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all states and situations. Hello

0:37

to everybody who doesn't need it. Explain

0:39

to them what a fart bomb is.

0:41

It's Beautiful Anonymous. One hour, one phone

0:44

call, no names, no

0:47

holds barred. I'd

0:49

rather go one on one.

0:52

I think it'll be more

0:54

fun. And I'll get to

0:56

know you and you'll get

0:58

to know me. Hi everybody, it's

1:00

Chris Gethard. I know not everybody loves

1:02

a long intro, so I just wanted

1:04

to let you know if you're looking to

1:06

go right to the phone call, I get

1:08

it. I'd appreciate if you might consider signing

1:10

up at beautifulanonymous.com, so I'll slip that plug

1:12

in. Otherwise, I'll tell you that

1:14

the intro this week is just about 10 minutes

1:16

long. So if you skip about nine and a

1:19

half, 10 minutes, you'll get right to the phone

1:21

call. Thanks so much and enjoy. Hi

1:26

everybody, Chris Gethard here welcoming you

1:28

to another episode of

1:30

Beautiful Anonymous. I

1:33

have to say thank you to everybody who listens,

1:35

who supports the show. We are solidly

1:37

into our independent era now. I

1:41

can say faithfully that the

1:44

show there's been so many exciting times with

1:46

the show. There's been so many

1:49

stretches where I feel like we go on hot

1:51

streaks. There's different eras I can think to of

1:53

where I've been at in my life. But I can tell

1:55

you this new independent era, one thing I think about so

1:58

consistently, the show has never felt more

2:01

fun to do and more personal

2:03

to me. And as

2:05

far as an evolution goes, I

2:08

feel great about that. And I thank you all

2:10

for being a part of the ride. Just

2:12

want to put out there, if you're someone

2:14

who wants to support the show and maybe

2:16

you're not looking to sign up for another

2:19

monthly fee, beautiful anonymous plus sounds cool, but

2:21

it's not for you. If

2:23

you are into it, by the way, beautiful anonymous.com

2:26

as of this recording, I keep you updated

2:28

every week, 630 people as I'm recording this.

2:30

That's nothing to sneeze at. A

2:32

far cry from the 2,500 that will get

2:34

me a major financial bonus, but whatever

2:37

it is. I do just want to say we're

2:39

in this independent era now. We don't have the

2:41

support of a network. We don't have anybody throwing

2:43

advertising dollars into it or giving

2:45

us free promos on other shows. So if

2:48

you want to throw us an iTunes review and you

2:50

haven't done so yet, perfect time to

2:52

do it over at Apple podcasts. If you want

2:54

to tweet about the show, tell

2:56

friends about it, throw it up on Facebook that you're

2:58

a listener, all of those things help way

3:01

more than you know. At the end of the

3:04

day, word of mouth is the best advertising and

3:06

we're living in a world where

3:08

those things can build online. So thanks

3:10

so much in advance.

3:13

I've been out here getting out on the

3:16

road doing stuff. It's

3:18

been very fun. I

3:20

did a show in Brooklyn at Littlefield

3:22

for my nonprofit job, Laughing Together, where

3:24

I'm building out a lot of mental

3:26

health services in schools that relate to

3:28

the arts and comedy in particular. Half

3:31

to thank everybody who showed up back on

3:33

February 3rd. We had that

3:35

room totally sold out. We raised

3:38

over $4,100. That's going to

3:40

go towards mental health services in

3:42

schools. And the venue was really

3:45

thrilled with how it went. They asked us to do

3:47

another one on March 1st. So

3:49

I'll be at Littlefield in

3:51

Brooklyn on March 1st. And the lineup for this

3:54

one is just as sick as the last one.

3:56

It's my friend, Kate Nichols, who

3:58

is both a great comedian for. New

4:00

Jersey and a licensed clinical social worker so you can

4:02

see why it's such a good fit for laughing together.

4:05

Kenise Mobley, who's one of Brooklyn's finest.

4:08

Joyelle Nicole Johnson, who I will tell you,

4:10

I've had to follow Joyelle twice in

4:12

recent memory on stage and it's not

4:14

easy. And I generally don't have fear

4:16

about following anybody. You could put me

4:18

up and I can keep the momentum

4:20

of the show going with Joyelle. It

4:23

is hard. And then of course, the

4:25

great Joe Pera, who I've been friends with

4:27

for years. He used to appear on the old Gethard

4:29

show, went on to have his

4:31

own show on Adult Swim and he's just

4:33

truly a unique treasure doing his own

4:36

thing. That's March 1st. I've

4:38

also got shows in Vancouver on

4:40

February 15th. So Canada,

4:42

I will see you there. If you're in

4:44

Western Canada, I'm doing the Biltmore Cabaret as part of

4:46

Just for Less Vancouver on February 15th. March

4:49

9th, Jersey, I'm doing a special show, Boot

4:51

and Coffee, real tiny show. It's almost sold

4:54

out already. I have these friends in the

4:56

sketch group called Business Casual. They just performed

4:58

at the first Laughing Together show and they're

5:00

so hilarious. They asked me to set

5:02

up a Jersey show for them. So I'll be opening

5:04

up that show. And then we're doing a live beautiful

5:07

anonymous taping as part of the Tree Fort Music Fest.

5:09

So Andrea and I will be out at the Egyptian

5:11

theater on March 23rd. That's out

5:13

in Boise, Idaho. So chrisgett.com

5:17

if you want tickets to any

5:20

of those. Anything

5:24

else to say in this intro? Anything

5:27

that's been on my mind. I

5:29

will say this and it dovetails

5:31

very nicely into the call. And

5:35

this is, I mean, it's going to

5:37

affect everyone everywhere, particularly our

5:40

American listeners and that is our

5:42

largest base, but we

5:45

have seen it. I mentioned in

5:48

the course of this call that 2016, the

5:50

show launched, It was

5:52

an election season. It started to show

5:54

up, sometimes explicitly on the show. Sometimes

5:56

sort of as this omnipresent background noise.

6:00

Same thing now. or twenty twenty four. The.

6:03

Selects gonna be stressful. It's.

6:08

Going to. Mess.

6:13

With. The

6:16

circuitry of how American brains

6:18

work. Really see

6:20

and our friends and neighbors again. The

6:23

things are going to get weird and it's

6:25

on all of us. To

6:27

take care of ourselves and the people

6:29

we love in those moments I've really

6:31

want to. You. Think about your

6:34

own well being. Think about your own mental

6:36

health. I am at a point where I

6:38

sit here and I go. How do I

6:40

both contribute? Whether

6:42

it's financially, As.

6:45

Someone with a decent sized platform?

6:47

Not a huge one, but nothing

6:49

to sneeze at. How do I

6:51

contribute? How do I be active

6:54

and even activist? I'm things that

6:56

feel most important to me while

6:58

also remembering. That

7:00

it is so easy. You.

7:03

Know there's always the spend this phrase

7:05

for decades. The Military Industrial complex. So

7:07

so the election Industrial complex. This whole

7:10

industries that want to jam news about

7:12

this and fear about this down our

7:14

throats. and I'm not saying to. You

7:18

know not look up when the sky's falling.

7:20

I'm not saying stick your head in the

7:22

sand. I am saying. The. End of

7:24

the day. Get as

7:27

much information as you need to feel informed.

7:30

And. Bold in your choices, and like

7:32

you're making choices that you're willing to

7:34

stand by. Gauge

7:36

how much you want to be someone who gets out

7:38

there and talk to other people. To.

7:41

Rally. But.

7:44

Honest with yourself about that. And

7:47

also understand that you cast a vote. You do

7:49

your part. And you also

7:51

need to protect yourself. We.

7:53

Saw last time people got driven

7:56

down. To

7:58

a non rabbit holes. That's coming again.

8:01

There were tons of articles about people who started

8:05

buying into conspiracies to the level where

8:07

their families were torn apart. This is

8:11

not okay. The fact that

8:13

there's so many people making money off of that

8:16

is not okay. There are people

8:19

manipulating algorithms to feed that

8:21

to people. Not okay. That's

8:24

one example, but it goes in

8:26

many different directions of extremism. Please

8:31

let's take care of ourselves. Why does

8:34

that come up with this one for probably

8:36

the most hilarious reason you

8:38

could ever imagine? Because you're

8:41

not going to see it coming. You're

8:43

not going to see it coming. This caller

8:45

will be an all-time favorite of our fanbase.

