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College or Kitchen? (with Alison Roman)

College or Kitchen? (with Alison Roman)

Released Thursday, 27th June 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
College or Kitchen? (with Alison Roman)

College or Kitchen? (with Alison Roman)

College or Kitchen? (with Alison Roman)

College or Kitchen? (with Alison Roman)

Thursday, 27th June 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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get $20 off. Again,

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that's butcherbox.com/choice words and

1:33

use code choice words.

1:38

Lemonado. There

1:43

are some people who can pack all

1:45

their belongings into a little knapsack and

1:47

just hit the road, not

1:50

knowing where they're going. They can live

1:52

off the grid for months at a

1:54

time, sleep under the stars, go from

1:56

country to country, washing their

1:59

socks, and in

2:01

a hotel coffee pot,

2:03

which I've heard is a thing, or

2:07

a stream. I

2:09

truly, I admire so much

2:11

about people like that, but

2:14

it's just not me. I need

2:16

a little corner that is mine. Sometimes

2:19

I'm surprised that people expect me to be

2:21

more of a free spirit, as if everyone

2:23

who lives in the public eye is just

2:25

like ready for anything, up

2:27

for whatever, any time of the day

2:29

or night. But I

2:32

have always been this way. I am a

2:34

creature of habit. I have known about

2:37

myself for a long time that I

2:39

need roots. I need

2:41

to be tethered to something. ["The

2:46

The The The

2:49

The The The

2:52

The The The The

2:56

The The The The

3:28

former pizza restaurant possibly live in

3:30

should everything at some point come

3:33

crashing down because sometimes

3:36

it does. So

3:39

take a listen and make good choices.

3:48

I'm so excited to talk to you. I'm a

3:51

really huge fan of yours. Wow. Huge.

3:54

Wow. I am such a fan

3:56

of yours that that is wild to hear. The fact

3:58

that you know who I am is crazy to me.

4:00

I had butterflies. and I had to eat a roll

4:02

eggs. And that's the God's honest truth. I had a

4:04

roll eggs before I don't have with anxiety or just

4:06

it does. Even

4:08

placebo. It's simplicity. It's like a little

4:11

piece of chalk that I eat that

4:13

gets settled. It's like beta blockers except

4:15

for your body. I think so.

4:17

I think it just it's just like, why are

4:19

we dealing with chalk right now? And all of

4:21

the focus goes to what I've put inside. Yeah,

4:24

no, I'm running in in the body.

4:26

Yeah. Well, I can't believe I'm talking to you.

4:29

I feel like this is

4:31

such an honor and I'm so flattering. And

4:33

I really, you are

4:35

incredible. And I watched

4:38

you all the time and like really looked forward

4:40

to you and thought, wow,

4:42

women can be funny and smart at the

4:44

same time. You know, I

4:46

think you Okay, well, we will I'm gonna

4:48

actually ask you questions. Like I actually have

4:51

an agenda here today, but I want

4:53

to say that your cookbooks are influential

4:55

in my life. People in my family,

4:57

even like my stepmom, all these people

5:00

that I know, everybody makes your shortbread

5:02

cookies for one thing. Because that's just

5:04

like, that is a family activity, just

5:06

a classic family activity. And just it's

5:08

just known, you're known to everyone in

5:10

my family. So just hold

5:12

that in your heart. That's very wholesome.

5:14

It's like a very beautiful cookbook club.

5:16

I love cookbooks. I don't, I'm like

5:19

a cookbook addict, actually. That's how I,

5:22

apart from taking a role, if I'm feeling nervous,

5:25

I like to do in the same way. Yeah, they

5:27

suit me in the exact same way. Okay. So

5:31

I do you have so many things going

5:33

on that we need to talk about before

5:35

we talk about all the stuff that you're

5:37

doing, which I'm so excited about. And I

5:39

love this show.

5:41

As a launch point, we talk about

5:43

choice and the choices that you've made

5:45

in your life, big or small, that

5:47

kind of got you where

5:49

you are, or made

5:51

a big change or a little change that kind of like

5:55

became a big change. But

5:57

that's sort of the idea of making

5:59

choices is really different. for everyone. Are

6:01

you very good at it? Are you

6:03

decisive? I'm extremely decisive. Are you? Yeah,

6:05

but I sit on things for a

6:07

minute before I decide. But

6:09

I'm the kind of person that will be at a

6:11

party, having a pretty good time, and then

6:14

be like, I have to go right

6:16

now. And it's not like my

6:18

mind changed. It's that I arrived to the party. I was like, I'm

6:20

probably not going to stay long, but while I'm here, I'm going to

6:22

have a great time. Okay. When I'm ready to

6:24

go, I'm ready to go. It's kind of that with anything where

6:27

it's like, I know

6:29

before the thing happens, I'm like, I'm ready.

6:32

Let's go. I don't waffle too much. Are

6:35

you the type of person who's like, I think that I'm going to wake

6:37

up at 6 15 tomorrow, and

6:39

your brain just goes, is 6 15? Absolutely

6:42

not. No, I mean, I wake up at 6

6:45

15 often because I sleep poorly. Okay.

6:47

And my body will wake

6:49

me up at like anywhere from 3 to 6 am

6:52

and I'll stay awake and do

6:54

crosswords. But it's not by choice. Not

6:57

by choice. No. Okay. But you just

6:59

when you're in something, you're like, it is over

7:02

now. And now I leave. Yeah, it is like

7:04

a heavy and you know, I think about it

7:06

a lot in terms of like intuition versus information.

7:10

And do I make choices based on information

7:12

or intuition? I don't know. If I had

7:14

to guess, I'd say more intuition, which depending

7:17

on how like scientifically minded

7:19

you are could be bullshit. But

7:22

I do feel like I'm

7:24

a more feelings based decision maker.

