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1:36

Lemonado. Did

1:42

you know that 10% of

1:44

the current Senate is

1:46

named John? It's

1:49

true. 10 out of 100 members

1:52

of the over-exclusive Senate have the

1:54

same name, which, hmm, calls

1:58

to mind the list. late night

2:00

TV landscape where you'll find twice

2:03

as many Jimmys as you'll find

2:05

one. And although the number

2:07

of Jimmys may change, the number

2:10

of women seems to always stay

2:12

the same. Might not always

2:14

be the same woman, but there's almost

2:16

always just one of her. Now

2:20

this is personal for me because for a time,

2:23

I was that solo woman on late night

2:25

TV, which is why today

2:27

I have some serious choice words

2:30

whoever decided at some point that

2:32

there could only be just one

2:34

at a time. 10

2:36

Johns is exactly the right amount to have

2:39

in the Senate, but only one

2:41

female will do the trick on late

2:44

night TV. Why? Do

2:46

you think we all live together and only

2:48

one of us can leave the covenant night

2:50

while the others stay home and bake tomorrow's

2:52

bread? Or maybe these people,

2:55

men, I'm pretty certain, think that

2:57

if you hear from one woman, you

2:59

have heard from all of them. Surely

3:02

we must all be saying the same thing.

3:04

So just choose one, butter on

3:06

TV, a letter doodle lady explaining for a

3:08

few years so we sub her out with

3:11

a different one. Maybe we'll let the next

3:13

one have curly hair. I don't

3:15

know. But here's the thing,

3:17

women, I don't know

3:19

if you know this, we contain multitudes.

3:22

We've been trying to tell you that for literally

3:25

ever. So we actually,

3:28

this is so funny, we

3:30

actually all have different opinions

3:32

and we say different things with

3:35

different interests. And oh

3:38

my God, we even have different

3:40

expertise. You could benefit

3:42

from having more than one woman on

3:44

TV at once, just like you benefit

3:46

from having more than one law and

3:48

order at once. This

4:03

is Choice Words. I'm Samantha Bee.

4:05

My guest today is currently the

4:08

lone lady of late night and I

4:10

love watching her rise. You

4:12

know Taylor Tomlinson from her current

4:14

show After Midnight and Netflix specials.

4:16

Have it all. Look at you.

4:18

In Quarter Life Crisis, I

4:22

absolutely loved talking to her about what

4:24

it's like just starting out in late

4:27

night and why it's so frustrating that

4:29

seemingly there can be

4:31

only one woman in the genre

4:33

at a time. She's great. So

4:35

take a listen and make the choices.

4:42

I'm so excited to be talking to you

4:44

right now. Me too. It's

4:46

so nice to meet you. It is

4:48

so nice to meet you. I feel

4:50

like I'm gonna

4:52

say it. I feel like everyone

4:55

in my household really knows you.

4:57

We don't really know you but we

4:59

like know you. We do.

5:02

My kids have watched your special. My

5:04

husband is a really big fan. We're

5:06

all just like really the Bee Jones

5:08

family is a family of

5:10

fans. Oh my god. That's

5:12

so nice. I think they'll be jealous that

5:14

I'm getting to talk to you. You're not

5:16

on tour right now. Your

5:19

tour is finished or

5:21

are you on the road? Well,

5:24

no, I'm on the road. I'm

5:26

not on the road currently at this moment but

5:28

I go to Vegas tomorrow. I have shows

5:30

in Vegas tomorrow. After Midnight

5:33

started in January and

5:35

I wasn't touring the first couple months of

5:37

that. In the last month or so,

5:41

I'm back on the road pretty much most

5:44

weekends. When you

5:46

are facing travel like that, are you

5:48

like, I'm ready or are you like,

5:50

oh my god here. Here's I gotta

5:52

get my packing cubes. Where did I

5:54

fucking put them? Oh no. Man, I

5:57

was so good about packing cubes. it

10:00

is more people kind of more eyeballs, more

10:03

people just kind of

10:05

tuned into your trajectory a little

10:08

bit with, with, with either good

10:10

intentions, or nefarious intentions.

10:13

Yes, just more of everything, just more of

10:15

everything. I think one of the most

10:19

are sort of like awkward or difficult

10:22

transitions that a performer can make is

10:24

kind of like that moment where your

10:26

career shifts to becoming

10:28

very known. So you go

10:30

from like having making your own choices and kind

10:32

of like doing your own thing and

10:35

into when you're projected on a much

10:37

larger stage, it's hard

10:39

to kind of get used to did you feel

10:41

that in your own life, where

10:44

you had to go, Wait a second, oh, it's

10:46

a little different. Yeah,

10:48

I think I'm still getting used to

10:50

it, honestly, because, you

10:52

know, my first Netflix special came out a

10:55

week before COVID lockdown.

10:58

Okay, a lot of people

11:00

were discovering me while

11:02

we were all trapped inside. So

11:04

I hate the only way I

11:06

knew that my

11:08

life was changing in any way is that my

11:10

Instagram followers were going up. But

11:12

that's not always a guarantee

11:15

that people are going to pay money to come out

11:17

and see you live. So right, it took months

11:20

and months for me to get back

11:22

in front of live audiences and realize

11:24

that my career was very different. Right.

11:27

So that was certainly an interesting start.

