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bad part 256. 256.

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You like this. You like this,

0:57

don't you? If you're still listening

1:00

to us on

1:02

episode 256, then you like this. You like

1:05

this. That's something

1:07

a bit sexy about that, and maybe not in a

1:09

good way. How

1:11

can anything be sexy in a bad way?

1:13

Is that possible? Yeah, I think so. I

1:16

mean sexy in the sense of like

1:19

intent or notionally, as opposed to by

1:21

definition appealing. Okay,

1:24

okay. Not sexy in quality,

1:26

sexy in intent. I see what you're

1:28

saying. Intent and in presumption. Ah

1:32

yes, that can be unpleasant, I

1:34

understand. Yeah, like someone dancing around going,

1:37

oh, you like this. Like there's a

1:39

bit of that today. Well,

1:45

I like being on holiday Pierre. We're recording this

1:47

a little early. Yeah. Because when

1:51

this comes out, I will be in the

1:55

Canary Islands. And you've

1:57

never been. With my glues. In

2:00

free. With my

2:03

Us yeah of people said according to go

2:05

fence ago Glidden Freeze I've according to the

2:07

last five minutes of my life have. Yep,

2:10

I'm offered my gluten free to

2:12

the Canary Islands nerve into the

2:14

Canary Islands Before that. Spanish.

2:17

Populated African islands, Was

2:21

Spanish speaking African islands? Populated.

2:24

By drunk Brits? yeah, and

2:26

some Germans I think. Okay,

2:30

I think the Germans and the Brits compete for

2:32

who can go to Spain and drink the most.

2:35

Was. There as a losing battle.

2:39

Germans? Yeah, I've I would think so,

2:41

but I don't think the Germans have

2:43

counted on just how much the British

2:46

hate themselves and allies were just need

2:48

to be hot. I'm

2:51

as I'm speaking on the alcohol front specifically. oh

2:53

yeah totally. but it like that they like that

2:55

at home as well. Yeah. It's.

2:57

Here I am looking forward to

2:59

traveling to read. Very different climate,

3:01

but staying in the same time

3:03

zone. This is something a British

3:05

person gets a d very much

3:08

because there is essentially nothing directly

3:10

south of us yes, that's true,

3:12

or South Africa's only one hour

3:14

difference as right, At. Weird

3:16

yeah can around and to think it's the

3:18

same. Or maybe one hour. Yeah.

3:22

Is arrow is a weird dotted line. Does

3:24

it come across out into the sea, off

3:26

to Spain and and encompass the Canary Islands?

3:28

Yes, I think it does do that that.

3:30

This is annoying, say about times on so

3:32

they haven't done it with lines, they've done

3:35

it on vibe. Yeah.

3:37

Is is that there's no reason for Paris not to be in

3:39

the same time zone. It's

3:42

to are we. Ireland

3:45

same as Us? Yeah, so the

3:47

or the British Isles the only.

3:50

Place. To with Gmt

3:52

zero. Who. In

3:54

Europe. He. Iceland must be

3:56

same as us. eyes

4:00

surely surely

4:07

you are right is icin since

4:09

nineteen sixty eight icin has been in the

4:12

grand mean time zone the Beatles did it

4:16

that was the Beatles this we just feel like you should

4:18

be in the same time zone as us doesn't

4:21

make sense for you to then they

4:23

went for the Beatles for your ringo

4:25

we will change all the clocks okay

4:28

some good i'm

4:30

going to uh... type

4:33

countries in g

4:36

m he times and bring

4:38

about an hour our site

4:41

just just uh... google images maps now

4:45

now i'm going to do this way so

4:47

our our our bet is

4:50

uk the republic of

4:52

island and iceland yeah three

4:55

countries in g m t do

4:57

we have any more guessing western

4:59

salah i

5:02

don't know if it's officially a country but western

5:05

sahara seriously

5:07

only thought i was far west we are

5:09

that's a good one gambit

5:14

okay i'm uh...

5:17

i feel like that they are one of

5:19

two feel like they'd state plus one yeah

5:21

i mean it's true time might my bet

5:24

is uk island as well as

5:28

well as a case appears out there with

5:30

the zaas here we go countries

5:32

in g m t time zone war

5:36

you're kidding is

5:39

it just where words it's

5:42

as though ever fucking such that the guy that is

5:44

a picture of a gun that

5:46

picture but got the hell well

5:52

what is it what okay okay

5:58

so we're going to want you I'm

6:00

trying to figure out if you want to... You're

6:02

saying what? Greenwich Mean... Well... That's

6:05

one in time... Okay, so... Yes,

6:09

yes, yes. Greenwich Mean Time is defined in the

6:11

law of standard time for... I

6:15

think the Google images would have been better. Oh, okay,

6:17

here we go. Greenwich Mean Time is used as standard

6:19

time all year round in the following country. Yeah.

6:23

Bikini Faso, the Gambia,

6:25

Ghana, Guinea, Guinea Bissau,

6:28

Iceland, Ivory Coast,

6:30

Liberia, Mali, Mauritiana... Mali? Sahrawi

6:34

Arab Democratic Republic in brackets

6:36

disputed. Western Sahara. It sounds

6:39

like... Is that Western Sahara? Ah,

6:41

I see. I think it is. Wow,

6:44

are there anything with the Democratic Republic in the

6:46

name has anything disputed about it? That doesn't sound

6:49

right. Saint

6:51

Helena, Ascension and Tristan de

6:54

Cunha, Senegal, Sierra

6:56

Leone, Togo. So, there are

6:58

actually fucking loads. I was

7:00

right, Sahrawi, that's Western Sahara

7:02

as the dispute of territory,

7:04

yes. Yes.