7:27

Right. And when something is in terms

7:29

of like career choices is something when

7:31

you have all the information about something,

7:33

and there's always some piece of it

7:35

that's totally unknowable, the

7:38

end result, of course, is unknowable. Do

7:40

you toss and turn for weeks and weeks? Or are you

7:42

like, this is what I want

7:44

to do. This is what is guiding me is

7:48

how much I like this thing. I

7:50

feel like before, like the

7:52

earlier in my career, my choices were more like

7:55

big swings and not like I would leave a job,

7:57

I would move to a city I would like. do

8:00

these really big, more

8:03

definitive choices and things

8:06

that would have a big ripple

8:08

effect. Versus now, things happen a

8:10

lot more gradually. They reveal

8:13

themselves. I'm like, oh, this started as this, but

8:15

it's now this. I like

8:18

that. Or whoa, we got a course correct.

8:20

We strayed

8:22

too far from the path. So I think it's

8:24

less, I'm going to do this

8:26

now and more, see

8:29

how things unfold, given that there's so much up in

8:31

the air. Yeah, I mean, and there's certain

8:33

things that are boring decisions you have to make. It's like, okay,

8:35

well, you have to plan this

8:37

thing ahead. You have to do this deadline. You have to

8:40

write a book. You have to, things that are

8:42

not so vibe based.

8:44

It can't be all vibes

8:46

all the time, unfortunately. It can't be

8:49

just vibes. Do you do like it? Are you a person who

8:51

likes a deadline? I am because

8:53

otherwise I'll never do it. Me too.

8:56

I actually need it. Even

8:58

if it feels arbitrary, to

9:00

just put some structure on the

9:02

process. Yeah. I mean, you seem, I've always

9:04

taken you for a creative

9:07

person. And I think that people assume

9:09

that a creative person doesn't like boundaries

9:11

or guidelines or guardrails, but I

9:13

think actually we really need it and sort

9:16

of crave it because it does give us

9:19

like safe space to move around in rather

9:21

than just like splat everywhere.

9:23

And then like, at

9:25

least for me, I'm just like, Oh, this is a mess. This is

9:28

nothing is organized. No one knows where

9:30

anything is like, cause I'm just like,

9:32

yeah, exactly. So I do like an

9:34

assignment. I love a deadline. I love

9:37

structure. I love parameters. When

9:39

I was younger, like in my

9:41

early twenties, I got a loft. I got,

9:44

I moved in with a bunch of friends into a loft

9:47

and I actually lived in there for six months and I

9:49

was like, I can't have to get out of here. There's

9:51

too much head space. Yeah. Okay.

9:54

There was just like too much room. I needed

9:57

the parameters of a normal. Yeah. It's

9:59

funny because I just moved out of

10:01

a loft and into a place that

10:03

has like literally two days ago that

10:05

has like actual rooms. And

10:07

I feel already like so much more grounded and

10:09

so much more like, okay, this is my office.

10:11

I go and work. Instead of just like, this

10:13

is the room where you do everything, you know,

10:15

like you cook here, you eat here, you work

10:17

here, you watch TV here, you hang out here,

10:20

but it's all the same room. Yes.

10:22

Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah,

10:24

which like in theory is really nice. You know, like all the

10:26

light and space, but like, it's not

10:28

good, especially if you live with another person,

10:31

because you're always there, wherever you go, there

10:33

they are. Yeah, you're just rattling around with

10:35

somebody in a big old tall room where

10:37

you can't even be so tall. You can't

10:39

even beautiful, so beautiful and in theory. And

10:43

in reality, you're just like, I can't,

10:45

I'm not Spider-Man. We need, I'm

10:48

not a trapeze artist. No, I feel

10:50

flailing is the word that comes to

10:52

mind, unfortunately. So when you

10:54

look back, when you look back at

10:56

the entirety of your life thus far,

10:58

is there the choice that you made

11:00

that you think really stands

11:02

out for you as something that kind of changed

11:05

the trajectory or was fulfilling in a way

11:07

that you weren't expecting? Or just, is there

11:09

a big choice that you made that really

11:11

stands out to you? Yeah, I

11:14

mean, you know, I thought about this question and

11:16

I was thinking about, especially earlier

11:18

in my life, how it felt

11:20

like every choice that I made was like, really

11:23

set me on the path to where I

11:25

am now for a multitude of reasons. But

11:28

I would say like, making the decision to

11:30

leave college and start working in restaurants when I

11:32

was 19, that was sort of the first decision.

11:34

The first choice that I made, not

11:37

just because of my age, but like, I

11:40

mean, I guess partly because of my age, I

11:42

was 19. But like, really felt like this was

11:44

something that I'm deciding for myself. This is something

11:46

that nobody else is weighing in on. This

11:48

is something that like, this choice

11:50

will affect me and my life for the rest of

11:52

my life. And I was so

11:54

sure that it was the right choice. I

11:56

was like, never was I scared or like,

11:58

what if this doesn't work? I

12:00

was like, I'm going to do this and this is what I'm

12:02

doing. And I

12:05

sort of kind of, I kind of like went

12:07

forth with that energy for

12:10

every major decision after that, where it was

12:12

like, I'm moving to San Francisco. I'm moving

12:14

to New York. I'm quitting this job. I'm doing

12:16

this thing. Where it was like, everyone was like,

12:18

what? Like it didn't, I never took

12:20

like a, what I would consider like an obvious path.

12:24

And I remember my dad once, and

12:27

this was like after I had been living

12:29

in New York for a few years and I like just left

12:31

a job to take another job. And it was

12:33

like a really good job that I took for kind of like

12:35

an unknowable job. And he was like,

12:37

you know, you always make the right choice, even

12:39

if I can't see it at the time. So

12:42

I guess congratulations. I was like sort of a

12:44

compliment, but I mean, it was, it was sort

12:46

of like the acknowledgement that like, I

12:49

obviously am like seeing something, whether, you know, whether

12:51

or not every choice feels

12:53

like the right thing at the start. But yeah,

12:55

I think that for me, the biggest and most

12:58

important was like that first choice. So

13:00

consequential. Did you have people, did the people

13:02

in your life resist that?

