4:00

briefly. Wait, wait. I

4:02

knew it in my phone. No, well, let's guess which one, because not

4:04

both. You went to a school that had both.

4:07

A karate tekondou, kind of like, it's like

4:09

a Taco Bell fucking pizza. Taco Bell pizza,

4:12

yeah. Karate

4:14

tekwondo. And

4:16

sometimes jiu jitsu. Only

4:19

on Sundays. They do jiu jitsu

4:22

on Sundays. What was your master's name? What?

4:26

Your master, the sensei. Oh, oh, oh. What

4:28

was his name? I don't

4:30

remember. I think I was like four or five. Okay. Can

4:33

you describe him? I

4:36

don't remember him. I

4:38

just remember asking to use the bathroom

4:40

at one point and being scared to do that.

4:42

Oh, you took one class. I, I,

4:45

Yeah, one class. Did you, was your

4:48

instructor Asian? I

4:50

think so. I hope so. Isn't

4:53

that kind of, shouldn't that be a rule?

4:56

No, what rule? You'd have to be Asian to

4:58

be a karate instructor or tekwondo instructor. Yeah,

5:01

but I've had jambalaya made by an Asian

5:04

person. Not as good. The

5:06

jambalaya was pretty good. It's just not as good. Just

5:09

in your mind, the

5:12

problem with me was I went to the bathroom

5:14

and I peeked in the kitchen and there was

5:16

a Chinese guy back there. In a Cajun restaurant?

5:18

In a Cajun restaurant. And all the servers were

5:20

black. So I made the mistake.

5:22

But if you hadn't, if I hadn't looked, I would

5:24

have been like, oh, that's the best jambalaya I've ever

5:27

had. Here's the deal. If you're in

5:29

a Cajun restaurant, black or white Southern people,

5:31

I'm in. If a Chinese

5:33

guy is making my jambalaya, I'm out.

5:36

Why? What if we have-

5:38

I'm not there to eat jambaraya. Oh

5:41

yeah, there is a little bit of

5:44

jambalaya. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want jambalaya.

5:46

I want soul food deep. You know

5:48

what? Maybe it is possible. But how

5:50

about this? I like my Mexican food

5:52

by Mexicans. Sure. I like my

5:54

jambalaya by Cajun people. And I like

5:56

my karate instructors to be Asian. Okay, how about

5:58

this? If the karate instructor- was Indian,

6:01

would that be a problem? Hilarious.

6:04

I know, I know. Anyway, so you

6:06

don't remember because if he's Asian. I

6:08

don't remember for sure, yeah. Can I get my glasses off for

6:10

a second? No. I'm gonna look at your eyes

6:13

real quick. You

6:15

didn't sleep well last night, huh? I

6:17

think I went to bed a little late. What

6:20

were you doing? Hold on. Oh,

6:22

can we guess? Yeah, let's guess. Give

6:24

me three, you go three. We only get

6:26

one. Okay, one. So greedy. I

6:28

know. I'm gonna guess you

6:31

were editing something. No. Okay.

6:33

You were scrolling. No. What

6:35

were you doing? I watched Ricky Stenicki.

6:40

You've watched the movie I did? Yeah, and

6:42

then I watched your Sweet Dreams today. Wow.

6:45

You watched those because why? So

6:47

that I would have more knowledge of that.

6:49

That's great. I

6:53

have never seen Sweet Dreams. Neither have I. Yeah, yeah,

6:55

yeah. They were good. You like the

6:57

movies? Yes. Okay, interesting. What

7:00

are your problems with it? And I'm okay. This

7:02

will be open. No problem. Because I

7:04

would be critical of your movies as well. In

7:07

fact, when we get home tonight, we'll watch 20, what

7:09

is it? The movie, who was it?

7:11

I've already seen all of the movies he's been in. They're

7:14

all pretty good. So they are? Yeah, they're really good at the

7:16

stuff that we've done, I think. Okay. He's

7:18

done a lot of big movies. Thank you. Yeah.

7:21

I think Yale's movies are better. Nope. No. You're

7:24

wrong about that. But give us our criticisms of our films.

7:26

I like this a lot. What,

7:29

of what, to what level? Rip

7:32

us to shreds. Rip us, be complete. How about

7:34

this? You and I are

7:37

best friends and also brothers. What? What?

7:40

What the fuck? I know in this scenario. Okay,

7:42

but. Yeah, and you're cut out of this. Wow.

7:45

Yeah, yeah. And just for like two minutes, you're gonna be not that. Bring

7:47

me back. In two minutes, I will. Okay.

7:50

So for right now, vroom, vroom. No,

7:54

you're not at mime. What's going on? What, no, that's

7:56

not what I'm, you used the wrong power. Frink. Yeah,

7:59

yeah, yeah, sorry. different powers how when you

8:01

do that I'm gonna transfer him into your

8:03

I know we have the same relationship so

8:05

be very critical and I'm an open book

8:07

no judgment here okay please go ahead if

8:09

you need help we can help really that

8:14

zombie move you're gonna do is gonna be just as good you think I

8:17

don't think so named after Vegas's famous yeah yeah

8:19

why is why is your movie everyone trying to

8:24

talk me out of not doing it I've

8:26

never had I have agents call me I don't even talk to it see

8:28

I like consider reconsider yeah and I'm

8:30

like yeah but he's my friend he's our friend

8:32

we've never heard of him we don't like the

8:35

script no we don't like anything about it no

8:37

so go fuck yourself okay go ahead Dex

8:42

I thought that I was

8:44

confused why the softball

8:47

tournament paid so much money to

8:49

the winners how much did it pay to the winners $80,000 that is an

8:53

insane amount of money I didn't that's

8:55

how much they win for a softball tournament let

8:58

me tell you something I was in a 16-inch no

9:00

glove Chicago style softball league when I first moved here

9:03

the winner got free

9:05

chicken wings at the

9:07

thirsty merchant I don't even know what it used

9:09

to be called yeah that's it we got a

9:12

but you got wings yeah 80 grand it's

9:14

a well

9:16

the budget of the movie is one million dollars and

9:18

you're stretching it out there's a lot of people in

9:20

the movie I think they should have put some

9:22

more money into that because visually it doesn't

9:24

look like the hot steaks are high enough is what

9:27

you're saying 80,000 that you know how I didn't write

9:29

it and I'm not the producer made for a good

9:31

climax thank you no he's saying that's

9:33

an absurd thing for a people to

9:35

win and I mean look at that cast it all

9:37

right so that's Johnny Knoxville

9:39

Theo Vaughn you and

9:41

whom shake well shake well

9:44

yeah interesting that's his name you

9:46

don't know shake well I

9:48

don't know shake well I'm gonna

9:50

tell you this it's so funny I just I just figured you out

9:52

just now oh I just had

9:54

that in epiphany he only likes hip-hop artists if they're

9:56

thinner zoom in to shake well Don't

10:01

make fun of Shae, he's a funny guy. I'm

10:03

sure he is. Great rapper. I'm sure he is.

10:05

Yeah, I like my rappers not

10:07

diabetic. I'm sure.

