:45

trauma. Like, really, just

14:48

straightforward, scape it in front of the

14:50

fireplace and, you know, popped

14:51

into bed.

14:53

However,

14:55

my I

14:58

didn't

14:59

feel when I started bleeding so soon,

15:01

like putting anything up there

15:03

into my vagina. I really

15:05

wanted to just, like, give it a

15:07

break. So putting a top up felt

15:09

a bit intrusive. And

15:12

I still don't

15:13

feel like putting a top up there. It's

15:16

funny. So at

15:18

the moment, I'm using pads. Occasionally,

15:20

I'll use an organic cotton tampon.

15:23

I feel like I'm like It's

15:25

funny. I feel like I'm like doing the,

15:28

like, easy opt out option knowing

15:30

a tampon because I was didn't use them for

15:32

so long. So it's kinda like

15:34

feels fun to use. I'm

15:36

like, oh, this is easy. Like I've pop it in.

15:38

I

15:38

pop it out and I put it in the bin rather

15:40

than, you know, like, putting the cup

15:42

out, putting the blood somewhere, watering the

15:44

plants, washing my hand, you know, all the I

15:46

don't know, all the things. So that's

15:48

where I'm at. And period

15:50

on these I use too. I'm

15:51

Allen, you say that about

15:54

tampons. While

15:56

I was at home in Australia a few

15:58

weeks ago, I just completely

15:59

forgot to pack my

16:01

period products

16:02

pads, cups,

16:05

etcetera. And I got my period on the

16:07

last day that I was there. So

16:09

I used a temple and I was like, well, I'm not gonna

16:11

go and buy whole new, like, carpe or

16:14

period on these book that I don't

16:15

need. So when I'm putting

16:16

the tampon and I have that the same

16:20

excitement.

16:20

I was like, oh, this is a bit

16:22

fun. And it's like

16:24

getting takeaway and not having to do the

16:26

washing up. It's

16:27

the same thing for me. I'm like, Oh,

16:29

we could just get burgers and, like, kinda

16:31

cheat our way through the night, and we could be in

16:33

bed early, and we didn't have to do the washi

16:35

up. And the tamp was the same to me. I'm, like, oh, you

16:37

just pop it up and you get on with your day,

16:39

and it's pretty reliable. Like Mhmm.

16:42

Mhmm. Totally. Yeah.

16:44

It was I think it's it's always good, isn't

16:46

it to go? just

16:47

not get, like, stuck in your ways if this

16:49

is how things are done and then create these

16:51

whole new set of rules of how you're going to

16:53

live when you choose to do things a bit differently.

16:57

I I found it really fun and

16:59

convenience, but it definitely

17:02

it

17:02

was definitely an a completely

17:04

different experience with my blood

17:06

using a tampon. Yeah.

17:08

And it would be using

17:11

a cup which I also have been less

17:13

into for the last couple of years. Like, I don't

17:15

really wanna have anything inside

17:17

me. When I'm leaving, I'm

17:19

much more like either use a pad

17:21

or, like, a reusable pad or

17:23

period on this. But, yeah, I mean, the

17:25

reality is they take a lot more

17:27

participation and in

17:29

a intense form. So, yeah, I

17:32

think whatever works again

17:34

in the season that you're in. So did you

17:36

notice them when you're menstrual

17:39

cycle came back after

17:41

having sold that your Libido.

17:43

Like, what happened with

17:44

your Libido? Or maybe even backtrack a bit and tell

17:46

us a bit more like, what

17:48

your libido was like while

17:51

pregnant and then,

17:52

like, how it changed or

17:54

fluctuated after

17:55

giving birth. Yeah.

17:57

Sure. So

17:59

my

18:00

libido when pregnant

18:02

was pretty low. from

18:05

the moment, we found out

18:07

I

18:07

was pregnant. We kind of

18:09

joked and said, like, we're going on

18:11

long service leave from sex. If

18:13

you're not in Australia, you might not know what one

18:15

service is like. When you

18:17

basically, in Australia, in

18:19

some jobs if you were

18:21

crew a certain amount of time, say, ten years

18:24

working for the same employer, then they give you,

18:26

like, paid long leave,

18:28

like, three months or whatever. Anyway,

18:30

so we kind of George and said, alright. Like,

18:32

we've made the baby. Let's

18:34

just rest and

18:36

not have sex.

18:38

I

18:38

mean, it wasn't like I went on having sex. We just

18:41

didn't feel like it either of us. And so it

18:42

was really nice. We had a bit of a break.

18:45

And then we did enjoy sex. the

18:47

pregnancy, but nowhere near as much as

18:49

we would have, and more so

18:51

things like hand jobs,

18:53

head jobs, I don't know, just

18:56

not penetrative sex. Mhmm.

18:59

And then when we did have sex,

19:01

especially when my tummy was bigger, we

19:03

just have some hilarious

19:06

pregnancy sex moments where we just

19:08

I just was like, this is not working. Like,

19:10

I'd get on once I got on

19:12

top of Nick, or having sex.

19:13

And I I think I was, like, maybe

19:16

squatting on top of him and I genuinely

19:18

felt my my legs were gonna die.

19:20

And I was like, I can't do this anymore. My legs are

19:23

killing. This is just I can't do this

19:25

type of sex right now. My tummy was

19:27

so big. And I finally got stuck there

19:29

and had to, like, peel myself off,

19:31

and we're just laughing. And I was like, this is

19:33

so awkward. And then we did another

19:36

position where something happened. And I

19:38

was like, I'm done, like, this

19:39

is just not working. So

19:42

I noticed

19:45

how

19:45

when

19:46

our body shape changes and we have this huge belly in

19:48

front of us. It actually can

19:51

really change the dynamics and

19:53

sex. So, yeah,

19:55

that was the sex life our

19:57

sex life during pregnancy quite

20:00

limited, which we were really

20:03

okay with. And

20:06

then as

20:07

soon as Sol was born,

20:10

my sex

20:11

drive just went doom and was back on.

20:13

Like, I'm not even joking the

20:15

day

20:15

he was born. Really? I came

20:17

out. Yeah. And I was like, oh

20:19

my god. I'm just really want sex all

20:21

of a sudden. Mhmm.

20:22

And I've just given birth.

20:24

So I was just

20:27

gonna

20:27

ask why you're

20:28

there. during

20:30

your

20:32

labor and yeah.

20:34

During your labor, were you

20:37

like, engaging in, like, sexual

20:39

and sexual, like, practices

20:41

together? Like, was that something that you thought

20:43

you would do or, like, felt, like,

20:45

natural at the moment?

20:47

That's such a good

20:49

question and I'm glad

20:52

because I didn't I'm

20:53

glad I didn't leave that out. So

20:55

yes. during

20:56

the labor,

20:58

my

20:58

intention was to have,

21:01

like, touch and hugging

21:03

and kissing. there

21:04

was never

21:04

any, like if

21:06

it wasn't happen, that was good that

21:08

was okay. I wasn't like, we need to be

21:10

doing this. I just knew that

21:12

the hormones that get the baby

21:14

in or get the

21:15

baby out. So I

21:18

had read so many beautiful

21:20

birth stories in a book called

21:22

spiritual midwifery, which I really

21:24

recommend, even for you

21:25

who, you know, one

21:27

day wants to become a mom, it's the most

21:30

beautiful book. And the stories, the

21:32

birth stories in there are just

21:34

amazing. And it's set

21:36

in the sixties, I think, and

21:38

There's lots

21:39

of home birth in there, and the woman talk about

21:42

having

21:42

this really psychedelic birth. So

21:43

in every birth, they're

21:46

always like kissing and being really intimate with that

21:48

partner. And so I wanted

21:50

that. And so

21:51

I I, you know, it made that known to Nick,

21:53

like, I wanna kiss and

21:56

you know, hug you and be really intimate. And

21:58

so we were.

21:59

And then

22:03

towards the end of the

22:06

the

22:06

labor, I

22:10

was kind

22:12

of in between

22:14

I hope you say contraction surges, I

22:16

like to call them because contraction feels a

22:18

bit and labor even feels a bit

22:20

like it's like just a

22:22

bit. I don't know. But in

22:24

between the surges, I was putting pressure on

22:26

my footerus. I

22:29

didn't really

22:29

read know

22:31

that's what I was doing, but I was holding my

22:33

hand there and just pushing.

