Episode Transcript
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0:00
At Arizona State University, we offer a variety
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of programs online, designed and taught by renowned
0:04
faculty to empower your success. That's why 87%
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of ASU Online graduates stated they were promoted
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their degree. Visit asunline.asu.edu.
0:15
Ted, you know COVID was four years
0:17
ago at this point? That's
0:19
okay. That's fucked up. What a fucked
0:21
up way. That shouldn't be, that shouldn't be. It shouldn't be.
0:23
It also shouldn't be the first thing you say in the
0:25
first podcast of 2024. That's like
0:28
you're beckoning something, a new disease back
0:30
into the year. Well, no, I'm just saying
0:32
how long it's been. I feel like we
0:35
teleported through time. Like I feel like the 2020 to
0:37
what? 2020,
0:40
pretty much it was like 2020 happened and then it was like,
0:42
okay, we're in 2022 now. Yeah.
0:45
And now we're in 2024. Yeah. And
0:47
I'm done keeping score. And a little bit
0:49
of rhyming. And a little bit of rhyming,
0:52
a little bit of dining. A little bit
0:54
of griming. A little bit of man on
0:56
man 69ing. Ooh. Ted,
0:59
you know what a lot of people want to do
1:01
when they get to the new year, when that new
1:03
year rolls around? Thank you for the snaps. I appreciate
1:05
that. You're welcome because it's poetry. It's like a college
1:07
slam poetry session. That's exactly what I was implying with
1:09
that. Yeah, no, we're doing an open mic now. Keep
1:12
going, man. A lot of people say, a lot of
1:14
people say when the year rolls around, the new year
1:16
rolls around, they say, I want to stop
1:18
drinking. Dry January. Yeah. Are
1:21
you doing Dry January? Yes. Yes,
1:23
I am. No way. It
1:25
is going poorly. Audio
1:29
listeners love you to death first of the year. Should
1:31
I take a good old swig of
1:33
a bottle that's possibly water if he's
1:35
not lit? Nuh-uh. Oh,
1:38
it's Hennese. That's a nectar of the gods,
1:40
brother. That's some Benedictine. Woo-hoo-hoo. I
1:42
thought it was Hennese at first. That's not Hennese. This
1:45
is better than Hennese. What is that? Is
1:47
that a whiskey or something? It is literally
1:49
the nectar of the gods. Oh my god.
1:51
It's brewed by a bunch of monks in
1:53
the Alps. Oh. And that's all you
1:56
need to know. You're seeing the videos of the monks
1:58
who were getting kicked in the balls. Yeah,
2:00
no you ever seen the monk Ball
2:03
kicking why would God why would God make them
2:05
do that? Well, where do you think the nectar
2:07
comes from? Welcome
2:32
everyone to the first episode of the new
2:34
year of Chuckle sandwich. We're back We're weren't
2:36
stopping. We took a little bit of a
2:38
break, but we're back and slice
2:41
run it into the new year Sprinting
2:43
into the new year. We're getting we're
2:45
getting new splits how how
2:48
it's me this kid how Many
2:50
homeless people are you going to learn to their
2:52
deaths in 2024? Depends
2:55
on what your definition of luring is but I
2:57
mean if we're going to the classic slack Slap
3:00
function where you learn them to death with
3:02
a can of baked beans probably plenty probably
3:04
plenty Do you remember when you said that?
3:07
Yes, and you know who said that first?
3:10
Who mr. Sark? Oh, you
3:13
gotta be kidding me Inbox
3:17
dude, I heard it 20 times in my
3:19
ear every time I'd be working in the
3:22
freezer I could just repeat
3:24
half of that show by heart and
3:26
you know what? Well, I'm telling you didn't even admit
3:28
that that one was like that I've
3:30
spent the last like two years since that video has been
3:32
out thinking that that was just off the cuff No
3:38
Damn, what would you say the percentage of things
3:40
that you have said that are that are Sark
3:42
things? Have come out of
3:44
your mouth. What really put me at ease
3:46
was when he said it's just like, you
3:48
know, you're referencing a Favorite movie
3:50
or something, you know, cuz that's that's
3:53
kind of what it is to me Like I'm not a
3:55
movie guy. It is a good
3:58
a good point. And also we you essentially gone God
4:00
is blessing for the rest of time to
4:02
just you're probably going into the backlogs like
4:04
you got to pay someone to get some
4:06
transcripts and just start piecing through and highlighting
4:08
new things you can grab. Well
4:11
dude, depending
4:14
on how far you go back, you probably can't
4:16
say most of it these days. Yeah,
4:18
I will say I mean I think that maybe
4:20
there were even stuff that he said on the
4:22
pod that we didn't even include. So
4:25
you know, he's of a different
4:27
time. He's
4:31
of a different time but we love him. We
4:33
love him and it's also some of the things
4:35
they were funny. I mean they were funny. I mean
4:37
come on. Unequivocally. Unequivocally
4:40
funny. I'm actually drunk already.
4:43
Yeah, that's what I hope. That's what I hope. It's
4:45
crazy because this is 40%. It's
4:48
like the same level of alcohol as
4:50
whiskey. Yeah. I
4:53
feel like you're the kind of
4:55
person that would succumb so quickly
4:57
to a CIA interrogation because the
5:02
truth serum that they give you and
5:05
have you ever heard of this? The truth serum? No.
5:08
Look up some truth serum. See if it's real
5:10
but I'm pretty sure it's like it's a thing
5:12
and you do it on people and then it's
5:14
like the effects are similar to getting drunk. What
5:17
do we got here? Really? It's the
5:19
same for any range of psychoactive drugs
5:22
using effort to obtain information from subjects
5:24
who are unable to and willing to
5:26
private otherwise. Yeah, okay. So maybe not
5:28
totally reliable it seems like it
5:30
might be implying but
5:33
I feel like they don't even need
5:35
to like put a syringe in you. Like
5:37
they hand you a bottle of whatever this
5:39
is. Benedictine. Benedictine.
