0:00

What makes an occasion special? Does

0:04

it have to involve a birthday,

0:06

anniversary, or promotion? Or

0:09

can it be that first juicy

0:11

bite of a perfectly cooked burger

0:14

shared over laughs with

0:16

good friends on a warm summer

0:18

night? Sounds pretty special

0:21

to us. Together

0:23

we bring more. Beef. It's

0:26

what's for dinner. Funded by

0:28

Beef Farmers and Ranchers. Ted,

0:31

another Christmas. Another day for old

0:33

Saint Nick to come down and

0:35

start giving shit to kids baby.

0:38

It is it is the time of giving

0:40

that is what they say. Remember when we

0:42

gave that guy that thing last year? Mm-hmm.

0:45

I do remember. I do remember.

0:47

Makes me so jolly just thinking about

0:49

it. Rimes with right boss

0:52

for us. Yeah, right cuz

0:54

it's white phosphorus. Forgot

0:57

the secret ingredient. That's the that's sort

0:59

of like the little magic ingredient kind

1:01

of like with Powerpuff Girls. It's like

1:03

sugar and spice and white phosphorus is

1:05

nice. You throw a little Tony's on

1:07

on whatever food you're cooking. What?

1:09

Hello? I remember what you did. I

1:12

know what you did. Ted? Do

1:21

I hear him? Do I hear he who it

1:23

should be? I'm going

1:25

to show you your own grave

1:27

and it's gonna make you sad

1:29

and change. I don't know what's going

1:31

on. I think I'm hearing who he who should be

1:34

shrapnel right now. Who should be

1:36

a million pieces? A million

1:38

pieces over the floor. Tommy, is that

1:40

you? Well now I'm now I'm just

1:42

one big piece and I'm here. I'm

1:45

here to fucking ruin your holly jolly

1:48

holiday because you don't deserve to be

1:50

on the nice list. Slap

1:53

or Ted? Charlie, how did you get here from

1:55

the nether realms? Dude, I was gonna ask how

1:58

have you guys been? Hell fucking blows. would

2:00

have thought. But I'm

2:03

here, I'm back, I kind of figured it

2:05

out, I thought about it a little bit and I

2:07

realized, I was thinking back to all of

2:09

those, all the beautiful memories that I had, well I

2:11

was still alive before you took that

2:13

away from me. Before we killed you, yeah. And

2:15

I was thinking of one of my favorite Christmas

2:17

movies, The

2:20

Tale of Scrooge, which I actually can't

2:22

remember the name of the actual movie.

2:25

A Christmas Carol? I was thinking about

2:27

The Tale of Scrooge. It

2:29

was visited by three specters and I

2:32

thought, oh, I started to

2:34

see a little holiday rift open up. I

2:36

started to see a little candy cane colored

2:38

rift open up in hell and I thought, wow,

2:41

I've got two little friends I think I want to

2:43

pay a visit this year. I think

2:45

I want to see if they've changed or if they're still

2:47

getting cold. So

2:49

I shimmied right through, like standing down

2:52

the chimney and... Here

2:54

I am. For 24 hours

2:56

and then it's back to hell. Well,

2:59

I mean, despite us being potentially punished

3:01

for our wrongdoings, I mean, flat, I'm,

3:04

you know. This kind of

3:06

feels like, I don't know about you, but it

3:08

kind of feels like... Don't

3:11

say it. Oh,

3:14

say it, say it. A Christmas miracle!

3:17

A Christmas miracle!

3:19

Woo! Yay! Welcome

3:21

to Chuckle Sandwich. It's the Christmas

3:24

special once again and we've got

3:26

Charlie. Here we go, baby! Hello

3:50

everyone, I'm the Sugarplum Danton

3:52

Interhect today. How's it going?

3:55

Oh, it's so weird. It's so surreal to be back.

3:57

I can't believe it's been a full year. Yeah, no,

3:59

I... I mean you

4:01

have a full calendar year. It's weird how

4:03

quickly that like we're Chuckle sandwiches coming on

4:06

what three years of existence Because

4:08

it'll be 2024 we start in 2021 It's

4:12

gonna gain consciousness soon. It's gonna have its

4:14

first word soon. Yeah, Chuckle sandwiches started to

4:17

start eating solid food It's getting pretty big

4:20

Nothing like a little Christmas treat to get you one I think Oh Little

4:25

eggnog like I actually have a little bit of

4:27

treat I have a little bit of a Christmas

4:30

Advent calendar Wow Linn

4:33

Advent calendar that yeah Eddie

4:35

the Teddy Advent calendar lint

4:37

lint chocolate Terrible name

4:39

to name it company lint that

4:42

is true This is my

4:44

thing I don't think I'm following it correctly because

4:46

I started on December 1st and Advent does not

4:49

start on December 1st But it's easier for me

4:51

because I just look at the date and then

4:53

I picked a number on it And I can't

4:55

even find number 14 That's

4:58

what I did when I was a kid we just chose the day

5:00

and then we just ate the chocolate in there 14

5:04

what was the point of an Advent calendar

5:06

does do any of us know

5:08

what the actual point like historically? Yeah,

5:10

historically. What was the purpose of that

5:13

for the Advent? Dude,

5:16

you know about the advent. Yeah

5:18

the advent of what? Jesus

5:21

I Didn't know

5:23

he was a robot. I didn't know he was invented I'm

5:26

gonna see what kind of flavor I got today. This

5:29

one looks good premium chocolate Wow excellent

5:32

Cheers, well welcome welcome on

5:34

at all to the Chuckle Chuckle sandwich Christmas

5:37

special. We're all here decked out in Christmas

5:39

We got shlant in Christmas colors We've got

5:41

Charlie looking like a looking like a Christmas

5:43

elf a cute little Christmas No, like a

5:45

little Christmas tree to get you in the

5:48

holiday spirit Yeah, and we

5:50

actually also have our special little

5:52

reindeer. I'm here a little cherub

5:54

reindeer Tucker I'm

5:59

here I'm dolled up. Oh my

6:01

god. You are looking like a doll

6:03

right now. Oh, smooth the mic, Doctor, smooth the mic. I

6:06

want to see how deep that thing goes. Oh, skin,

6:08

my god. Is it different? Is that a zipper? Oh,

6:11

it is. It's like it's doing all the way up

6:13

there, Tucky poo. Oh, it might come down. It might

6:15

come down. Head's going to have to

6:17

get dressed up. I did say that. It's only the 14th,

6:19

so every day it gets... Every day it gets a little

6:21

bit lower. Every day it gets a little bit lower. Yeah,

6:23

he's going to be hanging and it's going to be breezy

6:26

down there once we get to Christmas. Oh, yeah. Christmas is

6:28

the breeziest day of the year. Oh, there's going to

6:30

be an advent. There's going to be an advent of some

6:33

charges. Yeah. Someone's

6:35

going to be born inside me once that

6:37

zipper gets down all the way. And that's

6:39

what Santa gets arrested for every year, public masturbation.

6:42

Oh, like the Coney 2012 guy. Yeah, like the

6:44

Coney 2012 guy. I'll

6:47

come back to this fucking podcast talking about

6:49

Coney 2012. Charlie, the creator of Coney... You

6:51

remember Coney 2012? Yeah, creator of Coney 2012

6:54

Coney. No, no, no, no, no,

6:56

no. That was the antagonist. I don't even

6:59

think... Can I be honest? You didn't make

7:01

that video. It was the invisible people. I

7:03

don't think I remember what it actually was,

7:05

just that it was happening and then it

7:08

was like a big deal. I can answer

7:10

that question at length. Yeah. I would like

7:12

that. There's a guy named Joseph Coney. Wait,

7:15

hold on. Can I just say, can

7:17

you... Since it is the Christmas episode, can you

7:19

maybe format this as if it was a Christmas tale?

7:22

There's a man named

7:25

Joseph Coney. He

7:28

takes kids and makes them cronies. Okay,

7:33

that's all I got. Well, that's pretty good. Thanks. I

7:37

thought you were just going to

7:39

be like towards the night before

7:41

Coney. All through the house, not

7:43

a parent was stirring. Because they

7:46

were dead. Not a

7:48

child was stirring because they were

7:50

all child soldiers. Yeah, so

7:53

he was like kidnapping kids and making them child soldiers.

7:55

I think it was pretty fucked up. Was he real?

7:58

Was Coney real? Yeah, no, he was real. Really

8:00

wasn't real. It wasn't he wasn't a

8:02

myth. He might still be doing his

8:04

thing I mean, I don't fucking know

8:06

he never made an update. He got

8:08

jailed for public masturbation the guy Yeah,

8:11

Tucker. So we hear we know about the

8:13

guy who was talking about Tony went to

8:15

jail But it all sounds insane triggers Kony

8:17

in jail. I think Tony's in jail Tony's

8:21

in jail. Tony is hiding in the

8:23

Darfur region of Sudan. Oh As

8:26

of April 22, there's like a Santa tracker that

8:28

I used to watch as a kid Tony's

8:38

in Arizona right now That'd

8:43

be funny if they took the the Kony or

8:45

the Santa tracker and then it was just like

8:47

besides that they also just had Like a little

8:49

pop-up thing to be like check out where Kony

8:52

is right now Oh

8:57

my god, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

8:59

Well good stuff guys

9:04

Never gets old it feels like you never left

9:06

us, you know, but I did it

9:08

all the years ago made it happen Yeah, you

9:10

caused that you did that you did that

9:12

I did that how's the guilt? How's the guilt

9:15

been treating you? Like is it I you know,

9:17

I cry every now and then but I think

9:19

a little bit of tears is kind of you

9:21

know kind of embracing That

9:24

sensitive side of who you

9:26

are. I think that can be helpful sometimes.