8:47

I can feel it in my bones. I

8:52

tell the caller. It's one of the most

8:54

delightful weirdos I've ever had the chance to

8:56

speak to for an hour. And

8:58

man, not just this show, but

9:00

my whole life has been about

9:02

connecting with delightful weirdos. I'd

9:04

like to think being a delightful weirdo on my best

9:06

days. Our

9:09

caller helps run a

9:12

kite store. How

9:15

does that tie into the election? You'll

9:17

find out. But

9:19

when I tell you that we speak about things

9:22

that are so juvenile and silly, some

9:25

of the most juvenile and silly things that

9:29

we've ever spoken about on this show, that's not

9:31

an exaggeration. And when you see that

9:33

we come to realize that our caller, because of

9:35

working in a kite store, is

9:38

also uniquely positioned to be a canary

9:41

in the coal mine of American

9:43

political trends and how things get

9:45

swayed and what

9:48

products people start to buy as

9:50

political movements, political

9:52

winds blow in different directions, that's not an

9:54

exaggeration either. If you

9:57

like the lowbrow, beautiful anonymous calls. You're

10:00

going to have parts where you love this one. If

10:03

you like the ones that get sort of political

10:06

and philosophical and thoughtful,

10:08

not overtly political but

10:12

where you start to see how real life and

10:14

politics intersect, which is one of the things

10:16

I love most about the show, when

10:18

that happens and you get to see real

10:20

glimpses of how people's real lives intersect with

10:24

political changes

10:26

and moments,

10:28

you're going to love this one. It's

10:31

silly but it's smart. If

10:36

this was a meal, it would be like a chocolate

10:38

covered pretzel, savory and sweet,

10:41

at the same time with a unique

10:43

human being that I feel so lucky

10:45

to have spent a chunk of time

10:48

talking to. You're now going

10:50

to hear the call. I hope you enjoy it as well. Don't

10:54

forget, if you want even more

10:56

with the caller, beautifulanonymous.com, you

10:58

can sign up over there. There's options

11:01

where you can sign up for five bucks a month,

11:03

ten bucks a month. If you buy at an annual

11:05

basis, you get a huge discount. I

11:07

made sure of that. There

11:09

is a tier where you can pay for

11:12

the people with disposable income. If

11:14

you pay 150 bucks minimum, you get everything

11:16

everybody else gets. Think about that. That's

11:18

only a little bit more than ten bucks a month if you pay for the

11:21

$150 a year. I

11:23

send you a personalized thank you letter. I've been

11:25

typing out these letters and it's been a joy

11:27

sending them all over

11:30

America. Plus they've

11:33

gone to Canada and England so far as

11:35

well. It's been so cool. It's just been

11:37

so cool. Thanks to everybody

11:39

who's been signing up at beautifulanonymous.com if you want more

11:42

with the callers. Thanks to everybody who's

11:44

been listening and supporting this new very fun

11:47

to do gratifying

11:50

version of the show. I

11:52

hope to see some of you out on the road when I'm

11:54

there. First of all, take care of yourselves and

11:56

enjoy One of the

11:58

most spectacularly unique. And delightful weirdos

12:01

in the history. Of this.

12:07

Thank. You for calling Beautiful Anonymous. A beeping

12:10

noise will indicate when you are on the

12:12

show with a host. Hi.

12:17

Hello Hello Okay,

12:21

Yeah, danny. Yeah, I can hear you. How

12:23

are you? Get

12:26

higher. Everything coming clear. Her

12:28

these coming great your great. Great

12:32

great Great Funny certain I'm in

12:35

the back room on much my

12:37

store. An eye on how today

12:39

because. It's

12:41

okay. I'm not. I'm. Not feeling

12:43

one hundred percent. but I'll I'll spare

12:45

you the gory details of that. Oh.

12:51

Bill. for the days on. What listener a

12:53

melissa just like him. A man. Well

12:55

as he really want them so.

12:59

Andrea does not cover it up but

13:01

anyway for you and was so I

13:03

have I have historically I've always had

13:05

a bad stomach my whole life. Ah

13:09

yeah and in my forties it's only get

13:11

worse. So had a call and ask a

13:13

p recently. And.

13:17

Everything came back relatively okay except I

13:19

was put on a medicine. To.

13:21

Clear the system, And

13:24

let me just say that that medicines

13:26

are working very well. We'll. Just say

13:28

that. Oh. Oh.

13:31

Oh I a clear salad my our

13:33

my father he i have some problems

13:35

with his he has to get my

13:37

get called out to be like not

13:39

every few years and I know what

13:41

he does. Recount my love of a

13:43

sitting here by myself for awhile. Ah

13:45

y u cel. Is about them

13:48

for a while and I yeah as

13:50

an arm I will do just or

13:52

I will tell you that don't go

13:54

to Starbucks and get the olive oil.

13:56

They have a new olive oil drink

13:58

fair. But. You But. and apparently

14:00

it clears out your stomach. Starbucks

14:04

is going to have an oil

14:06

being cold and cleansers? Yeah

14:10

it's like seriously like they put all oil

14:13

like a thing of all oil is called

14:15

like Olienta or something like that. And

14:18

you put it in the bowl and

14:21

that's it Olienta. You'll

14:27

be feeling it. So well

14:30

that sucks. Yeah here's an article.

14:33

Some customers are complaining the new olive

14:35

oil infused Starbucks drink is making them

14:38

run to the bathroom. What

14:46

are you doing?

14:48

Not for everyone.

14:51

I don't know maybe

14:53

it's like maybe it's just like we're gonna give

14:55

them this one so they have to purchase another

14:57

drink to make us feel better or

14:59

maybe purchase some more food. Yeah go get something starchy

15:03

to soak up all the olive oil

15:05

that's causing you to run to the

15:07

bathroom according to cnn.com. Yeah

15:11

it's a staple as what I've heard

15:13

too. Now it's gonna be like on

15:16

the menu like so I'll just one

15:18

time springtime it's on their menu.

15:21

Wow. Yummy.

15:25

Yeah yeah yeah. I didn't know all the

15:27

oil was something. No

15:31

I'm well no

15:34

no well other

15:37

than that which is unfortunate very

15:40

unfortunate. Everything else going okay? Everything's

15:43

good. Everything's pretty chill. I'm

15:45

feeling pretty good about life. Yeah I

15:47

will say just to follow if you

15:49

you know since we're

15:51

talking about olive oil infused Starbucks drinks

15:54

if you have not ever gone

15:57

and read the reviews of the sugar-free

15:59

gummy bears Ah, that Amazon

16:01

was sorry for a while. There.

16:03

Were. Sugar

16:05

free gummy bears that were causing

16:08

people that have real bathroom problems.

16:10

And the reviews. Are some

16:12

of the best things the internet's

16:15

ever produced. So the recommendation. of

16:17

oh I bet. Lot. Of

16:19

plowed his own that get that would be

16:21

my. A lot of people go on.

16:23

I bought a gallon jug are these gummy

16:25

bears for my for children in my house

16:27

only as to toilets screw you like a

16:29

lot of big. They're. Gonna

16:36

come in or three away. So he i guess

16:38

I guess is the Canada. Since.

16:41

Yeah know what? I have learned

16:43

he know you're getting it

16:45

still is a direct so

16:47

I'm. Way to

16:49

go him of I've been in these corporate

16:51

place they're just be and the back and

16:54

thera there and they're going to sell you

16:56

the toilet feel you're going up by for

16:58

me I'm fine you know toilet and yeah

17:00

I guess that nice do they are why

17:02

of our but they could accept rocket ship.

17:06

And yeah, make it work and sank

17:08

pages. Phases of these are they own

17:10

the cycle. Otherwise that. Theory:

17:13

Don't. Santa,

17:17

How are we got off to this plow.

17:21

We access the great great great way

17:24

to get into that good com culture.

17:26

fun talking on well I'm I've on

17:28

I'm either is going okay it's pretty

17:31

cold the where I am least I

17:33

think it's critical the where I about

17:35

I'm I'm from the good old felt

17:38

so ah but you could tell from

17:40

my accent. Whatsoever

17:42

I got here are my god.

17:44

I've gone through year on year

17:47

of our resolution on podcast a

17:49

few time on the first time

17:51

I got there it ah I'm

17:53

a was I wanted to visit.

17:57

my sizing up after three times i think about

17:59

it Um, um,

18:02

but one of the times I know I talked about my 18,000 piece

18:04

puzzle, which is, um,

18:06

sitting in many boxes right now. Um,

18:09

okay. Cause it's, um, but

18:11

if I try to finish it, it'd

18:14

be all over the floor. Um, I do. One

18:18

thing I like to talk to people about puzzles are

18:20

not for just old people. I don't know

18:23

if you and Cal or how you're into

18:25

that puzzle, but I'll find you suggest good

18:27

puzzles for fun times inside. Cause

18:30

they're pretty awesome. Um, so

18:35

I got no problem with

18:37

puzzles. I have no argument. You

18:40

know, good. Good, good, good.

18:42

Um, um, I

18:45

gotta see, I've done a 4,000 piece

18:47

puzzle, um, which

18:49

is pretty awesome. And,

18:52

uh, I'm, I'm, I'm only 33 and

18:54

I'm like an old person kind of thing.