5:43
The nectar of the gods, some
5:45
of that monk serum as we like to
5:47
call it. Monk juice, a little
5:49
bit of cheeky little monk juice and you're going
5:51
to be giving all the
5:54
country secrets away. Oh,
5:56
a little bit of that? Yeah. Boom,
5:58
a little bit of bite. What did you
6:00
say is drinking your greatest vice? Would
6:03
you say? Oh surely. Yeah,
6:06
I don't think a day pass where I didn't drink Not
6:08
even this year Here's a question I have for you
6:11
actually Speaking of going into the new year and stuff
6:13
because I know one of your other vices and it's
6:15
and it's wag you Have
6:18
you you you talk very frequently about
6:20
this olive wag you oh you have
6:22
in your fridge? I
6:24
I the question the Tucker and I
6:26
have actually been wondering Well
6:28
hold on a question that Tucker and I
6:31
actually have question between each other is one
6:34
is That the same
6:36
wag you that you reference every time is the
6:39
same cut and have you ever actually put it
6:41
on This is a grill and made it because
6:43
I feel like you keep referencing it and it
6:45
sounds like you're talking about the same wag
6:48
you every time well, let me tell you
6:50
some Ted there is a Olive
6:53
a five ribeye. Oh We
6:56
know We know I
6:58
keep well you ask for the cut. I'm telling
7:00
you that's what the cut is It stays in
7:02
my freezer and it that's my
7:04
like it's like my carrot on a stick,
7:06
you know Minecraft You sit on a pig
7:08
with the saddle and you've dangled a little
7:10
carrot in front of it. Oh, I'm familiar
7:12
forward Yeah, just like walks for like that's
7:14
my that's my carrot. Who's
7:17
the who's the pig though? Who are
7:19
you leading? What's the name you're leading
7:21
yourself? So the notion of having a
7:25
Olive an eight ounce olive wag you ribeye
7:27
and you're in your bridges is Didn't
7:31
you say eight hours way more than eight? No Age
7:34
alive. I said Oh a five. That's
7:36
the marbling rating. Oh, how many hours
7:39
is it? How many
7:41
I don't know so big fucking ribeye. I
7:43
don't know could be okay could be 24
7:45
or something like that Well, wait, wait, but
7:48
the wag you is the foundation of all of
7:50
your motivation right now Like that's
7:53
what you through life. There's I'll say I'll say
7:55
like oh, you know, like if I do
7:57
really good work today Oh, maybe I'll I'll
8:00
get the cast iron out and
8:03
I'll heat it up and medium high heat. Or at the very least get
8:05
to look at it. Or just
8:07
look at it. Sometimes I'll just open up the freezer
8:09
and go, ah. I
8:12
like to imagine that it's just that in there. You open
8:14
up the freezer and it's just sitting in the middle there
8:16
and it's just laying there and
8:18
it's like there's an angelic glow like
8:20
when they open up a treasure chest
8:22
in a pirate mover or something like
8:25
that. It's like the new jelly fishing
8:27
rod in Spongebob where he just looks
8:29
over it like, oh, I'm going to get it. Ah.
8:31
Yeah, it's great. That is,
8:33
that's how I motivate myself.
8:35
Well, that's good. If I
8:37
didn't have that, I'd probably
8:40
completely succumb to the drinking problem. Yeah,
8:43
just end it all, right? But I
8:45
will, I didn't even think
8:47
about, I didn't even think about it,
8:49
dry January or anything like that. You
8:52
didn't, it didn't even cross your mind. Like it
8:54
wasn't even, the fact you, you scarred, you're scoffing
8:56
at the fact that other people are even trying
8:58
to do it. I'll
9:01
tell you one thing, I recently promoted
9:04
on my story, I don't know if you saw this but...
9:07
I saw it. I didn't see it. Miller
9:09
Lite did a sort of a
9:11
gimmick dry January product and I guess they're
9:13
doing a second dropout by the time this
9:15
episode comes out, it'll probably be sold out
9:17
again but it's these Miller Lite beer mints
9:19
and I remember when they hit me up
9:21
about it, I was like, that is the
9:23
funniest thing that I've ever heard and I...
9:26
Beer flavored mints? Yeah and
9:28
it's like, they're like not,
9:31
they're not bad. Like
9:33
they are actually good when you have them,
9:35
they're like kind of, it's weird
9:37
like how to explain the flavor because it's
9:40
not like you're just, it's not like a
9:42
wet beer flavor necessarily. It's like, it's kind
9:44
of like a, there's a little bit of
9:46
hoppiness and it's like there's a bit of
9:49
a cinnamony flavor to it and it's also
9:52
the mint flavor. But
9:56
it's... Now when you say it's
9:58
good, when you say it's good... Do you mean
10:00
it tastes like
10:02
beer in that it's good or that
10:04
it actually tastes good? Like
10:07
I can see where they're coming from where
10:09
it's having the notion of like
10:11
a beer flavor to it but like I don't think
10:13
that they would have gotten away with making it taste
10:15
like straight up like
10:18
barley, you know? So,
10:20
but I wouldn't have brought this up to
10:22
talk about if I didn't actually like it
10:25
because you know, like because it's a brand
10:27
thing that I was doing but like you
10:29
know, it's actually good. Actually,
10:31
I have like a tin. I
10:34
got a couple tins at my place too. I
10:37
remember what preceded this when I opened up
10:39
your story. You had sent
10:41
a snap to your close
10:43
friends saying,
10:46
guys, I just want to
10:48
let you know, I'm about
10:50
to do an ad for beer. Yeah,
10:52
so for context, I basically, I have
10:54
a close friend story on my Instagram
10:56
that is, I recently started using
10:59
my close friend story as kind of like
11:01
what my Instagram story used to be before
11:03
I had like 600,000 followers on Instagram. So
11:07
I've started like using that as like so I have
11:09
all the people that I personally know on my close
11:12
friends. So for the people because it
11:14
used to but my Instagram account, it used to be
11:16
just like my Instagram account when I was like in
11:18
high school and college and stuff. I
11:20
posted a story and I was like, guys, listen,
11:22
because I haven't done an Instagram ad since like
11:24
fucking I don't know, 2019 or something like that.
11:28
So I was like, guys, I'm doing an ad
11:30
just so you know, don't be alarmed.
11:33
I'm not, I'm not kidnapped
11:35
or something. I'm
11:37
glad that you saw that. And you're like, because it
11:39
was like, you know, because it's like if you've got
11:41
people from your hometowns and stuff that are watching your
11:43
Instagram stories, I don't want them to be like, what
11:45
the fuck is this? What's this guy
11:47
doing? I imagine the whiplash
11:50
of someone who you went to
11:52
high school with who hasn't really kept up
11:54
with you at all. And it's just randomly
11:56
seeing me doing the real life. Just opening
11:58
you up and you see in the fucking
12:00
beer mints and going is that Teddy Niv?
12:03
Like what the fuck is he doing a beer ad
12:05
for? That's funny that you called me Teddy Niv too
12:07
because when I was in high school or no not
12:10
even high school but when I was in elementary school
12:12
I used to go by Teddy when I was younger.
12:15
Teddy. I never went by Theo though but I'm
12:17
trying to bring that I'm trying to I'm
12:19
trying to add that to my repertoire sometimes I introduce
12:22
myself to people at the Theo. No
12:24
no you don't. No you
12:26
don't you don't do that. Excuse me?
12:30
Tucker's shaking his head too like there's probably. No
12:32
that was just. You're not
12:34
wrong. What do you mean? What do
12:37
you mean? What's wrong with you? Okay maybe
12:39
I'll start introducing myself as Theodore to people.
12:41
No no. That's my legal. That's
12:44
my legal. Even worse. That's my
12:46
god given name. Even worse.
12:48
I'm making a resolution for you okay.
12:50
It means an intervention now this episode
12:52
of the podcast just became an intervention
12:55
okay. Well we're gonna. How
12:57
does an intervention. We're
12:59
gonna resolve to not ever
13:02
introduce ourselves as Theo or
13:04
Theodore. Back up but pretend you guys
13:06
just walked in the room. I'll be like
13:08
what are you guys all doing here? It's
13:11
everyone. Tucker, Schlatt what are you guys doing?
13:13
Ted there's there's a lot of talk.
13:16
What do you mean? What do you what? There's a
13:19
lot of talk. What's going on? I don't know. It's
13:21
your family. It's hard. And also can
13:23
I just say Tucker can I also I actually prefer to go by Theo
13:25
now Tucker so maybe if you could tell me better. Alright let me stop
13:27
you right there. It's funny. Head.
