0:00

Hey BA fam, this episode is sponsored

0:02

by State Farm. Are you a small

0:04

business owner looking for insurance that fits

0:06

your needs and budget? Look no further

0:08

than State Farm. State Farm

0:11

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it comes to small business insurance, State Farm

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a plan that fits your needs and your budget.

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State Farm is there. Talk to your local agent

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today. It's

0:57

time for the BA QA. Aye,

0:59

the BA QA, what you say?

1:02

What you say? Aye, the BA QA, the

1:04

BA QA, Aye. Hey

1:07

beautiful girl. Hi.

1:12

I realize we

1:14

were both like singing but like looking down like. Well

1:18

I wasn't singing so much. I was

1:20

supporting you. The supportive bop. I

1:22

love the supportive black girl bop. Okay

1:25

so we got a nice

1:27

chunky email from Anonymous but we're going to

1:29

call her. Pregnant

1:33

and needing a raise. Pregnant

1:35

Penny. Pregnant Penny. Okay pregnant

1:37

Penny says hi Mandy and Tiffany.

1:40

This is pregnant and needing a raise aka pregnant Penny.

1:42

We're calling you that girl. First of all, I

1:45

would like to say I love your podcast and

1:47

have been a devoted listener since discovering the podcast

1:49

last year. We love that. She's

1:52

writing for the first time for some

1:54

career advice. She's been with

1:56

the same company for many years and held just

1:59

a bunch. at different positions on

2:01

different projects, projects. So

2:04

earlier this year, she transitioned to a

2:06

new role. And although her previous role

2:08

was comfortable, she sought this new

2:10

position out because she

2:12

wanted more of a challenge and

2:14

knew that she was capable, yes,

2:16

capable queen, of contributing more than

2:19

what she was in her previous

2:21

role. So when transitioning, she was

2:23

just given her normal 5% merit

2:25

increase. After being

2:27

in that role for three months, the project

2:30

experienced some funding challenges, especially this is

2:32

last year, I get it, because this

2:34

is what's happening. With

2:37

the contract, and they were forced to make

2:39

some personnel cuts. So they let go of

2:42

some people. They got rid of the project

2:44

lead, her supervisor, and put her

2:46

in his role. Okay. And

2:49

she accepted without asking for more

2:51

money because she felt lucky that

2:53

she still had a job with

2:55

some of her colleagues being moved

2:57

to other projects or let go altogether. Me

3:00

and Mandy kind of read this prior. We both said, at that

3:02

same time, like not asking for more money during that time. After

3:05

being in this project lead position

3:07

for a month or so, another project

3:09

lead resigned. And then she

3:11

was asked to be an intern project

3:13

lead for that project as well. And

3:15

they are looking for a permanent replacement.

3:18

Now she's leading two projects, and there's

3:20

no clear timeframe of when the replacement

3:22

for the second project will come. That's

3:24

a lot for part one. Mandy, you going to

3:27

do part two? Yeah,

3:29

I would love to do part two. So part one,

3:31

she sets us up with like, what's happening at work

3:33

right now. But here's real life. So she says with

3:35

the increased responsibility and

3:37

extra workload, I want to

3:39

ask for a raise, but I'm not sure how. I'm

3:42

not sure or how to do so.

3:44

I'm not, oh, she says, I want

3:46

to ask for a raise, but I'm not sure how to do so.

3:49

I'm pregnant with my second child due in November.

3:51

I have a first child is 15 months. So

3:54

I'm going to have two under two with

3:56

daycare being so expensive, $2,300 per child. child

4:01

and DC living expenses so high, my current

4:03

salary of $139,000 just won't cut it even

4:07

though I don't have any debt, car

4:10

payments, student loans, etc. So without

4:12

debt, 139 is not cutting it. I'm

4:14

nervous about asking for a raise because

4:16

I know that I'll also have to

4:18

tell them I'm pregnant as

4:20

well as, and will soon be

4:22

taking three months of maternity leave. Please advise

4:24

on how I should go about this conversation.