10:10

Shae, we're just playing. We're J-P'ing. He's a

10:12

rapper, he knows. He knows. Go

10:15

ahead. So that's the only problem? Or give me another one. Do

10:18

y'all have any suggestions? No,

10:20

Dax, we want you to give it to

10:22

him. Dax, it's you. Okay. I'm

10:25

fine with what you just said. Let's move on

10:27

with performances. Do you have any

10:31

performances problems? No,

10:33

is there any performances problems? Let

10:35

me think. Oh,

10:37

no, no. But there

10:39

were a couple lines that felt

10:42

like they could have been less

10:45

cheesy. But

10:47

the movie was very, I didn't give any compliments yet. Yeah,

10:49

go ahead, give me some compliments. No, no, no. Yes, yes,

10:51

yes, yes. No, I think we only do disses. Then

10:54

the compliments later? No compliments. Let

10:57

me sit. I know what you're about to say. The

10:59

movie was heartfelt. Yeah. Let me see.

11:02

That's all I needed to hear. We did do really well. It's a heartfelt

11:04

movie and I really liked it and thank you so much. Let's go to

11:06

Sticky Snicky. Sticky

11:09

Ninky? Go ahead. Okay. Wait,

11:12

compliments or? No, no, I don't want

11:14

any compliments. Yeah, let's go diss. Okay,

11:16

so for Ricky Stinky, maybe,

11:22

oh, maybe they forgave a

11:25

little too close. They're not going to do anything quickly.

11:27

We forgave Ricky. The wife

11:30

forgave them pretty quickly. At the

11:32

end, yes. I totally agree. But

11:35

no compliments. Oh, nice.

11:37

That's the only criticism. No,

11:41

it's appalling. It wasn't as heartfelt

11:44

as some other movies. No, it was like a comment. It

11:46

was a sweet dream. So you're saying Sweet Dreams is more

11:49

heartfelt. Yeah. It connected

11:51

your heart. Maybe. And it pulled on

11:53

your strings a little bit better. Yeah. Oh yeah, ours was a comedy.

11:56

Joe's ours. Okey

11:59

dokey. Whatever you

12:01

say. All right bud, okay bud. Who directed

12:03

that? Sweet dreams. My friend Lige. Oh,

12:06

Lige did it? Yeah. Who did mine?

12:08

Was it a fucking like a, who was it?

12:11

Was it a guy? Who was it? Yeah, it

12:13

was a comedy legend, Peter Farley. Oh fuck, that

12:15

guy did mine? This

12:18

guy is such an asshole. Sometimes he's

12:20

bragging, but he does it in a communic way

12:22

and we forgive him, but it's also gross. Happy

12:25

for you, Lige. Bang,

12:27

bang, bang, bang, bang. Thank you so much for that. Are

12:31

you that guy? I

12:33

don't buy them, but if my friends have them, I'll watch.

12:36

It's like weed, yeah, I'm not gonna buy it, but I'll

12:38

smoke it if you got it. Okay. Yeah.

12:41

You don't ever smoke weed? No. Do you

12:43

want to? No. Will you ever

12:45

be down to take an edible with me? A

12:48

small one, like a five milligram. It's

12:50

a tiny little high. Maybe

12:52

a tiny, tiny one. Yeah? What

12:55

about a chocolate mushroom? We have a bag full of

12:57

them here. No, not

12:59

right now. Okay. You wouldn't do

13:01

it now? It's 4th of July. Well,

13:04

our forefathers did it. Yeah, they did.

13:07

I feel like it just, I don't

13:10

want something bad to happen, like

13:12

if it goes wrong for me. I'll keep you safe, I promise, but

13:14

we won't. You mean having a bad trip? Yeah. Okay,

13:17

yeah, okay. Have you had a bad trip before? No, no.

13:20

Good. Yeah, good. You

13:22

know, Dax, why don't you get into science? Why

13:25

don't I get into science? Why didn't you get into science?

13:28

You look like a scientist. I'm not that good

13:30

at that. Oh, so

13:32

God only gave you the look. Maybe.

13:35

Yeah, what a bummer. But he has the gait

13:37

of a scientist? What's the gait

13:39

of a scientist? Gait, his stride, the way he walks. Dude,

13:41

that's what I'm saying, the look, everything about him. The dress.

13:45

Thanks. I'm giving you that. He's

13:47

adding on. I'm giving you that, right. Yeah, he's a scientific

13:49

gait. He has the smell

13:51

before. Stand up for

13:53

a second. Watch how he stands.

13:55

Tell me this isn't a fucking scientist. Oh my God.

13:57

Now stay there for a second. Put

14:00

your jacket in the water down. I just like to see how you

14:02

science. Let's see. Okay, do

14:05

this. Just like you're holding something. That's

14:08

a Bunsen burner. That's a beaker. No, that's a

14:10

Bunsen burner. Oh, it's a Bunsen burner. Oh, it's

14:12

in your other hand. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

14:15

whoa, whoa. Be careful. That just belongs in a

14:17

lab, dude. Come on, dude. What are you doing

14:19

with that? What is that? That's gringling. Put it

14:21

in the Bunsen. Whoa! Whoa, dude. And

14:24

then drink it, drink it. Don't do it, Jack. Don't

14:27

drink it. Don't. And

14:29

then change. Oh. That's

14:34

how he changes into the Hulk. You are

14:36

a scientist. Just, yeah. I

14:40

like you. You know, I like

14:42

you so much. I like you so much, though, too. And

14:45

I watch all your videos online. And you've been making some really

14:47

new good ones, by the way. Thank you.

14:49

Andrew, but can I, before you do this, could

14:51

I, because the Hulk thing, I'm

14:54

sorry. I've always wanted to

14:56

learn how to act in a transformation.

14:59

Would you mind transforming for us? No, I mean, let's

15:01

us try. I've always wanted to do that. Well, I'd

15:03

like someone to teach us. Yeah, can

15:05

you teach us about a Hulk transformation? So

15:08

I'd say just get into like a, you're supposed to

15:10

be on the verge of like, something's making you angry

15:13

and you're trying to hold it back. Oh,

15:15

so let's go there. That's this entire show. Let's do

15:17

that now. Let's do that now. Yeah.

15:19

Oh. And

15:24

then it slowly creeps up on you that you just

15:26

can't hold it back. What

15:30

else? There's gotta be more in there. So you're

15:32

trying really hard to hold it back. Because

15:36

if it comes out, it's the worst thing that

15:38

could happen. You are gonna freak out. No, no,

15:40

don't do it. I meant my

15:43

sister's permit. So you're holding it in. And

15:45

then whenever you're at your breaking point, that's when you

15:48

turn like super angry and just let loose. Let

15:50

me think of something that really makes me angry. Oh

15:53

my God. Happy fourth.

15:56

Happy fourth. Do

15:59

you know what fourth of July stands for? You know

16:01

what it means? No, independence thing. What

16:03

is that? Independence from whom, do you know?

16:06

Britain. Why, do you know why?

16:10

Because people came from

16:12

Britain and then there

16:14

was like a tea party or something. You got it. No

16:18

taxation without? Fixations. Right.

16:22

No taxation without fixations. That's why smoking

16:25

became a big hit. We had oral

16:27

fixations. All kinds of fixations, dude. No

16:30

taxation without fixation, therefore guns,

16:33

alcohol, cigarettes, that's what that

16:35

freedom. Freedom. My

16:37

friend, okay, can

16:40

I say another thing? Yes. Just

16:42

a little observation. You kind of look like Paul Revere right

16:44

under me. You gonna

16:46

take a midnight ride? Have you taken

16:48

midnight rides before? Like in my car? Yeah.