13:33
This isn't an easy thing for us
13:35
to be talking about. What do you mean? You
13:38
don't like me. You don't like me. It kind
13:40
of rolls off the tongue well. We're
13:43
gonna be honest with you buddy. It's
13:46
hard. It's hard it really is but we do this because
13:48
we love you okay. You
13:50
know I thought if you guys love me you'd maybe
13:52
support my fucking ideas and I thought that maybe. It's
13:55
part of my it's my it's one of my names. Stop.
13:58
Stop. Stop. You're
14:00
offending people. You're done with
14:02
CO. Your mother called me. Lisa
14:05
calls me up. Lisa called you? She says you
14:07
have to talk to him. You
14:09
have to. She
14:12
said my Teddy. My Teddy.
14:16
He thinks he's named something else. He thinks
14:18
he's a CO, a Theodore.
14:21
When I think of the name CO, Ted, I
14:23
think of CO Joe, the YouTuber
14:25
who used to make fake technology
14:28
tutorials on YouTube. I
14:31
don't want that. Downloading more RAM. Well, I don't
14:33
want that. It's just not who I see when
14:35
I think of Ted. When
14:38
I think of Teddy, you know. Fine,
14:42
I'll go to therapy. Fine.
14:44
Maybe that, honestly. I'll
14:46
go to therapy. That might benefit you
14:48
a little bit. That might benefit
14:51
you. I will say one thing, actually. This
14:54
year I've been, because I've tried therapy
14:56
in the past. We're at it.
14:58
We're at it. We're at it. We're
15:01
at it. We're at it. I've
15:04
tried therapy in the past, but I've been trying
15:06
to do it a little bit more this year.
15:10
And I have a very interesting
15:12
story about my first experience with a
15:14
therapist, because I did it.
15:17
And I got matched with this
15:19
therapist. And I was
15:21
like not. This was like a
15:23
week ago. And I was like not feeling very
15:25
good. I was stressing over stuff. I
15:27
was not feeling emotionally at
15:30
my peak. Can I add just a
15:32
snippet for that? What? I
15:34
knew Ted was upset, because we were in
15:36
Florida and Ted texted me. He's like, hey
15:39
man, I miss you. Awwww.
15:43
Like it's Ted, but. Well, actually I
15:45
think, you know, honestly, I think. No,
15:48
I think when I texted you that it just was
15:50
just because I missed you. Because we
15:52
usually talk every day. So like, I hadn't.
15:54
And we hadn't spoken in like four days,
15:56
which was like. It's weird.
15:58
It felt like a lifetime. It did.
16:01
We have a different like time zone
16:03
image because I can go like two,
16:05
three weeks without talking to a
16:07
lot of my friends but like if Tucker and I
16:09
go like more than like three days, it's like what
16:12
the fuck? Where is he? Is he dead? Is he
16:14
dead? But yeah, no,
16:17
I get in this call with
16:19
this therapist guy and you
16:21
know, I don't
16:24
fully know how to talk about the
16:27
intro with a therapist. Like
16:29
I don't know what the, like how you initially
16:31
get to know each other but it basically... You
16:33
do a cold open. Yeah, yeah. You say hi,
16:36
I'm Theo. Theodore. But
16:40
basically, you know, the call starts and it's
16:42
a, through the internet so
16:44
it's just like on a voice call or
16:46
a video call and it's like things
16:49
already start off bad because the
16:51
guy, it's like shitty webcam and
16:53
his face is in the lower third of
16:55
the frame and I'm like, okay. Oh,
16:58
God. Okay. I already know from the get go,
17:00
we're gonna have a little bit less to relate
17:02
about than I probably thought of beforehand and he's
17:04
like an older guy and he doesn't seem like
17:06
he knows what's going on. He's like, hey, how's
17:08
it going? Ted? And I'm like, hey, hey, how's
17:10
it going? And I'm on this same setup right
17:12
here. I'm in this same room, microphone, camera and
17:14
all that and he's like, he's like, he's
17:18
like, so what do you, you got quite
17:22
the nice like setup there, you know? I'm like,
17:24
yeah, yeah, no, this is like my work setup
17:26
in my office and he's
17:28
like, he starts getting like a little shifty and weird and
17:30
he's like, so he's like, so what are
17:32
you looking for from this? And I'm like, you
17:36
know, like therapy, I guess, you
17:38
know, I'm not like, I'm
17:40
not feeling really good. Like I'm just
17:42
looking for therapy and I want to
17:44
talk about my feelings or whatever. And
17:48
then he's like, ask me some follow up
17:50
questions and go back and forth, but I
17:52
sense something weird. It seems like he doesn't
17:54
think that I'm serious about or like that
17:56
I didn't like prepare beforehand or something like
17:58
that. I was really confused. Do you think
18:00
you were gonna make a video? So hold on. I'm
18:02
like asking him back and forth and then he's like,
18:05
he's basically like, I don't wanna deal
18:08
with any of this. I think that you're gonna
18:10
have to find this somewhere else. So
18:14
have a good day. And I'm like asking
18:16
him for clarification. I'm like, well, what did
18:18
I, is it how I answered that
18:20
I want therapy? Like I'm sorry that I've never, I don't
18:22
really know how to talk about it. And he's like, refuse
18:26
this to elaborate. He's like, nope, have a
18:28
good day. Call
18:30
ends. I sit there, black mirror. I'm just
18:32
looking at myself in the black mirror of
18:35
my fucking computer screen and I'm feeling shitty
18:37
at the time. So I'm like, what
18:40
the fuck? What a terrible
18:42
way to start. It was like 10 a.m.
18:44
In the morning. I'm
18:47
like, man. That's
18:49
actually really lame. So I think and Tucker,
18:51
you were onto it at this point. I
18:53
think the guy was like technology phobic
18:56
or something because he was like weirded
18:58
out by the fact that I had like a nice camera
19:00
and a nice microphone. So I think he thought it was
19:02
like a set up. And I was like, like
19:06
I was getting, I was getting clocked
19:08
for having too nice of a set
19:10
up because this guy probably didn't know
19:12
that anything beyond his fucking face time
19:14
with his head peeking out from the
19:16
lower end of the fucking thing frame
19:18
work. It was the weirdest, weirdest thing
19:20
ever. I got like matched with like
19:22
a new therapist and he's been like,
19:24
he's been good so far. I've like,
19:27
I've got, you know, but
19:29
that guy, it was like weird. It was probably the
19:31
weirdest therapy, like
19:33
just general healthcare kind of thing
19:35
that I've ever had. That's
19:38
got to be the worst first impression to
19:40
therapy ever. Yeah. Well, I've
19:42
done it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
19:45
I'm glad it wasn't like my, my, my like very
19:48
first like impression of it. But like if I was
19:50
someone who was trying to get into therapy and I
19:52
came in there, I would have been like, I would
19:55
have been like, oh, so this is all I wanted to do. It's all
19:57
a fucking scam. Yeah. I'm paying how much
19:59
for? I wish for this and
20:01
the guys just like decides that he doesn't want
20:03
he's like he's like nope. I'm fine. Bye Dude
20:08
I'm struggling right now. I
20:11
scheduled this with you. Oh
20:15
Yeah, awesome. Yeah, no look dude
20:18
man like you can talk to me whenever
20:20
I'm here Yeah, I'm gonna have I'm gonna give that
20:22
a hard pass I'm gonna give that a hard
20:24
pass cuz you know what you're gonna say What
20:27
in a genuine way I know that you but
20:29
I'll tell you I'll tell you what I told
20:31
you what Schlatt would say So I was gonna
20:33
be like nah, man drink you drink Gotta
20:36
grab that bottle me You
20:40
know you feeling nervous there's a quick way to
20:42
stop that there's a really quick way
20:44
I mean like one one sip or two in and
20:46
then all of a sudden every time I'm feeling sad
20:48
I like to go to I like to go to
20:50
what I call Schlatt land I Can
20:53
I get there I get there with
20:55
my magic wand holds up a bottle
20:57
of fucking cognac my secret elixir Like
21:01
you're a wizard I I'm
21:04
gonna be honest with you my The
21:07
most useful thing my
21:10
therapist a couple
21:12
years ago ever did for me was
21:16
Tell me a quote by Theodore Roosevelt.