7:08

Wow. Thank you. Wow,

7:10

well, I had a... Thank you, Model UN. But

7:15

also Canary Islands, Faroe

7:17

Islands, Portugal... Portugal.

7:21

Ireland, UK. Yeah, Portugal makes sense. Whoa,

7:23

okay. Slows,

7:25

fair enough. Yeah. So,

7:29

that would be an interesting travel show,

7:31

a man who refuses to deal with

7:33

jet lag. That's fun.

7:37

You're in Western Africa for a lot

7:39

of that show. Yeah, and why not? And

7:41

then Iceland, a real vibe shift. A

7:45

real vibe shift to go from Ghana to

7:47

Iceland. I wonder if that's a

7:49

journey many people have made. From

7:53

Ghana to Iceland. A What story?

8:02

There's gotta be upon their so we do herring

8:04

and gold. The

8:06

goes. The socialism. Is

8:09

haunting gonna to Isis? I'm gonna to

8:11

iceland that as a ghost haunting. People

8:14

go gonna to Iceland. That's

8:17

that's a good way to ruin a speech. If.

8:21

You're a politician and use use slightly odd

8:23

examples. It's gonna be so the acting people

8:25

are going to be too busy going where

8:27

did he say gonna in Iceland and the

8:29

not going to be listening to the next

8:31

ten things he said. Yeah.

8:36

Fell. We shall fight them in the

8:39

marshes. Yeah, Yeah. Yeah I

8:41

will fight them on the day

8:43

all ssssss did he say by

8:45

mind them in some clearings suffice

8:47

of in the buy you. A

8:50

three have by it. As

8:55

I that we have by use do it by

8:57

and then some. good waxy technically some pot, some

8:59

of the salt marshes and. He

9:01

loves yeah the ph levels of some of

9:04

the the soil you have a cel doesn't

9:06

seem like the right words as a citizen.

9:08

The done that sorry what was his I

9:10

am. Now. Sell, Sell. Sell.

9:13

Sell Yeah yeah. I've.

9:16

Come we were recording early

9:18

cause you're going to the

9:21

Canadiens. And. So I ever

9:23

I very recent f just come from doing

9:25

my other audio tokyo job which is the

9:27

Frank Skinner radio show. Yes,

9:30

An absolute Radio Am.

9:32

Absolutely. And we

9:35

would ask. A cheating on the spot consists of

9:37

yes, there is a threat, As

9:41

I am. We were

9:43

discussing something that we should discuss. It would

9:45

be remiss of us to ignore this. It's

9:47

as the Willie Wonka Glasgow. ah

9:50

of course the acid of

9:52

other the online sensation the

9:55

hit scotland's fire festival the

9:57

glasgow willie wonka experience So

10:01

fun, so funny. To

10:03

be clear... For people who don't

10:05

know, for people who are somehow

10:07

under a digital rock pier, how

10:09

would you describe this story? Shall

10:13

I describe it... I'll describe it

10:15

like it's a story as if I was one of the

10:17

customers. Like

10:21

the way it was experienced. So you're gonna roleplay?

10:23

Yeah, yeah, in real life. Yeah.

10:27

Oh right, that's good. One

10:29

of those immersive experiences. Some London based

10:31

companies come up to Glasgow and

10:34

they're doing like... It's like

10:36

Willy Wonka. They don't say Wonka because

10:39

obviously that gets sued. But yeah,

10:41

it looks good. It's in a warehouse and you get

10:44

your kids, get the weans around there. And

10:46

the website looks quite good.

10:49

It's all chocolate and that and there'll be like some,

10:52

you know, free sweets and that. And so

10:54

like people were like, oh, this would be good. And

10:56

it was Willy's chocolate experience is what it was

10:58

called. For

11:01

copyright reasons. And

11:03

it was Willy McDuff, the chocolatier and

11:05

his oopsie doodles. And

11:09

the whole thing it turned out was just generated

11:11

by AI and put on by this lunatic who

11:14

just thought that an AI generated script and an

11:16

AI generated website would be enough. And

11:18

then their parents paid 35 quid a

11:21

ticket. Which

11:23

is a lot. It's a lot. And

11:25

they showed up and it was a

11:27

sort of warehouse with like some sort

11:29

of like candy land props and

11:32

sort of a single banner and a table

11:34

with plastic cups of lemonade on and

11:36

every kid got one jelly bean. It's

11:39

a kind of place a

11:44

terrorist suspect would get renditioned. Yeah.

11:47

It's kind of place you'd

11:49

have in sore. Someone

11:52

would be tortured in sore just like a

11:54

whole empty concrete and then one

11:56

table with plastic cups of lemonade.

12:00

looking like urine samples set out.

12:03

That's what the table of lemonade

12:05

looks like. It just looked like urine samples

12:08

collected at the Olympic Village or something. Yeah,

12:10

what I liked about the table of lemonade.