16:51

Yeah. Have you ever yelled out that the British

16:53

are coming? No. Next

16:55

time you're driving around. Just open your

16:57

window and yell out the British. It's gotta be the 101 though. Will you

16:59

film that, send it to us? Have you yelling the British are coming out

17:01

your window? Yeah, I can do that. Yeah, yeah. I

17:04

love that. That'd be great. But say it

17:06

like they are coming. Well, they are. I

17:08

know they are, but don't go, British are coming, whatever, you know what I mean? Like

17:11

really, like they're coming. They're

17:13

coming from Britain. Show him with one

17:15

of the flags here waving out the window. Show him what

17:17

it would be like to yell out the British are coming.

17:20

Being real? Being very real. What's the flag

17:22

do? Well, it's letting people know that you're

17:24

with us. It's me, Paul. Oh

17:27

yeah, yeah. So I'm in the car like this, right?

17:30

Yeah. Oh shit. Don't

17:32

spill. That's a window? Mm-hmm. I'll

17:35

do the sound of the window. No, here's what it, somebody

17:37

has to, I know what it

17:39

is. I check a voicemail. That's

17:41

how I learn about the information. Why

17:43

I just got a new voice for her. Boop. You

17:46

have one message. Oh. I

17:48

got two. Oh. What? That

17:50

was really funny. I didn't know that. I thought we were gonna

17:52

go, okay, ready? What the fuck did you think I was gonna

17:54

fucking do? All that, all that, all that, all that. Yeah.

17:57

Mm. Shit. Mmm

18:01

traffic. Let me get into this

18:03

for a while. Yeah, do your thing Fucking

18:05

old people know. Oh, that's Asian

18:07

fuck my bad Okay.

18:10

Oh, I have a I have a voice.

18:12

Oh, holy shit. I'm an aggro driver You

18:16

have one new voice message from

18:18

your mom Bobby

18:20

mom To

18:25

accept press one Fuck

18:28

one Bob

18:31

I'm in prison. I Go

18:34

away for a long time. Love you

18:47

What is she doing in prison, how do I know the

18:49

British are coming from that? That's

18:53

the key indicator that's she's that

18:55

is the code that's her code

18:57

word Connection between British people

18:59

are coming. Okay, so it's like you have

19:01

to be more specific. No Dax. Let's do

19:03

the math God Bob's

19:06

mom goes to prison. Let's investigate. Why

19:08

do you think she's there? British

19:11

person the British person did of course

19:13

you truly believe that dad's one of

19:15

you look at me right now, dude

19:18

Look at me right now, dude. If your

19:20

mom called you and says I'm in prison. That's

19:22

what you would connect it The British are coming.

19:24

Yeah Look at me

19:27

Dax Dax Dax be real and now for

19:29

comedy be real look at me right now.

19:32

You think so? You

19:37

know what I love about you you can't lie, thank

19:40

you. Yeah, you haven't heard a second message.

19:42

Yeah, there's another Yeah,

19:45

I think there's a bunch yeah, there's

19:47

a bunch of messages. All

19:49

right, so you have another Well,

19:52

I gotta go after that mess I go

19:54

My mom's in prison again. Hello Is

20:01

that the- is that my voice? It

20:03

hasn't happened yet. Let me press the button. It

20:05

must be malfunctioning. It's malfunctioning. Hold on, get to

20:07

the button. No, that's my head. You know what

20:10

I mean? That's my other guy in there. All

20:12

right. God, my mom's in prison. What

20:14

the fuck? Again? God, I

20:16

got another message. Beep. Hello.

20:18

You're in trouble. I'm going

20:21

to take- I'm going to tax you. Unfairly.

20:24

I'll be at your house

20:26

when you get there. Holy fuck, not again. Not

20:30

again. Beep. The

20:33

British are coming! Dude,

20:37

you're right. That was great. By the way, you're- I wish

20:39

an English accent would have been nice. I'm sorry. I'm

20:42

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

20:44

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

20:47

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

20:49

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Your

20:52

English accent would have been nice. It was kind

20:54

of- Your English would have brought me back more

20:56

grounded into the situation. I was trying to. I

20:59

don't know. I don't know it off the top of my head. You don't

21:01

know? Okay. I'll do

21:03

it for you. You can drive and I'll do- I don't want to

21:05

do the- you be the British now. I'm going to see how- well,

21:07

you do it. Here, get a flag. I'm the British person. No, no,

21:09

no. You're you and- You're in the car

21:11

again. And you hear a voicemail. But do the driving.

21:13

You know what I mean? Let's get into the scene.

21:15

Get into it. Right? You

21:18

have a voicemail, whatnot. You drive. Yeah,

21:20

good. Yeah. What

21:22

is that? A Volkswagen? What is that?

21:24

A bug? What are you driving?

21:26

Oh, a Subaru. A Subaru. Outback

21:28

or impressive? Cross-track. Cross-track, nice.

21:31

Yeah, but why is the steering wheel

21:33

like on the side? There's a little

21:35

off-center. It's off-center. Oh, all

21:37

right. Okay. Okay, good.

21:42

Let him do it. Let him act and get

21:44

into it. Yeah, but do the driving and do whatnot and

21:46

whatever you do, yeah. No,

21:49

how about this? I'm going to

21:51

raise my hand and that's when you do it. I'm the

21:53

director. Wait, what do I do? I'm going to go like this and then

21:55

the voicemail. Oh, okay. All right, so just because I'm

21:57

the director, I want to see a little bit of this world here. That's

32:00

great, yeah, give her a job. The way you pause, I

32:02

love that. Way to go, Delaney. Anyway, Delaney. Way to go.

32:04

Thank you, Delaney. I called her Panini when I first met

32:06

her. That's where I thought her name was,

32:08

Panini. Well, it is what- It sounded-

32:11

Only white people go there, I think. I'll

32:13

do it fast. Ask me what my name is, I'm her. What's

32:16

your name? I didn't. That's what she said. Well, that's what it sounded

32:18

like to me. It sounded like- Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so what did

32:20

you get out of that? A donut.

32:23

A donut. Yeah, yeah, a donut. All right, well- Can

32:25

I call you Donut? Okay. I'll

32:28

call you Panini. All right, anyway- Wait

32:31

a minute, get back. Wait, whose

32:33

hat is this? Brand new. It's

32:35

so itchy in my head. What would

32:37

you call your strip club if you owned it? If you owned a

32:39

strip club? Dax's

32:41

strip club, okay. What? Dax's

32:44

strip club. Oh, hey man,

32:46

what do you wanna do tonight, man? Oh, I don't know,

32:49

man, probably go over to Dax's. You

32:51

can go to Dax's strip, I mean, they don't have

32:53

a cover, that's great. No, they don't

32:55

have a cover, there's no girls there. I know, man, so it's

32:57

just a bar, man. Well, but he just stands there and looks

32:59

at you. I know. I kinda like him. Yeah,

33:01

yeah, yeah, he doesn't sleep much. He hasn't

33:03

slept in days. Dax under his eyes, yeah. Yeah, poor guy.

33:06

Poor guy. Let's go to Dax's. Yeah, we gotta go. We'll

33:08

go see that guy. What would your strip club be called

33:10

if you had one? Coconut

33:13

banana. Oh,

33:15

your two favorite flavors? Yeah, two coconuts, one banana.