9:28

Yeah Famously sensitive character flat

9:30

kind of sound like you're gonna Sounds

9:33

like you're gonna cry a little right now. No, no,

9:35

no, I'm not going to I don't know I'm

9:38

not going to I don't know. What if I kind

9:40

of like what if I really could use your presence

9:42

a little longer on This podcast. I don't know how

9:44

long I can keep doing it No,

9:49

don't cry don't cry I'll blow in your mouth I'm

9:53

not crying. What did we talk about flat?

9:55

No emotion? I'm not crying. We said I wouldn't

9:57

we said I would know emotion Podcast

10:00

has gotten a lot more taught you guys don't feel anymore

10:02

on here. You don't do any feeling no

10:04

We we've listened to fucking dumbasses in

10:07

our inbox these days Funny

10:10

to save their lives. I'll tell you what's going

10:12

on So I you know on several episodes less

10:14

start getting a little emotional and it was you

10:16

know It was messing with the flow so I

10:18

was like I took him do it I took

10:21

him to a place a special

10:23

place and they're there

10:25

to fix Boys like

10:27

him to not cry and

10:30

they end up to a ranch He took

10:32

him to a rain in the middle of nowhere It

10:34

was called good boy ranch and they

10:36

they took him in they played lots

10:38

of games with him He made meaningful

10:40

connections with other boys that maybe cry

10:43

a little bit too much Show a

10:45

little bit too much emotion and

10:47

now he's better now. He's healed Well, let

10:49

me tell you what we did that they didn't know every

10:51

every night when they sent us back to the

10:54

bunk We We

10:58

huddle up and and and you know, we we'd

11:00

cry together Okay,

11:02

cuz that's not it

11:04

wasn't cool. Why would you admit that to me to I gotta I

11:07

gotta send you back Sounds like

11:09

he's still still crying a little bit like even

11:11

thinking I'm not You

11:13

know, they got a warranty on that can't you know,

11:15

they just say you kids if you see a single

11:17

tear That's

11:19

what they said. They say right back to the way

11:21

come back here The

11:24

rhyming thing is good marketing I'm

11:27

not going back. Okay. I'm a big boy

11:30

now. Okay Stop.

11:32

Okay, you're big. You're big. I

11:34

am big. I've been big for three and

11:36

a half years I want to a ranch once

11:38

I got stepped on by a horse Really?

11:41

Yeah It

11:43

was it was like a diabetic horse a

11:45

diabetic like fat was like yeah It was

11:47

like the widest horse I've ever seen the

11:50

widest horse No, like a lot like

11:52

wide like sir conference the

11:54

girth of the horse Tremendous

11:58

it was a tremendously dirty horse and its name

12:00

was Arnold, and it went and hated

12:02

all the other horses, and it got out of breath

12:04

when it went up hills, and they put me on

12:06

this diabetic horse, but it didn't like me. How old

12:08

were you when this happened? I

12:11

don't know, I think I was like six or seven. I

12:13

just remember that like, I was so scared

12:15

of Arnold that I would hang onto the car door, when

12:17

my dad would try and like take me to horse camp,

12:20

and I'd be like holding onto the fucking car

12:22

door, like by the handle, and I'm like, I

12:24

don't wanna see Arnold even kept on me again!

12:26

Don't make me go with Arnold! You

12:28

see like you turn around and you

12:30

see Arnold staring at you from the

12:32

barn? Fuck Arnold, I actually hope he's

12:35

doing miserably. He's probably dead. He was

12:37

a bastard horse. I can tell you

12:39

about a tremendously girthy horse. Oh. Oh.

12:43

All about him. Yeah, I'm sure you can. At

12:46

length. Is it? Yeah. Yeah, this

12:48

is... So this is dude named Kenneth Pinman. This

12:50

happened to Ryan with sister bands by the chain.

12:52

He was an engineer for Boeing. Okay.

12:55

That's the most interesting piece of the

12:57

equation there. It said like, you know

12:59

how to engineer planes. Took

13:06

it in the ass. Did

13:09

he think he could engineer his way out of

13:11

it or something? He'd done it before. This wasn't

13:13

his first radio. Oh shit. But

13:15

it was his last. He probably engineered some sort of...

13:18

He had the calculations too. He had the

13:20

calculations and everything. He was an engineer. And

13:23

he had the... What'd it go wrong? He

13:25

was definitely solving for, you know,

13:27

air resistance,

13:29

drag, various other things

13:31

to keep speed up. I

13:34

remember to study for the AP

13:36

Physics C Mechanics exam, we had

13:38

to draw a free body diagram

13:41

of the horse smashing into

13:43

his ass. That's

13:48

how we practiced. Yeah, that's how we

13:51

practiced for the exam. Practice what? Free

13:53

body diagrams. In

13:55

physics class? What

13:58

did you have to calculate? He had a... How

14:00

hard? Yeah, the Newton

14:02

meters and the... Too

14:04

many! The speed. It was too many!

14:06

Yeah, to extrapolate. Yeah, well that's... yeah.

14:09

We know that. We're just trying to get into the nitty

14:11

gritty, you know? Yeah, well that's what... I mean, that's what

14:13

he tried to do and we saw how that turned out.

14:16

I wonder if he gave the horse any supplements. You

14:19

know those gas station pills you can get? Bigger

14:23

at the XO. I've only had gas

14:25

station eggs. Gas station eggs? Do

14:27

you not know about gas station? I mean,

14:29

I'm sure that they've got them. I just

14:31

never referred to them as gas station eggs.

14:33

It's pretty hard to not like acknowledge that

14:36

the eggs you're eating have come from a

14:38

gas station. But, okay, so let me tell

14:40

you about gas station. The chickens in the

14:42

back or something. I have this gas station

14:44

I like to frequent on Wednesdays. I don't

14:46

know if you guys have this, but I'm

14:48

driving by... I'm

14:50

sorry. What, are

14:52

you done? Are you done concocting?

14:55

Yeah, yeah. Are you done mixing? Yes,

14:57

I'm done. I'm finished. Are you

14:59

sure? It looks like there's a little sediment still at

15:01

the bottom. You gotta understand, he's a ghost. I don't want you

15:03

to keep going. I'm loving that you're

15:06

talking to me about this because this gives me

15:08

time to plug my product. That is great. That's

15:11

how I look in my natural spectral form right

15:13

there. Just a little bit ectoplasm.

15:16

Yeah, it looks like it's fucking good.

15:18

Thanks man. Is that Comsops? What

15:21

is that? Yeah, it's Comsops. Nice, my Comsops. That'd

15:23

be a pretty terrifying way for a ghost to appear

15:25

is that they start out as like a gooey white

15:27

fluid that comes out of a drain or something and

15:29

then... It

15:31

actually took me 14 days to manifest. It was disgusting

15:33

and I did it in my basement. It was disgusting

15:35

and excruciatingly painful. Something like a little Christmas tree to

15:38

get you in the holiday spirit. Ew, wait, why do

15:40

you have more? Oh

15:42

god. Ted, he started out with

15:44

a small cup. He's also...

15:46

Time out. Nivelling on the

15:49

fucking candy cane like a rabbit. But

15:53

the candy cane is bigger now. What is bigger? And

15:55

the portion of the eggnog is also bigger. Nothing like

15:57

a little Christmas tree to get you in the holiday

15:59

spirit. I don't understand what you're talking about. No,

16:02

no, no, let me read. I'll be the death. They've grown in size

16:06

That's a pyrex now, that's a that's a

16:08

measuring cup you're drinking in previously a regular

16:10

cup That's

16:15

fair, I don't think there's any recommended amount I

16:17

don't think any of it is probably healthy

16:20

for you to have but I Okay,

16:24

I'll let it slide I'll let it slide

16:27

but I said Ted I swear let him

16:29

know let him know if

16:31

I see that cup Get any bigger. We're gonna have

16:33

a real big fucking problem. I I agree. I agree.

16:35

We you know out of you to assume a cup

16:39

So are that is that egggong right there?

16:42

Yeah, how do you eat a can I don't know how to

16:44

eat this? Like I'm just

16:46

yeah, I think you just like you put

16:48

your blood put your pretty mouth on it and

16:50

shove it down your toe Okay,

16:53

you curl your pretty lips around

16:55

that round that candy cane There's

17:01

no other way to do that right there's no other fucking

17:03

way no no you need to lick it I'll tell you

17:06

what when I was a kid I would suck on the

17:08

end of that candy cane until it came to a point

17:10

and then I would like look at it I'd be like

17:13

I could do some damage with this thing like if

17:15

I snapped If I somebody somebody you

17:17

mess with me during Christmas, you know, I'm getting

17:19

a little stabby. It's like a little homemade shiv

17:21

Yeah, I actually I fucking hate candy canes. I'll

17:24

be totally real This one's good because it's strawberry,

17:26

but I'm just not a fan of like I

17:28

just need like one minute I need

17:30

one lick of mint. Yeah, I

17:32

need a mint sized mint. There's a reason that they make

17:34

mints in the size of mints That's

17:37

true. It is fucked. I start from the top

17:39

though. I like the wall like the curvature what?

17:43

Okay, you start the hook. Yeah, I bring up the

17:45

hook you don't eat the hook Sucking

17:48

on that are you sucking on that? I enjoy

17:50

the curvature yank and break the hook and then

17:52

I have it as a no No,

17:54

you don't know you don't yes. I do. Yes. I

17:56

do. I unwrap the top of the candy cane and

17:58

then I start at the How are

18:00

you sucking on it? So how are you sucking

18:03

on it like you're a fucking fish like a

18:05

cock? I put this thing in my mouth and

18:07

I run my tongue along the hook along the

18:09

curvature Don't say you're running your tongue, dude. I

18:11

don't want to ever hear you say you're running

18:13

your tongue again I'm being honest. Can you show

18:15

me? Can you show me? That's a comically large

18:17

candy cane. I can't I don't know what you're

18:19

talking about. It's not that much thicker. Charlie

18:22

we haven't invented this yet. Slightly

18:24

above average. Slightly above

18:26

average. It used to be a regular

18:28

one. You have a regular one. I don't know

18:31

what this is a dang candy cane. Yes you do.