12:12

And then just a sparse smattering

12:15

of candy themed

12:17

sculptures on an

12:19

otherwise completely undecorated

12:22

floor and on the walls

12:24

were just printouts of candy

12:27

lands hung sagging on

12:29

to bare concrete walls. What

12:35

I liked about the lemonade display was

12:38

it was a raw trestle table. It's

12:41

an unfolded trestle table and

12:43

they kind of arranged the half cups of

12:46

lemonade which were in plastic office water machine

12:49

cups. The

12:52

place was badly decorated for an AA meeting. If

12:54

I walked into an AA meeting and looked like

12:56

that, I'd have said, come on guys, put in

12:58

some effort. I know we're all alcohol experts. We

13:00

need cheering up. This

13:02

is not helping. But

13:05

on the table of lemonade, Phil, they had the

13:07

lemonade kind of laid out but they hadn't removed

13:09

just like the cardboard box the cups came in

13:13

and just like bits of packaging were just on the

13:15

table as well. It wasn't even as nicely laid out

13:17

as you would do it if that was all you

13:19

had to do and there was no suggestion of magic

13:21

at all. And they got at the last minute

13:24

some poor bunch of fucking actors with like

13:26

a day's notice who

13:28

I'm sure will get paid on time

13:30

and in full. And

13:35

they just had to like try and learn this

13:37

AI script and also because it's an AI script

13:39

and it's just Willie McDuff and this whole made

13:41

up shit, it

13:44

had a villain. There was a villain in

13:46

the script and that was the unknown. Yeah,

13:51

the unknown who was an evil chocolate

13:53

maker that lived in the walls. It's

13:56

a harrowing idea. It's

14:00

just so stupid. The

14:03

robots did a bad job on this. And

14:06

yeah, the clip that's gone viral, it's all

14:08

gone viral, but the clip of the unknown

14:11

is the actors

14:13

playing Willie Macduff

14:15

saying, The unknown and the unknown peers from

14:17

behind the mirror, and you just got to

14:20

show them slowly cotton on that

14:22

something's not right. And they go, no.

14:27

And you just let them begin to cry. As

14:35

the unknown wearing a chrome, like, squid

14:38

game mask kind of like, like,

14:41

jerkily moves behind, for some reason, a mirror

14:43

that's in a corner of a warehouse. And

14:49

the fake Willie Wonka is doing his best to be

14:52

engaged with the script. Oh,

14:55

man. It's a

14:57

wonderful story that's brought the entire

15:00

country together. There's nothing funnier to

15:02

anyone, I think, than a theatrical

15:04

disaster. It's funny. A bad play

15:06

is funny. It is funny. It is

15:08

funny. Already people are talking

15:11

Halloween costumes. They're talking conspiracy theories.

15:14

There's a theory that the unknown is Kate

15:16

Middleton, who's been from Michigan

15:18

Public Duties for two months now.

15:20

I didn't realize that she had

15:22

gone. Yeah,

15:24

well, I mean, people who are

15:26

more attentive of the royals than you and

15:28

I, which is a lot of people, it

15:30

turns out, have noted that Kate

15:33

Middleton has not been seen in public for about two

15:35

months now, I think. Yeah, which

15:37

is a Michael Jackson length of

15:39

time. Yeah. Well, they've said the

15:42

palace has said that she's

15:45

gone in for abdominal surgery,

15:49

but has had to cancel engagements

15:52

that have been in the diary, and

15:56

surely they would have known about. I don't

15:58

know. This is conspiracy mill turning. joining

16:01

and the most fun conspiracy is that she is playing

16:03

the unknown because the unknown is not is

16:05

not unmasked at any point. Yeah. We

16:08

know one knows who the unknown is. Yeah, that's true. That's

16:10

true. The unknown. Yeah,

16:14

I mean, she's been away for two

16:16

months getting into character. Doing

16:19

a lot of research, letting a line. Yeah,

16:23

she went method in

16:25

order to play the unknown. She herself

16:27

must be unknown. And

16:29

live in a wall and make chocolate inside a wall. That's

16:32

it. It's a wonderful story

16:34

because it combines. It's

16:38

sort of the fire festival for the AI

16:40

age. Yeah, right. This is a

16:42

con that's been made

16:44

possible by AI and by

16:47

AI art, which was used to sell it on

16:49

the web page because you look at the AI

16:51

art and all the words at the bottom that

16:53

promise our children

16:55

can look out and look up, look

16:57

forward to our phrases that don't make

17:00

sense. They'll hint at things like unbelievable

17:04

spectrum or

17:06

you want to hear some of them. Oh,

17:08

yeah. I mean, some of these letters don't even make

17:11

sense. Why? I don't know why AI art is

17:13

so bad at science letters. Yeah,

17:15

science and English and words. Yeah, it

17:17

just doesn't seem to understand what they

17:20

are for. So the biggest, the first

17:22

one you see is a... And

17:26

this is a picture of like a

17:29

magical... Landscape. Candy forest. Well,

17:31

there's one that just says, Imagination Lab. So

17:37

they promised the Twilight Tunnel. In

17:39

the Twilight Tunnel, journey through a dimly

17:41

lit passage adorned with captivating projections and

17:43

enigmatic sounds, none of which seem to

17:45

exist. And in

17:48

the picture of the Twilight Tunnel is the series

17:50

of words that say the following, Phil. So

17:52

let's see if you can whisper what these are supposed to be. This is

17:55

our first AI whispering. Whoa, AI

17:57

Wonka whispering, okay. I

18:00

mean this will be so detached from logic I can't imagine

18:02

I'll be able to. This one should be

18:05

easy. Lightng. Lightng.

18:08

Yeah, lightng. Lightng. Lightng.

18:11

Lighting, in fact. Yeah,

18:15

lighting, lighting. Lighting, okay.

18:18

Lighting. Oh, lighting. Dim

18:21

tight. Dim

18:24

tight. Yeah, it just says dim tight. Diminutive

18:29

tights. Yeah, all on the vuvuzela.