11:29

And then yeah, with doing after

11:31

midnight, I think, because when I agreed to do

11:34

it, I just thought it sounded fun. And I

11:36

wanted to work with all the people involved. When

11:39

it was announced, and it was like, so

11:42

many headlines about it, I was taken

11:45

aback. And I'm probably

11:47

just very stupid that I didn't see

11:49

that coming. But that felt very overwhelming

11:52

to sort of like hear

11:54

from everyone I knew and

11:56

even Yeah, in the last

11:58

six months, you know, being Like

18:00

I came into a project that

18:02

was a reimagining of another show that

18:04

had been on Comedy Central and was

18:06

now being put on a different network

18:08

and with some of the same people

18:10

and with some new people and

18:13

was being formatted in a different

18:15

way, but they were looking for a host

18:18

for something that was already developed. And

18:22

you guys were in a situation

18:24

where a show was being

18:27

created around you and you were

18:29

like more involved in like

18:31

the DNA of that show. And

18:33

we invented the medium. And

18:35

we invented it. We invented it. And

18:38

so let's just own it. I

18:40

do feel like you have really made it your

18:42

own though. And I'm going to give you tons

18:45

of compliments about it because I do feel like

18:47

it has your I

18:50

feel you at the center of it. Do you know what

18:52

I mean? Like I don't actually I want to I

18:54

want to tell you that I don't feel I

18:57

don't as a viewer feel

18:59

like oh, it's just a show you're in.

19:02

I feel like it is your show. I

19:04

really do feel that way. So this is anyways,

19:07

that's all I'm saying. That's

19:10

all I'm saying. Who

19:12

do you OK. So when you think when

19:14

you look back at your career

19:16

so far, which like you have such

19:18

a long road of beautiful

19:21

experiences in a wild goddamn

19:24

roller coaster of the entertainment industry, it's all

19:26

like ahead. But when

19:28

you look back, can you think of choices a

19:31

choice that you've made that really impacted you that

19:33

maybe impacted you in an unexpected way or

19:36

you dove into something that you were like,

19:38

I don't know. I

19:40

mean, can I use not to just keep harping

19:42

on after midnight, but can I use after midnight?

19:44

Of course you can. You can use anything. This

19:47

is yours. You're it's a

19:49

big it was a big choice, right? Oh

19:52

my gosh, probably one of the

19:54

biggest, if not the biggest, I

19:56

think the two biggest choices I've

19:59

made were. A,

20:01

submitting for an hour special on Netflix,

20:03

which I can't even take full credit

20:05

for. My manager, Judy, was the one

20:07

who was like, we should go for

20:09

this. I was like, let's just

20:11

ask him for half an hour. Let's not push it. And

20:14

then yeah, after midnight was, I mean, I

20:16

thought about whether or not to take this job

20:18

for months, like even before they offered it to

20:20

me when I was just interviewing for it and,

20:23

you know, doing like a screen test and

20:25

all that. I really

20:27

was not sure if I could do

20:30

it or not for a long time

20:33

because it doesn't

20:35

prevent me from doing standup, but it does

20:37

prevent me from doing as much standup as

20:39

I was doing because I was on the

20:42

road constantly. I mean,

20:45

nonstop. Just, I

20:47

mean, there were some weeks where I was

20:49

home like Monday to do laundry and then

20:51

I would fly out again on Tuesday and

20:53

do shows Wednesday through Sunday

20:55

or Wednesday for Saturday.

20:58

So I can't do

21:01

that anymore. I'm

21:03

down to like, you know, Friday, Saturday, and

21:05

I don't make my own schedule anymore. Like

21:08

I'm kind of waiting for

21:10

CBS to tell us when we're

21:12

going to shoot. And

21:14

that's been an adjustment coming

21:17

from standup, which was kind of

21:19

all up to me. So it

21:21

was a lot to consider before I accepted

21:24

the job because I didn't

21:26

know if I was going to be good

21:28

at it. I didn't know if I was

21:30

going to like it. I really, truly just

21:32

every step of the way

21:34

through the interview process, everyone I met with,

21:37

I just really liked and I just really

21:39

wanted to work with them. And

21:42

I loved touring and I had

21:44

sort of my little road family

21:46

of my

21:48

tour manager and my best friend who opens for me.

21:50

And so I felt very supported

21:53

and social on

21:55

the weekends. And then I would come back to LA

21:57

and kind of feel like, why do I even live

21:59

here? like it's so far, like maybe I should move

22:01

to the middle of the country where it's easier to

22:04

travel. Right, I should move to a flight

22:07

hub. Yes,

22:09

exactly. I

22:11

should move to Cedar Rapids. Yes, my

22:13

friend Kelsey moved to Minneapolis and I'm

22:15

like, that was so smart. Like, that's

22:18

hardcore. It's so good for

22:20

the road. And even like, you

22:22

know, being in New York and coming from New

22:24

York, it's just easier because you're gaining time. So

22:26

I was really like struggling

22:29

with whether or not to even stay

22:31

in LA before this job. And I thought, well,

22:33

if I take this job, I'm

22:35

going to get to be a part of a team. Right.

22:38

And I think that'll

22:40

be probably better for me in the

22:43

long run as far as like my development as a

22:45

person. Right.

