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and welcome back to the canceled

3:17

podcast. Oh, that one ate. I

3:19

know I felt that one in

3:21

my bones. Oh,

3:23

my tingle. Okay. I

3:26

am hard to monetize. No,

3:29

what I was just going to tell you guys, we were talking about

3:31

my boob job off camera. I get my

3:34

boob job day after tomorrow and coincidentally also start

3:36

my period that day. No, that happened to me

3:38

after my nose job. I swear to God, I

3:40

like directly after my nose job, I was bleeding

3:42

and I like I am going to cry but

3:44

you want to know what people are saying. People

3:47

are saying you can't even pull your own pants

3:49

down. So boy, do I have a job for

3:51

Bibi. I was just

3:53

going to say. It's so awesome though because Bibi

3:55

will do that show with a smile on her

3:57

face. Like she loves you so much. I'm

4:00

gonna be here in a second, but not kidding.

4:02

Bebe's like odd jobs is like my funniest bit

4:04

of all time. Like the fact Bebe will do

4:07

anything for a check and she is like

4:09

shameless about it. I love her. It is

4:11

my favorite thing about her. Like each week

4:14

she's like a nursing major and then the

4:16

next week she's a finance pro. And then

4:18

one time she was genuinely working as a

4:20

paralegal and she was calling herself a paralegal.

4:23

She is literally like a Disney channel character. Like

4:25

every week. She is like that girl from Austin

4:27

and Ally. Remember when it was she had a

4:29

tooth gems business for a week? No, what did

4:32

you point to me when you said Austin and

4:34

Ally? You know why? You fucking trip on mushrooms

4:36

and cuss out Ross Lynch one time. No,

4:39

one time I look over at her phone, she's trying

4:41

to get storage. She's deleting the Uber driver app. I'm

4:44

like, wait, when have you been

4:46

driving for Uber? She

4:48

is literally Jack of all trades. You were for

4:50

me for a second there. She's working for me

4:52

right now. It's great. I just,

4:55

I love that friend who's like always has

4:57

the odd job and like,

4:59

we'll do anything for a buck. She's been posting on her story too. Like, do you want

5:01

to earn money? Like are you in a pyramid scheme?

5:05

Yeah, her Instagram stories send me. I literally

5:07

never loved anyone more. If you're not following

5:09

B-Balds, you are genuinely missing out on the

5:11

roller coaster line. I think that's like, that's

5:13

the thing. Like can everybody just follow her?

5:15

Cause I don't want her to have to

5:17

have a job anymore. Same

5:20

with Paige, come on. Please, I just want to

5:22

frolic and play. That's all I want to do.

5:24

Dude, I was just talking about that. I saw

5:26

this clip of Miley Cyrus doing an interview, right?

5:28

And David Letterman was asking her, like what's your

5:31

dream life? And it got me thinking like, cause

5:33

you don't ever really think about that. Like

5:35

what is your dream life? And I really

5:38

thought to myself and like, it's not working.

5:40

My dream job is no job. No

5:42

one dreams of labor. Yeah, although. Then

5:44

it's like you marry for money and

5:46

then like you're fucked. Like

5:49

the guys are. I don't want my husband to

5:51

work either to be honest. Oh, I don't care.

5:53

Clock in babe. As

5:55

long as I am in Italy, like Northern Italy, having

5:58

a call me by your name summer. eating

6:00

a baguette, I will be so happy.

6:03

I don't know. I guess what you say today, we're in the

6:05

car and Paige goes, yeah, I want to retire by the time

6:08

I'm 25. I'm 26. I

6:11

was dying. I'm.

6:14

I feel like I would my dream. Well, what

6:16

is your dream life? Not your

6:19

dream job. Like, what's your dream life? Like, if you had

6:21

all the time in the world, like all the money, all

6:23

the resources, what would you do? Lazy, just lazy, just as

6:25

lazy as I can possibly be. Like, I'm talking like, what's

6:27

the I've fallen and I can't get up thing up the

6:30

stairs. The thing that Trevor

6:32

Wallace has in his house. Like,

6:35

just just as lazy as I possibly can be.

6:37

No, I think you would get depressed. It could

6:39

be like adventurous, lazy. Like, let's

6:41

go here and be lazy and then let's

6:44

go here and be like, oh, yeah, way

6:46

in different terrains. Yeah. You do

6:48

love a good rot. Just as much horizontal time

6:50

as possible. That's my dream life. What about you,

6:52

Paige? I'm not kidding. Oh, my

6:55

God. Bed sores. I

6:57

first thing I would do is get a horse. Not kidding. That's

7:00

all I want. That's all I want. I just want to be

7:02

able to ride. I would just do you

7:04

want a horse? You're riding.

7:06

She's riding. Look at that. Oh,

7:09

my God. Oh,

7:12

my God. But imagine like modern home and it's

7:14

like it has gold accents, like gold hardware. Like,

7:16

why don't that? Whoa. That could be my new

7:18

business. Like, why don't we have? I've

7:20

fallen and I can't get up chairs. Like,

7:23

why are they all white and plastic? I don't know.

7:25

I feel like that's a good one, though. I like

7:27

like people who are really rich, but like do those

7:29

kinds of things with their money, like

7:31

have just a beautiful ranch or something. I want

7:33

to have like a Jane Goodall era, like where

7:35

I'm just fucking posted up with the chimps. Oh,

7:37

or orca's. Orca's.

7:40

And you know, I'm about to go do that. Are you

7:42

supposed to do it at the end of tour, but I

7:44

was burnt out. Wait,

7:48

you didn't go on your orca trip. You would

7:50

have known about it. I was supposed to go

7:52

save the day. I was supposed to go save

7:54

the orca's, but I'm I was burnt out from

7:56

first of all, save. Well, it's not anything we

7:59

they are. are saving the orcas, but it's like

8:01

an excursion, like we're learning about the orcas. There's

8:03

a dog, I told you guys, the

8:05

dog that like sniffs out orca feces at the bow of

8:08

the boat. It's like how do

8:10

they get promoted from drug dog to like

8:12

orca dog? Orca shit sniffer. It's really like

8:14

so fucking crazy that animals can do that.

8:16

Like Murphy doesn't know her name. Like how

8:18

do they train a dog to do that?

8:20

I don't know. Yeah, right, like this is

8:22

what whale shit smells like. Oh

8:25

my God, well I didn't know it was supposed to already

8:27

have happened. I thought it was still like in the works.

8:30

It's in San Francisco, so we ended in San Francisco,

8:32

so it's gonna just stay, but it

8:36

was not the time. Well guys, subscribe, get her

8:38

money so she can go watch orcas. I'm

8:41

going for free. My favorite thing. Unsubscribe. My

8:45

favorite thing about Orca Gate was what

8:47

you did for those two hats.

8:49

Okay, so we have a meet

8:51

and greet, right? And this girl brings us

8:53

handmade crochet hats. Like mine was peppa and

8:55

yours was a whale. And you were like,

8:58

I need another one in case I bring

9:00

a plus one Orca watching so that we

9:02

can be matching. But this girl's in a

9:04

random city and you had to like. We

9:06

were long past her city, so her sister

9:08

came like three cities later

9:10

and I set her up. And threw out

9:12

the secondary Orca hat. We had to like

9:14

give her special treatment. We

9:17

have to, we just did. We

9:19

wanted to give her special treatment. We had

9:21

to. Wait,

9:23

like she didn't just ship it in a box. Like she shipped herself with

9:25

the hat. She showed up to the meet and greet with the hat. That's

9:28

sweet. It was so sweet. Now I have two

9:30

and no plus one. If you

9:32

want me to, I'll be the dog. I'll

9:35

be the dog. You know I got a honker

9:37

on me. I have a drug dog

9:39

nose though. Like I can smell anything from a mile

9:41

away. The other night in the club, I swear to

9:43

God on the Bible. I was like someone over there

9:45

is doing cocaine. And like I could smell it. Dude,

9:47

I will be wearing. That sounds like I did. I

9:50

could smell it. I will be wearing

9:52

a perfume and she'll go, there's lavender in

9:54

that. I'm like, no, there's not. I like

9:56

check the last note in the perfume and

9:58

it's lavender. Just anything. I can smell anything

10:01

like always. I don't know why. I'm really,

10:03

when I'm on my period, I'm really sensitive

10:05

to smells. What? That's

10:07

the thing. It's just funny. I don't know. I imagined her

10:09

like on her period on the edge of the boat, like

10:11

looking for the whale feces. Why?

10:14

Because you could smell better. Oh, oh yeah.

10:17

Okay. Sorry.

10:19

Sometimes I get lost, you know, a little bit of a

10:21

delay. I need to talk

10:24

about something before we

10:26

even just continue to podcast

10:28

because anxiety can't

10:30

even describe it. Okay. I

10:32

woke up today to

10:36

death threats. Like actual. Like actual, like

10:38

it's fate on site. I'm going to

10:40

beat the fuck out of you when

10:42

I see you because

10:44

of something I said on the canceled podcast. On

10:47

some real serious, like real life shit. I

10:49

have to take a bodyguard everywhere I go in

10:51

LA. Now for like the next like six

10:54

months, like actually, like I like I'm. I'm

10:58

going to end up like dismembered in a little

11:00

Caesar's dumpster. I swear to God. It's like, I

11:02

personally have no comment ever

11:04

again. Here's the thing. I feel like

11:06

we are normally talking about like a

11:08

IG model or Bob gate or someone

11:10

that I genuinely like can size up.

11:12

And I'm in a place right now

11:14

where it's like, I'm going to get

11:17

jumped by like seven people I can't

11:19

take. It's so bad. And I'm scared

11:21

to say like anything else, but like,

11:23

this is honestly in the history of

11:25

the canceled podcast. The first time someone

11:27

has like threatened the fuck out of

11:29

me for something I said slash like

11:31

I'm actually afraid. And I know they

11:33

mean business. Well, maybe we just do the

11:35

disclaimer that we don't do any research before speaking

11:37

on the canceled podcast. I get all my information

11:39

off of TikTok. Yeah. And we, you know what?

11:41

You should just take it all with a grain

11:44

of salt. And sometimes we take it too far.

11:47

And it's just, I always assume cause

11:49

it's, I'm the type of person

11:51

where people are constantly like shitting on me and

11:53

commenting on what I'm doing and saying. So I

11:56

just take it all with a grain of salt.

11:58

Cause to me, it's like, I know. to

12:00

everyone else, it's like a game. And I

12:02

also just have a very deprecating sense of

12:04

humor. So I often do find it funny

12:06

when someone's like laughing

12:08

at me a little and

12:10

some people don't. Oh

12:13

my God. And

12:16

then it's like, here's the thing. Like I really woke up

12:18

to someone saying like, like next time I see you, I'm

12:20

beating the fuck out of you. Wait, actually let me, can

12:22

I see the screenshots? I didn't even see what she said

12:24

to you. I only saw what she said to me. Oh

12:26

no, you're a weirdo ass bitch. And

12:28

when I see you, I'm a beat your ass. I'm

12:31

more concerned about the last message before that being

12:33

miss you too, let's get to get you soon

12:35

please. We're

12:38

getting murdered. This happy

12:41

last episode. And when I see you, I'm a beat

12:43

your ass. Wait, mine

12:45

was literally worse. Like what did I do?