18:55

Yes. Yes. The

18:58

wonky doodles play vuvuzelas to

19:00

scare away the unknown. Wonky

19:06

doodles. Ungeerevel. Unbelievable.

19:09

Ungeerevel. Ungeerevel. Your

19:14

experience at this place

19:16

will be ungeerevel. That

19:22

sounds like German for unbelievable.

19:24

Ungeerevel. Ungeerevel. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

19:26

Um, em-pre-ty. Impressive. Em-pre-ty.

19:29

Em-pre-ty. Em-pre-ty. Em-pre-ty.

19:32

Em-pre-ty. That's got quite good

19:34

neologisms. These are quite good new words.

19:38

We're back at Dim-dich. It

19:42

is fascinating though that we will talk. Wording.

19:45

Dodge-jection. Dodge-jection. Enigemic

19:48

sounds. It

19:50

is very Germanic, you're right. It

19:55

does sound very Germanic. It's interesting that the language itself is

19:57

in a- on

20:00

Canny Valley between English and nothing.

20:02

Yes, and it also promises enterining

20:05

entertainment. It says

20:07

enterining entertainment, catcagating, live

20:10

performances, kachitons, ixazade, lollipops

20:12

and a pathadise of

20:14

sweet teats. Okay,

20:17

now I don't want to get accused here

20:19

of victim blaming, but if

20:22

I'm a parent and I'm

20:24

on the website for the

20:26

Wonka experience and I see

20:28

words like this distracting enter

20:30

payment. Maybe

20:33

I'm not going to go. It says here that

20:35

they'll be free. Uh,

20:37

ooh, it says, uh, chocolate.

20:41

Free chocolate chocolate. Like, if

20:43

you were a parent looking at it going free

20:45

chocolate, that sounds good. Yeah,

20:48

you tell him to say, you promised free chocolate.

20:50

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, we

20:53

promised free chocolate chocolate.

20:55

Chocolate is William McDuff's word for the

20:57

air. So, tuck in. Enjoy.

21:01

I think you'll find that we

21:04

promised you free chocolate. It's

21:11

such a Glaswegian, willy Wonka. It is

21:14

so on the nose. It's something that

21:16

is like depressing

21:19

warehouse. Like it doesn't do Glasgow any

21:21

favors this story. No,

21:24

but it has given joy to the rest

21:26

of the nation. To be fair,

21:28

it is very Glaswegian in the sense that it's

21:30

something visually quite depressing that's

21:32

actually hysterically funny. Yes,

21:35

yeah, yeah. And I think that says a lot.

21:37

That's the spirit of the city itself. It

21:41

is like if, if Limmy

21:43

wrote fire festival. Yes, it is like

21:45

a Limmy sketch. Yeah, that's true. Yeah,

21:48

yeah. Just a really sad and

21:50

pulumpa with a thick Glaswegian accent. It

21:53

is so funny and the guy in charge of it

21:55

is like in the clip of parents

21:57

screaming at him. obvious

22:00

creepy con man and he's

22:03

got a really high voice, very

22:06

thin high voice. You

22:09

know what I mean? He's quite unsettling. He's

22:11

really unsettling. He's hiding behind the bouncers. He's

22:13

got this really unsettling voice and

22:16

he's sold or

22:18

at least tried to sell AI written novels.

22:21

Yeah. Just gibberish novels.

22:25

And I think this

22:27

is another piece of evidence for

22:30

me that I think this whole AI takeover thing

22:32

is overblown. I don't think

22:34

it's happening. Do you think AI is going

22:36

to end up being like the equivalent of

22:38

Second Life or something? Like

22:42

a band? Like a band. Like Bitcoin.

22:44

Yeah, yeah. I

22:46

don't know. I think it was a practical application. It

22:48

writes code very well apparently. Yes.

22:51

Yeah. So like learning to code

22:53

now is almost pointless. Yeah. But

22:56

I think it's threat to

22:58

the arts. I think it's

23:00

overblown because there's this weird presumption

23:03

among people who herald the end for the arts

23:05

because they AI. This is where

23:07

presumption that people watch films

23:09

and TV and read books simply

23:11

because they exist. Yeah. But

23:14

that's not true. People

23:16

reject most of the TV and

23:19

movies and film books that are made because they're not

23:21

good enough. So the idea that you

23:24

could just have AI make what

23:27

will be by definition derivative works

23:29

of fiction. Yeah. The

23:32

idea that they'll overtake truly

23:35

creative works of art, I think

23:37

it's nonsense. I think maybe for

23:40

all my pessimisms, I have more

23:42

faith in the human spirit

23:45

than that. I have more faith in

23:47

human boredom. Ah,

23:50

this is a good way of putting it. Those are

23:52

just go, yeah, shit though. Exactly.

23:55

Yeah, sure. I don't like that. Exactly.

23:57

No one, most people have ever said

23:59

about. a piece of AI art is that's

24:01

impressive. No one's gone. That's beautiful. No one has

24:03

ever said that's beautiful. Also, we've gone. Oh, that's

24:06

impressive. That does kind of look like the thing.

24:08

Yeah. No one's gone. Oh, it's beautiful. It's made

24:10

me feel something new. Not once.

24:13

Also, like the people saying it's impressive

24:15

are people saying like, that's amazing given

24:17

that a robot's done that using other

24:19

things humans made before. That's

24:22

right. So yeah,

24:24

given all of these contextual

24:26

clues, it's

24:28

impressive. But I

24:31

wonder what's what's historical precedent is, is

24:33

the best part is

24:35

the best analogy printing press maybe like

24:39

no need to hand write every book just

24:41

stamp it out. And

24:45

being able to print pictures hundreds of the same

24:47

picture. But

24:49

is there anything that has taken

24:51

human creativity out of a process

24:54

photography? Ah,

24:56

yeah, I think that's probably the best. I think

24:58

that is the best. You have to learn to

25:00

use technology and it's still a creative act. Actually,

25:02

it's just that it's got a bit of technology

25:04

and you have to you literally

25:06

have to point it in the right direction. Yeah.

