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0:42

Hi. Is this year? Hi, Nicole.

0:45

You never got to guess what you did this morning.

0:48

What? What'd you do?

0:51

I. your

0:53

friend. Yes. So

0:55

she was Amanda?

0:56

Yes. To

0:58

go swim class.

1:08

Where? What?

1:12

What time did this happen?

1:14

Ten fifteen. Oh

1:17

my god. Oh my god. Was

1:19

it a private class? Was it a group

1:21

class? a group class

1:24

at a community pool nearby, and

1:27

it was from ages sixteen to a

1:29

hundred. Yes. But

1:32

everyone's like, let's

1:34

see. I would say, I'm

1:37

probably the youngest and then there's like people

1:39

in their forties. and then one woman

1:41

who's maybe a hundred and seventy two.

1:43

ah ah ah ah ah

1:46

Oh my god. And you went

1:48

alone? I

1:50

went alone. Yeah.

1:53

Wow. Wow. I'm

1:55

so

1:56

fucking proud of you.

1:59

Did you learn

1:59

a breaststroke or a freestyle

2:03

or a backstroke?

2:04

No. Did you learn So

2:06

did so did I learn? So

2:09

far, we're just learning to swim

2:12

and to swim.

2:15

Okay. Gotcha. getting into different strokes

2:17

yet. But

2:19

but first one was yesterday. It's, like, Saturdays

2:21

and Sundays. Okay. And

2:23

there's six classes. And

2:26

it's like it's very funny. I

2:29

I know how to swim. I knew how to swim

2:31

this whole time. I

2:35

just needed time. I just

2:37

needed confidence and time to do it.

2:42

there's, like, good twenty minutes where I was, like,

2:44

I don't know what I'm doing. And then,

2:46

like, then she was, like, do this. And I was,

2:48

like, oh, I know what I'm doing.

2:49

I can definitely swim back and forth. Oh,

2:52

funny. I love that

2:54

you took a class to to learn how to

2:56

swim, and then you discovered you can swim.

2:58

I can't live. I do

3:01

feel like I can't float and

3:03

I think that's what was freaking me out before

3:05

because -- Oh. -- I

3:07

can't just, like, be in the water

3:09

and exist. I have to move

3:12

or else I think I think to

3:14

the moment. So I think I was like,

3:16

I don't know how to swim, but I if

3:18

I swim, I'll I can be I

3:21

can be on the top. Mhmm. But I just I'm

3:23

stationary. Can

3:25

you float on your back? No.

3:27

I cannot. Uh-huh. Can

3:29

you tread water?

3:31

I it it's very

3:33

hard for me to tread water. Oh.

3:36

You

3:36

would not try to tread at Barton Springs

3:38

and boy oh boy. Was I dying?

3:42

You and your cap

3:44

trying to tread water? It's a very

3:47

good memory of mine. So,

3:52

wait, what happens when you try to float?

3:55

My lower half just takes

3:57

me down.

3:59

Oh. And

4:02

I looked it up and I

4:04

should have saved the website, but I was just like talking

4:06

about how

4:07

some people just genuinely don't float.

4:09

And I

4:10

think I might lose people.

4:14

I just I for

4:16

me, I think you can. I

4:19

don't think I can. I don't think I can. I don't think

4:21

I can. So with your teacher, did

4:23

your teacher try to help you with it? Yes.

4:26

she did. And I was explaining, I was like, I

4:28

feel like my body just wants to

4:30

sink. And she's like, yeah. That's

4:34

kind of it. She was like, yeah. And then, like, she

4:36

was helping me, and she was, like, lifting my back, and

4:38

she's, like, lift your hips more, and I would. And

4:40

then they would immediately start going down. And

4:42

she's, like, she's, like, yeah, sometimes when

4:44

it happens, And she's like, but if you move,

4:46

it'll be fine. And I was like, yes.

4:48

But I was like, my problem is floating, and she's

4:50

like, sure. But just

4:52

swim. And I was like, alright. I guess we'll

4:54

just do laps. I

4:56

just okay. Because

4:58

yeah. Like, I'll sync too,

5:00

but I just, like, Yeah.

5:02

I just pushed my butt out and, like,

5:06

lift my feet a little bit. Darn

5:08

it when you look up if there's people

5:10

who can't out float. because

5:13

I really feel like it's just it's

5:16

just me. It's just my makeup.

5:18

One of my best friends. He was actually, like,

5:20

on the swim team like, on the Varsity team

5:22

in high school. Uh-huh. He can't float

5:24

either, but I'm gonna do some

5:25

more research. Wait. That

5:28

is so wild to me.

5:30

And I said the same thing. I was like, you have to float,

5:32

and he was like, no. I will show you. I was a

5:34

swim team. I can upload. Yeah.

5:39

Wild.

5:40

I

5:42

just I

5:44

just feel like everyone go float. I

5:47

don't like that. and

5:48

I want everyone to float. It's

5:50

just It's nice.

5:54

It's like really nice to just, like,

5:55

be on your back

5:57

and, like, head up to the

6:00

sun and just being,

6:02

like, okay. Generally speaking,

6:04

people that are muscular, lean

6:06

or thin, will tend

6:08

to sink. And those

6:10

that have a wider surface area

6:14

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Or a larger

6:16

body fat percentage will usually

6:18

remain afloat for longer.

6:21

So I float because I'm fat.

6:25

You know, that's not what

6:27

I thought. I'm gonna do more research.

6:29

I was gonna hear as

6:32

to how I float. They're

6:34

like you're basically an inflatable

6:36

wrap. that's why you float.

6:41

You're a buoy. You're a buoy.

6:44

Everyone, jump aboard. The

6:46

raft just leaving the pool. That

6:49

is very interesting to

6:51

me.

6:53

Yeah. I'm

6:56

too lean.

6:57

Too lean, too muscular.

7:00

So

7:00

I wonder if the rock can

7:03

float. If anyone is

7:05

close to the rock and has access to

7:07

him, I'd love to know if he

7:09

could float. Just based

7:11

on the name, I think he would say. Oh,

7:16

they're very good. I

7:18

am really proud of you. Thank

7:20

you. Yeah. I was nervous. Honestly,

7:24

the I

7:25

signed up right after I saw Mike Burbiglia's show

7:29

old man in the pool. He did

7:31

a run here in LA, and

7:34

he saw him out, his health in

7:36

general and then swimming.

7:38

And I'd already been thinking about taking

7:40

swimming classes because literally everybody in my life

7:42

wants me to swim. And it's

7:45

all I want. and you don't even have

7:47

hair to get wet now. So I just like to

7:49

get in it. I have no excuse. And

7:52

I had looked at this pool that was nearby that

7:54

had classes, but they were, like, under construction.

7:56

And then I saw that show. And I was, like, I

7:58

should just sign up. And then I looked at the website,

8:00

and they had classes open. So I signed

8:02

up right then and there. and it's

8:06

only, like, six classes.

8:08

They're very short. I was like, I can do

8:10

this. And then I went, And I

8:12

and I'm not so scared. Did

8:15

you have fun? I had fun.

8:17

I'm excited. I'm looking forward to the

8:19

next one.

8:19

Really?

8:21

Yeah. Oh my god.

8:24

Okay. As a graduation gift,

8:26

we gotta get on a yacht, and we gotta

8:28

jump off the yacht. Oh my goodness.

