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0:35

Its bird bird to sixty six.

0:39

To. Six six who

0:41

picked this who practice.

0:44

That opaque. This is the worst thing to

0:47

here. At a

0:49

party. About the

0:51

music. When you've picked

0:53

it. Yeah. That's

0:55

happened to was the equivalent is happened

0:58

to me at least once. I remember

1:00

once. In

1:04

Australia Dynamo and Comedy Festival. a few

1:06

of us comedians went out on the

1:08

night I went to. Like a karaoke

1:10

bar. And. People were picking like

1:12

all the classics like I'm. Turn.

1:17

Around and then then then

1:19

little. Harder and like all these

1:21

like bangers and people I sing along

1:23

of as I am I turn and

1:26

other obviously yourselves you can phone and

1:28

I picked. A

1:31

good skate boy back of a Levine. Yeah.

1:34

It was as good of all these as a a

1:36

labour. Lie that sir that pitch

1:38

for like three minutes. then a

1:40

video to. And

1:42

like wasn't fun and I misjudged it

1:44

either. At the end of the and

1:46

the community john conscious when that was

1:48

horrible. It

1:51

was awful, I know, even in a fun,

1:54

jokey battery kind of ways. And. He's.

1:56

Really sad is really sad as I

1:58

was horrible. And

2:03

I had a terrible when someone can say

2:05

that with a totally straight face. People.

2:08

Set of nodding like they took aim

2:10

at a recent tragedy in the nice.

2:13

Meme. Meme. He was making that

2:15

sounds. I

2:18

hadn't quite realize to you said

2:20

it just and how utterly monotone.

2:24

That song is annoying. You think it's

2:26

a fun for the melodic t and

2:28

anything and anna. An Amen and Amen And.

2:31

Amen and man man man man and

2:33

a man it really is some guess

2:35

it that's really hard and as well

2:37

as singing it I realized as this

2:40

isn't as good as fun as long

2:42

as I remember it I the most

2:44

fun with the whole vibe. how does

2:46

it work than in the original guys

2:48

was of this none of us as

2:50

before. Because his head

2:52

with a music video and didn't never

2:55

seen a girl dressed like that before.

2:57

Ps. I didn't

2:59

know girls who would I could ever

3:01

dress like that she had to

3:03

tame and actresses a surprise roses and

3:06

it's same. I

3:08

isi though the slightly more

3:11

more more than you would

3:13

think. And he knows had

3:15

a wallet with velcro. Ah you know

3:17

said a vocal as advil of the and

3:19

definitely had a velcro wallet you never saw

3:21

it in any the videos but he doesn't

3:24

had a velcro or that see had a

3:26

yeah and it was some. It.

3:29

Definitely would have had a kind of

3:31

brand on it's on the velcro wallet.

3:33

Most scum little alien heads. Oh

3:37

yeah, the ailing had

3:39

ah or loaded be

3:41

am was on Fat

3:43

guy was I said

3:45

what's the success? Success

3:47

successful career wallet. Yeah

3:50

yeah, Hot Topic rules ago

3:53

during. ah yes and

3:55

idea that not only could there be

3:57

a girl who wears black trousers and

4:00

a chain on the trousers, but

4:02

also boots. What?

4:06

And black, um,

4:09

sweatband wristbands. Yes.

4:14

I don't know what you call those because they are sweatbands,

4:16

but they're not on the head wristbands, but they're not a

4:18

wristband. What is that? Sweat wristbands.

4:20

Sweat wristbands. Swiss, Swiss bands.

4:24

Like, like you're, like you're in the Royal

4:26

Tenon bounds or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

4:28

But gothi, still black. Yeah. Like a

4:31

gothi tennis player from the eighties. Yeah.

4:33

Goth tennis player. Another archetype we

4:36

don't see anymore because of woke. Huge,

4:42

huge in Malaysia. Huge. Oh really?

4:44

In Malaysia. In Malaysia, huge. Why

4:47

is that? Malaysia feels too tropical to be

4:49

gothi. Well,

4:52

Malaysia just kind of got whatever was big in

4:54

America and UK and the, and

4:57

kind of Australia, mainly like American UK.

4:59

We got whoever was big. Yeah.

5:02

So it was kind of weird. We, you know,

5:04

we get, actually it's basically the same as what

5:07

you get in the UK, so M&M,

5:09

Avril Lavigne, but also Westlife.

5:12

Yeah. Oh, God. In

5:15

like, kind of a betting field. You know what? Malaysia.

5:18

Holy Valance. One

5:20

of it. All of it. In

5:22

Malaysia. Um, I take

5:24

back what I said about tropical Goths because

5:28

it's not quite goth, but South America's

5:30

got like such an

5:32

enormous amount of metal bands.

5:34

Like now output one. Oh, well,

5:37

I guess they have that really

5:39

violent sort of strain of Catholicism

5:41

with the blood and the, and

5:45

the thorns and the day of

5:47

the dead. It's all very metal.

5:49

Yeah. And the thing that was

5:51

there before the bloody Catholicism was

5:53

like human sacrifice and like pyramids

5:55

of skulls. Yeah. It's very metal.

5:57

It's just that to the

6:00

euro. European soul, maybe

6:02

it feels like you can't be that

6:04

metal and gothy when it's

6:06

so humid. Humidity

6:09

feels like you go, I'll be depressed tomorrow. And

6:12

right now I just need to sit in this

6:14

wicker chair. But

6:16

Avril Lavigne was a relatively airy goth. No,

6:18

no, it was much more. It

6:20

was like tank tops. I mean, that's why the Malaysians

6:22

understood it. Corn wasn't

6:24

too, too very big in Malaysia.