22:36

And

22:36

then my midwife said

22:38

to me, Juliet, would you open to

22:40

because what

22:41

happened was I was pushing him down.

22:43

I could put my fingers in my vagina,

22:45

feel his head. which

22:47

was the best ever.

22:50

And so we didn't do

22:50

any internals or anything like we didn't that

22:53

was one of my requests. Like, I don't wanna do

22:55

don't want anyone inside my vagina

22:58

while I'm birthing. I don't need to know

23:00

how many centimeters I

23:02

am. Like, that's

23:04

not doesn't

23:04

matter. I'll do my own internals. So

23:06

I put my fingers in, I could feel

23:08

his head. And

23:09

but he it was

23:12

taking

23:12

quite a while to, like,

23:14

get him down and out. And so

23:16

my midwife said, Gilead,

23:18

would you be open to touching your clitoris?

23:21

And I was like, I can't really end. She was like, would you

23:23

be open to just more self pleasure? And then I was

23:25

like, yeah. Sure. Sounds

23:26

great. And so

23:29

I

23:30

think it was

23:31

in between the surges.

23:34

I

23:34

was self pleasuring. Just touching my clip,

23:36

but it wasn't like I was in

23:39

it wasn't the same

23:40

as how I would

23:42

feel when I'm not in labor. It

23:45

was different, but it was

23:47

definitely a good distraction and it was definitely

23:49

helping with the the

23:51

intense sensations that I was feeling in my

23:53

body, but also it brought on

23:56

the the surges really quickly.

23:58

because was like, okay. I'm ready to

23:59

birth my baby now. Like, come on, I wanna meet

24:02

you. And so touching my

24:04

clitoris

24:04

made, it all Allen

24:06

a lot quicker. And so that was a really

24:08

beautiful unexpected part. Yeah.

24:11

It was amazing. Gosh. That's

24:13

just awesome. Actually, I have a really

24:16

beautiful visual of that, like, that just

24:18

-- Yeah. -- is so cool. It

24:20

reminds me of something

24:22

that Jane

24:24

Howard Collings I've

24:26

heard her share before that

24:28

you when choosing your

24:30

birth support team, the people that are going to

24:32

be there when you give birth, only

24:34

choose people who you would be comfortable,

24:37

orgasmming, or shitting in front

24:39

of. And I remember

24:41

when I first ever say that I

24:43

was like, Like, yeah. That's pretty

24:45

spot on. Isn't that right?

24:47

Yeah. It's

24:47

so spot on. It's

24:50

like that's

24:50

I think that's why it's important that

24:52

we choose environments where we'd

24:54

be comfortable making love to

24:56

birth in because it's

24:59

a very intimate,

25:00

live sacred

25:01

experience. And

25:05

I

25:05

definitely wouldn't have felt comfortable

25:08

self pleasuring.

25:09

in the birth of my daughter, which

25:11

was

25:11

different. It was in a hospital, bright

25:14

lights, different

25:15

rotating midwives on

25:17

shift. obstitutions coming in and out. It was a

25:19

very different experience. So

25:22

yeah. I'm

25:24

curious about some of the differences,

25:26

all the similarities actually, and maybe

25:28

we can just

25:29

I just don't wanna go back to the postpartum

25:32

conversation, but between your

25:34

two pregnant you've had multiple

25:36

pregnancies between the and your

25:38

daughter

25:38

and souls pregnancies

25:41

and the birth.

25:44

experience.

25:44

Yeah. Particularly around this

25:46

conversation of libido or sex,

25:49

like, have were the things that

25:51

came back that you positions, for example, or

25:53

the way that your libido changed

25:55

and and the birth of that was a great

25:57

example then.

26:00

Millie's

26:02

pregnancy well,

26:04

I was twenty three. I'm now forty. So I was

26:06

a long time ago. But

26:09

it

26:10

was amazing just like

26:12

salt was, like a very

26:14

peaceful, beautiful rest full

26:18

time. I have really great memories of her

26:20

pregnancy. I had a lot of energy. I

26:22

was, you know, exercising every

26:24

day. And eating really

26:26

well. I don't remember

26:28

whether

26:28

I was having lots of sex or

26:31

not. I don't remember about Libido

26:34

back then. Yeah.

26:36

Funny. I probably yeah. I don't

26:37

remember.

26:38

And then

26:39

postpartum

26:42

I

26:42

don't remember it significantly dropping

26:45

or or anything. So

26:48

yeah. It's I'm humbling. I can't

26:50

remember that, but

26:51

I guess it wasn't as much

26:53

on my radar back then too. I was kind of just

26:55

getting on with life. not not analyzing my sex

26:57

life as much as I can.

27:00

So then talk to us

27:02

about postpartum

27:03

life then. to

27:05

the day that you gave birth a song. Oh, okay.

27:07

But I was just like, hey.

27:08

Yeah. But, yeah, my LaVita was

27:11

back. But because I

27:13

just in I wasn't gonna have penetrative sex. So

27:17

I reckon

27:19

Allen he was, like, two days old,

27:21

maybe I

27:22

was like, probably gave Nick

27:23

a handjob or something or something like

27:25

that. Just was like, oh my god. I wanna

27:27

touch your penis for the first time in so

27:30

long. And

27:32

then we kind of had

27:34

a few sexual experiences that

27:36

weren't penetrated very

27:39

early on. And I think someone

27:41

was like, what? Like, you just gave

27:43

birth. That's insane.

27:44

Nick's so lucky. I

27:47

was like, It's kind of

27:49

me who who's, like, initiating it

27:51

and, you know, Nick would

27:53

never ever expect or put pressure

27:55

on me for sex ever. And so

27:56

But, yeah, it was amazing that my

27:59

Libido

27:59

firing. And then I think at about

28:02

the three and I think that was

28:04

the hormone too. Like, I just had an understood beautiful

28:06

home birth, and my body was

28:08

this full

28:09

of, like,

28:11

exacy.

28:11

Like, it was just so much. It's

28:14

like, you know, post birth,

28:16

if you haven't understood birth, no

28:18

drugs, etcetera, there's just

28:20

so much, so many feel good

28:22

hormones in your body that it's like being on

28:24

actual ecstasy like drugs. And

28:26

so I think that helped. And then

28:28

about three months Libido

28:31

just went, boom. Boom. Boom.

28:33

Boom. Boom. And just dropped.

28:36

Like, done. Done. Goodbye.

28:40

And

28:40

I think that was, you know, the

28:42

hormones dropped. The sleep kind

28:45

of

28:45

deprivation

28:47

basically kicked in

28:49

And I felt like

28:51

less sex. But and that lasted

28:53

a fair few months. And

28:56

then and now what's that?

28:58

How did you

29:02

like,

29:02

how is that for you? Because I

29:05

know that you I mean, you love Saks.

29:07

Saks is such a huge part of your

29:09

life, and I know that you have a pretty

29:11

healthy Libido most of the time. So,

29:13

like, what's it like when it you

29:15

felt that, like, crash of it just

29:17

suddenly left the building. Oh,

29:18

I was so

29:21

okay with it. In fact, it was kind of like

29:23

a welcome change

29:25

because it gave

29:27

me the opportunity to rest, which

29:29

is what I needed. So I knew

29:32

that when my I knew that my body

29:34

was like, okay. It's

29:35

time to like just rest back,

29:38

tend to your newborn,

29:39

and

29:41

Yeah. I know that when libido

29:44

drops in anyone, it's the body giving a

29:46

sign that there's some there's too much

29:47

of something else going on. and

29:49

the body is decommissioning the libido for

29:51

a

29:51

reason. And Nick was

29:54

really,

29:54

like, amazing. Like, he's, you

29:56

know, some

29:57

even an issue for Nick. Like, he can self pleasure

29:59

when he wants.

29:59

Like, that's I I don't have any issues with

30:02

that. But also,

30:05

I,

30:05

in general, have a higher libido than

30:07

him. So it evens out that,

30:10

like, he's got a normal

30:11

libido. like a

30:13

really nice normal libido. I've got

30:15

a high libido. And so when

30:17

mind drops, we even out and

30:19

the polarity becomes that our

30:21

relationship has more

30:23

harmony in it.

30:25

So,

30:27

yeah, it it I

30:29

don't mind having a low lower

30:32

sex drive

30:33

sometimes. It's really nice.

30:35

I'd love to hear you talk more

30:37

about the polarity actually. It was

30:39

something

30:40

that you mentioned in your

30:42

interview with Shanye

30:44

about

30:45

-- Oh. -- you're in like

30:48

work mode.