8:30

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Hey. Hold on.

8:34

I told your horses. I

8:39

have two very

8:41

visceral memories of swim swim

8:43

classes and then, like, maybe

8:45

just like a swim club

8:47

I

8:47

went to. But in the class,

8:49

I was a, like, a bit like a child,

8:51

very small child. And we were

8:54

wearing Maybe we weren't wearing

8:56

floaties. I don't remember that. But I

8:58

remember looking in the water being like, I

9:00

gotta get in this. Why are just my

9:02

feet in the water? Bitch, let

9:04

me in. and the instructor was doing

9:06

something with, like, another kid and I was, like, fuck

9:08

that kid. And then I, like, leaned over and

9:10

was splashing in the water and then I toppled

9:12

in. And then I remember looking at being like,

9:14

I'll never get out of this.

9:16

I don't think I'm okay. Oh,

9:19

no. And then she snatched me

9:21

out of the water, and she was like, don't do that. Don't

9:23

lean over like that. And I

9:25

said, okay. And I did

9:27

it again. And that's, like, my

9:29

first memory of water of, like,

9:31

being, like, everyone be down here for a

9:33

very long time. Oh, yeah. And then

9:35

my second memory is

9:38

jumping off the highest diving

9:40

board in my favorite bathing suit

9:42

from Bratley's, which was a store on

9:44

the East Coast that I love. I believe the

9:46

brand was no boundaries. and

9:48

I it was black. It

9:50

had two white stripes going up

9:52

either side of, like, the titties

9:54

side. and then a zipper, a big

9:56

chunky zipper in the middle. And it

9:58

was too small and I

9:59

refused to get a bigger one. and I

10:02

jumped right off that diving board,

10:04

and the impact from hitting the water,

10:06

split that zipper wide out

10:08

of it. And

10:10

then I was, like, freaking out in the water

10:12

because I was, like, my boobs are out.

10:16

And I did get it rezipped. And,

10:18

yeah, that's, like, two very

10:20

very loud memories in my

10:23

brain. Yeah.

10:25

I have a memory where I was in a

10:27

pool and I felt like I was

10:29

like, push down too

10:32

far. And then I

10:34

do feel like someone, like, went, like,

10:37

came under my like, put their hands under

10:39

my arms and, like, lifted me up to where the

10:41

ladder was. Mhmm. And it looked around.

10:43

There was no one there. A

10:45

ghost save you.

10:47

Orange Angel. Oh, my

10:50

God. Orange Angel

10:53

saved you. I

10:55

love it. I love to

10:56

When you walk

11:00

down the road, you

11:02

have a modem, That song,

11:06

the theme

11:06

song to touch my angel. Stays

11:09

in my head.

11:11

I'll be

11:13

doing any old thing, and I'll just be

11:15

like, and I don't

11:18

know why. It's

11:19

a good time. It's

11:21

a very colorful.

11:22

Very delicacy,

11:24

I believe, saying it. and she was one of

11:26

the angels on the show with Roma Downey.

11:30

Wow. Wow.

11:32

The more you know. Isn't it

11:34

wild the things that are in my

11:36

head? the I

11:39

recently I told you this the

11:40

other day, but I

11:42

finally figured out what I think the inside of my

11:44

head is like, and I think it's exactly like

11:46

the it's a small worldwide at Disney --

11:49

Yeah. -- where it's like things are covered in

11:51

glitter. There's weird little baby dolls shaking

11:53

their butts. And there's,

11:55

like, palm trees that were cut out of

11:57

construction paper. I

12:00

I could have

12:02

ridden that ride forever. I

12:04

felt at home in a way that I cannot

12:07

describe to you. Wow. It

12:09

was it was, like, very calming. I

12:11

was like, I

12:16

guess it is right now. Yeah.

12:18

We got good Disneyland. Apparently, I'm a

12:20

Disney person. Mhmm. I

12:22

promise test. She wants to take me to some park. I

12:24

can't remember my I don't know. But

12:26

she was like, so you'll go to the amusement park

12:29

now. And I was like, I guess, they're not as bad as

12:31

I thought they were. I'll go.

12:33

I'll go anywhere. Oh,

12:35

fun. Yeah.

12:37

Yeah. Yeah. They can be

12:39

fun right now. It's

12:41

a lot of walking. It's a

12:43

lot of walking. It's a sheer

12:45

too much

12:47

walking.

12:48

Mhmm. And

12:51

I

12:51

don't know why they haven't thought of a way to

12:53

make it so you don't have to walk so much.

12:55

It is surprising that they don't have moving

12:58

walkways everywhere. Right. Be an

13:00

airport. Yeah.

13:02

Be an airport. Stay an airport.

13:05

Oh my god. So sure I was just at the

13:08

freaking airport. My

13:10

god. First of

13:12

all, United.

13:16

Yuck. But I had

13:18

a fly united on my

13:20

initial leg. And

13:23

Disgusting nasty. No

13:25

TVs. I'll never understand

13:27

planes. American Airlines is the same

13:29

way. No TVs. You

13:31

expect me to use my own

13:32

fucking device. You

13:34

expect me to remember to pack

13:37

wireless fucking headphones

13:39

so I can charge my phone as I'm

13:41

wasting the battery because you don't have ATV

13:45

Dude. Dude, flew back on

13:47

Delta. Thank god. Diamond Deebas. I

13:49

spent time in the lounge. I had

13:51

a great time. Thank

13:53

God. But So

13:55

sheer Oh, no. I had to pay

13:57

for a Kettle One in club soda

14:00

because now it's a premium spirit.

14:02

You have to pay for premium spirits.

14:04

And then I said, alright. Well, I paid for

14:07

one tip them because I didn't have any cash. So I was

14:09

like, I'll tip them by paying for this.

14:11

And then I was like,

14:13

Oh, can I have another? But also, I want

14:15

just the normal body of the free one. They were

14:17

out of it. So if you were out of the

14:20

free one,

14:21

Why

14:21

didn't you get me? The

14:24

premium one? For free.

14:27

Interesting. Interesting. Interesting.

14:29

I'm so mad. And then I

14:31

had to

14:31

show my credit card, my Delta

14:33

card, to get in. I said I'm a Diamond

14:35

EVA. So why am I showing

14:37

you a card? Right. And then she

14:39

said,

14:39

well, did you go online and pick your perks?

14:41

And I was like, you know I didn't,

14:44

ma'am? Yeah. And then you're

14:46

changing the rules all, but -- Yes.

14:48

they're trying to keep people out and you know

14:50

what, you will not keep the coal buyer out of

14:52

the Delta lounge.

14:59

You cannot you will

15:01

not. As I live

15:03

in Greek, You will

15:07

not keep me out of the Delta lounge.

15:09

No. I had a time

15:11

at the airport. So okay. So the Delta

15:13

lounge, I had my problem with the

15:15

cocktails, the food, terrible. Everything

15:17

was very bad. They had macaroni and cheese,

15:20

please. That was not macaroni and cheese. It was

15:22

nasty. And they put vegetables

15:24

in it. I said, who is this for?