25:09

Yeah, right. I think that's probably the perfect

25:11

analogy. And again, when when photography was invented,

25:13

people thought that was the end of painting

25:16

and it wasn't. When TV was invented, people

25:18

thought the end of cinema and it was.

25:20

Yeah. Yeah.

25:22

Yeah. So I'm I am even still

25:26

around. Also, looking at the

25:28

AI art on the website, it looks like all

25:31

the other AI art I've ever seen. It's sort

25:33

of always a kind of slightly glowing and lumpy.

25:36

And like, yeah, and people, you know, AI watches

25:39

have said they can tell when

25:42

something's made by mid journey. They can tell

25:44

when something's made by Dali,

25:47

like all all these AIs

25:49

have a style like an artist. Yeah.

25:53

And they all end up being derivative and worthless. And

25:57

yeah, I don't I don't buy it

25:59

personally. I don't buy it. I

26:01

think we value art because of the

26:03

human connection. It's not a part of

26:05

it we've tried to get rid of ever. Also, if

26:07

you are the kind of person who can't like there's

26:09

loads of guys on Twitter being like, well,

26:12

I would hang this in my house and I

26:14

have and because that's how good I

26:17

like it. That's how much I like this AI I've

26:19

made. And it's like, that's fine. You can do that.

26:21

But you

26:23

are an angry

26:25

little coding man from Silicon Valley

26:28

or whatever. You aren't buying art

26:30

now. The

26:34

art world existed without you before. It

26:36

will keep existing without you. They don't

26:38

need. And also these people work in

26:40

industry, the vested interest in in bigging

26:42

up the significance of this development. It's

26:44

like someone with, what a

26:47

surprise the guy with a million dollars worth

26:49

of Bitcoin says Bitcoin is the future. Yeah,

26:51

but also like the people who

26:53

like art now aren't the ones saying it is what

26:55

I mean. No.

26:57

So so when they're like, yeah, well, I could do

26:59

all this AI art and it's like, yeah, OK. But

27:02

none of the people who like art like that only

27:04

you like that and you don't like art. Hmm.

27:07

So what does that mean? You might as well get you might as well

27:10

get live left love on your wall. Yeah. Well,

27:12

you've just got a robot to draw your favorite things. You've

27:14

gone, I like reindeer and I like Metal Gear Solid. So

27:16

I want him hanging out with a reindeer, solid snake. And

27:18

you go, yeah, the AI can do that. It's going to

27:20

look great. Or

27:23

it's going to look like what you want. But no

27:26

one else wants that. And

27:31

it's not individual really in the

27:33

same way. It's

27:35

almost like saying that

27:37

one day sex robots will replace all human

27:40

sex. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's just not

27:42

going to happen, is it? No matter how

27:44

good the robots get, it's

27:47

just not going to happen because there's

27:49

something fundamental about real

27:52

physical intimacy. And also

27:54

just that requires that requires two human beings,

27:57

intimacy, I would say and validation.

28:00

and experience

28:02

and so much. Yeah.

28:05

It's, as you say, the people who

28:07

always go on about how it's going to replace things, it's like

28:12

all writers will be made redundant

28:14

by AI says bitter failed writer

28:16

who codes the AI and you

28:19

go, right. Okay. No,

28:21

I think there's some projection going on here. Yeah.

28:24

There's a little bit of projection going on here. In

28:27

the same way, there's projection the other way

28:29

where people go, if only they made Elon

28:31

Musk read Wuthering Heights, then he wouldn't be

28:33

so fucking weird. It's like, no, I don't

28:35

think literature can solve everything. The

28:37

study of literature can't solve everything. No.

28:41

No. What, what would you

28:43

use AI to do, Phil? I used AI

28:45

in my last Edinburgh Fringe poster. Yes,

28:48

I think that's, I think that's pretty good. Certainly

28:51

saved me a lot of money on stockings. You're not making, you're

28:54

not making comedy posters as

28:56

art. You're making them to get

28:58

a message across. Also, it's because I had

29:00

an idea and I needed an image of

29:02

a black and white audience picture where they

29:04

were all laughing and looking at the camera

29:06

and that didn't really exist. Stock images came

29:09

close, but even the closest stock image was

29:12

not very high resolution and was like 150 quid. I

29:17

think, I think the menu say I'll be removing

29:19

a layer of admin

29:21

work from, from, from

29:25

the economy and freeing up an

29:27

entire class of people who otherwise

29:29

would have been administrators or fact

29:31

checkers or proofreaders or data entry

29:34

and interests. But even then like AI

29:36

hallucinates, we've seen it hallucinates data and

29:39

makes it up. Yeah,

29:41

right. Yeah. And then also I think that

29:44

I think that that can be patched up in a way

29:46

that, you know, the gap

29:48

between AI and

29:50

human art can't. Maybe

29:53

it's also like with

29:55

some AI, my, my, my,

29:57

my, my, my aphorism,

30:00

catch phrase is that

30:02

the Industrial Revolution ended manual

30:04

labour and AI revolution will

30:06

end menial labour. Interesting.

30:09

That's my sound bite. Ehhh.