33:18

Right. Oh, men too. Two

33:21

coconuts, one banana, what do you think?

33:23

It's for bisexuals. No. They're

33:25

not one person. I mean, just the coconuts would, the

33:28

tits and the, anyway, I

33:30

try to do a plan. That's what he just said. No, but he's

33:32

saying that it's on one body. It can

33:34

be. Yeah, you can, why can't it be? Oh, you

33:36

took it there. I know, exactly. I thought there'd be

33:38

like a section with men and a section with women,

33:40

and if you like both, you can go to both.

33:42

Ooh, ooh, ooh, this is a great idea. A strip

33:45

club where- Dude, I just, you just blew my mind

33:47

on what? Kinda like a smoking section, a non-smoking section

33:49

restaurants used to have. Yeah, yeah. You could have a

33:51

dude side and a chick side. So then you could

33:53

bring your wife or girlfriend, bring your boyfriend or husband.

33:55

Yeah, yeah. And go, I'll see you in a little

33:57

bit. Split off, do your thing, meet back up. Argentina.

36:02

Argentina. Say

36:04

it with confidence. So, Messi's

36:06

from where? Argentina. Oh,

36:09

great. Very good. Very nice.

36:11

And what soccer club was he playing for most

36:13

of his career? Argentina?

36:15

No. What? Barcelona.

36:22

Barcelona. No,

36:25

you're doing an Italian guy. I know. You're

36:27

going Barcelona. Anyway,

36:31

great. So, you're pretty much bored

36:33

all the time. There's not much

36:35

to do. You don't do much. I

36:37

feel like he reads. He entertains. I don't

36:39

think he reads even either. Do you read?

36:41

I don't read anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm

36:44

not bored, but my life is probably boring

36:46

to other people, but I like it. Well,

36:49

everyone's life is boring to somebody else. His life

36:51

would bore the shit out of me. Dude, I

36:53

was so bored yesterday. What'd you do?

36:55

At night. Yeah. I walked

36:57

around, playing side music, because I

36:59

got one of those Bluetooth speakers, a new one. Pretty

37:02

loud. And I was like, God, I'm so

37:04

miserable right now. Why? I'm

37:07

just alone. You just kind

37:09

of get, you tap into loneliness, and I'm

37:11

just kind of wandering around, and

37:13

I'm going, God, this is, I'm miserable. What

37:16

could you do to change that? Nothing. I just

37:18

have to let it pass. My point is, do you get that way? No,

37:20

I like to be alone. But you never get

37:22

depressed then? Sometimes,

37:25

but not really. Have

37:29

you ever been depressed? Maybe

37:31

in high school. I didn't like high

37:33

school. Yeah. High school kind

37:35

of stuff. That's the last time you were

37:37

fucking depressed. Pretty good, pretty healthy. Good relationship

37:39

with himself. I

37:41

mean, is it spirituality, baby? Why

37:45

do you keep looking over there? They're not going to help you. Penini's

37:47

over there. He keeps looking at Penini. You

37:51

pray? What's going on here, bud? Maybe

37:54

just, I like to just go for walks

37:56

and listen to music and... Same. And

38:02

then if something sad happens, I definitely feel depressed.

38:04

Mmm Then what would happen? You have

38:06

a dog or a cat or anything? No, no,

38:09

no animal But if if I feel like you like

38:11

lizards or something There's

38:14

like look at this, I mean chameleon

38:17

I got or spider. I do like I

38:19

do like lizards Yeah, yeah. Yeah, if one

38:21

if I had one and it died I

38:23

would be depressed. There we go. I Mean

38:27

that makes sense. Yeah I

38:30

think that would make sense because makes perfect. You love them.

38:32

True. Yeah. Yeah, but you've never had one So, how do

38:34

you even know? Well, I mean,

38:37

I know shit tastes bad, but I've never tasted

38:39

it. That is true But like you have a

38:41

dog. I love your dog. What's her

38:43

name? Cubby cubby the Cubs the

38:45

cub is I've Been

38:48

on planes with the Cubs. She likes you.

38:50

Yeah, she feels good. I like you

38:52

dude She feels comfortable with you and here's why

38:54

why she knows that you're an animal

38:56

guy She really doesn't

38:58

like people that aren't animal guys or gals, right? You

39:01

know when someone lies to you and say they like

39:03

dogs and then they come into your fucking house and

39:05

they fake pet Your dog and you're like you don't

39:07

have to do that. It's okay if you don't like

39:09

dogs. Yeah, and they go like this Doggie,

39:13

yeah, yeah doggy Good.

39:16

Yeah, you know like I know it's okay. I'm although I

39:18

had a girl at my house. She goes cats

39:20

and I went leave That Quick

39:24

get out it already. It's like a red flag

39:26

It's like what are you talking about and

39:29

another one made a snide comment like as

39:31

she entered my you know that my downstows area As

39:33

she enters you got that smells like cats.

39:36

I go. Yeah, it's a good smell. There's cats here.

39:38

Yeah Yeah, it's a good smell what you're gonna do

39:40

about it And she

39:42

goes nothing. Why are you so weird? I got

39:44

nothing either You're I mean

39:46

don't say shit like that whatever you're like,

39:48

I'm so defensive. Well, yeah, it's yours Yeah,

39:50

and it's you love them. Yeah, so I

39:52

know you how you are with your dog

39:54

Yeah, like it's an extension of you

39:56

it is what you laughing

40:00

It's just one of the girls that runs

40:03

off your car quickly. I

40:08

can't hear a word he's saying. I didn't understand the joke. So it's

40:10

like. What did he say? I know it's gonna, I know it's gonna

40:12

make me mad. Yeah. But I'm kind of glad I

40:14

didn't hear it. So slow it down. What did he say? McCone,

40:16

what did he say? What did he say, McCone? Is

40:19

there one of the girls that run from your

40:21

car quickly? Oh, is it

40:24

one of the girls that ran from your car quickly? That

40:26

you tried to kiss. I get it. Always

40:29

taking shots. When are you going to Spain? Don't

40:32

come back. Listen, I'll be

40:34

honest. Honest, dude. You

40:36

wanna do real talk? Hit him hard. No, no.

40:38

No, hit him hard. Let's do real talk. Hit him

40:40

hard, baby. I wanna do real talk. No real talk.

40:42

Because I love you, man. I wanna do real talk.

40:44

All right. It's been a pleasure, dude.

40:48

Right? Am I not right? Yeah, I know. This is

40:50

how you do it when you. It's very nice. When

40:52

you fire somebody, you pay that before. You know what

40:54

I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been a pleasure. And

40:57

it's really, what a, memories is what we

40:59

built together. We did. We did, right? We

41:01

did. Yeah, but what I wanna say

41:03

is you're on your last leg. That's it?

41:07

Okay. I had to tell her a

41:10

couple of days ago, I can't hang out. Because

41:13

I know I'm in the friend zone. And

41:15

it really hurt me. The FZ. Yeah. And

41:18

so I know you, I don't know why you're

41:20

crying so hard. That you left. Yeah,

41:23

what is that? What is wrong with you, dude? He

41:26

hasn't slept in days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The baby's keeping

41:28

him up. Oh, is that what you're justifying for him?