21:19
Oh, so he gets to get called Theodore, huh? He gets
21:21
to rock with that Well, you don't
21:23
think I can speak softly Thank you.
21:25
I didn't do that when you're a fucking president
21:27
people can call you whatever they want my middle
21:29
name Kennedy It
21:32
is yes, that's just cuz your
21:34
dad's got a hell of an ego No
21:38
No You think
21:40
my dad was like got out of the womb was
21:42
like I think I'm gonna have my middle name be
21:44
Kennedy Like it's not like he gave to himself You're
21:48
talking about my grandma name over to you.
21:50
Yeah, I If I
21:52
said my first and last name, I would
21:55
be Ted Kennedy Ted Kennedy.
21:57
Yeah. Yeah So
22:00
maybe think twice about my
22:02
presidential, you know, maybe on the 2036 ballot,
22:04
you might be
22:07
seeing someone real familiar, real
22:09
familiar. And he's going to have
22:11
some crazy policies, including leading old
22:13
people away with baked beans. That's
22:16
going to be my solution to homeless problem. I'm
22:18
going to say, we got to get some Heinz in there. We
22:23
got to get some smoked, some
22:25
of the nice stuff, some of that. Not
22:28
the signature select bullshit, like not even Heinz
22:31
actually. We got to get that kind of
22:33
shit that looks like it was made in
22:35
a fucking back corner smoky
22:37
room in it. You
22:40
know, fucking. Just by two
22:42
monks. Just by two monks in the mountains.
22:44
Two monks in the mountains of Texas. Yeah.
22:47
Two monks in the mountains. Only they know the recipe
22:49
too, and they worship God while they're doing it. I
22:52
got to say, Ted Kennedy, extremely
22:55
strong name. Right?
22:59
I mean, dude, if you were, if
23:01
I didn't have a long time that nobody knows
23:03
how to pronounce, you know, I'd be, I'd be
23:05
rocking pretty well. Oh, dude, that's
23:07
Ted Kennedy. Yeah. Fuck that
23:10
rolls off the tongue. Can you imagine
23:12
Tucker is like having a moment here.
23:15
Fucking Ted Kennedy. But you're not.
23:18
I'm not. You're right. Oh,
23:20
what was the, what was the quote though, before we
23:22
move on? Oh, the man in the arena. It's
23:25
a very long quote that he gave during
23:27
a speech. It's basically to
23:30
the extent of why do you
23:32
care what other people say and think
23:35
when they're not the ones who can do
23:37
what you do. They're not the
23:39
ones who toil greatly
23:41
and see great failure and great
23:43
success. You know, that kind of stuff.
23:45
I like that. And that's a word that we don't use very often
23:47
anymore that I think we ought to bring back. Toiling.
23:51
You knew exactly what I was talking about too. You didn't,
23:53
like that was, that was a long sentence and you knew exactly
23:55
what part of the sentence I was talking about. Yeah.
23:58
How about this? about this. Where
24:01
is the full quote? Ah,
24:04
here we go. Love this thing. Love
24:06
this thing. And think about like
24:08
a Theodore saying it with like funny
24:10
circular glasses and a big stick. Uh-huh.
24:14
Dude, that's me. You're talking about me right
24:16
now. I've got funny circular glasses. You're talking
24:18
about me right now. Dead, it is not
24:21
the critic who counts, not
24:23
the man who points out how the strong
24:25
man stumbles or where the
24:27
doer of deeds could have done them
24:29
better. Okay. The credit belongs to the
24:32
man who is actually in the arena.
24:34
Who space is marred by dust and
24:36
sweat and blood. Who strives valiantly. Who
24:39
errs? Who comes short again and again
24:41
because there is no effort without error
24:43
and shortcoming. But who what?
24:46
You said who came short. I said
24:49
premature ejaculation. But who does actually strive
24:51
to do the deeds? Who
24:53
knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions
24:55
who spends himself in a worthy
24:57
cause. Who at the best knows
24:59
in the end the triumph of
25:01
high achievement. And who at the
25:03
worst if he fails, at least
25:05
fails while daring greatly. So that
25:07
his place shall never be with
25:10
those cold and timid souls. Never.
25:12
Who neither know victory nor
25:14
defeat. Cold and timid
25:16
souls. That's a hard line right
25:18
there. That's hard. And you know
25:20
what? I think of that and
25:22
I just see, oh, that's Twitter.
25:24
Well, that's the YouTube comment section.
25:26
Well, that's anybody who throws
25:29
those fucking stones. So you know, I got to do.
25:31
I got to get on. I got to get on
25:33
cameo and I got to get one year
25:36
for Tucker's birthday. I
25:38
got him some
25:40
cameo from Jeff Steinser. I think he's
25:42
the voice of the from
25:44
Halo, like overkill. Oh, yeah. That voice. And
25:46
I had him say some like lines from
25:49
our friend group. I got
25:51
to get him to say to read that
25:53
off and make my alarm in the morning.
25:55
I'd be like, that'd be crazy.
25:57
I'd be waking up and get a little and it
25:59
gets so. fucking Halo music under
26:01
it too. That would be
26:03
that go hard. That
26:05
quote goes so unbelievably hard it's
26:08
crazy. I came
26:10
back from that therapy session and I printed
26:12
it out and I stuck it right above
26:14
my monitor and it stayed there
26:17
until I upgraded
26:19
to a carved wooden plaque of it.
26:21
Dude that's fucking nice. I like that.
26:23
I like that. What was that quote?
26:25
I'm just looking up for myself. Just
26:28
search up demand in the arena. Just
26:30
to have. I'm gonna visit Tucker Dixheim.