30:13

Maybe, yeah. Yeah, I

30:15

mean, I kind of hope so. I

30:21

mean, again, with the caveat that the

30:23

Industrial Revolution didn't end all manual

30:25

labour and AI won't end all

30:27

manual labour, but it'll significantly reduce

30:29

it. Yeah. The other

30:32

problem is that a lot of these AIs, what

30:34

you feed them, they, the company owns, or like

30:36

they use it to teach themselves things. So

30:39

if you had a unique invention and you asked an

30:41

AI what you thought about it, you'd be telling your

30:44

secret to the AI, it would know the secret. And

30:48

that's, that's dodge. Because it

30:50

could burp it out to someone else. Yeah.

30:53

Yeah. So you got to watch out for that. Speaking

30:55

of burping robots, we should do

30:57

some correspondence. Yes. Let

31:00

us listen to the correspondence. This is

31:02

really Phil and Pierre. Definitely not an

31:05

AI, they have left so they can

31:07

go eat some burgers. Millions

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of people have lost weight with personalized

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oliveandjune.com/perfectmanny20 for 20% off your

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first system. Correspondent,

32:36

we've heard from

32:39

Rob. Rob, you're corn

32:48

on the cob. You're corn on the

32:52

cob Rob. Cher frere de meurtre de

32:54

l'ami de pipi. Is that

33:05

Philippe here? Dear shit brothers

33:07

and piss friends. Ah!

33:10

Cher frere, I think it would be

33:12

June. We began as piss

33:14

brothers and became shit

33:17

friends. I hope you're both well. It's

33:21

not quite in keeping with the usual tat

33:23

Mr. Wang whispers, but I thought this rather

33:25

extreme bumper sticker was so strange I had

33:27

to share it. So, spotted a while ago in the

33:31

good old US

33:34

of A on the rear of

33:37

a baby blue colored hip new

33:39

VW Beetle convertible. Oh wow, that's the

33:43

car. Likely driven by

33:45

a young cool Los Angelino or maybe

33:47

a fun loving soccer mom. It's

33:52

nice to have a little sticker or two highlighting your love's

33:54

core beliefs or just a bit of fun. Sure.

33:58

Why not? Ditch it out. Why,

34:00

what's this? Put a little bit of yourself on that car.

34:02

Yeah, but it's just... get a bit of yourself on your

34:04

bumper! Yeah. For the traffic!

34:08

What's this I spy? A dog

34:10

paw print sticker with a lovely rainbow

34:12

pattern. Highlighting the driver's

34:15

love of animals and their support

34:17

for the LGBTQI plus community. I

34:20

don't think... I think it's a gay bear sticker. Oh!

34:23

I think it's a bear paw. Oh,

34:26

really? Yeah. They think it... right. I'll

34:28

zoom in on it and I'll show you on the camera. Let

34:32

me see. Oh!

34:35

I don't know, it's quite dog-like. For

34:37

me it's quite dog-like, yeah. Do you think it's

34:39

a furry thing? It could also be brass knuckles.

34:43

It might be brass knuckles, it might be... I don't

34:46

know. A queer street

34:48

fighting ring. A queer street fighting ring? Yeah, it

34:50

could be. I do

34:54

Absolute Radio and Soho and they are...

34:56

There's at least one gay bear shop.

34:59

Yeah. Like all it does is the

35:01

gay bear business. Yeah.

35:04

And that's got a paw logo. So

35:06

that's why I think it's gay bears. Does it

35:08

look like that paw there? I think so. Let me

35:11

check my closet. I

35:13

don't know. I think that's a pretty good

35:15

guess. But what would be the game plan

35:17

there then? You

35:21

put a bear sticker

35:23

on your bumper, hoping

35:26

behind you an interested bear

35:29

in a different car rolls up and

35:31

sees it and he takes down your

35:33

license plate number and

35:36

looks you up that way. Or gives

35:38

you a little honk and

35:41

says... I

35:43

found a sticker LGBT

35:45

poor pet friendly. I'm

35:48

a pet friendly gay?

35:52

Does that need to be said? Yeah,

35:55

I'm gay. But don't want you

35:57

to think that means I hate

35:59

animals. I'm one of the gay

36:01

people who doesn't hate animals. Okay, so this is

36:03

a sticker That's

36:06

called gay pride rainbow poor LGBT

36:08

bear dog pet car sticker So

36:10

they're covering all the bases there for

36:12

Google search too many words Okay,

36:15

right now this one. Yeah, but this has little Sharp

36:19

bits coming out of the toe, but it's the same other

36:21

that looks like a claw to me But

36:23

the last thing you showed me had no

36:25

sharp claw bits and looked to me like

36:27

dogpaw. Yeah It's I

36:30

don't really know what it's for. I

36:33

think it's LGBT dog owners. I think that's

36:35

all it is. Do you think? Yeah

36:39

I'm trying to find someone saying

36:41

it's a land of identity Yeah,

36:44

I guess I'm trying to find reviews where

36:46

people go like love getting this for my gay

36:48

friendly dog groomers or something You know like

36:53

Mmm, poor print. Yeah Oh

36:57

That's still scratching his neck with

37:00

my hind leg with his hind legs. Sorry. Yeah, he needs

37:02

a dog sticker Yeah,

37:05

the reviews just say that they think it's great The

37:09

reviews of the sticker yeah Sorry,

37:13

my oven is beeping for no reason. Oh,

37:15

that's what that is. Yeah, my girlfriend likes to

37:17

pour water all over the oven Oh The

37:22

cookies done like the cookies are done. Oh,

37:25

wow. Piers left me alone. I don't mean this

37:27

has ever happened Well,

37:31

I guess we'll talk about cookies I've

37:34

I've always been a fan of

37:36

cookies with a chewy Middle

37:39

bit a little variation or

37:41

texture. I think and really add to the

37:43

oh, thank goodness I was speaking about I

37:47

Was speaking about cookies I was just saying

37:49

to the pod buds that I've never been

37:51

left alone in that situation Oh you haven't

37:54

and I had to start talking about what kinds

37:56

of cookies I like because did you

37:59

have the last thing I said? Did you? And

38:01

yeah. So, okay. Well, okay.