13:04

Or was it so confusing to

13:06

them or did they kind of see it coming?

13:08

I think it was more confusing. I mean, my

13:11

parents, I think always knew that I

13:13

was kind of non-traditional

13:15

in that, I didn't even want to go to college in the

13:17

first place. And then when my, all my friends were going away,

13:19

I was like, no, I do want to go to college and

13:22

kind of did my own thing when

13:25

given the opportunity. And so I don't

13:27

think that they were shocked, but I do think they were like, is

13:30

my daughter's life going to be ruined by

13:32

this choice? That like, she seems really adamant

13:34

on making. How much power do we have

13:36

in like her making these choices? And I

13:39

think that, you know, I think most parents

13:41

feel that way as

13:43

they watch their kids get older, no matter what age they

13:45

are. But, you know, being like,

13:48

is this, how much control do I have

13:50

over this person who's like clearly made up their mind? Right.

13:52

Who's a legal adult? Exactly. Yeah.

13:57

Did you, when you started working in the

14:00

room, restaurant where you're like, great, this

14:02

is what I this is actually what exactly where

14:04

I want to be. Yeah. And I and like the first

14:06

few months in the restaurant, I mean, I cried every day.

14:08

I was like, I've ruined my life.

14:10

This was terrible. I'm, you

14:13

know, but I never thought I made the wrong choice. I

14:16

was never like, Oh, I should have stayed in school. I

14:18

should I should have not given this a shot. I was

14:20

just like frustrated that I wasn't good yet. Okay,

14:23

because like, it's like, it's like a someone who's like

14:25

trying to do something physical that they really aspire to.

14:27

And they're like, I'm just I don't have the skill

14:29

yet. And like, that's kind of what

14:32

it was like, I knew I wanted to learn how

14:34

to cook and do it well and an inspired to it

14:36

so much. But like, I was burning things, I was

14:38

dropping things might, I didn't want to use a knife. I

14:40

didn't know like, the physicality of being in a professional

14:42

kitchen, because that is something that you have to learn. Right,

14:45

right. And the people you were working with in

14:47

the restaurant where they like we see you, and

14:50

we're gonna show we're gonna show you

14:52

we believe them. Yeah, my boss, my like immediate

14:54

boss and mentor Ron, he was like, well, you

14:56

want to be here. And you really care. And

14:59

that's like half the battle. That's more than half

15:01

the battle. Like you can teach someone how to

15:03

do something. But you can't teach somebody

15:05

to like care and teach somebody

15:07

to be enthusiastic. And like,

15:09

I feel that way about like, when I think

15:11

about hiring people or whatever, like moving forward and

15:14

in job related stuff, or yeah,

15:16

I don't I mean, you can teach anyone

15:18

most things. And if the skill isn't there,

15:20

I'm more I'm more willing to overlook that

15:22

than be like, Oh, but you your personality

15:24

gets it like, we see

15:26

each other. Yeah, right, right. Like you

15:28

want to you want to imagine that

15:31

you're bringing people into a

15:33

workplace who want to leave the workplace better

15:35

than when they arrived. Like you're always thinking

15:37

about growth. Yeah, or just also

15:40

understanding that like, no one's good at everything

15:42

when they start doing it. And

15:44

it just like takes time and everyone has to

15:46

start somewhere. And I started like a very high

15:48

level kitchen. Yeah, that I felt very lucky that

15:50

they didn't just tell me to leave because they,

15:53

by all accounts, like probably should have because I didn't know what

15:55

I was doing. But it was

15:57

a lot of like really patient people and I like just

16:00

felt really lucky to be there and kind of like tried to

16:02

learn as much as I could from the people around me and

16:05

Do a good job. Do you remember the first thing

16:07

that you made there

16:09

that you really thought?

16:12

Oh, I I've connected with okay. I did this I

16:15

did you know I wish I did but I it's

16:17

funny because I have like my recipe book from that

16:19

time and it is So sweet

16:21

and like pure, you know, it's like

16:23

just full of enthusiasm for cooking and

16:25

baking and life but

16:28

I mean like I think there's like a few recipes in

16:30

the beginning that I probably were like the first things that

16:33

I made like Cookie dough and ice cream

16:35

base and like a lemon curd and like, you know kind

16:37

of based more basic bakery

16:40

style dessert things but

16:43

yeah, the first time that you like when

16:45

you're cooking and someone says like For

16:48

example like roast until blah blah blah

16:51

and you're like, why do my carrots always turn out

16:53

like wet? Even though like I'm roasting

16:55

them to the time that they say Right

16:57

and you're like, oh you just got a roast them

16:59

longer and you'll know you'll know when you know When

17:02

a carrot is like wonderfully roasted and then you

17:04

do it for the first time and you're like, oh, that's a

17:06

well roasted carrot or whatever it can be something

17:08

simple but like I think so much about

17:10

cooking and baking is like doing it for the first

17:12

time and Having success with it and being like,

17:14

oh, that's what I was trying

17:16

to achieve this whole time Like

17:18

making caramelized onions for the first time

17:21

very well. Totally. Yeah You're like wait,

17:23

I followed the instructions and they're still

17:25

white and wet. Yeah, so you mean

17:27

like I have to go Off

17:30

for this page. Yeah go further

17:33

Yeah, and that's like when

17:35

like, you know intuition and like taking into account like

17:37

very variability in the kitchen, but like That's

17:39

when you also start to like listen to yourself. You're like,

17:42

oh cooking is not just about following instructions It's about listening

17:44

to yourself and being like I know and this is ready

17:46

or when it's not ready Which is difficult

17:48

to do when you write books, but yeah,

17:50

very difficult It's very it must be very difficult when

17:52

you write books to kind of like figure I

17:55

can't imagine the technical writing It's actually hard

17:57

for me as a cookbook lover

18:00

to imagine the technical writing

18:03

aspect of, like, the

18:05

recipe itself. Yeah, I mean,

18:07

you wanna so badly, like, talk to the person

18:09

cooking, like, speak directly to you and be like,

18:11

try to imagine you in the

18:13

kitchen and you're like, well, she says this, but I only

18:16

have this, I wonder if that's okay. Like, me

18:18

anticipating that need and, like, writing that into the

18:21

recipe, but, like, so much

18:23

about writing a recipe is just, like, committing to, like, the

18:25

name and the flavor profile and writing it down. But

18:27

some of it's arbitrary. It's like, you could use a

18:30

shallot, you could use an onion, you could use a

18:32

fennel bulb, you could use mushrooms, who cares? But you

18:34

can't write a recipe that's like, do whatever, like, necessarily.