4:27

When asking for a raise, should I be upfront

4:29

and tell my manager that I'm also pregnant and

4:31

will be taking maternity leave or try

4:33

to secure the raise and then drop the

4:35

bomb that I'm pregnant afterwards? Or

4:37

should I wait a little longer to see if they bring

4:40

on a replacement soon? Oh, there's

4:42

a lot of G's and H's of

4:44

this. I'm not sure. All I know

4:46

is that I need more money to

4:49

be able to comfortably support my growing

4:51

family. Pregnant

4:53

penny. There was so much

4:55

here. Okay. I'm so glad that we're answering your

4:57

questions soon after you submitted it because I think

5:00

we can be a lot of help. Yes.

5:03

Okay. This is such

5:05

a common scenario. I just want to say first and

5:07

foremost that often the opportunities

5:10

for advancement come not in the traditional

5:12

sense of like, you are ready. Here's

5:14

your promotion. It's more like, oh shit,

5:16

they just quit. Or like, oh no,

5:18

they got let go. And now we

5:20

got to like scramble and move things

5:23

around. And you were positioned well, for

5:26

whatever reason they kept you. So you

5:28

were positioned well to pick up the

5:31

mantle and pick up this additional responsibility and

5:33

show what you're capable of. I

5:35

too have benefited from someone else's

5:38

getting left, getting fired. And

5:42

you don't have to feel any ounce of guilt

5:44

about it. And I also completely understand why you

5:46

would feel because of the way that they were

5:48

let protective and like,

5:50

you just want to, let's not make

5:53

too much noise about this because it could be me

5:55

next. That's completely natural.

5:58

That being said. There was an

6:00

opportunity for you to ask for more at

6:03

the time and you

6:05

haven't, but you have another opportunity

6:07

anytime you choose to have one.

6:10

My biggest concern right now, and I want you to

6:12

like really understand this is you do not have to

6:14

tell them that you're pregnant. In fact, don't do it.

6:16

It's none of their business. It has nothing to do

6:18

with why you deserve a promotion. And

6:20

I was a little concerned because she said like,

6:23

I am worried because I know

6:25

I will also have to tell

6:27

them that I'm pregnant. Says who?

6:30

Pregnant pen because it's not required.

6:34

And honestly, it doesn't have anything to

6:36

do with the fact that you have

6:38

a bigger title, more responsibility, and

6:40

do not underestimate your leverage

6:43

right here because they need you.

6:46

And in fact, they need you so much. You're the

6:48

only person they could think of turning to when the

6:50

other project lead left. But be

6:53

cautious because one of the reasons they may be

6:55

turning to you is because, oh, turn to pregnant

6:57

pen. I'm not calling you that. Turned up, turned

6:59

to penny because she says,

7:02

yes, really fast. She hasn't asked too many questions.

7:04

She hasn't caused me too much degree. She's not

7:06

asking me to find more budget. And it's just

7:09

an easy person to saddle something. Just an easy

7:11

person to saddle with stuff. And

7:13

if you become that person and they don't

7:16

recognize that they need to like, you

7:18

know, come correct with how they're evaluating your

7:20

time. If you don't stand up for yourself,

7:22

then you will continue to be so

7:25

blessed with opportunities and additional workloads and

7:27

so trusted and given so much and

7:29

they couldn't bear to lose you ever,

7:31

but they will not be actually matching

7:33

that with dollars, which

7:36

is what you want at the end of the day, right? Like you

7:38

said, you got bills to pay. Hey

7:42

BA fam, this episode is sponsored by

7:44

State Farm. Are you a small business

7:46

owner looking for insurance that fits your

7:48

needs and budget? Look no further than

7:50

State Farm. State Farm agents

7:53

are not just insurance providers. They're also

7:55

small business owners who live and work

7:57

right here in your community. They

7:59

understand. the unique challenges of running

8:01

and protecting a small business. When it

8:03

comes to small business insurance, State Farm

8:06

knows what it takes. Create

8:08

a plan that fits your needs

8:10

and your budget. State Farm agents

8:12

are ready to help you choose

8:14

personalized policies that truly understand your

8:16

business. Ensure your small

8:18

business with a fellow small business owner.