26:32
It's gonna be like different plaques. It's
26:34
gonna all look at his bathroom. It's
26:37
gonna be like marble. Marble on the floor with it
26:39
etched in like a fucking. Yeah I found this quote
26:41
I just really felt it. Dude
26:44
can I say something? If you do cameo, can you
26:48
please do it as Ted Kennedy? Like
26:51
impersonating Ted Kennedy or just like having my
26:54
name. No I don't even
26:56
know who Ted Kennedy. I don't know. Was that
26:58
a real person? Yeah no it was like a
27:00
politician like like the brother of John F. Kennedy
27:02
I think. Yeah no the whole Kennedy family is
27:04
like whole Kennedy family
27:07
is a bunch of politicians. It was
27:09
actually a Kennedy running for governor in
27:11
Massachusetts semi-recently. Robert I think. There's one
27:13
running for president right now. Yeah
27:16
I think it's Robert Kennedy. Robert. I don't think that
27:18
that one. I don't know if that one's related. Is
27:20
he related to the Kennedys? I'm
27:22
thinking of a different Kennedy. I think look
27:24
up look up look up Kennedy election Massachusetts
27:27
and uh and
27:30
it should be a different guy. I'm
27:33
just saying man I hear Ted Kennedy and
27:36
that's that's just one of
27:38
the strongest like stalwart names
27:40
I've ever heard you know like that's
27:42
a that's a name you see on
27:44
Snapchat on the discover section and
27:46
you're like fuck that's
27:49
a really strong name you know.
27:51
Are you related to the Kennedys? I'm gonna
27:53
go on Snapchat Ted. Okay. I'm on snap.
27:56
I'm on snap. Okay. I'm on Snapchat Jay
27:58
Schlatt which is blowing up. over
28:00
the past couple days. I'm gonna scroll to
28:02
my Discover section and I'm gonna read out,
28:04
I'm gonna just scroll through all the people
28:07
who are promoted on this app and read
28:09
out some of the names I see and
28:11
you will agree with me, wow they are.
28:13
Are you trying to get me on
28:15
Snapchat? Is that what the angler? I'm just
28:17
saying if you joined as Ted Kennedy you
28:20
would be among the rank of, and I'm
28:22
just I'm just scrolling right now, Gavin
28:25
Magnus Jenny
28:29
Sinatra These,
28:31
oh these are the, man he
28:33
looks crazy Joe Shulk You
28:37
don't think Ted Nivinson has enough oomph
28:40
to it? I gotta have like a
28:42
guy rim last name like Magnus Ted
28:44
Kennedy dude, Nick Hoox,
28:48
H-O-O-X are you kidding me?
28:50
That's awesome that's fucking
28:53
awesome. Bryce Boose
28:57
That's a little silly, come on
28:59
B-U-S-E That sounds like he's, that
29:01
sounds like he's like that sounds
29:03
something like inappropriate like like Rice
29:06
Boose Like Bryce Boose Bryce
29:09
Boose Oh he's, he's a cutie
29:12
How about this, how about this, got that ticker Carter Carter
29:15
Ketch Some
29:18
of these names it's just like fuck like
29:20
it just rolls off the tongue It sounds
29:22
like something that happens to your your asshole
29:24
or something when something goes wrong like oh
29:26
I got a kench right now I
29:28
got a nasty kench right now I mean it
29:30
just feels like some of these people were born
29:32
for it You look like he's having
29:35
a kench in that photo Just feels
29:37
like some of these people were born
29:39
for it you know like you'll see
29:41
a name you're like what what what
29:43
what's what's a girl doing being named
29:45
Regan Regan or Regan Regan
29:48
whatever that's gotta be an influencer
29:50
right there Yeah They wouldn't name
29:52
a girl, they wouldn't name anyone
29:54
Regan unless they were they were
29:57
growing her in a test tube They're
30:00
on her and they test you trying to, trying to,
30:03
trying to gross your mess, your arms on her
30:05
or something. Post your, Reagan, did you post your
30:07
stories today? Yes! Good,
30:09
good. Oh, they're grown to
30:11
be an influencer. Yeah. Yeah,
30:14
Reagan is like, that's a rich kid name though. Yeah.
30:17
You know what I mean? Definitely. Definitely. What are other
30:19
rich kid names? Okay, so there's like ones that are
30:21
like, okay, that's old money, like, like, like,
30:23
I don't know, fucking Bartholomewal
30:26
or something like that. But
30:28
you know, there's like the,
30:30
the new age. What? James.
30:33
No, that's a working man's name. What
30:35
are you talking about? James? James.
30:38
It's like one of, that's like one of,
30:41
James, J-A-M-E-S you're saying is a, is
30:43
a, is a rich kid name. That's
30:46
like one of the most common names in the world.
30:48
And you're saying that all those people are fucking rolling
30:50
in it. Yeah.
30:53
Something like Henry feels rich
30:55
to me because there's been
30:58
so many Kings. Yeah.
31:00
Oh, I, okay. Well, I can't say yes to that
31:03
and then say no to Tucker saying James though, based
31:05
on the King line. But there's
31:07
so many shitty James's, you know, like
31:09
you listening to this right now. Fucking
31:12
do it. We're watching you, James. Fucking.
31:15
We're watching you. James, how
31:17
dare you come to this place? James.
31:19
This is a working man's podcast, James.
31:21
With your fucking AirPods in, fuck you.
31:23
AirPods. Oh no, no. AirPod Max is,
31:25
he's wearing AirPod Max's right now. Max
31:27
is a force. What a fucking loser.
31:29
Wow. I know, I know,
31:31
I know Reagan's posting about her AirPod
31:34
Max gym workout. Cause she wears fucking
31:36
thousand dollar, heaviest fuck headphones at the
31:38
gym. Walking around in your Lulu lemon.
31:41
And not waterproof. Yeah.
31:44
Idiot. Not waterproof. And
31:46
you're also not, you're doing
31:48
shit, not productive sets either on, in the end
31:50
with those weights. And you're not even putting the
31:53
weights back because you're like, oh, someone will do
31:55
it for me. No. Not even putting weights back.
31:57
You're supposed to put the weights, re-rack your weights,
31:59
Ray. Reagan Ray who put
32:01
the weights back Gavin Magnus. Yeah,
32:04
he's fucking kidding me Magnus
32:08
that can be his real name. He sounds
32:10
kind of like He
32:13
sounds like he looks like Timmy Turner
32:15
from the fairly odd parents if you
32:17
got if he got Dropped
32:20
in and you know, I'm sure he's a nice
32:22
kid But he looks like Timmy Turner if you
32:24
got dropped in like that's just that the Joker
32:26
fell in in the comics definitely not a nice
32:28
kid I Just
32:30
in case just in case he's listening You
32:40
couldn't even keep that in he had to
32:42
be like no, no this guy's an asshole,
32:44
okay Okay, I'm convinced
32:46
no no. No. Yeah. Sorry Gavin.
32:48
Sorry Gavin. Gavin looks like he's
32:50
he has a song You know
32:52
Gavin's a rich name Is
32:55
it? Yeah, and
32:57
I feel like it's some southern bullshit Oh,
33:00
I thought it was more like English
33:02
Gavin like Mick Mick
33:05
Graw That's
33:07
a singer. That's a singer of Gavin
33:09
McGraw. Is it? Yeah, really? Yeah, it
33:11
is Gavin McGraw. That's fucking crazy I
33:14
think it's cuz you know the artist is why he came
33:17
Yeah, Gavin Gavin. He is
33:20
did Graw. I guess and I think you should
33:22
Not Okay,
33:25
just cuz he has a boiler cap on doesn't
33:27
mean he's like fucking Or
33:29
that's not a boiler cover a fight whatever a newsies cap
33:31
or whatever. Oh Geez
33:35
Ted, I'm saying you were blessed with
33:37
the opportunity of one of the strongest
33:39
names ever But it would be
33:41
fake heavy real it wouldn't be real. It's
33:44
no cuz it's a first doc I'm not
33:46
like what yeah, but then I'm skipping out
33:48
on the last name I will say that
33:50
if I throw on the junior on there,
33:52
it makes everything cuz I'm a junior too
33:54
You know that had Kennedy jr. Yes Yeah,
33:59
yeah Why not? Okay, but why
34:01
can't- Hey Kennedy Jr. Get
34:04
the fuck out of here! Why can't Theodore
34:06
Kennedy Nivison Jr. work as the presidential
34:08
name? This seems like you kind of
34:10
have it out for my last name
34:12
specifically. I'm just saying man, I'm just
34:14
saying, like, I am
34:17
either really lucky that I made
34:19
it big calling myself Schlatt
34:21
because- Because they're in
34:23
gaming. The ugliest fucking name of all
34:26
time. Alright? Yeah,
34:28
but then it's so meme-able. I've been calling you-
34:30
I know. And
34:33
I'll tell you one thing. I've been calling you Schlag
34:35
since like 2018. That's true.