18:36

Like, some people really want the structure and the parameters.

18:39

Right. So

18:41

the technical aspect to that end is like, yeah,

18:43

there's a million ways to roast a chicken. I

18:46

just, this is a recipe this way. You know,

18:48

but it's not definitive. There's

18:51

more choice words in just a moment. If

18:59

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Maybe you feed them kibble recommended by a vet

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or a fresh food diet. But did you know

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that these are often low in protein, high in

19:17

carbs and may cause weight, mobility, dental

19:20

and skin conditions? That

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is where Maeve comes in. Your

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and absorb key nutrients from an

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21:05

you were growing up, did you love food?

21:07

Like, was this, is this like, you

21:10

know, like when we all watch videos of Beyonce

21:13

singing at the age of two. And

21:15

we're like, oh, well, she was destined. Well, of

21:17

course she's. Yeah, I don't think I was destined

21:19

in that way, but I do. I

21:22

like I know people that like cook for a living

21:24

and there's like pictures of them in a little chef

21:26

hat at like eight. And I'm like, no, that wasn't

21:28

really my vibe. I think that I associated

21:31

food and cooking with like being happy

21:33

and like some of my best memories

21:36

as a kid had to do with

21:38

cooking. And I think that like as

21:40

a person who had a pretty complicated relationship with her

21:42

mom, she liked

21:44

to entertain a lot. And she

21:47

was always in her best mood when she

21:49

was cooking and entertaining and having people over

21:51

and all that stuff. So I like made

21:53

this very early association with like cooking

21:56

makes people like you cooking means you're

21:58

in a good mood, cooking, having people

22:00

over as. like happy. That is so

22:02

cool. It's so cool to me that you're

22:04

saying that because I mean,

22:06

because I love your cookbooks so

22:09

much and they really express that

22:12

they are so much about community

22:14

of people coming together. The

22:17

photography is beautiful. It's very,

22:19

it's very communal, very intentionally,

22:21

like about entertaining, like people

22:23

are coming over. Yeah, it's

22:25

pretty casual, but also beautiful.

22:27

Yeah. And like you can, it

22:30

can just be a source of joy, where so many people

22:32

phrase it in the like, this stresses me out and I

22:34

hate it. And then sometimes I'm like, well,

22:36

then don't do it. But yeah, I don't have to, I

22:38

don't have to do it. You can stop. So,

22:41

you know, what is also okay, so

22:43

you're, you're cooking, you're creating your writing

22:45

books, but you also

22:48

are educating, you're

22:50

also talking to

22:52

people, you're making videos, you're coaching

22:54

people, you're bringing people along, you're

22:56

developing a personality that

22:58

is interacting with an audience at the

23:00

same time that you're cooking and

23:03

developing rest. What was the I guess,

23:05

what was the impetus to add

23:08

that into your world? I

23:11

think that when I decide like part of what

23:13

I enjoyed about working in restaurants was learning. Yeah.

23:15

And I worked in restaurants for six or seven years.

23:18

And I don't believe people are ever through learning. I'm

23:20

I still learn how to do stuff all the time.

23:22

But right, I did feel like I sort of plateaued

23:24

in the restaurant space. And

23:26

it was like

23:28

no longer fulfilling to me to like not interact with

23:31

people in a way that like, I liked

23:33

teaching people in the kitchen, like within that.

23:35

And so when new people would come into

23:37

work there, I would train them. And I

23:39

really liked that part. But I

23:42

think it's because that's how I responded. And that's how I learned

23:44

how to cook I was really inquisitive.

23:47

Someone would tell me like, this is how you do this.