6:28

That metal, death metal band, corn with

6:31

a backwards K. Do

6:33

you remember this band? But they had too much on, I

6:35

think. They had too...

6:37

They looked too hot. They looked too hot. Yeah, yeah. That's

6:40

interesting, the style of clothing. So

6:43

yeah. Oh, okay. Yes, yes, yes. So

6:45

like Rage Against the Machine, they often

6:48

performing topless. That makes more sense. You go,

6:50

okay, yeah, that makes sense. They're from California.

6:52

Yeah. Red Hot Chili Peppers? Yeah.

6:54

Sure thing. Come on in. They

6:57

look cool. They've

6:59

not got any t-shirts on. What

7:02

happened to skateboarding? Matthew McConaughey, huge star of

7:04

Malaysia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What

7:08

happened to skateboarding? I know people still skateboard, but it

7:10

had such a... I know. Vice-like grip

7:12

over my early teenage years. It really

7:15

did. The North East was the decade

7:17

of the skateboard. What happened? I don't

7:19

think more people were skateboarding than before

7:21

or after. Same number of

7:23

people skateboarding, but... It

7:25

was like millennials version of disco. It

7:27

was just everything and then nothing. Oh,

7:31

the small things. Tony

7:33

Hawk Pro Skater, one of the biggest

7:35

video game series around. Where's that gone?

7:37

No one wants to play skateboarding. No

7:40

one plays Tony Hawk anymore. No

7:42

one. Tony Hawk's like fucking 60. Yeah,

7:45

he's old. 50, I don't know. Ah,

7:49

yeah. Why did it go away? And when did

7:51

it go away? I'm going to say 2007. It

7:54

was gone. Financial

7:57

crisis. In my social context, it was gone. financial

8:00

crash yeah all

8:03

the skateboarders lost lost all the

8:05

money they had in rollerblade

8:09

features I know all the

8:12

skateboarders were heavily in half pipe

8:15

you know it

8:17

look Phil a lot of people got half

8:19

pipe mortgages to

8:22

buy here to buy areas

8:24

of land and install concrete half pipes in

8:26

them and it all felt

8:29

to shit you know the bricks

8:31

and mortar they said and

8:33

then the subprime ollie market

8:37

ruined a lot of a lot

8:39

of skateboarders portfolios look I'm just I

8:41

think you're gonna have

8:43

to default on this long

8:46

grind down a railing it's

8:50

just not gonna work anymore you can't afford the

8:53

interest payments on your fucking I'm

8:58

trying to remember other moves that you get

9:00

lots of points for and Tony yeah yeah

9:02

screw the screw pipe sounds

9:04

like something a half

9:09

a half Sullivan I don't

9:12

know that sounds like

9:14

a move a half Sullivan yeah why not

9:16

a Demi Sullivan cuz in

9:18

all them a lot of them just like named after the

9:20

dude that first did it right yeah

9:23

yeah yeah yeah I don't know I'm making that

9:25

up that feels right all the

9:27

other invented the ollie the

9:30

same record a spatch cock the

9:34

broken elbow that's a move did

9:38

you ever try to skateboard yeah like once

9:42

Tony Hawk it gives you unrealistic

9:44

expectations of how easy skateboarding is

9:46

for a tall man also oh

9:48

man yeah is he tall Tony

9:51

Hawk is incredibly tall yeah yeah

9:54

he doesn't look like he doesn't skate like

9:56

someone with a high center of gravity that's

9:58

a Sunday walk is six feet three

10:00

inches tall. Get in a bin! Really?

10:02

Yeah, that's the most amazing thing, he

10:05

has this really high center, he's very

10:07

very slender I guess, he's always been

10:09

very thin. So his center

10:11

of gravity... where would that make his center of

10:13

gravity? Higher. Higher? Yeah it

10:16

would. That's worse isn't it? That's

10:18

much worse. I guess it

10:20

takes less strength to correct himself.

10:23

That's true, I don't think you get many sort

10:25

of people built like rugby players who skateboard. I

10:29

just couldn't get any balance, I couldn't understand

10:31

how it worked, I couldn't

10:34

coordinate it. The

10:36

idea of using your feet

10:39

inside big muffled trainers,

10:41

big foamy muffly trainers,

10:45

to spin your skateboard

10:47

in the air and then

10:49

know somehow without looking exactly

10:52

when to put your feet back down again

10:54

so that it all goes back to being

10:56

a normal posture. Yeah. It's basically witchcraft

10:58

from my point of view. Incredible. Incredible.

11:01

It was like... when

11:04

you're like a very uncoordinated kid,

11:07

it's already hard enough to be cool at

11:09

physical activities, like you're already lame. Yeah. And

11:11

skateboarding is such a false hope I think,

11:13

because they're like okay, if you get skateboard

11:15

then you'll be cool, and you go right.

11:19

So like if I can skateboard, if I can say do

11:21

an ollie, that's like plus a hundred cool

11:23

points, but if there's a 95% chance that

11:25

I'll just fucking

11:28

deck myself in front of everyone,

11:30

and that's like minus a thousand, it's

11:32

such a false economy. It

11:35

is. The risk is so not worth

11:37

the reward. And then

11:39

you have to not cry, you cannot cry. Even

11:42

if you've just gone like... Very painful,

11:44

embarrassing things. Both kneecaps down on car

11:46

park tarmac. Without

11:49

any packing you have to just

11:51

be like... It takes so much

11:53

practice. It's not fair because

11:55

it obviously takes so much practice and work and

11:57

discipline to get good at skateboarding. Yeah. But... The

12:00

culture otherwise is about laziness, right?