12:48

Sorry, your plans fell through. I

12:53

got forgiven. She's personally my

12:55

friend. Really? Brooke, crazy.

12:58

Really quickly. You joined this because of

13:00

her. It

13:02

didn't stop. What

13:05

are you saying? I get my ass beat and you guys

13:07

enjoy every second. I don't know if Brooke joins with

13:09

them. I form an alliance. I tell

13:11

them exactly where you guys are. Like

13:14

it went on for hours today. No end

13:16

in sight. Actually there was an end. Well,

13:18

I personally value your life. Today I responded

13:20

to the OG text and I was like,

13:23

is it really that bad? Like that's what

13:25

I said. And the person said, excuse bitch,

13:27

the fucking nerve of you. What

13:29

the fuck do you think? I

13:33

wish I could say more, but we've already

13:35

said too much. And then I'm in the

13:37

car and someone else we were talking about

13:39

at the live shows, like gives me a

13:41

call and I'm like, oh my, like

13:43

it sucks because this podcast truly does just

13:45

create an environment. I know that you're experiencing the

13:47

same feeling right now with Bob Gate, where it's

13:50

like, you're talking to all of your friends. And

13:52

I'm sitting here with my best friends and it's

13:54

like, yeah, we're shooting the shit, but like it

13:56

isn't. We aren't shooting. No, we're getting shot. We're

14:01

just trying to kiki. We're just trying to

14:03

talk shit and giggle. But on

14:07

some level we do have to take some

14:09

accountability. We can be entertaining without having to

14:11

talk shit about people. I

14:13

know it's just like real things happen. Either

14:15

A, real things actually happen and I want

14:17

to talk about them because they happen. Or

14:19

I'm commenting on something that is public information.

14:21

Yeah, if something's going around and everybody's talking

14:23

about it, I want to talk about it.

14:25

Speaking of. Oh. Meow.

14:28

Ew. Oh, what

14:30

do you think? What

14:34

happened? Dude, she was living in the high palace and

14:36

so was the cat. And then like, I'll give you

14:38

all the rooms with little huddy and the cat got

14:40

out. Yeah, so I'll give you all the information that

14:42

I know. That what she said was that she was

14:44

switching rooms. She was the only one who hadn't switched

14:46

rooms yet. So she was switching rooms. OK. Hold

14:48

on. Yes, she was in a content house. Why were

14:51

they playing musical rooms? I think maybe to make it

14:53

fair or something. I'm sure some of the rooms were

14:55

better than others. Oh, like you got 10 Ms this

14:57

week. You got the most live gifting so you get

14:59

the master. Eevee, I don't know. I've never been in

15:01

a content house. Double sinks. Because

15:04

of the cowboy hat. Like what?

15:06

OK. So

15:08

she was moving rooms. And she

15:11

came back into her room when she was like moving furniture

15:13

and the back door was open and her cat was gone.

15:15

OK. So that was what she knew.

15:17

But then. For the viewers, we're talking

15:20

about Reagan 777. Yeah,

15:22

we're talking about Reagan's cat gate. OK. And

15:25

then. Six. So more. Sorry.

15:31

Sorry. Having to get it in.

15:34

Having to get it in like at a low tone is

15:37

so funny to me. Just whispering it to

15:39

myself. So

15:41

cat goes missing. Never sees the

15:43

cat again. OK. She was very distraught about it. So

15:46

she says. Then that

15:48

was years ago. Recently a clip surfaces

15:50

from a podcast. It's like LeRae, Antonio.

15:52

Everyone's talking about I know an influencer

15:54

who killed their cat. OK. And they're

15:56

like oh my god. And they bleep

15:58

her name. talking about it.

16:00

I have no good comment here. She had

16:03

to address it because she was like why

16:05

is everyone saying I killed my cat my

16:07

cat ran away blah blah blah. So then

16:09

the rooming killed your cat like they're accusing

16:11

her of like Domery. Yes. Yes. Oh TW

16:13

Domery. Oh geez another call. Oh no. Then

16:17

the roommates came forward and like

16:19

one of them said like yeah the cat was super neglected

16:22

you could tell the cat wasn't doing well and

16:24

another came forward I think today to say

16:27

that he was the one who

16:29

stole the cat. He and

16:31

his mother decided the cat was not in good shape

16:34

so he opened the back door he stole the cat.

16:36

He lived in the house? Yeah. He

16:38

framed the cat running away to like rescue the cat

16:40

and get it help. But this is someone living in

16:42

the house doing that? Yeah. I'm always in support of

16:44

that. I love the TikToks where people like see a

16:46

little dog like in a cage outside and then they

16:48

steal it. I love that shit. Okay. I agree with

16:51

that. But what happened was he took it to the

16:53

vet and he said they said it was

16:55

in horrible condition whatever and they suggested that he put it

16:57

down but he decided to take it home and hope that

16:59

he could get it. And then it died. So

17:03

that's all that I know about it. But I'm

17:05

concerned. Do you know why it died? No and he

17:07

didn't say either and he didn't say usually they were

17:09

at the vet's they don't usually don't like just say

17:11

you got to put it down they'll say you put

17:13

it down or you can do this like what was

17:16

wrong with the cat. Well some of the roommates were

17:18

saying like she had it locked in a closet and

17:20

she like wouldn't I don't know

17:22

like take care of it. The fur was getting matted

17:24

the cat would have seizures often and then she responded

17:26

saying when she got the cat it like already had

17:28

it. And then she

17:30

said like why wouldn't you

17:32

take it to the vet

17:34

like why did you wait

17:37

so long. I don't know

17:39

and like I saw videos of the cat like

17:41

the last videos that they had walking

17:43

wobbly and stuff. I don't know it's fucked

17:45

up. It's I'm the biggest

17:47

cat lover in the world but I also like oh my

17:50

god like I guess that you just like hope that no

17:52

one is neglecting an animal. Yeah. And

17:54

I just especially because I don't know why

17:56

I'm not a cat. And I just especially because

17:58

like. Well, yeah,

18:00

like cats are decently easy. So it's like if you

18:02

love this cat and you want it, like why would

18:05

you get it to not, you just hope she wasn't

18:07

and that she's telling the truth. It's just such a

18:09

good classic case of he said, she said. And it's

18:11

like going back and forth. And the matted first thing,

18:13

it's like it's a long haired cat. Yeah, and like

18:15

she'll give evidence and like the roommate will give evidence

18:18

and so very back and forth. There's like a whole,

18:20

you know what we need? Read it, you know what

18:22

we need? You know what we need? A pet psychic.

18:24

We do. Alexis Oakley has a

18:26

good one and I'm... Oh.

18:30

Yeah, she does. Oh. I'm

18:33

gonna use it. This is top. We need a pet psychic.

18:35

Cause we need to talk to seven. If

18:38

I had cold hard facts, I would be literally

18:40

ready to rip this girl apart. Okay. Because

18:42

I'm the biggest cat lover ever. Oh. But to

18:45

be accused of something like that is such a crazy accusation.

18:47

I need to know the fact. We

18:49

need concrete evidence. Do you guys remember when that

18:52

girl Brooke Houts. Posted herself unlisted, beating her dog.

18:54

Oh. No, she posted,

18:56

she accidentally posted the unedited YouTube video

18:58

and she was literally beating her dog.

19:00

I remember that. Like yesterday I was

19:03

so fucking furious. Yeah.

19:06

And people were mixing me up with her. Brooke

19:08

following up with her. I was like. That,

19:10

oh my God. There's nothing that makes me actually

19:12

more fucking sick on this planet than animal abusers.

19:14

Because like animals are just the sweetest souls. Helpless

19:16

sweetest souls. And you have to be like actually demonic.

19:19

There has to be something demonic about you. If you're

19:21

gonna be like a person. You are a serial killer.

19:23

That's just what it is. But yeah, all that to

19:25

say, I really, really, really

19:27

fucking hope that it's

19:29

not true. And I really. I hope so too.

19:31

And I mean, yeah. I can't imagine being accused

19:33

of something like that because even if it's wrong,

19:36

like people are gonna remember it forever and probably

19:38

say it to her forever. So. Oh

19:40

my God. And if she actually isn't guilty of that

19:42

and like imagine having like. That's what I'm saying to

19:44

all of them. Yeah, but even

19:46

if we were to come out tomorrow that it was

19:48

completely false, you know what I mean? That's just how

19:51

the internet works. People are always gonna say that to

19:53

her. Oh my gosh. That's sad if it's not true.

19:55

That is really fucking sad. God, I hope it's not

19:57

true. Me too. I just like. I

19:59

don't like. And she's like sweet and doing her

20:01

mukbangs like you just want to believe that people

20:04

are good I don't know. It's I don't know

20:06

if she did that fucker obvious 100% on site.

20:08

Yeah I have

20:10

come people comment on my shit sometimes too though Like

20:12

being like you neglect you why even get a cat

20:15

when you know you travel so much and stuff and

20:17

like knowing how I treat Murph I'm like the

20:19

fucking nerve I got a comment

20:22

this morning saying I can't believe I with all

20:24

that money you're feeding her Purina I

20:26

saw that I made the biggest scene It's

20:29

like the mom shaming is crazy Love

20:32

that cat more than your first born when

20:34

you're saying like how fucking frustrating I'm really

20:36

like a layman yawn and like it's PR

20:38

Yeah But for our writers to comment on

20:40

like you're like how you treat your own

20:42

animal It's like like if I walked in

20:45

your house and Murphy was getting an IV

20:47

like I wouldn't even blink I wouldn't blink

20:49

twice, you know, and I a lash lift Like

20:51

she doesn't need one. She's literally beautiful You

20:55

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today's episode of the Cancelled

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Podcast. I

23:41

think it would be fun if we talked about

23:44

Stassi Baby's birthday party for a second. Oh yeah,

23:46

that was fun. Yeah. Tana did

23:48

me a little make a wish situation and she introduced me

23:50

to Emma Chamberlain. It

23:53

was so, I love her so, so, so much.

23:56

I'm not kidding, Kylie Jenner is right here. You know what I

23:58

mean? But Emma walked in and I was like. I

24:00

was so gagged. Yeah, I don't blame you.