8:20

Talk to a State Farm agent today

8:23

and get started on personalized small business

8:25

insurance that fits your needs. Like

8:28

a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Talk

8:30

to your local agent today. Ryan

8:34

Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. With the price

8:36

of just about everything going up during inflation,

8:38

we thought we'd bring our prices down. To

8:41

help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer,

8:43

which is apparently a thing. Mint Mobile Unlimited

8:46

Premium Wireless. How do you get 30, 30

8:57

uhh, you. Well,

9:09

often in HR, like they will have like, it's

9:11

not even something you have to tell your manager.

9:13

Like you can ask HR, hey, what are the

9:15

policies around parental leave? And is there

9:17

any, you know, details you can share with me?

9:20

And they may say that you have to fill

9:22

out this form and, you know, submit it such

9:24

and such. But like, let's say you have no

9:26

idea that you're pregnant and you're like on that

9:28

TLC show, I didn't know I was pregnant. And

9:31

all of a sudden, like you give birth. Well,

9:33

you're going to need to take maternity leave, like

9:35

parental leave at that time. And whether

9:37

or not you gave them enough notice or not,

9:39

it may not even matter. Federal

9:42

Medical Family Medical Leave Act,

9:45

which is the federal law, says that your job

9:48

must be saved for you for 12 weeks. Doesn't mean

9:50

they have to pay you, but your

9:52

job is protected if

9:54

you have a child, you

9:57

know, while you're employed. I

10:00

think at the same time,

10:02

that's the law, but you also

10:04

want to be considerate. There's

10:07

ways of being considerate for your own

10:09

absence that have nothing to do with

10:11

telling them. You could

10:13

do some pre-planning on your own,

10:15

like, okay, I'm going to be

10:17

on that leave. I'm a leader

10:19

now. So here's a three-month plan.

10:21

I'm assuming it's three months. Maybe you have less

10:23

or more parental leave, but

10:26

you can do a lot to lay the groundwork

10:28

for your absence in advance. And it doesn't have

10:30

to be like, you know, hey,

10:32

I'm going on my show. You better figure

10:34

this stuff out. It's a good opportunity for

10:36

you to show leadership and start planning for

10:38

your own absence and start deputizing

10:41

people. And this is a difficult time

10:43

for the company, but that doesn't

10:45

mean that your life has to stop. It

10:47

means that you can find other people to

10:49

delegate to or find out what resources you

10:52

need so that things can get covered

10:54

while you're out. They've told you

10:56

that they want you to lead these projects. So lead them by

10:59

figuring out the plan for you being gone

11:01

for a few months. I'm

11:04

trying to think on the employer side, like, sometimes,

11:09

I mean, I get it why she didn't ask for

11:11

the raise because it was like,

11:13

yikes, the contract was cut. So there's no

11:15

money. I've been there where someone has deserved

11:18

the raise because of the work, but

11:20

there's just not any money. You know,

11:23

like, I've already done all the cuts, you know,

11:25

I remember at one point I was my

11:27

salary, I cut my salary in half. I

11:29

was making half of what everybody else was

11:31

making intentionally just to try to make, you

11:34

know, ends meet. And I was like, Oh my gosh,

11:36

this person does deserve a raise, but I just, we

11:39

don't have it. So I don't know.

11:41

Sometimes I guess, I mean,

11:44

I don't know. She doesn't know they

11:46

don't have it if she doesn't ask.

11:48

That's true. And if you fired salaried

11:50

employees, which it sounds like there's budget,

11:52

that headcount, like that money, if you

11:54

choose to allocate it toward labor, there

11:56

can be. Sometimes you fire because you

11:58

actually in a deficit. it. Like, you know,

12:01

meaning like, it's not like, oh, I fired and I

12:03

have extra $100,000 a year. It's like, no, I was

12:05

over $100,000. And so I

12:08

fired to get myself. Yeah. So

12:10

I don't know. I mean, to many point,

12:12

it doesn't all that to say, I've never been mad

12:14

an employee asking me for a raise, they ought to.