18:57

That's what my hobbies include. Um, but

19:01

the other thing I mentioned last time

19:03

was, um, my family and

19:07

none of my family, I listened to my dad

19:09

was the podcast that he does. It was, uh,

19:11

fortunately, just now with New York, New York law

19:13

news podcast. Um, so

19:16

we'll give it away. Um, but, um, my

19:18

family owns a case store and I, Oh,

19:22

the page store. I just mentioned that I wanted to

19:25

the case store. That's it. Yes. The

19:28

case store. I remember the case store. I'm

19:32

saying, yep. Yeah. Yeah.

19:35

We've had a case store. This will be our 40th

19:37

year in business. And,

19:42

um, it's, um, it's

19:46

been in this area. It's

19:48

been a very much of a staple in this

19:50

area for so long. And it's

19:52

amazing how much, uh, I

19:55

Mean, I've only worked for the store for about 10 or

19:57

11 years now. As.

20:01

It's amazing how much you can bring

20:03

joy to have her said that with

20:05

and. I have

20:07

like I just I was dumb and

20:10

kinds of thorny. You is probably in

20:12

his early sixties. And

20:15

he bought a tragedy for. A

20:19

to went on site. At.

20:22

Yeah, that's like that's like the

20:24

thought too much. I've. I've

20:27

had. Quite so, flat

20:29

out our time. I saw right

20:31

now that Ryan. The

20:34

which, why would I repay the most? Re runs

20:36

about six. Hundred dollars. Six.

20:38

Hundred dollars. Have

20:42

no. Okay, Here's

20:45

my first question is. Are.

20:47

That are many dedicated side stores.

20:51

And if so, do your know each other. Arm

20:56

were a i'm. There

20:59

are of. The. Us I

21:01

would say there's a good. Bunch

21:04

of but so. On

21:06

and get fjellner. We. Know

21:08

we're good friends wrong? Lol Book

21:10

a rivalry funny spoil us. Because

21:15

we know where a small batch

21:17

of. There's a bunch

21:19

of us in the southeast

21:21

area ah, but a few

21:23

and like our Maryland and

21:25

Delaware and there's very few

21:27

a knob Cali arm and

21:30

in Florida. but to Cali

21:32

in Florida they're both dad.

21:35

Picked over because ah, Vog, met.

21:38

Bomb at their arm. There's.

21:42

There's one store that are people

21:44

Now that I'm. They have

21:46

a few franchises at all in

21:48

North Carolina, South Carolina. Ah. But.

21:51

There's there's a good bunch of us. And

21:55

we are all we all kind of club or

21:57

a l aud everything cause there's our our weather

21:59

still knowledge. Make. Our feet

22:01

products him so we have

22:03

the gonna be. You

22:06

consider best. On that

22:08

one. Are

22:10

there? But. Now I'm aware

22:12

of it says every once in awhile

22:14

and the show. People know

22:16

that I will be vaguely aware

22:18

of some sub culture. That.

22:21

Exists out there, and this is one that

22:23

I can't claim to have any first hand

22:25

knowledge of. But I had a friend. Who.

22:29

Years ago. Is actually.

22:32

My. Friend Zach who a lot of you

22:34

might know cause he played gave on the

22:36

office and he was on Silicon Valley. He

22:38

was in Central Park. And

22:40

met these people flying kites. And.

22:43

They were specifically part of this

22:45

sub culture of. Fighting

22:48

Kites. Were. Five

22:50

remember right The the string would almost

22:52

have like a glass embedded in it

22:54

and the idea was to try to

22:56

cut the other person he drank and

22:58

fight with your case. Is this something

23:00

that you help deal with with this

23:03

sub culture of kite fighters? We

23:07

don't try jail because I'm.

23:10

Because he could be dangerous.

23:12

but in big cities they

23:14

do that a lot. Bear

23:17

down there is that's a

23:19

very very very very popular

23:21

thing and I'm in ah

23:23

like any Afghanistan, Pakistan, elders,

23:25

other areas and I'm the

23:27

mid East Midlands met minister

23:29

arm countries say silted celebrate

23:31

our lot on and on.

23:33

It's ear. People

23:36

I am a Nato either case.

23:39

Also the time I'm on. not

23:41

that expensive either. A big glasses

23:43

and we like it's easily what

23:45

we have is that they ah

23:48

at the summit it's i'm running

23:50

a lot city that there's so

23:52

many kids around it like that.

23:54

Just yeah. Not

23:57

that like all that far as I'm a

23:59

grub. Last year I'll need to

24:01

be on. The front

24:03

page news about the kid getting

24:05

am. Sharp

24:08

shards of glass in their feet by

24:10

Am. so they they that's of Emmy

24:12

so they bothered by Parker. What's what's

24:15

up by Am a little do. That.

24:17

He sat upright thing or two. People gamble on

24:19

those sites. What is the nature of the Kite

24:22

citing. To.

24:25

The peace and it's more upright. And

24:27

because the person who wins the whole

24:29

thing, ah, get sick a. And

24:32

so they give the kids that. Like I said,

24:35

they make those kinds. They're not like what they're

24:37

not like. He owed

24:39

the I sell and my sore

24:41

arm paint. They make those kinds

24:43

dancer. it's simply uprising at you

24:45

think? I mean. I

24:48

mean, they're not, they're just doing fine.

24:50

I am. It's like Guy and but

24:53

it's it's It's also just a very

24:55

old tradition of Guy finding that the

24:57

to do. And

25:00

that's all he has. It's it's more than.

25:04

He could be more of a cultural

25:06

thing them and of a like, ah,

25:08

Mideast culture thing than more of a.

25:12

Because we have, they do make

25:14

small. Fighter faith that

25:16

tiny the ones that your

25:18

friend referred to weren't think

25:20

I'd say but despite a

25:23

kite are not gonna be

25:25

form. Block. Purposes because those

25:27

are well made. While

25:29

I like that, you know that I could not sir

25:31

you for a loop at all. On the you know

25:33

exactly what I'm talking about. Didn't

25:36

into some. Ah,

25:38

I guess a hereby. Almost everything

25:40

obey circles. So

25:43

then I gotta ask. What

25:46

goes into six hundred dollars? Say.

25:50

Yes, Course. So six hundred all

25:53

it takes on they are on.

25:55

It's. Totally. their of

25:57

for can be a for he indicates her for

25:59

string kite, I should say, or smistering

26:02

kite, which is pretty cool.

26:04

It's kind of like the big kites

26:06

that you see on the, cool,

26:10

flying on the water, like the

26:12

kite surfing kite, but a

26:14

little bit smaller. Have you ever seen

26:16

the kite surfing guys? Yeah, yeah, I've

26:19

seen kite surfers out there going and

26:21

launching themselves off the waves. Yep,

26:25

and so those kites are huge,

26:27

those huge, huge, huge. The ones

26:29

I have in my $600 one

26:31

are close to that size, but

26:34

not quite, but they come with

26:36

their kites. They're

26:39

gonna have nice line

26:41

sets. I know

26:43

this is probably a boring toggle. No, this

26:46

is what I live for. If someone who can

26:48

tell me intimately about all the

26:50

details of the kite subculture, this

26:53

is like why I signed up for this gift.

26:59

But they're just, I mean, and the way

27:02

the company that makes these kites are one

27:04

of the best in the country. And

27:08

it's just a really, it has

27:10

like also a mistake that you put

27:12

in the ground, because these are all

27:14

used on the land. It'll

27:17

be, like I said, they're huge. So

27:20

they'll give you a good old pool

27:22

too. And so if you want to be pulled pretty

27:24

far, you can do that. But

27:28

they're just, I mean, there's

27:30

that. I mean, I also have a kite

27:32

that's $600 too. That's just

27:35

what's called a Delta. It's

27:38

a triangle shaped kite, but it's just a

27:41

giant version of that too. They're at $600. So,

27:45

I mean, it kind of goes all over the place

27:48

too. Now,

27:50

who are the people that

27:52

you find are most

27:55

enthusiastic about kites? Is

27:57

it older people? Is it people where... it's

28:00

been a family tradition that's been passed

28:02

down. Who are the people keeping you

28:04

in business for decades? Yeah,

28:08

so they're gonna be in my, like

28:13

I said, I am in the South. They're gonna be

28:15

my old rich white guys, to be honest. And

28:18

I like, they're like, when

28:24

you see a woman in a kite store, there's a

28:26

few other women in kite stores that

28:29

I know that are like, business

28:32

people, like they're well with the

28:34

management. And,

28:38

but so it's a very, it's like,

28:40

it's a lot of guys who are

28:43

into it. But

28:45

I like, I have a gentleman who's one of

28:47

our favorite customers and he is,

28:52

maybe like his 70s, I

28:55

think. And he just

28:57

buys up all

28:59

my big kites. If

29:02

I find some really weird looking kite, he'll

29:04

buy it. Then

29:06

he'll, I have, like, I mean, I have a guy who's like in

29:08

his 50s or 40s, he

29:12

buys up some big ones. But

29:14

there's like a lot of other fun things that could

29:17

do the kite flying too. Like what

29:19

you should look up if you ever have time

29:22

to look up his different kite festivals. And

29:24

you'll see all the different people. Like I have a

29:26

woman who's like, she, her and her husband, they

29:29

buy kites all over the place and they just,

29:32

it's like a setup. It's like, I call

29:34

it artwork in the sky. It

29:38

could be all different people who like to do that,

29:40

but it's definitely not, I don't have too

29:42

many, like, I've, like,

29:44

if it's gonna be a young person, it's

29:46

probably a person who's definitely like, like

29:49

you said, with family, like maybe like,

29:51

I have a family whose dad

29:54

is really into it and his son got really into

29:56

it and his son's like 16. So,

30:00

It's um, people are

30:02

just kind of amazed. More or less

30:04

like, oh my gosh, this is K.A. Kite? I'm like,

30:07

yep, that's Kite. So

30:10

it's kind of cool to see all the different things that

30:12

come out with Kite. And

30:16

do you sell exclusively Kites? Is

30:19

this like a specific

30:21

Kite? No, no, no, no, no, no.