18:33

This is a dang fucking candy cane. I'm

18:35

sorry I don't fucking swim around like doing a

18:37

Christmas swamp until I'm fucking snagged

18:40

by a fucking hook, dude. You

18:42

can fit the

18:45

candy cane in your mouth from the curvature.

18:47

The wind is too high. That's

18:49

bigger than the average. Are you

18:51

insane? Are you crazy? Are you doing this

18:54

in public you fucking freak? Dude

18:56

he got you there dude. You're a freak. Yes

19:01

I put the thing in my mouth and I licked it. Charlie's

19:04

making a great point right now. Like what way do you put

19:06

it in? How many times do I

19:08

have to say it's in a button-to-apert sized candy

19:10

cane? I don't understand what I'm supposed

19:12

to do with this. You're confusing me so

19:14

much you're hurting my head. Get out of my

19:16

head. You changed man. You changed man. I'm

19:18

trying to manipulate our ghosts. He switched up.

19:21

He switched up. No he's not

19:23

switching up dude. You're eating candy canes in

19:25

weird ways and running your tongue along the

19:27

fucking curvature of it man. Dude that ain't

19:30

cool. That's the most enjoyable way to do

19:32

it. Says who? The Pope? I don't think

19:34

so. Me. I

19:36

put a lot of shit in my mouth Ted. I'm

19:38

sure. I know

19:40

what feels good for me. Oh yeah?

19:43

I know what makes me happy. Can

19:45

you say that about yourself? I do. I

19:47

like fucking on the end until it turns

19:49

into a point so I can start stabbing

19:52

shit. Okay. Then we're different.

19:54

That's respectable. We're just different. But

19:58

You I can understand that. Side

20:00

but you can understand my. Idol. never

20:02

heard anyone coming at it from the

20:04

fucking hook dude. Now divorced and I'm

20:06

hoping as this may sound like you

20:09

ban cowboy Okay. I

20:11

do. What the fuck? I won't. Stop.

20:14

Laughing at me Zola ago I don't go

20:16

up or mode on that fucking they are

20:18

no. Well there's nothing wrong with that. Actually

20:20

don't know. I genuinely don't know what to do

20:22

with this are I'm sorry caught up on

20:24

this on this gas station story. You are

20:26

about the town because I moan and on

20:28

what would the deal did you make that

20:30

ignoring from gas station eggs be I didn't

20:32

ask me. Hydrant. Boil.

20:36

And and. Services

20:38

in business has cast to

20:40

go. To and sometimes I like to go there

20:43

for a snack. Actually, every time I like to

20:45

go there for a snack for the thing is. Some.

20:47

Days some is. Your

20:49

feeling a little healthier, right? But you're

20:51

at the gas station. They got gas

20:54

station options. Maybe I don't want sees

20:56

his. Maybe I don't want gas station

20:58

or a girl. Maybe I don't want

21:00

to slims you. Know that he. I don't

21:02

want a slim Jim because I had a slim Jim

21:04

last time. But. You know what? In.

21:07

That little round about cooler fridge image

21:09

exists right in the middle of the

21:11

store. I find my hands.

21:13

Racing, it's way up to the top. Were.

21:16

Right there, sealed in a

21:18

tight wet package or to

21:20

deliver Press Pearly white. We.

21:23

Both. To let me tell

21:25

you if I'm all they come in. Packs,

21:27

Of to clearly you've never in know

21:29

Steve. Never a dull total late Wednesday

21:31

night, low down at home, sick wave

21:33

gasps, those wave on wave or school

21:35

and I think to myself I'm already

21:37

here and I might as well. I

21:39

mean, I'm looking at my macros and

21:41

I just need a little more protein.

21:43

Eight grams of pop and not bad

21:45

at all. And so I

21:47

think. One.

21:50

Of my just can ask for twenty dollars on

21:52

pump five. Now. Am I gonna

21:54

pump these? Right

21:57

now he has shown all

21:59

baby. Fuck yeah, dude fuck yeah

22:01

those into your mouth. Oh, no no no no

22:03

no heart. They're hard-boiled. They're hard-boiled Oh,

22:06

they're prepped and they're wet. They're wet. They're

22:08

sitting there actually wig wetter than you'd expect

22:10

oh Okay, I'm starting to understand

22:12

this a little bit more Yes,

22:15

I get the hard-boiled egg thing. I

22:17

think what was confusing me the most

22:19

was a gas station selling

22:21

a packet of two individual

22:24

like two Uncooked like just

22:26

normal eggs normal eggs like I'd be

22:28

like that's the smallest collection of eggs

22:30

I could I'll get four but

22:32

two I would imagine will like fall over wouldn't

22:34

even be a little balance or something like Oh,

22:36

you're on a counter Like

22:39

there's not like a secret drawer in the gas

22:41

like an egg drawer. Well. There's just like Yeah,

22:47

when I go to the guy I like to fish around in the loose

22:50

eggs in the guy the egg pile See

22:52

if I can find I find I usually I try and find the

22:54

happiest one for the best deal Let

22:56

me kind of go a face good though the

22:58

gas station eggs. Yeah, yeah the gas Yeah, you

23:00

get a little good you did for the matter

23:02

you get a little gas station salt on those

23:04

puppies And you're not going back. You're not going

23:07

back give it a shot Give it give

23:09

the gas station eggs a shot all I'll say is

23:11

last week the little thing was broken and there were

23:13

no gas Station eggs, and I got a regular sandwich,

23:15

and I was sick for like a day But

23:18

you know what that's never happened with the eggs.

23:20

That's never happened So whatever

23:23

whatever golden goose they have there whatever fucking golden

23:25

gas gas station goose they have in the back

23:27

pumping those things out I hope it just keeps

23:29

coming Okay,

23:31

this sounds like a magical place. I'm gonna show

23:33

up there. I want to find that good So

23:36

the problem is is that last

23:38

week. I realized they knew who I was and

23:41

that that meant That

23:44

meant No, they knew

23:46

me from like a YouTube short or something But

23:49

they'd known for a while which means they'd watched

23:51

me every week walking to that gas station And

23:54

just buy eggs, and you know it's fucked

23:56

it sometimes. I did go back for seconds,

23:59

and I did Sometimes you'd like eat them before

24:01

you get to your car and you're like well

24:03

shit. I gotta have my road eggs I gotta

24:05

have my road eggs. Yeah, or like I'd have

24:08

something else and I'd be like oh dude You

24:10

know it would wash this down so fucking good

24:16

And I found this out and I'm like oh my god

24:18

these people they don't even they don't even know me a

24:20

slime school anymore They know me is like the egg they

24:22

know me as the egg gobbler Egg

24:24

gobbler that is sometimes a youtuber like

24:27

they like the youtuber role is your

24:29

fucking secret identity Or is your fucking

24:31

yeah, the YouTube My

24:33

public identity the egg gobbler is my by

24:36

pride like a private life. Yeah, I

24:38

don't want only they know Yeah, a little secret with

24:41

them. They know the truth about you. Yeah I

24:43

mean we got there's seven 11s

24:45

and quick trips and fucking whatever

24:47

the other ones are in Texas

24:50

I've never really felt the need to go in

24:52

there for any kind of cuisine You've

24:55

never had a little like a little snacky craving at

24:58

the gas station every night a snacky. No

25:00

no no I'll tell

25:02

you one thing whenever I'm on a road

25:04

trip I'm a fucking snackaholic like

25:06

with you you put me out of loves

25:08

you heard of loves No,

25:11

you put me out of loves this one more

25:13

relates to you a little bit more So you're gonna love Tucker's

25:16

in the call, dude. I'm seeing the V He's

25:20

looking good. Oh one would relate

25:23

to shot you go to a

25:25

buckies now. That's gas station No

25:36

It's not like heard about wall. I have a friend

25:38

in Florida who always talks about wall was Wawa

25:41

starts like it Delaware and goes down.

25:43

Well was absolutely a pencil man like

25:45

at least a Philadelphia thing Maybe

25:48

I start to Pennsylvania. I've never seen him

25:51

in New York I just remember knowing someone

25:53

who was from Philly when I was in

25:55

college and they were like they were like Oh,

25:59

but I'll tell you one I'll tell you

26:01

one place that I'll tell you Did

26:04

we hear the same thing? Was

26:06

your friend a fucking bee? Your

26:10

mic glitch is going to really set down It looks so bad, it

26:12

just, you fully turned into static And I was like dude that's crazy

26:14

that your friend is an actual gnat Like

26:16

you keep a little gnat around I'll

26:20

tell you one place that has really

26:22

good gas station food And it was

26:24

when I was in Ithaca And it's

26:26

Robins Corner And I think it's

26:28

called like Dandy Mart now Or something like that

26:32

And when I was visiting Tucker one year The

26:35

sandwich that we got at this gas station

26:38

Was so good that it caused Tucker

26:40

to kill someone If

26:42

we're counting animals as

26:44

people Oh! Yeah,

26:48

you killed an animal Tucker where'd

26:50

you get the antlers from? We're basically, we

26:52

get in the car, we're driving It's winter,

26:54

there's like the fucking snow's coming down I'm

26:56

taking a bite of this, Tucker's getting it

26:59

He's driving, he's smelling it He's like

27:01

a cartoon where his nostrils increase And

27:03

the fucking smell starts floating And he's

27:05

like, give me a bite of that

27:08

And so he's got it in his hand And he

27:10

takes a bite out of it And he like looks

27:12

down on it Tucker does this thing,

27:14

when he's eating really good food His eyes widen

27:16

and he starts like kind of honing in

27:18

on it And the world starts fading out

27:21

around him And he starts getting tinnitus And

27:24

he's eating that thing, I'm like give it back And

27:26

he's like, get away from me He's like snarling at

27:28

me And

27:31

we're like, what? Tucker

27:34

ran over a possum A fat

27:36

ass possum It was big It

27:39

was as big as it gets That's

27:41

no problem, that's no problem though I'd fucking

27:43

swerve to hit a possum You go out

27:45

of your way to hit a possum That's

27:47

vile little creatures I've got too

27:49

many fucking creatures around me If I hit a possum,

27:51

I know that litter is growing up to kill me

27:54

Yeah, I

27:56

actually, I'm very much, if

27:59

I see a little a little creature, their little

28:01

eyes, their little baby fucking eyes reflecting back at

28:03

me at night. I always, I always stop, but

28:05

there was a possum recently that I stopped for.