12:03

The otherwise escaper is like, you

12:06

know, laid back a bit

12:08

of a no-hoper, not good

12:10

at school, doesn't have a job, and you

12:12

go, oh, well, if a layabout can master

12:14

this, then

12:16

surely I can. And you try and get on,

12:18

you instantly fall off, and it turns out you

12:23

have to practice for years. They were lying

12:25

and sabbie. They were fucking lying. They

12:28

were hiding it. Oh, by the way, that

12:32

what you just said is so that it's like

12:34

the sentence I would see in like a speech

12:36

bubble in a comic strip coming

12:39

out of the mouth of like a kid, a

12:42

little kid dressed like a sailor with really big,

12:44

thick glasses and his hands behind his back like

12:46

Prince Charles. If a layabout can

12:48

master this, why cannot I? That's

12:54

right. Like a

12:56

little... It didn't make sense. Prince

12:58

and knickerbockers tries to skateboard. It's

13:03

like something Mr. Burns would say on a rare

13:05

outing into like the town. Why,

13:11

if those layabouts could master wheelie

13:13

board? Yeah,

13:15

exactly. Oh, man. But you're

13:17

right. It takes so much work. And so you

13:19

think, right, so you guys are like very lazy

13:21

and stoned and chill. But you

13:23

spend all day practicing some physical

13:25

moves like dancers. It's

13:29

such a contradiction. Yes.

13:32

And crucially, not

13:35

giving up when you fail crucially,

13:38

failing again and again and again.

13:40

But by the process of iteration

13:43

and discipline, mastering

13:45

this incredibly difficult thing eventually.

13:47

But these would be the same kids who are at school

13:50

if they got one maths

13:52

question wrong. Assumed

13:54

it was the whole thing was impossible.

13:58

It is. It. And it's

14:01

skateboarding so me feel the lot more impossible

14:03

when you've fallen down a staircase and the

14:05

boards gone into your balls then I would

14:08

go through I guess is actually possible. Yeah

14:10

getting I'm is a mess. Question on your

14:12

oh well I guess I just learned how

14:14

to do math to the next time a

14:17

limousine yeah baby some and I'm so chilled

14:19

out and relaxed and I want to have

14:21

a nice life I'm going to. Scrape.

14:24

Down two flights of stairs on a

14:26

railing on a sin piece of wood.

14:31

And objective li terrifying and very difficult thing

14:33

to do without hurting yourself. Hey

14:36

is nuts. Also, I have always felt

14:38

like the Uk doesn't have the social

14:41

culture required. For. A

14:43

healthy skateboarding skate park vibe because I've

14:45

seen how the weather. Now.

14:47

Over whether you need you need to there's a

14:49

reason it's from California where it's and yes, perfect

14:52

weather everyday for weeks so you can get very

14:54

good at. Ali. And but

14:56

also like. I've

14:58

seen videos of have like little kids. You.

15:01

Know going to skate park and they

15:03

go viral is up in a few

15:05

times the go viral because of how

15:07

like nice the other skaters are to

15:09

like the ten year old oh yeah

15:11

and elected worry little dude he can

15:13

learn how to skate it's new problem

15:15

like they're very like till doubt about

15:17

it and like hear the coolest tattooed

15:19

looking dude you've ever seen as like

15:21

being really chill and nice to the

15:24

yeah ganglia little freak his run a

15:26

skateboarder this really bad at it and

15:28

idea in the Uk wind wind is

15:30

socially if you attempt something. Especially when

15:32

you're a kid. The natural. Like.

15:35

Zoo sort of instinct of everyone in

15:37

this country is to go. If

15:40

you're going to stick your head up and say you can

15:42

do this, you better fucking be able to do it already.

15:45

Yea, I don't waste our time with

15:47

this. Attendant: Literally any

15:49

of the steps I leads

15:51

to Missouri. It. Now than in

15:54

take a second of are worthless time.

15:57

The time we know is worthless because we live

15:59

here too. It.

16:01

Didn't take a second or that

16:03

and so isn't anything except perfection.

16:06

For some reason. We

16:08

failures will be disappointed. Will

16:10

be serious with his. Because.

16:13

This is a country. Of

16:15

gentlemen amateurs. We.

16:18

Want someone who doesn't mind if they sail. To.

16:20

Try something and sale! And

16:23

then that's that's okay. but if someone is

16:25

trying to do well and then they sail.

16:28

They. Have made a mockery of the

16:30

culture of the gentleman amateur and it may

16:32

try to do so well. And they do

16:34

well. That's almost as bad. So

16:37

overall tapped go away, go away

16:40

And this failure. Is. Is

16:42

proof of that hubris and

16:44

therefore proof that God disapproves

16:47

of their efforts. To

16:50

who have we hit a god

16:52

fearing Christians to applaud. That.

16:54

Those who are condemned to failure

16:57

by the devil. Yeah and the

16:59

and for this in a pre would be uploading the

17:01

devil. And recent. Recent.

17:05

That's a worthwhile thing I've heard in escape part.

17:08

Of. The whole

17:10

thing we the said of a last

17:12

minute all of a british been other

17:15

videos of like the skaters of Nice

17:17

to This Child Sit There was a

17:19

for couple years back that this trend

17:21

of videos. Were. Like

17:24

it basically be someone with

17:26

tattoos. help me another person

17:28

out. And. Of the undefeated be

17:30

like. So. Maybe don't judge people by

17:32

their peers? c. C.