30:25

My dad and my

30:27

uncle owned the store

30:30

and they started the store in about 1982.

30:35

And they

30:38

realized that in this area that they

30:40

were not going to be able to

30:42

get sell Kites. And

30:47

so they had to get into a lot of other things. So

30:50

I'm all, like we

30:52

have all sorts of things. Like

30:54

it's, I was just saying like I

30:57

have, the phrase

30:59

of, this looks like a big Spencer has

31:01

not, has been othered in my store many

31:03

times. And I kind of roll my eyes.

31:05

I'm like, now you say Spencer's, I think

31:07

like a thing you can put in your

31:10

back windshield that pulls down its pants if

31:12

you want to tell another driver off or

31:14

fart stroke. Like these are the types of

31:16

things I think about Spencer. You,

31:19

okay, okay, okay. You

31:22

hit the nail. Get the, so

31:24

this is, remember I said

31:26

brother, I said two brothers owned it. So

31:29

you got it. You

31:31

got it. You hit the nail on it. Two

31:34

brothers owned it.

31:36

And so that's why I kind of have to deal with most

31:39

states is that two brothers who are not,

31:43

who are still boys, even

31:46

though they're in their sixties. I

31:49

have, I have in behind

31:52

my counter, we keep it behind our counters for a

31:54

reason is I have multiple

31:56

versions of fart stuff. I

31:59

have far more. bombs. I have

32:02

stick bombs. I have the

32:04

glass ones and

32:08

I have the final

32:10

part spray but the one that everyone

32:12

wants is liquid S. What

32:21

is liquid S? Oh

32:31

my gosh, Chris. Let's

32:33

start out with this.

32:36

When we get into an inventory and it

32:38

comes to the store, the

32:41

bag reeks. They're all

32:43

sealed. The bag reeks. I'm

32:45

like, oh gosh, we got this. And

32:49

so, I've never

32:51

smelled it but I make my customers

32:53

smell it. If they want to try

32:55

it, I'm like, you really want to

32:58

try it? People just have to put

33:00

up their nose under their nose. I've

33:05

seen multiple people just stench

33:08

away from it. No, no, no. If they haven't sprayed it,

33:11

they just revile

33:14

it. It's awful. One of

33:17

our employees and my dad say, the

33:22

fartspray is like... I

33:24

think it's very weird I'm talking about this

33:26

but fartspray is like

33:28

a sulfur kind of smell to it.

33:32

Liquid S will stay there for a while

33:35

and you really

33:37

want to kind of go wretch

33:39

somewhere very fast. It's

33:49

a really good... So, since we... So, I

33:51

mean, I mean, it's my... Again,

33:54

now I don't know anyone. None of my friends

33:56

are called. Unfortunately, it's not

33:58

listed here. out on Good

34:00

Life. They

34:05

live in the kind of resort town, to

34:07

say the least. And so when people

34:09

want to prank someone, I tell, you know, the

34:12

good pranks are, you know, you spray it when

34:14

you're in an elevator, push all the buttons and

34:16

you leave kind of thing.

34:20

And then the other one you could play like a

34:22

jacuzzi and you leave.

34:24

I know multiple people who have,

34:27

when they've told me, they, you

34:29

know, spray it in someone's hat

34:32

of some sort and

34:34

put it there. But we do keep it

34:36

by the counter. I will not tell us

34:39

any gentlemen who are buying it and they're

34:41

still there in the store. I will say

34:43

when you're leaving, you can get this stuff.

34:47

So yeah, that is actually a

34:49

very big thing. It's liquid.

34:52

People love it. Liquid

34:54

F. Liquid F. And

34:59

it's great. My

35:01

personal favorite thing is when people buy it, they're

35:03

like, ha ha ha, like a weird burger. Like

35:05

when a mom buys it or something like that.

35:08

It's funny because they're just gonna prank

35:10

their son or their kids. It's great.

35:12

When you have kids come in to buy

35:14

it, are you like, oh, these kids are

35:16

going to get suspended from school? And I'm

35:18

vaguely aware of that. Um,

35:22

I wish

35:24

I could say yes,

35:27

but it's like, I

35:29

mean, I can't tell no. Like, I

35:31

mean, especially if they're parents are right

35:33

there. I'm like, the parents are

35:35

usually pretty controlized. I just

35:37

hope they're not going to do anything too

35:39

stupid. Like, I mean,

35:43

I have very mennecky stupid people coming

35:45

to my store. It is not

35:47

your job to regulate what

35:49

people do with liquid ass. Okay.

35:52

You pray that they use liquid

35:54

ass responsibly. You hope

35:56

that someone reads all the warning labels and

35:58

thinks about it. the

36:01

implications of unleashing liquid You

36:06

can't hold their hands to the liquid ass

36:08

process if they get their hands on liquid

36:10

asked and they work out

36:12

those doors, they've got to

36:14

deal with the real world consequences. And

36:17

I think

36:19

you can hold your head up high, knowing that

36:21

it's not on you where the

36:23

liquid ass gets used. Let's

36:26

pause right there. It is true. You know,

36:29

when you sell a product like liquid ass, when

36:32

it walks out that door, it's no longer

36:34

your responsibility. I firmly believe not

36:36

all products and services can make that

36:38

thing. But in that, in that particular

36:41

case you have to

36:43

at some point stop thinking about where the

36:45

liquid ass goes. Speaking

36:47

of products and services, we do have ads on

36:49

this show. We'll be right back. You

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40:05

can't hold their hands through the liquid ass

40:07

process if they get their hands on liquid

40:10

ass and they walk out those doors. They've

40:13

got to deal with the real world consequences and

40:16

I think you

40:18

can hold your head up high knowing that

40:20

it's not on you where the

40:22

liquid ass gets used. I

40:24

agree. I agree. They're going to

40:26

use it and they're going to have fun and you know

40:28

what? Sucks a fuck if they get suspended because that's not

40:31

my fault. They're

40:33

missing out on learning opportunities. I

40:35

would have if your store was

40:38

around in my childhood, myself and all my

40:40

friends would have been

40:42

regular patrons. I

40:45

remember there were a few stores. There was like

40:47

a pet store where we could buy like

40:50

those things that you'd throw on the ground and

40:52

they'd explode. We used to call them bang snaps

40:54

and you could sometimes, sometimes

40:56

this guy, he would, this pet

40:58

store guy was very shady and he would sometimes

41:01

have stink bombs that were the ones in like

41:03

the small glass bottles

41:05

and you could smash those

41:07

and anytime he had them, we

41:09

would stock up so we could

41:12

unleash some mayhem. I

41:15

understand when you say a fart bomb, I know what

41:17

you're talking about. I'm not proud

41:19

to say it's if it's

41:22

the same thing I know from not even

41:24

my childhood but my adulthood. It's

41:26

like a foil bag and you pop what's in

41:28

the middle and then it starts to expand and

41:30

inflate and then it eventually explodes emitting

41:33

a fart spray. I'll tell you for any listeners out

41:35

there that are like, Chris, that's juvenile, you're a grown

41:37

up, I will tell you there

41:39

was a deli in New York that sold them

41:41

in the neighborhood I lived in in

41:44

Brooklyn where I lived with Hallie before we

41:46

got married when we were engaged and

41:49

it wasn't me. It was her that

41:51

used to like to buy fart bombs and set them

41:53

off on the streets of Brooklyn. I

41:56

know the type of stuff we're talking about here.

41:58

When you're talking about. stinky fart

42:00

gags and small grade explosives. I

42:02

grew up and this I would

42:04

have been obsessed with this store.

42:09

Oh yes, yes, yes. I have all

42:11

sorts of you the cans

42:13

is different candies that

42:15

taste bad. Your warheads,

42:18

your crydings. I have... Oh

42:21

no, no. These are like these are the candies that like are

42:24

salty tasting or fishy tasting.