28:07

And this was like the, I don't think

28:09

he knew he was going to die. Like this possum just

28:12

fucking looked at me and opened his mouth and just like

28:14

started like hissing in the middle of the street at my

28:16

like, at my car. And

28:18

then he did that and then he stopped and he looked straight

28:20

at me and then he went, whoa! And he ran off. Possum's

28:25

got to be the dumbest creatures in

28:28

the American animal kingdom as far as I know.

28:30

Yeah, I do. That's like

28:32

if you're like swimming and you see a fucking like freighter

28:34

coming at you and you're like, let's

28:36

see who can, who fucking lives. And

28:38

you start freestyling out. Like, what is that? That's nothing.

28:40

The fighter flight kicked in and he's like, wait, no,

28:42

I was wrong. It was like, I was watching where

28:45

the needle was on the wheel. Congratulations,

28:50

get fucking switching. I

28:52

will say though about, about possums is that I'm

28:54

pretty sure that they're the only North American marsupial.

28:56

Is that true, Tucker? I don't know.

28:59

They're definitely marsupials. Tucker,

29:01

I could Google it, but. I'll do it for

29:03

you. Thanks, man. Yeah, no, this is,

29:05

this is, this is little reindeer's job. Yeah, back

29:07

when I was on the show, I would, I

29:10

would have Googled this, but. Possum's Rick. Yeah, you're

29:12

right, Ted. You're right. Oh, Dash, you're on print.

29:14

You're right. Wow! Wow, plus

29:16

one Ted. Do I get a present?

29:18

I'll give you a present after the show. Okay.

29:22

Whoa, dude. I think I just got a present right

29:24

now. Holy shit. Audio listeners love

29:26

you to death. Tucker just deepens a V. The

29:29

15th came early. Thank you, Sandy Claws.

29:32

That's getting loud. Open up the next

29:34

edit. Dude, I'm actually gonna cringle. I'm

29:37

gonna cringle all over that V neck. I

29:40

was gonna ask you guys, do you think, do you think you

29:42

would, do you think your fight or flight? If

29:45

you had to pick one for the rest of your life. A

29:48

fight or flight? Like, if in any situation,

29:50

any situation where it was gonna trigger, you had to

29:52

pick if you were gonna always flight or always fight.

29:54

What would you pick? Um,

29:58

probably flight, because. There's

30:00

a lot of situations like

30:03

say a cars coming. Yeah, probably wouldn't

30:05

be ideal to try and Yeah,

30:09

you run away every time sure you look

30:11

silly sometimes but you're still alive, you know

30:14

Yeah, but think about this you're fighting all the time

30:16

people are me like man He's so badass he fought

30:18

a car and then if you fight enough cars, you

30:20

probably eventually start winning against

30:22

a I mean

30:25

he fought it up you get enough experience

30:28

dude you get under the hood. It's all

30:30

over I'm running my rules man. If I

30:32

punch a car enough times eventually I'm gonna

30:34

start crushing that 98

30:42

to 99 percent don't beat their first car.

30:45

But yeah that 1% that slips through

30:47

the gap They

30:49

learn a little something 99% also quit after

30:51

the first car You know

30:53

when in reality it's like it's like that. It's

30:55

like that gambling photo, you know It's like the

30:58

diamonds are right behind that but the diamond is

31:00

being able to beat cars Yeah,

31:04

dude Hello. Oh,

31:07

did you go I'm back. Yeah, I was gone every

31:09

3 p.m. I go Oh

31:15

Where and like span upon I lose what

31:17

I lose later that connection at

31:21

Like almost every hour on the hour now.

31:24

It's this new fun trick my ISP

31:27

is playing on me I

31:29

just the way you said I go made me picture

31:31

you instead like you're just talking to us normally and

31:33

then all of a sudden Like you're fucking like warping

31:35

through space Yeah,

31:38

just like sorry guys disappears and reappears into

31:40

existence. I had to go it's my curse

31:43

Yeah So

31:46

Charlie, I mean despite despite all

31:48

the goose and gaffes and the fact that you're

31:50

a ghost I mean, how's your how's your year

31:52

been since we've last had you on the pod.

31:55

Oh my goodness even

32:00

know that I've chuckled guys I don't even know that

32:02

I've chuckled something's different about

32:04

you yeah something's actually

32:06

really different I would say and you know I

32:08

might actually if you don't want I'm gonna claim

32:10

it right now you're

32:13

like you're getting all

32:15

like sexy honest I

32:18

was gonna say you're getting all like I

32:20

was gonna glasses all right all right I'll

32:22

come clean I feel like what sexy with

32:24

the glasses let mine do oh yeah that

32:26

photo in front of the mirror dude dude

32:29

I'm getting there I'm fucking getting there dude

32:31

I'm fucking getting to the choke levels is

32:33

that the play that's the play that what

32:35

you're trying to do I'm getting close create

32:37

that yeah but I want I want to

32:39

get I have

32:42

to get there I have to get there I don't think I'm that

32:44

far no but honestly what it was is like

32:46

something in my fucking brain you know how your

32:49

lobe like finishes at 25 it finishes

32:51

cooking well yeah I think I I didn't think

32:53

I heard that ding but then one day I

32:55

woke up and I was

32:57

like there it is and

33:00

for the first time I feel like my

33:02

character customization screen like opened for the first

33:04

time in 25 years like

33:06

where you just like kind of just decide yeah

33:09

feel like I want to be a yeah I

33:11

just want to have fun and just experiment yeah

33:13

cuz like my life I was I

33:15

was so weird it's not like the only like

33:17

actually but uh I

33:19

was definitely like you know that

33:21

fucking image of the cargo shorts and

33:24

the green Zelda t-shirt yeah I

33:26

think I've seen you in that before yeah that

33:29

was definitely me for a full

33:31

like quarter of how long I'm

33:33

gonna live yeah at some point like I don't know

33:35

what it was I just woke up and I was

33:38

like oh fuck yeah

33:43

and you've got you so are they are these

33:45

contacts that you're wearing right now or are you

33:47

did you get laser or something like that no

33:49

no I have I have thought about getting laser

33:51

it's like I don't know it scares me a little bit

33:54

because I don't I keep thinking of that dead space scene

33:56

like that scene in dead space to where you have to

33:58

like hold your eye really still and that Fucking needle

34:00

goes into it. Do you don't have any

34:02

idea what I'm talking about? I've actually seen a

34:04

clip of it on YouTube while having not played

34:06

dead space which is probably like But

34:09

I picture some like I picture

34:11

laser like that Yeah, it's like if I like I have

34:13

to look I don't actually know how it works But I have

34:15

to look directly at the laser and if I look away

34:17

the doctor will be like no My

34:21

screen will go red. I'll fly like you're just

34:23

blind and you've just got scars all over your

34:26

face You look like a fucking kinetic up. I

34:28

just have like yeah, I have like the craziest

34:30

fucking floaters in my vision like The

34:33

friends that's cool. I like floaters Dude when

34:35

I was a kid and I said I

34:37

was sitting on the curb for the first

34:39

time looking at the sky and I saw

34:41

My floaters, I thought I was fucking haunted

34:48

Tried to catch them for four years Oh

34:52

When like how when did this start when how old were you

34:54

this start? I remember exactly what it was

34:57

Because it was after swim practice and

34:59

I went outside and I was just staring

35:01

at like the sky and the buildings Yeah

35:03

of like this kind of like metropolitan area

35:06

and all of a sudden I was like Hey

35:09

little guy, and I tried to like look

35:11

at it, and then it was gone. Oh, that

35:14

was that was cool That was like a spiritual experience, and

35:16

then I started zoning out again looking straight. I was like

35:19

He's back And like

35:21

you're getting with wind spirits. That's what it fucking

35:23

felt like dude. I was like you know what

35:25

Miyazaki film We

35:29

can see them No one

35:31

else can see that I Seriously,

35:34

I like tried to look at my floaters for years like I

35:36

tried to catch them off Dude, there was

35:38

definitely moments when you're a kid where you're

35:41

like just looking for any evidence of like

35:43

having superpowers or something like that Yeah,

35:46

I definitely I went on like a longer arc than

35:48

most with that I feel like trying

35:50

to catch my floaters. I don't know did you

35:52

get when did you guys find your find your

35:54

little floaty friends? I found them in the car

35:56

one time Yeah,

35:59

yeah Carrible spot to feel like

36:02

you're you're having a fucking vision What

36:05

did you think? What did you think it was cuz

36:07

I don't know straight ahead. I think

36:09

I'm just like floaterless right now I'm

36:11

like trying to looking straight ahead right now.

36:13

I'm trying to identify any floaters Did

36:16

I have a 12,000 lumen flashlight

36:18

that we can try? Hmm

36:22

can we help Yeah,

36:25

oh, yeah, maybe we go down a little

36:27

bit when we start me like a little

36:29

an opener flashlight Maybe just a normal flashlight

36:33

Gateway Gateway flashlight.