38:03

That's regardless of the meaning. I think

38:05

we've broadly in agreement of what it

38:07

is. It's

38:10

some, Oh, the pause the gaze. Yeah. But that's

38:12

not what we're talking about, Phil. No,

38:16

no. That's not the

38:18

sticker we're interested in. Okay.

38:21

What is this? Wow. So,

38:23

okay. This is the distraction.

38:25

So, uh, Rob goes on, then what's

38:27

this? Above

38:30

and to the right on the rear

38:32

windscreen. So, it's at

38:34

the top right of the rear windscreen. Yeah.

38:38

A yellow warning sticker. So,

38:41

it's one of those yellow warning stickers. Like a hazard

38:44

sign. Yeah, yeah. Like baby on board. Oh,

38:47

yeah. Oh, the triangle. Yeah. Yeah.

38:50

Uh, it's not a triangle, but it's, Oh, no, it is

38:52

a triangle. It's a diamond. It's a diamond. Oh,

38:55

yeah. It's a diamond. Uh,

38:57

what does it say? Maybe it says baby on board or

38:59

something like if you're close enough to read this, you're too

39:01

close or something to do with the emergency services. What do

39:04

you think it says, Phil? If you guess this, I will

39:06

give you a hundred pounds. Does

39:10

that have anything to do with the dog? No,

39:13

I would not say so. I'm

39:16

going to say it says it's two words.

39:21

Oh, what was your guess? What was your guess going to be before I

39:23

said that? Honk if

39:25

you like hand jobs. Interesting.

39:28

More, even more direct than a sticker with

39:30

a rainbow on. I

39:33

reckon it just says, fuck me. Jesus

39:39

Christ. Is it? What? I

39:41

thought that's what you're going for. You said very

39:43

direct. I said, I'd give you a hundred pounds

39:45

if you guessed it. That means it's got nothing

39:47

to do with the first sticker. It means it's

39:49

a hard, like you're not going to get this,

39:51

but I'd love to see you try. Right.

39:54

Okay. Here's your clue. It's fucking

39:56

crazy. It's

40:01

not an addendum to the previous ticket.

40:03

I would say, not in my

40:05

opinion. Ok.

40:10

I'm going to say it says... I'm

40:22

going to say it says... Bus

40:29

enthusiast. What? Bus

40:32

enthusiast. Very

40:35

hypocritical to be driving a car with that on. Well

40:38

yeah, that's what would make it a surprising thing to

40:40

have on your car. Yeah, no it

40:42

doesn't say bus enthusiast Phil, it says pedophile

40:44

killer. Wow! Look.

40:53

Look at that. I can't see

40:55

it. You're showing me the wrong part of the phone. No.

40:59

Yeah, there we go. Fucking hell! It really

41:01

does say that. And

41:03

spelled the American way. Yeah, pedophile.

41:07

Pedophile killer. Well,

41:09

when I suggested it said fuck me and you

41:11

went Jesus Christ, I thought wow, ok, I guess

41:13

it's not that harsh. But it's harsher. Yeah,

41:16

it was fucking mental. I just meant... I said

41:18

fuck me because you were just like, well, you

41:21

start with the rainbow paw and then you just go

41:23

straight in with, you know, shag my hoop I'm a

41:25

bear or something. And the sticker is like, no, no,

41:28

no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah,

41:30

yeah. You

41:32

answer these sometimes, like you live in a world

41:34

that makes sense. The

41:38

world is chaos. So you

41:40

were appalled because my guess made too much sense. And

41:43

it was just like, it lined up

41:45

too much. It was too... I didn't

41:47

think you were grasping the scale of how crazy it

41:50

was because I was looking at the phrase pedophile killer.

41:56

Well, now I understand. Yeah. Oh,

41:59

man. Peterphile killer. So Rob says, yes,

42:01

you know it's that helpful warning that

42:03

surely is easy to source as a

42:06

sticker from most shops simply stating Peterphile

42:08

killer. Yes,

42:11

you read that right. The driver of

42:13

a fun VW wants to ensure other

42:15

road users are absolutely clear that they're

42:18

in the proximity of someone who will,

42:20

without doubt, kill Peterphiles. Or

42:23

pedophiles if you're American, but I'm not going to argue that point

42:26

with them. Oh,

42:29

I didn't read the whole email first. Sorry, Rob.

42:31

He says, what are the chances Phil could guess

42:34

the phrase based on the clues, noun for someone

42:36

unsavory followed by noun for another unsavory person? Peterphile

42:39

killer. That's good. I still

42:41

think the odds would be quite low. Wow.

42:45

Oh my God. Americans

42:49

also say pedarast. A pedarast? Yeah, sometimes they

42:51

do. Yeah, sometimes they do. Yeah, but that's

42:53

an ancient Greek sort of word. Wow,

42:56

is it? Yeah, it's very old fashioned. It's

43:00

very old fashioned. What is the technical definition of that? I'm going

43:03

to look that up. Define.

