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Keep small things small

Keep small things small

Released Thursday, 5th March 2020
 1 person rated this episode
Keep small things small

Keep small things small

Keep small things small

Keep small things small

Thursday, 5th March 2020
 1 person rated this episode
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

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0:03

Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production

0:05

of I Heart Radio. Good

0:09

Morning, This is Laura. Welcome

0:12

to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

0:15

tip is to keep small things small.

0:18

Not everything warrants a big response. And

0:21

by keeping small things small, as the saying

0:23

goes, you save your time and energy

0:25

for things that truly do warrant your attention.

0:28

You'll probably be happier too. If

0:31

you're like most people, you no doubt find yourself

0:33

annoyed when things in life aren't quite right.

0:36

I know I do. Maybe your neighbor

0:38

leaves his garbage bins on the curb for days,

0:41

or maybe your workplace sends pointless email

0:43

newsletters that you can't unsubscribe

0:45

from. If you're listening to this

0:47

podcast, my guess is that you have high

0:50

standards for yourself and you try to

0:52

find solutions to problems that come up in your

0:54

life. That's generally a good thing.

0:57

Sometimes, though, our attempts to find

0:59

solutions can cost more than

1:01

the problems they're trying to solve. That's

1:04

when it pays to keep small things small. The

1:07

first way to keep small things small is to recognize

1:10

them as small things. Ask

1:12

yourself, how much does this affect my

1:14

life or the lives of the people I care

1:16

about. Sometimes the answer

1:18

will be not much. These

1:21

are occasions to practice patients. You

1:24

can smile after someone cuts in front of you

1:26

in the line to exit from the highway. Maybe

1:29

the person is a thoughtless jerk, or

1:31

maybe it's a tourist in a rental car who

1:33

had no idea that that's where the exit was. In

1:36

any case, you know that you will still

1:39

get to work on time at your high paying

1:41

job, or you do challenging, meaningful

1:44

work alongside clever colleagues.

1:46

I mean, really, what does it matter

1:48

to you? If you're not sure

1:51

whether you're dealing with a small thing, try

1:53

what Richard Carlson, author of Don't

1:56

Sweat the Small Stuff, calls the time

1:58

warp. Imagine yourself a

2:00

year from now, how much does this

2:02

issue matter? Most likely,

2:04

you won't remember your commute two days from

2:06

now, let alone a year from now. Or

2:09

you can ask yourself whose issue

2:11

is this? Anyway, it might

2:13

be nice if your colleague didn't use double

2:15

exclamation points and all his emails, but

2:18

this hardly reflects upon you. You You might

2:20

prefer that your high schooler look a little less

2:22

like she had slept in her clothes, but again

2:25

to eat her own. Psychologist

2:28

Wendy Mogul, in her book The Blessing of a b

2:30

Minus, encourages parents to

2:32

allow themselves to appreciate their kids

2:34

as they figure out who they are, even

2:36

when their tastes or hobbies they

2:39

seem a little odd. She offers

2:41

an old Hebrew prayer, thank

2:44

you God for varying the creatures.

2:46

The next time you find yourself about to get annoyed

2:49

or want to fix something that isn't actually your

2:51

problem, just say to yourself, what

2:53

a world plenty of surprises and

2:56

leave other people to their exclamation points

2:58

or odd bawl fashion. Sometimes,

3:01

though, you may feel like a small thing is

3:03

having an adverse effect on you or someone else,

3:06

and you feel the urge to address it.

3:08

Even then, a little perspective is wise.

3:11

I find it helpful to imagine how a conversation

3:14

about the issue might unfold.

3:17

Suppose you have a monthly conference call that

3:19

consistently starts ten minutes late.

3:22

You faithfully log on at the scheduled time,

3:25

only to spend ten minutes talking about the weather.

3:28

As you think about bringing this up with the person

3:30

who convenes the call, try to imagine

3:32

what you would say try to imagine

3:34

how he might respond. Are you

3:36

feeling stumped about what you might say?

3:39

That doesn't sound petty about

3:41

this ten minutes every month? Or you

3:43

have to talk about the weather. If

3:45

so, plan for the delay,

3:47

come up with your best weather jokes, or

3:50

just dial in late yourself. Other

3:52

times, though, imagining the conversation will

3:54

help you figure out how to keep a small thing in perspective

3:57

while constructively addressing its.

4:00

Suppose you frequently learned about special programs

4:02

at your kids school just a few days before you

4:05

either scramble to rearrange your work schedule

4:07

or your kids are disappointed when you can't be there.

4:10

At first blush, you might think to respond to

4:12

the teacher's next email with your frustration

4:14

about this, but that might make the

4:16

teacher feel guilty and probably doesn't

4:19

help the long term goal of a good relationship,

4:21

so instead you envision another option.

4:24

When you have a hunch that there's an event coming up,

4:27

you reach out to your child's teacher to ask if

4:29

there's something you should anticipate. Hello,

4:31

Mrs Rogers. With springbreak around the corner,

4:33

I wondered if there might be a class party.

4:36

I'm eager to get it on the calendar so I can

4:38

arrange my schedule to attend. Hopefully

4:41

that will elicit at least tentative information

4:43

and maybe even nudge the teacher to give

4:45

a little more notice for special events in the

4:47

future. You kept the small things

4:49

small while still addressing an issue

4:52

that was bothering you. How

4:54

do you manage to keep small things small in your

4:56

life? You can let me know at

4:58

Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart

5:01

media dot com. In the meantime,

5:03

this is Laura. Thanks for listening

5:06

and here's to making the most of our time. Hey,

5:15

everybody, I'd love to hear from you.

5:17

You can send me your tips, your questions, or

5:19

anything else. Just connect with

5:21

me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram

5:24

at Before Breakfast pod. That's

5:27

b the number four then

5:29

Breakfast p o D. You

5:32

can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

5:34

podcast at i heeart media dot com.

5:37

That Before Breakfast is spelled out with all

5:39

the letters. Thanks so much, should I

5:41

look forward to staying in touch. Before

5:48

Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio.

5:51

For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit

5:54

the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

5:56

or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I

6:00

don't get

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