24:03

And she was like, bless her

24:05

heart, but she was just, she was lying

24:07

to me at Tana. Just lying. I

24:09

just love the type of bitch who's like, we

24:11

have to get dinner. And it's like, I won't

24:13

even hang you up. She's like, I'm obsessed with

24:16

you guys. Your podcast is so, she was like,

24:18

she was so complimentary, but I wanted to be

24:20

like, Emma, it's okay. You deserve better. Yeah, yeah,

24:22

yeah, save it. Genuinely. You don't want to. Save

24:24

your breath. I really thought it was

24:26

gonna be like a huge party and we got

24:28

there early. We were like the first six people

24:30

there. Yeah, I want to hear everything. And it

24:32

was, it was like super intimate and really great.

24:34

I feel like I've partied a lot with that

24:36

group of people over the years. And this

24:39

was like the first time we're like walking in.

24:42

Everyone felt really grown. It felt wholesome. Like no

24:44

one was hammered. Like it was a

24:46

really nice like chill LA event. And it, I'm

24:48

trying to dip my toes in the water of

24:50

like going out and going to things again. And

24:53

like, you know what I mean? And I feel

24:55

like that was like a good, it's so funny.

24:57

I almost wore like a fucking gown. Well,

25:00

she was gonna wear a super sparkly dress. I go,

25:02

that's a birthday dress, but Bessie, it's not your birthday.

25:04

I looked like it was my birthday. And then I

25:06

showed it up and like all the cool girls were

25:08

like cool girls. And like leather and

25:10

Levi's. Oh my God, thank God.

25:12

No. I was also the whole night,

25:14

it's funny. Cause we were one of the first like 10

25:16

people there. And the first 10 people, it was like, you,

25:18

me, Harry Jowsey, Lorraine, Stasi

25:21

and her like immediate group. So

25:23

it was like Olivia O'Brien and

25:26

like Sydney Carlson and

25:28

Devin Carlson and Kylie. And Kylie's just like

25:31

roaming around like. I'm like, do people know

25:33

she's in here? Like she feels too famous

25:35

to be anywhere. I literally anywhere. It's so

25:37

crazy. And I like, I had the whole,

25:39

I've talked to her and I've gone up

25:41

to her a million times and she's always

25:43

very nice to me. And like, you

25:45

know, we've taken our photos in the past and whatever,

25:48

but after Stormy Lock Screen

25:50

Gate. Right. Which

25:53

is just up there in my like most wild,

25:55

never thought it would happen scandals. First of all,

25:57

you know what I mean? I

25:59

vow. to just leave that

26:01

family alone. You know what I mean?

26:03

Just like, just stop it, Tana. Okay,

26:06

like. I really, it's so tough, cause

26:08

what a cute photo that was. I really, like,

26:11

and I've always just made my lock screen like

26:13

cute or funny photos and it was like. Photos

26:15

that make you smile. Yeah, and like, but it's

26:17

like also. But I get when it's someone else's

26:19

kid. But I also was at a Diablo Chris

26:21

Miles concert during Halloween in a slutty blue powerpuff

26:24

costume on stage with my lock screen out and

26:26

it's like. Is that how they found out? Yeah.

26:29

No, no, no. It was a photo of me and E-cat

26:31

19. Stop. Where

26:33

is he now? He rest in peace. Not

26:35

kidding. And yeah, and then they were commenting whatever.

26:37

And then over time, like I'd seen them all

26:39

again and it was like, it all explained to

26:42

me and Stoss and I were super like good

26:44

and fine and it just wasn't a big deal

26:46

anymore. But I still was like, know

26:49

your place, Tana. Right. Okay, it was

26:51

nice of them all to be like, why the fuck did you do

26:53

that? But we're cool. Like, you know what I mean? Uh-huh. And

26:56

so I was like, I'm just gonna leave Kylie alone tonight.

26:59

Yeah, walk on the shelves. We finally went to the bathroom,

27:01

Brooke and I, and we like came out and she was

27:03

right there and she like said hi to me and it

27:06

was just, she was just so nice and like. What? That's

27:08

so crazy. I just felt like she really didn't have to

27:10

do that. Like really didn't have to like say

27:13

hi to me and be nice. And like we

27:15

were talking about like all, like

27:17

I was talking about not drinking. We were talking

27:19

about just being like grandmas and she was like

27:21

the family group chat and like making little jokes

27:23

and like she was so cute. We were talking

27:26

about social anxiety, like how you replay interactions the

27:28

next day. Kylie has social anxiety. I know Kylie,

27:30

you don't know the way that I'm gonna replay

27:32

this in my head tomorrow. No, I swear to

27:34

God. I'm gonna need to be sedated. I said

27:36

something about anxiety and I swear she said, what's

27:39

anxiety? And in my head I was like, there

27:41

is that, like of course

27:43

you've never had anxiety. You're Kylie Jenner.

27:45

Like that's so iconic. Like, you know,

27:47

whatever she does, she just wakes up

27:49

and she's like. She's like, I'm fine.

27:51

Yes and like, so fucking iconic. I'm

27:53

like, I already like hyperanalyzed every interaction that I have

27:55

and I'm standing there. It's like Carter, Kylie. I'm like,

27:57

I'm never gonna live. Like I can't even wake up.

28:00

tomorrow I would be too afraid to speak I was

28:02

like I maybe said two words and then I spiraled

28:05

I'm like the opposite like when someone makes me nervous I'll

28:07

like over talk and I felt like she was just like

28:09

laughing at my little jokes and it was nice I was

28:11

like you're kidding me and she looks so cute and like

28:13

her she like barely wears makeup now and she just I

28:16

love her she looked like I don't know how to explain

28:18

it I feel like all of the other times that I've

28:21

been face to face with her talking to her she's

28:24

always really looked like you

28:26

know what I mean like when I when someone says

28:28

Kylie Jenner like you picture like King Kylie or you

28:30

have like a certain picture and she looked like

28:33

not real like truly like AI like

28:36

just like I'd never seen her and been like you

28:40

don't look real like you look like like

28:42

Madame Tussauds like figure of you like this

28:44

isn't real like it was it

28:46

was just wild to me but I

28:48

love I'm trying to think Rosalie was just running

28:50

around with a bouquet of flowers like fuck it

28:52

was it was really it was like

28:55

a really good night it was like I felt like we got

28:57

like VIP passes into what's

29:00

like never getting you guys are

29:03

like we went to Stasi's birthday like

29:08

Stasi's birthday party I'm swamping around in

29:10

we how what happened how was it

29:13

oh my fucking god okay so I was supposed to

29:15

go on a date with this boy Timmy right met

29:17

him on Raya oh he's another gay no no no

29:19

not in we how we were gonna go out in

29:21

Studio City but then of course Ty Collins texted me

29:23

he goes we're going out tonight and I said to

29:25

cancel the date dates off we're going on

29:28

the date for ties like

29:30

you're never gonna find love at all no

29:32

I have the love of my life right

29:36

so you go out in we hope of course

29:38

I got in we how in kale ties

29:40

cousin is here in town in this he

29:43

is a tornado like picture the Tasmanian devil

29:45

that is kale Collins it is so funny

29:47

that Ty has a cousin and he is

29:49

actually like like kale if you're watching this

29:51

please please I can't even take one more

29:53

person being mad at me but like I'm

29:55

so afraid of him like

29:58

I won't go if he's there Like he's

30:00

like that insane. Really? He's insane, but

30:02

he is so fucking funny and also

30:04

can just be amazing. So it was

30:06

me, Ty Cale, and then Cale's literal

30:09

army of gays. And when I tell you, I went

30:11

out with like eight twinks. I was a twink handler

30:13

all night. I had them on leashes. And

30:16

we went to the Abbey, and there was one point

30:19

me and Ty are just doing our thing. We're like

30:21

sitting under the heat lamp just going, I love you.

30:23

I love you for 30 minutes. Not

30:25

kidding. I turn around, and I see five

30:27

of these gays standing in a circle, getting

30:30

passed around, just taking turns, making out with

30:32

each other, and making out with random gays.

30:35

Is it more fulfilling for you to have a night

30:37

of making out with eight gays than one straight man?

30:39

1,000 percent. How

30:42

many gay men equals one straight man in your? One.

30:46

Yeah. Oh,

30:48

the one in one? I just feel like if

30:50

you have a good. To me, it's better. Yeah. It's

30:53

more fulfilling. I love when the gays love

30:55

me too. It just means way more than a straight man

30:58

ever loving me. Yeah, of course. It's like getting approval from

31:01

girls over guys. Yeah. It's

31:03

just top tier compliment. I have a way better

31:05

night with the gays every single time. And it's

31:07

just like it's so fun. We go out and

31:09

we just dance. It's like Charlie XCX playing. We're

31:11

spinning each other around just taking shots. It's

31:14

peak. Versus going to a hide

31:17

or something, and everyone just stands there like this.

31:19

Right. Or going on a first date, it's so

31:21

awkward. I don't know what to talk about. I'm

31:24

doing flips to do a leap up. We

31:28

need to be going on dates. We should go on at least one date a

31:30

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37:01

l-u-m-e-d-e-o-d-o-r-a-n-t.com. Listen,

37:04

I know we have our Pete Davidson lore. Okay, I

37:06

need to start with this by the way. I get

37:08

tagged in this every single day, and

37:10

I just wanna say once again for the thousandth time, I

37:13

thought that you telling him that you were on mushrooms would

37:17

win 1,000% tenfold. 100%

37:20

I do, I do. Granted,

37:23

I was on drugs at the time, and

37:25

it didn't work. I

37:27

never was trying to fuck it up for you. I'm

37:29

always like, if I can't fuck someone, someone has to.

37:32

And you know I live and die on that hill.

37:35

But as you know, he also has

37:37

been my celebrity crush for years and years of my

37:40

life. I'm taken, first of all.

37:43

And I've given up on all

37:45

of that. Like, you know what I mean? I don't

37:47

care. I hear about people talking to him, and I'm

37:49

excited for them and whatever. But

37:52

the other night, I ran

37:54

into one of Pete's really good friends,

37:56

like best friends. And I was

37:58

talking to them for a while. They brought up

38:00

me loving him. They were like, I know you love Pete.

38:03

And I was like, yeah. And they were like, you

38:05

know that he knows you exist, right?

38:08

And I'm like, say

38:11

more. She's like, OK. Obviously,

38:13

in that situation, you want to get the most

38:15

information out of the person telling you that, right?

38:17

So it's not going to be like, oh my

38:19

god, no. Because then it was also someone that

38:21

I know is scared of

38:23

this podcast. So I just wasn't

38:25

going to act, too. You know what I mean?

38:27

So I'm acting. Oh, really? Yeah, I was like,

38:29

oh, yeah, no, I know he knows about me.