42:27

Oh and then people buy

42:29

them and challenge each other to even try to

42:31

consume them without vomiting. Yeah,

42:35

yeah, yeah, yeah. Or they say here here's some

42:38

really great tasty stuff. Try

42:40

it. It

42:42

tastes like a fishy taste. I'm

42:45

gonna say something because we're about halfway through this call.

42:49

Can I say something and I mean this as a compliment

42:51

but I want to put it out here and get your

42:53

reaction and I want you to know this

42:55

is said with joy and this is said

42:57

with love. We have

42:59

had many lovable weirdos call this show in

43:02

the history of our 400 plus

43:05

episodes. You are one

43:07

of the most lovable weirdos to ever call the

43:09

show by far and

43:12

I say that with affection. I love

43:14

it. I love it. Oh

43:16

no, that is totally me right now.

43:18

If you met me in person,

43:22

I'm definitely a weirdo. I will definitely

43:24

wear that with a badge of honor.

43:26

Because you have the vibe. Like

43:29

if I met you out. Yeah. And

43:33

someone said can you guess

43:35

what this person does? I

43:38

might say, ostensibly sells kites

43:40

but on the side makes a lot of

43:42

money selling a product called Liquid Ass. I

43:45

might even... I might guess it after talking to you

43:47

for 20 minutes. It's a good fit. Oh

43:52

it's great. It's great. It's great. I

43:56

love that. I'm

43:58

sorry. I

44:00

personally love that. That's great. And

44:04

that's, yeah, I just have to,

44:06

when people ask me all the time, they're like, where

44:09

can you guys get this stuff? I'm like, have

44:11

you met these two brothers? Like, they're,

44:13

these are like, these go,

44:16

these go, this is going back to like two guys

44:18

who have, who

44:20

have, they are

44:22

still very,

44:24

very, at least my dad,

44:26

at least, because I hear it all the time, very

44:29

like loving Howard Stern. I have to

44:31

listen to that all the time. Every

44:33

time we go on road trips with him,

44:36

I have to say Howard Stern, who

44:39

had a billboard,

44:41

either in the 90s or the late 80s,

44:44

in the middle of this town that said, once

44:46

you get it up, can you hand, can you

44:48

control it? Uh-huh.

44:52

But no. So,

44:55

yeah, my dad, my dad likes to say to

44:58

customers, potential customers, when

45:01

like a guy comes in, he asks, you

45:03

know, so I have fallen kind

45:05

of, I'm having a hard time trying

45:08

to, trying to get a good tight

45:10

in my dad's, that goes to the straight face,

45:12

goes like, they have a problem getting it up.

45:15

Kind of why I said it. So,

45:18

I'm very concerned. And this is how

45:20

you grew up. This is, this

45:22

is your, this is your whole life. It's

45:26

your child. This is Kite's story. Yeah, of course I,

45:28

yeah, because, yeah, because

45:31

I, I grew up with my dad.

45:34

My parents got divorced when I was very

45:37

young and weirdly

45:39

enough, I was

45:41

granted to my dad. So, I'm

45:43

very close to my mom, but

45:46

I, yeah, I was given custody to my dad.

45:48

So, yeah, that's how

45:51

I am. Yeah. Wow.

45:56

I love it. What other, what other

45:58

kinds of things are we selling? the

46:00

big money makers, liquid asks, expensive

46:05

kites, what else pays them? Yeah,

46:08

well, what else pays them is, we

46:12

sell a lot of flags, like I have a huge, like

46:17

in the south, I don't know if it's really even

46:19

popular, but we have a

46:21

lot of people put flags on the

46:23

side of their, in their grass, in

46:25

their garden, I

46:29

sell heck out of those,

46:32

and on their houses, like

46:34

I sell all the American flags, and state flags,

46:36

and blah, blah, blah flags. Then

46:41

I have spinners,

46:43

people love to put spinners in their yards. That's

46:48

a popular thing in the south again,

46:50

usually, or wherever. But

46:54

unfortunately, right now, this

46:56

is where it comes to the bad news part that I have to

46:58

sell. My

47:01

dad is a businessman. This

47:04

is man business, and he's now for the

47:06

best part, and he

47:08

knows what the south likes. And

47:12

south likes very much is

47:14

a man who I

47:18

don't think you're a big fan of. I know I'm not

47:20

a big fan of. But

47:23

it's Donald Trump. Well, you

47:25

know, when I had a feeling when you said, when

47:28

you said I sell a lot of flags,

47:30

you know, American flags, state flags, blobbity, blah

47:33

flags, how the feeling I could

47:35

guess maybe what kind of flags those are that

47:37

are flying up the shelf in

47:39

the south that really in the south

47:41

that would refer to, I would imagine

47:44

blobbity, blah flags is Trump flags and

47:46

Confederate flags are, are

47:49

blobbity, blah flags. Yes, unfortunately.

47:52

Yeah, my have. And you know what, they're going

47:55

to tell me they're damn proud of getting every single

47:57

there, and they love to talk to me about it.

48:00

So people come into your kite store. I'm going

48:02

on my mind. I have to say One

48:05

thing that's amazing about your store Is

48:09

that it does seem like so much of it

48:11

is just wind focused products whether that's kites flags

48:16

Spinners as you mentioned and

48:19

then also even farts are known as

48:21

passing wind So it's just sort of

48:23

everything that's related to wind Very

48:25

true Very

48:28

true Now you have people

48:30

come in and buy buy up the Trump

48:32

flags and you say they want to Really

48:35

talk to you about it. You've

48:37

also said this is not someone you're

48:39

a fan Yes So do you just have to keep a

48:41

straight face and not let them know your politics or will

48:43

you just be Fighting with people who

48:46

are coming in to buy Trump flags? I? Can't

48:52

Fortunately, I can't I my

48:55

dad likes it cuz he's not a fan of the man either

48:57

and We

49:00

have to keep our mouth shut We

49:04

can kind of like You

49:06

know be like I'm just

49:08

I'm making money from you You're

49:11

just giving me my salary. Thank you. Come

49:13

again Wow And

49:16

that's all I can you know, yeah,

49:18

so you're allowed to say some things that are along

49:21

Let's shut down the political Sabre

49:24

rattling in the store and move on but

49:27

not get into it much beyond that. I Do

49:32

my dad loves my dad's a talker and

49:35

he loves to just kind of like Just

49:37

talk these people up and he's I mean, he

49:40

knows they're all crazy or

49:42

at least that's what we think and and

49:47

He just kind of laughs he laughs as he likes me

49:49

laughs it all the way to the bank And

49:51

cuz he could he's a very smart man wake up

49:53

the politics and And

49:59

he could just to talk the talk

50:01

and just pretend very, very well.

50:05

Meanwhile, he voted in the Democratic

50:07

primary last week. That's

50:15

what a fascinating place to be

50:18

as a people who run a kite store,

50:20

which also probably qualifies as like a novelty

50:22

store. Do you,

50:24

how hard, how hardcore,

50:26

so your politics don't

50:29

match up with these people, but at the end of the

50:31

day, it is a business and it's, it's,

50:34

I have to imagine a big part of the business the past

50:36

few years. Do you have any

50:38

lines like, will

50:41

you sell pro-Trump stuff or do you

50:43

have the let's go branded flags? Will

50:45

you have the actual fuck Biden flags?

50:47

Like are there lines or

50:49

is it just we make money? We separate

50:51

ourselves from, from that.

50:56

I wish there were a lot. I thought we

50:58

had lines like a few years ago. The ones,

51:01

the lines that will, the only

51:03

lines that we try to get away

51:06

from the fuck Biden stuff, because

51:08

we've had many, more or

51:11

less grandparent age people

51:13

coming in and like kind of moderate

51:15

people coming in and they say like,

51:17

I couldn't bring my grandchild to the

51:19

store. I'm coming in

51:21

here to buy a kite and some fart spray.

51:23

I am trying, and it's legitimate people going, hey,

51:26

I'm here to bring my grandkids in. We want

51:28

to get some flats, some kites and some fart

51:30

spray. And I don't need

51:32

the vulgar political flags. So those

51:34

complaints were registered. Wow.

51:37

Yeah, yeah. Those kind of

51:40

things will be a register. Yeah.

51:43

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Chris,

51:45

this is not here on a regular basis. This is

51:47

like, what? Like

51:51

what? Like, okay. This time

51:53

of the year. So somewhere

51:56

in the facility of my area, Trump

51:59

is coming. So,

52:04

people are trying to stock up. And

52:07

he's coming to a college

52:09

town area. And he

52:12

said we had some of these girls the other night. And

52:15

it's, I mean, it's like, you just see the online of like

52:17

what people say. They,

52:20

when my other employees,

52:22

she said, she heard them say that

52:24

I don't know why we're buying this shit. You know,

52:26

we're not going to wear it again. Like, what?