17:34

And I go what we did. What? Because

17:36

they had tattoos You assumed who'd kill the

17:38

old ladies? that of happiness Felicity supposed to

17:41

be literally stop to the zebra crossing the

17:43

legally obliged to do that. Yeah, or it's

17:45

It's like. A man you

17:47

since have have assumed everyone in

17:49

In in the biker gang was

17:51

a murderer just because they have

17:53

tattoos. Was. Yeah. Also,

17:55

he's not in a gang. he has tattoos because

17:58

he works at Google. Is is. The

18:00

Bike Club. Yeah. This is the

18:02

like. This is the Google Motorcycle fan

18:04

Club success. They have more computer scientists

18:07

have more tattoos now than gangsters. Also

18:09

like I could see the tattoos he

18:11

has this a cartoon network characters. Cats

18:15

Courage: The cowardly dog on the so that he

18:17

thought he was gonna kill a lady. She's

18:20

a coda. He earns more than everyone else

18:22

he's helping in that will not parked car

18:25

park combined. Did

18:27

you not see the guy drove away and like a that guy.

18:30

Have you seen this Is this a symbol

18:32

of I my seen these a Virgin Atlantic

18:35

adverse Ever seen these. Are the

18:37

vigilante their line with all the red

18:39

and yeah and is like. This

18:41

like version landed be different. be who you

18:44

wanna be and they'll be like a South

18:46

Asian guy with the nose piercing in the

18:48

in the business class lounge. Can noom has

18:51

since the hell wants can you imagine zone

18:53

with the know seizing in a business class

18:55

on Virgin Atlantic and and then but help

18:57

as an aunt on on the flight up

19:00

like a punk girl and she makes a

19:02

silly face at a child with the tub

19:04

laughs at it. And that the

19:06

the flight attendants are going to stop them.

19:09

To. This is Virgin Atlantic and then they'll zoom

19:11

in on this. an East Asian woman. And

19:14

then they'll go Version: Atlantis. Lets

19:17

you can be you can have piercings,

19:19

you can be gay, you can even

19:22

be East Asian and Virgin Atlantic will

19:24

not as the off the plane like

19:26

as they do things different whether you

19:28

know. Whether. You're

19:30

appear stop circus freak weather

19:33

yeah day as hell or

19:35

even chinese ssssss in Atlantic

19:37

will take your money. Okay,

19:41

Three. Our minds a he's got a

19:43

vague those ring. We. Don't mind.

19:46

If. You doing can sex orgy

19:48

or is your from Japan will

19:50

take your medicine. Is

19:54

a lot of but honestly as

19:56

our those bad with place and

19:58

everything on this guy. Tattoos and

20:00

he's wearing a pink suit. but

20:03

he's in the lounge and we

20:05

haven't kicked him out yet. We

20:07

won't even kick him out. Look

20:09

this disguise where it's just like

20:11

a Miami Vice character who has

20:13

somehow also joined the Hell's Angels

20:16

but will still will take his

20:18

money, will accept it. We.

20:20

Will for goods and services will take

20:22

his money because it's. Just.

20:24

We want you to understand as

20:27

customers. For us, what's important is

20:29

the money. If you have the

20:31

money to send, you can buy

20:34

this. Okay. Oh. You

20:36

incredibly rich Billie an Egg,

20:38

a biker gang? Look, people

20:40

who haven't been flying first

20:42

class simply because you assume

20:44

your money's no good? Here

20:46

it is. We love taking

20:48

money. Please.

20:51

Even if you're Korean.

20:54

Assess Assess Assess Assess.

20:57

As widgets of wacky like

20:59

that, we don't mind. We

21:01

don't mind. Ok City

21:04

has been being essays and we don't.

21:06

I suspect that at. A

21:08

Fast as your choice or take

21:11

it is truly when. especially when.

21:14

I don't know what the point is. That

21:17

is really bizarre. I. Need

21:19

to find that adds. I love any

21:21

time where company tries to explain themselves.

21:24

And like over Hsbc said where it's like.

21:26

Maybe. Hsbc is the bank for

21:29

this guy. In

21:31

a boat made of Wicca? Who fishes

21:33

using a bird he's trained. In

21:36

like the most remote part of Chinese have

21:38

never fucking heard of. Maybe were also his

21:40

bank of cool I you? Oh well no.

21:44

No literati. But

21:46

we could be. We like to think we could be. With

21:50

we we've been sanctioned and and

21:52

lawyer couldn't say no necessarily is

21:54

always saying it if he had

21:56

the money. We.

21:58

are at enough brackets We are a bank. A

22:01

kind of account. It's about money. We'll

22:03

take money from fucking anyone. That's our

22:05

message. We don't give a shit. Okay?

22:08

I want to start a company just so the

22:10

tagline of the advert at the end is, the

22:13

money is its own reward. Bank

22:17

with Wang Bank. The money

22:19

is its own reward. Anyone

22:22

can bank with us. We

22:24

as long as you have money. If you've

22:27

got money, we'd love to have

22:29

some. That

22:31

could be the slogan. Can we

22:34

have some of your money? We

22:37

don't care if you have piercings. We

22:40

don't care if you're part of

22:42

the LGBT community. We don't care

22:44

if you're upside down or from

22:46

Myanmar. We will take your money.

22:49

The money is its own reward at Wang

22:51

Bank. We're the only

22:53

honest bank. We will

22:55

give you the best interest rate we can

22:57

to the level that

23:00

the interest rate can attract people to

23:02

us without losing us any of that money

23:04

we want. We

23:07

will calculate that using an algorithm. Because

23:12

the money is its own reward. With

23:14

an only honest bank. I

23:18

think there's a bright future for brutally

23:20

honest advertising. I think we'll get there

23:22

eventually. I think we'll get there. Yeah,

23:24

I don't know. I

23:27

think the depressing thing is that

23:29

it's an arms race for a reason, right?