38:32

In my head, I'm doing fucking cartwheels, shitting on

38:34

the floor, dying. But I'm

38:36

like, yeah, no, I know. Me and Pete, we

38:38

go way back, right? They tell me. It

38:44

hurts. God, it hurts on so many

38:46

fucking levels. What is it

38:48

that in regular conversation, Pete

38:50

Davidson refers to me as

38:53

Tana Muguru? I'm

38:59

never going to call you anything else. Ever

39:01

again. You are Tana Muguru until the

39:04

day I die. He canceled with Tana

39:06

Muguru. I'm like

39:08

retching right now. I'm like, I'm

39:10

literally retching. Because that means

39:12

that every single time I've ever said that

39:15

my dream day is him hitting me with

39:17

a semi-truck, he's like, he's seen it. Oh,

39:19

not Tana Muguru again. Yeah, like, oh my

39:21

god. Oh my god, it

39:24

hurts so bad. That's awful. It literally hurts

39:26

so bad. Oh, god. Like,

39:34

and there's something about it. Oh my god, I have

39:36

to rewind. Very warranted reaction. I swear to god. There's

39:40

something about it. Like, let's say

39:42

he didn't know of me that well, and he

39:45

was calling me like Tana Monjow, right? Like, that

39:47

doesn't hurt his back. Like, Muguru. It

39:49

feels intense. I mean, he made it. Well,

39:51

that's kind of cute. He gave you

39:53

a cute little pet name.

39:56

I wanted to give you a nickname. Cute little

39:58

pet name is like Tana Banana. Tana,

40:00

Moogadoo, Moogadoo.

40:06

That is like your swamp name. I'm

40:10

going to throw up. I'm literally not even kidding. I'm like,

40:12

retching. It's really tough. Amari has been

40:14

laughing at me for 72 hours straight.

40:17

It sounds like something Amari would have made up himself,

40:19

honestly. Yeah. That is

40:21

her alter ego. There's just something about like

40:23

your celebrity crush, like knowing about you and giving

40:26

you like a dismissive ass. Like, oh, there

40:28

she is again, nickname. That like, unlive

40:30

with the bull. Like,

40:33

I just I can't I literally can't believe it. I'm

40:35

so I'm never talking about him again. I'm so I'm

40:37

sorry. This is the last time you're ever going to

40:39

hear from her. Take a good

40:41

long look. He's like,

40:43

no, I'm not even watching. This

40:47

is set in his group chat. They're all

40:50

laughing. They're all laughing at us. I'm like,

40:52

I know. I'm mewing. I'm mewing. Wait,

40:56

did you know that was funny? Oh, I know you said

40:58

I was going. Oh, my God. It's

41:01

OK. There's other people like

41:03

your boyfriend. Yes. I know. I love

41:05

him literally so much. And I like

41:08

I swear to God, if in some

41:10

dream world, you know, like Pete

41:12

ever did walk up to me and walk me, I would. And

41:14

I love him a cot. Like, you know what I mean? It's

41:16

just like, yeah. Like

41:18

that, like that's never not like worse. No. And

41:20

that's just never he calls me Tana Muguru. I

41:23

don't get like I could be married. Like, that's what I

41:26

just am the druggie. I'm

41:29

just I'm like, thank God I still have my

41:31

turn. Please. I got to

41:33

do it. It's really easy to get a hold of these

41:36

days. That's what I'm hearing. I'm

41:38

going to put me in contact. But I

41:40

just literally shut up, Tana shut up. I

41:42

just keep saying more sentences. Stop word vomit.

41:44

It's like, oh, my God. Speaking of Pete

41:46

Davidson's friends, I made up with my son. That's

41:48

crazy. You know what? Classic case of your best friend

41:50

dying on the hill for you. And then you that's

41:52

like me and you with Mr. Big like I like

41:54

want to death threaten him. And then he like, yeah,

41:57

it's like she'll tell me all

41:59

these horrible things. I'll go on this rampage

42:01

about how he's a short, stinky, old,

42:03

new man or something that I probably

42:05

wouldn't have said otherwise. And now it's

42:07

like they're friends and I just- And

42:09

now you have to- Yup. But-

42:13

Tell us what happened. It's the classic case of like best

42:15

friends. Like we all do it. Like you go off on

42:17

the man and then they're cool again. Yeah, of course. Of

42:19

course. I mean, it's been a year. I think

42:22

that, you know what got me is when he said to me, like I

42:24

was like, Maude, you did this, this, this, and this. And I really

42:26

ate with everything I said, you know? I think that it was a

42:28

really classic case of two

42:30

people in the wrong in a lot of ways, you know?

42:33

And I probably didn't need to take it to

42:35

the podcast, but unfortunately- We just do. Yeah.

42:39

But also he just, unfortunately

42:41

in my life, like when we were really

42:43

good, I think we were amazing, so passionate,

42:45

so in love. And then like if he

42:47

ever hurt me or I felt hurt by

42:49

the situation, I become

42:52

someone I don't know. Like with him

42:54

in that case. You know what I mean? That was

42:57

what it was, like I just, you know, coming

42:59

and sitting down and airing everything out and being

43:01

really angry and all of it. Like you know

43:03

what I mean? I don't know. But so

43:05

I tell him all these things and he looks at me and he was

43:08

like, Tana, you literally, I sent you flowers and

43:10

three days later you tweeted that you sucked dick in a

43:12

Kane's drive through. And like I wasn't

43:14

in the Kane's drive through. And nothing about

43:16

that was even false. Valid

43:19

honestly, he kind of ate. And honestly, I think

43:22

people did try to tell you in the moment when

43:25

it was going on and you were like, well, it's

43:27

my job. I was

43:30

like, this is my job. And

43:32

I thought it was funny. I was like, you

43:34

know, three finger combo, box combo, Kane's, I suck

43:36

dick. You see the joke. You

43:40

know what's so funny? I

43:42

was with her in Paris when she was like I

43:44

was with her when she was making her whole breakup

43:46

text to Maude. And I'm not kidding. First

43:48

of all, she brought out the laptop. So she was the

43:50

length of that. It was like the dot dot

43:52

dot message you had to click to open. But

43:54

we're listening to a vampire on repeat.

43:56

She is seething. She is in her

43:58

Olivia Rodrigo. Olivia

44:01

Rodrigo era. She's going, okay, can

44:03

you proofread this? I'm

44:06

reading her text and one of the parts is how do

44:08

you lie without flinching? That's

44:11

plagiarism. She

44:15

was like stealing lyrics from Olivia Rodrigo

44:17

and placing them in the text. Honestly,

44:20

resourceful and amazing. I love that about

44:22

you. How do

44:24

you lie without flinching? How

44:26

do you lie? I

44:30

was going to try to defend myself, but there's

44:32

nothing you can say. There's

44:35

just nothing you can say. I'm going to throw up.

44:37

Well, that's happy though, because I don't like to have loose

44:40

ends. I

44:42

feel like that's good to have. I agree. Good

44:44

relationships with everybody you have history with. Oh my

44:46

God, I'm sweating. I think time kills all women.

44:50

I'm happy to be cool and be able to

44:53

root for his success and mean it and

44:55

stuff, and take accountability as

44:57

well for my actions. I

44:59

don't think he smells even. I'm

45:02

like, and he's not even old. He's actually

45:04

not old. You know what she told me the other day? He's 36. Oh,

45:07

she made you made me think he was like 55. I

45:11

thought he was like setting up for an AARP

45:13

card. Mr. Big is the same

45:15

age, literally. I need to talk about

45:18

my Vegas trip a little because God, this

45:20

whole podcast is so fucking embarrassing for me.

45:23

And it gets worse. It gets

45:25

worse. It gets so much worse.

45:30

I'm going to play it

45:32

on us. I just went to Vegas. Obviously, you know, I

45:34

like to dabble in gambling. Okay. And

45:36

I just want the people at home

45:38

to know, like I feel like

45:40

whenever I'm talking about something serious, like

45:43

gambling or just serious vices, like the

45:46

house is not going under. I'm not Bruno Marsing

45:48

my shit. Okay. Like I

45:50

allocate, I allocate a certain

45:52

amount of money and I'm never going to go over

45:55

that. And like, I work to have that money to

45:57

play and I enjoy myself. And sometimes I will take

45:59

it a few. thousand dollars further and like feel

46:01

like shit about it. You know what I mean? I

46:03

was saying this to Ari the other day that like

46:05

with gambling, it's one of those things where it's like

46:07

when you, if I were to make

46:09

a hundred dollars working and win a hundred dollars

46:12

gambling, the hundred dollars I win gambling, it feels

46:14

like a hundred thousand dollars, you know, like it

46:16

same. And that goes for the same side of

46:18

like losses. You know what I mean? Like if

46:20

I lose a hundred dollars gambling, it feels like

46:22

I lose a hundred thousand. Yeah.

46:25

Yes. Sorry. My contact hurts so bad. I'm

46:30

like, I'm watching you talk like this. I

46:32

lost these two bitches. No, I'm sorry. No, I'm

46:35

just again, I want to delay. I'm going to

46:37

figure it out, but just get you probably have

46:39

the money. You're up. But that was

46:41

just a whole preface so people don't start making

46:43

like whole ass threads and whatever, like everything's fine.

46:45

I don't know what a thread is. So I

46:48

go to Vegas with the intent to gamble as

46:50

I always do. Right. And I brought myself a

46:52

cash amount and only my credit

46:54

card and my credit card doesn't work in

46:56

the casino. So I'm like, this is perfect.

46:58

Like I've set myself up like I have

47:00

my five thousand dollars in cash. And like

47:03

when that's gone, like I'm done. Right. I

47:05

lose that five thousand dollars in cash faster

47:07

than you can say. Credit

47:09

card like I'm fucked. And

47:12

like that doesn't normally happen. Like I really

47:14

was just super unlucky. Right. So then I

47:16

start getting a little spunky. Right. I

47:19

start maxing out my friend's credit cards. I

47:21

max out Ashley's card. I max out Amari's

47:23

boyfriend's card, too. It's like he didn't sign

47:26

up for that. I love spunky. Like, yeah,

47:29

it's getting spunky. People have to eat,

47:31

Tana. And I'm apple

47:33

paying them, you know, but I'm maxing out

47:35

everyone's limit on everything. I run through that.

47:37

Then I decide I want to get a

47:39

massage at the table. Right. And I have

47:41

like five hundred bucks in chips left. And

47:44

so I'm getting this massage and I lose

47:46

the five hundred. And then the lady, she

47:48

just stops. No,

47:51

she keeps going. And then the lady finally is like,

47:53

and I'm sitting there getting this massage like rocking back

47:56

and forth and I have no money. And I'm like,

47:58

I don't know how I'm going to pay her like my credit card. I've

48:00

maxed out everyone's credit cards. So then I'm

48:03

fucked. And now this lady's following me around while I'm trying to

48:05

find her. I thought you were going to say like you asked

48:07

her for money. You're like, ma'am, can I borrow 50?

48:12

And so, so now I owe this woman money

48:14

and she's following me around. She doesn't take out, but she doesn't excel.

48:17

She's like holding the massage thing and I'm asking strangers

48:19

for money. She's like laying behind a ghost seat. I'm

48:24

asking like my casino host for money. I'm asking the dealers

48:26

for money. I'm trying to have them pay them for money.