36:35

Yeah. Yeah, you're not ready

36:37

for pure white I saw

36:40

a check out the other day of a guy who was

36:43

like driving and he was punishing people who kept their high

36:45

beams on on like a like a Two

36:47

two lane road like one of

36:49

those backcountry two lane roads It would be like

36:52

he'd have his his lights on and they'd have

36:54

their high beams on he turns on this fucking

36:56

They must have been something attached to the top

36:58

of it like he's truckers up and lights up

37:00

the whole fucking like Mountain there's

37:03

just a whole general area. It's like going through trees

37:05

and stuff and then like you see them immediately turn

37:07

it off Cuz he's flashing at

37:09

first. He's like come on turn it off. Come up

37:11

All right, just fucking hits the nuke button and they

37:13

just get washed in light Yeah,

37:16

that would blind you yeah, that would that

37:18

seems like super dangerous. Yeah, that's definitely like

37:20

yeah I mean, I'm doing but I'm glad

37:23

that they were doing it cuz then I

37:25

get I'm like, yeah It

37:27

was it was really it was also really funny when he hit that

37:29

little button and all those little packs came out of the bottom of

37:31

his car What

37:41

makes an occasion special Does

37:44

it have to involve a birthday? anniversary

37:47

or promotion or Can

37:50

it be that first juicy bite of

37:52

a perfectly cooked burger? Shared

37:56

over last with good

37:58

friends a warm summer night Sounds

38:01

pretty special to us. Together

38:04

we bring more. Beef.

38:07

It's What's for Dinner. Funded by

38:09

Beef Farmers and Ranchers. Perfect truck in

38:11

GTA. Oh that's funny. Yeah.

38:14

I got, my eyes feel like they're working

38:17

worse and worse every year. Yeah, that is

38:19

how it goes I think. I was in

38:21

Japan not too long ago and I'm trying

38:23

to like navigate and read these signs with,

38:26

huge, like it's all just screens there.

38:29

You know, just like information

38:32

shining at you 24-7 and I was

38:34

like fuck I can't, I

38:37

can't like read that as good as I feel like

38:39

I should be. And I went to the doctor and

38:42

first of all terrible astigmatism. Did

38:44

not know what that was at all. Do you get

38:46

the starbursts? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

38:49

Bro, not everyone gets those. Isn't that fucking

38:51

crazy? Astigmatism, yeah. That's what that is. If

38:53

you're ever like driving at night or if

38:55

you like, squint your eyes and the light

38:57

kind of contracts into it. It's a

38:59

single line for me that goes up. Oh is

39:01

it? Okay, mine's... And if I turn, if I

39:03

turn it'll kind of rotate with me. Have you

39:05

ever tried to look down a red dot site

39:07

on a gun plant? Yeah.

39:09

Is it fucked up for you? It

39:12

helps if I open my eye really, really wide

39:14

but it is a little fucked up. Yeah,

39:17

that's an eye condition listener. So

39:20

get that checked out. Yeah, look. I actually have

39:22

glasses coming. So we're gonna do a little switch,

39:24

Charlie. You're gonna have glasses. You're

39:27

gonna have glasses? Four... Classes?

39:29

Nighttime driving. Oh,

39:32

like an old lady. No, I still

39:34

have 20-20 vision. But she said

39:36

it's like kind of close to not being

39:38

perfect anymore. Sure, sure, sure, sure, bud. I'm

39:40

picturing you with those little ovals with the

39:42

little flits, the little fucking flits in the

39:44

middle late at night. You're like back here

39:46

just trying to figure it out. Yeah, just

39:49

driving like right in front of the wheel. Is

39:51

it a car? Is it a car?

39:53

Just a possum? Whatever. Let's

39:56

find out. I remember when I was first getting

39:58

glasses in like early... High school and

40:00

I like I tried to like cheat on the

40:02

fucking eye test like I wanted to like not

40:05

have the vision that I had So I was

40:07

like I was like trying to try

40:09

to I was I basically just was trying to like

40:11

fucking See better and

40:13

like just get like I was doing my best

40:15

trying to guess like what the letters said and

40:17

stuff like that I was like, I'm gonna be

40:19

yes. I'm gonna get 20 20 vision. Nah been

40:22

wearing glasses for years since That's so

40:24

funny though that you're like if I do this

40:26

I earned it Yeah,

40:30

I'm gonna look at me a medal and then

40:32

I'm gonna be I'm gonna be sitting this special

40:34

forces. I Don't

40:37

know if you want that yeah, I'm gonna be

40:39

sitting this special forces I'm gonna get been on it.

40:41

I'm gonna stop 9-11. I think I'm gonna get I'm

40:43

gonna get Cody with my 20 20 visions Well,

40:46

he went 2012 14

40:49

at the time probably right when I got my glasses

40:52

Call me was probably a pretty big problem actually

40:54

and you let him go kind of lines up

40:57

when I got my go Yeah

41:00

That's pretty fucked up down. Yeah

41:02

only 2012 written on a sticker on all

41:05

my notebooks and folders I had to raise

41:07

awareness and I don't think you did. Yeah.

41:09

No, I mean I was I was obsessed

41:11

with with catching him I mean, you know

41:13

the teacher would catch me Doodling

41:15

and it would just be me writing his name over and

41:17

over again, and I was holding up I

41:23

was writing it like a fucking I was writing like

41:25

a little kid but like an angry one I was

41:27

writing like 2012 with his last name Dude,

41:31

I had a map of Sudan Just

41:34

in case map of Sudan with like

41:36

you got the rivers and stuff and they have to like

41:38

a topographic map You're like, I think this would be a

41:40

good place to ambush Kony if we were to ever get

41:42

this This is the second

41:44

outpost of the Lord's Resistance Army If

41:47

I was Cody, I'd follow this river right now.

41:50

This way What do you

41:52

you're trying to like doing doing meditation and trying to

41:54

figure what would Kony do? Setting

41:57

letters to Kony like he's Santa dear Kony this

42:00

year I want you

42:03

dead Oh Kony Kony

42:05

Kony there's no

42:07

Kony 2013 yeah we need something new like

42:09

that we got a whole fucking

42:12

island he got a whole fucking island did he

42:14

did what do you mean he got a whole island yeah Kony

42:16

Island right oh

42:21

that was a good one clearly I'll

42:23

give it to you though that was

42:25

there recently

42:27

in 2012 no

42:29

no in 2023 yeah that's it

42:33

was recently a couple months ago so

42:36

now that it's the Christmas season guys I

42:39

mean maybe we should we should chat about

42:41

a Christmas topic and I forget

42:43

what our Christmas topics were last time guys

42:45

it's been a year like what's the what's the

42:48

new chocolate sandwich format like is there like a

42:50

Tucker dancing segment like is there like a segment

42:52

where Tucker sings is there like a like a

42:54

prancing segment is there like a like a segment

42:56

where he like runs around is there like a

42:58

segment where he wear he dances for us is

43:01

there a segment where he dances for me is

43:03

there a segment where you get where he gets

43:05

up and he starts dancing around the house is

43:07

that a segment where he starts picking up things when we Triple like

43:17

a little thing where you turn like he's resulted he

43:19

start acting like a little reindeer prancing around do like

43:21

a segment like carrot or like maybe

43:24

a little male segment but the only male question is can Tucker do the

43:29

dance so

43:33

there's one explanation that needs to

43:35

be so what Tucker's wearing right

43:37

now if is like a

43:39

woman's onesie he got from

43:41

the department store and I don't think he's

43:44

at Liberty to stand right now

43:46

I don't think that that's

43:48

in his wheelhouse of things oh but

43:52

maybe a little bit of sitting prancing you know

43:54

I wouldn't be opposed I don't even know what

43:56

that would entail give a little bit of

43:58

I don't know just a little bit of prance man and

44:01

let me see you guys do a little

44:03

bit of prancing a little bit of this

44:08

okay if we all are in sync oh I'm over here

44:11

I'm at the rain what if we're all in

44:20

sync come

44:23

on Tucker get it the oh wait no we're all at

44:25

the rain you're at the rain and all and where are

44:27

you all gallop you know we do

44:29

have this a

44:31

new segment

44:38

where Charlie comes on once a year and

44:40

he harasses the hell out of me Rudolph's

44:42

got off each year you

44:45

got big hooves to

44:47

build yeah yeah

44:50

it's been a full week yeah

44:53

I mean what's uh what's our what's

44:55

our do we have a Christmas treat that

44:57

we're looking forward to assuming that we're all

44:59

going home for the holidays I mean

45:02

I'm glad you mentioned it because there's nothing really

45:04

like a little Christmas treat to get you in

45:06

the holiday spirit there's gonna be a fuck it

45:08

I told you I fucking told you I think

45:12

my quick we have to acknowledge that it's

45:14

getting bigger what's

45:16

getting bigger your cheer

45:18

your holiday I can't feel

45:21

my holiday cheer growing inside I can feel

45:23

my I can feel my little Grinch heart

45:25

getting larger feel like through three sizes the

45:28

crew three sizes incredibly dangerous

45:30

situation for him you

45:33

know like the Grinch would

45:35

die doing that you know like you'd see

45:37

his fucking you'd see blood coming out of

45:39

his mouth like imagine that that was how

45:41

the movie ended it was like this heart

45:43

grew three sizes and he's like what's

45:46

that mouth Ted

45:49

you didn't even acknowledge what the fuck that

45:52

what do you mean we're just having a good I don't

45:54

know what he's doing right now I told them he's giving

46:00

us tears even though I sent him to camp. This

46:02

is so fucked up. What's going

46:05

on right now? I feel like this is all

46:07

just one big practical joke that we're all in

46:09

on except Schlatt. Why don't

46:11

you go tell one of your ranch counselors? Yeah,

46:13

you do have... They gave you their numbers. You

46:16

can call them. They'll say, call me if you

46:18

have any doubts. I

46:20

have a witness. You have any doubts? Look,

46:27

see? Look, do you see what he's doing? Do you

46:29

see what he's doing? I

46:32

could not get all that into my mouth. What are

46:34

you talking about, though? Jesus

46:39

Christ. Audiolists, I love you to death.