23:31

Because all this signaling does just really work

23:33

on people. All

23:36

that mad men shit about toasted tobacco and all

23:38

that. It

23:41

does just make people go, ooh! Yeah,

23:44

but I think I feel like

23:46

we've passed the golden age

23:48

of advertising. I was flicking

23:50

through, I was at the Tate yesterday,

23:52

the Tate Modern Museum for Art. In

23:55

The gift Shop I Was just flicking through this book

23:57

about sneakers and the history of sneakers and stuff. The

24:00

game a thing and like this

24:02

is some is it business like

24:05

nineties adverts for. Ah

24:07

as organs and is just an Air

24:09

Jordan like sticking in in the bottom

24:11

of the top right corner. This post

24:13

at because Michael Jordan's already flown off

24:15

out of the out of the name

24:17

of the poster Yeah is and is

24:19

that it's just like. Air

24:22

Jordans. or maybe Nike? Air. Man

24:24

can fly or semi this and is

24:26

mostly negative space but then is just

24:28

as. This. Sneak in the

24:30

corner disappearing so it does fan so I

24:32

had a so nice it's a good or

24:35

like that the mini the classic many him

24:37

methods am. What?

24:39

Is it not a lemon is of of the tagline was.

24:42

A lemon or lemon the called like a lemon.

24:45

And is I guess the mini mini Cooper

24:48

in the middle of a oh okay, those

24:50

bed. I'm. Not

24:52

sure they're not as I can remember why that one's

24:54

good bye Know I was. I

24:58

like this is magazines right? There's no, there's

25:00

no really magazine advertising. sort of dead so

25:02

it's not really. must creativity gun and that

25:04

yes, kiss him in a magazine it would

25:06

have to be striking enough to the reader

25:08

to stop licking. My. Tv

25:10

adverts Now adjust. Their.

25:13

Like something from a nightmare circus. It.

25:16

Yeah yeah I it and Zip do

25:18

that for like the trend this this

25:20

of the camera transitions of everything everywhere

25:23

all at once. the successes. It's

25:26

just like it's just a cavalcade of

25:28

the most racially ambiguous people you've ever

25:30

seen. And then. And

25:33

then as and sclerosis of the product thing smashed

25:35

to bits and you like what what is what's

25:37

going on come out of a need a panel.

25:40

And like. Whenever there's

25:43

a shot of a family, it's like a family

25:45

We go. How did. You guys All meet.

25:49

It's it's. like I'm. Sometimes.

25:51

You get that at Christmas where you know because it's Christmas they

25:53

want to show like a. Probably. like for

25:55

generations in one room read you like there's

25:58

a fucking great grandparents and the corner,

26:00

this fucking living room. And they

26:02

want as many races as possible to hit up

26:04

as many demographics at once in the UK. Yeah.

26:08

You've got like a kind of half,

26:11

half South Asian, half Brazilian

26:15

gay niece. She's

26:17

there. The great grandparents

26:20

in the corner is like

26:22

black African. The

26:25

mum is like the most Aryan woman on earth.

26:27

Yeah. There's a Japanese guy in

26:30

there and they're just like, Christmas

26:32

is about family. And you're like, what a

26:34

family. Wow. There are people

26:36

who must be international students like from like these

26:38

guys have to be from essentially, let's face it,

26:40

our background. Yes. Well,

26:42

this is, I, the other day there's an advert

26:45

for like fucking Aldi or something with

26:47

a Chinese dad and a white mama. I was

26:49

like, what the fuck? What the hell? Jesus.

26:51

Are you serious? And I'm always, every time an advert

26:53

comes on now, I say, I lean over to my

26:55

girlfriend and say, do you think that too many mixed

26:57

race families and adverts now? I

27:00

think, I think we're over, I think we're overrepresented.

27:02

There are not this many mixed race families and

27:04

she's like, what's wrong with you? But there are

27:06

too many mixed. There's so many mixed race families.

27:09

Every advert is mixed race family now. It's

27:12

good, but also like, I can imagine if

27:14

you lived in Cumbria, you'd

27:16

be like, when the, I've never seen this in

27:18

my life. What are they talking about? Are

27:21

they friends? And is every family now in

27:24

the UK mixed race family? But there's no more mixed

27:26

race families in adverts and television, like actual TV shows.

27:29

There's more mixed, there's better representation

27:31

than British advertising than on British

27:34

TV. It's weird, isn't it?

27:36

It's only in talking about this now that I've realized that

27:38

I associate, I associate

27:41

adverts entirely with that. I can't really imagine an

27:43

advert without that. I would, I would almost kind

27:46

of go, who? Without a

27:48

mixed race family. Yeah. Mm. If

27:51

I saw an advert on the tube and

27:53

it was like an entirely like blonde family,

27:57

I'd be like, ugh. All

27:59

right, mate. Chill out. What

28:03

are you trying to say about this product? What

28:06

is this, Nazi soap? Like

28:09

these sort of neo-Nazi

28:12

Twitter white pride

28:14

posts now. This is how fucked my

28:16

sense of humor is now. They're the only things that made me

28:18

laugh anymore. This is fucking crazy and silly. I

28:21

saw a post by just some

28:23

random blue tick Twitter post with like an

28:25

American flag in there and the guy's wearing

28:27

a suit but also like maybe a maga

28:29

cap. Those are the

28:31

words. The picture

28:33

is like an AI image of

28:35

this Aryan Lee blonde family like

28:37

dad, mom, daughter, son. And

28:40

they're all like holding each other and looking to camera and

28:42

they're all like very blonde. They

28:45

all look Swedish. And this guy, the tag was,

28:47

it is not shameful to be white. In

28:50

fact, it's great. In

28:54

the picture of this like of

28:56

AI blonde people.