48:29

Like no one can help me in this lady's following

48:31

me around for like damn near an hour. Like

48:34

it is just bad. It no, it's so bad. So

48:37

finally, like Ashley has to call her bank. I

48:39

get extra money. I pay the lady double obviously because

48:41

she'd been following me around. Yeah, you would lost funds. You

48:44

would think after this rock bottom

48:47

moment, I would be done gambling.

48:50

I hit up a guy friend in Vegas who I know

48:52

is just loaded and he ends up Ubering me like $5,000

48:54

in cash. And I end up being fine.

48:57

And that's not a normal thing that people can do. That's so

48:59

hard. And

49:01

I need to delve into that in a second.

49:03

Like that's a whole other conversation. So I end

49:05

up being fine. But in the meantime, I'm

49:08

on TikTok, right? And this

49:10

girl's TikTok pops up and they

49:12

really said for you. OK, she's like, are you

49:15

down on cash? No. No.

49:19

She's like, do you know that if you're a

49:21

pretty girl, like there are pay pigs all over

49:23

the Internet who want to send you

49:25

money and men who just are really sexy. Who just are

49:27

really sexually into sending you money. Like all you have to

49:29

do is go on these hashtags and do this. Stop. No,

49:32

I don't like where this is going. You

49:35

got a pay pig? Page IDM 75 different

49:37

old man. Like

49:41

you're lying. Did you have

49:43

any success? You're lying. No way. And so

49:45

all of their profile pictures. Look at this

49:48

guy, Daddy Michael. Look at him. And

49:50

like it's just like a G Wagon. He has 42

49:52

followers. Like it's on private. But like he's a pay

49:55

pig. Oh, she did not tell Bibi about this. And

49:57

I start I start filling out forms. giving

50:00

them my PayPal emails, I'm texting a few of them.

50:02

Be careful, sometimes they can steal money from you that

50:04

way. I know, I know, I know, trust me, I

50:06

did all of the- She texted me at like 3am

50:09

going, what's my PayPal email? That

50:11

checks out. No way.

50:13

And I know there's, I don't wanna

50:15

glorify that. I do, sign me

50:18

up. Listen, if it

50:20

works, it works. If you wanna give

50:22

me money for doing absolutely nothing, DMs

50:24

are open. I'm not kidding. I

50:27

made like a thousand bucks. Wait,

50:30

that's amazing. In fact- The

50:32

fuck? Like, and I was DMing all of them, like

50:34

I wasn't even saying hi, I was saying like, send

50:36

me now, now, send me money now, 500 now. Are

50:39

you kidding me? And they were like, yes, goddess. Oh, perfect.

50:43

You're so much better than me. And then I

50:45

gambled the money away. No, I shouldn't be pay

50:47

picking anywhere in Las Vegas. Go home. I

50:50

just go home. Just imagine somebody like posted like,

50:52

Tana Mongeau's begging me for money. No, tell me

50:54

why I thought about it, cause I was sending

50:56

selfies too, and I was like face-apping them in

50:58

case they got leaked. You

51:01

kill me. Stop, stop, stop. I had you

51:03

amaze me every day you surprised me. I

51:05

just, I mean, I saw

51:07

the TikTok, I was on

51:09

the for you. I ended up being fine. I

51:11

mean, I was gonna quit gambling forever. I think

51:13

I'm done with table games until October. Well, I'm

51:16

crying because she calls me and she's like, I

51:18

lost so much money, I'm so miserable, I have

51:20

no money. And then she posts her with

51:22

a stack of cash in her hand. And she's like,

51:24

I'm up. I'm like, no, you're fucking

51:26

not. Why are you lying

51:28

to people? You don't want any of

51:30

that. In that time I really came up and that's what

51:32

I wanna bring me to my next

51:35

segment is accepting gifts from people cheating.

51:38

What? Like if you know that a guy

51:40

like wants you and he like gives

51:42

you money. Oh, he

51:45

gave you that money. He didn't loan you that money. It's

51:47

up in the air. Some of it was

51:50

a gift. It's this whole like thing. I

51:52

don't see it as cheating. I just think

51:54

it's like, you're finessing.

51:57

I don't know. I don't think I would like it if

51:59

my man. is accepting gifts from

52:01

some woman. I

52:03

guess that's where there's two kinds of people. Because if Makoa

52:05

was like Finesse and some bitch who wanted him. I think

52:07

if you do Makoa, she'd get 20%. That's the thing. So

52:11

then that's where I'm at. Because a couple

52:13

of weeks ago, this guy offered to

52:16

take me jewelry shopping. And we're friends. And we

52:18

kick it. And we all hang out in big

52:20

group settings. But I think he has a crush

52:22

on me, right? But he's like, I

52:25

want to go shopping. Let's go. Like yada, yada. I

52:27

know he'd be buying me a Van Cleef or something

52:29

like that. You're like checking my wrist. I

52:32

literally want to check my wrist. And I

52:34

didn't go because I was weighing out, is

52:36

this wrong? But if

52:38

I were to do it. It is wrong. I think that's wrong.

52:41

I was going to say, why don't you just talk to Makoa

52:43

about it and be like, hey, this is the situation. Are you

52:45

cool if I do this? Instead of going and doing it, and

52:47

then he finds out then it looks like something it's not. I

52:50

feel like if someone's sending you money in

52:52

an Uber is one thing, physically going to the store

52:54

with somebody to let them buy you something. I agree.

52:56

That's why I accepted the money and not the jewelry.

52:58

Yeah, I know. That's a

53:00

compromise. It's just weird right now. I don't know what it

53:03

is with guys. I've noticed lately

53:05

all of these rich guys fetishizing

53:07

that I'm taking. That always happens

53:09

though. As soon as you get into a relationship, everyone

53:12

comes out of the woodwork, everyone. And

53:14

they want you all of a sudden. I'm like, should

53:16

I fake it? Right. And that's

53:18

like, I don't want anyone else. I want only

53:20

Makoa. I love him literally so much. I only

53:23

want him. You know what I mean? And

53:26

I'm not entertaining anyone coming out of the

53:28

woodworks or anything like that. It's more just

53:30

people throwing money at me and shit. Because

53:32

I'm always going to have the girl with

53:34

the dirty door in me. And how can

53:36

I not accept free money? I know. It's

53:39

on a platter. I love the way

53:41

it. Your relationship with money, you're so good at it.

53:43

Always want to make more money. You'll

53:45

get money anyway. Well, I think it's because I know

53:47

that I have these crazy habits and vices. And they

53:49

only make sense to me if I can make sense.

53:51

So you have to offset it by like, yeah.

53:54

Like, overcompensating. You know what I mean? Because it's like, I

53:56

would have to stop doing a lot of the things I

53:58

love doing. I think if I chill. out like

54:00

working and also finessing. Yeah. I

54:03

saw that TikTok and I really was just curious

54:05

if these pay pigs are real and if it's

54:07

like a real thing because I'm so big on

54:09

like women just getting paid

54:11

for being beautiful and gorgeous. Fuck yeah. I

54:13

like, who is it Julia Fox who always,

54:15

oh man. Oh. She

54:18

always talks about how she used to be like the

54:20

dominatrix and she would just like wit people. I love

54:22

that. And like people hating on that or calling women

54:25

like sluts. I think it's one of those things where

54:27

at least for me, like I was always sexualized growing

54:30

up and being so young. And that

54:32

was like why I made an OF and like why

54:35

I did it like everything like that because I'm like

54:37

these men are going to be like this absolutely

54:39

anyways every single time period. So

54:41

if you can reap the benefits

54:44

to wipe the tears with a

54:46

dollar, like I'm always going

54:48

to die on the hill that that's. These men are

54:50

going to slut shame and sexualize us anyway. We might

54:52

as well get fucking paid for it. That's how I

54:54

feel. 100%. Yeah and it offsets the wage gap. Right.

54:57

They should be paying us for nothing. Wow.

55:00

I agree. Yeah. Pay me to exist. That's

55:02

all. I'm like going on that right now.

55:04

I'm like anyway hashtag. I'm not even paying

55:06

for you. I don't know if it's necessarily

55:08

always that easy or like what it is

55:11

and like whatever but it was like. Speaking

55:14

of like actually this has really

55:17

no correlation but I'm not kidding. I've

55:19

been single for so long and it's like getting kind

55:21

of embarrassing. Granted like I don't do anything about it

55:24

but I want to do like a 90s rom-com or

55:26

like a 2000s rom-com where like I hire a guy

55:28

to be my fake boyfriend. No I think I really

55:31

think that would be amazing. I really oh just yeah

55:33

because I'm like I want to make my exes jealous.

55:35

I want to like pop out with

55:37

a guy. Wait I'm like Erin. Honestly

55:40

should we talk about what we've we've been up to?

55:43

Us. What have we been up to? My

55:46

fake boyfriend. Please. Oh my god.

55:48

Please please. Oh my god.

55:50

Please work for the love of fucking god.

55:52

Please. Please. This was one of those situations

55:54

where like it genuinely like kept me up

55:57

at night in mental pain that you wouldn't

55:59

talk I just I honestly think

56:01

it's hilarious and it started out as

56:03

a joke But like I got started

56:05

to take it a little seriously honest

56:07

to God That's always how everything goes

56:09

with you because obviously I I was

56:12

like sort of seeing a guy that I was like obsessed

56:15

with And

56:18

he was not obsessed with me back Okay, and I

56:20

you know like we're spending a lot of time together

56:22

and stuff and I knew he was seeing other people

56:24

I'm loving these past tense and I was jealous. I

56:27

was very jealous So I was like, you know what? I want him to

56:29

think I'm seeing other people but Can't

56:31

just be anyone of course not. You know what

56:33

I mean? So it's like Who

56:36

could it be and I noticed that

56:39

there was some speculation after I had

56:41

been talking about a guy I was

56:43

seeing on cancelled people were speculating that

56:45

it might be Glenn Powell And

56:48

best things ever happened to you. I Am

56:51

so I honey, I never wanted to shut

56:53

that rumor down because why the fuck would

56:55

I shut that rumor down? I let everybody

56:57

believe it and I was like, you know

56:59

what? Maybe it is. Okay, um,

57:01

Glenn Powell Keep scrolling seriously.

57:04

It Seems like almost believable because

57:06

obviously the aloe connection. He's that aloe every day.

57:08

We have like so many I say little friends.

57:10

So it's like it makes sense that I could

57:12

have possibly met and had some sort of relationship

57:14

with Glenn Powell however, I've literally never met him

57:17

in my And so

57:19

one day I have the idea I'm

57:21

like, what if I just went ahead

57:23

and changed pages number in my phone To

57:26

Glenn Powell and I gave her the reins let

57:28

her call me at her own leisure

57:32

Boy, did she take advantage of it? I was

57:35

getting face times from Glenn Powell at 2 a.m

57:37

At one point I felt like a jealous boyfriend.

