After a breakup, one big question that commonly plagues the newly single is this: What did I do wrong?

The end of a relationship is a period rife with self-doubt and self-loathing as we try to identify our own culpability.

Often, people use breakups as evidence that they are unloveable. This is of course not true—breakups are a normal part of life—but in the midst of grief, many people tend to take the loss personally. Learning to love yourself again is an essential step in the healing process. To help you along the way, I share five points so you can be yourself again.