22:48

Yeah, I really took it to

22:52

sort of grow in different ways and sort of diversify

22:55

my ego. Like, COVID really

22:58

showed a lot of us that I think that,

23:00

you know, if your whole identity was

23:03

your job, and you couldn't do your

23:05

job anymore, like we couldn't as live

23:07

touring performers, I

23:09

sort of had not even a moment of

23:11

panic, months of panic, where I was like, oh, who am

23:14

I if I can't do stand up? I don't know if

23:16

I have anything else. So I really

23:19

just I wanted the the

23:22

social aspect, I wanted the team

23:24

aspect, I wanted to make something with

23:26

a group of people every day, like,

23:28

and I wanted to develop

23:31

other skills besides just stand

23:33

up. Right. So you do all

23:35

of this background work you do,

23:37

you're like meeting with them, you're like,

23:39

it's very casual. It's very

23:41

casual until it's not casual. And they go, actually,

23:44

we want you for the job. You're the one.

23:46

Were you like, Oh, shit, I was

23:49

just kidding. I was jealous

23:51

a joke. I didn't even want

23:53

you to even want it. Well,

23:55

luckily, by that point, I decided I

23:57

wanted. Okay, good. Well, I did the

24:00

I did the screen test the

24:02

week before, like maybe five days

24:04

before. Okay. So up until

24:06

the screen test, the screen test was kind of the

24:08

last thing I needed

24:10

to see because it was essentially doing

24:13

what would have been as close to a show as we

24:15

could feel like, like it was like a mini fake show.

24:19

And I did it and I had a lot of fun and

24:21

I liked it and thought, oh

24:23

man, now I think I want it. And

24:26

five days later I had it and as soon as they

24:28

gave it to me, it was like off

24:30

to the races. I mean, it was, you

24:32

know, two days later it was announced and everywhere

24:34

and it was like, you

24:37

can't tell anybody you got it. We have to

24:39

announce it on Colbert. Like don't tell anybody for

24:41

the next two days. Okay. So

24:43

yeah, it wasn't really like you

24:46

got the job, think about it if you want

24:48

it. It was kind of like I had thought

24:50

about it for months already and I talked to

24:52

everybody in my life about it and

24:54

gone back and forth a million times before

24:57

I finally settled on it. And

24:59

even when I started doing the show, it was

25:02

really overwhelming. I mean, it was a lot of press

25:04

upfront about the show that I hadn't even done yet.

25:06

So I was sort of going like, I don't know

25:08

yet. I'm not sure what it's going to feel like.

25:11

And then when the show started, it was obviously a

25:13

learning curve and I was really sick at the time

25:16

and I was sort of like struggling

25:18

with the fact that I was having health

25:20

issues and also I wasn't doing stand up

25:22

because I was focusing on the show and

25:25

it was really hard. It's been

25:27

really hard, but it's also been so

25:30

worth it and it's been everything I wanted it

25:32

to be. And it's great. Yeah.

25:35

That's amazing. Do you

25:37

feel like you have established then like

25:39

a cadence for yourself that makes sense?

25:43

Like your body is like a little, this is so, it's

25:46

really weird that I'm saying these, is

25:48

your body center? Like no, but I

25:50

mean, it takes a little,

25:53

it's your scrambling. I feel like for

25:55

the first little while, at least for

25:57

me, I was just like clawing at

25:59

the dirt, just like trying. trying to

26:01

breathe. You just can't

26:03

even really experience it until you can take

26:05

a breath. Have you taken a

26:07

breath? I

26:09

think I've taken a breath. It's

26:12

crazy because you feel like you've gotten

26:14

the hang of it and

26:17

then something changes or you get notes from

26:19

the network or your schedule

26:22

changes and then you're kind of like,

26:24

whoa, okay, all right, all right, we'll

26:26

get our footing again. There's been multiple

26:28

times that I felt like, awesome, cruise

26:30

control, we got it and then something

26:32

changes and you go, okay, let's readjust.

26:35

I feel like I've learned a lot. I think I'm still learning

26:37

how to do it. I mean, everyone

26:40

I've talked to in all of the

26:43

podcasts I've listened to and interviews I've

26:45

watched, people with some

26:47

sort of late night show have said just what

26:49

you said, which is like, it took a while

26:52

to adjust. I mean, how long do you

26:54

feel like it took you before you were like, I

26:57

got it. I know the mode I get

26:59

into, I can switch into it pretty quickly.

27:03

I think that it took a while. I think it maybe

27:05

took, I think it took two

27:07

years to get very comfortable,

27:09

to be very,

27:11

okay, okay, to know

27:15

every ingredient in the process,

27:17

but it took less

27:19

time than that to get a kind of a

27:22

rhythm to it. Like, here's my free show

27:24

snack. Do you know what I mean? Like,

27:27

here's what I know sets me

27:29

up for success in this and here's how I

27:31

like to come down from this

27:33

experience. And here's, like, I know

27:35

that I shouldn't do two

27:38

interviews in one day that are

27:40

big. Like, that was a mistake.