57:39

I'm like, why aren't you calling me back? And

57:41

I'm like and I'm like doing this

57:43

with my phone like texting Glenn Powell

57:46

like that's not when I'm purposefully moving

57:48

your phone to the side Letting

57:52

it ring and like and be I would do one

57:54

of these like not

58:00

calling you. But what's actually funny to

58:02

be like Netflix and chilling with the

58:04

guy that you're trying to make jealous

58:06

and Glenn Powell's movie is like the

58:09

home screen. Well that's, all these like

58:11

really convenient accidents have been happening. Like

58:14

Hitman just came out, it's the front page of

58:16

Netflix. It's on every billboard in town. And not

58:19

only is it one photo of Glenn Powell, it's

58:21

1717 of him. There was

58:23

a Netflix billboard that says like, can we

58:25

all agree that Glenn Powell, and I'm like,

58:27

poor guy. Yeah, they're all over Los Angeles.

58:31

And Brooke would text me like every hour, like,

58:33

OK, calling 15. It

58:37

was just like, it was a joke. And CarPlay makes

58:39

shit like that so much easier. Like we've all done

58:41

it. I say we've all done it. But it was

58:43

like, I wasn't being crazy about it. I was being

58:45

very like, you know what I mean?

58:47

It wasn't constant to the point where it was like, bitch,

58:49

be for real. It was like so subtle. And it would

58:51

be like, I would just like catch him

58:53

over my shoulder. And I'd be like, oh. I'm all

58:56

for making a man who doesn't want to step up

58:58

to the plate. Like if you're obviously option number one,

59:00

leave him, OK? But if you're going to stay, let's

59:02

be real with him. Help. Give

59:05

him help, like 100%. I

59:08

also, my favorite part of this whole scenario

59:11

is that she got to a point, as

59:13

you always do with everything, the catfishing, everything,

59:15

you get bored of what's currently happening. And

59:18

you want to take it there, right? She

59:20

was going to remove every single person from

59:22

her close friends except for Mr. Big. And

59:24

then she was going to save someone else's

59:27

story that's close with Glenn Powell of him

59:29

in the kitchen and put it on. Wait.

59:32

No. That was a

59:34

joke. I would never actually do that. Am

59:38

I still Glenn in your phone? Oh, 100%. Glenn

59:41

Powell is in the canceled group chat.

59:44

And he is. Glenn Powell's on the

59:46

podcast. Glenn Powell, five away. No. Do

59:49

you ever get excited? You're like, oh. You

59:51

know, this morning, my Pilates instructor is taking

59:53

videos of me. And she's like, oh, Glenn

59:55

texted you. It makes sense because she knows

59:58

Glenn. I don't know Glenn. Run! No

1:00:00

way. But

1:00:03

like they all know about it too. They think it's hilarious.

1:00:05

I don't know if Glenn knows about it. Glenn, if you're

1:00:07

listening, please just know that I had to do it honestly.

1:00:09

And like go along with it seriously if you're one of

1:00:11

the girlies. Actually just start texting her. Also the man in

1:00:14

question who I am trying to upset, his sister listens to

1:00:16

this podcast. Please keep it. Please keep

1:00:18

my secret honestly. I love you. That

1:00:21

is the funniest thing you've ever done. Like that is your

1:00:23

best work. And I'm gonna let it go on forever. He's

1:00:25

everywhere. We're at breakfast the other day and

1:00:27

the TV's playing Glenn Powell and we're just sitting at breakfast.

1:00:29

I'm like, and I'll go, I'll like take

1:00:32

a photo of the TV and then just giggle

1:00:34

at my phone and then put it down. You

1:00:38

know where I see this going and what I'm praying for

1:00:40

genuinely is that Glenn Powell sees this and

1:00:42

he's a funny guy and thinks it's funny. And like

1:00:45

this ends up in a story arc of you actually with him. Yeah,

1:00:47

I don't think so. But so hot. I

1:00:49

have high hopes. You're like manifesting right now. That

1:00:51

is the best manifestation. I am but I'm manifesting

1:00:53

a man. Like well, I'll like speak it out

1:00:55

and then, well, actually, no, I've never successfully

1:00:57

done that now that I think about it. First time for everything. Can

1:01:01

I have a sip of your Yoruba? Yeah. I

1:01:04

know. I'm so tired. My fucking

1:01:06

contacts are burning. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm falling

1:01:08

apart at the seams. It's the way I wonder if Glenn is

1:01:10

about to be there. I have to. I wonder

1:01:12

if he's going to be there tonight. I'm excited. He's here with

1:01:14

him and Glenn Powell pops up on your phone. I

1:01:17

gotta change it. I feel

1:01:19

like if you do end up running into him, you have

1:01:21

to tell him like ha ha funny story. No,

1:01:24

I do. I know that like Sophie, one

1:01:26

of my best friends, she like knows him really well

1:01:30

and I think that she has said something or she says she will. That's good.

1:01:33

You're seeding everything correctly. It's like funny. It's ha

1:01:35

ha. It's not creepy. Just

1:01:37

know that it had to be you because people, because honestly,

1:01:39

you're the most successful one designer. He's the end

1:01:41

boy. Nothing like Glenn Powell to upset a man

1:01:44

who can't. Man, how do you guys know he's

1:01:46

not my friend? He could just be my friend

1:01:48

texting me like that. At 3 a.m. That's

1:01:51

the joke. You called me the other day. He picks

1:01:53

up my phone. I go, Glenn Powell? I go, stop.

1:01:56

You're like, oh, he's so annoying. He

1:01:58

won't leave me. alone. No,

1:02:01

he's just like, I love

1:02:04

women so much. Do

1:02:06

you know, speaking of manifesting, I found

1:02:08

out something really fucking crazy. So,

1:02:11

Mikko and I, we were just talking about like, I

1:02:14

always think that our relationship is so

1:02:16

like, like I genuinely do sometimes

1:02:18

feel like he's my like soulmate and the universe

1:02:20

brought me him and like he

1:02:23

made me believe in a lot of things that

1:02:25

I didn't before like the universe and timing and

1:02:27

shit. Like we were never supposed to meet. He

1:02:29

wasn't supposed to be on Oahu. He wasn't supposed

1:02:31

to be with Amber and other Mikkoa. He wasn't

1:02:34

supposed to be there. I was gonna get a

1:02:36

BBL during those dates and then decided Hawaii would

1:02:38

be better for my mental health. Like,

1:02:41

what do you mean you were gonna get a

1:02:43

BBL? Remember the capacitor? Remember we had

1:02:45

a whole conversation on this podcast. I took her to

1:02:47

fucking Dr. Gavami. For a

1:02:49

consult. That was like two years ago. No,

1:02:51

this was last October. I wanted to get

1:02:53

a BBL. Yeah, this was right before Hawaii.

1:02:55

I don't think you told me. Yes, we

1:02:58

podcasted about it. No, I think you

1:03:00

like jokingly were like, oh yeah, like I... No,

1:03:02

I went to the concert. I was like really

1:03:04

gonna do it. Oh my god, I'm so happy

1:03:06

you didn't do that. Me too. And had I

1:03:08

done that, I would be cheeked up and alone

1:03:10

because I would have never met Mikkoa because those

1:03:13

were like the same dates. I'm so

1:03:15

happy I didn't do it. I was just going through

1:03:17

a lot mentally and I think it was like, you

1:03:19

know, whatever. So, I decided Hawaii would be a better

1:03:22

thing for my mental health. Yeah. And it ended up being

1:03:24

the best thing ever for my mental health, you know. And

1:03:26

we ran into each other just like by fate and like

1:03:28

I do always feel like when I'm talking to Mikkoa, especially

1:03:30

in the beginning, like the way I was just posting him

1:03:32

and shit, like I'd never been

1:03:34

that like... Sure about somebody.

1:03:36

Yes, and like grid posting whatever, but I just

1:03:39

knew. Like genuinely my hardest of hearts, I just

1:03:41

like, I knew it wasn't gonna be this like

1:03:43

little fling and like I'd be talking to him

1:03:45

even in like the first month of like meeting

1:03:47

and I always feel

1:03:49

like it's like I've known you my whole life.

1:03:51

Like the level of comfortability that we have is

1:03:54

like not something that you gain in a couple

1:03:56

weeks or months or whatever, like whatever, you know.

1:03:58

We start going in our camera rolls. on

1:04:00

the phone the other night, trying to see if

1:04:02

we'd ever been in the same place at the

1:04:04

same time before we'd ever met, right? And

1:04:08

we've been in the exact same place

1:04:10

at the exact same time, like five

1:04:12

different times before we met. Shut the

1:04:14

fuck up. Isn't that so wild? Like

1:04:16

in Hawaii? There

1:04:19

was, in 2018 I went to Maui with Bella Thorne

1:04:21

and there was this day where everyone

1:04:24

wanted to go parasailing and I almost didn't

1:04:26

go to, it was like a whole thing,

1:04:28

whatever. And we're in Maui

1:04:30

and we get to this boat dock and

1:04:33

we go parasailing, like whatever, but we were

1:04:36

chilling on the dock, whatever. Makoa had a

1:04:38

job next door to the boat

1:04:40

dock and he was working that day. Like

1:04:42

we went to our camera rolls like day

1:04:44

and time, like we were ever so literally

1:04:46

like one inch from each other that entire

1:04:48

fucking day. That is so crazy. Can I

1:04:51

tell you something crazy too? What? Okay,

1:04:53

so the same thing happened with my ex-situation ship,

1:04:55

right? He's from Scottsdale, Arizona. And I

1:04:57

was saying, I was like, oh yeah, I've been before the

1:05:00

three of us when you guys were doing like the little

1:05:03

tours, right? And like there was one night we were like

1:05:05

at a bar and I said the name and he was like, oh my

1:05:07

God, like that's so funny. I used to go there all the time. And

1:05:09

I was like, no way. And he was like, when were you there? And

1:05:11

I told him, I was like, oh, it was like last October or something.

1:05:13

He was like, huh. And he went through his

1:05:15

camera roll and he found, cause he knows Yossi. So

1:05:18

he knew Yossi and he was like, oh yeah, I'm friends with Yossi, like

1:05:20

blah, blah, blah. He goes through his camera

1:05:22

roll. He has a picture on his phone. I'm

1:05:24

in the background. He took a picture of Yossi

1:05:26

and I'm in the background of the picture. Dude,

1:05:28

how fucking crazy is that? Literally insane.