46:41

Charlie's having a Christmas feast on this

46:43

podcast right now. And it's just... It

46:46

doesn't look like it's really enjoyable at

46:48

all. It doesn't look like...

46:50

Looks terrible. Jesus Christ, dude. Be like, Be

46:53

like, Pete Rhett, Goomy Candide. It's

47:00

just water, too. Yeah, Jesus.

47:02

Don't choke, Charlie. I would hate

47:04

for you to just, like... I

47:06

gotta go back to... I gotta go back

47:08

to hell anyway, dude. I gotta go back to hell

47:10

anyway, bro. I'm going crazy.

47:13

The cup's getting bigger, dude. The

47:15

cup's getting bigger. Do

47:18

you even care? I need to wash it down

47:20

a little, something. Why does no one

47:22

care except me? Why

47:25

does no one care about that? That's absurd. That's absurd.

47:28

Yeah, you know, you talk about

47:30

what? That's absurd. You're looking straight at it.

47:36

I don't know what to do in this situation. I'm

47:39

at a loss for words right now. I

47:42

would take a sip if I were you. Have

47:45

a little eggnog? Yeah. A

47:48

little bit of eggnog? Why was

47:50

there a little of that? Mmm.

47:54

Yum. Yummy. Dude,

47:56

it looks good. You just had, like,

47:58

a... Dude, I don't... think that gummy

48:01

and fucking eggnog really pair

48:03

together well at all

48:05

maybe a cookie maybe a crispy

48:11

cookie would pair well a

48:13

delicious crispy cookie the ideal cookie

48:15

i'm trying to work up to this

48:18

oh fuck are we gonna do this

48:20

we haven't even i haven't even swallowed dude

48:22

it's so sick you

48:24

sound like you're being

48:27

overtaken by like an alien it's

48:29

getting thicker dude i don't know

48:31

how growing in your mouth you

48:34

guys need to can you have a

48:36

side conversation yeah well okay you have

48:38

a side it's like so bad i

48:40

got you so if

48:42

we had to determine what our biggest crime

48:44

was this year that we would probably be

48:47

like uh gotten by santa for

48:49

where you thinking i would be probably

48:52

stealing this guy i broke

48:54

into someone's home for him no you

48:56

did never admitted to that really yeah

48:58

yeah it was in flugerville i

49:01

broke in and i took the thing and i

49:03

walked off the thing he never had any problems

49:05

did you like case this like was this like

49:07

a heist and you case yeah i saw i

49:10

saw him in the window one time while i

49:12

was driving by and i

49:14

and i broke in and i took the

49:16

thing and he's mine now oh

49:19

it was in flugerville flugerville

49:21

that's not a fucking real that's a

49:23

doctor who at what are you talking

49:25

about what is there's no flugerville ask

49:28

him he's from flugerville buddy are

49:30

you from flugerville speak english he's a little

49:32

chat are you from little flugerville are

49:35

you a little fluger you a little fluger

49:37

a little fluger you a little cat doesn't

49:39

feel right doesn't feel right

49:41

to call a cat a little fluger yeah

49:43

it feels like a slur for cats yeah

49:45

it does hey careful i can send you

49:47

back are you still in this crispy cookie

49:49

shit dude i i

49:52

still believe the crispy cookie shit

49:54

oh my god it's been two

49:56

years it's been two years you

49:58

need to grow You

50:00

need to know here's no here's the thing here's the thing

50:03

I just need to clarify this because I feel

50:05

like I didn't get to clarify this the last

50:07

time we talked about it What do you want?

50:09

What is that when I talk about crispy versus

50:11

gooey cookies? I hate what you stand

50:14

for I'm talking

50:16

about if it's like

50:18

produced by a company and is made

50:20

in packaging So we're comparing something like

50:23

chips. Ahoy Chewy or

50:25

like the chewy made

50:27

or like one of those fucking vending

50:29

machine Grandma cookies or something like that

50:31

to something like a Tate Now

50:34

if I'm walking into a walking in

50:36

what if I'm what do you say?

50:38

Tate's you know a Tate's Tate's

50:41

the taint Now

50:43

man, I know none of them

50:45

not that kind of cookie. What's it

50:47

talking about Tate's? But if I'm

50:49

walking into a That's

50:51

my bad Tucker. Can you please know you

50:54

you should educate yourself. I'm very familiar with

50:56

the tape But

51:01

if I walk into a fucking thing,

51:03

are you fucking kidding me dude? Oh,

51:05

they're so fucking good for you Good,

51:07

dude. So good. So good. They're fucking

51:09

I they're so fit and they're so

51:11

crispy and I don't know If

51:16

I walk into a bakery and I'm

51:18

getting in the cookies are fresh and

51:20

the in the chocolate is melty yada-yada-yada

51:23

I'm like I'm with it I'm loving it

51:25

and if it was if it was a

51:27

hard crispy hard cookie in a bakery, I'd

51:29

be like, well, what are we doing? Here, what

51:31

are we doing here? Say

51:34

to that those would be the prime Conditions

51:38

in a bakery setting yet in

51:40

a fresh cookie setting absolutely But

51:43

in a but in a large-scale

51:46

cookie operation I'm

51:48

thinking that maybe the Tate's Maybe

51:50

the crispy cookie is what? You

51:53

is what you need? I've

51:55

got I've got thousands and thousands of hours

51:57

on cookie clicker. Okay. I've got those grandmas

52:00

I've got those grandmas whipping away and I

52:02

can tell you right now I can tell

52:04

you right now my soft supple cookie operation

52:06

is going nice and strong So good luck

52:08

with your with your little crispy shit. Good

52:10

luck with your fucking basically wafers Pretty

52:13

much I will I'm gonna start a crispy community

52:15

and we're gonna be we're gonna talk about the

52:17

crispness of a tape You're not gonna start have

52:19

you have you actually never tried to taste cookie

52:21

before? I've had a taste cook you you know

52:23

what I had a taste cookie after you suggested

52:25

it and I thought it was fine But

52:29

not bad, but not bad. No, it wasn't

52:31

bad. It wasn't bad Okay

52:36

Texturally texturally for me. I

52:39

will take that little bit of give any

52:41

fucking day of the week I'll take that little bit of give

52:43

you try what chips away to you

52:45

like the red kind. I Used

52:48

to really like the chips of hoy-choy. See

52:50

now that's fucked up. Why do you make

52:53

such a face? Are you

52:55

serious? No, no, are you

52:57

serious? That's that's like that's

52:59

like fucked up Charlie. Come on Back

53:04

how do you feel as a kid

53:06

the chewy was it was fun

53:08

It was a novelty, but the

53:10

crispy, you know grow up time

53:13

to grow it In break grow

53:17

Race the blue package. What is a cookie?

53:20

What is a cookie of not a child

53:22

like joyful escape and you're telling me to

53:24

fucking grow up about my cookie tape I've

53:26

got you there there on the landscape,

53:28

but I will you you know what

53:30

Tucker you look like you eat caramels

53:35

That's the opposite direction of grow up that's too

53:37

old I'll be your little

53:39

Charleston person shit. Yeah, that's the mole

53:41

person. I love Charleston shoes Yeah,

53:47

I put them in the fridge and I

53:49

suck on yeah, I mean Charleston shoes are

53:51

pretty decent But let me just say if

53:53

you're talking about a little hook first probably

53:55

to Yeah,

53:59

yeah Like if you talk about

54:01

you're talking about how you're growing up and how

54:03

you're discovering new things all of a sudden then

54:05

and then It's like, you know Maybe

54:08

it is time to fully grow up and maybe the

54:10

cookies are the last thing, you know, you've updated you

54:13

don't have glasses anymore Maybe you can see a little

54:15

bit better Listen

54:18

listen to me listen to me my mother My

54:24

mother owns a bakery and when I go in

54:27

there, do you know what cookie I look for?

54:29

I look for the one with that little little

54:31

bit of squish in the middle and god damn

54:33

it If that's the prerequisite, then we should

54:35

be hunting for that same textural thing

54:37

in the cookies. We shot that

54:39

by We

54:42

should be but unfortunately, I don't think it's possible

54:44

I don't think it is to

54:46

to acquire that same gooeyness that

54:48

uh, you can't get it. You can't To

54:52

us you can get it. Hey You

54:55

just don't you just don't want to accept what it

54:57

entails I'm gonna be I'm gonna be a squishy cookie

54:59

person Until the day I fucking died

55:01

it or the day I choke on one and

55:03

die I don't even think is it did

55:05

we put a poll up like is am I in the

55:07

minority here? I mean, I know I

55:09

am but I'm on we could put a we

55:11

could put a poll up to on the chuckle

55:14

sandwich Community thing to seal the deal finally once

55:16

and for all on what the truth is But

55:19

I you know, I gotta emphasize, you

55:21

know if we're talking And

55:24

you know as the son of the Baker, you know, you

55:26

know when I walk into a baby I'm looking

55:28

for a delicious fresh cookie, you know You

55:31

know, I like it when it's got a little bit Okay,

55:34

I got one's got a lot of give to it, you know So

55:38

like a soft cookie you

55:40

thought when I'm talking

55:43

about mass-produced cookies Ted

55:45

if you had to get in if you had

55:47

a fucking chewy red cookie cookie from chips Why

55:49

I'm biting that I'm like, oh

55:51

wait, did they fucking pre fucking stale this

55:53

shit? Like what? What did I do? You

55:55

could have any cookie right now. What would

55:57

what kind of cookie would you get? chocolate

56:00

chip, any crispiness, any give from

56:02

wherever. What would you

56:04

do? I'd probably get like a fucking sugar cookie

56:06

from Insomnia cookies. Yeah, and would it have a

56:08

little bit of give? Yeah,

56:11

absolutely, Insomnia cookies are greasy. They're

56:13

greasy and delicious, dude. I rest my case, I rest

56:15

my case. But they're

56:17

fucking freshly made, Charlie. I don't understand, is it?