30:48

And,

30:50

yeah, we

30:51

shouldn't even write the one that actually Juliet,

30:53

yeah, just came out. When you're in work

30:55

mode and you're working loads, it's like having two men in

30:58

the house. and your sex. Like, this is, like, a

31:00

sexual polarity just dies.

31:04

I would just have to hear

31:04

you speak to that. because

31:07

that really resonated.

31:12

Yeah. I bet. And it would resonate

31:14

with so many women and

31:16

couples. even, you

31:16

know, same sex couples, totally,

31:20

like, anyone.

31:23

Yeah. So when fast.

31:26

I'll just

31:26

speak fast. When we're

31:28

both in work mode,

31:31

And I can really

31:33

ramp, like, dough from zero to a

31:35

hundred bit work very quickly. So I can be like,

31:37

I'm gonna create this course and

31:39

do this thing And my

31:42

personality, which is a manifesting generator with

31:44

human

31:44

human design, is just like, boom. Let's

31:46

do

31:46

it. Let's go. Let's

31:48

I thrive on the energy and I just start

31:50

go go. But then

31:52

what

31:52

happens is Nick

31:55

who

31:55

you know,

31:56

runs his own business and is, you know,

31:58

wanting

31:59

to be the provider in the home.

32:02

He's go, go, and then

32:04

I'm go, And then

32:06

it's like these

32:07

two people in

32:08

their masculine energy

32:10

with their to do

32:11

this and their goals and their

32:14

money goals and this and that,

32:16

kind of existing alongside

32:18

each other. And it

32:20

just sparked the polarity in our relationship

32:22

big time, which what that means

32:25

is there's

32:25

there's there's less of a magnetic

32:28

pull between us. There's less like

32:30

there needs to be, you

32:32

know, night

32:33

and dark, the

32:35

names of the, you know, black and white,

32:37

like the opposite

32:38

Allen feminine is the

32:41

opposite.

32:41

And so when two people were

32:42

in that masculine

32:45

energy primarily, polarity

32:48

drops. And

32:48

that's what happens with us. We have way less

32:50

six. Whereas as soon as whereas

32:52

as soon as I drop

32:55

back, which is what's happened in the last couple

32:57

of months, a

32:58

few

32:59

months. I drop back. I

33:01

work less.

33:03

I rest more. I

33:05

look after to solve more, like, instead

33:07

of being,

33:07

like, oh, I want them anymore so that

33:10

I can just

33:10

work at work. when

33:12

I, like, cook more and make sure we're

33:15

fed properly, we're not just,

33:17

like, getting to the end of the day,

33:19

both

33:19

tired like,

33:21

what can we eat? Okay. We'll just eat whatever.

33:23

Yeah.

33:25

Just everything going out of whack. So when

33:27

I do all that and I basically drop more

33:30

into

33:30

traditional housewipe roll, let's be

33:32

honest. It's like more like how

33:34

it used to be, how the baby boomers

33:36

do it.

33:37

Yeah. Then

33:41

Nick wants

33:41

he for sex instantly.

33:43

me

33:44

And I feel more

33:47

turned on I

33:48

feel more attracted to

33:50

him. He feels

33:51

more attracted to me.

33:53

There's just way,

33:56

way less bickering

33:56

or arguing. It's just like

33:58

it changes the game

33:59

big time. So

34:02

what

34:02

prevents

34:03

you from

34:06

sustaining that dynamic. Do you

34:07

want to have

34:08

that dynamic all of the time? Is

34:10

is that what you would desire? I'm

34:17

liking it right now this season of my

34:20

life to be to step out

34:21

of work and be more in,

34:24

like, mothering tempting

34:26

to the home mode. I'm really liking it. I feel

34:28

really content and My nervous system feels

34:30

a lot more rested. What

34:34

prevents that from being long term is I

34:36

really also love my work and I love

34:38

feeling on purpose, and I

34:40

love creating and, like,

34:42

serving people and inspiring people

34:45

and I love all that. So

34:47

long term, I find them, and I find it

34:49

hard to just do a little bit of that.

34:51

I can see they're all or nothing

34:54

with me. which

34:55

I've got

34:56

to work on. Yeah.

34:58

I'm a manifesting generator as

35:00

well, and I really resonate with

35:03

that idea since Yeah.

35:05

That's when I

35:08

imagine a child, like, at the moment, I'm in

35:10

a

35:10

pretty busy work phase.

35:12

and it's I know it'll come to an end in a few weeks and it'll wind

35:14

down before the end of the year. But

35:16

when I'm in this place, and Alex is

35:18

also in a busy place. and

35:21

we're

35:21

just in that space where the last couple

35:24

of weeks. Since we've been

35:25

back from Australia, we just haven't

35:27

had as much sex. We just haven't we

35:29

haven't had that gummy juicy energy. And we know it's a phase

35:31

and we know it's gonna come to an end. We're

35:34

communicating and we're busy and tired and it's

35:36

all good. But I try

35:38

to imagine them, like, having a child in

35:40

that dynamic as well.

35:42

And and I think

35:44

I got because I

35:46

know that when I'm off work

35:48

even without kids and I'm cooking

35:50

more and I'm in the garden and

35:52

I'm like, making sure that, you know, one

35:54

of Alex's love languages is acts of

35:57

service as well. So, like, anytime

35:59

I do

35:59

anything around the house, you know, he's just

36:02

so turned on. He's just like, oh my god.

36:04

It's so hot that you've,

36:06

like, banked

36:06

a lasagna or old, like, oh, yep,

36:08

the garden

36:09

clippings out. He's just like

36:11

Well, let's see.

36:12

Yeah. Whereas I'm

36:13

like, oh, if I

36:15

made ten k today or I

36:17

like, you're speaking at this event or I did this

36:19

work thing? He's like, Yeah. That's

36:22

cool. Like, I supported you way. proud of

36:24

me, but he's not like, oh, that's really

36:26

hot. Like, I really want like

36:28

Isn't that? Isn't that? Yeah.

36:30

It's like, yeah, you make ten key ten

36:32

k fuck you. That's fuck. That's not that's

36:34

fucking relate. I've never spoken about this,

36:36

but what I wrote b but

36:39

next just like, yeah. Cool. Like,

36:41

awesome babe. Next

36:42

topic. This is

36:43

happening. But if I bake

36:46

if I bake something if I bake

36:48

the lasagna, or

36:49

a good curry like yesterday and it's

36:51

like, mhmm, this is great. Oh, look,

36:53

the house smells amazing.

36:55

Uh-huh. Let's fuck.

36:58

Uh-huh. Allen.

36:59

and And if

37:00

I'm honest with myself, I

37:02

love that. Like, that feels good

37:04

to me. You know, I've got my girlfriend's I

37:07

can go to. We're like, yeah, you may ten k,

37:09

Austin. Yeah. You did this business thing. Cool. Like, you're so cool. And you're

37:11

doing great. And whoo. And again, Alex

37:13

is fully supportive. Like, he's an

37:15

incredibly supportive partner.

37:18

but it's not hot

37:20

between

37:21

us. That dynamic. So,

37:23

yeah,

37:25

it's fascinating.

37:26

Allen.

37:28

That's how my thinking is is

37:31

hotter.

37:33

Definitely. Definitely.

37:35

It's feminine energy, like I

37:37

remember, I asked Nick in a podcast. I

37:39

think it was the first episode of

37:41

this

37:41

season. I said, when

37:43

do you find me most attractively? It was, like,

37:45

when you're in your feminine,

37:47

like, when

37:49

you're relaxed and

37:51

flowing

37:51

and

37:53

happy and creative and all the

37:56

things. And it

37:57

is far more attractive, but

37:58

I find that more attractive

37:59

new woman. Mhmm.

38:01

I find, you know,

38:03

a woman who's just, like,

38:05

more

38:05

of their feminine energy, far

38:08

more attractive. than -- Mhmm.

38:08

-- like a downward businesswoman. I'm like, yeah.

38:11

Oh, I can say this

38:11

is, like, this is

38:13

in

38:14

live in general general, but a

38:16

man in a body That's sort

38:18

of attractive to me.

38:21

No. No.

38:22

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38:23

interrupt this episode to let you know

38:26

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38:50

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38:53

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39:10

dot juliet hyphen allen dot com.