43:08

Define pedarast. A man who engages in sexual

43:10

activity with a boy or youth. Okay,

43:13

so specific. Yeah,

43:16

it's an ancient Greece thing. It's a bit of a...

43:21

Yeah, it seems a bit specific. Like

43:23

why do we need that word now? I think

43:25

it's just some weird old fashioned thing that's hanging

43:27

out, hanging around. In

43:30

America, as they all do. Old

43:33

English words hide in America like Nazis

43:35

in South America. See you think? Yeah,

43:37

that's it. Pedarast. You're

43:40

a goddamn pedarast. Sweet

43:42

Pete has sent us some tat. Sweet

43:46

Pete, so sweet. I feel

43:48

complete. It's a can of

43:50

wine. Oh yeah.

43:53

Would you drink this wine, Philip? It

43:55

says dry French vegan. Yeah? I

43:58

mean... Nothing wrong

44:01

with those things in

44:03

a wine all those things together in

44:05

a canned wine I'm

44:07

getting a little nervous. Here's the description We're

44:11

wine for the moments that matter No,

44:13

I don't want it in brackets

44:15

and the magically meaningless ones, too

44:19

What does that mean? It

44:22

just means buy this and drink this all the time.

44:24

We don't care. I Would

44:27

love to buy wine that says buy this and drink this

44:29

all the time On

44:32

the back so just come no idea of

44:35

responsibility at all. Just buy this and drink it all the

44:37

time, please What

44:39

in the morning? Yes Yeah,

44:42

this was the competing campaign

44:44

to drink responsibly. It was between drink responsibly

44:46

and buy this and drink this all the time Yeah,

44:48

yeah, yeah, it came down. It was 52 48 in the end It

44:51

was 52 48 in the end nationally

45:01

The man more information about what the wine is

45:04

yes. Oh, yes in a way I

45:06

think also magically meaningless moments to drink wine

45:08

in feels a bit like even when you're

45:10

munted and can't remember where you are Just

45:13

have another can Yeah,

45:16

or like the morning breakfast.

45:18

Yeah on the school run put it

45:20

on your sink In the shower in

45:22

the shower, that's meaningless moment. Why not have a

45:25

wine in the shower Fallover

45:27

be discovered days later It's

45:30

wine We're

45:33

wine for the moments that matter and the magically

45:36

meaningless ones, too Will

45:38

be your son's out wine brunch

45:40

wine festival wine, whatever wine whenever

45:43

let's wine In

45:45

other words Pierre buy this and drink this

45:47

all the time drink this all the time

45:49

you whispered their vibe Before I

45:51

even read it And

45:54

then the final phrase they fill it in if you picked up

45:56

on that let's wine No

46:00

Oh! Really,

46:04

bro. The verification of

46:06

nouns continues. I thought

46:08

this was over. It keeps going. I

46:10

thought this was the end of this. There's more.

46:13

Footnotes. Hashtag Wine for Whenever.

46:17

If I went to someone's house and they went, I've always

46:19

got a bottle of wine in the fridge for, you know,

46:21

whenever, I'd go, OK. Are you OK? We're

46:26

needy. Talk to us. And then

46:28

their email address. Uh...

46:32

Or stalk us, and then their Instagram. And

46:36

then... I'm gonna see it. And then... I don't know

46:38

how many followers they have. Oh, yeah.

46:41

Scan this ugly QR code to find out

46:43

why this can has a bit of extra

46:45

breathing room. Oh,

46:47

what does that mean, a bit of extra breathing room? Like it's

46:49

not filled to the brim? Are

46:52

you angry that we haven't filled your

46:54

everyday wine can to the fucking brim?

46:58

Scan this drug code. What's the name of this? May...

47:01

Would you show me the wine brand? It's...

47:04

The Instagram is terrible. At Drink

47:06

Nice. You're

47:08

kidding! Drink Nice. What

47:13

have they got? OK.

47:17

Let's see how many people decided to stalk them. 9,000

47:21

people. That's disappointingly high.

47:25

Come on, everyone. Oh, yeah. The

47:27

guys around have seen these cans about. Nice,

47:30

Drink Nice. Scan

47:33

this ugly QR code. Fuck off.

47:37

I don't want to read... I can imagine

47:39

someone reading that and going, Yeah, they are ugly,

47:41

aren't they? Shut up. Will

47:43

wackaging ever, ever

47:45

be gone? No. It

47:47

must work, mustn't it? Mustn't

47:52

it? I guess

47:54

it must, yeah. Yeah,

47:58

I guess it tricks people into thinking... taking

48:00

part in like a cute

48:02

project like someone's little

48:04

project and not a multi-million

48:07

pound company yeah

48:11

yeah I think that's right it's gross well Phil

48:13

look it's time to go to the wackaging wine

48:15

company for VIPs only okay

48:19

yeah that's fun let's do that otherwise

48:22

see you all very soon

48:24

Pierre is on the De

48:26

Soho Theatre. De Soho Theatre

48:28

guys tickets are 60% sold something

48:30

like that ooh we're over

48:33

halfway so you're gonna miss out if

48:35

you don't get on it please get

48:37

down on it I

48:40

would love to see you guys there I would love to have lots

48:42

of kojish in your crowd.

48:44

Lots of kojish. Lots of kojish.

48:47

And I am in the Canary

48:50

Islands and so

48:52

if you find me in the Canary Islands I'm not gonna

48:54

tell you which one and

48:56

I will say hello yeah

49:00

enjoy enjoy enjoy everyone

49:02

much love goodbye