28:58

Like Kelly. What is an

29:01

AI image proof of anything? Like Tony the

29:03

Tiger. Yeah, yeah, that's why

29:05

it's funny. It's so funny I think. It was like Tony the

29:07

Tiger. Great.

29:10

That's really funny. I

29:14

really like the idea that he's recommending it as

29:16

a choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You

29:18

considered being in an all

29:20

white family. It's great. Okay.

29:24

Okay, I'll give it a go. I

29:29

know what you mean. Like it's part

29:31

of the general inshitification of Twitter, especially

29:34

on the for you page. I'll get a mixture

29:36

of like. Here's,

29:41

I'll get something like that, which

29:43

is basically just like a sort

29:45

of bizarre AI based fascist rambling.

29:48

Or I got one where a guy

29:51

was such a communist that

29:54

He thought that people who said

29:56

free to bet were right wing.

30:00

Oh. Wow okay because his anti

30:02

china would you the com yeah increase

30:04

he's in a this guy's viewed China

30:06

has already liberated Tibet by imposing communism

30:08

on it while that of old really

30:10

religion like but isn't and I was

30:12

like. One. Side kind of like.

30:15

You. Know fuck followed that line of thinking to

30:17

the to the pot of Gold in the corner

30:20

of the kids mais said that I when you

30:22

got like that at like. Okay, And

30:24

out, oh I see. Wow as fuck

30:26

and you win the award for biggest

30:28

communist on the internet today. Well done

30:31

God that as you get a bag

30:33

of grain. On get

30:35

on the subject of those kids am

30:37

placement puzzles. When I was a kid

30:40

I realized you just get instantly right

30:42

If he started the treasure and is

30:44

followed the line by doesn't make me

30:46

clever. A dumb I think it makes

30:49

you clever but sabha. Wishes

30:52

I was in it for the pleasure is in

30:54

his yeah leaders yeah you're like well I don't

30:56

want to enjoy this puzzle. El Salvador. I

31:00

think that that's a great metaphor for the price

31:02

of intelligence. Not

31:04

completely optimised this as it's a fun game.

31:07

Oh God No. Success Know it's

31:09

an exercise where I follow a line

31:11

out of amaze. I'm here to

31:13

help. I came to the restaurant they had

31:15

a problem and they asked me to help

31:17

the I was on the problem I once

31:20

did a rather through I went to the

31:22

run through event listeners my not know this

31:24

but when they trying to invent a new

31:26

like panel game for tv they get less

31:28

famous. Comedians like me to

31:31

sit in a pub or in a function room,

31:33

in an office somewhere. And. Play the game

31:35

as if we were on Tv like in a kind of

31:37

sick. Experiment. If

31:41

the format works and I did one once with

31:43

Lou Sanders and there was like a strong trivia

31:45

aspect to it. Oh gap

31:47

am and I you But you know these games are

31:49

like. It when

31:51

they're being filmed and this comedians involved. If

31:53

you get the right answer to quickly they'll ask

31:56

you to just go back and refer and

31:58

to make jokes about the answer. Yep. I'm

32:00

but I ruined it by just saying the ounces. I

32:02

knew all the answers. Or did a

32:05

way to a went way to quickly onto the

32:07

guy when it goes like this: I. Thought

32:09

I'd like in my head like it's looking back

32:11

I was an idiot. Because. The point

32:13

was just to be like. Two. Plus two

32:15

equals blank. I don't know. Two couples plus

32:17

two couples equals one hell of a holiday

32:19

argument. Murray Go! Why is a to so

32:22

curly By the way, What's that? What's with

32:24

the bent Bear the top as I call

32:26

right to what if I had to go

32:28

to and to go back early? Pressure from

32:30

one straight line for to this county bit.

32:34

And then you think is a the

32:36

buddy a straight up have you had

32:38

a three? my gosh hard as and.

32:40

And in and in the other Snus, A

32:42

whole hour of studio time? Yes, and your

32:45

Iowa was the Rss idiot they're going for.

32:49

Palaces enough autistic people can ask

32:51

the question as and I'm not

32:54

supposed answer. Which. Is annoying because

32:56

like I would it at in hindsight

32:58

I felt extra dumb cause I've written

33:00

joke so many other people on many

33:02

other successful premises and if they worked.

33:05

But. For some reason in the moment my

33:07

haunting as a getting questions answered correctly. To

33:10

overwhelm my brain. At.

33:13

This point I see enjoy doing

33:15

like straight quiz shows more. My

33:17

lighter. Honestly, I look for others because I'm

33:20

like good, just have to answer the questions

33:22

as well. Nothing. A

33:24

speaking quickly bomb But for recommends

33:26

I mentioned other the taser they

33:28

i want to see our to

33:30

see the expression is set the

33:32

tape it as an expression The

33:34

six emissions and Expressionism is i

33:36

think followed on from Impressionism. But.

33:39

It's it's it's very vibrant colors

33:41

and is meant to be expresses.

33:44

I think the Scream is like

33:46

an expression is painting because of

33:48

the ease of issue, an accuracy

33:51

and surrealism for for heightened expressions

33:53

of feeling. Yeah Am and

33:55

I went because my boy Kandinsky was

33:58

of was big part of it. The

34:01

exhibition Olive Olive early Kandinsky so

34:03

much his later stuff a thing

34:05

has been put in too many

34:07

hotels but the early stuff is

34:09

early expressing stuff is so nice

34:11

and I discovered a new paint

34:13

I love. Who worked with

34:15

him Called Gabrielle Munter Monteith Men to

34:17

Men to men to wasn't on Lot

34:20

of are you isn't it? A.