39:12

That's JULIET

39:16

hyphen a double LEN

39:19

dot com. What

39:21

then does life look

39:24

like really about

39:26

and with sixteen

39:28

month gold and business.

39:30

I know you've recently sold yen,

39:32

so I know that's changed things. I'm

39:35

sure. Yeah. That was

39:35

so good. Time wise. Yeah. That's incredible.

39:37

Congratulations. I'm glad it's

39:39

gone to Rosie. I

39:41

was saying, I was like, oh, no.

39:44

Because it's my favorite lube

39:46

ever, but I was so pleased

39:48

that it's

39:49

gone through Yeah.

39:50

It's gone to good hands and

39:53

yeah. She's yeah. It's a

39:55

great move

39:55

and it's gone to good hands and

39:57

it's

39:57

been a great business need to

39:59

sell

39:59

that brand and that company,

40:02

and it's just taken so much

40:04

pressure off. And it's definitely

40:06

been the catalyst for me being able to

40:08

kind of rest back into mother

40:09

mode more, and I love that. So it was the best decision.

40:11

And I knew it was. Like, my intuition

40:13

was always like, yeah, this is

40:15

the right thing for us as

40:17

a family and me as a mother and

40:19

my children. So

40:21

but what it's like, you asked, what

40:24

is it like? with a

40:26

baby and

40:26

a teenager.

40:28

Well, when it's

40:31

pretty full on, Like,

40:32

you know, you saw me this morning when we jumped on this call before we started

40:34

recording. I was like, well, fucking hell this

40:37

morning was full on. Like,

40:38

you know, wake up

40:41

early, breastfeeding, Allen big

40:44

into the boobs. Like, I mean, he's always

40:46

big into breastfeeding, but he is, like,

40:48

cannot get enough of my boobs right now. So

40:50

press feeding

40:52

and then sharing

40:53

and then Nick's feeding

40:56

him breakfast. And I'm trying to make us

40:58

breakfast. And then he wants to eat my

41:00

breakfast. So I want to eat my breakfast. Then he

41:02

wants to be in my lap, and then he wants to

41:04

feed more So I'm, like, doing

41:06

a left handed kind of shoveling,

41:07

you know, mince and

41:08

toast into my house. Now

41:09

I've left handed while he's sucking

41:11

on

41:11

my boot. then

41:13

I wanna make a cacao and then just

41:16

it was quite chaotic this morning, so sometimes

41:18

it can just be a bit.

41:20

not

41:21

relaxing. And I did say to Nick, I was like, this morning's been hectic, but

41:23

I feel like I didn't get a chance to

41:25

fill up my top

41:26

before work.

41:29

and I don't like that. I don't

41:31

like sitting down the office

41:33

feeling heightened and, like,

41:34

in energy. I like feeling

41:38

like, okay. clear clarity

41:38

on that. But

41:41

I think

41:42

we've we've come to a really good balance as

41:44

parents. that we

41:46

we work really well as parents. And I think

41:48

that matters and that's why

41:50

it's so important, in my opinion,

41:53

to if

41:55

you can

41:57

choose a partner to be

41:59

to parent

41:59

with who has very

42:01

similar values. to you and who

42:03

you've discussed. You

42:06

know, parenting sucks before your parent.

42:07

Like, what

42:10

health choices are you gonna make? Do you have similar values

42:12

around discipline, all those things?

42:15

Because otherwise, what

42:18

can happen in

42:19

personal experience is

42:22

that you get you have a child together and then

42:24

you're like, oh, we

42:26

have very different opinions on how

42:28

to parent or how

42:29

to deal with sleep, you

42:32

know, in the night,

42:34

like babies and sleep is a

42:36

big one. And so yeah. And they can

42:38

have parenting great together and we

42:40

have a good balance, but also we're pretty

42:42

fucking tired. I'm

42:43

not gonna Allen. And

42:46

yeah. But

42:46

it's a seasonal we're in

42:49

too. It's

42:49

like, yeah.

42:51

what are

42:51

the like, what's, like,

42:54

the biggest challenge that the two of you

42:56

have ever come since you're coming parents

42:58

together to

42:59

so Lack

43:00

of sleep. Yeah. We're

43:02

still

43:02

dealing with that. We're still

43:04

dealing

43:05

with the lack of sleep.

43:07

situation. Like, soul is not about sleep,

43:09

but my daughter was a

43:10

help. It was it was helped with my daughter. Like,

43:12

she

43:12

didn't sleep at but soul sleep. So

43:14

I have that as to give me a

43:16

perspective. too. But, you know, he's

43:19

sixteen months old, and babies do wake

43:21

in the night, like,

43:23

it's normal. I

43:24

don't have an expectation that he should be sleeping through right now. Mhmm.

43:27

I know that as adults,

43:29

we all wake in

43:32

the night. But

43:32

when we wake, we know how to roll over that and

43:34

settle self settle. You know,

43:36

we work to do a week. We go do

43:38

our week. We go back to

43:40

sleep. Whereas

43:41

children don't have that. So I understand

43:44

that when he wakes,

43:45

unless

43:46

you do some sort of

43:48

you

43:49

know, cry disagree with as

43:51

a parent. I don't I

43:53

won't go into that, but actually,

43:55

that I have

43:56

in

43:58

a a podcast episode

43:59

that's been aired before this one will air. I

44:02

did do an episode with a

44:04

holistic sleep. specialist

44:06

who spoke about why that is

44:08

not good. But

44:09

anyway,

44:10

he doesn't say throw

44:12

and

44:12

that's been happening as challenge because

44:16

Nick

44:16

love to sleep. Love

44:19

to sleep. I love

44:21

sleep,

44:21

but I've already had a

44:23

baby. So I get like, my sleep's been

44:25

fucked up since really. Yes. So I'm

44:27

used to not

44:28

saving as much, but but,

44:32

you know, We

44:32

just and, you know, we can't sleep at all that. Like, we're

44:35

not the family who started

44:36

and put out newborn into

44:39

a bedroom by himself. from

44:41

day one. Like, that wasn't in alignment with our values or

44:44

what we look what we knew about --

44:46

Mhmm. -- giving our child

44:47

the best start to life in

44:49

our opinion. So

44:51

yeah Yeah. I

44:53

actually

44:54

and we just learned about that

44:56

waking up in

44:56

the middle of the night thing, but I don't

44:59

do that we just know how to go back to sleep.

45:00

I didn't realize that that's actually what we do at the

45:02

end of the day ish sleep cycle, but it makes a lot of

45:04

sense when you think about why babies

45:06

wake up because they still haven't

45:07

learned how to put themselves back to

45:10

sleep. Yeah. And they don't actually have the

45:11

ability to

45:14

self settle So,

45:17

you

45:17

know, yeah, they don't have that ability

45:19

at such a young age of self settle.

45:22

They do have the

45:24

ability to to give up if you let them just cry

45:26

it out and go, well, no one's

45:28

gonna come. So I

45:30

may as well not cry

45:30

because my cries are not answered.

45:34

So I'll roll over and but that's not self

45:36

settling. That's, like, giving up.

45:37

It's a different thing.

45:39

So, yeah, I always

45:41

remind myself

45:42

that you know, when

45:44

it's like three AM and I'm really tired

45:46

and he's clawing for

45:47

my

45:49

boob. What's like, what

45:52

do you just

45:53

love to hear you talk about what you love about

45:55

something that I've really noticed about

45:57

use. And hearing you

45:59

speak

45:59

for you and

46:00

became pregnant with Saul was just that like yearning that you fell in

46:02

your womb and that just like really big

46:05

yes that you have.