1:05:31

I've seen people like that who have like page photos with

1:05:33

their, wait, actually Miranda, Miranda

1:05:35

Harrison. She has like baby photos coincidentally with her husband

1:05:37

now and they didn't figure it out until they were

1:05:39

like literally married. It's the craziest shit ever. And I

1:05:41

talk about this a lot and I feel like I've

1:05:43

talked to you about this and I always say like,

1:05:46

do you believe in fate or coincidence? And

1:05:48

I always say I've had way too many coincidences for

1:05:50

it to not be fate. I just now I'm getting

1:05:52

on board with that. I truly think that meeting Makoa

1:05:54

and falling in love with him was completely fate and

1:05:56

it's like changed my whole

1:05:59

perspective. on all

1:06:01

of that shit. And when I look into like

1:06:03

our astrology. Who made that video about you? Yeah,

1:06:05

like she talked about like you and him and

1:06:08

how. Like my astrology

1:06:10

was like saying I would find love in Hawaii

1:06:12

and like that I would find love by the

1:06:14

water and that we were supposed to like our

1:06:17

astrology literally says we're like supposed to align in

1:06:19

this period of time. Crazy. It

1:06:21

does say some awful shit as well. No,

1:06:23

no, I'm like, we don't believe that part.

1:06:26

Yeah, at all. But I mean, it's so

1:06:28

crazy. And I fully believe in the universe

1:06:30

and I believe in timing and I'm

1:06:32

such a spiritual little bitch about that type of stuff.

1:06:35

I really like I've been deep diving in on it

1:06:37

as of late. Like I didn't believe in it for

1:06:39

so long, but I like now it's it's so cool

1:06:41

to me. I do think everything is

1:06:43

fake. I was also just talking to actually my nail

1:06:45

girl. She slayed me. Hey, girl. I

1:06:48

was just talking to her about like

1:06:50

the universe and how time isn't like linear. It's

1:06:52

always happening. So when you feel something like

1:06:54

so strongly, like in your mind, if you're like,

1:06:57

oh, I'm going to be like a marine biologist

1:06:59

or like I'm going to like, you know,

1:07:01

do work with whales or something. And like it

1:07:03

finally happens or like if you had your calling,

1:07:05

you're like, I know I'm going to be

1:07:07

like a YouTuber. Right. And then it happens. It's

1:07:10

like when you're so drawn to something, it's because

1:07:12

it's already happening in the future. But like

1:07:14

that's like simultaneously. I wish you just fucking care

1:07:16

to interstellar. I'll

1:07:18

watch it. It's the whole concept of interstellar.

1:07:20

It's like literally everything's phenomenal at the exact same

1:07:23

time in different dimensions. Like simultaneously, everything's happening at

1:07:25

the same time. So like when you feel really

1:07:27

pulled to something or drawn to something, it's because

1:07:29

it's already happening. That is like so crazy. I

1:07:32

don't mean to keep reverting to like the makoa

1:07:34

thing, but even that Hawaii trip, like, you know,

1:07:36

I was saying to you, like, I just I'm

1:07:38

I'm so down atrocious right now in every way.

1:07:41

I just I have to go to Hawaii. I

1:07:43

don't know why. Yeah. Like I genuinely felt like

1:07:45

you just got pulled there. Yeah. Like how weird

1:07:47

is that? And just for like

1:07:49

the way that you guys met and for everything to

1:07:52

align so perfectly, I just I don't believe in coincidence.

1:07:54

Yeah, I think everything's preplanned. So

1:07:57

crazy to me. Yeah. And that whole. us

1:08:00

being in the same place at the same time, there

1:08:02

isn't one of them. There's like four. Yeah, like we

1:08:05

were in like Waikiki at the same like bar on

1:08:07

the same night in 2020. We

1:08:10

were at Disneyland at

1:08:12

the same time. Like, it's

1:08:14

just so weird. Your energies like recognize each other.

1:08:16

And you had to link up. It's

1:08:19

like iCloud or something. Soul

1:08:21

iCloud. Aww. Wait,

1:08:24

I have a, there's a picture. I think, I don't know if I've showed

1:08:26

it to you guys. Bibi and I are

1:08:28

obviously, we're like three years apart. But there, she showed

1:08:31

me a baby photo one time. And

1:08:33

I look at the photo, I'm like,

1:08:35

there's no fucking way. We are, I have

1:08:37

the same exact baby photo, same

1:08:40

hair, same, it's a gingham overall

1:08:42

outfit, two pigtails, two different colored things.

1:08:44

Our hands are stuffed in our overalls like this and

1:08:46

we're the exact same age in the photo, so they

1:08:48

were taken years apart. But there, it's

1:08:50

the same exact photo of the both of

1:08:53

us. I can find it. It's so crazy.

1:08:55

That's wild. And we're like how, like how,

1:08:57

and we're just best friends now. Aww, that's cute.

1:09:00

That's cute. I have to show you. That's really

1:09:02

cute. Paige, I often even think about us, like

1:09:04

I think it's so strange that

1:09:06

you and I were born exactly one

1:09:08

year and one day apart. Like your

1:09:11

birthday is June 23rd and then like at midnight

1:09:13

it goes into my birthday. I passed the torch.

1:09:15

And like one year, wait,

1:09:17

I want to see. What? Oh my

1:09:19

God, wait, stop. Look at the way our

1:09:21

hands are. Look at the outfit.

1:09:23

Stop, that's so cute. Bevie looks the same. Bevie

1:09:25

has not changed at all. She looks exactly the

1:09:28

same, that's wild. Wait, okay, you were saying like

1:09:30

I passed the torch like our birthday. Like I

1:09:32

just think you and I are like, never

1:09:35

in my life have I really met someone that

1:09:37

I feel so similar to. I swear to God,

1:09:39

Jana. Like we have the exact same like thought

1:09:41

process and outlook on absolutely everything in life. And

1:09:43

like I wonder, like it's so interesting that we

1:09:45

were born one day apart one day. And just

1:09:47

like the most niche shit that comes out of

1:09:49

our mouths were downstairs, right? And Tana cut her

1:09:51

ankle open like on glass before she went to

1:09:54

Vegas. And we're downstairs like while she's getting

1:09:56

ready. same

1:10:00

time we go gashed up shawty like

1:10:05

horrible stupid example but I'm not kidding like

1:10:07

we finish each other's sentences always we're we

1:10:09

share a fucking brain like

1:10:11

literally every single day we just like say the

1:10:14

same thing 30 times a day and I wonder

1:10:16

if it has anything to do astrologically like oh

1:10:18

for sure what I mean like that's just so

1:10:20

I bet but I like like my sister's a

1:10:22

cancer and you like remind me so much of

1:10:24

my sister that's so interesting and we were talking

1:10:26

the other day too like we have so many

1:10:28

cancer traits how like I can

1:10:30

forgive but I will never forget I will

1:10:33

never forget and we had this

1:10:35

whole conversation about how like what

1:10:37

I'm forgetting everything oh

1:10:39

no no like you do me wrong and I will

1:10:41

never let that go really yeah and like I can

1:10:43

forgive you see you be cool with you but like

1:10:45

I will hold on to the moment I guess that's

1:10:48

yeah and like I will always remember how someone like

1:10:50

made me feel yeah oh no I don't have that

1:10:53

really I have no sense of emotional permanence whatsoever

1:10:55

I can never imagine feeling any other way than

1:10:57

I feel in that current moment like whoa if

1:10:59

I'm happy right now I cannot imagine what it

1:11:01

like I know that it was true like I

1:11:03

know that I've been like so depressed but I

1:11:05

can't like I can't imagine it

1:11:07

it's just like a fact that I know about

1:11:10

it's kind of cool yeah but it's like makes

1:11:12

you more present but it's not it's a it's

1:11:14

horrible when you're feeling horrible and you can't imagine

1:11:16

ever having felt happy and you think you're never

1:11:18

gonna feel happy again mm-hmm yeah so I forget

1:11:20

that's how I forget

1:11:23

people so easily and that's why everyone gets away with doing

1:11:25

the most horrible things to me because I literally cannot remember

1:11:27

how you made me feel that's why I end up in

1:11:29

these situationships that last seven years long because I'm like I

1:11:31

don't remember what it felt like when you did me dirty

1:11:34

speaking that is baby has to just

1:11:36

babysit every time I'm like speaking

1:11:38

of people doing horrible things and never forgetting the

1:11:41

smallest man whoever lived is engaged no no no

1:11:43

I think it's a joke I think it was

1:11:45

a joke is it yeah I think

1:11:47

it was just like they were all like being crazy

1:11:49

at she will yaks she boy why would they do

1:11:51

the way I know it was

1:11:54

like so casual it wasn't even engagement ring

1:11:56

right it was like anything it was just a

1:11:58

joke well I play with me like I'm

1:12:00

not kidding. I was I was ready to

1:12:02

see Gabrielle fucking Gabrielle Healy. I like I

1:12:04

was a good happen I could be wrong.

1:12:06

Are they dating? Yeah. Oh, yeah I remember

1:12:08

they were at the bar at the VIP

1:12:10

bar at like Maddie you can't be here

1:12:12

I literally was saying to Tana's like, you

1:12:15

know Taylor's living. She is throwing shit around

1:12:17

on the PJ Breaking

1:12:19

lamps on the Falcon Oh back sliding

1:12:21

down the wall tears. Wait, did you

1:12:23

see? Um, Who

1:12:25

is it? What's his

1:12:28

name other one Jesse

1:12:30

Rutherford, uh-huh. He's dating that

1:12:32

girl Valentina that little model. Oh, I saw that

1:12:35

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm quit. That's

1:12:38

crazy These

1:12:40

men These

1:12:43

silver like looking men. Oh

1:12:45

you guys I have a heart out Right

1:12:47

now. Yeah. No, it's honestly perfect because you are

1:12:49

not gonna want to be here for this next

1:12:51

segment anyhow I love you guys all so much.

1:12:53

I have I have to go. I love you.

1:12:55

She's going Really

1:12:59

I'm going to find a husband honest to God. I'm going to find a

1:13:01

husband. I know I'm gonna meet my husband at this event I

1:13:04

love you, Rucky. I love you cooks. Oh My

1:13:09

god Paige I actually can't thank you enough for

1:13:11

sitting through this bit with me this

1:13:14

bit right, right. It's not a bit Oh

1:13:16

my god I

1:13:19

feel so far away from you. It's like weird. Should we

1:13:21

touch feet? Perhaps? Oh my god our dream. I I

1:13:26

Have tried to film what I am about

1:13:28

to try to film like Countless

1:13:30

times now. Okay, I had Brooke sit through it

1:13:32

and I feel like she just I'm

1:13:35

sitting here talking about what I wanted to say and this was

1:13:37

Brooke the entire time Like I

1:13:39

just I don't want to subject her to this and that's why

1:13:41

it was perfect timing She is going to find Glenn and I'm

1:13:43

gonna Handle this without her

1:13:46

for this one. Okay. Okay. Do you want

1:13:48

me to chime in and like give some

1:13:50

yeah Especially even with the beginning of

1:13:52

this episode I am I don't know what's happening in

1:13:54

life right now with the universe But I'm learning

1:13:56

a lesson once again that I've learned so many times

1:13:59

about I can't

1:14:01

just be saying shit. And

1:14:03

I don't want to blame myself here for

1:14:05

this situation, but it's like I'm now in this position

1:14:07

to have to address it because there I went again

1:14:10

saying shit, you know? And it's just a

1:14:12

classic case of I say something fleeting in

1:14:15

the ways that I say something and then it

1:14:17

is taken very seriously because I'm usually trauma dumping

1:14:19

and breadcrumbing with a giggle, right? Yeah, and it

1:14:21

usually is pretty serious and we're just so flippant

1:14:23

about it and we'll just like talk some shit.