34:23

Nerd mentor, mentor I think Oh

34:25

my God. This lady Earth New

34:27

Credible Painting. Lindeman. Is he

34:29

was a German. For. the

34:31

lady get roman to yeah thinks is German.

34:34

oh I see. These

34:36

people all hung around Munich. And.

34:41

But. They were garanca can do skyn

34:43

mentor winter months it's it's it's the

34:46

double o sound and cool or stool.

34:49

Who. Oh okay, Moon to

34:51

avail moon moons guess is German

34:53

extensive. German. Expressionist painter

34:55

us Amazing! It is so beautiful I

34:57

love take a look. The stylus a

35:00

bright. Eyes Oh

35:02

Miller Miller, Anna Maria

35:04

Miller. The. I'm into. It's

35:07

an unfortunate name for a lady. Yes,

35:09

an English hit the media's month of

35:11

it as mundane as much as gabby

35:13

month is a shame. But

35:16

her paintings or anything bad. Pierre, My

35:18

goodness. Magnificent. I loved it so much

35:20

economic this person up right now. that's

35:23

how much I trust. Your recommendations. Against

35:26

Elemental. Oh I

35:28

see. yes this does fit with other stuff

35:30

he says you like in the past. Yeah.

35:34

Yeah, yeah, The Bogeys

35:36

like bold black lines

35:38

and. and broad colorful

35:40

brush strokes an honest i don't

35:42

know why a but i haven't

35:44

since i've just found discovered of

35:46

only kandinsky for myself i'm yes

35:48

slam by thought of that a

35:50

modern finance and london a highly

35:52

recommend yes what do what does

35:54

it dot to i have any

35:56

but put recommends i recommend buying

35:58

tickets for my 22nd

36:00

of June show at Bloomsbury Theatre in London

36:02

because it's the... Of course! Probably the last

36:04

time I'll be doing a show in London,

36:07

nothing else is scheduled, put it that way.

36:09

And then I'm on tour and

36:12

please pre-order my book, those are my recommends.

36:14

I recommend Pia's book too, I've been tearing

36:16

through it, I love it. I'm

36:18

learning so much. Phil's mind

36:20

is overflowing with things that I

36:23

have put in it through

36:25

a book, which is like a pipe

36:27

for the mind. It is.

36:29

It's a kind of hypnosis, a book

36:31

in a way. Yes,

36:34

it is. And the hallucination. And

36:36

force hallucination. Speaking

36:38

of force hallucinations, we should probably read some

36:40

correspondence before we finish the old episode, yeah?

36:43

Yes, absolutely. Ryan

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37:42

Ring ring. The actual email.

37:44

Phone number. The

37:48

actual email. Phone

37:53

number. Correspondence.

38:01

Well, it's a very special bit of correspondence because

38:03

we've heard from luminary

38:06

podcaster, journalist, author,

38:09

Simon Parkin. Yes, Simon

38:11

Parkin, who hosts the excellent My

38:14

Perfect Console podcast, which

38:16

we also recommend is basically Desert

38:18

Island discs for video games. It's

38:21

great. And both Pierre and I have had

38:23

an episode each. We have. So

38:26

those will be handy starting points for you, but

38:28

he's got some amazing guests, especially from like the

38:30

video game world, some incredible guests. Yeah, I mean,

38:32

astonishing, really, really incredible and very, very good stuff

38:34

all around. But

38:36

Simon is also even more

38:39

impressively a podbot. Yes,

38:41

yes. Obviously, the jewel in

38:43

his crown is that he listens to this

38:45

podcast. That's right. And

38:48

I don't know if listeners will

38:50

remember, hopefully, that you and I

38:52

discussed ages ago, I don't even

38:54

remember when, about we were discussing the

38:57

rhetoric around eating meat and stuff and people being

38:59

like, well, why don't you eat dog then? Is

39:01

that so different? One of

39:03

the main reasons that we would say that it was different is

39:05

that we didn't make them so that we could eat them. Yes.

39:09

And also we've been around

39:11

so long, we've definitely tried.

39:14

Yeah. We've definitely tried all

39:16

the meats. And there

39:19

is a reason that the

39:21

ones that have survived into our

39:23

diet have because they were the

39:25

most nutritious, the most safe, the

39:27

most reliable, the most bloodity-bloody, the

39:29

easiest to cultivate, the most efficient

39:31

to rear, bloodity-blah. Yeah. And

39:35

you can eat like

39:37

a giant rat, but then people who eat

39:39

things that you're not really supposed to eat,

39:41

like rats or scavengers, like the meat tends

39:43

to be very gamey-tangy or

39:45

gross tasting, very slimy, not

39:49

as good as meat that we know that we're supposed to eat. That's

39:52

right. And then that combination was born

39:54

in the song. The

39:56

song. There's a reason we eat the

39:58

meats we eat. from the

40:00

tops of their heads to the tips of their feet. I

40:04

remember the other words, there's a

40:06

reason we eat the meat that we eat from the

40:08

tops of their terms on the top of their heads

40:11

to the tips of their feet. There's

40:14

something so something so something a treat, there's

40:17

a reason we eat the meat that eat. I remember it was

40:19

bookended by there's a reason we eat the meat that we eat

40:22

or the meat we eat. Anyway, re

40:24

re re pack now. Rare

40:27

thing now, what can you read out

40:29

Simon's correspondence? Oh, wow. A

40:32

Wang read corresponding read corresponding did.