15:27

No. And then lady next to me, she had a

15:29

backpack. I loved it. I said, man, where is that

15:31

backpack from? She said Walmart. So

15:33

I went on the website and I found it at

15:35

walmart dot com, but they won't

15:37

ship it to me. They said, no, we

15:39

cannot ship it to you. So that my assistant

15:41

go on the hunt for it. She has not found it

15:43

yet. And then I found a child with

15:45

a purple leopard print backpack,

15:47

and I walked very fast up to

15:49

that child I'm sure some it

15:51

looked like I was trying to steal the child. I was like, excuse

15:53

me. Where's your backpack from?

15:56

And the mother went,

15:58

excuse me. And I said, I'm sorry where

15:59

she travels back back from. She was like

16:02

Walmart or no. Not Walmart. Target.

16:04

And I said, thank you. Okay. Goodbye. And

16:06

then I found it on Target. And then I

16:08

set my sister to go get that. God is

16:10

a day. I do have

16:12

her, do strange things. And I'll explain

16:14

to her why I have her. I was like, I chased

16:16

a child, I want this backpack. And

16:20

she just has to be like, okay. Okay.

16:23

Oh my god. I did okay. So

16:25

I had a someone was in

16:27

my house and I thought I

16:29

was texting them to get me

16:32

water from the kitchen and

16:34

Did I tell you about this?

16:37

No. And I texted, can

16:39

I have water from the kitchen? And

16:41

then the response was in your house.

16:43

And I was like, yeah. And

16:45

then I texted

16:47

again. I was like, can I have

16:49

water? And I said, oh, yeah. Sorry.

16:51

Okay. and then they brought me the water.

16:53

And then I see in the doorway

16:55

my assistant Lindsay with a glass of

16:57

water. And I was like, What

16:59

happened?

17:00

And she said, you texted me to bring you a glass

17:02

of water from your kitchen. And I was like,

17:05

no. Oh, no. Wait. Was

17:07

Lindsay already in your house? No.

17:09

She left her home. She parked

17:11

her door. She came into

17:14

the house. she poured water out of the

17:16

thoughts and brought it to me

17:18

because I asked for it, but I was

17:20

asking the person in my

17:22

house. And I --

17:25

Oh. -- deeply embarrassed. I said,

17:27

I am so sorry, but that's what

17:29

I knew. She's a

17:31

keeper. I ain't many issues before that, but I

17:33

was so embarrassed. She also had to drop

17:35

something else off, so she was

17:37

like, just go, I didn't mind. I had to drop off

17:39

that thing you needed for something like

17:41

a parking pass or whatever. But I was

17:43

like, Lindsay, I am so embarrassed Next

17:46

time, please call me because I don't

17:48

ever want you to leave your home to bring me

17:50

a glass of water. But

17:53

you know what? There probably are people

17:55

like that. Yeah.

17:57

I think I'm

17:59

sure. People

17:59

ask their citizens to be like, Can you get

18:02

this and, like, they'll just

18:04

come and do that because they're that's what their

18:06

job is. Oh my god.

18:08

I was so deeply embarrassed.

18:11

And now when I asked her to do things, I'm

18:13

like, do you mind doing this? I'm so sorry. because, like,

18:15

I I just think about it a lot.

18:17

I couldn't believe I did

18:20

that. From your

18:23

house. She had she she

18:25

was like, let me clarify. you

18:27

want a glass of water from

18:29

your house. Mhmm.

18:31

And she could have been, like, bet you're

18:33

in. And My

18:36

god. The one you're currently in. The

18:38

one that you're you're in the kitchen that

18:41

you're near. the kitchen that you're basically

18:43

in, like, you're taking steps away

18:45

from it. Boy.

18:47

Oh, boy. And I was truly

18:49

bewildered. I was like, why is she holding a

18:51

cup of water? I was like, oh, she helped her

18:53

herself for some water and she's giving me something. And

18:55

then she handed it to me and I was like, What?

18:59

Goodness gracious.

19:02

She's helping me out too.

19:04

She

19:04

is? Yeah.

19:05

because I was asking her some

19:08

about Amy's

19:09

prep. And I was like,

19:11

uh-huh. Hey, where do I go for

19:13

anything? And she's like, I take her. And

19:15

I was like, oh my god. Thank you. And

19:17

she's like, didn't Nicole tell you about this party that you're

19:19

going to? No. Like, she sure didn't. Thank

19:22

you for letting me

19:24

know. Hell, yeah, man.

19:27

I'll keep you in the dark

19:29

forever.

19:31

I'm sorry. I

19:33

can't believe that I

19:37

didn't tell you anything. I

19:41

told production for grand cruz,

19:43

like, I'm so sorry, God

19:45

bless. If you need me to do anything or

19:47

want me to do a single thing, you have to tell

19:49

Lindsay because Lindsay will just

19:51

text me until it gets done. And -- Yeah. --

19:53

it's such god

19:55

bless. Also, she knows that if I have

19:57

something before noon, She has

19:59

to call

19:59

me to wake me up. Mhmm.

20:01

And then after she so

20:03

I I asked her, I was like, I'm bad at waking

20:05

up in the mornings. I hate mornings. Will

20:07

you call me an hour before

20:09

I'm supposed to be somewhere? Because

20:11

I could get ready easy breezy if I wake up

20:13

an hour before. And then

20:16

the week the two weeks where I was working,

20:18

like, night shoots and today shoots,

20:20

I got in the habit of

20:22

waking up and then being like five more

20:24

minutes and going right back to

20:26

sleep and then not

20:28

being on time. So now

20:30

she knows if early enough that she calls me

20:32

to wake me up, I wake

20:34

up, and then she calls thirty

20:36

minutes later to be like, have you fallen

20:38

back asleep? Wow. Did

20:40

I tell you? I was

20:42

in San Francisco the other day

20:44

doing a job and I had to be awake

20:46

at seven seven

20:48

fifteen to be in the lobby at eight

20:50

twenty five. She called me seven

20:52

fifteen, and I said and

20:54

I stood up out of the bed. And

20:56

then I said, then her sit down

20:58

again. And then I don't remember laying back

21:00

down and fell right back asleep.

21:02

Wow. Got another call half hour later. She's like, hey,

21:04

did you fall back I said, you know it? I

21:07

was like, tell a monkey fifteen minutes

21:10

late. Thank goodness.

21:12

Yeah. It's and I know

21:15

talking about it.

21:16

It seems like I'm an infant

21:18

or, like, done

21:20

or a child But, like, I am

21:22

so busy that, like, I

21:25

just need sleep

21:27

sometimes. I can't even if I did all this

21:29

by myself for so long. I

21:31

can't either. Yes. Wow.

21:35

Thank goodness crazy. Now,

21:37

I'll answer

21:38

a single email.

21:40

It's lovely.

21:42

I don't. I don't. Lindsay

21:44

does it. It's great. Mhmm.

21:46

And then sometimes people will be like, we need

21:48

this answer and I Throw it to Lindsay, and

21:51

then she reads it. And then she

21:53

goes, they need an answer. Yeah.

21:56

They need an answer from you. like Lindsay,

21:58

what do you think? Lindsay, what's going on?

22:02

You tell me. I love her so

22:04

much. Mhmm. Also, she

22:06

like So I asked her, did you research

22:08

for why won't you date me guess? I just asked

22:10

for, like, a one pager in case I get

22:12

stuck. And I'm, like, oh, I don't know what

22:14

question I wanna do. we have something to refer

22:17

to, she sends me, like, three or four

22:19

pages. And then there was what time I asked a

22:21

question? They went, how do you know that? And I

22:23

was, like,

22:23

my assistant did a

22:25

research and they were like, wow, she deep dive.