23:49

And I'd be like, why? Like,

23:51

I, I needed to know the how and the

23:53

why in order to fully appreciate it and do

23:56

it. But also if I understood that, then I

23:58

could understand other things. I never I

24:00

never liked just being told what to do. I

24:02

did need to sort of hear the reasoning behind

24:04

it, and I wanted, and craved, like more information,

24:06

which I think made me a better cook from

24:08

an early age. And I realized

24:11

that I liked that

24:13

as a recipient, and I don't think it was

24:16

like a conscious choice to be like, okay,

24:18

now I'm a teacher, and now I'm no longer the

24:20

student, I'm a teacher. But I just

24:22

found that like, I'm also

24:24

very verbose, and I think that like, if

24:27

you're gonna call me and say, how do I roast a

24:29

whole fish? I'm going to tell you

24:31

in the way that I would

24:33

want someone to tell me, and

24:35

that I'm gonna say, this is how you're gonna ask for

24:37

it, and here's why. Here's why you don't ask for the

24:39

other one. Here's what you're gonna do. And

24:42

if it doesn't release from the skillet, that means

24:44

X, Y, and Z, so keep cooking it. So

24:47

I think, yeah, like I really enjoy talking

24:49

to people the way that I would want to be talked to, you

24:51

know, that's like a general rule of how to live. But I

24:54

think, especially with regards to remembering how

24:56

I responded to being taught, and the

24:58

things that really stuck with me, and

25:00

how to like really communicate with people

25:02

in a way that feels

25:04

personal, that you are sort of in

25:07

effect, both entertaining and teaching at the same time. Which

25:09

I feel like, I mean, not to be

25:11

like, but you. But like, that was something that

25:13

I always really enjoyed about everything that you did,

25:16

which was, you know, you're sort

25:18

of watching for the information and the news, but

25:20

you're also being entertained. And it's so rare that

25:22

a person can do both so well, so. Oh,

25:24

thank you. Thank you for your time. It's

25:27

like fun to, I agree with you. I think it's

25:29

really fun to be very engaged with something, to really

25:31

love something so much that you just have to kind

25:33

of talk about it. Or you're

25:35

so interested in something. And then you've

25:37

created, you've built this whole world of

25:41

your career where you're just showing

25:44

people how to do things. It's so, it's

25:46

relaxing to me. I love watching

25:49

people cook. It's like one of my favorite

25:51

things. Find it like a meditation. And

25:54

it's a very learning. Are there like,

25:56

aha kind of moments in

25:58

your own cooking when you- you were learning at that

26:00

young age where you were like, oh, oh

26:03

my God, like something really connected

26:05

for you, like emulsifying a salad

26:07

or like something so simple, like

26:09

just. So I have a

26:11

recipe coming out in the summer. I don't know when this

26:13

is airing, but maybe it'll be around the same time. But

26:17

for like this eggplant pasta, right? And so

26:19

I feel like I

26:21

don't like doing eggplant on the stovetop because you need a

26:23

lot more oil than if you just roast it with olive

26:25

oil. Eggplant will like

26:28

needs a lot of oil to roast or to get color

26:31

and then you can sort of eat it as is like,

26:33

and then you're like, this is

26:35

good, but not as delicious or like the texture is weird

26:37

or, or I don't know, like something has always been off

26:39

for me, but I made a

26:41

pasta with it the other day and I added

26:43

so much pasta water back into the pasta

26:46

dish. And it's almost like if you think

26:48

about eggplant as a sponge that you're dehydrating

26:50

in the oven and then rehydrating with water,

26:53

the texture became so deliciously creamy, almost

26:55

like custardy, like as if I had

26:57

added eggs or something, which I've experienced

27:00

also when you like roast whole eggplant,

27:02

like the interior, like Baba ganoushi style

27:04

becomes like custardy, like

27:06

it's like steamed textured. And

27:09

I was like, Oh, if you roast the eggplant,

27:11

you concentrate the flavors, but then you add in

27:13

pasta water, like make this sauce

27:15

and somehow you get this like deeply

27:18

roasted flavor, but like really

27:20

delicious, saucy, fluffy texture of eggplant. And I was

27:22

like, wow, I can't believe I've never done this

27:24

before. That sounds delicious.

27:26

It's really good. Yeah. It's like

27:28

spicy. There's like some chili

27:31

paste in it and some like a very small

27:33

amount of tomatoes. I can't wait. I'll

27:35

send it to you. I'll give you a preview.

27:37

100% gonna make that. Okay. I like that. There's

27:40

some, man, pasta water

27:42

is ridiculously magical. That's silly.

27:45

I think most people that have

27:47

bad at home pasta experiences, but

27:50

think restaurant pasta is so good. It's because

27:52

of the pasta water. Right. Mm. Yep. I

27:54

agree. Do you, how was the shift for

27:56

you? What did that shift feel

27:58

like when you went from. I

28:00

like I work in restaurants and I work

28:02

in the food world and I work in

28:04

the food industry to suddenly not suddenly but

28:06

like To kind of open

28:08

your eyes one day and go millions of

28:10

people are making my recipes. I Don't

28:14

know. I was just kind of like whoa, like that's

28:16

right cool But it was also a different time like

28:18

the first time that had happened. It was like Instagram

28:21

was it was a thing but it wasn't what it is now Right.

28:24

There was no tick-tock. I wasn't on YouTube

28:26

like no one really knew who I was

28:29

Like it just was kind of like right

28:31

before Things blew up with

28:33

like people and food and like people started to pay attention Mm-hmm.

28:37

So it was sort of like This

28:40

magical thing, but it didn't necessarily feel like it

28:42

was happening to me It felt like it was

28:44

happening to the to the food, you know, okay,

28:46

like to the to the children Like

28:49

I had made these things and they're good

28:51

and people like them Right.

28:53

I didn't necessarily internalize it as like me.

28:55

I'm good. I internalized it as like yes

28:57

These cookies are so good, right and now

28:59

you know it too and like

29:02

it wasn't so much about me It

29:05

was right. It became about me later Okay,

29:08

I would say like the more popular the recipes

29:10

became then people are like well who's writing these

29:12

recipes and then it was me You know, like

29:14

it became right more quote personality focused I think

29:16

but at first it

29:18

definitely felt more like The

29:21

food was like the thing that was

29:23

honest a cent Yeah,

29:25

goodbye cookie was that do you remember

29:27

the first recipe that you wrote that

29:29

became like a huge sensation

29:32

like a big viral Sensation. Yeah, it

29:34

was the chocolate chunk shortbread cookies from

29:36

dining in Yeah, and

29:38

that's cool because that book it was my first book again

29:41

Like no one really knew who I was it wasn't like

29:44

I like a hundred thousand Instagram father if that like I don't

29:46

even think I had that many it was

29:48

just kind of like this thing that happened I remember I

29:50

was in on vacation with my best friend in Mexico at

29:53

the time Yeah, and this was like

29:55

in February of 2018 and I

29:59

looked I just watched my phone and all of a sudden

30:01

all these people started following me and people were commenting and

30:03

they were all talking about the cookie and someone reached out

30:06

to me from a magazine and was like, we want to

30:08

talk about these cookies. And I was like, what is happening?