46:07

to motherhood. And I also see

46:09

you as a very, like,

46:12

individualized woman who knows who

46:14

she is

46:14

he's year outside of

46:15

that too and very

46:19

creative and powerful

46:22

and, like,

46:24

very as well outside of being a mom. And

46:26

I really love that about you. I just love to hear

46:28

you talk about what it is about

46:30

motherhood that calls to

46:30

you and that you love

46:34

so much. Oh, no one's ever asked me

46:36

that. What do I

46:38

love? I just I

46:41

don't even

46:41

know how to describe it. I just

46:44

love like

46:45

seeing my

46:46

children grow up and

46:50

just being around them. But

46:51

children are so amazing. They're

46:54

just these

46:56

little learning sponges

46:58

who soak everything up, and they're so cute. And I

47:02

love the love that I feel for my children,

47:04

and I

47:06

love I

47:07

love pregnancy. I love

47:10

birth. I love breastfeeding. Like, I

47:12

love bonding with

47:13

soul at the moment. you know, even

47:15

though I was complaining about, like, trying to eat my medicine toast with my left hand

47:17

and he's breastfeeding. Like, I looked down and he's just

47:19

sort of snuggled

47:20

in and he's just

47:22

like, sucking on my boob

47:24

and looking up at me and smiling while

47:26

sucking and it's like, oh my god. He's

47:29

so adorable. And

47:32

I

47:34

I love family. Look, I

47:37

love having

47:39

my

47:41

children around. It's just

47:44

like life

47:44

wouldn't be the same without

47:46

that. And, you know, parenting

47:48

I find motherhood extremely challenging too, and but I think

47:51

it's the best personal development that we

47:53

can do. Like, it's such

47:54

a rite of passage that I feel

47:58

is so valuable for most women, not all because

47:59

some people don't feel call but most women to

48:02

experience if they can.

48:04

It's like

48:06

just

48:06

day by day. We're just

48:09

faced with all our stuff

48:11

that we have

48:12

to

48:14

heal But

48:15

it's just it's just such a

48:17

powerful catalyst

48:17

for growth, motherhood.

48:22

Yeah. And my

48:22

daughter's now sixteen and a half, so she's

48:24

just like, it's so cool the other day

48:26

she quit a job because her boss

48:28

was being an asshole basically. And

48:31

it was like, this met older man and he

48:34

was just speaking to

48:36

her, like, she showed me the text and I

48:38

was like,

48:39

No. And she

48:40

said, I don't wanna be spoken to like

48:42

that. And I wanna quit. And I said,

48:44

yeah. That's I support you in that. And she

48:46

said, and I wanna tell him that the

48:49

way he speaks to me doesn't make me feel

48:51

respected, and it doesn't make me feel appreciated.

48:53

And do you think I should say that in a

48:55

text? And I said,

48:56

yep. You

48:57

sure should. And I was like, oh my gosh. I'm

48:59

so proud of her, but also so proud

49:02

of me

49:04

because I've It's

49:05

like all it's all

49:07

worth it in

49:08

the end. It's like, oh, she's now

49:10

this young woman who's not afraid

49:13

to say to male boss or female, like,

49:15

doesn't matter about the gender, like, actually no.

49:17

Like, I'm not working hair

49:18

anymore because you treat me like shit. And

49:20

I

49:21

don't I'm not gonna I'm

49:23

not gonna sell for that. And

49:25

so it's just any

49:28

stage of,

49:30

you know,

49:30

growing up. It's it's just so cool to

49:32

serve. Yeah. It's cool having kids

49:33

in such different phases, I imagine, to

49:36

be able to come to the

49:37

time set of challenges as well.

49:39

But, like, really cold

49:42

and see, like, really growing up and setting

49:44

herself and Allen at the

49:46

same time you've got soul who's just completely reliant

49:49

on you. Mhmm.

49:51

Yeah.

49:51

That's really cool. Yeah. Wow.

49:54

So amazing. Yeah. Thanks

49:56

for sharing that. I I

49:59

go through

49:59

phases of having and

50:02

and and it is a yes, you know, to

50:04

having kids and being coming a

50:06

mom, but in

50:07

the yes, strength of the

50:10

yes in

50:10

my

50:11

body changes. Sometimes it's

50:13

like, you know, that deep

50:15

warm yearning and it's just all encompassing. It's

50:17

all, like, a big capacity. Everything through the lens of, like, preparing

50:19

to have a family.

50:22

And then

50:23

it'll go it'll go for a

50:26

few months, and I don't think about it at

50:28

and I'm occupied with other things.

50:31

And I sometimes create

50:32

stories in my mind, that other women just have that

50:35

really strong yes all the time. Or I

50:37

envy those who I know that do that

50:39

are like, yep, it's a

50:42

day a definite yes or it's a definite no and they've made decision

50:44

to be child free for

50:46

example. I have this like, ah, envy

50:50

that because I really love

50:52

my life and I could

50:54

also very easily continue along this path

50:56

and have a really beautiful

50:58

life and Either

51:00

way, I know it'll be a beautiful life with

51:02

pain and struggle and joy

51:04

and magic, either way.

51:07

And sometimes I like, wish I could

51:09

have that,

51:09

like, really strong yearning all the

51:12

time, but it does

51:14

fluctuate

51:14

for me.

51:16

Yeah. I think

51:17

that's like, that's not

51:19

uncommon.

51:19

And have you read

51:22

the books

51:22

spirit babies. I

51:25

have. Yeah. Loved it. Yeah.

51:27

It's really

51:27

cool. I think that one helps can

51:30

help with

51:32

that. Definitely. because, you know, I think, like, if you on

51:34

occasion, have that strong guess in your room

51:36

and that yearning, then to me, that indicates

51:39

there is a spirit baby around. It's just not the right time

51:41

for that baby to come in. And then

51:44

when you, you

51:44

know, have those moments where you're like,

51:47

oh, I don't know. Like,

51:48

it's

51:49

probably just a spirit maybe, like, actually, not mom. Yeah. You've got a

51:51

lot of work to do. Or, like, actually, I've

51:53

got a like, I'm just gonna

51:55

chill here for

51:55

a while.

51:57

So Yeah.

51:59

Yeah.

51:59

And it is I

52:01

notice it more when I'm more

52:03

in my feminine Allen. Definitely,

52:06

like, work is less busy and I'm

52:08

more relaxed and I'm cooking more in

52:10

the garden and also when I'm

52:12

surrounded by more community. So spent

52:15

a few months in Bali a few years ago and not

52:17

there was really strong because it just felt

52:19

that sense of community or

52:22

being home. in

52:22

Australia. I notice it too. Like when I feel that support

52:25

and I'll having

52:26

other moms around, like a couple of my

52:28

friends here in London have had

52:30

babies

52:31

recently as home door doesn't come up again

52:33

because I'm like, oh, I didn't see

52:36

how this would work.

52:38

Like, this this feeling that community

52:39

support just feels so

52:41

essential to

52:42

me. And that's something I've I know

52:44

that you're calling in more

52:45

of at the moment. Right? Yeah.

52:48

It's so essential. It -- Mhmm.

52:50

-- it's better because

52:52

I when I had a million, I

52:53

didn't feel like I had much support

52:55

around because I don't live near my

52:57

family. And

52:59

so, yeah, I

53:00

found it pretty tough. And now,

53:03

I'm with someone. I'm like, I'm in the

53:05

same position. My my family still don't live close. Neither does an

53:07

ex family. And we live

53:10

on acreage. We don't even like,

53:12

we don't we're

53:13

not too far out, but we're still

53:15

you know, you

53:16

can't walk down the road to a coffee shop and

53:18

be around people. You have to

53:21

drive. somewhere. And I

53:23

have

53:23

friends that they're all over the world or

53:25

in different parts of Australia. I don't

53:27

have a community that that's,

53:29

like, really closer. I can be, like, hey, what are

53:31

you doing? Like, I'll pop around for

53:33

a copper, you know, which is what I'm craving.

53:35

And so I

53:36

just don't I still don't know how I'm gonna get

53:38

that. Like, I've I want to

53:41

to meet other moms

53:43

who are in the

53:44

same kind of phase of parenting as me so

53:46

that we can just hang with kids and the salt

53:49

can have more friends. And I do

53:51

have some moms who

53:52

I hang out with

53:54

who I

53:54

love hanging out with. but

53:57

I want more. Alright. I wanna

53:59

listen up.

53:59

Yeah. Your application your

54:02

application at WWW

54:06

dot

54:06

I need friends dot

54:08

com. Thank you. Yeah. So

54:10

it's a tricky one. And we

54:12

don't really wanna move close to our

54:15

parents because we don't really wanna be in those areas of

54:18

Australia. So it's a hard

54:20

one. Yeah. I feel you. Sometimes

54:21

I dream of moving

54:23

to the country. and having bigger house and more space

54:25

because it's more

54:26

expensive living in London. But

54:28

the truth

54:29

is we've got friends

54:31

in our, you know,

54:32

right next to us where we live,

54:35

a few

54:35

doors down, like, a lot of

54:37

friends within a sort of ten,

54:39

fifteen minute radius. of where

54:41

we live. So I feel like

54:44

it's it's pros

54:44

and cons. Like, definitely, there's a space

54:46

issue living in the city. But at the

54:48

same time, we have a lot of

54:50

mates who are really close

54:53

by. Mhmm. So, you know,

54:55

I have to dream of the bigger house

54:57

in the country. And look

54:59

at

54:59

your veggie patch

55:02

enviously and think, oh my god, it was so

55:04

nice and the sauna. I'm like, oh, I'd so

55:06

see that for myself. Right? Yeah. It also

55:08

comes with challenges Right?