22:27

She's great. A fucking lover.

22:30

Yeah. I am so glad. don't read scripts. You know, I don't read

22:32

scripts. Famously don't read a

22:34

script.famously agreed to do things. I know I knew what's

22:36

going on. But I'll

22:39

read it, like, afterwards, after, you

22:41

know, after the time I'm supposed to have

22:43

read it, but she'll give me a

22:45

synopsis. So then I go, oh my

22:47

god. That's what this is about. And

22:49

then I can read it because I already know what's

22:51

going on and it makes it so much

22:53

easier. I'll tell you, sure.

22:55

I'm thriving in this year twenty

22:57

twenty of our lord. Nope. twenty twenty two of our

22:59

lord. Oh, no.

23:03

baby now driving. I

23:09

cannot believe I said twenty twenty.

23:11

It hasn't been twenty two years.

23:15

Oh, god. Time is flying

23:17

since she are. I know. I

23:20

know.

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real good.

25:26

Shutic quiz. Yeah.

25:27

Hell yeah.

25:28

Yeah. I saw a meme and I meant to

25:31

send it to you, but I fell

25:33

asleep. But it was just

25:35

like this lady being like, It's

25:37

over for you, hose, when I finally

25:39

put on my matching pajamas set. And

25:41

I was like, there is someone else out there who

25:43

fix A mark of

25:46

how much He's

25:49

wearing a matching the job a set.

25:51

man, I wish I had saved it.

25:54

Oh.

25:55

Oh. Since it's

25:59

like October and smoothie time, should

26:01

we do Are you a girl, Google,

26:03

or a girl? Yes.

26:08

I

26:08

love it.

26:10

All that

26:10

stands in the way of you figuring out if

26:13

you're a girl, ghoul, or god, are these

26:15

simple questions? Yes.

26:18

Okay. What Is your dream

26:20

home style?

26:24

Modern, rustic, minimalist,

26:29

Colorful. Well,

26:31

well minimalist

26:33

seem I minimalist is

26:35

so upsetting to me. when

26:37

people have a white room with, like, a chair, I'm like, ugh.

26:43

I'm gonna go colorful. Yeah.

26:46

You're deaf you're just definitely colorful. Mhmm.

26:49

Mine's

26:49

rustic. Mhmm.

26:51

Rustic is like a binder, it's

26:53

not. So you're like,

26:55

I would say boohoo.

26:58

Yeah. But that's not here. So I guess

27:01

rustic is the

27:03

next best. Yeah.

27:05

because you're certainly not modern. You

27:07

old timey bitch. I

27:13

am an old timey bitch.

27:15

And you're not a minimalist. You've got

27:17

a thousand chairs. Yes.

27:20

I have more chairs than I need, so that's true.

27:22

Yeah. It's resting. I love that you

27:24

love chairs. It's one

27:26

of my favorite things about you.

27:29

Yeah. Let's sit.

27:31

Yeah. Let

27:34

me chair. God

27:36

take a load off. What's

27:41

your go to Friday night meal?

27:44

A salad. burrito,

27:56

pizza, shrimp.

27:57

I

27:59

amy mean, I once ate pizza for a

28:01

month straight. So obviously, pizza

28:04

so. I'm also gonna say pizza. I

28:06

love a burrito but it's more like

28:08

morning time, lunch

28:10

time. Mhmm. Friday night

28:12

at the end of the week. I'm trying to get into that

28:14

pizza. Me too. I'm trying to

28:16

to my way to

28:18

him. I

28:20

took the lact tea the other

28:22

day. Oh my god. Who was I with?

28:24

Oh, I can't remember who I

28:26

was with. They gave me a lactad.

28:28

And boy. Oh, boy. Did it change

28:30

my dang life? Oh, did

28:33

you do it before or after

28:35

the meal?

28:37

Before the meal.

28:39

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. And I didn't toot anywhere.

28:41

I stayed right on the ground.

28:43

Oh

28:43

my goodness. No toots. No

28:46

toots. It's

28:48

really nice. I think I need to get some and just really

28:50

embrace that I am not tolerant

28:52

of lactose. Mhmm.

28:56

Also, to sure, I had fish the other

28:58

day that I liked. What

29:01

fish? It was called a branzeno. Oh,

29:04

I've seen it out in the menu a bunch, and you

29:06

can try it. And I don't think I like it, but I'll

29:08

let you like it. I think you might like it from

29:10

this place, mother Wolf.

29:13

Oh. I guess not obsessed to be But

29:15

he's a mama shelter? No.

29:17

Not mama shelter. Mother Wolf.

29:20

Mother Wolf. There is to take you to called

29:22

Cataen. They serve you

29:24

a quesadilla, and it's

29:26

open, and then you have to fold

29:28

it. I was livid. I

29:30

said, I have to finish the cooking.

29:32

But then I ate it. It was the most delicious case

29:34

today I've ever had my whole dang life.

29:38

Okay. What's your work desk set

29:40

up? There's

29:42

one laptop flat on

29:44

the table and it's like a dimly lit.

29:46

off the space

29:50

with, like, a plant.

29:51

Mhmm. Okay. This one is two

29:54

monitors. Don't know why you'd need

29:56

it. There's a teeny little plant. There's a water bottle

29:58

and there's a

29:59

mouse. I don't have a mouse. There's

30:04

a couple of editors.

30:07

desktop. There's one desktop

30:09

that's got a big sign

30:11

that says, get shit done

30:13

and then, like, a little globe

30:15

light fixture, another light fixture that's like one of

30:17

those Pixar lamps. And then a plant,

30:20

an old clock, and

30:22

a camera. Speaking

30:25

of Pixar, did you ever think

30:27

about how that lamp

30:29

smashes the eye? Did

30:31

I ever think about it?

30:33

Like how? Have you ever thought about how

30:35

that lamp murders a letter?

30:38

and we all smile about it?

30:40

Oh, murders,

30:42

smushes it out of

30:45

his existence. I guess,

30:47

I never thought about that. And then they go, t he he here's a children's

30:50

movie.

30:54

But

30:55

and were positive that the eye

30:57

was animate? I

30:59

don't know if that lamp can hop

31:01

around. Mhmm. Those letters

31:04

they were hitting their mark, and they were just trying

31:06

to, you know, film for

31:08

the opening, what they were hired to do, and

31:10

then a lamp. Imagine imagine you

31:12

hit your mark And you're waiting

31:14

for to have your picture taken

31:17

or, like -- Mhmm. -- them to go action. And then

31:19

a big lamp comes

31:21

and stumps you out.

31:24

They're just day players. Day is

31:27

taping to do their

31:29

little to do their thing

31:31

on the opening and

31:33

leave. This lamp

31:35

comes out of his trailer. Yeah.

31:37

Stop. Stop. Stop it. I

31:39

imagine all these little lower case eyes at

31:41

home waiting for daddy to come back. No.

31:45

Oh, no.

31:48

He

31:48

never got stuck. And

31:50

then they had to deliver the news. Oh,

31:52

lamb murdered your big eye dad.

31:55

An a

31:58

cursive eye, the mom. She's

31:59

crying. Yes. Okay.