27:43

My mind exploded. It

27:46

takes some time to kind of like

27:48

feel that out for yourself. So

27:51

it's and you and you really

27:53

have to I think, but I will say that like,

27:56

I don't know that you

27:58

ever really ever can get

28:00

so comfortable because it's a

28:02

weird public job. And

28:05

I think maybe when people get

28:07

too comfortable in these positions,

28:09

then quality deteriorate. So

28:11

I actually think it's good to be on your toes

28:13

a little or on the front of your feet to

28:16

be like, I don't know, maybe we'll

28:20

see. It's a

28:22

devastating realization that anxiety is

28:24

actually really helpful. It's so

28:27

helpful. Yeah, that comes

28:29

from being productive and high achieving.

28:32

It's actually served me pretty well. Me

28:35

too. It just feels like

28:37

shit. But it's a great

28:40

adrenaline is so effective

28:44

and causes

28:46

your spine to disintegrate

28:48

over time. Look

28:51

at my IMDb page. You

28:55

know what is so funny? People have

28:57

described your comedy as being for everyone.

29:00

That's crazy to me. Yes, because

29:02

you're so you have

29:04

like a universal ability, your ability

29:07

to like, I mean, I'm saying with

29:09

my family, and we're all different ages

29:11

and sexes and

29:13

you know, but we can all kind

29:15

of we're all getting something from what

29:17

it is that you're delivering. I think

29:19

that's very, it's pretty

29:22

unusual quality. That's

29:24

really nice. I mean, look, it's all very

29:26

subjective. So I'm sure there's plenty of people

29:28

who are like, not for me. And

29:31

I'm everyone. But I think

29:33

if there's any degree of

29:36

that, it probably just comes from starting so

29:38

young and right, being a high schooler trying

29:40

to perform for

29:42

adults and going, okay, how

29:44

do I make what I'm

29:46

talking about something that they are

29:49

interested in and will laugh at and

29:51

isn't just like watching a

29:53

child do right a

29:56

performance for their parents after Thanksgiving

29:58

dinner, you know. I

30:01

would assume that's maybe where it comes from is

30:03

I'm I am a

30:05

very like personal More

30:08

confessional comedian, I guess I'm not really

30:11

observational but hopefully it

30:13

feels more observational because I start with

30:15

what I'm Going through right

30:18

and then I think okay. How are other

30:20

people going to relate to this

30:22

like what's their Entry point

30:24

because it is so Personal

30:26

do you ever want to dial back the personal nature

30:29

of it or do you are you just so? Comfortable

30:32

there. No, I think I've dialed

30:34

back the personal nature of it a lot in

30:36

the last two years I mean there are jokes

30:38

that I'm really proud of that I really like

30:40

that I just don't feel comfortable

30:42

doing that I did on tour for

30:45

a while and okay out and didn't

30:47

make it Into the special and you

30:49

know I could do an entire special

30:51

about certain things in my life that

30:53

I just it's just

30:55

not the time to talk about them and

30:57

there are lots of subjects that I Plan

31:00

to get into and would love to get into

31:02

but it's just not the

31:04

moment like I talked about losing

31:07

my mom at a young age in my second

31:09

special and Some

31:12

of those were jokes I had written it

31:14

You know 20 21 and I just didn't

31:16

have the maturity as a performer to pull

31:18

those off up until that point Right.

31:20

So I think there's something to

31:22

knowing when subjects

31:26

are Right, right. Yeah

31:29

in the right place to Deliver

31:32

that stuff as well because I think part

31:35

of it is like making the audience comfortable with what

31:37

you're talking about and you can't really Fake

31:40

that you're in a good place with

31:42

something Go to

31:44

a lot of therapy to get to a

31:46

place where I could convince thousands of people

31:49

that like oh, she's okay Like it's alright,

31:51

right? Right, right? Like do you are you

31:53

sometimes trying out new material and you're like,

31:55

oh You like

31:57

you hit almost like

31:59

a speed bump in your act where you're

32:02

like, every time we get here, I'm not

32:04

enjoying this joke. Maybe not

32:06

that I'm not enjoying it. But there's maybe

32:08

been moments of, oof, I

32:10

feel like I got to really hit this

32:13

mark so delicately. My second

32:16

special had a lot of that material in it

32:18

where I was like, I really got to like

32:20

focus and land this like a, like a

32:23

gymnastics routine. And by the end of that

32:25

tour, I was really tired. And I just

32:27

wanted to do like a more

32:30

fun, light hour. And so I think

32:33

my special that just came out, Have

32:35

It All is much lighter and

32:37

sillier and more fun and

32:39

much broader. And then I think the

32:41

new hour that I'm working on now

32:43

is sort of going back to being

32:46

more personal and a little touchier. But

32:48

I feel like I have recharged

32:50

and I'm in a place to do that again.

32:52

But there's certain things, yeah, that

32:54

you're like, oh, I'm worried

32:57

about sharing that. So maybe it's not the

32:59

time to share that yet. Right,

33:02

right. You're like, there. How can

33:04

I you're like, I'm gonna go

33:06

out tonight, how am I gonna

33:08

land this jumbo jet on this

33:10

dandelion? Yes. Should I? Should

33:12

I do it? Yes.

33:16

Or if you feel like audiences are just getting

33:19

uncomfortable, if they're uncomfortable then

33:21

they are laughing

33:23

and enjoying it, then you're not doing

33:25

your job as an entertainer. You

33:28

know, if not if you want to be a heavily

33:32

touring comedian anyway, you know, not

33:35

everybody does. Like if you want

33:37

to perform for your people in,

33:40

you know, LA and New York, like that's

33:42

totally fine and like valid and really well

33:44

to do. But if you want to be

33:46

somebody who can like go to our,

33:51

yeah, then right, you

33:53

got to be somebody who can make

33:55

it palatable for most

33:57

people. Casey

36:00

Foundation President and CEO Dr.