41:31

Gotta be, I mean, what else is it? The guy,

41:33

the guy, dude. No, it's not like

41:35

that. It's not. Okay. Okay.

41:38

Dax, what's your favorite midnight snack? Look, you're up late. Dax

41:40

gets out of bed and goes, I'm snacky. What are

41:42

you going to get? Maybe

41:44

order something from like an

41:46

app. Okay, and what would you order? Where would you go? Maybe

41:50

just get some french fries or something. Just

41:52

fries? Just fries. Yeah. I

41:55

think. Fred

41:58

62, because I live near it. Oh, oh,

42:00

so sweet. Right. Yeah. May I say that

42:02

I love Francisco. Yeah. Still open late. Yeah,

42:05

yeah. 24 seven. Still 24 seven. Yeah.

42:07

Great breakfast sandwich at three in the morning if you want one.

42:10

Phenomenal. I'll tell you what I had the other night at two

42:12

in the morning. It's I don't know.

42:14

It's not a I don't know what brand it is, but

42:16

it's they're like they look like

42:18

fries, the chips, but they're fiery. And on

42:20

the cover of it, there's a cheetah. Cheetah?

42:24

That's not cheetah. Flamin' hot cheetah. No,

42:26

there's another cheetah. Takis? Yeah.

42:29

It's that. Oh, Chesters. Chesters. But the same

42:31

thing. I know. But anyway. I like how

42:33

you go not Cheetos. It's the same fucking

42:36

thing. It's not. It's a that's not a

42:38

Cheeto. That's a Chester. Chesters are made by

42:40

Cheetos. Are they really? You think

42:42

they fucking have a mutual split over

42:44

a iconic figure? I think

42:47

they're two different Tigers, no? Chester is his

42:49

name. Chester Cheetah is the fictional character by

42:51

Frito-Lace. Oh, I don't know. When

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43:26

I ate a whole bag of

43:28

those fiery fries. Delicious. Very delicious.

43:30

Yeah. But then the next morning,

43:32

I'm a little embarrassed. You paid for it. You paid for

43:34

it. I paid for it on this way. This

43:37

tooth right here, right in

43:39

the back of it, was just

43:41

the mush of it, cake into my

43:44

tooth. Did you

43:46

didn't brush? I didn't brush. I brushed. Then

43:48

I went to bed. I'm hungry. I know

43:50

there's a bag in my drawer. I ate

43:52

it, went back to sleep. And

43:54

in the morning, I had this gigantic mush

43:57

stop. You know what I mean? Cake

43:59

onto my tooth. Right and I had I

44:01

had that I couldn't do with a toothbrush because it's gross to

44:03

do with the toothless So I had I had to do it

44:05

at least say it was really bad. Then you had breakfast Yeah,

44:08

they came back out you put it right back in

44:10

I think did they eat it back in you gotta

44:13

yeah Yeah, do you brush multiple times a day twice

44:15

a day morning and night and that's it. Yeah, you

44:17

ever do a midday brush No, little cleanup. No, no

44:20

No, no flaws. I should

44:23

Yeah, it looks good. It's fine. Do you're like

44:25

a clean Extending

44:29

citizen. I just realized thank you. You brush

44:31

your teeth Right,

44:33

you pay your bills. Mm-hmm all your

44:36

and all your um Expenses

44:38

are paid for right like you know,

44:40

I'm not expenses like your car rent.

44:42

Do you buy it? Yes, right. It's

44:44

paid for hmm insurance Yes, everything on

44:46

time. Yes. Yeah, do

44:49

you pray? No, okay That's

44:51

what your little you know, what's your credit score?

44:53

I've never looked it up probably

44:55

exceptional. It's gotta be so good I bet you it's

44:57

like yeah 800 and I think the last time he

44:59

told me you don't masturbate that much. I

45:02

didn't say that Show

45:08

me normal and show me show me your hands What's

45:12

a normal amount to you? What

45:15

is it to you? What is it to

45:17

you is a good question? Yeah. Yeah, but he's answering

45:19

with another question. Okay, I To

45:22

me a normal amount would be every other day Unless

45:27

you have a partner unless

45:29

right. Yeah, maybe like that Is

45:32

that what you do? Yeah No

45:37

Nope, you don't tell you why you don't believe it.

45:39

No, I don't yeah back up for a second with the thing Don't

45:42

lie to me for pal Okay, I

45:44

asked you a question. You could have said every other day, but

45:46

you didn't you're gonna see cuz

45:49

you don't know What the normal amount is cuz you do

45:51

it all the time feverishly

45:55

Yeah, you do feverishly. Yeah aggressively

45:57

and that's not my That's

46:00

you. I don't have an

46:02

opinion about that. No judgment here. It sounds like you're

46:05

judging. I'm not judging. I know

46:07

it sounds like it, and I am, but I'm not.

46:09

All right. So

46:11

Guy, can I call you Guy for a sec? Yes. Pocahontas?

46:15

No, no, fuck it. I don't like lies. Are

46:17

you honest? Yeah, yeah. Are you chachi? Can

46:19

I call you chachi? Sure. All right. Lunk.

46:22

Lunk, give me the real amount. Come on, baby. Maybe

46:26

less than every other day. Maybe a

46:29

few times a week. Nice.

46:32

Oh, you went the opposite way. You

46:34

thought it was more. Whoa. Yeah,

46:37

you? Every

46:41

full moon. Oh, because I hear

46:43

the howling, and I don't like it. You

46:45

have to howl when you come? Do I

46:48

have to? It's instinctual. I

46:50

know. Do it again, that howl. Ooh! I

46:53

know. It's not my fault. I

46:55

know. I get up there and I get, I

46:58

get horny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. When I see the moon.

47:00

Whenever the mood strikes me. Yeah, I bark.

47:02

I don't howl. What

47:04

noise do you make? No

47:07

noise. When you complete. That's the

47:09

creepiest one. Right, sorry. This is what you do. This

47:11

is what Dax says. I

47:15

think he goes like this. Completed.

47:21

Completed? Wow, that's really good.

47:25

Is that close? Do

47:27

you ever say something to yourself when you're done, do

47:29

you go, good, Dax? I know, but I could try

47:32

it. Let's try it. Tonight, will you try it?

47:34

Maybe. When you're done tonight, I want

47:36

you to go, very good, Dax. Do

47:39

you like somebody right now? I can tell. You like

47:41

somebody right now. Little crushy-wash? I

47:43

do have a crush, but

47:45

she doesn't live here. How far? New

47:49

York. We only hung

47:51

out a couple of times. It's fine. Oh,

47:53

this is romantic. Love in New York. I love New

47:55

York. New York City.

47:58

New York City. A big apple. Apple. You know

48:00

why they call it that? No. In

48:02

hotels they used to leave an apple on your pillow when they

48:05

used to leave a bed. That's right, and chocolates, or probably not.

48:07

Do you know that? No, why? They

48:09

would call it the big chocolate bed. Yeah. They

48:11

used to leave an apple on your pillow after you

48:14

stayed at a hotel when they turned over the

48:16

hotels. Why did they do that?

48:18

Well, the apple industry had like a stronghold on the

48:20

government and New York was kind of feeding it. Red

48:22

delicious. Yeah, upstate New York was kind of, they

48:24

had an overflow. You know how we use corn

48:27

syrup and everything because corn overgrew? Same thing happened

48:29

in the northern New York,

48:31

northern New York state, upstate, and they just were like, we have

48:33

to get rid of a lot of these apples, so. Hey, pal.