30:11

Because it just hadn't

30:13

happened before. To anyone, I didn't have a frame

30:15

of reference. It wasn't something

30:17

that I aspired to. Do

30:19

you still make the cookies or are you Van Halen

30:21

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30:24

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30:27

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33:46

Do you, I want to talk to you about

33:48

making the show that you wish

33:51

to see in the world for

33:53

yourself. So, because I think many

33:55

of us have learned that the audience, really the only

33:57

audience you can guarantee

34:00

tea is yourself, really.

34:03

So what has it been

34:05

like? I guess what has it been

34:07

like for you making your home video

34:09

series? Okay, so I've sold two TV

34:11

shows in my short sweet life. None

34:13

of them have been made. So like,

34:15

and they're both great feeling. Yeah, it's

34:17

just great. Yeah, I've done like one

34:19

pre almost made one sold never made

34:22

one sold made never aired. So I

34:24

get closer every time. But

34:26

I sort of like used to think that if

34:28

I was really good at my job, and

34:31

I believed in myself, and I liked what I made that somebody

34:33

out there would see me and be like, Come

34:35

with me kid, like we're gonna give you all the things

34:37

that you want and ask for like, here's a TV show.

34:39

And here's a this and here's a that. Because you're good

34:41

and you deserve it, you know, right? And

34:44

that's just simply not the case now. And

34:46

so instead of feeling like down about it

34:48

or bad about it or bad about myself,

34:50

or being like, Oh, is it not good

34:52

enough? Like this gets made, how

34:54

come my stuff doesn't get made? Like, right? That

34:56

doesn't matter. And now I'm sort

34:58

of like, well, we live

35:00

in a blessed time where anyone can kind of make anything

35:02

they want and put it out there and hope that people

35:04

respond to it. And that's about

35:07

as much control as you can have. And

35:09

so now with home movies, I'm sort

35:12

of like, let's just

35:14

make a version of if

35:17

I were like, yeah, I'm gonna do like a

35:19

pretty straightforward cooking show. And it's gonna be like

35:21

really high quality. And it

35:23

could be on TV if it wanted to be, you know, like,

35:25

what does that look like? And it's me and

35:27

like a pretty small group of people who are all really good

35:29

at their jobs. And we're all like, cool,

35:32

like, let's do like, we don't have anyone telling us what to

35:34

do or how to do it or whatever.

35:36

So we really are being

35:38

like, okay, with a very small budget,

35:41

relying on like, you know, sporadic

35:44

advertising, we are trying

35:46

to stretch our, our legs

35:49

and be like, what would that look like if

35:51

we were to make like, a

35:53

TV show? Because for me in food

35:55

and in food content, quote unquote, I think

35:57

that there's so much like people are TikTok,

36:00

I'm like, I'm not because I'm almost 40. And I

36:02

just don't see that for me. I also don't think

36:04

I'd be good at it. And I

36:06

think it is a separate skill set that I

36:08

do not possess. But what I do possess is

36:10

this sort of more like old school, maybe outdated,

36:13

like definitely not like cutting edge, pretty

36:15

basic, like this person teaches you how to

36:17

cook something. And I'm like,

36:19

can't that be enough? It

36:21

can. I think it can. 100%

36:25

it can be. I

36:27

think it's very it's actually so helpful. It's

36:30

actually really healthy to go. I'm not. TikTok

36:33

is like a different animal. And

36:35

as you can appreciate it, you can love it.

36:38

It doesn't mean that you can execute on it

36:40

yourself. I would be fully sad. Oh

36:43

my God. We don't need to say that. I

36:45

can't tell you the number of times I've resisted

36:47

people's like need to get like just in a

36:50

workplace. They're like, you got to get on TikTok.

36:52

I'm like, please no. No

36:54

one wants this. I don't want, primarily

36:56

me. The world.

36:58

And that right now is the person I will listen to.

37:00

Yeah. You just have to like do

37:03

what is in your skillset and what you're good at

37:05

and what you're going to, I think

37:07

it's freeing. Yeah. It

37:10

is freeing. And I think that like the hope is

37:12

effectively that I one day do get to make

37:15

that like thing with a bigger budget and like.

37:17

Sure. Collaborate with people and like make something that

37:19

feels like I don't have to like read an

37:21

advertisement to make the work that I want to make.

37:24

But that is where we are, I

37:26

think. And most people find themselves in that position.

37:28

And I feel lucky that I'm even able

37:30

to pay for it a little bit. And I'm like, well, for now

37:32

that feels really good to me. I think

37:34

it's great. I feel like with the,

37:36

I feel like the entirety, obviously as

37:38

you've experienced this, I've experienced the entirety

37:41

of the entertainment industry

37:43

has contracted and kind

37:45

of, it's in a pretty bad

37:47

place. So actually taking the reins

37:49

for yourself is actually just satisfying

37:51

and great and so smart. Yeah.

37:54

I mean, you've seen it. Five different

37:56

iterations in that. Yeah. It's

37:58

very difficult to be like. Oh, where we are today

38:01

is not where we were when I started setting the

38:03

goals for myself. When you're like, okay, if I had

38:05

the goal 15 years ago to do X, Y, and

38:07

Z, I can't necessarily achieve

38:09

that goal today. And I think a lot of

38:11

people that have aspirations for entertainment,

38:14

especially like more traditional forms

38:16

like TV or now streaming, et cetera,

38:19

it's sort of like rudderless.

38:23

You know, you're like, how do I achieve this? Like I used

38:25

to feel like I had the idea of like how to get

38:27

there, but now I don't know. Yeah, just

38:29

I think it's like as simple as, I don't know,

38:31

I don't have any secrets. But it's

38:33

like, I think it's as simple as doing

38:35

the thing that you know that you love to do. And

38:38

that's the only thing. And then

38:40

whatever else comes is whatever else.