34:38
We didn't know each other then.
34:42
Since 2019. Had no idea who you were then. Since
34:44
2019. That's fair. No, we've known each other since
34:46
2018. Late 2018. Really?
34:50
Mm-hmm. Yeah. No. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
34:53
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No,
34:56
definitely not. Are
34:58
you sure? I get- You know what?
35:01
Yeah. You're right. Sorry. You're
35:04
right. 2019. 2019. Okay. I
35:06
yield. I yield. Yeah. Um.
35:10
Oh, jeez. Yeah. But back of
35:12
a podcast now, I mean, jeez. Look at us.
35:14
Look at us. Look at us. Ted,
35:17
what's your resolution going- I was actually- I was
35:19
gonna ask you the same question. That's crazy. We're
35:21
synced up right now. We're on a fucking podcast
35:23
right now. We're two white dudes on a podcast.
35:25
Two white dudes on a podcast? Dude, there's another
35:27
white dude. He's also a white dude. Yeah. He's
35:29
the whitest of all time. That's right, baby. Can't
35:31
help it. He's a cute little cherub though. I'll
35:33
tell you what my resolution is. I've actually got
35:35
them all- I'll tell you one thing. I've got
35:38
them all written on the wall and they're just-
35:40
I think- okay. In a very real
35:42
way- You're a white board. My- my-
35:45
one of my big ones is
35:47
to, um, invest
35:50
more in my friendships. Hey.
35:53
Oh. Yeah. Well- And what you're gonna
35:55
say, invest in the S&P. Tucker- 100. Yeah,
35:58
that though- I thought he was gonna- That would have been a- a good
36:00
one. Well, I actually do
36:02
recently started having investments. I got a
36:04
financial advisor which is good but
36:07
like my
36:09
online friends, I feel like I'm pretty well connected to
36:11
like you know like and Tucker you know, I talk
36:13
to you all the time but my people in person
36:15
like I feel like I never get out of my
36:18
apartment or at least the last year I felt like
36:20
I didn't. So this year, I'm
36:22
trying to get out more and do more things and
36:24
like get up to more
36:26
activities because I like shut myself away for like a
36:28
week and there's so much to do
36:30
in this city that I live in and I'm
36:32
like what the fuck am I doing? Yeah, yeah.
36:34
So I'm looking for enrichment. I'm looking to enrich
36:36
my life a little bit more. Maybe travel a
36:38
little bit, travel just for fun. No.
36:41
Yeah. Yeah,
36:44
maybe go to Spain, meet
36:47
some hot Spanish chicks, go
36:49
to Ibiza. Nah, dude, they all have lips.
36:51
Do some Molly, I don't know. Maybe
36:55
I'm gonna do Molly this year. What do you
36:57
think of that? They're all dirty up there. Don't
36:59
do Molly. Why not? Why can't
37:01
I? It's 2024. Go to liquor
37:03
store, get a bottle of Benedictine and shut
37:05
up. Drop some Molly into Benedictine. Now with
37:07
the nectar of the gods because you will
37:09
be feeling like you're in heaven. Okay,
37:13
that's that's. That went hard.
37:16
Okay, so thank you. Thank you. Thank
37:18
you. It's interesting that you're drawing the line at Molly
37:21
though. I don't fuck with drugs,
37:23
okay. Alcohol is a drug.
37:26
There's only one drug Jesus touched
37:28
and created in the Bible, in
37:30
the Gospels, and that was water
37:32
to wine, aka alcohol, aka Benedictine
37:34
in my throat. Benedictine,
37:37
glug, glug, glug, I'm getting closer to
37:39
Jesus. Glug, glug, it's time. Yeah,
37:42
and you know what? That's why I stick to
37:44
that. And it's totally not because weed
37:47
is still illegal in Texas for whatever reason.
37:50
You could grow the fuck out of that over here. Yeah.
37:54
It is. It's legal in New York
37:56
City now I've noticed. I was in New York
37:58
City recently and I was walking. Not the
38:00
state of New York, I don't think. Oh,
38:02
it's L.O. Eagle in New York State. Wait,
38:04
I'm totally wrong. Way too dispensary with Tucker
38:06
in New York. But
38:10
I was a little bit confused because I was walking through New York
38:12
City and I was seeing the dispensaries and I was like, did this
38:14
happen? When did this happen? But
38:16
then also, I don't know, I'm confused on
38:19
what's been legal. Weed
38:21
is legal, but there's still gonna be
38:23
people who are scammed by those fucking
38:25
weed trucks that sell you CBD oil
38:27
with nothing in it. Wait,
38:30
weed trucks, what are these? Oh yeah, the weed trucks.
38:32
Like an ice cream truck, weed? Yeah,
38:34
they'll have a big marijuana leaf on it and
38:37
they'll just drive around New York City and be
38:39
like, yo, we're selling weed. And then everyone's like,
38:41
fuck yeah, dude. It's gotta be a tourist trap
38:43
thing. It's like some shitty little oil, yeah. It's
38:46
for all the Texans. Yeah,
38:48
for all the Texans visiting New York City where
38:50
they're like, I'm gonna get some weed out of
38:52
town. Wow, weed's legal here? Yeah,
38:55
they do the oil. They're like, dude,
38:57
I think I'm overdosing right now. Dude,
39:00
I think I'm way too high. I gotta,
39:02
everything's- I'm bringing it out, bro. I got
39:04
the spins, dude. I got the spins. That's
39:07
funny, dude. What's your
39:09
resolution though, Sean? Sean, what's your
39:11
resolution? So I have two for you. Okay.
39:15
The first one, take it at face value
39:17
or don't take it at face value. I'd
39:19
like to improve my relationship with the God.
39:22
Okay. The God. The God.
39:25
Mm-hmm. And second- The Almighty.
39:27
The Almighty. The
39:30
Holy Spirit, Jesus. And the second
39:32
one, which I do want you
39:34
to take at face value, I'd like
39:36
to only
39:38
start something new if
39:41
it's more so at the demand in the arena.