48:36

They forced the hand, and this is a lie, but.

48:38

I know it is, it's a lie, but it was

48:40

so good. It's a long lie. It's a long lie.

48:42

Did you believe any of it? Well, just until you

48:44

started explaining it. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a

48:46

fun exercise, you know what I mean, of like kind

48:49

of just trying to be, have

48:51

knowledge about a thing. Yeah. Like

48:53

beef jerky. You and I do this on

48:55

that show. I love it. Every single day.

48:57

It's fun, but with you, I wanna ask

48:59

about this real love situation, right? I'm so

49:01

interested. I'm so interested. And honestly, we're not

49:03

teasing you. No. We wanna

49:05

help you. We wanna help you. You're our

49:07

dog. You're our guy, okay? So without saying

49:09

any names, I don't want you

49:11

to feel uncomfortable, right? How did you meet

49:13

her? Friend of a friend, and

49:16

then she offered to help me with

49:18

editing thing. A

49:20

video that you did. No. She

49:23

offered. That's important. Very important. Is she

49:25

a fan, you think? No.

49:30

But the friend was. That's

49:32

okay. So the friend loves your shit. I

49:36

don't know how much they like it,

49:38

yeah. But

49:40

that's okay. But you know that you like it a little.

49:42

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's like

49:44

us. We don't know what the degree is. We don't ask.

49:47

What percentage do you like me? I mean, that's insane. But

49:49

my point is, all we know

49:51

is what he likes you. And she probably, if she

49:53

offered to help you edit, she finds you cute. Maybe.

49:57

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah,

49:59

yeah. fuck

56:00

off is all it says yeah yeah I'll get three fuck

56:02

offs okay three fuck off any modifications

56:05

well does it come with guacamole yeah it's extra

56:07

yeah all right okay do you want a blackened

56:10

yeah yeah I don't know what black and fuck

56:12

off sounds like fuck

56:15

off okay

56:18

that's what

56:20

a black

56:25

that's a black and fuck off is so funny dude

56:28

okay I'll be right back yeah that was very do

56:30

that was you do you're on fire today they're just

56:32

humming got your humming to finish the date so the

56:36

dates over you left the restaurant okay

56:41

fucking losing his mind anyway you get a grip

56:43

on this guy so that pink taco was okay

56:45

I mean the fuck I've had better fuck offs

56:48

yeah I mean and I should have gotten blackened I really

56:51

I barely ate it but what are we doing now

56:55

what are you in the mood

56:57

for well we can go watch

56:59

a movie I guess okay

57:03

where what do you

57:05

have what have you watched Oh Furiosa you wanna

57:07

go see Furiosa have you seen it already I've

57:09

seen it yes I do

57:11

okay maybe

57:15

you know but there's probably some new streamers or

57:17

something that come out you

57:20

want to come to my house yeah really

57:24

yeah okay come on we walk in the

57:26

door alright anyway I have

57:28

like nine roommates okay alright this is

57:30

my roommate Tito you met you recognize

57:32

them from the restaurant fuck off anyway

57:35

right he

57:37

knew I

57:45

mean what's a joke yeah yeah so Tito say hi to him

57:47

yeah good to see you what's

57:50

up yeah yeah yeah 15%

57:52

huh piece of shit now

57:56

you treat people in the industry bro sorry yeah

57:58

cheap Oh

58:01

anyway, okay pretty cheap. Yeah. Hey Tito.

58:03

Yeah, that's okay though Tito shut the

58:05

fuck up All right. Okay. All right.

58:07

He you know, he has he hasn't

58:09

been in a movie like 15 years.

58:11

Oh, yeah Yeah, an actor

58:13

bro. Uh, I was and I

58:15

do more tik-toks. Oh, yeah. I fucking

58:17

love tik-tok Anyway Tito. All

58:20

right. Can you just cuz we're gonna peace out later,

58:22

bro. Yeah, yeah, it was Raul and your brothers Yeah,

58:24

Raul you wanna go get him? Yeah Go

58:26

get Raul because I want to introduce him to

58:30

Dax Go get Raul

58:35

Raul Raul

58:39

Yeah, yeah here. He has a

58:41

bike. Yeah, it's got that weird horn. Hey, I'm

58:43

Raul Yeah, hey Raul. Yeah, it's

58:46

so anyway, I just wanna let you know Dax

58:48

like I'm like I mean I've always

58:50

been in open relationships. I fuck all these guys. Yeah, we

58:52

fuck her All of

58:54

us we run a train. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,

58:56

you want to be the caboose? Yeah,

58:58

no, no, thanks. I mean, I mean, you know the

59:00

trains take it off in about 45 minutes Right.

59:04

If you look at the schedule, we have a schedule Yeah,

59:06

right on the wall. Look at the wall and

59:08

it flips like a European train station. Tell you the

59:10

stops Yeah, yeah. So anyway, um, you can

59:12

let him be the front this time Yeah,

59:15

you're always the front. Why didn't you to be the caboose?

59:17

Okay, Raul. All right, I let him all right Right a

59:19

white guy. Yeah. Yeah, but you want to watch something first?

59:22

Sure. Okay. Well, what do you want to watch?

59:26

As some kind

59:28

of movie on you like sci-fi Yeah,

59:31

you do. Mm-hmm Let's

59:34

watch something sci-fi. Okay. Oh,

59:36

I know Hobbit return to

59:38

the Netherlands is

59:40

out. Okay They

59:43

leave the Middle Earth and they go to the

59:45

Netherlands You

59:49

know me and it's like, you know the

59:51

adventure continues I Haven't

59:55

seen the other hobbits. Oh, really? Yeah,

59:57

we should start with the first one the

59:59

destination of whatever Mark. All

1:00:02

right. So you want to watch it? Yes. And it was the star

1:00:04

of it. The guy from the office, the English office. Oh,

1:00:07

yeah. Yeah. What's his name? Freeman. Yeah,

1:00:10

Martin Freeman. Yeah, whatever. Should

1:00:14

we watch it? Yeah. Yeah. So

1:00:17

what are we watching on? Oh,

1:00:19

do you. Raul. Raul. I

1:00:22

don't like the way this guy looks at me, bro. I

1:00:25

know he has a creepy look. If you want me to

1:00:27

leave the TV room, just say so. Yeah. That's

1:00:30

fine. You want me to stay? Can

1:00:33

you watch? Do you actually do you

1:00:35

want to because you've seen all this, uh, but you want

1:00:37

to watch Return to the Netherlands? I

1:00:39

guess for the third time. All right. Let's watch the Netherlands

1:00:41

one. All right. And so we're just going to sit on

1:00:43

the couch and then. Oh, OK.

1:00:45

The TV works. Yeah, of course. OK,

1:00:47

so turn it on, Raul. All

1:00:50

right. So anyway. I'm

1:00:55

going to take off. I got to go. Bro,

1:00:59

why did you put on the second? That's

1:01:01

my favorite movie. I

1:01:05

got to go. In case you guys want to hook up. Are

1:01:08

you going to hook up with my girl? Yeah. Well,

1:01:10

no, the train's taking off. Are you going to hook

1:01:12

up with the train? Take it off, right? Go

1:01:15

get Tino. Go get Tino. No, Sam, get out.