38:43

But as long as you're like

38:45

answering just like the core drive,

38:48

it's all going to be okay. Yeah,

38:50

I genuinely feel that way. And I

38:52

think that I've come to peace

38:54

with that. Like come to peace, come become a

38:56

piece. Yes, I hear you. I've

38:59

come to peace. I'm just being like,

39:01

oh, that's okay. Like I don't necessarily need to want

39:03

the thing that I wanted 10 years ago or five

39:05

years ago, because that thing is different now. Right.

39:07

Yeah. And so okay, wait, I didn't know

39:09

that you opened a general store. Can you

39:12

please tell me about what

39:14

is what I want to work there? You

39:16

can do a shift. You can sign up.

39:18

Can I? Yes. Okay, I

39:20

gotta say. It's in

39:22

a tiny town called Bloomville, New York. Yeah,

39:25

I bought a building in 2021, like very early

39:27

2021. And I was like, you know what? It

39:35

used to be a pizza restaurant slash

39:37

Airbnb, like a very beloved pizza establishment.

39:40

And I kind of was like, you know what? I don't want

39:42

to hedge my bets

39:44

that like, I

39:47

should rely on the internet for success. I

39:50

shouldn't rely on like things that I cannot

39:52

see, things that I cannot control for my

39:54

financial wellbeing, for my stability, for my creative

39:57

output, for my happiness. And so

39:59

I thought, okay, well, I've always wanted to open a grocery

40:01

store, this

40:05

could be a really great place for that. And

40:12

it just felt like a really cool

40:14

opportunity to

40:17

be like, I'm going to have a physical representation of

40:22

the thing that I've always done, it's

40:27

an obvious choice to be like, oh,

40:29

I'm going to do that. And

40:32

let's say the internet blows up tomorrow, let's

40:35

say Instagram shuts down, let's say

40:37

no one has access to social media and

40:40

being popular and getting paid for

40:42

advertisements based on your popularity. I

40:45

will have a full physical brick and mortar location

40:48

where I can live if I have to, I can make a living, I

40:51

can do something with that. I will have

40:53

a proper energy, but I'm

40:55

so glad that I did it. I

40:57

relate to what you're saying so

40:59

hard. I just

41:02

love like, it's very, I

41:04

grew up in Canada, just very pragmatic

41:06

to be like, no matter what happens,

41:09

you can retreat to this

41:11

place, people still will need to buy

41:13

things, people still need to learn how

41:15

to do stuff. And I'm like

41:17

right here, and I could live here, I could sleep on the... It's

41:21

like a worst case scenario, because we don't know what's

41:23

about to happen. We don't know if it's getting better,

41:25

if it's getting worse, and like interest rates were really,

41:27

really low, and I could afford it because most people

41:30

didn't consider it like a

41:32

viable residence because it was a

41:34

pizza restaurant, but not me. I was like, this

41:36

seems great. I could

41:38

live in a pizza restaurant. I am a

41:40

homesteader now, and I live in a restaurant.

41:42

Yeah, basically. How

41:45

do you eat when you're on the road? When

41:47

you're traveling around so much poorly, it's very difficult.

41:49

But I don't like doing it. I don't like

41:51

doing it anymore. Like going on the road

41:53

for like stretches at a time is not for me anymore.

41:56

That's like a young person's game. I just, I don't want to

41:58

do it. It's too hard.

42:00

It is too hard because you also like

42:02

you finish a thing and you're like, well,

42:04

everything's closed. So like, I'm not actually eating like

42:07

a full meal or like I'm rushing to eat

42:09

at like five and then I don't

42:11

know if my whole system gets thrown off.

42:14

It does. I've had a whole

42:16

reflection after doing some very bad travel in

42:19

airports where I was like, this

42:22

is your meeting people when people are in

42:24

an airport and you're traveling for work. People

42:26

are at a vulnerable spot. They

42:29

need to eat something. They're probably

42:31

upset. You know, you're like sad.

42:33

You're like, who's going to take care of the

42:35

weary traveler because it's nobody at the airport. Please,

42:38

they're not. And I'm like, there are such

42:40

simple fixes to this airport situation. I'm like,

42:42

please just offer people cheese and crackers. You've

42:44

got to have more cheese crackers. It's like

42:46

a part you got to show up. There's

42:48

got to be a free bowl of nuts

42:50

and a little wedge of Monterey Jack with

42:52

like a saltine. Can we have some

42:54

fresh bread? Can we just like have

42:57

some things? There are some such basic staff

42:59

of life issues at an airport where people

43:01

are there for 12 hours sometimes.

43:03

I think I would kill at an airport

43:05

if somebody gave me a lot of money

43:07

to develop and and like

43:10

design a restaurant concept for like four of

43:13

the top airports in the country. They

43:15

would crush. I would do such a good job

43:18

because you have like the Shake Shack and like,

43:20

you know, okay, that's an established burger restaurant

43:23

that like is in the airport and people

43:25

are like, oh wow, there's a Shake Shack here. Every

43:27

other restaurant in an airport is something you've never heard of.

43:30

You've never heard of it and they're making it's not a

43:32

place. Like there's no reason it should be them and not

43:34

me, you know, so I'm talking

43:37

like a meat and three style,

43:39

like beautiful, like rotisserie chicken with some vegetables. There's

43:41

like one soup. It's just it

43:43

can't be that hard. I'm like the sick.

43:46

You have advanced TSA

43:48

operations. You're letting on

43:50

Memorial weekend, like 30 million people traveled

43:53

and like reserved 10%

43:55

of the people to bring in rotisserie

43:57

chicken. Yeah, exactly. Somebody listening to this.

44:00

is like works in airport food service. And

44:02

it's like you have no idea how hard

44:04

it is. You guys are delusional. How dare

44:06

you? I'm like, how hard? Just

44:11

offer cheese, please. I

44:13

almost missed my flight the other day because I went

44:15

to a Joe in the Juice at some airport. And

44:18

I was like, Can I have the blah, blah, blah? And they're like,

44:20

Oh, we're out of kale. And I was like, Okay, I was like,

44:22

Can I have the tada? And they're like, We don't have any cucumbers.