39:43
Tucker, just to have, just to have. I'm gonna
39:46
visit Tucker next time. It's gonna be like different
39:48
plaques. It's gonna be, it's gonna all get in
39:50
his bathroom. It's gonna be like marble, marble on
39:52
the floor with it etched in like a fucking-
39:54
Yeah, I found the quote. I just really felt
39:56
it. I'm like, dude, can I
39:59
say something? If you
40:01
do cameo, can you
40:03
please do it as Ted Kennedy? Like
40:06
impersonating Ted Kennedy or just like having my
40:08
name, my display name? I don't even know
40:10
who Ted Kennedy, I don't know, was that
40:12
a real person? Yeah, no, it was like
40:14
a politician, like the brother of John F.
40:16
Kennedy I think. Yeah, no, the whole Kennedy
40:18
family is like, whole
40:20
Kennedy family is a bunch of politicians.
40:23
It was actually a Kennedy running for
40:25
governor in Massachusetts semi-recently. Robert, I think?
40:27
There's one running for president right now.
40:30
Yeah, I think it's Robert Kennedy. Robert. I
40:33
don't think that that one's related. Is he related
40:35
to the Kennedys? I'm thinking
40:37
of different Kennedys. I think look
40:39
up Kennedy election Massachusetts and
40:45
it should be a different guy. I'm
40:48
just saying man, I hear Ted Kennedy
40:50
and that's just one of
40:52
the strongest like stalwart names
40:54
I've ever heard, you know? Like
40:57
that's a name you see on Snapchat
40:59
on the Discover section and you're
41:01
like fuck, that's a
41:03
really strong name, you know? Are
41:06
you related to the Kennedys? I'm gonna
41:08
go on Snapchat Ted. I'm
41:10
on Snap, I'm on Snap, I'm on Snapchat
41:12
Jay Schlatt which is blowing up over the
41:14
past couple of days. I'm gonna scroll
41:16
to my Discover section and I'm gonna read out,
41:18
I'm gonna just scroll through all the people who
41:20
are promoted on this app and read out some
41:22
of the names I see and you will agree
41:24
with me. Wow, they are.
41:27
Are you trying to get me on
41:29
Snapchat? Is this what the angler? I'm
41:31
just saying if you joined as Ted
41:33
Kennedy, you would be among the rank
41:36
of and I'm just scrolling right now.
41:38
Gavin Magnus, Jenny
41:43
Sinatra. These
41:46
are the, man he looks crazy.
41:49
Joe Shulk. You
41:52
don't think that Ted Nivinson has enough oomph to it? I
41:54
gotta have like a guy rim last name like Magnus. Ted
41:58
Kennedy, dude. Nick
42:01
hooks Who's oh,
42:03
oh acts are you kidding me? That's
42:05
awesome. That's fucking awesome
42:08
Bryce boost That's
42:12
a little silly come on be you
42:14
Se that sounds like he's that sounds
42:16
like he's like that sounds something like
42:18
inappropriate like like rice boost
42:21
like Bryce boost Bryce
42:23
boosts. Oh, he's right. He's a cutie. How
42:25
about this? How about this got that tick
42:28
harder? Carter kench
42:32
Some of these names. It's just like fuck
42:34
like it just rolls off the tongue It sounds
42:36
like something that happens to your your asshole
42:38
or something when something goes wrong like oh,
42:40
I got a kench right now I
42:43
got a nasty kench right now. I mean it
42:45
just In
42:47
that photo Just
42:50
like some of these people were born
42:52
for it, you know, like you'll see
42:54
a name you're like what what what
42:57
what? What's what's a girl doing being
42:59
named Regan? Regan or
43:01
Reagan Reagan, whatever that's got
43:03
to be an influencer right there.
43:05
Yeah, they wouldn't name a girl
43:07
They wouldn't name anyone Reagan unless
43:09
they were they were growing her
43:12
in a test tube They're
43:14
on her in a test you try to try to try to Try
43:17
to go to make your arms on her some
43:19
post your Reagan. Did you post your stories today?
43:22
Yes. Good. Good Oh,
43:25
they're growing to be an influencer. Yeah Yeah,
43:28
Reagan is like that's a rich kid name though. Yeah,
43:31
you know, I mean definitely that's what are other rich
43:33
kid names Okay, there's like ones that are like, okay,
43:35
that's old money I
43:38
don't know fucking Bartholomewal
43:40
or something like that. But you
43:43
know, there's like the the Game
43:45
new age what? James
43:47
no, that's a working man's name. What
43:49
are you talking about James? James
43:52
like one of That's like one
43:55
James J. A. M. E. S. You're
43:57
saying is a rich kid name That's
44:00
like one of the most common names in the world
44:02
and you're saying that all those people are fucking rolling
44:04
in it Yeah
44:08
Something like Henry feels rich
44:10
to me because there's been so
44:12
many kings Yeah, oh
44:15
I okay. Well, I can't say yes to that and
44:17
then say no to Tucker saying James though based on
44:19
the line But there's so
44:22
many shitty James's, you know, like you listen
44:24
to this right now Fucking
44:26
do we we're watching you James Watching
44:29
you James. How dare you
44:31
come to this place James? With
44:35
your fucking air pods in fuck you
44:38
air. Oh, no, no air pod maxis.
44:40
He's wearing air pod maxis right now
44:42
Max is a Wow. What a fucking
44:44
loser Well, I know I know I
44:46
know Reagan's posting about her air pod
44:49
max gym workout Yeah, because she wears
44:51
fucking thousand dollar heavy as fuck headphones
44:53
at the gym walking around totally not
44:55
comfortable and not waterproof Yeah,
44:58
not waterproofing and you are and
45:00
you're also not you're doing shit
45:02
is not productive sets either on
45:06
In with those not even doing and you're not even
45:08
putting the weights back because you're like, oh someone will
45:10
do it for me No, not even put
45:12
the weight. You rerack your weights Reagan
45:15
Ray who put the weights back Gavin
45:17
Magnus Fucking kidding
45:19
me. Yeah Magnus
45:22
that can be his real name. He
45:24
sounds kind of like He Sounds
45:28
like he looks like Timmy Turner from
45:30
the fairly odd parents if you got
45:32
if he got Dropped
45:34
in and you know I'm sure he's a nice
45:36
kid But he looks like Timmy Turner if you
45:38
got dropped in like that shit that the Joker
45:40
fell in in the comics definitely not a nice
45:42
kid Just
45:45
in case You You
45:54
couldn't even keep that in he had to be like
45:56
no now this guy's an asshole. I okay
46:00
Okay, I'm convinced. No, no, no.
46:02
Yeah. Sorry Gavin. Sorry Gavin. Gavin looks
46:04
like he's, he has a song, you
46:07
know? Gavin's a rich name. Is
46:10
it? Gavin I
46:12
feel like is some Southern bullshit. Well,
46:14
I thought it was more like English.
46:17
Gavin Mc, like
46:19
McGraw. That's
46:21
a singer. That's a singer, Gavin McGraw. Is
46:23
it? Really? Yeah, it is. Look up Gavin
46:25
McGraw. That's fucking crazy. I
46:28
think it's because you know the artist. Maybe.
46:32
Yeah, Gavin McGraw. De-graw,
46:34
I guess. De-graw. To
46:39
not, okay, just because he has a boiler cap
46:41
on doesn't mean he's like fucking, or
46:44
that's not a boiler cap or whatever, a newsies
46:46
cap or whatever. Oh,
46:48
geez. Ted, I'm saying
46:50
you were blessed with the opportunity of
46:52
one of the strongest names ever. But
46:55
it would be real. It wouldn't be
46:57
real. No, because it's a first document. I'm
46:59
not like one, yeah, but then I'm skipping
47:02
out on the last name. I will say
47:04
that if I throw in the junior on
47:06
there, it makes everything, because I'm a junior
47:08
too, you know that? Ted Kennedy Junior. Yeah.