1:01:17

Get all the boys. All the boys. Yeah. Yeah.

1:01:19

You ready? You ready, dude? Here's your

1:01:21

conductor's hat. Ready?

1:01:23

All right. Well, I'm the front right. Yeah,

1:01:27

so I'm bending over. All right. And

1:01:29

we're going to Fresno. That's

1:01:32

where you're born, right? Jojo. Very

1:01:35

good. What a date.

1:01:38

So you landed. You landed. It seemed like that worked. That

1:01:40

worked. Yeah. Oh, what

1:01:43

do you think, Pannini? Is that a kind of date that you'd want to go on?

1:01:46

Is that something that that's not what it

1:01:48

usually goes like? Maybe that's hinge stuff

1:01:50

then. To each his own. To

1:01:53

each their own. To each his own. How many dating apps are you

1:01:55

on? Tender and hinge. Nice.

1:01:58

Why not? What's your name? What's the other one? What's the

1:02:00

big one? Raya. Raya, are you on that? I'm on Raya.

1:02:02

No, no. Why not? I

1:02:05

applied once and they just didn't let me. No,

1:02:07

here's what we do. He can recommend you, right?

1:02:10

Carlos, you're on it? Yeah, I got him. I'm on it.

1:02:12

Mcconnell, you on it yet? No.

1:02:14

He hasn't gotten in. Yeah, yeah, because I denied

1:02:16

his. Wait a minute, you

1:02:18

applied and didn't get in? No, I got a request

1:02:21

from him and I denied it. I have like

1:02:23

six applications. Dude, that's so fucking funny. It's just,

1:02:25

I got in like what? How long did it

1:02:27

take me? Probably a

1:02:29

couple of days. Couple of days, yeah. Days? Yeah. Even

1:02:32

that? No. You're famous. Isn't

1:02:34

that what that whole bullshit is about? Two days.

1:02:37

He's been at it for six months. Still not now.

1:02:39

No, over like two years. Two years is not good.

1:02:41

What's wrong with you guys? They'll never let you in. You're

1:02:43

not gonna get in. I check it every couple of months. Panini,

1:02:45

are you on there? No. Do

1:02:48

you, would you like, would you want to be on those

1:02:50

apps? No, no. No, okay, that's not

1:02:53

for you. You like it naturally. You meeting a guy

1:02:55

on the beach. So you're not on any of the

1:02:57

apps? No. Wow.

1:03:01

That's it for 21, am I crazy, doesn't it? Yeah,

1:03:03

but she has her own style. No, I know, but

1:03:05

everyone's on the apps in your age range. McCone's 25

1:03:07

now. Yeah.

1:03:12

I mean, I don't really use the apps that much.

1:03:14

They're not. So no one that young does, so maybe

1:03:16

it's the people in their 30s use them more. People

1:03:18

are holding on to it. Can't detect. And in their

1:03:20

50s. 30s and

1:03:22

up, I meant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But wait, so the people

1:03:24

in their 20s now, you guys is not, no one's using

1:03:26

them. I mean, everyone just kind of knows that it's all

1:03:28

kind of like, a lot of it

1:03:31

is bot activity, a lot of it's algorithms designed

1:03:33

against you. It's not great. So

1:03:36

their business is dropping. Tinder saw

1:03:38

its paid users fall by nearly 10% last year. That's

1:03:41

fucking huge. Huge. Wow.

1:03:44

Wow. This will continue to fall. You

1:03:46

guys are finally gonna do what we did, which is

1:03:48

go talk to people all the time and

1:03:50

get rejected to your fucking face, which

1:03:53

is actually fucking rad. Getting

1:03:55

rejected is such a healthy part of growing. It

1:03:57

really, even when, it's so funny, when I get

1:03:59

rejected, I was guy do often, you know, and

1:04:01

I'm being real not true. That's bullshit. No, I

1:04:04

do I mean, I mean I have I had

1:04:06

great days. I'm dated. I'm dating somebody right now.

1:04:08

I really like yeah And that's not a rejection.

1:04:10

She really likes me. I like her whatnot, right?

1:04:12

Yeah, you've never been rejected I know but you

1:04:14

mean that other girl that you know what you

1:04:16

were trying to tease me cobra the cobra, right?

1:04:19

She did but then the other day she basically said it's

1:04:21

the age It's

1:04:24

the age yeah, she goes, you know I'm 27

1:04:26

or whatever and you're 52 and when

1:04:28

I'm this age you're gonna be this age and and

1:04:30

she's like I just I don't Think I can do

1:04:32

it. We're all just looking for love. I know and

1:04:34

that's what I told her too And you said I

1:04:37

don't care how and she's just said still the age.

1:04:39

Yeah the age. Okay, that's fine I completely understand and

1:04:41

good luck. She hasn't she's got a hat. She doesn't

1:04:43

have any You

1:04:45

know, she doesn't have What

1:04:48

is it foresight But

1:04:52

now I'm an old man, but the

1:04:54

good news is you die she gets

1:04:56

your shit prenup, dude

1:04:59

No, no, no. Okay, you're not gonna get married

1:05:02

if you live with someone in California for that's

1:05:04

not that's not true Yeah, a hundred percent. It

1:05:06

is not it's not a thing. It absolutely is.

1:05:08

Look it up, California What's it called common common

1:05:10

law? There's no common love in California Yeah, because

1:05:12

he would have gone through it. I would have

1:05:14

gone through it with Kala Yeah, no statue that

1:05:16

confers the right to marry couples There are statues

1:05:18

that were a couple but they're

1:05:20

in fact not but there's got to be something

1:05:22

There is I feel like I've heard horror stories.

1:05:24

Yeah in other states. Yes, not here Yeah,

1:05:27

you know why cuz everybody here is a fucking

1:05:29

child. Nobody grows up. That's it.

1:05:32

Right we live in Peter Pan land

1:05:34

Yeah, but it's it here's

1:05:36

but also what I don't get

1:05:38

is they look at like right now Me

1:05:41

and this girl are having a great time we get along and

1:05:43

this and that right but immediately she lives

1:05:45

not in the moment She lives 20 years down

1:05:47

the line. Yeah. What if this happens? You know,

1:05:49

I mean, I'll die at the same time then

1:05:54

Yeah, that kind of makes sense yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

1:05:57

exactly. Yeah, that's perfect right, but they don't think

1:05:59

that way so it's You know, I live in

1:06:01

the moment. I

1:06:03

don't think about like, oh, if this happens,

1:06:05

this happens. That's insane. The way that the

1:06:07

thing. Well, because it's all going to go

1:06:09

away when you at least expect it. Well,

1:06:11

they say what in the next two years,

1:06:13

we don't fix the environmental problem. It's irreversible.

1:06:15

Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I heard it before.

1:06:17

Show me a couple of videos for fun.

1:06:20

That's me. Tell me this. What was I? I mean,

1:06:22

hungry. Tell me this isn't you. Oh,

1:06:26

he's my friend, dude. Yeah.

1:06:29

Your jacket. I love him, dude. That's

1:06:31

your jacket, your backpack and your hat.

1:06:33

I know. I was like, that's Bobby Lee. I

1:06:36

know. What's that actor's name? Benedict.