36:03

Carmen Rojas. Sign up

36:05

to join the Margaret Casey

36:07

Foundation Book Club today to

36:10

be among the first to

36:12

know about upcoming book club

36:14

events. Join at caseygrants.org backslash

36:17

book club that's caseygrants.org backslash

36:19

book club. Do

36:27

you have favorite, I guess you can't say

36:29

if you have favorite destinations. So the towns

36:31

where you're like, I just love doing

36:33

stand-up here. Like are you like, when I

36:36

get to Chicago, I feel alive. I do

36:39

love Chicago. Chicago is, I mean they have

36:43

notoriously great crowds. Such

36:45

a good comedy city. I love

36:47

Des Moines. Des Moines is great. I

36:50

just did Madison. Madison's

36:52

wonderful. I love DC.

36:54

That's where I'm at

36:57

next. I think DC's

36:59

incredible. Yeah. Denver, New

37:02

York. Like there's really so many.

37:04

Oh yeah, Denver. Denver's great for

37:06

comic. Great, great audiences. That's, did

37:08

you film, you filmed your last

37:10

special in DC, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

37:12

That was a great crowd. They

37:15

were great. And your jacket was awesome. Oh

37:17

my gosh. Thank you so

37:19

much. I was afraid it was too confident

37:22

for me. No. Didn't wear it. And sometimes

37:24

I'm like, maybe it was too confident. It's

37:26

a little like, that was

37:28

my like, I made it jacket. It's

37:31

a little, like that whole special, I was trying

37:33

to sort of tow the line of like, I'm

37:36

so grateful that I made it. And it's really

37:38

cool that I have the career I always wanted,

37:42

but not sound like I was like

37:45

bragging or wait, like you just, but you want

37:47

to be self aware about it. You can't go

37:49

up and be like, man, life's still really hard.

37:51

Like, no, things are going pretty good. Like I'm

37:54

going to talk about the areas of my life

37:56

that maybe aren't going as well. But also let's

37:58

acknowledge how well this is. And

38:01

be grateful for it and acknowledge the

38:03

crowds that are there to see you that made it happen. Right.

38:06

I put together a look.

38:08

Everything is coordinated up here.

38:10

Everything is intentional. Yes.

38:12

I do wish I'd hired a stylist for it

38:14

just because now that I have a stylist with

38:17

the show and everything. Oh

38:19

my God, it's so nice. I'm terrible at fashion.

38:21

If I find something that works, I will wear

38:23

that. I wore the same

38:25

outfit on tour my last tour

38:27

just every night. I just bought like three of them

38:30

and just cycled them through. That's so smart

38:32

though. That's good for packing. It's

38:34

great for packing. It's good for

38:37

packing. That's the secret.

38:39

Just the same outfit

38:42

every single night. Physically.

38:44

That's like Jackie Onassis. You

38:47

know, she would just find it, buy it

38:49

three different ways, different color ways. She just

38:52

makes a match. These are the tricks. She

38:54

just makes a match. Also, like, you know,

38:56

people who come out to see

38:58

you live, they want you to look like how

39:00

they think you look. That

39:03

is very true. They don't want to

39:05

see you dressed in a way that

39:07

they don't recognize you. Then they kind

39:09

of don't recognize you. Yeah.

39:11

They're like, that's not my comfort watch. Yeah.

39:13

You're like, why are you in puffy

39:16

sleeves? Yeah. What

39:18

is going on? What happened? We

39:21

feel betrayed. We have been betrayed. They

39:23

would never say that of the Jimmys.

39:25

There's so many Jimmys, but

39:27

they never wear puffy sleeves. They never

39:29

change it up. When I came into

39:31

the show, first off, I'm so stupid. I bought my

39:34

own suits. I was like, I probably need to buy

39:36

my own suits. And they're like, you're adorable. We're

39:38

going to hire a professional. The

39:40

cutest. That's the cutest thing ever. I

39:42

was like, I have some. And they're like, you're so

39:44

cute in the garbage. I

39:49

went to J. Crew and I got a bunch. I did. I went.

39:51

I got them. And then I also

39:53

was like, what if we just got like

39:55

the same suit in six

39:58

colors and then I just wore them.