12:16

And I told them, I know this is really hard.

12:18

I'm proud of you for saying it. But let me

12:21

show you how we don't have no money. But

12:23

we worked it out. You know, y'all already worked it

12:25

out by giving them like a profit share because but

12:27

I don't know that I would come up with a profit

12:29

share plan had they not asked for the

12:32

raise, it forced me to be creative. So to

12:34

Mandy's point, you know, because

12:36

I saw so much value my

12:38

employees, I figured something out. So

12:40

yes, asking, but knowing that like,

12:42

you know, not everybody's just hoarding money. Sometimes it

12:45

is like, you know, I

12:47

mean, not these big companies, they're all liars. She

12:49

just needs the confidence to ask. And at least even

12:51

if the answer is no, the message is going to

12:53

be clear. And that's what I was trying to get

12:56

out earlier when I was talking about how be careful

12:58

not showing up for yourself because you

13:00

will become you know, every house has that junk table

13:02

or the junk drawer where you just kind of throw

13:04

stuff. Because Oh, well, it's over

13:06

there. They don't complain. That's what you can

13:08

become. And it happens to women so often,

13:11

because we are so expected to

13:13

take on additional unpaid work all the time. So

13:17

people are really comfortable taking advantage of us

13:19

for our time. And like, we are also

13:21

conditioned to just enjoy it to be

13:23

needed. I love to support be a team

13:25

player. Anyhow, your playing

13:27

yourself, if you don't stand

13:30

up and say, okay, I'm given these

13:32

additional responsibilities. So when can we talk

13:34

about compensation and how that'll be reflected?

13:36

And if it's not directly

13:38

able to be reflected in your compensation, then

13:40

what about a discretionary

13:43

fund or budget that you can use to

13:46

hire your own contractors to outsource things

13:48

by tools or software that could help you do your job

13:50

a little bit better. You

13:52

just want to stand up for what you

13:54

need within reason, okay, so that they don't

13:57

get the message that you're not going to complain or

13:59

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15:02

The question about like strategically, she has sort of

15:04

two or three things. She wants the raise. She

15:08

also has the news about being pregnant and needing to

15:10

go on maternity leave. And she also has the second

15:12

project that they foisted upon her. I know. So

15:15

if I were going in order, I would

15:17

say focus first on the raise and the

15:19

compensation for the job that you have now.

15:22

The second project, to

15:24

me, that comes in

15:27

the same, I think, the same conversation

15:29

as the maternity leave, because

15:32

that can be a justification for why, you

15:34

know, I think for the long-term good of

15:36

this project, it's better to maybe

15:39

find someone else to delegate this to,

15:41

or I can be on this

15:43

project for the next few months. But you know

15:45

what that project timeline is. And if it's whether

15:48

or not you feel like it's okay for you

15:50

to sort of last minute or not so

15:53

last minute, but is

15:55

the project going to be completely thrown off the rails if you

15:57

were to leave for a few months? Because

16:00

if that's true, then the responsible thing is to prepare

16:02

for that and let them know. I'm

16:04

happy to take this on, but we need

16:06

some sort of transition plan because

16:09

I'm not going to be available post like

16:11

November or whenever you're having

16:13

the baby. But I would

16:15

say like get the title and the compensation

16:18

squared away for your current role

16:20

first, and then the other stuff can

16:22

come after. And

16:24

I would definitely not mention your pregnancy.

16:28

It shouldn't be a part of the calculation. I

16:30

know that Tiff, you employ a lot of women, so you

16:33

probably have been in that position. So I can see your

16:35

face being like, but it's nice to tell us in advance.

16:37

Well, I mean, I get it. Everybody's not. Honestly,

16:40

I haven't really been handled. No, I mean, I

16:42

remember there was a young, young woman on our

16:44

team when she told us she was like, we

16:47

had just hired her and she sounded nervous to tell

16:49

me, but I was like, and I knew she

16:51

was nervous. So I made sure to be

16:53

like, oh my God, that's so great. Congratulations.