52:31

Like you're spending $50 on this stuff and you're not going to ever

52:33

wear it again. Like, why? Like,

52:36

are you, like,

52:39

it kind of just like boils my mind, like,

52:41

what people say to us. And

52:45

we'll kind of

52:47

just argue about us

52:49

in about

52:52

certain things. And they just, I

52:54

mean, they'll tell me the deep

52:59

conspiracy stuff and how

53:01

everything is this and that. I'm like,

53:05

well, that's a different one. And then on top of it, on

53:08

top of it, on top of it, it's that

53:10

since I don't know

53:12

if you knew, but Taylor Swift is such an

53:14

awful person, according to these people. So I have

53:16

to hear about that because I have Taylor Swift

53:18

Blacks. This

53:23

is one of my favorite calls in

53:26

the history of this show. So you have a kite

53:29

store that also sells a lot

53:31

of novelty flags. And then when

53:33

election seasons get tense, the novelty

53:35

flags become a thing

53:38

that you have to hear complaints and people

53:41

stresses about. Oh, it's

53:45

a yes. Yes, I have to hear. So

53:49

it's not just flags. I'll go through

53:51

the gamut really fast. Flags. I

53:55

have two. I have eight. I

53:58

wish I could do like a video. of this. I

54:01

was Zoltar. You

54:04

know Zoltar, right? Zoltar from the movie

54:06

Big? Yeah,

54:10

like that. But what is he? What is

54:12

my Zoltar in my store? He's

54:14

Trump. Okay,

54:16

so you have a... If I

54:18

can only kid you... So

54:21

you have a thing where people put in

54:23

money and then Donald, a robotic Donald Trump,

54:25

tells them their future? Fuck

54:30

yes I do. I'm like, oh my gosh.

54:37

I had to hear it all the time because every time you pass by it, it

54:40

says something else stupid. Now I'm like, oh

54:42

gosh, keep walking. So

54:44

I have that. I have stickers,

54:47

way too many stickers I can count. I

54:49

have magnets. I

54:52

have hats. I

54:55

have someone breaking something right now in

54:57

my store. I have

54:59

t-shirts. I have so many t-shirts you thought I

55:01

was a joke. License

55:05

plates. Pins.

55:08

Wait, I can't be...

55:10

It's key chains. I have mugs.

55:15

And these are all Trump themed? Bobbleheads.

55:21

You wouldn't believe it. It blows my

55:23

mind how much we're making fun of someone. And people still

55:25

want it. They laugh at this stuff all the time.

55:28

See, and you're... They

55:30

laugh at my... What? When

55:32

you're listing all these

55:34

items, bobbleheads, flags, pins,

55:37

these are your pro-Trump,

55:39

anti-Biden novelty sales. These

55:42

are those specific items that you're listing. You

55:44

got it. You got it.

55:47

Oh man. I have to say, beautiful...

55:51

I know, it's scary. No, well,

55:54

here's the thing now. It's very

55:56

scary, but I also just have to point

55:58

something out for all of us. our listeners

56:00

because Beautiful Anonymous

56:02

is this really interesting thing in

56:05

that you got the short term and the

56:07

long term. And this will

56:09

now be because of the timing

56:11

of the show. We launched in 2016. So

56:13

there was a lot of talk of 2016 election and

56:15

then that dies down. And then

56:17

the 2020 election, you start to hear it come up. In

56:20

some calls that's explicit and in others

56:22

like this, it's incidental. You

56:25

know, during the pandemic, every call, at least

56:27

in some cursory fashion, started to mention how

56:30

people were dealing with the

56:32

pandemic and in some explicitly dealt with it. It's

56:35

a reflection of the times. And

56:37

I do believe that

56:39

as far as the 2024 election season

56:41

goes, this is

56:43

probably the call where we have most gotten

56:46

into it thus far. Now it's February of

56:48

2024. The

56:53

primaries are still unfolding. There's other

56:55

things happening in the news that

56:58

are still occasionally grabbing focus from

57:00

this. I have to say to

57:07

know that the first time that we've, the

57:09

person who's called in and said, hey, the

57:12

storm clouds of the 2024 election are

57:14

calling in. It makes

57:16

total sense that someone in a Southern

57:18

state who sells novelty items is going

57:20

to be one of the first people

57:23

who feels their life truly affected by this.

57:26

It's strange and hilarious and I didn't

57:28

expect it, but the idea of you

57:30

going after November and

57:33

you can say this sentence with a straight face because this

57:35

is your life. After November,

57:37

I hope I can just get back to selling

57:39

kites and liquid ass. It's like a real reality

57:41

in your life. But from

57:43

now until November, yes,

57:46

anti Biden pro Trump,

57:49

kitsch items. Including

57:51

a fortune telling Trump's

57:53

Altar machine will be

57:55

a major factor in your life. And you are

57:58

one of the early canaries in the calm. mind

58:01

to call up and tell us about how things are

58:03

going. And I find that to be amazing

58:06

and hilarious, and also in some

58:08

ways so dark, so

58:11

dark. Have

58:13

to pause. I really mean it. It's

58:16

going to be a long year for all of our

58:18

American listeners. We all know this. The

58:20

election's coming. It's going to be crazy. It's going to affect

58:22

our mental health. It's going to affect our stamina at times. The

58:30

fact that this show's first real crossing of

58:32

that Rubicon is from someone

58:35

who sells a product called Liquid Ass and

58:37

also a lot of Trump flags is just

58:39

a perfect entryway into the gauntlet of

58:42

2024. Chef's

58:44

kiss to that

58:46

one. Hey, I've broken the momentum. Let's get some

58:48

ads out of the way. We'll be right back.

58:52

This episode of Beautiful Anonymous is brought to

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you by IQ Bar. IQ

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you to all of our advertisers. Now let's finish

1:02:08

off the phone call. And

1:02:15

you can say this sentence with a straight face because this

1:02:17

is your life. After November, I

1:02:19

hope I can just get back to selling

1:02:21

kites and liquid ass is like a real

1:02:23

reality in your life. But from now until

1:02:26

November, yes, anti

1:02:29

Biden pro Trump, kitsch

1:02:31

items, including a

1:02:33

fortune telling Trump's altar

1:02:36

machine will be a major

1:02:38

factor in your life. And you are one of

1:02:40

the early canaries in the coal mine to call

1:02:43

up and tell us about about how things are going.

1:02:45

And I find that to be amazing

1:02:48

and hilarious and also in some

1:02:50

ways, so dark, so

1:02:53

dark. And I'm sure

1:02:55

you do. Yeah. Yeah.

1:02:57

Oh, yeah.

1:03:01

Yeah, very. It's,

1:03:03

it's, it's, it's

1:03:06

amazing. I've had this past week, I have

1:03:08

a lady, a lady come in, she's, I

1:03:10

think my nickname for her is the crazy

1:03:13

human. I have a guy who comes in

1:03:15

a regular basis. He's a jerk. He's a

1:03:17

like, these are all the people who have

1:03:20

to deal with all the regular basis. They

1:03:22

do. And you know what they'll do a

1:03:24

thing about my political. If they told, if

1:03:27

I told you, let's say I rode

1:03:29

around the town multiple

1:03:32

times for a while with

1:03:34

on my side of my

1:03:36

car, Elizabeth Warren, decal, I

1:03:39

got birds. I got, I got

1:03:41

flipped the bird many times. I got

1:03:43

honks. I got, you

1:03:45

know, people, you know, being me. And then I

1:03:48

had during the 2020

1:03:50

election, I had Biden stickers

1:03:54

on my car and I

1:03:56

had people peel them off. I

1:03:59

get same thing. birds, blah,

1:04:01

blah, blah. And so

1:04:03

if they knew any of this, they would be like,

1:04:05

nope. And my

1:04:09

dad's got some hate because he's

1:04:11

my dad's Jewish. And so he's

1:04:14

got some hateful things left at

1:04:16

his house. But going back to

1:04:18

my guy who is, he's

1:04:20

just a very much

1:04:22

so kind of guy and he will come

1:04:26

up to the store and he's got

1:04:28

big old pickup,

1:04:31

pick up cowock. He's got let's go brand

1:04:33

new on the side of it. And he's

1:04:35

got three or so I should say like

1:04:38

four, five, five, she's ripping across from behind

1:04:40

his car. I'm like, Oh

1:04:42

my gosh. And so yeah, it's,

1:04:45

it's, and I have this guy, I mean, I have

1:04:47

all sorts of characters, all sorts of

1:04:49

characters. I can't imagine. And

1:04:52

they're characters. That's the thing. Like they're not

1:04:54

like real people to me, they're characters in

1:04:56

my, like that should be, I

1:04:58

think, I think

1:05:00

that says something about the

1:05:05

community that really pulls

1:05:07

them up. Like his very, his, his

1:05:10

group that pulls them up as

1:05:12

I call them characters in my story. Like I, I,

1:05:14

I, I don't call them people like that's my verbiage

1:05:16

of it. And so is, yeah,

1:05:19

so that is, so don't

1:05:22

just think it's going to be a

1:05:24

passerby. You know, you never know. You never

1:05:26

know what's covered next. Being,

1:05:28

being a liberal, a liberal

1:05:32

Jewish woman living

1:05:35

in the American South, uniquely

1:05:38

positioned due to the nature of your

1:05:40

family store to

1:05:42

encounter street level, public political

1:05:45

chatter is

1:05:47

one of the most specific

1:05:51

calls we've ever gotten. And

1:05:55

I could not, I could not love it more. The

1:05:58

fact that we've had liquid ass. Oh,

1:06:00

thank you, Chris. The fact that you

1:06:02

have seen, do

1:06:10

you have QAnon specific merchandise

1:06:12

that people sell? Do you have like

1:06:16

QDrops are coming type stuff? And do people

1:06:18

come in and buy?