40:00

them on a loop, like who really cares? And they're like, that's

40:02

never gonna happen. Isn't that so

40:04

funny? It actually is. I know

40:06

that I'm gonna paraphrase and this

40:08

is so I hope that this

40:11

I hope that she really said this and

40:13

I think that she did. But you know, I mean, Amy

40:15

Poehler, obviously, I read an interview with

40:17

her once and this was so so long ago. It

40:20

was like her and Tina Fey and they were

40:22

like, what's the thing that is so unexpected about

40:25

being a performer that you really hate? And

40:28

they were like grooming, the

40:30

fucking grooming is

40:32

unreal. And it is endless

40:35

for a woman. And

40:37

it really is bothersome. Do you feel

40:39

that? You know,

40:41

I thought I was really gonna hate getting

40:43

hair and makeup every day. Like I remember

40:46

in December when I was doing all this press, I

40:48

was like, I just I'm like, I, I'm

40:51

tired. I'm like, I'm tired of being

40:53

made up and perceived. And they were

40:55

like, you know, you just agreed to

40:57

a nightly show, right? Like, you know,

40:59

that's what you signed up for. And I'm like, Oh,

41:01

that's right. But now, because

41:03

I have the same people, you

41:06

know, fixing my hair and face every

41:08

day, right? Now I'm like, Oh, the

41:10

most relaxing part of my day is

41:12

just hanging out with Devin Havana, like,

41:14

right? This nice people, these lovely

41:17

people. There's an incredible amount

41:19

of like, styling and all

41:22

of that stuff. And the men really don't

41:24

do it. It's it is different. It is

41:26

very like the perception is completely different. And

41:28

I bet there are days where those guys

41:31

go in and they're like, do you want

41:33

just a little powder today? And they're like,

41:35

No, thanks. I'm already dressed.

41:38

The stage and everyone's like, amazing.

41:42

It's so much more prep time. And it's so much

41:44

more to think about. And even just

41:46

like, if there's an outfit, I'm not

41:48

sure about all wear it to rehearsal so we

41:50

can check it on camera. And which

41:53

is why I was like, let's just find one that

41:55

works and just wear that and I have it. I

41:58

mean, how how were you? with being

42:00

on camera, I mean,

42:02

obviously you've been on camera for years and

42:04

years, so maybe, I don't know,

42:06

that you would even feel

42:09

like you necessarily ever

42:11

felt strange about it, but I, and

42:14

it's one of the reasons why I took the

42:16

job, is I was like, I wanna kinda get

42:18

over myself, and this feels like exposure therapy, where

42:22

you're like, look, if you don't think you look

42:24

great on TV tonight, too bad, you're

42:26

on tomorrow. You got another shot at it tomorrow,

42:28

or like, maybe this week you weren't feeling it,

42:30

but it can get sort of

42:32

overwhelming sometimes, where you're like, oh my gosh,

42:34

I have to be on television tonight. I

42:38

think that the way that you just phrased

42:40

it is great, because it is like exposure

42:42

therapy. Like, I think it just, over time,

42:45

you personally, I

42:47

don't know if this is gonna resonate with you,

42:49

but I feel like I just personally developed a

42:51

relationship with a camera lens that

42:53

is just like, okay, we're together.

42:56

So there is a part of who I am, because

43:00

there's been so many years

43:02

of it, that when a

43:05

camera lens is fixed to me, my

43:08

body snaps into, it's like

43:11

a memory in the

43:13

bones. There's just a muscle, or

43:15

a muscle memory that just kicks in, where you're like,

43:17

I know how to stand, I know

43:19

how to face this hole

43:22

in a machine, and treat it

43:24

like it's a normal, treat it like it's a person. It's

43:27

just a person in my life. It's just another

43:29

relationship in my life. So,

43:31

but that developed over time. It

43:33

is bizarre to relate to a

43:36

little machine

43:38

hole. Yes. Doesn't

43:41

make any sense. And you're not really,

43:43

but you kind of are, because you're

43:45

learning what your space looks like,

43:47

and you're kind of like learning what your own

43:49

dimensions are in ways that other people don't really

43:51

have to think about. You're like, you

43:54

know, here's something that, it's

43:57

like we're not even doing a podcast now. It's just like, we're just like,

44:00

I agree to do this so I

44:02

could just meet you and talk to you and ask

44:04

you. I love this. I once had

44:06

a teacher so long ago, like 150 years ago, who was like,

44:08

what's your back doing?

44:12

Where's your back? And it meant

44:14

so much to me. And I think about it every

44:17

time I'm on camera now. I'm like, where is

44:19

my back? Where's

44:21

my back? Because it

44:24

helps me mentally to feel like

44:26

a three dimensional person. In

44:29

front of an audience, in front of a kid,

44:31

wherever I am, I go, feel your back. I'm

44:33

like, okay, I'm real. Yeah.

44:36

I'm whole. Yeah. There's

44:38

a front, there's a back. We're a

44:40

being. Grounded. I don't

44:42

know if that, yeah, grounded. It's

44:44

like a breath where you just go, okay, we're

44:47

doing a job. Yes. We're doing

44:49

a job. Today we do a job. Then

44:52

we go home and we have an English muffin with

44:54

avocado on it. And it's so comforting. I

44:56

love that. Yeah. I

44:59

definitely relate to the snapping into it.

45:02

It does help that there's a live audience there

45:05

because then it does sort of

45:07

feel like a performance and just like, you're like,

45:09

that's fine. And I've been on camera enough over

45:11

the years that I'm like, it's fine.

45:13

We got it. And you're just

45:16

yourself, which is helpful. But

45:18

I remember when we started the show, I

45:21

was so scared to watch it at all. And

45:23

so I was kind of just like watching bits

45:25

and pieces and I still kind of watch bits

45:27

and pieces. And

45:29

I noticed that I was like

45:32

putting my chin way up because

45:34

I think I was scared of like not

45:37

having a jaw line or something. Like

45:39

I just have a very round face.

45:42

So I was sort of like self-conscious

45:44

about it. So I thought I was

45:46

helping myself by like putting my

45:48

chin way up and it looks crazy.