32:03

This

32:04

last test case. is

32:09

a desk with a

32:10

bunch of papers on it.

32:12

It's

32:13

very messy. Mhmm. That

32:16

one's mine. I am looking at my desk

32:18

right now and I'm like, boy,

32:20

lots of

32:20

bottles, lots of

32:23

papers. Yeah.

32:25

the guess

32:27

mine would be Maybe

32:30

they get

32:30

shit done. I do have I'm surrounded by lambs

32:33

right now. and

32:35

I love putting motivational stickers

32:37

around me to ignore them.

32:43

really funny. It's

32:45

like we're gonna get work

32:47

today. It is, like, it was a calendar next to

32:49

me. It's, like, right, you're you're

32:51

planned for today. It's empty. I

32:56

do really like, I have this notebook

32:58

next

32:58

to me that I'm like, when ideas come,

33:00

if I write them down,

33:02

And then I've drawn a face, a wave, and

33:04

a heart in the last couple of

33:06

days. That's that's about it. Mhmm.

33:10

Mhmm. Okay.

33:14

What's your coffee order

33:18

black?

33:18

Just

33:19

cream. Cream

33:21

and sugar. I don't

33:23

like coffee. I'm the

33:25

I don't like coffee. You

33:27

don't like coffee. But you do like

33:30

tea. This is true. Okay.

33:32

And I stole some tea for

33:34

you.

33:34

For me, Yeah.

33:35

The next time you come to my house, I'm

33:37

gonna have three options for you. Oh

33:40

my goodness. Then I

33:42

stole from

33:42

a voice over I said,

33:45

excuse me, can't have these? They were,

33:47

like, sure. It's

33:49

like, we'll pay you up.

33:52

It is funny. III

33:54

walk around this earth, like,

33:56

no one ever gives me a penny.

33:58

I take things from the I'm can I have

33:59

this pen? Can I have this

34:02

notebook? Can I just mug? I

34:05

drink my coffee black. Mhmm.

34:07

Mhmm. Have you ever

34:10

drank coffee?

34:11

I worked at Starbucks,

34:14

blazing that for a few months. Oh, I didn't know

34:16

that. Okay. You knew this.

34:18

Mhmm. And You had to taste the coffee to know

34:20

how to describe it to the

34:22

customers. And I

34:24

would and taste

34:26

something. And you had to write it down for your manager, and I'd be like, well, this tastes

34:28

like dirt. And this tastes like

34:30

dirt dirt. This tastes

34:32

like dirt on fire. And

34:36

they're like, you should be a team master. And

34:38

I was like, great. Oh, dude. A team

34:40

master. That's pretty funny. This tastes

34:42

like dirt, dirt on fire. It's a

34:45

burnt dirt. To be

34:47

fair, Starbucks is coffee to

34:49

me taste burnt. I

34:51

don't think it's good, but I'll drink it because

34:54

why not? I still

34:56

served coffee even though I didn't know what tastes like. And

34:58

maybe I was the reason it would

35:00

taste like Burt dirt. I'm like, I think this

35:02

is right. I don't know. I think

35:04

I don't know. I couldn't work at Starbucks. People

35:06

have such

35:08

specific orders. very extremely. They'll,

35:10

like, tell you the degree? Yes.

35:12

Hot like, heat they

35:15

want on it, which is insane. How do you

35:18

figure that the fuck out?

35:20

I don't know. I guess

35:22

maybe they're like I have a long

35:24

drive, so I need to be super hot.

35:26

So by the time I get there,

35:28

it's still hot. Yeah. But how do you figure out

35:30

the degree to a barista

35:32

accidentally be like, Yeah. Eighty degrees. And then

35:34

you're like, yes. That's what I want at all times.

35:36

Although, how do you tell? What do you you you you

35:38

fucking put a thermometer

35:40

in there? That's exactly

35:42

what you do. There's there's a

35:44

you see that you're there's a thermometer

35:46

that we that we put in. There's also

35:48

certain buttons on the machine. You can

35:51

do most times because I also worked

35:53

at Starbucks for years. I just

35:56

hit extra extra hot. because if

35:57

you go past a certain temperature,

35:59

you

35:59

then hurdle the

36:01

milk. So you can't go past it. So you have

36:03

so many people who'd be like, I want this extra hot and

36:05

I'd be like, well, you're gonna get

36:07

it like this. or else? Mhmm.

36:09

It's gonna have chunks in it,

36:12

buddy.

36:12

I remember one of

36:14

the

36:14

first times I went

36:17

to striabics, I got like a caramel

36:20

frappuccino and I sucked it right

36:22

up and I said, this

36:24

is coffee. Oh my god. I love it so much. I

36:26

love coffee. And then I

36:28

had like a strawberry fucking

36:30

smoothie or I don't know. Do you know what that's

36:32

called, Jordan?

36:34

or maybe it's just a strawberry frappuccino.

36:36

There's a there's

36:37

a strawberries and cream frappuccino, but years

36:39

ago, there used to be

36:41

a strawberry smoothie.

36:42

Maybe

36:43

it was a strawberries, smoothie, or a strawberries, and

36:46

cream frappuccino. And then I was like, I

36:48

love coffee, but there's no coffee in

36:50

that one. Right? Not in not in

36:52

that one. The the caramel one that you're getting, it does have it has

36:56

an espresso

36:57

I forget what it's called, but there is coffee in

36:59

the the caramel, the

37:02

mocha one, there's

37:05

a vanilla one, But anything

37:07

that's, strawberry fruit --

37:08

Mhmm. -- is no. That's basically

37:14

I love coffee. I love coffee. Yum. I

37:17

just like the sugar

37:19

high. I think so. But guess

37:21

what I just discovered you

37:24

guys? What's that that? Smoothies.

37:26

So

37:29

so

37:31

That's the question. No. No.

37:33

Go ahead. Smoothies. Okay. Smoothies are

37:36

delicious. I didn't know. So the

37:38

only smoothie I have ever really had in

37:40

my life one from jamba juice, and I thought it was trash.

37:42

Two, I used to get a smoothie from a smoothie

37:44

king, but it was just a chocolate milk shake.

37:46

So I wasn't really doing

37:48

a smoothie. and it was

37:50

specifically the one in

37:52

Grand Central, not Grand Central,

37:54

in Penn Station. That's Movie King.

37:56

I hope it's still, you know, thriving. It

37:58

was delicious. And the dude who would make my smoothie

37:59

or milkshake, like, he would just be like, do you

38:02

want extra chocolate in

38:04

it? And I'd be like, gas queen. Yes. And I

38:06

get it, and he

38:08

loved me. And then so I was

38:10

like, I'm not real like, a real smoothie person, but then I had a voice over in Burbank.

38:12

And I was like, I'm hungry. And

38:14

then I was like, what is this

38:18

smoothy place. It's called Whata Peach, and I pulled

38:20

over. I parked my car right

38:22

in front. I stormed right up and

38:24

I said, what's your favorite one?

38:27

And the man said, people really like

38:29

the peanut butter banana one. I said,

38:31

give me that. And avocado toast,

38:33

I'll have it. and then got in my car punctured the top

38:35

because you have to puncture the top. There's

38:38

no hole for you to follow. So I

38:40

puncture the

38:42

top. took a sip and I

38:43

said, I love

38:45

smoothies. Wow. It was thick.