56:19

I'm on your side when it comes to the

56:22

fucking freshly made- Yeah, there's a question of what

56:24

you prefer, and all I'm saying is that you

56:26

just said your perfect cookie and it falls right

56:28

in line with what I'm talking about. That's what

56:30

I'm saying. I feel like I'm just having a

56:32

hard time getting over the fact that- You guys

56:34

need to stay within the confines of Chips Ahoy

56:37

Red versus Blue. I think you're trying to keep

56:39

the conversation rigid, dude, and I'm trying to have

56:41

a little give, okay? That's what I think

56:43

I'm trying to do. I think you're having a little too much give. Ooh.

56:47

I'm gonna, I'll tell you what, when this

56:49

recording drops, I'll give you something. Chuck

56:52

or I'll- Oh, right. Yeah,

56:56

I mean, in the, I

56:59

don't know, it's tough. In the category, Will Shite, what do you

57:01

think? You've been a little bit quiet. Tate

57:04

Cookie. You what? Tate Cookie.

57:06

Tate Cookie. Guys, what am I

57:08

gonna, what do I say? I got a

57:10

package from someone to my peel box when

57:12

I had it two years ago. I

57:15

unboxed it last week. Tate

57:17

Cookies, two years expired.

57:20

Opened them. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

57:22

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Probably the

57:25

same fucking texture because a stale fucking cookie has

57:27

that texture, bro. That is a texture of a

57:29

stale cookie. A

57:32

cookie in a sub-optimal environment is

57:34

the texture of the cookie you

57:36

enjoy. Not true. You're saying, you're

57:38

giving me reasons. Not true, one day. You're explaining it.

57:40

You're explaining it to me. Wow. I'm

57:43

ready to go back to that. So things really have in the last,

57:45

I think it's been like maybe two years since we've had this conversation

57:47

and things just haven't changed. It's like

57:49

when you go back to the same Thanksgiving dinner, but

57:52

like now instead of being angry about it, you're just

57:54

exhausted. You're just exhausted.

57:56

So am I like the Trump uncle? A cookie

57:58

you enjoy. Not true. You're saying you're giving

58:01

me reasons. It's not true one day. You're

58:03

explaining it. You're explaining it to me. Wow.

58:06

I'm ready to go back to that. So things really have in the

58:08

last, I think it's been like maybe two years since we've had this

58:10

conversation and things just haven't changed. It's

58:12

like when you go back to the same Thanksgiving dinner

58:14

but like now instead of being angry about it you're

58:16

just exhausted. You're just exhausted.

58:19

So am I like the Trump uncle right now?

58:22

Or I'm like, man those Biden

58:24

taxes there, you know, I've been paying a

58:26

little bit too much for gas. So it's

58:28

either that or I'm like the, or I'm

58:30

the weird uncle who's like, nothing like a

58:32

cookie with a little give. You're

58:35

like, how is it in the corner? Nothing

58:37

like a cookie before it hardens. Yeah, you're

58:39

staring off in the space just eating the

58:42

cookies and stuff. And

58:44

they're like, don't talk to him. Don't talk to him. He's

58:46

like, I don't know. Yeah. I don't, I don't

58:48

feel like I'm trying to think if there's any, what

58:51

other debates did we have that I, that any, either of

58:53

us would have changed our minds on or anyone else

58:55

would have changed our minds on. I think we

58:57

will be able to move the planet. Yeah.

59:01

I, I changed my mind on that. You

59:03

changed your mind. What did you change your mind to? In

59:06

like, if given an infinite amount of time, yeah, we're going

59:08

to be able to move the planet. Well

59:11

it was before the sun ballooned up to swallow

59:13

the earth. I think we

59:15

would have moved it. How much time do we have for

59:17

that? Billions of

59:19

years. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I don't,

59:21

I. We'll have some

59:23

Dyson fear, sphere ship by then, right? Okay.

59:26

So this, and this is assuming, this is like

59:28

assuming we haven't gone anywhere. We're like, no, that's

59:31

not an option. We got to move the planet. It

59:34

can be anything. I think even if we are

59:36

off of earth and we hate our,

59:39

all of our history on the planet, I think

59:41

there'll still be some trillionaire who's going to move

59:43

the planet. I feel like you're going to

59:45

need a little bit more of that trillion to move the planet. You

59:48

know what? Actually, billions

59:51

of years. Yeah. It's

59:54

a little bit clearer. It's a little bit cut and dry. Dude, I feel

59:56

like we could do it. It

1:00:00

is very hard to say Tucker.

1:00:03

I think we'd move it.

1:00:05

Yeah, who doesn't like that one Charlie not an

1:00:07

original And it mover. I don't think I don't

1:00:09

I was the only truther. I don't know how

1:00:11

I don't remember how it was how it was

1:00:13

Initially pitched pitched in a very like childlike Yeah,

1:00:18

like get the fuck off my case

1:00:20

I would be one and true one

1:00:23

the one one true god of the

1:00:25

one true You didn't

1:00:27

come in with oh in a billion years when someone wants

1:00:29

to preserve the Word

1:00:36

of God you came in with guys we could

1:00:38

move It

1:00:42

was the timeline was like the last thing that came in

1:00:44

you're like And it

1:00:46

was like now I'm

1:00:49

not I'm not adverse to the possibilities Okay, if we

1:00:51

want to move the planet if we want to I

1:00:53

feel like there's better options I mean, I don't know

1:00:55

but but if we if we got like what huh?

1:00:59

Well, I go so it's gonna be so fucking

1:01:01

hard to move a planet, right? might

1:01:04

not be I Feel

1:01:07

like if we're giving ourselves so much time seems like

1:01:09

it would be kind of hard now to do it

1:01:12

Yeah, I don't think we could do it in

1:01:14

the next million years million. Really? You don't think

1:01:16

we would take us No, I think I don't

1:01:18

think we could do it in the next 1000

1:01:21

years I

1:01:24

think by the time I think by 3000 if

1:01:27

we're still if we're still kicking Did you

1:01:29

think we're moving plan? We're gonna we're gonna

1:01:31

have I think we'll have planet But

1:01:35

we're just gonna I'm

1:01:37

just gonna say then we bring

1:01:39

more planets into the solar system

1:01:41

and we can have we're gonna

1:01:44

stack our solar system with planets We

1:01:47

could we're gonna go on and then

1:01:49

have cheap to get other planets Transfer

1:01:51

between them we think about this

1:01:53

we get ten different planets. We

1:01:56

line them up with earth We have them going the

1:01:58

same speed now All of a

1:02:00

sudden, that's the vacation planet. Wait,

1:02:03

so I'm just confused. That's cool, man. That's cool.

1:02:06

I know, but I'm just confused on why we're going

1:02:08

on errands to get other planets. We're not going on

1:02:10

errands. There's money to be made. Do you know what

1:02:12

this is like? This is like saying,

1:02:14

kids, kids, do you want to

1:02:16

go to Disney World? And they're like, yeah,

1:02:19

dad. And dad's like, great. I'm bringing it

1:02:21

here. Like

1:02:23

versus going. I mean, I don't know. I

1:02:25

guess like it's possible. But

1:02:28

why would we? Why would we make money

1:02:31

to make money? Can I just start?

1:02:33

Where are we getting these other planets? Mars.

1:02:37

Why are we closer? So one

1:02:39

planet will bring you Mars and we're putting it

1:02:41

named a plant. What

1:02:43

are we out? Where are we putting them?

1:02:45

We were getting created in the Earth orbit. We're putting

1:02:48

them all in the earth in the habitable zone. Okay.

1:02:51

For that mass of planet. Dude,

1:02:55

what the fuck are you talking about? I'm

1:02:57

talking and making sense. So

1:03:00

we want to make a planet in

1:03:02

make a planet. Make

1:03:05

a movie. Well, I mean, that actually, no, that

1:03:07

makes sense. I mean, you're just describing like a,

1:03:09

you're describing just a spaceship, like a fancy planet

1:03:11

spaceship, right? Yeah. Like a big net.

1:03:14

No, you're talking about a big, how are you going to

1:03:16

catch the planets? Are

1:03:18

we going to catch the planets? Are we going to do with a

1:03:20

net? Yeah. Like how are we, what are we doing?

1:03:22

Big claw. Now we're going to

1:03:24

move it. You need a method of propulsion

1:03:26

that hasn't been invented yet. You need to

1:03:28

stop. You need to stop the planet. Wait.

1:03:32

Okay. So either you need to stop the planet from

1:03:34

rotating or you need to put like a shit ton

1:03:36

of rockets everywhere on the planet. Yeah. We

1:03:39

got to put a bunch of rocket on that thing.