45:52

I'm still actively working on kind of

45:55

like put your chin down. Look

45:58

normal. And even like my hair. kind of bobbing

46:00

around, I had to like go look

46:03

at other people doing

46:06

monologues and stuff, because I'm like, is everybody's

46:08

head kind of doing that? And I'm like,

46:10

okay, so are some people's heads are doing

46:12

that? Like even just those types of things,

46:15

because you're, you know, I'm

46:17

reading a teleprompter, so I'm not thinking

46:20

about how I

46:22

look as much, or like what my movements are,

46:24

because stand up, it's so, by the time you

46:26

film a special, it's so deep

46:28

in your bones that you could

46:30

go on autopilot and just float above your body and

46:32

watch your own show. But this

46:35

is like so different every night, and I'm

46:37

sort of trying to remember from rehearsal and

46:39

from read through like what the beats of

46:41

this was, but I've only said it three

46:43

times. So

46:45

it's completely different, and so to have

46:48

just a few things in my

46:50

head to remember, like okay, keep your chin down, don't

46:53

swivel your head like crazy, don't

46:56

lean on the podium too much. Like I was

46:58

also like doing a thing where my shoulders were

47:00

like up by my ears, like stuff

47:03

you wouldn't know unless you watched it, but

47:05

then watching yourself as a nightmare and you

47:07

just have to get over it. Like I've

47:09

learned that the first time I watch myself,

47:11

I'm gonna be like, that

47:13

looks horrendous, and

47:16

the next day I'll be like, you look

47:18

fine. Yeah, it's totally fine. Yeah, it's like,

47:21

again, that's like exposure therapy too, just

47:23

like being forced to watch yourself is

47:26

a torturer. It is a torturer,

47:28

and you are so judgmental about

47:31

yourself, and we used to sit,

47:33

early days when I worked at the Daily Show,

47:36

we would sit in the edit bay the whole

47:38

time that our stuff was getting edited and watch

47:40

every single take, every single take.

47:42

I did it on purpose, I don't think

47:44

it was like required, I just did it,

47:46

and it was the most, it

47:48

was so chilling, but

47:51

I did get to know my tricks and

47:55

like the tricks that I was

47:58

trying that don't work, like those

48:00

little, idiosyncrasies just kind of

48:02

like worked them out of

48:04

the system a bit but it is exposure

48:06

it's like I've what I'm so think of

48:08

as you said that my my

48:11

mother in-law who is Bev who

48:13

is definitely listening to this and I

48:15

love her does whenever

48:19

a family picture when everyone's like let's take

48:21

a picture I have to show you because

48:23

we're looking at each other the listening

48:25

audience can't hear this but she

48:28

does every time if you're like

48:30

Bev let's take a picture she

48:32

goes like this and like fully

48:35

turtles her neck like her tortoise

48:38

her neck goes into her shell

48:40

and double chin double triple chins

48:43

and her chin goes all the way back and

48:46

she has no idea and we're like don't like

48:50

don't just don't do anything don't

48:52

do anything with your neck and she's like

48:54

I'm not it's just moving

48:57

into so

49:00

we all do that stuff yeah

49:02

and so many people don't have

49:05

to think about it they

49:07

don't have to constantly like my best

49:09

friend when she got

49:11

into law school like deleted

49:13

her social media and was

49:15

like I don't really need this

49:17

anymore like I used it a lot in college and

49:21

like you know had fun but I don't need to

49:23

do this I'm tired of taking pictures and

49:25

she's just free healthy

49:28

yeah she takes her and

49:30

that's what it's crazy

49:32

she's the only one who looks at

49:35

them and her friends

49:38

genuine memories what

49:42

I don't even know what that means

49:44

neither do I dare I'm

49:47

so jealous I'm gonna go

49:49

to law school I want to go to law school I'm

49:51

not equipped I'm not

49:53

gonna pass do

49:56

you think that like I would I also

49:59

love about after midnight is that I feel like

50:01

it's just such a, like

50:04

what a treat that it

50:06

platforms comedians. Like that

50:08

must be a huge factor for you. You

50:11

must be working with your friends, people you

50:13

know, people you've gone out with. Yeah,

50:16

we shot with Kelsey Cook, Brian Simpson and

50:18

Blair Socky. And those are people I've known

50:20

for years. And like Brian and I started

50:22

together in San Diego and Kelsey and I

50:24

used to do a podcast together for years.

50:27

And like, I was looking forward to that

50:29

show for weeks. And there are so

50:31

many shows like that, especially now that

50:33

we're getting some repeat guests on. Right.

50:36

Where you have, you know, some

50:38

established chemistry with them and between

50:40

the three panelists, like it

50:43

is, and now people can go watch the show and

50:45

like sort of know what to expect and know that

50:47

it's weird and goofy and silly. So

50:50

they have some context before going in. I

50:53

mean, it's so fun. And

50:56

it's so rare that standups

50:58

get a chance to improvise and play

51:00

around with each other. Yeah. I

51:03

mean, I've laughed so hard on

51:05

this show, like harder than

51:08

I have in years on this

51:10

show and some of the

51:12

bits that these people have done. And

51:15

it really is like such

51:17

a gift. And it is another

51:20

reason I was so excited to do it

51:22

is when you're on tour on your own,

51:25

sort of your own planet, like you just

51:27

don't see other comedians very much. Right.