38:47

It was

38:49

yummy. It

38:50

was good. It was sweet. There

38:52

was dates in there. So at the end,

38:54

there was, like, some chunks of

38:58

date. and I scoot I spooned it up with my And

39:00

it was so good. So then

39:02

yesterday or two days ago,

39:06

don't remember which day. I said, I'll have some smoothies

39:08

delivered to my house because I love

39:10

smoothies. These ones were

39:13

not good. ones were thin, dribbling,

39:15

nasty smoothies. I couldn't believe

39:18

it. So now my gosh. I just have to keep

39:20

going back to what

39:22

a peach. I've ordered it three times to my home. They're not as

39:24

thick because I think on the drive they get

39:26

thin, but I don't wanna leave my

39:28

house. I

39:29

love a smoothie. But anyway, tell

39:31

you ever thought of making them

39:33

at home? What the

39:35

fuck bitch? What?

39:38

Well, I guess okay. So III have

39:40

made smoothies at home, but growing

39:42

up, I would put ice cream

39:44

in them so that's a milkshake.

39:47

And then I did a disgusting

39:49

thing. When I was little, I used to put ice

39:51

cream strawberries and then

39:53

a ton of sugar. in the

39:55

blender. Were they tasty? Very

39:58

sweet. Very.

40:00

mary And then

40:03

I can't remember when I first

40:05

moved to LA, John Milheiser would

40:07

make smoothies. And I didn't like his.

40:09

They were nasty. Too too many blueberries. So

40:11

then I discovered he put strawberries,

40:15

almond

40:15

know milk, half

40:16

a thing of peanut butter,

40:18

and then sugar free vanilla syrup.

40:21

that's a yummy smoothie. Again,

40:23

pretty milkshakey and not healthy

40:25

and not healthy. But,

40:29

yeah, I've discovered you could buy a good

40:32

smoothie. Okay. Yeah.

40:34

Anyway, I don't think you would be trusted to make your

40:36

own smoothie because we will just make a new check.

40:38

I I love milkshakes. Okay. Listen. It's

40:41

raining outside. You you take it

40:43

to your car. What do you

40:45

do? Oh, yeah.

40:48

The quiz. You you had

40:50

already checked the weather and brought

40:52

an umbrella with you. You

40:54

just run for it. The

40:57

rain already ruined your day. So how could

40:59

you how could getting wet make it

41:01

any worse? You will not let

41:04

rain ruin your day or on

41:06

your parade you manifested to stop.

41:08

Here's the thing. I can't remember

41:10

what this quiz was. Sure.

41:12

Sure. I didn't understand what this

41:15

question is related

41:17

to? It's I don't

41:19

know either. They're just asking what we

41:21

would do if

41:22

it rates. and I have to my car.

41:25

Okay.

41:25

Yeah. Remember if the

41:28

quizzes you are you a girl, a

41:30

girl, or

41:32

a doll? my gosh. Wow. I really I forgot

41:34

when I had guessed guessed

41:36

that. Okay.

41:38

okay

41:40

I

41:40

probably already had an umbrella with me because I probably did

41:43

check that. Okay.

41:46

I

41:48

So okay. I would try to manifest for it to

41:50

stop. Mhmm. But I would

41:52

just run for it. Okay. yeah

41:55

Your boss calls you into their office.

41:57

How do you react? You manifest

41:59

a

41:59

promotion out of

42:02

the meeting.

42:02

you bake cookies for your boss and bring them into office

42:04

for the meeting. Okay.

42:06

You

42:07

gotta scroll down, Jordan.

42:10

She

42:11

may have frozen. Oh, no. Come okay.

42:14

You

42:14

quit that day.

42:17

No questions asked. you

42:20

should look to the meeting and blame the any problems your

42:23

boss has with you. That's pretty

42:25

funny.

42:25

I would

42:25

manifest a promotion out of the meeting. I love

42:28

to manifest.

42:30

What would you do,

42:31

Sashir? I think I also manifest the promotion.

42:33

I don't think I would blame anyone

42:35

for any problems. No. You can't. I definitely

42:37

would think of these. definitely Yeah.

42:40

My bacon cookies for anybody, and I need this

42:44

job.

42:44

I need it. I need

42:46

money. And finally,

42:48

what's your go to sleepover

42:51

movie? Legally blonde.

42:54

Parasite. Whoa.

42:54

ghostbusters, the

42:57

zootopia is pretty funny,

42:59

but I also really

43:01

love legally blonde.

43:04

imparasite.

43:04

It's not a sleepover movie. I

43:06

did see it on a date with

43:09

this guy, and

43:10

he and there

43:12

was one point where people were, like, living in the basement, and he

43:14

lived in a basement. And I was, like, you're like

43:16

those people. You're a basement person, and

43:19

he didn't like that. Oh,

43:22

boy. Oh. Oh, no. Yeah. I guess,

43:24

it was tough. You didn't like

43:26

Probably why we're not

43:30

dating anymore. I'm gonna say

43:32

weekly blonde. Final answer. I'm gonna say zootopia.

43:34

Finally.

43:36

the It's fun. And

43:38

you get a message out of it. I

43:40

do

43:41

love zootopia. So this

43:43

is

43:43

Nicole. I'm

43:46

a god. Congrats. You're

43:46

the ultimate energy in the universe. You keep your

43:49

friends close, but

43:49

you keep your enemies

43:52

closer. You're

43:54

honest authentic. always try

43:56

to do

43:56

the right thing. Even when it's tough, you're also

43:58

the

43:58

person to everyone looks you for

43:59

advice. advice obama I

44:02

don't know. I'm

44:04

a

44:04

ghoul. Oh my god.

44:08

Dang, you got the moves

44:10

ghoul. You're the ultimate

44:13

gas lighter. Oh

44:13

my god. Always

44:15

manipulating your way

44:17

through any and every

44:19

sticky situation. Your gaslighting,

44:21

ghosting abilities allow you to

44:23

help your friends. Help was in

44:26

quotations. Whoa. It

44:29

says, read more. Oh, help your friends while

44:31

you secretly mess with them behind their

44:34

backs? We have to

44:35

defend Buzzfeed. That is

44:38

not you. You're

44:40

you're not a guru. I'm not a guru.

44:42

You've never gassled me anything. You've

44:44

never gassed me anything. Yeah. You've

44:47

never gassed never gasoline you

44:50

anything. And you would never gasoline let you

44:52

anything. I don't think you would either.

44:54

I don't like

44:56

that quiz. You're not a

44:58

girl. No. That's wrong. That's wrong. We're both

45:01

girls. We're girls.

45:02

we're girl

45:03

I've just a girl in

45:06

the world. Wait.

45:12

How does it get Just

45:14

to go and swerve. I'm

45:16

not

45:17

Yeah. I don't

45:19

know. I hear. Oh,

45:21

little, lo me. And in this

45:23

heaven, heaven so.

45:37

You know what? I

45:39

often think about no doubt, and I'm

45:41

like, that adult woman sounds like

45:43

that, and that's wild. She has

45:45

such an interesting and then her speaking is nowhere close to her

45:47

singing voice. Mhmm. It happens

45:50

sometimes. Yeah.

46:01

Okay. do a

46:04

quiz. A

46:05

question. We

46:08

just

46:09

did a quiz.