47:11
Oh my god. Yeah, yeah.
47:14
Why not? But why can't, why can't-
47:17
Ted Kennedy Junior. Get the fuck out
47:19
of here. Why can't Theodore Kennedy Nivison Junior
47:21
work as a presidential name? This
47:24
seems like you kind of have it out for my last
47:26
name specifically. I'm just saying, man,
47:28
I'm just saying, like, I am,
47:31
I am even really lucky that
47:33
I made it big, calling myself
47:35
Schlatt, because they're
47:37
the ugliest fucking name of all
47:40
time, all right? Yeah,
47:42
but then it's so meme-able though, you know?
47:44
I know, I know. I've been calling you,
47:46
and I'll tell you one thing, I've been
47:48
calling you Schlag since like 2018. That's
47:52
true. And now you've got- We didn't know each
47:54
other then. Since
47:56
2019. Since 2019. Yeah,
47:59
that's fair. No, we we've known each
48:01
other since 2018 late 2018 Yeah,
48:04
really? Mm-hmm. Yeah No,
48:07
mmm. Yeah No,
48:11
definitely not Are you sure I get
48:14
you know what? Yeah, you're right. Sorry
48:17
You're right. 29th 29th. Okay, I yield yield. Yeah um,
48:22
oh Geez,
48:25
yeah, but back of a podcast now, I mean
48:27
cheese Geez, look
48:29
at us. Yes. Okay. What's your resolution? Don't
48:31
know. I was actually I was gonna ask
48:33
you the same question. That's crazy We're syncing
48:35
up right now. We're on a fucking podcast
48:37
right now. We're two white dudes on a
48:40
podcast You like this is another white dude.
48:42
He's also a white dude Can't
48:46
help it. He's a cute little cherub though. I'll tell
48:48
you what my resolution is I've actually got them all
48:51
I'll tell you one thing I've got them all written
48:53
on the wall and they're just I think
48:55
okay in a very real way white
48:57
board my my
48:59
one of my big ones is
49:01
to Invest
49:04
more in my friendships Hey
49:09
Yeah, well, you're gonna say invest in the
49:11
SMT Tucker hunter That's
49:13
what I thought he's gonna that would have been
49:15
a good one Well, I actually do recently started
49:17
having investments. I got a financial advisor, which is
49:19
good But
49:22
like it's hot like my
49:24
online friends I feel like I'm pretty well connected to like,
49:26
you know, like and Tucker you're you know I I talked
49:28
to you all the time But my people in person like
49:30
I feel like I never get out of my apartment or
49:32
at least last year I felt like I didn't so
49:35
this year I'm trying to get out more and do
49:37
more things and like Yeah, get
49:39
up to more activities because I like shut myself away
49:42
for like a week And there's so much
49:44
to do in the city that I live in and I'm like, what the
49:46
fuck am I doing? So
49:48
I'm looking for enrichment I'm looking to enrich
49:50
my life a little bit more maybe travel
49:52
a little bit traveled just for fun Yeah,
49:56
no, yeah, yeah, maybe
49:58
maybe maybe go to Spain
50:01
meet some hot Spanish chicks
50:03
go to Ibiza. No, dude, they all have
50:06
little some Molly. I don't know Maybe
50:09
I'm gonna do some go to Molly this year.
50:11
What do you think? Don't do
50:13
Molly. Why not? Why can't I it's 20
50:16
We're gonna get a bottle of Benedictine and
50:18
shut up drop some Molly in the Benedictine
50:20
now The nectar
50:22
of the gods because you will be feeling like
50:24
you're in heaven Okay,
50:28
that's that's that went hard
50:31
Thank you. Thank you. It's interesting that
50:33
you're drawing the line at Molly though. I don't
50:36
fuck with drugs. Okay Alcohol
50:39
is one there's only
50:41
one drug Jesus touched and created
50:43
in the Bible in the Gospels
50:45
And that was water to wine
50:47
aka alcohol aka Benedictine in my
50:49
throat But
50:52
if he glug glug glug I'm getting closer to the lug
50:54
it's time Yeah,
50:56
then you know what? That's why I stick to
50:58
that and it's totally not because Weed
51:01
is still illegal in Texas for whatever reason
51:05
You could grow the fuck out of that over
51:07
here. Yeah. Yeah, it is. It's it's legal
51:09
in New York City Now I've noticed I
51:11
was in New York City recently and I
51:13
was walking but not the state of New
51:15
York I don't think Oh in LA legal
51:18
in New York State. Wait, I'm totally wrong
51:20
very very with Tucker in New York But
51:25
I was a little bit confused I was like walking through New York
51:27
City I was seeing the dispensaries and I was like did this happen?
51:29
When did this happen? But then
51:31
also I don't know I'm confused on what's
51:33
gonna what's been legal on him Yeah, he
51:35
did legal but there's still gonna be people
51:37
who are scammed by those fucking weed trucks
51:40
That sell you like CBD oil with nothing
51:42
in it. See, you know, wait weed trucks
51:44
What are these? Oh, yeah, do we ice
51:46
cream for weed? Yeah,
51:49
they'll have a big like marijuana leaf on it
51:51
and they'll just drive around New York City and
51:53
be like, yo We're showing weed and then I
51:55
was like fuck. Yeah, dude Gotta
51:57
be a tourist trap thing. It's like shitty little oil.
51:59
Yeah Yeah, it's for all the Texans. Yeah.
52:02
Yeah for all the Texans visiting New York City where
52:04
they're like, I'm gonna get some weed Weeds
52:07
legal here Yeah, they
52:09
did they do the oil. There's like dude. I think
52:11
I'm I think I'm overdosing right now, dude I think
52:13
you're way too high Dude
52:19
I got their spins That's
52:21
funny. Dude. What's your what's your
52:23
resolution? No shot. What's
52:25
your resolution? So I have two for you
52:28
Okay, the first one take
52:30
it at face value or don't take it at
52:32
face value. I'd like to improve my relationship with
52:35
the God Okay, the God
52:37
the God Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm
52:40
and second Almighty the Almighty
52:43
the Holy Spirit Jesus and The
52:46
second one which I do want you
52:48
to take it face value. I'd like
52:51
to only
52:53
start something new if If
52:56
it's more so out of enjoyment
52:58
and fulfillment rather than Just
53:01
growth and money because I
53:04
got plenty of that That's
53:07
a that's a pretty good one I think that
53:09
that that's a good one for you because you
53:11
you have a tendency to you like starting projects
53:14
you Start shit. I'm a man
53:16
art you love starting projects, dude.
53:18
I I enjoy planning a vacation
53:20
out in like a Google spreadsheet
53:23
Just as much as I do actually being there
53:26
That is insane how different that is then
53:28
like the way my brain works cuz like
53:31
I am just not an itinerary guy Tucker
53:33
can attest to this when we go on
53:35
our road trips It's just drive and figure
53:37
out where we're staying two hours before we
53:39
figure it out sometimes sleeping in the car
53:42
Yeah, yeah, I mean dude. I I'm a
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