51:30

And so it's, yeah, it's a joy.

51:33

It really is. I

51:35

felt like when at midnight went

51:37

away, it was a loss. It

51:39

was a loss to the comedy community. It really

51:41

was. It really was. So it's like, it's awesome

51:43

to bring it back. And it feels like it

51:45

was refreshed

51:47

and is right for right now. Do

51:50

you feel? Yeah, I think so.

51:53

TikTok wasn't a thing back then. Yeah.

51:55

So much of our show is videos

51:58

from TikTok. I think

52:00

the old show was pretty

52:02

Twitter heavy and

52:05

there just weren't the same social

52:08

media platforms that were

52:10

popular. I mean, Vine is gone

52:12

now, like, and it's

52:14

twice as long, like we're doing an hour long

52:16

show as opposed to half an hour. And

52:19

obviously, you know, we probably

52:22

have more restrictions,

52:24

I would guess, around like language, et

52:26

cetera, because it's CBS as opposed to

52:28

Comedy Central. I've been

52:30

surprised at what they let us get

52:32

away with, honestly. That's nice. Do you

52:35

have a crazy SMP notes? Our SMP

52:37

notes were so crazy at Full Frontal.

52:39

They were like, no. They

52:42

were like, the moment where you

52:44

show the elephants, vagina giving birth,

52:46

we can't show the baby elephant

52:49

crowning. That's not, that

52:51

violates our standards and practices.

52:55

It's the one I always think of.

52:57

That's planet earth. That's earth. That's joy.

52:59

That's nature. That's- That's a

53:01

miracle of life. I know. We're just

53:04

watching miracles happen. And

53:06

you're denying people. Yeah,

53:09

I can't think of any notes that

53:11

we got that I was like, really?

53:14

But I know that there were times that I was

53:16

surprised. I think we kept it. We might've, we probably

53:18

bleeped it. Maybe we didn't. I know at one point

53:20

there was a panel where

53:23

they essentially

53:25

started chanting the word taint. And

53:29

I thought, well, that's never going to get in.

53:31

And then it did. It did. It

53:34

did. Way to go, CBS. You

53:36

did it. I know. I

53:38

know. Who knew? Taints. Taints

53:40

all the way down. I love it. Taylor,

53:44

I have enjoyed our conversation so

53:47

thoroughly. And I

53:50

thank you for saying yes. And thank you

53:52

for like your work. And I feel like

53:54

it's like so exciting to watch you just

53:58

ascend. Oh

54:00

my gosh. This was so, so

54:03

lovely. I truly was looking forward

54:05

to it so much. I was thrilled. Me too. Yes.

54:13

Well, that was Taylor Todlinson.

54:15

And I had no choice but to look

54:17

up one thing. Taylor talked about the choice

54:19

to initially pitch a stand-up special to Netflix,

54:21

which got me thinking, what

54:24

was the very first Netflix

54:26

comedy special? Well, it was

54:28

his and sorry's 2013 buried

54:30

alive. Netflix was just six

54:33

years old. Thank you

54:35

for joining us. I'm Samantha B. See you

54:37

next week for some more choice words. Thank

54:53

you for listening to choice words, which was created

54:55

by and is hosted by me. The

54:57

show is produced by Spia Barrett-Reinstein

55:00

with editing and additional producing by

55:02

Josh Richmond. We are distributed by

55:04

Lemonata Media and you can find

55:06

me at ReelSamB on Instagram and

55:08

X. Follow choice words wherever you

55:10

get your podcasts or listen ad free on

55:13

Amazon Music with your Prime membership. Xmayo

55:19

is a comedian, writer, producer, and when

55:22

it comes to confidently managing her finances,

55:24

she's a beginner. Join her on The

55:26

Doe, Lemonata Media's new 10 episode podcast

55:28

series as she dives into better understanding

55:30

the financial trapdoors that any of us

55:32

could fall into. If you've ever

55:34

stayed in a bad relationship to avoid moving out

55:36

costs or found yourself swimming in debt, you're not

55:39

alone. Each week she'll be exploring all

55:41

types of financial flops and money myths that stand

55:43

in the way of our financial freedom. On this

55:45

show, cash is queen. We hardly know her, but

55:47

we're determined to be her friend. You

55:49

can listen to The Doe on Amazon Music or wherever

55:52

you get your podcasts. Hey

55:55

everyone, it's David Duchovny. Do you ever

55:57

feel like a failure? Trust me, I

55:59

get it. Hell, I've spent

56:01

my whole life almost feeling like

56:03

a failure. It's appropriate

56:06

though, because on Fail Better, my new

56:08

podcast with Lemonado Media, exploring

56:10

the world of failure, how it holds

56:12

us back, propels us forward, and

56:15

ultimately shapes our lives is the whole

56:17

point. Each week

56:19

I'll chat with artists, athletes, actors,

56:21

and experts about how

56:23

our perceived failures have actually been our

56:26

biggest catalysts for growth, revelation,

56:29

and even healing. Through

56:31

these conversations, I hope we can learn how

56:33

to embrace the opportunity of failure and

56:36

Fail Better together. Fail

56:38

Better is out now. You can listen ad-free

56:40

on Amazon Music or wherever you

56:43

get your podcasts.