16:56

We're going to be like, girl, we're going to focus on the blessing here and we'll

16:58

figure the rest of the stuff out. And

17:00

so we did. We've had, I'm trying to think how

17:02

many women on my team had left

17:04

for maternity leave, at least two or three.

17:09

And so we navigated and we managed. And it was

17:11

like, for me, it's nice to know ahead of

17:13

time because then we, you know, no one

17:15

has come back to no job. This just has not happened. You've

17:17

come back and, you know, we

17:19

were like, yay, we have more helping hands.

17:21

We just navigate and manage around you. Yeah.

17:25

But it taught me to also create like a

17:27

buddy system, which we still use today, where is

17:30

there someone on the job that may

17:32

could do your job at least at a C, at

17:34

a C plus if you're not here, you know? So

17:36

it allows you to go on vacation and stop checking

17:39

your slack. It allows you to, you know

17:41

what I mean? Because that worried me. I saw a lot

17:43

of people were still working when they shouldn't be working because

17:45

they're like, if I don't do it, it's just going to

17:47

pile up. And I'm like, there's always someone on a team

17:49

that could do your job at least to a C plus

17:51

so you can come back to be like, okay, it's not

17:53

so crazy when I've come back. So yeah.

17:55

So I mean, but you know, you're, you know, that's me and

17:57

how we navigate with my team. You know, you're, you know,

17:59

you're your company and like how accommodating

18:02

they are. But if

18:04

you have some questions and you want

18:06

to ask us, you can, oh wait,

18:08

we have more questions? I don't think

18:11

we did our disclaimer. I

18:13

was just about to do that. I

18:15

was about to do that. Before we

18:17

get sued, hurry. So if

18:20

you have some questions, we'd

18:22

love to answer them, but here's the

18:24

thing. We're not your mother, not your

18:27

father, not your sister, but your friend.

18:29

We're not your doctor, your attorney, your

18:31

financial advisor, your any of

18:33

the people that you pay for advice, honey. So

18:35

what you're gonna do is you're

18:37

going to listen to the podcast with the smallest

18:39

of smallest of grains of salt. And

18:42

then you're gonna mosey on over to the people that you

18:44

do pay for professional advice. And you're going to do what

18:46

they say. And you might mention what we say, but you're

18:48

gonna do what they say. And

18:50

you're not gonna sue us because I didn't

18:52

tell you to do that, right? Me and

18:54

Mandy was just like, this is what we think, but

18:57

child, what do we know? We're just two smart, cute

18:59

brown girls on a podcast

19:01

just talking, okay? Randomly just showed up

19:03

one day and there was a microphone

19:05

here and people wanted to know what

19:07

we think. I mean, but we're not

19:09

your advisors, honey. Okay, so

19:11

take that disclaimer. But if you do

19:13

have questions, please, please, please go on

19:16

over to brownambitionpodcast.com

19:22

and there is a contact us button there, but we

19:24

prefer Brown Ambition Podcast on IG, slide into

19:26

the DMs, that's our favorite place to

19:28

find them. Or you

19:30

can email us if you're a boomer,

19:32

no, I'm just joking, at

19:35

brownambitionpodcast.com. Be

19:38

careful now, Gen Xers are the new boomers. I

19:40

know, I'm a boomer, I don't even care. No,

19:42

I'm a Gen Xer, but still. I don't care, I

19:44

email, so. Yeah. All

19:47

right, MBA fam, thank you for listening. We'll

19:49

see you guys Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Monday,

19:52

Wednesday, Friday, bye. Hey

19:57

guys, welcome to the. Candy

20:00

Valentino Show. I'm Candy Valentino. I was

20:02

a founder before I could legally order

20:04

a drink. And for more than two

20:07

and a half decades, I've built, scaled,

20:09

acquired, and exited multiple businesses in diverse

20:11

industries. Now my goal is to

20:13

help you by sharing the knowledge that I've learned,

20:15

the mistakes that I've made, and the wisdom

20:17

that I've developed over my journey. Buy

20:20

weekly episodes every Monday and

20:22

Thursday. The Candy Valentino Show,

20:24

wherever you listen.