55:09

It does. It does.

55:11

Really? Yeah. Is there

55:13

anything we have

55:15

uncovered in this realm the

55:18

postpartum life that

55:19

you would like

55:22

to mention?

55:24

I guess, maybe with

55:25

the postpartum

55:26

stuff, because I know there'll be moms listening who

55:28

are like, oh my gosh, she's gonna talk about postpartum

55:30

sex, like, which we've got challenges

55:32

or

55:34

but the

55:35

meter hasn't come back. I'd just like to offer a few

55:36

things to those moms. Mhmm. How does

55:39

that gonna help them?

55:40

So

55:42

what's helped me is, number

55:44

one, like, working with a really

55:47

great natural path who can you

55:49

know, check the levels

55:51

of minerals and

55:53

vitamins and all the things

55:55

in my blood. and

55:58

get the results and

56:00

be like, oh, your iron's

56:02

slow, which is what happened a few months

56:05

ago, or okay. Your magnesium is low. Let's pump

56:07

it up or okay. If we, you

56:09

know, if we get these levels higher,

56:11

then your libido is gonna be

56:13

firing more. So working with someone who really

56:15

knows, like, who can look at you in

56:17

that way?

56:20

Because

56:20

I think

56:21

that's really important, and I'm a really big fan

56:23

of Natural Pass who are, you know, essentially

56:26

natural doctors.

56:26

Yeah. And the

56:28

other thing I'm fan of is acupuncture because

56:30

the this psychiatrists are so

56:32

amazing. And that really

56:34

helps, you know, even out

56:36

hormones and the body and

56:38

the energy and the she and all that, and that

56:40

can really help with libido too. So

56:43

I don't recommend just going

56:45

to your GP and being like, well, Sextrot hasn't come

56:47

back what to do unless they specialize in

56:49

like postpartum health, like, you know,

56:51

which there are not many, but

56:53

a few in the world who do and that are

56:56

amazing. But going to more

56:58

like someone who can look at you

56:59

a bit more holistically,

57:01

So

57:01

that's one thing that's

57:03

really helped me. And then the

57:05

other thing is, like, scheduling in time

57:07

by myself, which is

57:10

really important. because if

57:10

our cup like, if we've got a cup and it's

57:13

empty,

57:13

and then we're

57:16

trying to

57:17

enjoy more intimacy, connection, sex with

57:20

our partner, but we're coming with this empty

57:22

cup. It's just not gonna work.

57:24

Like, how can you give somebody else or

57:26

even receive for yourself

57:28

if

57:28

your cup is empty. So make

57:30

sure you

57:31

schedule in time out where you go get

57:33

a massage or You just go

57:35

for a walk. I don't know. Go for

57:37

a swim at the beach, whatever whatever

57:39

works for you. They're

57:41

my things. But

57:43

where you can

57:44

just like take a breath up from

57:46

the children and take a breath up from your partner

57:48

and from the house, even just getting

57:50

out the house is really handy.

57:52

so that's

57:53

something moms can do. But also, you know, a big one

57:55

is just acceptance, like accepting

57:57

that it's okay

57:59

to

57:59

not have wanna

58:02

have sex right now, especially if

58:05

you're breastfeeding. Yeah.

58:06

I mean, far as it's

58:09

big to breastfeed and, like, you're always giving you're

58:12

literally having a small

58:14

human feeding

58:16

off you. so that can alter your hormones. And if you're not

58:18

bleeding yet, it's pretty normal for, like,

58:20

you're not terribly much of a sex

58:22

drive.

58:23

You're not obulating. Mhmm.

58:25

Yeah.

58:26

Essentially. So when you're populating,

58:28

you know

58:29

yeah. It

58:30

creates more of that drive

58:32

because your body's like, okay. I wanna procreate

58:34

again. Basically, unready. But

58:36

if you don't yep. So

58:38

if you don't if you don't have your

58:41

period, then you just just

58:42

be an acceptance, like, my body is giving me all the signs that I

58:44

don't need to be having sex right

58:47

now, and that's okay. It's

58:49

going to come back. combat

58:51

I love that. There's

58:52

been a lot of emphasis on the

58:54

season, just being in the season that

58:56

you're in in this conversation. do

58:59

you before we finish Just

59:01

a practical one. What do you need to

59:03

use for

59:06

contraception when you're not planning on

59:08

having a bit of,

59:09

like, a base basis? We

59:10

use oh, wait,

59:13

my friend. Yeah. She doesn't

59:14

wanna yeah.

59:15

We've never used like

59:18

we use condoms early on

59:20

when we're first dating. But

59:23

we

59:25

don't don't take

59:25

you know, don't follow my lead on this because

59:28

you might have pregnant again. But

59:30

we just if he chooses to

59:32

ejaculate, then if we don't wanna get

59:34

pregnant, he'll just won't

59:36

ejaculate inside

59:37

me. But we, you know, we

59:39

wanna get pregnant again so that we

59:41

don't mind if we

59:44

got pregnant. at all. And so for the last few

59:46

years, that's been the case.

59:48

So, yeah, that's that's

59:49

us. I wouldn't

59:50

I personally wouldn't

59:51

go on hormonal

59:55

contraception. Mhmm. And then I

59:57

I

59:57

have done it once when I was about

59:59

twenty one

59:59

and it really up to

1:00:01

my body, and I had to go off it up to, like,

1:00:03

three months. And then I haven't been on it. And

1:00:05

my Puri didn't come back for ages to a

1:00:08

really fucked

1:00:09

really fucked my cycle up.

1:00:12

But, yeah, not a big

1:00:14

fan. Yeah.

1:00:14

I was I

1:00:17

on a panel after the premiere screening of the

1:00:19

business of birth control in

1:00:21

London last week, which is a

1:00:23

new film that Ricky Lake of what

1:00:25

people has produced. which was

1:00:27

cool. But she's a

1:00:28

real pro home bathroom and stuff, Ricky Lane.

1:00:30

Yeah. So she produced another film called

1:00:33

the business of giving back They've

1:00:35

all been born, something like that. Okay.

1:00:37

that. follow-up was about

1:00:40

the pill and hormonal contraception.

1:00:42

And

1:00:43

I really recommended it

1:00:46

a

1:00:47

very important film definitely.

1:00:48

How do we watch

1:00:51

that?

1:00:51

What's it on?

1:00:52

it on believe

1:00:54

in Australia, you

1:00:55

can actually stream it. I think in the UK,

1:00:57

they've got some issues at the moment, but I think in Australia,

1:00:59

you can just the business at

1:01:01

birth control dot com. I think the same in North

1:01:04

America. Mhmm.

1:01:06

I think

1:01:06

they're getting some distribution stuff sorted out

1:01:09

here in the UK and Europe, but

1:01:11

Yeah. I mean,

1:01:11

you can just Google a business of birth control.

1:01:14

It's ninety minutes, and I didn't find

1:01:16

it. I thought it might be, like, really overwhelming

1:01:18

or too much information

1:01:20

or quite like, emotionally distressing and there was definitely some

1:01:22

heavy stuff in it for sure.

1:01:24

But

1:01:24

I think it's

1:01:26

really worth a watch

1:01:30

if you've ever

1:01:30

been on birth control or you've considering

1:01:32

going on it or you know someone

1:01:34

who is or, yeah, you're just

1:01:38

interested in figure out reproductive health. And just women's health in

1:01:40

general, like, it was pretty

1:01:42

eye opening. Okay. Cool. I'm

1:01:43

gonna watch

1:01:44

that. What do you use for birth control?

1:01:47

Similar.

1:01:48

I mean, we

1:01:51

have never used

1:01:52

condoms, not months in the, like,

1:01:55

you know, holy shit shit. Like,

1:01:57

it's all, like,

1:01:59

literally at once

1:02:01

not once.