1:14:26

And that's always how I've just

1:14:28

dealt with shit or made light of

1:14:30

shit. Like I'm just the type of

1:14:32

person who does say

1:14:34

things in a very like flippant manner. And then

1:14:36

it's like, oh fuck, nobody else is laughing. Even

1:14:39

just in real life, I'll say some crazy shit.

1:14:41

And I'm like, ha ha ha. And they're like,

1:14:43

are you good? And it's just like, it's

1:14:46

how I am. But we were

1:14:48

on tour. We were saying a bunch of shit

1:14:50

on stage in a bunch of different games and

1:14:52

we thought we could trust the

1:14:54

people as we had the whole tour. Cause

1:14:57

it really was like at every other show we

1:14:59

were saying the craziest shit about people. And

1:15:01

it wasn't being brought

1:15:03

to light. And however, I

1:15:06

understand that this isn't just some crazy

1:15:08

tea. It was

1:15:10

a crime. And I've tried

1:15:13

to talk about this a million

1:15:15

times and I feel like I never have the right

1:15:17

words. But it's everywhere all

1:15:19

over the internet and I know people want me to

1:15:21

talk about it and I'm gonna do my best right

1:15:23

now. I mean, I

1:15:26

hooked up with Cody Cole when I was 17 and

1:15:28

he was 25. Yeah, it

1:15:30

happened. And I think that first

1:15:33

of all, it's really, I'm

1:15:35

trying to think about it from a perspective of

1:15:38

like a younger sister or someone

1:15:40

that I really care about. Even the other day, like

1:15:42

I was texting just

1:15:44

about her life and everything that's going on in her life

1:15:46

right now. And I really, I thought to myself like how

1:15:49

protective I was over her, especially before she was

1:15:51

18. And if something like

1:15:54

that was happening to her, I

1:15:56

would never let it fly. Well, you know what I

1:15:59

mean? Honestly fucking disgusting and I

1:16:01

also think when you're that age you think you

1:16:03

know everything and you think you're way more mature

1:16:05

than you actually are And then

1:16:07

from our age now we can look at it

1:16:10

in hindsight 2020 and it's like oh my god.

1:16:12

You were a child Yes, you're young. I think

1:16:14

a lot of things like that happened to me

1:16:16

as well because I really did have to grow

1:16:18

up Severely

1:16:20

out of like a really young age. You know what

1:16:22

I mean? Like by the time I was 16 I

1:16:25

truly was just like even

1:16:27

when it came down to knowledge and

1:16:29

wisdom and Everything I was a

1:16:31

21 year old you were forced to

1:16:33

grow up so early and because of that a lot

1:16:35

of shit ended up happening to me that probably shouldn't

1:16:38

have happened right and I think

1:16:40

that I also have a really bad

1:16:42

case of like Like

1:16:45

I to to be 100% truthful

1:16:48

when I look back at the

1:16:50

Cody situation It

1:16:53

is I definitely am like why

1:16:55

was he doing that? You know what I mean? And

1:16:57

there were so many situations There was a situation with

1:17:00

Gabby Hannah at a playlist live where she pulled him

1:17:02

aside and told him like Yoshi 17 and then we

1:17:04

still went and hooked up And I can look at

1:17:06

that and be like Like

1:17:09

what by the fuck were you doing that? But

1:17:11

there isn't a part of me at least at 25 now I

1:17:15

mean I look back and I would I would never do

1:17:17

anything like that So I'm like what the fuck was wrong

1:17:19

with you? Yeah, but I don't associate

1:17:21

or hold it with trauma because

1:17:23

I am such a Comparative person where

1:17:25

I'm like so many worse things have

1:17:28

happened to me and now bad

1:17:30

I was just about to say you can't do

1:17:32

that to yourself though Like but I genuinely feel

1:17:34

that way like I it

1:17:36

feels like all of the other people I

1:17:38

hooked up with when I was 18 Whether they

1:17:40

were 30 or whether they were not 30 and they

1:17:42

were my age and they were whatever like I was

1:17:44

just in a place of life,

1:17:46

especially The circles and

1:17:48

world I was surrounded in in Vegas and then coming

1:17:51

to LA like those are if you're in the wrong

1:17:53

Realms those can be very sexual places yeah,

1:17:56

and like I was just hooking up with

1:17:58

people and having so much fun and like That's

1:18:00

the way my mind, because I grew up

1:18:02

loving him and I think I, you know

1:18:04

what I mean? Like I was just like excited

1:18:06

and a fan and like, and I understand that

1:18:08

that's where now as a grown adult, you can say

1:18:11

you were taken advantage of. But like,

1:18:13

I don't, I just, I don't feel any of those emotions

1:18:17

towards it. So that's why it's like, it's

1:18:20

much easier to be like, go crucify someone

1:18:22

when you feel those emotions. Of course. You

1:18:24

know? And I mean, whether

1:18:27

or not you feel like that now, and I

1:18:29

mean, at the time too, even though you felt

1:18:32

way more mature than you act, like than your

1:18:34

age, you're 17, like even though you felt grown

1:18:36

and everything, like, and

1:18:38

you didn't at that time, it's like, you don't

1:18:40

really know what you're doing. And like, you don't

1:18:42

really think it's wrong. But again, it's like he

1:18:44

was 25. He

1:18:47

should have fucking known better. Yeah. Like, that's, that's

1:18:50

like, I think where I settle on that. And

1:18:52

it's like, it is really

1:18:54

interesting to me because

1:18:57

I have my feelings towards it, right? And like,

1:18:59

I'm expressing those right now. And I

1:19:01

said that on stage very much so as

1:19:03

just kind, I was being jokey about it

1:19:06

and whatever, right? And

1:19:08

it's almost like the public's reaction

1:19:10

to this has made me feel

1:19:12

10 different types of

1:19:14

ways that I didn't feel before. Like

1:19:16

I've seen so many comments of people

1:19:19

like on some like, but what was

1:19:21

she wearing? You know what I mean?

1:19:23

On some like, well, it's Tana Mongeau

1:19:25

and like, isn't that crazy? So

1:19:28

fucked up. Because I really like, you know, how I

1:19:30

feel to it, but now seeing all of these people

1:19:32

like not believe me and say, well,

1:19:34

what if she's lying or she's this and she's

1:19:36

that and she's dramatic? First of all, there's nothing

1:19:39

I would never lie about that. Like,

1:19:41

I'm not going to put an allegation on anyone like

1:19:43

ever like that, obviously. But then it, and then I

1:19:45

just like, I feel so bad for all of these

1:19:47

young girls because then they see that and then it

1:19:49

makes them not want to come forward. And then I

1:19:51

am like, wow, fuck everyone.

1:19:53

Yeah. Like seeing

1:19:56

people not believe

1:19:58

you is so. with

1:22:00

it because I was 18. But it's

1:22:02

so sad too, because I don't want you

1:22:04

to downplay something like that. It's really fucking

1:22:06

serious. I'm really like... I know,

1:22:09

I know. But I'm saying even

1:22:11

to yourself, not even while filming or

1:22:13

whatever, but being in your room sitting with yourself

1:22:15

and thinking and being like, oh, well, I've had

1:22:17

way worse shit happen, so it diminishes this thing.

1:22:21

It's also really sad to think of it

1:22:23

that way. I don't want you

1:22:25

to... You know what I'm saying? I

1:22:27

just think I've always been like that in everything. I

1:22:29

know what real trauma feels like. And

1:22:31

that's like, those things are real trauma to

1:22:34

me. And then everything else is just kind of life

1:22:37

and flippant. And I am that kind of person. You

1:22:39

know what I mean? And I just... I

1:22:42

don't know. Because if I really were to sit here and be like... I

1:22:47

don't know how to put this without... Because I'm not trying

1:22:49

to diminish anyone else's anything and anything else. No, of course

1:22:51

not. And this is your own experience too. But if I

1:22:53

were to sit here and be like, I'm a victim and

1:22:55

this was so horrible and oh my

1:22:58

God, I'm so traumatized and oh my God, whatever.

1:23:00

I don't feel that way. I just know it

1:23:02

was wrong and he was wrong. Yeah. And

1:23:05

I also think if you did sit here and you

1:23:07

said all that, then it is just kind of discrediting

1:23:09

people who really do feel like that. Because then it's

1:23:11

like you're making it into something that's not for yourself.

1:23:13

If that makes sense. I don't know. I

1:23:15

think the whole situation is fucked up. And it's sad too, because I was

1:23:17

a fan of him. I would watch his videos. Are you kidding? I

1:23:20

would order my Postmates and watch his videos. And now it's

1:23:22

like, I can't look at him. It's

1:23:24

weird. And knowing that happened to you

1:23:26

and stuff. Again, not that it was like you're sitting

1:23:28

here saying like it wasn't super traumatic, but still it's

1:23:30

just weird and it's wrong. But still I can just

1:23:32

objectively know that it's very wrong. Exactly. Even

1:23:34

if you don't feel

1:23:36

traumatized by it, it's still just objectively

1:23:39

wrong. And he is shitty

1:23:41

for that. Yeah. You

1:23:43

know? Yeah. Yeah,

1:23:46

it is just crazy. And I

1:23:49

think that yeah, it really like the

1:23:51

most traumatizing thing of all of this really was seeing

1:23:53

how many people like don't

1:23:56

believe people or don't believe me or

1:23:58

like fit. You know what I mean? Today's.

1:28:16

Episode is brought to you by Empower. It.

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Doesn't matter how much money you have, we

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1:28:34

Com. Welcome.

1:28:38

To Wired Politics Lab a show

1:28:40

about how Tag is changing politics.

1:28:42

I'm Leah Bagger, the senior politics

1:28:44

editor at Wired today. We're going

1:28:47

to talk about how elections and

1:28:49

Ayers are mobilizing their supporters and

1:28:51

rolling out need happy to disrupt

1:28:53

November and what that means for

1:28:55

voters in the election workers already

1:28:57

facing threats. And harassment. were

1:29:01

going to be reached where. You

1:29:03

can understand the process in the

1:29:05

into law school approach to the

1:29:07

electoral system. And

1:29:10

we're going to have option to

1:29:12

continue to hold to those troops

1:29:14

were not.