46:11

Listen bitch. I got

46:13

dizzy and confused. Hello Nicole is

46:15

this year, Kimmy, and joining. I love the

46:17

podcast. I look forward to it right

46:19

away. Now for my inquiry inquiry,

46:22

end quote, I'm a very timid

46:24

person who is learning to stand up for

46:26

my boundaries.

46:27

It has been mentioned several times that no

46:29

one loves to fight

46:31

in airports. My question

46:33

everyone would be, how do

46:35

you fight someone? efficiently when they are acting

46:37

poorly. Love you all. And I can't wait to fight

46:40

someone. I do

46:42

bad fights. Very

46:45

funny. I do love to fight

46:47

at the airport. Truly one of

46:49

my favorite hobbies.

46:52

I don't know if I would say you fight efficiently. Oh,

46:55

no. No. No.

46:58

No. No. It's

47:00

rooted in emotion. passion. It

47:03

is very passionate. How

47:06

do I fight at

47:08

a report?

47:09

I

47:14

mean, you identify what they

47:16

did wrong. and then you pointed them and you tell them

47:18

what they did wrong. Okay. So here's a

47:20

prime example yesterday in the bathroom

47:22

at LA. This woman

47:24

with a stroller and two kids came

47:26

barreling towards me and wouldn't

47:28

move, and then I had to move. And I said, you

47:30

know what?

47:30

excuse me

47:32

is a nice word that you could

47:34

use because you

47:35

don't gotta be like that. And then there was a lady washing

47:37

her hands at the sink. She's like, They do

47:39

that all day long. People just push

47:42

into you. They don't care they're

47:44

rude. And I said very

47:46

loudly, yeah. just because you have

47:48

kids and a stroller to me and get to

47:50

run people over. And

47:51

then I said, I

47:53

did my

47:56

dump. So

47:57

I left. And I know people listening are like, have be

47:59

nice to

47:59

people with children?

48:02

No.

48:03

No. No. I didn't fuck

48:05

you. I didn't make

48:06

them kids and also having children

48:08

does not give you liberty to

48:12

be rude. Like, I know

48:14

I joke about kids crying on planes and we

48:16

should put them under the plane or an

48:18

overhead bins. I stand by

48:20

it. But, like, You don't have to be

48:22

rude with your You can say, excuse me. I know you're exhausted and tired, but that doesn't mean

48:24

you get to be rude. Yeah.

48:27

yeah I

48:28

hear that.

48:29

I

48:32

actually want to get in the fight with one of

48:34

my neighbors, but I'm not going to. Yes.

48:38

I'll come. Yes. You

48:38

could fight my

48:39

neighbor. Okay. So there's

48:42

I

48:42

have a tree that is

48:46

big. and it overarches the street.

48:50

And I guess leaves blow

48:52

onto some like, the

48:54

person across street's property.

48:56

Mhmm. But the tree itself is not

48:58

over the property line.

49:00

And this, like, ninety

49:02

year old woman not comes

49:04

in she

49:05

sweeps, literally sweeps the

49:07

street, doesn't have to, not her

49:08

job. That's the job of the city. But she

49:10

gets her room out, sleeps the

49:13

street, And

49:14

she's like, I'm too old to be doing this. And I wanna be like, you don't have to

49:16

do it. No one asks me too. It's the

49:19

street. And then she's like, believes

49:22

always go on to my property.

49:24

And last time I saw

49:26

her, I was like, oh, I'll talk to the

49:28

tree trimmers. I'm not going to, but I just said

49:31

that. So she can stop

49:33

talking to me. And

49:35

and then the next morning,

49:37

I go to my car I

49:39

go to the garage and there's a pile of

49:41

leaves in front of the door. And I was

49:43

like, that's so weird to, like, come

49:45

out of someone's trash can or

49:47

something? Like, it it was like, it's such a perfect pile. How did

49:49

that happen? And then I

49:51

look at the ring camera

49:54

footage. This

49:55

criminal swept

49:58

up

49:59

this hoodlum

50:02

swept up the leaves. in her

50:05

room and then truck them at the my garage

50:07

door. And then, she brushed up

50:09

another pile and threw it

50:11

over my fence. And

50:14

I didn't notice that one because they're leaves, because

50:16

I was outside. And I was

50:18

like, well, leaves are everywhere. Why

50:22

oh, I wouldn't mind. notice that.

50:24

God. But I

50:24

did notice the pile, and I was

50:27

like,

50:27

that's a perfect pile. Why is that there?

50:29

It's because this old lady they're the

50:31

leaves back at my

50:33

house. Oh,

50:33

my

50:34

god. I

50:36

mean, I would be like, throw

50:39

the leaves back in her house, but no. No.

50:41

No. No. No. No. No.

50:44

i think I think

50:46

When you see her next, you go, do

50:48

you wanna see something?

50:50

And then show her the

50:51

footage and

50:54

go Do

50:55

you need a hobby or something --

50:57

Mhmm. -- to keep you busy

50:59

and not doing this? Because,

51:02

ma'am, grow up.

51:04

I know. you

51:04

don't have enough time to grow up because you're so old, and

51:06

you might die being so

51:09

immature, but grow the fuck up and

51:11

get where it's

51:14

out side. It's

51:15

outside. Yeah. You should do

51:16

a desert if you don't get started

51:19

by trees. I cannot believe.

51:22

that

51:23

you have footage of an old woman,

51:25

rubbing some cool heat pressure. It's

51:27

really crazy. I can.

51:29

I believe it.

51:32

Jordan,

51:33

do you have a suggestion? Yeah. Do you have a suggestion?

51:35

You should take those pile of leaves and

51:37

make a

51:38

wreath

51:40

for her. Mhmm. And then go to the house and then be

51:42

like, I mean this for you with the

51:44

leaves that you dumped into

51:47

my yard. started.

51:52

That's so funny. funny. I

51:54

do have one of the cameras and be

51:56

like, I

51:56

can see you. Just

51:58

so you know. In case you think this is the thing you could

51:59

do weekly, I

52:01

can see. Mhmm. That's why

52:03

I didn't catch a lady. Truly

52:05

knock on her

52:08

door. honestly bring her a little gift. Like, bring

52:10

her a little trinket. Like, go to

52:12

go to marshalls and find, like,

52:14

I don't know, like, a

52:17

leaf dish, like a ceramic leaf dish wrapping up.

52:19

Be like,

52:21

hey, we're neighbors.

52:22

we're neighbors I thought about our

52:24

talk that we had.

52:26

Here's a gift. I'm sorry about the

52:28

leaves, but also here's the footage of

52:31

you being so rude. And

52:33

if you would like to continue doing

52:35

that, I know you're doing that and

52:37

you're being weird. I honestly would show

52:39

her the footage of herself and be like, look how

52:41

dumb you look. You could be doing

52:43

anything else. Quite ridiculous. And I'm also like, who do you belong to?

52:45

Where are your kids? Why do my mom? I

52:48

was like, roaming

52:50

the streets, throwing the leaves at people's homes, I'd

52:52

be like, we gotta put you somewhere. We gotta

52:54

put you in the home. You can't be

52:57

doing well. No. You're

52:59

not doing well. I have to get cameras

53:02

because my

53:04

neighbor keeps putting their garbage

53:06

in my garbage can. And

53:11

I caught them one time.