1:06:38

Benedict Cumberbatch. Wow. Yeah. That's what he looks like,

1:06:41

Benedict Cumberbatch. Yeah, he just texted me like, in

1:06:43

L.A., we're going to have dinner when he could.

1:06:45

He's a great guy, dude. Well, make sure he

1:06:47

doesn't wear that jacket. But

1:06:49

when he did see me, he did see me, I

1:06:51

was wearing all that stuff. He saw me

1:06:53

perform once and he goes, oh, good look, bro. You

1:06:55

think he's just copy? I mean, I'm not kidding when

1:06:57

I say that. That is 100 percent you. But can

1:07:00

I say this? Now

1:07:02

that I see it on another person. You

1:07:04

see how ridiculous you are? No, no, no. I

1:07:06

see how cool I am. Oh,

1:07:10

am I right, Dax? You know him? Just

1:07:14

from this clip. You've never seen

1:07:16

the movies? That guy? Yeah. He was

1:07:18

in Doctor Strange. No, I haven't seen that. Does

1:07:21

that seem? Yeah. Yeah. See?

1:07:25

Yeah. Now do you remember? Now you remember? Yeah,

1:07:29

yeah. I mean, it's a great guy. It looked

1:07:31

so much like you. It fucking. I love it.

1:07:33

It was like the alternative. If I'm like similar

1:07:36

to that, good. You're giving me

1:07:38

another thing. Not similar. You look exactly like. Here's

1:07:40

a new movie you can do on girls since

1:07:42

you keep getting cobra. Yeah, the lice. Oh, the

1:07:45

lice move. What is it? He's pretending to look

1:07:47

for lice. Oh,

1:07:49

very smart. That guy. That's

1:07:52

smart. Who is that guy? That's

1:07:54

a guy that got a mail order bright off the Internet.

1:07:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But

1:07:59

that's smart. He looks pretend to

1:08:01

look for lice. Yeah. Yeah, does it

1:08:03

have to be lice? What is it?

1:08:05

What are you looking for in somebody's hair? Well, I just saw the

1:08:07

omen What's in the omen? Whoa,

1:08:11

you have to shave their head to see how you go. Are

1:08:14

you the antichrist and then you kind of look Right.

1:08:17

Oh, you give him a kiss. That's just like this

1:08:19

the antichrist symbols on the head, right? Right. So

1:08:21

instead of lies, there's other ways. What's it? Give

1:08:23

me another one Is

1:08:25

that a wig or no? You're

1:08:28

you're balding. Oh, yeah, let me see

1:08:30

your hairline. Yeah, that's 666

1:08:33

on the zoo But it's all yeah that right

1:08:35

on the crown. Yeah, I

1:08:38

don't believe in any of that stuff But I don't want

1:08:40

to be near you don't believe that Damien. Do you believe

1:08:42

in Damien? Who's that? He's the

1:08:44

devil's son No, I

1:08:46

don't know. I don't believe in that person. Okay. Yeah,

1:08:48

it's not a person. It's a fucking he's saying

1:08:50

He doesn't believe in you don't believe in demons or

1:08:53

angels or any of that. Uh, no So

1:08:55

when you see Constantine you're like, I don't

1:08:57

know who comes into the movie anyway Wait,

1:09:01

what you've you don't believe do you do you

1:09:03

adamantly not believing in in devils?

1:09:05

Oh, no No, I just like don't

1:09:07

like ever see ghosts or think

1:09:10

about it But you believe but do you believe they

1:09:12

exist like like I'm living with a demon right now,

1:09:14

baby I Guess

1:09:18

I would believe you if you're really Like

1:09:20

that's a bad example Well,

1:09:23

if he doesn't believe it like it this you've never had that

1:09:25

kind of image in the middle of the night No,

1:09:28

I have had sleep paralysis Where

1:09:30

like I feel like I'm have like a

1:09:32

shadowy thing holding me down. Whoa Slenderman,

1:09:36

no, just a shadowy thing. Are you sure it

1:09:38

could be slender man could be Who

1:09:41

knows who could it be? McCone get him come over

1:09:43

here and get it get this get him a water

1:09:45

Oh Your

1:09:54

legs are just putrid I'm sorry,

1:09:57

you're a great guy from the

1:09:59

waist up Your

1:10:01

legs kind of look like your thighs because they're

1:10:03

so hairless. They kind of look like. It's

1:10:06

Rosie O'Donnell's leg. It's like my aunt's legs, like one of

1:10:08

my aunt's. Doesn't it look like one of your aunt's legs?

1:10:10

Yeah. That's like my aunt's leg. You

1:10:13

know what would be work? You have snow hair on your

1:10:15

legs. You should tattoo. Look at how he stands. I

1:10:18

know, look at how he stands. You saw that

1:10:20

in TikTok. All right, get out of Dax's shot. Just stand like

1:10:22

that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get

1:10:25

out of here, get out of here. You're freaking me out, man. Yeah.

1:10:30

You're a weird guy. You're a weird guy. You

1:10:32

love him though. I don't know. Yeah, you do. I

1:10:34

do. He's like your son. He is, but if he can be

1:10:37

replaced, Panini seems chill. She seems like she could be around. Yeah,

1:10:39

yeah. Right? Panine, do you wanna

1:10:41

come back? Yeah, I'd love to. All right. Panine.

1:10:44

All right, I guess we'll bring her back. Do you think

1:10:46

Panini should stick around on the show? Yeah. Do

1:10:49

you wanna come back on the show? I would come back

1:10:51

whenever y'all would like. So our fans.

1:10:53

Love you. Love you. Oh, cool. I mean, I

1:10:55

love you. We had really good numbers with you.

1:10:57

Cool. What? I

1:11:01

think we have a good camaraderie.

1:11:03

Repor. And rapport. Y'all are fun

1:11:05

to talk to. Yeah. Do you think there's a

1:11:07

bond? Yeah. Yeah. Will you

1:11:09

do me a favor the next time you come? Yeah. Have

1:11:11

you ever shaved your face? Yes. I

1:11:14

usually just shave it like once a month. I wanna

1:11:16

see you shaved. Okay. I'm so interested to

1:11:18

see what your face looks like shaved. I've only seen you

1:11:20

with a beard. Can you wear something else? Yeah. What

1:11:22

do you want him to wear? He just wears the same old, like maybe

1:11:24

jazz it up a little bit. No, he looks great. Like a full

1:11:27

button up. Yeah, full button up

1:11:29

maybe. It would be funny to get- A tie? For us

1:11:31

to outfit you in like a- Fubu

1:11:35

or- Yeah, fubu. Yeah. I

1:11:37

was gonna say hip hop clothing. Yeah. Or

1:11:40

just like maybe some Ed Hardy, just try to bring

1:11:42

it back, you know? But back to 2002? Yeah,

1:11:45

yeah, yeah. Okay, we could do

1:11:47

something like that. European jeans, you know, with the

1:11:49

little embroidery. Like zippers on the side. Yeah, yeah,

1:11:51

yeah. What about that? It's

1:11:54

not my style, but I could give it a try. Yeah. If

1:11:56

you like once. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In

1:11:59

the camera to the girl in New York. in New York real fast in case

1:12:01

she watches this? Um, hi. Thank

1:12:06

you for being a bad friend. Woo.

1:12:11

Yeah. Woo.

1:12:17

Yeah. Woo.

1:12:22

Yeah. Woo.

1:12:26

Yeah. Woo.