44:25

And I was like, Can I have this? And they're like, Oh, we're

44:27

actually out of that too. And I was like, and I just I was like, I

44:29

gotta go. Yeah, you're just like,

44:31

Can I get some cheese that's in a cup?

44:34

And they're like, Yeah, you're literally bringing ingredients and

44:36

food to like, the most inconvenient

44:38

place in any given city. I

44:41

understand. And I don't I never begrudge the people

44:43

that work at the place. I was not at the

44:45

lady. I was just like, no, where's

44:49

the road to surgery? Yeah, it's not. It's not

44:51

the lady's fault. No, of course, that's our life

44:53

to be rude to airplane

44:55

or airport service people.

44:58

Absolutely not. But we could have

45:01

on a very basic level, a sweet

45:03

green. Yeah, I'm sure they're working on. I'm

45:05

sure I'm sure they'd love to be in a common or

45:08

you know, Alison Roman. I

45:10

just want you to do that so

45:13

badly. It was just because Alison Roman and they'll be

45:15

like, What do you have there? And I'll be like,

45:17

you'll have to come and find out. You'll have to.

45:19

It's just a variety of deliciousness. Do you like watching

45:21

because this is my last question because I

45:24

need to know, do you like watching the bear? Can

45:26

you watch bear? Don't you love it? I

45:28

love that show so much. I mean, I just am a fan of

45:30

the show. I'm a fan of the actors in it. I'm a fan

45:32

of the script. I'm a fan of I think they've done such

45:35

a great job of kind

45:38

of showing the emotional complexities of what it's

45:40

like to work in a restaurant, but also

45:42

tapping into the emotional complexities of the type

45:44

of person that decides to work in a

45:46

restaurant. It's not a regular individual.

45:48

There's some stuff going on. And as a

45:51

person who experiences that themself, I'm like, Wow,

45:53

I talk about feeling seen, you know, but

45:55

oh, yeah, I love it. I think it's

45:57

a great show. It's a great show. I

45:59

feel also that they capture the urgency of

46:02

being behind like in

46:04

a restaurant. Yeah, it's stressful a lot. You're like,

46:06

Oh, this is stressful. Just like it is stressful

46:08

to work in a restaurant. Just like, yes, it

46:10

makes my blood pressure. It's just, and I love

46:12

it. Yeah, the backstory of like the, the families

46:14

and the like, it really paints

46:17

an accurate portrayal of like, here's how

46:19

a person who decides to dedicate themselves

46:21

to working in a restaurant is made.

46:23

You know, here's where they come from.

46:25

And here's what they're seeking in a

46:27

restaurant environment and like why the restaurant

46:29

environment is like that. It's like all

46:31

woven in together. It's fascinating subject to

46:33

me. Yeah, it's a beautiful

46:35

tapestry. Well, I thank you so deeply

46:37

for this. This was so fun for

46:40

me. Oh, same. I really am

46:42

just such a fan of yours. I can't say it enough times.

46:44

You're, you're so important to

46:47

culture. Well, you're important

46:49

to culture. Also,

46:51

thank you. That

46:59

was Alison Roman and I had no choice

47:01

but to look up one thing. She has

47:03

had so much success with online recipes. So

47:05

I needed to know what was the most

47:08

searched for recipe last year.

47:10

Well, turns out in 2023,

47:12

the most

47:15

people Googled how to make

47:17

a McDonald's grimace

47:19

shake. I find

47:21

that so shocking. I

47:24

have never tried one. It

47:27

definitely sounds scary and

47:31

purple and disgusting,

47:33

but also maybe delicious.

47:36

Okay. Thank you so much for

47:38

joining us. I'm Samantha Bee. See you next

47:40

week for some more choice words. Thank

47:56

you for listening to choice words, which was created

47:58

by and is hosted by The

48:01

show is produced by Xvia Bierreich-Reinstein with

48:03

editing and additional producing by Josh Richmond.

48:05

We are distributed by Lemonado Media and

48:08

you can find me at Reel Sam

48:10

B on Instagram and X. Follow

48:13

Choice Awards wherever you get your podcasts or

48:15

listen ad-free on Amazon Music with your Prime

48:17

membership. Hey

48:19

everyone, it's David Duchovny. When

48:22

it comes to confidently managing her finances,

48:24

she's a beginner. Join her on The

48:26

Doe, Lemonado Media's new 10 episode podcast

48:28

series as she dives into better understanding

48:30

the financial trapdoors that any of us

48:32

could fall into. If you've ever

48:35

stayed in a bad relationship to avoid moving out

48:37

costs or found yourself swimming in debt, you're not

48:39

alone. Each week she'll be exploring

48:41

all types of financial flops and money myths that

48:43

stand in the way of our financial freedom. On

48:45

this show, Cash is Queen. We hardly know her,

48:47

but we're determined to be her friend. You can

48:49

listen to The Doe on Amazon Music or wherever

48:52

you get your podcasts. Hey

48:55

everyone, it's David Duchovny. Did you

48:57

ever feel like a failure? Trust

48:59

me, I get it. Hell, I've spent

49:01

my whole life almost feeling like a

49:04

failure. It's appropriate though

49:06

because on Fail Better, my new podcast

49:08

with Lemonado Media, exploring the

49:10

world of failure, how it holds us

49:13

back, propels us forward, and

49:15

ultimately shapes our lives is the whole

49:17

point. Each week

49:19

I'll chat with artists, athletes, actors,

49:21

and experts about how

49:23

our perceived failures have actually been our

49:26

biggest catalysts for growth, revelation,

49:29

and even healing. Through

49:31

these conversations, I hope we can learn how

49:33

to embrace the opportunity of failure and

49:36

Fail Better together. Fail

49:38

Better is out now. You can listen ad-free

49:41

on Amazon Music or wherever you get

49:43

your podcasts.

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