53:13

I was just looking out the window

53:15

randomly, and I watched him

53:17

look both ways. scurry across the street, look both

53:19

ways again, and then put a bunch of shit in my

53:21

trash can. And then he

53:24

scurried

53:24

back into his home.

53:27

Are his cans,

53:28

like, overflowing? Does he have, like, tools

53:30

track? No. And it was I

53:32

think it was the day after pickup. Arun.

53:36

Yeah. So I was like

53:38

and then he has two trash cans.

53:41

Sometimes be two trash kans

53:43

that. So, like, they have the room, they have the

53:45

space, they can't. And I

53:47

I want to get cameras well,

53:49

I need cameras anyway because,

53:51

you know, But specifically, to point out my trash

53:54

cans to be like, can you not?

53:56

Yeah. Can you

53:56

can you just not?

53:59

Oof, do you

53:59

also need, like, walk up your trash

54:02

cans? It's annoying.

54:04

That's yeah. That's so annoying.

54:07

You could wear a sticker

54:09

on the cand candor on camera. You're

54:11

on camera. You're on

54:14

camera. Jordan.

54:17

Jordan loved that, and

54:19

I have been recording.

54:20

Yeah. I mean, I

54:22

might sort of fight with them. I don't

54:25

know. He has seen my breasts.

54:27

So

54:27

I don't know how well

54:29

that will go. I was wearing a

54:31

crop top,

54:32

and I stretched, and then he went, good

54:34

morning. And I was like, good morning.

54:37

I in room, and I stretched in front of the mirror, and I was

54:40

like, oh, he saw my

54:42

ditties. That's even

54:44

more

54:44

reason for him to be respectful. You

54:45

get to the show. I

54:47

gave him his diagnosis. intimately.

54:50

He does know me

54:53

intimately. What a jury shouldn't be

54:55

taking advantage of that. no.

54:58

Boy, oh,

54:58

boy. How

54:59

wild? Everything is wild. So,

55:02

yeah, if you wanna start a fight,

55:04

just point out the

55:06

egregious thing. That's what

55:06

I did at the Hollywood Bowl. I'll talk about it the rest of my life. Those

55:08

fucking kids, that loud woman. Tom, what's

55:10

up? Seems like most of your

55:12

fights are

55:13

with kids. They're like, kids

55:15

are somehow involved. Well, control

55:17

your fucking kids. Guess what? I

55:19

was a very well behaved child.

55:22

If you could imagine, I truly

55:24

was in public. Very well

55:26

behaved. Buying closed doors, a

55:28

lunatic. Well, my mother would just be like she there

55:30

was a look she gave me, and I'd be like,

55:32

oh, no. I don't I don't I

55:34

don't want the wrath of what's gonna happen if I don't behave. Same with my mom.

55:36

Yeah. You gotta develop that look so your

55:38

kids know to zip it

55:41

up in public. zip

55:43

it. Should we do

55:45

one

55:45

more? Okay. Let's do one

55:47

more. Hi,

55:47

Nicole and sister. My

55:50

husband and I love listening to the podcast together. It really

55:53

makes us tea. We've been together for

55:55

almost a

55:55

decade now. And in

55:58

that time, I've gotten to know all his laughs. He's got a genuine

55:59

laugh and his face crinkles up and it comes from

56:02

his belly. When he's on a call with

56:04

the clients more from

56:06

his chest, when he completely

56:08

loses it, he'll cry. When he

56:10

laughs, when we're in bed at night, when he's on his

56:12

phone, he tries to be quiet, but his laughter

56:14

shakes the mattress. would

56:16

describe each other's laugh? Which one is

56:18

your favorite? Can you tell them they're laughing to be

56:20

polite versus laughing

56:22

for real? love your lots

56:24

listening to to you both flap with

56:26

each other always brightens my

56:28

day. Thank you for all you do. Oh,

56:30

that's nice. Oh,

56:32

that's nice.

56:32

the have a

56:34

laugh where

56:35

you know it's

56:38

like you shouldn't be laughing

56:40

at it. like, when

56:42

it's like a bad lap

56:43

versus like, oh, boy,

56:46

we shouldn't be laughing at this. It's kind of

56:47

like a deep, like, Like,

56:50

you're, like, trying

56:52

to stop yourself,

56:54

but it keeps coming out.

56:57

you have a lap that's like

57:00

It's like very high pitched.

57:02

I don't know if I can do it.

57:04

when something's, like,

57:05

really really funny, you, like, close your eyes

57:07

too,

57:07

where sometimes there's a laugh where

57:09

nothing comes out. And you're

57:12

just, like, Kinda

57:13

like that.

57:16

And you're smiling really hard and

57:18

your eyes are like, they're basically closed.

57:20

And then sometimes you have

57:23

it starts like, and then

57:25

it goes up high. And

57:32

then there was a time where

57:34

we were both trying hard not

57:36

to laugh. It was during

57:38

a talk back after a

57:40

play, and this whole lady

57:42

was walking around. Like

57:44

a goose.

57:44

taking questions. Just, like, shut, like, I can't

57:46

I you had to be it's so

57:49

hard to describe and that you

57:51

were like, hey.

57:52

And I

57:54

was just like, yes. There's

57:59

several. And you

58:02

were And

58:06

yeah. Yeah.

58:08

Yeah. And you don't do

58:11

a polite laugh. Yeah. I just wanna

58:13

laugh. Yeah. I just have

58:16

a polite laugh, where

58:20

I go. Yeah.

58:22

It's like it's more like a

58:24

You're like you're you're considering it.

58:26

You're considering the mattress pants. It

58:30

was I was it was on camera. This lady told a joke,

58:32

and I went, and nobody liked

58:34

it. She went, oh, I guess nobody liked

58:36

it. And I was like, wanna be

58:38

frank. I truly just didn't understand it. And then she explained it and

58:40

I said, oh, okay. I get it. Would you like

58:42

to do it again? And she was like, yes. And

58:45

I was like, oh, thanks. And

58:47

then she told again, I went.

58:49

And I hope they don't keep

58:51

it in because it's

58:52

very clear that I was, like,

58:55

You needed to tell him. You

58:57

needed to keep the whole fake.

59:00

because it

59:00

the end is very

59:01

funny if you know that she had to

59:03

explain it to you. That's

59:06

funny. Hey. If

59:08

you want a t, he, he, he? No. If

59:10

you have a question,

59:13

you can email share

59:15

at gmail dot com or

59:18

there's a

59:18

number 4246457003

59:21

and guess what? You can leave

59:23

a or you can text. We also

59:26

have merch

59:26

at pods lag dot com slash

59:29

best friends. Lastly, Don't

59:31

forget to rate, review,

59:34

and subscribe. That's the

59:36

easiest way to support

59:38

this now. Hooray. Hooray.

59:41

We love you

59:44

for listening to us It

59:47

is a fun. Oh my god.

59:50

September ninth was when American

59:52

Jigolo came out and I

59:54

didn't watch That's,

59:56

like, so long ago by the time

59:57

this I think that's

59:59

that. I

1:00:04

have I don't want it. It's so exciting, Roxy. Alright.

1:00:06

Let's give it about it, but you can watch

1:00:07

it. I gotta watch

1:00:10

it. Bye.

1:00:14

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