1:02:03

we track

1:02:04

my cycle. So I know that

1:02:06

if I'm in my fair trial window, so

1:02:08

those five or six days, we

1:02:11

either won't have penetrative like,

1:02:13

penis

1:02:13

and vagina sex. We won't do other stuff. Or

1:02:15

if we do, yeah, Alex will just

1:02:17

pull out, like, way

1:02:20

in advance of him coming. So it's not

1:02:22

like we're having sex and then he's about to come

1:02:24

and then he pulls out. Like, he'll, you know, make

1:02:26

sure that

1:02:27

there's, like, definitely time twin.

1:02:30

But if I know

1:02:31

that I'm in my, like, in first half phase,

1:02:33

it's like if I'm in the blue to your phase, setting

1:02:35

up my periods, and we don't, you know, we don't need

1:02:37

to worry. So is

1:02:39

totally fine. So I you know, when the,

1:02:42

like, when the withdrawal method

1:02:43

is practiced with,

1:02:46

you know, well.

1:02:47

Like, it's it really

1:02:49

can work. It's just when people don't

1:02:51

really like, guys are not

1:02:53

doing or alcohol involved

1:02:55

or you know, you leave it like the absolute last

1:02:57

second. I think it's big. I think

1:02:59

it is a rebrand. I think

1:03:01

it

1:03:01

does, but I think it's also important

1:03:03

for people to know, UK get

1:03:06

pregnant using the

1:03:07

withdrawal method. I have

1:03:09

got pregnant twice

1:03:10

using the

1:03:11

withdrawal method. So you

1:03:14

can and it will happen if

1:03:16

yeah.

1:03:17

So, you know, also I wanna

1:03:19

kind of disclaimer that. Absolutely. Yeah.

1:03:21

Yeah. I think with

1:03:22

any method efficacy,

1:03:25

there's perfect

1:03:26

use and there's typical use.

1:03:30

and knowing your partner

1:03:32

and trusting him and

1:03:34

also like he say, like being

1:03:36

open to becoming pregnant

1:03:38

is definitely like the practices that Alex and

1:03:40

I use. I wouldn't use with, you know,

1:03:42

somebody

1:03:42

who I had, you know, just met

1:03:44

and was not

1:03:45

married to. weren't having more casuals, a

1:03:47

little, like, sexual relationship with

1:03:49

at all. Because, yeah,

1:03:51

when

1:03:52

I consider first came off, birth

1:03:54

control ten years ago. I

1:03:56

got pregnant right away because I just

1:03:58

had no idea what I

1:03:59

was doing. So, you

1:04:02

know, I didn't want to have a a baby

1:04:04

And so -- Yeah. -- it

1:04:05

was only after like, natural

1:04:07

fertility methods that

1:04:09

I can actually don't

1:04:11

know, with confidence when I am at

1:04:13

home, when I'm not. If you don't

1:04:15

know what you're doing, then, of

1:04:17

course, there's a huge chance of calling

1:04:20

behind Prayden? Yeah. There

1:04:21

is. And for the

1:04:24

man, it's

1:04:24

really important that the man knows

1:04:26

all the signs

1:04:28

that he's

1:04:29

going to ejaculate and that he

1:04:31

has that control to be able to

1:04:33

go, okay, I'm gonna

1:04:36

ejaculate soon. So I'm gonna pull out.

1:04:38

And that's something that

1:04:39

men need to learn and a lot of

1:04:41

men

1:04:41

don't know themselves

1:04:43

that well yet. maybe

1:04:46

if they, you know, meet me,

1:04:49

like,

1:04:49

as in double neck and learn,

1:04:51

they they can learn

1:04:54

that. But I think we just need to be aware of that too.

1:04:56

Like, that that's not something we're

1:04:58

taught or meant at

1:05:00

taught. Mhmm. so

1:05:02

often that's why we get pregnant too. Is there

1:05:04

just like, oh, yeah. I'll pull out and then suddenly they're

1:05:06

like, fuck. Fuck. I just came inside

1:05:08

you. Yeah.

1:05:10

You know?

1:05:11

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

1:05:14

Again, I just think, like,

1:05:16

school, education, imagine if sex Allen,

1:05:18

we are learn these things? How to

1:05:21

track fertility? How to practice

1:05:24

ejaculation choice? What that looks like? How Allen you

1:05:26

science? How do you body? No.

1:05:28

Change so

1:05:29

much. Yeah. Yeah. Change so much.

1:05:31

And, yeah, there's lots to navigate in the

1:05:33

postpartum phase, and I definitely know contraception is

1:05:35

one of them many girlfriends

1:05:37

who go to the GP and they're

1:05:39

just like coerced

1:05:42

into taking hormonal

1:05:44

contraception don't really want to or getting

1:05:46

an ID or, you know, being treated like children like

1:05:48

they don't. They're not adults.

1:05:51

who can make their own decisions

1:05:52

and say, I think -- Good to talk

1:05:54

about. -- same goes with

1:05:55

birth, you know. It's just all just

1:05:57

to follow on from, like, or

1:05:59

we're in the system and trusting someone

1:06:01

outside of ourselves and not doing our

1:06:04

own

1:06:04

research and learning ourselves. And

1:06:06

then putting it putting it our health and our children's

1:06:08

health and our part of ourselves

1:06:10

in

1:06:10

the hands of

1:06:13

essentially men

1:06:15

or women who, you know,

1:06:17

who just they don't know our body as much as

1:06:19

us, so I just feel

1:06:21

yeah.

1:06:23

Yeah. I'd

1:06:24

love to actually offer a couple of recommendations your listeners

1:06:27

who are postpartum, sexually

1:06:29

active, and thinking

1:06:30

about contraception.

1:06:32

it's really important to

1:06:33

learn how to effectively

1:06:36

chart ovulation. So when and

1:06:38

if we're

1:06:40

breastfeeding, it can be typical for menstrual cycles to be

1:06:42

more regular or longer. And as you

1:06:44

said, you know, chat, you don't

1:06:46

always know when your period is going to come

1:06:48

back and when

1:06:50

you're going start ovulating, but it is totally

1:06:52

trackable. So this is when the

1:06:54

symptom thermal method

1:06:56

of fertility awareness is really used

1:06:59

because it uses a few different signs from the

1:07:02

body. It uses cervical

1:07:04

fluid to chart when the fertile

1:07:06

window is

1:07:08

opening up. when we're becoming

1:07:10

fertile and it uses basal body temperature

1:07:12

to track when ovulation has

1:07:15

actually occurred and then when the

1:07:18

fertile window closes and you

1:07:20

can also use

1:07:22

testing strips to test

1:07:24

formulation or also cervical position.

1:07:26

So it's using all of these different

1:07:28

biomarkers in the body to determine when

1:07:30

you're fertile and when you're not. fertile. So definitely

1:07:32

take a few months to learn these

1:07:34

signs. But it's really worth it, particularly

1:07:36

in that postpartum phase, like I said,

1:07:39

when cycles can be more irregular than you might be

1:07:41

used to. But so worth

1:07:44

it because, for example, then you'll

1:07:46

know that when your fertile

1:07:49

you

1:07:49

could abstain, right, from penis and

1:07:51

vagina sex or use a barrier

1:07:54

method like a condom. And

1:07:56

then once you can confirm your post

1:07:58

ovulation and no longer

1:07:59

fertile, you feel really confident having

1:08:02

unprotected penetrative

1:08:04

sex if that's something

1:08:06

that you would like to do. So I really

1:08:08

recommend learning from a trained natural fertility

1:08:10

teacher who can

1:08:11

support folks in learning

1:08:13

this method. And does take both parties like,

1:08:15

you know, to make it work,

1:08:17

but it's such important education and

1:08:19

there's really great

1:08:22

books like taking charge of your fertility.