40:35

Yes, a rare Phil

40:37

correspondence read. Basically, I'll

40:39

summarize. Simon was

40:41

playing with some AI

40:43

music generation software. And

40:45

as as a prompt,

40:48

he put in there's a reason we eat the meat we

40:50

eat from the tops of their head to the soles of

40:53

their feet. And he asked the

40:55

AI to write a Soviet style

40:57

march with these

40:59

words and to this theme.

41:01

And yeah, I went on and

41:04

made more lyrics to

41:06

this theme. And the result is

41:08

quite extraordinary, especially to someone like

41:10

myself, an AI denier. Yes.

41:13

Yeah. Well, likewise. So

41:16

we're going to play that for you now, guys. This

41:18

is something that a robot made, a

41:21

robot's version of there's a reason we eat the

41:23

meat that we eat and the

41:25

style of a Soviet marching song. So let's give it

41:27

a quick listen now. Oh.

42:12

Brave and of. Moses

42:16

by the on. I

42:22

mean. You you

42:25

night I was never.

42:27

Convince them humanity of and to my

42:30

had the phrase united. By.

42:32

The by the bond between. Meet.

42:35

And Guy Man united by the bomb

42:37

between meet and Guy. Is.

42:39

Always has bond. yeah. I

42:43

thought that is kind of like what a kind

42:45

of lyric we'd right? I mean it is Yeah,

42:48

meet and the guy is funny and moot and

42:50

gun meat or know guy. As

42:52

Exonerate is a it, it's so

42:54

convincing. I really nice reads to

42:56

Feed the Beast meet like Rihanna

42:58

Feed The Beast? Yeah. It's

43:01

very evocative and also I am.

43:03

I really like the the tune

43:06

of them. There's. A reason.

43:08

We. Eat. Semi. Some meat we

43:11

eat yeah doesn't descend. I was ever so

43:13

ready for to go down but it's this

43:15

very uplifting that a letter that up. But.

43:17

I have a. Of yours is nice.

43:20

It is like a sign that is like

43:22

anti There's a reason we eat. Them.

43:24

It's sweet. Young. The tops

43:26

of that sells to the souls of

43:28

their feet. And is

43:31

almost as if people to jovial as

43:33

with to almost musical theater for an

43:35

iso says it much. It's. One

43:37

of those matches Where it's it's It's still

43:39

a Soviet march, but it's about the harvest.

43:41

It's because of the whole. Society was completely

43:44

militarized. You know

43:46

asylum says if I guess. Well, of course

43:48

the harvest has conducted by the army. you

43:50

know? Just. Like a normal

43:52

harvest where the people for to

43:54

the harvesting ah soldiers the of

43:57

right? Okay. Fine. Yeah.

43:59

It it's. Very am. It's.

44:01

Very acrylic painting of

44:03

a guy. With. A pig

44:06

under his arm pointing at the sun rising.

44:08

Yes, Absolutely. And holding them as size?

44:10

Yeah, those are He's singing about how there's

44:12

a reason we eat the meat sweet. To.

44:16

Try and. The

44:18

trying glorify Soviet agriculture but at the

44:20

same time trying to stop people from

44:22

asking for more variety in their diet.

44:24

That said, yeah, this them to do.

44:27

There is. Am I

44:29

like. A cow

44:32

fireman. Sam they can

44:34

only they did and that all the

44:36

taken, the dead. Am

44:38

because of mismanagement and is

44:40

only park available. Yeah. And

44:42

by the turn this into a heroic endeavor

44:44

for for the cotton for the good conrad

44:46

to a to only both as reason as

44:48

a reason. Get the me to eat they

44:50

said they said look. In

44:53

its wisdom, the Politburo has decided that

44:55

the most efficient meters park, so there's

44:57

no need to worry about all these

44:59

other decadent western animals. Yeah. You

45:02

know the reason story that is as a reason.

45:05

Lead. Me to eat pork scott meat and allow

45:07

sap to it there's no sat on chicken that's

45:09

bad and take and cows or to. Ah,

45:13

Decadent. So they go. Americans,

45:15

The base? Yeah, need I say more?

45:17

Calmer. With. The underlying threat

45:20

of don't make me say anymore or I'm gonna

45:22

send you away. Sit. Sit sit

45:24

sit Sit. Go away now because you

45:26

been talking too much. Steady

45:29

vaguely work. thank you So much So really

45:32

were against thanks. Simon.

45:34

Really, it's really it. it is it

45:36

to some spot on a something real

45:38

people. Yeah. It was quite

45:40

chilling. Is a sly robotic aspect

45:42

to the more cora seabeds. But.

45:45

I'm. Yeah. It really won me

45:47

over. When it's when it's when to that little. That.

45:50

Last of them. Meant. By

45:52

the bomb but dream meat and guy

45:54

who. Really

45:56

Really? Me and guy is code kids

45:58

here. The end. there. Yeah, it

46:01

is. And guy, it's very endearing the

46:03

whole thing. Yeah, in

46:05

a way that very few military marches

46:07

are. Well, now

46:09

Phil, it's time to go to the VIP

46:12

collectivized farm. Something

46:16

that ironically probably would have existed. VIP collectivized

46:21

farm of the bonus

46:23

part. Yes, patrons will

46:25

see you the

46:27

bonus part on Friday and everyone

46:29

else will see you next week.

46:32

But for now, love you a lot. There's

46:35

a reason we made the meat we eat.

46:37

Never forget. Long

46:39

live Bud Pod. Bye. Hey,

46:45

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