1:06:22

No, see, one thing that, another thing

1:06:24

that's slightly unique about it is I

1:06:26

guess people want a sticker for it.

1:06:28

I have a person,

1:06:30

a contractor who can make any sticker you

1:06:32

want so I can make a sticker for

1:06:34

you. But that's like another line that

1:06:37

my dad will tip

1:06:39

to because that's a little too far

1:06:42

for him when

1:06:44

he comes to stuff. That's

1:06:49

so, what

1:06:53

a strange tightrope you're

1:06:55

walking. And when you're

1:06:57

not selling

1:07:00

kites and novelty items

1:07:02

and dealing with the

1:07:07

strangely being on the front lines of

1:07:09

America's political winds and the way they

1:07:11

blow, which is not even meant as

1:07:13

a kite pun but does apply, what's

1:07:16

your life like outside of your relationship to this

1:07:18

store? Because we've got a few minutes left and

1:07:20

I do want to know that as well. Yeah,

1:07:26

so outside of the store, I work

1:07:28

a lot. Like I got here at nine-ish

1:07:32

today and I won't leave

1:07:34

until like seven-ish. But

1:07:39

I am a

1:07:41

person who, like

1:07:43

I said, those

1:07:46

puzzles I read a lot.

1:07:48

But I'm a

1:07:51

pretty, to be honest, I'm a pretty boring

1:07:53

person but I'm also a person who

1:07:56

has been unfortunately and

1:07:58

fortunately I'm really

1:08:01

affected with anorexia. And

1:08:03

so I have to usually balance that out with a lot

1:08:05

of different things because it's kind of

1:08:09

kept me locked in a little bit more,

1:08:11

which is, at least

1:08:13

I've done that to myself. It

1:08:15

allowed my eating disorder to do

1:08:17

that to myself. But so

1:08:20

I'm here like I said,

1:08:24

I'm pretty poor. Like

1:08:26

I said, old person has things. But

1:08:32

yeah, so I mean, right now

1:08:34

that's how I describe myself. Puzzle

1:08:37

book nerd. And

1:08:42

has worked like

1:08:45

air to a guy store. And

1:08:51

has to deal with eating disorder

1:08:53

on a regular basis for the past 10

1:08:55

plus years. Wow.

1:08:58

Wow. There's a

1:09:00

lot, a lot to

1:09:02

process there. I'm so sorry that

1:09:05

you deal with

1:09:07

eating related stuff because I know that that's such

1:09:11

a nasty cycle to break and not easy. And

1:09:13

my heart does go out to you on that.

1:09:15

Outside of any laughing I've done today about liquid

1:09:18

ass and you selling stickers to

1:09:20

QAnon people, I just want to pause

1:09:22

and say that's a serious thing. So I

1:09:26

know that it's also one of those things that

1:09:30

even when you are intellectually aware of

1:09:32

what's going on and all the negative

1:09:34

impacts, it doesn't

1:09:37

change the fact that emotionally it's not

1:09:39

an easy cycle to break, which is

1:09:41

part of what's so scary and so

1:09:43

frustrating about it. Yeah.

1:09:47

Yeah. Very true. Very true.

1:09:50

Yeah. And this stuff, I'm

1:09:53

like many other colors I've mentioned, like I'm

1:09:55

very proud of you of

1:09:58

doing all your mental health stuff. and letting

1:10:00

people out because I know in, unfortunately

1:10:04

in the south, it

1:10:07

is mental health and whatever, it's

1:10:09

just like it might as

1:10:11

well be ghost town down here,

1:10:13

which is, which sucks. It all,

1:10:16

see, it just sucks. I mean, we are living

1:10:19

in whatever, that

1:10:21

show us Mayberry. And

1:10:33

people don't want to understand it. And

1:10:38

that really, that's just like, it constantly blows

1:10:40

my mind. And, you

1:10:43

know, this is what I

1:10:45

said, unfortunately, but fortunately, I'm infected by knee disorder.

1:10:47

So, let's really open my eyes to see all

1:10:50

the different struggles of

1:10:53

this country, even though we're in

1:10:55

where we are, is how much it

1:10:57

sucks to be

1:10:59

in a very developed

1:11:02

country that we can't figure out the

1:11:04

mental health situation, especially with cost. That's

1:11:07

one why I like, people may

1:11:09

say that I want any you need to go

1:11:11

back to the hospital or whatever. And I'm like,

1:11:13

I can't play another pause on my life and

1:11:16

it sucks. And so I just,

1:11:18

I go therapy course. But

1:11:21

it's like, it's just

1:11:24

like, you know, that's why that's one

1:11:26

thing I lean towards more towards a

1:11:28

liberal because I believe that there's

1:11:30

more levels out there that are more fighting

1:11:33

for mental health. Mm

1:11:37

hmm. Mm hmm. I'm

1:11:39

happy to be a part of the fight. And I'm glad that

1:11:41

you're fighting the good fight. And I hope,

1:11:45

I hope it, I hope it's a fight that you win

1:11:47

because I know it's not easy. I

1:11:50

know it's not easy. Well, thank you,

1:11:52

Chris. You

1:11:54

are aware that you are one of the most unique

1:11:56

people I've ever spoken to, right? Like,

1:11:58

this is, this is not fair. shocking to you? It's

1:12:05

a little shocking because the amount of people that you've

1:12:07

spoken to, I mean I've been a big fan of

1:12:09

your show for many many years and

1:12:15

I do love

1:12:17

that though. I love being unique. I think

1:12:19

that kind of makes it fun. So

1:12:23

it makes me feel

1:12:25

inside. I do

1:12:27

appreciate that.

1:12:31

I've been unique. Do

1:12:33

you fly kites yourself? I

1:12:38

have a few kites. I don't usually

1:12:40

have time. Usually I'm in charge of like

1:12:42

setting up like if we do like kite

1:12:44

festivals and stuff like that. Usually I'm the

1:12:46

person in charge of setting up

1:12:49

all together like getting sponsors, making

1:12:51

sure everyone's going the right place. We

1:12:53

have all the equipment we need, all

1:12:55

the kites we need. I do have

1:12:57

a few kites. One of my kites

1:13:01

that I have got supply, like my

1:13:03

dad's policy, he's a business guy. So

1:13:06

one thing he is like, you know, don't keep a

1:13:08

kite if you know we can just sell it. So

1:13:11

he loves to make a buck. But one kite

1:13:13

that I know I won't sell. My favorite animal

1:13:16

is a lion. I have

1:13:19

a big lion kite. But

1:13:21

I know how to fly like some of the short kites

1:13:24

very well. And

1:13:26

you enjoy it. You do enjoy the actual physical

1:13:28

process of flying a kite. Oh

1:13:32

it's so much fun. It's like, I mean, it's

1:13:35

no matter what

1:13:38

kind of kite you get, it's like you can

1:13:40

put your headphones on or whatever or you could

1:13:42

just sit there if you're just doing a single

1:13:44

line kite. If you just sit there and watch

1:13:46

the kite just fly and just see all the

1:13:48

just like the detail that goes on. I mean

1:13:50

we have a kite that's like Simone Lisa. You

1:13:52

can want a kite up there that's Simone Lisa

1:13:55

and you're seeing artwork in the sky. Or you

1:13:57

can sit or you can do a trick to

1:14:00

And you

1:14:02

can put your headphones in or whatever

1:14:04

and just have fun with the motion.

1:14:08

And it's fun. It's

1:14:10

a very relaxing, very

1:14:12

relaxing option. And,

1:14:14

you know, I

1:14:17

think it's a good, it was a great thing

1:14:19

to really push during COVID

1:14:21

to be honest because people could still

1:14:24

go outside in their area and

1:14:26

fly tight. There's

1:14:28

actually a guy on America's Got

1:14:30

Talent a few years ago, a gentleman with

1:14:37

Aper's and he flew

1:14:39

an indoor kite. And that's how he got,

1:14:41

you know, just his calmness out. And that's

1:14:43

pretty cool. You know, it's very... It's

1:14:45

an indoor kite. By definition, there

1:14:48

is no wind indoors. You

1:14:50

got that. That's

1:14:52

why you have to move with the kite. So

1:14:56

there's indoors. You do it a lot. Yeah.

