Welcome to Beyond36 the podcast that asks the question that sparks connection!

In this episode I reveal the best gift of all!This is episode 005! It’s a special edition! How do you celebrate your anniversary? A nice dinner, tickets to a show? Maybe a trip? A sparkly gift? All of those items work and are grand ways to commemorate your relationship. But how do you fill the time during the dinner? Intermission during the show? The journey to your destination? The chat before or after the gift? I suggest you fill it with reflections of the best times the two of you have had together and very specific compliments.

An anniversary is one of the few times in our busy modern lives where a couple is encouraged to notice where we have have been and where we are going. Woe to the spouse who blindly or robotically chooses a gift. If my love where to buy me a Prada bag I would feel like she or he didn’t know me at all. It’s a great gift for many, but not for me.

Every human being has an innate and burning desire to be witnessed but not fixed. I suggest that on your anniversary you bare witness to your favorite experience with your partner. Sit eye to eye and let your heart beam into your beloved’s heart. Maybe even imagine a thick red velvet cord of connectivity going from your heart to your dear one’s heart. Softly and lovingly gaze into your partner’s eyes and verbally paint a picture of a time where you felt extraordinarily in love and maybe even a little in awe of your partner. Maybe you were at a work function and you noticed your spouse moving through the room of strangers with ease. Charming people left and right. Maybe you remember chuckling to yourself about how lucky you are to go home with that person. Now, tell your partner why this experience stands out for you. Maybe it’s because at this function you had a chance to see so many of your beloved’s best qualities on the warmth, intelligence and grace. Now, tell your partner the core reason that gives your relationship, life and vitality.

Remember the quote “Words create worlds.” As you celebrate your anniversary use your words to highlight the best parts of your world because what we focus on grows. Here’s another powerful quote from the world of Appreciative Inquiry -- by Sue Hammond, “People have more confidence and comfort in the journey to the future (the unknown) when they carry forward parts of the past (the known). If we carry parts of the past forward, they should be what is best about the past.” Let your anniversary be an opportunity for you to carry the best of your past into the future. Give your partner the best gift of all -- the feeling of being seen, appreciated and exquisitely connected. That’s what we are all searching for. Science tells us that every addiction known to humankind is actually an lose/lose quest for connection.

So, connect to your partner and kids, as much as possible. In episode 004 we talk about the importance of turning toward your partner when they make a bid for connection. In episode 003 we talk about how important it is to make sure that the listener actually heard what was said. In episode 002 we discuss how to be a good listener and in episode 001 I share how important it is to check the timing before beginning a conversation. I hope you will put all of these tips together and infuse your anniversary conversations and every intentional conversation you have with your beloved with heart, loving witnessing, appreciation and compassion! May your loving energy ripple out into your family, your community and all of our world. In this is way we multiply the sweetness of life and love. Schedule an in-person or virtual conversation of the heart for the 2 of you with Kim’s coaching by visiting www.OurElegantCeremony.com and clicking the scheduling button on the top right corner. You will be glad that you did!I am Kim Kirkley of Beyond36 encouraging you to ask the question that sparks connection, everyday!