1:08:24

By Tony Westlaw, I would recommend the

1:08:26

billings method is a great book,

1:08:29

all there's online group

1:08:31

courses with teachers like Nato Day

1:08:33

of fertility awareness project. So I'm personally

1:08:35

not currently taking new

1:08:38

fertility awareness clients, but

1:08:40

I will definitely update my community once

1:08:42

I do and, you know, this information is all

1:08:45

then really useful when wanting to

1:08:47

have more babies as well. The

1:08:50

cool thing with this method is you can be flexible. So for

1:08:53

example, right now, in my situation,

1:08:55

if I became pregnant, it

1:08:57

would not be the end of well, we would

1:08:59

welcome a baby. So we're not as strict

1:09:02

on using condoms as I mentioned,

1:09:06

whereas if somebody was, like, really

1:09:08

clear that their postpartum don't wanna

1:09:10

have any more kids ever

1:09:13

or just for now. then you

1:09:15

can choose to obtain completely during fertile

1:09:17

phases or use a barre method

1:09:19

or just, you know,

1:09:21

be more careful. I'll also say it's

1:09:24

really good to know that a cycle

1:09:26

tracking app that uses an algorithm. So

1:09:28

for example, something like clue. While they

1:09:30

might be great for tracking your cycle

1:09:33

and how you feel they

1:09:35

cannot predict ovulation or your fertile

1:09:37

window, it's that daily charting of

1:09:39

your own body's unique signs that this method is

1:09:42

all about. because we're also

1:09:44

different. How you

1:09:46

feel

1:09:46

and after being interviewed?

1:09:49

Yeah. Good. I feel good. That was I knew it

1:09:51

would be really enjoyable. I wasn't stressed about, like,

1:09:53

when we got

1:09:55

on

1:09:55

the call, I'll layer this into

1:09:58

it. When we got on the call, was a bit flustered, I wasn't about It was

1:09:59

more Juliet

1:10:00

this and more

1:10:03

my morning. was a bit chaotic.

1:10:06

And then I was like, oh my gosh. But, no, I really enjoyed speaking to you.

1:10:08

I'd love

1:10:09

for you to share

1:10:11

with people listening how they

1:10:13

can find you. And, like, just a bit about you because we didn't do that at the start. And as much

1:10:15

as it's been about me, you have

1:10:17

a lot to share. So just

1:10:20

share, like,

1:10:20

You

1:10:23

know? Yeah. What? Yeah. Share a bit about

1:10:25

you. So I work as

1:10:26

a menstrual cycle awareness coach and

1:10:29

I'm a trained natural fertility teacher.

1:10:31

and I most of my time at them

1:10:34

training other facilitators to integrate menstrual

1:10:36

cycle awareness and

1:10:38

menstruality into their practice. So some

1:10:40

coaches, yoga teachers, downdrafts like all sorts.

1:10:43

We've got a real mix. So

1:10:45

sort of my most of

1:10:47

my time doing, got written

1:10:49

a book and maybe I'll

1:10:51

do one of those again one day,

1:10:53

but now yeah. With the

1:10:55

London, Australian, married. considering

1:10:59

a

1:10:59

family soon, all those

1:11:01

things. Oh, that's so exciting.

1:11:04

Yeah. Yeah. It is.

1:11:06

I'm really taking the, like, taking

1:11:08

it into this winter here and then

1:11:10

all the atmosphere to just, like, really be with what it just with

1:11:13

they were like it.

1:11:16

Like, feel

1:11:16

into that spirit baby, I guess.

1:11:18

Yes. I've gone to school for the last few months. And

1:11:20

did

1:11:21

you say the same?

1:11:23

You cut out. feel

1:11:26

you seem to feel

1:11:27

into yeah. Just to feel into that

1:11:29

spirit

1:11:29

baby that we were

1:11:30

talking about because I've definitely felt that

1:11:34

disconnect.

1:11:34

Like, I would say, kind of in May this year, it was that it was just it get it's

1:11:37

it's just

1:11:40

all income think it feels really full

1:11:42

on when that year name is there. And maybe it's not sustainable to do that all the time because

1:11:44

I wanna be able to, like,

1:11:46

function because it does feel like it's

1:11:50

just like, oh, then it goes.

1:11:52

So it's kind of gone. And I'm like, oh,

1:11:54

what if I'm reconnecting with that? So

1:11:56

I'm taking that into the next few months

1:11:59

into

1:11:59

the winter

1:11:59

here in the northern hemisphere.

1:12:02

And it's

1:12:02

great this conversation we've had.

1:12:04

I've loved it because it's so

1:12:07

relevant to a lot of the questions I have about the mystery of having

1:12:09

a business and being a

1:12:11

mom and also being

1:12:12

a

1:12:15

great partner and nurturing Honouring.

1:12:17

and the love and

1:12:20

everything. It's just like,

1:12:22

it's so useful to have these conversations. So thanks for having it with me.

1:12:24

And you're

1:12:26

on Instagram. I'm at underscore

1:12:31

clear baker underscore on

1:12:33

my website is clear baker

1:12:35

dot com. How do you

1:12:37

spell clear? ZLAIRA

1:12:38

-- Yes.

1:12:40

-- and then KKER

1:12:43

Great. Well,

1:12:45

good luck with you know -- Mhmm.

1:12:47

-- kinda connecting back

1:12:48

in with your womb in that way in this

1:12:50

spirit baby. And I think you'd be a wonderful

1:12:52

mother. Oh.

1:12:53

You're not ever gonna

1:12:55

regret it. no

1:12:56

regrets becoming a mom. Like,

1:12:58

that's a general comment, but, like, really. Once you

1:13:00

once you, like,

1:13:03

birth that baby, and hold it

1:13:05

in your arms, your whole life changes, and you never look back and go, oh, wish I didn't do this. It's

1:13:08

just like

1:13:12

Yeah. There's just it's just I

1:13:14

you just go from being, like, a

1:13:16

maiden maiden

1:13:19

to mother and life

1:13:22

life just it's just it's amazing.

1:13:24

It's just

1:13:27

beautiful watching you.

1:13:28

hi beautiful what

1:13:30

become a mom

1:13:31

again over the last couple of

1:13:34

years.

1:13:34

And hearing you share

1:13:36

more

1:13:36

about what it is. You love about

1:13:39

it so much. It's like

1:13:40

Yeah. It's a real pleasure

1:13:42

for thanks. Hopefully, we get pregnant again

1:13:43

soon. Actually, that would be great. Maybe -- Yeah. --

1:13:46

then we'll

1:13:47

do another episode.

1:13:49

How many

1:13:52

babies do you want? Like, I

1:13:54

totally would like two more,

1:13:56

but I'm forty. Okay. So

1:13:58

even if I got

1:13:59

pregnant now, I'd be forty one by

1:14:02

the time I get birth. Mhmm.

1:14:03

And then so

1:14:04

I'm just like, oh, my

1:14:06

my clock is actually ticking like, I don't doubt I

1:14:08

could be pregnant. You know, some people get

1:14:10

pregnant. I've got a friend

1:14:11

friend who got pregnant at age fifty

1:14:14

two. She had a second baby aged fifty

1:14:16

two. That is not my But I do

1:14:18

I don't I don't doubt I could probably continue to get pregnant to say

1:14:20

forty five, but I don't

1:14:22

have a desire to be like

1:14:25

forty five, and I'm gonna have my third

1:14:27

kid or fourth kid it would be. Sure. But I ultimately feel like I want

1:14:29

to more, but I just don't know

1:14:31

how I'm gonna squeeze

1:14:35

them

1:14:35

in. I just I don't

1:14:37

I don't, like, I don't feel like

1:14:40

I have just one more in me.

1:14:42

that's just weird because I'm like,

1:14:44

does it need to

1:14:47

be twins? Oh,

1:14:48

yeah.

1:14:49

When I think of that, that would be the dream.

1:14:51

So if I get pregnant with twins, that would

1:14:53

be great. because I'm

1:14:55

just like, cool. Juliet

1:14:58

by two more, but I you

1:15:01

know? Yeah. Yeah.

1:15:02

Not uncommon

1:15:03

as well to,

1:15:05

like, Oh,

1:15:06

sure. That's too long.

1:15:08

My god imagine if you just

1:15:10

predicted it and then we'll see.

1:15:12

I'll keep you posted. you'll be one

1:15:14

of the first to know.

1:15:15

Yeah. You have very cold. Wow.

1:15:18

Yeah. Hold that intention with you,

1:15:20

and thanks having to go back on

1:15:22

the shower. thanks

1:15:23

for coming on the show. This

1:15:26

episode of Authentic

1:15:29

Sex is sponsored by Amplify. Amplify is

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a new online community for men that

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1:16:30

you for listening to this

1:16:33

episode of the Authentic Sex podcast.

1:16:35

If you love the show,

1:16:37

please head on over to iTunes and

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free. And if you'd like to join

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find me on Instagram. Juliet,

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underscore allen, a double LEN

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You can also head on over

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to my website to join Pleasure School or purchase your very own Juliet crystal Pleasure

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dot juliet

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hyphen Allen com.