1:14:58

And what do you need, like a big gymnasium with a high ceiling?

1:15:04

That's exactly it. Never

1:15:07

knew. I

1:15:09

will tell you, last year for his birthday, one

1:15:13

of Cal's friends gave him a kite

1:15:16

that was a pretty large kite that was

1:15:18

shaped like a fighter jet. And

1:15:21

there's a park in our town with a big

1:15:24

field. Howie

1:15:26

took him out there one day. I was

1:15:29

out. I was out working or something. And

1:15:32

she texted me, hey, she was like, I'm looking for something

1:15:34

to do. So we're going to see if we can get

1:15:36

this kite going. And I've always been

1:15:38

a fan of a kite. I've always enjoyed a good

1:15:40

kite, although never really been,

1:15:43

I wouldn't say a kite enthusiast. But

1:15:46

I've always enjoyed a kite. And

1:15:48

I drove straight to the park and they were out

1:15:50

there and managed to get that kite up. And

1:15:53

I ran with it because there was not much wind. And

1:15:56

the look on my son's face, he

1:15:58

could not. He

1:16:01

couldn't believe that this was possible and it was

1:16:03

a thing that he owned and it was it

1:16:05

got on pretty high, you know, 40, 50 feet

1:16:07

up in the air on a

1:16:09

day that didn't have all that much wind and

1:16:12

Cal was running around underneath that thing.

1:16:17

Like the world had

1:16:19

cracked open like the world's possibilities

1:16:21

expanded in his mind and I'll

1:16:24

never forget that memory. So I do I will

1:16:26

say I do ascribe a little bit

1:16:29

of romanticism and I

1:16:31

do think there's something very powerful

1:16:33

about a kite, especially to a young

1:16:36

kid and I'm sure that never gets old.

1:16:41

No, no, it doesn't at all. They'll just

1:16:43

find just like a little kid

1:16:46

with any kind of like just like a little boy like with

1:16:48

any kind of like if you want to

1:16:50

subscribe to like the idea

1:16:52

of like a video game like you like to

1:16:54

play like maybe the small little like old boy

1:16:56

and I can't move with anything when you're a

1:16:58

kid and then you know who move up to

1:17:01

the expense and stuff and you know, and so

1:17:03

that's what my some of my boys are my

1:17:05

older boys are they're just like that and

1:17:09

they'll get to find the big expensive stuff when they

1:17:11

get older. It's

1:17:14

got to be pretty fun

1:17:16

when you see a kid get into it because you said

1:17:18

at the top of the call a lot of your a

1:17:20

lot of your client base for the kite specifically are sort

1:17:23

of like old older white guys

1:17:25

with disposable income. So

1:17:27

it's got to be fun to see the little kids get into it. Yes.

1:17:31

Oh yeah. Oh my gosh. It's

1:17:34

great. It's it's magical. It's

1:17:37

and you know, even if the parent

1:17:40

isn't necessarily having fun, it's the parents I

1:17:42

hope to see. I hope that they get

1:17:44

to see their look on their kids face

1:17:47

because like you said, like it's

1:17:50

you would never think that would happen

1:17:53

so easily the way a kite is made

1:17:55

that will fly like that and

1:17:57

just stay there with the wind. they

1:18:00

see and they're just you know hypnotized

1:18:03

and that is so awesome. Yeah.

1:18:08

Yeah it's pretty cool. It's

1:18:11

pretty cool. And do you ever see

1:18:13

kids come in and get real nerdy about like the history

1:18:15

of kites and they want to pick your brain about stuff

1:18:17

like that? Yeah

1:18:21

there are some, it's not even kids more

1:18:23

like, it's

1:18:26

more like growing up boys like you are like in

1:18:28

their 20s and just kind of like want to just

1:18:31

talk and talk and talk to me about it and

1:18:35

I'm like, and I'm if you

1:18:37

tell me I'm a small fatured woman and

1:18:39

I have a very quiet like I

1:18:41

mumble a lot and so

1:18:43

I usually

1:18:46

don't like, every time I try to talk they're like no no

1:18:48

and they'll have something else to say to me I'm like nervous.

1:18:51

And so yeah they do, yeah I get nerdy

1:18:53

with me. Actually one of our boys when he

1:18:55

first came in to buy a kite he

1:18:58

was pretty nerdy about it. He'll tell you

1:19:00

he's still pretty nerdy about it. And

1:19:02

there's big time kite nerds everywhere, right

1:19:05

there has to be. There's huge kite

1:19:07

nerds all over the country. Oh yeah.

1:19:11

Oh yes. Yes when we sell, when we

1:19:13

sell there's like I mean there's just like

1:19:15

there's a there was a generation of kite

1:19:17

people who were in the 80s and 90s

1:19:19

that got a kite from like

1:19:22

America when they were first still made

1:19:24

not in China. Which is like no

1:19:26

probably I don't really care that much.

1:19:28

I just you know they just different

1:19:30

kites and so they have a lot

1:19:32

of kites so when we try to

1:19:34

sell them like collectible quote quote collectible

1:19:36

kites. Like well that has like a

1:19:39

small smidge and or what that

1:19:41

was in sign anyways you have to hear all

1:19:43

about it's just like any other like collectible niche

1:19:46

item. They're like oh

1:19:48

my god it's just for kites. So yeah

1:19:50

I have to care about

1:19:52

a lot and usually unfortunately it usually

1:19:55

is donut so and

1:19:58

they just kind of really get into it. I

1:20:00

mean there must be some kite people that give

1:20:02

model trained people a run for their money. Yes,

1:20:07

yes, yes, I would say so. I

1:20:10

have another one of

1:20:12

my employees who's worked for us for

1:20:14

many years. He

1:20:17

has over 100 kites for sure. I

1:20:22

love this. So,

1:20:26

yeah, he fixes kites. They all fix

1:20:29

kites too. And so, my dad, he

1:20:31

cleaned my dad. They have

1:20:33

to know how to fix kites or they don't have to, but they learn

1:20:35

to fix kites. What

1:20:37

an incredibly, incredibly

1:20:39

specific life. Thank you

1:20:41

for filling us in. This one's an all-time great. We're

1:20:44

going to say goodbye to everybody on the free feed.

1:20:46

Thank you. To everybody who

1:20:49

has signed up for beautifulanonymous.com, thank

1:20:52

you so much for doing so. We're going to continue

1:20:54

the call in just a few minutes. Learn more about

1:20:56

our caller, including five questions

1:20:59

that go in very random directions. So, for everybody

1:21:01

who is thinking about signing up, why not do

1:21:04

so right now? Goodbye to the people on the

1:21:06

free feed. We have so much love for you.

1:21:14

Caller, thank you so much. So

1:21:17

sincerely for filling me in

1:21:19

on your unique and specific life and

1:21:22

all the funny parts and all the concerning parts

1:21:24

and everything

1:21:26

in between. That call was amazing

1:21:30

and I will not soon forget

1:21:32

my conversation with the lady from

1:21:34

the kite store. What

1:21:37

a beautiful gig. Thanks for allowing me to have

1:21:39

it, everybody. Thanks to

1:21:41

our producer, Andrea Quinn, who is, of

1:21:43

course, the high priestess of beautifulanonymous.

1:21:46

Our theme song is by Shell Shack.

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Look them up, support them. Do you

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want to know more about me, including when I'm going out on

1:21:58

the road? If you have a story

1:22:00

and you want to pitch it 973-306-4676. If

1:22:07

you feel like you are living

1:22:10

a particular tale, you come from a

1:22:12

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1:22:32

at beautiful anonymous pod. This

1:22:46

week on Beautiful Anonymous Plus, here's

1:22:49

some of what you'll get from the five

1:22:51

questions. With

1:22:53

what age do you associate

1:22:55

the word elderly? I

1:22:57

love this question. This is a deceptive one.

1:23:01

Oh, that is a good question. Elderly

1:23:03

just gives like, I'm gonna be

1:23:05

dead tomorrow to me. I

1:23:08

have, I mean, like I said, the guy who was in

1:23:10

his 70s. He's

1:23:13

just old to me. He's

1:23:15

not elderly. He's out there. He's

1:23:19

much taller, much bigger than me. He's taking

1:23:21

down the 19 foot kite. Elderly,

1:23:24

I think you put yourself into a little hole

1:23:26

and you're like, I can't do anything. I'm

1:23:29

elderly. Aging is one of those things that we

1:23:32

talk so much about. But

1:23:34

no matter what you say about it, your

1:23:36

relationship with it can only be defined

1:23:38

by experiencing it. And

1:23:40

whereas I know people who are 20 years older than

1:23:42

me who I'd never consider elderly,

1:23:45

there's people I know who are retired where I'd

1:23:47

never think of them as

1:23:49

elderly. It's really strange how that,

1:23:52

it's like a light switch. Don't

1:23:55

forget to sign up for Beautiful

1:23:57

Anonymous Plus at beautifulanonymous.com. Thank

1:24:01

you.