Cheerful Despair, that pod-cast you forgot you subscribed to, returns. It's honestly better just to listen and not make a scene. We'll just leave a small tip and not eat here again.

This time:

• Have your sandwiches been Phil-ed?
• Wow! In a new segment, we meet John, an extraordinary individual.
• Also! David F. Porteous (who was educated by the state) is taught how to pass the port.
• Plus! We invent a new trendy artisan snack for hipsters, then foolishly share the idea with the internet. (Do not steal our genuinely quite good snack idea for which we have no legal protection. Thanks.)

Good night and good truck.

-DC. For, and on behalf of, DFP.