1:03:41

Let me tell you something. We launch probes into space

1:03:43

that travel for decades before they

1:03:46

reach their target. And

1:03:48

these things go millions of

1:03:50

miles to meet little tiny

1:03:52

fucking comets to meet

1:03:54

them and land on them based

1:03:57

on where we calculated they'd

1:03:59

be decades. prior and the math

1:04:01

always works out right if you're telling me

1:04:03

that in a thousand years we won't be

1:04:05

able to do that shit for on a

1:04:07

much bigger scale I just

1:04:10

think that the thrusters

1:04:12

the scale of putting

1:04:14

thrusters on a planet

1:04:16

you know what are

1:04:19

you shaking your head stop thinking

1:04:21

with oil and gas Ted stop

1:04:23

thinking with with ignition and

1:04:26

starting with warp drive we're talking fusion

1:04:32

planet planet warp we're gonna work the

1:04:34

fucking planet you know what fuck

1:04:36

it yeah man I'm

1:04:38

in yeah good I mean

1:04:40

I'm down I guess you know I

1:04:43

guess Halo happens in like the year

1:04:45

2500 and that's pretty fucking accurate in

1:04:47

my brain you

1:04:50

know I get frequently disappointed like

1:04:52

honestly once a month I get

1:04:54

disappointed where I'm like man the

1:04:57

shit they can do in Halo like all the

1:04:59

fucking space shit they can do in Halo I'm

1:05:01

like born to or going to early for fucking

1:05:03

covenant war like that's that's where I'm at yeah

1:05:05

man I'm looking down and I'm thinking like this

1:05:07

thing still hasn't fucking moved I'm

1:05:10

not in the Andromeda galaxy right

1:05:12

now when are

1:05:16

we gonna pick this thing yeah sometimes

1:05:20

we just gotta also also just saying

1:05:28

and this is probably one of my most delusional thoughts I

1:05:30

get myself I feel like if I tried really

1:05:32

hard I could become a Spartan in

1:05:35

Halo I'm sure the Halo thing I'm in

1:05:38

Halo oh yeah well don't you have to like

1:05:40

fucking get in a big suit and get like

1:05:43

nails drilled into you and like well that's what

1:05:45

they had to do in the first round of

1:05:47

Spartans but then later on they got really they

1:05:49

got way better at like doing the augmentation and

1:05:51

stuff well yeah you gotta get you gotta get

1:05:53

nails in yeah maybe like they're not like medical

1:05:55

nails though but like they got way better at

1:05:57

the augmentation where they stopped using like orphans And

1:06:00

they and like later on it was

1:06:02

like by the fucking fifth game or

1:06:04

something It was like people who were

1:06:06

used to be like ODST could become

1:06:08

Spartans how to become a

1:06:11

Spartan halo Jesus got

1:06:13

four nails in and that didn't stop him. That's true.

1:06:15

That's true. He did come you know what and you

1:06:17

know what? They hated him

1:06:19

because you spoke the truth Jesus

1:06:22

was the first Spartan guys. This is a lot of

1:06:24

information. That's too much. There's there's a lot of information

1:06:28

Yeah, I think I do you think you have

1:06:30

do you think you have perfect? psychological

1:06:33

and genetic markers for Strength

1:06:37

agility and also do you

1:06:39

have a predisposition to a crash? That's

1:06:43

a little bit you think so You know

1:06:46

like sometimes I like when it comes

1:06:48

when it comes to like doing something

1:06:50

like I was very aggressive in the

1:06:52

dodgeball thing We lost the dodgeball tournament

1:06:54

blood weak dodgeball tournament. That's because Judy

1:06:57

Cinderella who fucking submitted to the team on our

1:06:59

second game like she was the last person there

1:07:01

We were like you just gotta catch one and

1:07:04

I'll be back in I'm gonna start playing body

1:07:07

She thought I don't need knees and

1:07:09

played. I got bad news.

1:07:11

I got bad news It sounds like

1:07:13

you would not be lucky people to

1:07:15

be broken into their house injected

1:07:17

with the sedative and rushed through slips That's

1:07:21

the first program. Okay, it's the

1:07:23

first program That's

1:07:27

hard one master chief is But

1:07:30

I'll tell you one thing I

1:07:34

would be a little bit I Would

1:07:37

be a little bit hesitant to it

1:07:39

like just say on the podcast that I

1:07:41

have like perfect Genetics because that seems like

1:07:43

a dangerous road. No, I think you should

1:07:45

I think you should do you do you

1:07:47

feel like you have? Well, yeah, that must

1:07:49

have been an awkward conversation for these scientists.

1:07:51

Like what's your what's your perfect genetic markers

1:07:53

exactly? Yes Yeah.

1:07:56

Yeah that seems like yep. So do ya know?

1:08:00

I, uh, the fifth, the fifth

1:08:02

pleading it is what I'm

1:08:04

doing. I

1:08:06

don't know if we're going to send a guy into your houses

1:08:08

at night, dude. I don't know. Yeah,

1:08:12

that's fair. That's fair. I don't know. I think that's a

1:08:14

good, that's a good aspiration

1:08:16

though. That would be, I will,

1:08:18

I will say in shots defense, moving

1:08:21

back to the island or the

1:08:23

planet thing, it will be kind of cool having

1:08:25

all the planets in one big orbit and

1:08:28

you know, you got, you got like the

1:08:31

casino planet. That's Venus. You

1:08:33

got the fucking, uh, like,

1:08:36

I dunno, agriculture planet. That's

1:08:39

Mars. Probably you're going to

1:08:41

have the poor planet. That's mercury. You've

1:08:44

got the fucking, send them.

1:08:47

We don't, uh, or we, are we going to go all

1:08:49

the way and get like Pluto wind shed? Dude,

1:08:52

I don't know. I'm just thinking if we get the big ones, it's

1:08:54

going to be a little awkward. And we start orbiting around them. You

1:08:56

know what I mean? We'll figure

1:08:58

it out. Yeah. Yeah. No, we'll have to figure it

1:09:00

out. You're right. Why am I thinking, I'm thinking about

1:09:02

monkey shit. I'm thinking about the man. Yeah. And they'll

1:09:05

make free body diagrams. We'll figure all this out. Oh,

1:09:07

we get like a monkey planet. That'd be kind of

1:09:09

cool too. A monkey planet. And we just put all

1:09:11

the monkeys there and just like, we

1:09:13

put all the monkeys there and then, you know, assuming we

1:09:15

can do anything in the year 3000, cause that's kind of

1:09:18

what the vibe is right now. If we can move planets,

1:09:20

it feels like we can move. Bubble. What

1:09:22

if we are the monkey planet? We

1:09:24

kind of are. We actually actively are right

1:09:26

now. Because we have monkeys here,

1:09:30

but we put all

1:09:33

the monkeys on like mercury or something,

1:09:35

once it's all habitable and stuff, we

1:09:37

make a temporal bubble. What

1:09:40

does that mean to you? What it means a time

1:09:42

bubble. Right. But, and we start

1:09:44

speeding that up and we see what happens if we

1:09:46

just leave it, we speed it up kind of like

1:09:48

they do in black mirror with that little dial. If

1:09:50

you've ever seen like, we speed up all the monkeys,

1:09:52

we speed up their time there and we see what

1:09:54

happens and we see if we can make a monkey

1:09:56

society. That

1:09:59

sounds horrifying. I feel

1:10:01

like they would kind of like plan the

1:10:03

more steps and more science. Yeah, and like

1:10:05

we're like We're

1:10:07

causing it directly But

1:10:10

yeah, I don't know monkey city I

1:10:13

do okay. Here's the thing like I

1:10:15

feel like given the choice I would

1:10:18

just evolve everything just to see You

1:10:21

want to make an evolved gun? Yeah,

1:10:23

I want to evolve gun like okay, but I

1:10:25

don't know I feel like if I like evolved

1:10:28

all the like if I evolved every fish Like

1:10:30

do you think they'd be chill with me? What the heck? Wait

1:10:33

Charlie what? That's

1:10:40

my little guy my package here here. Should

1:10:42

I go here? Oh my god live? Open

1:10:46

it live I

1:10:48

think it's I think it's locked in like

1:10:51

the in the mailbox thing

1:10:53

and I I could know that's

1:10:55

alright That's alright. That's alright. I Mean,

1:10:58

I don't know like what

1:11:00

like is there like another segment now?

1:11:03

Is there like sort of like a more physical segment? We're

1:11:05

like Like any sort of

1:11:08

like intervention coming up where like someone?

1:11:11

And I'm not sure us three are probably gonna be

1:11:13

talking to someone like Like

1:11:16

you could do a little like dance around a

1:11:18

little oh my god get out of here. Let's

1:11:20

see your dance moves Um

1:11:27

No, but seriously like what do you guys do now? What

1:11:30

do we do in the pocket while we do? What

1:11:32

do you do? We still do chuckle weeks We still

1:11:34

do we didn't check a weekend. We hit 100 I

1:11:38

had a burp. We I had a burp again I

1:11:40

had a burp a third time. Um I

1:11:43

saw you guys. Oh, you know what? I saw you

1:11:45

guys make the chuckle sandwich and it was yeah I

1:11:47

was so sad. I was so sad. I didn't make

1:11:49

the chuckle sandwich with you. Was it

1:11:51

good? Was it good? No, no, no,

1:11:53

it wasn't good at all. It tasted like shit. That

1:11:56

makes sense Did you add the meat for me? We

1:11:58

did we had it like Like a, wasn't it

1:12:00

like a huge piece of fucking ham? It

1:12:03

was a huge hamstick. Yeah, it was a

1:12:05

massive hamstick. A whole, full hamstick. I mean

1:12:07

that much, wow. Yeah, I did. Thank

1:12:09

you. Yeah, man. That means a lot. Yeah,

1:12:12

I mean, I mean, what do you have?

1:12:16

I mean, how long, oh, I guess we have been going for an hour

1:12:18

and 20. So I mean, should we do the, should

1:12:22

we do like the what you have going on

1:12:24

thing? Oh my God, are you gonna roll out

1:12:26

the red carpet to me? Just roll out the

1:12:28

red carpet. What the fuck?

1:12:31

This is fucking surreal. You

1:12:33

just, I've never been red carpeted on

1:12:35

this show. Tell the people watching

1:12:38

at home what you got going on. This doesn't,

1:12:40

this feels wrong. I don't like this. I

1:12:42

don't like this. What do you got going on, Charlie? This

1:12:44

will come out. I feel like if

1:12:46

you're red, like red carpeting me, now it's real. Now

1:12:48

it's real two years later. It's

1:12:50

so fucked. Yeah. All right, all

1:12:53

right. This camera, this camera, this camera. Yeah,

1:12:56

I just, before I do that, I

1:12:59

was just, I want

1:13:01

you to do one more thing for me. Oh

1:13:03

yeah? If you're gonna ask me to roll out the red carpet,

1:13:05

if you're gonna roll out to me. Can

1:13:09

you ask me the question? Oh,

1:13:12

shall I take it away? I've

1:13:15

never been on this side before. I

1:13:18

mean, upon the original asking,

1:13:21

technically, you and I, Charlie, we're on

1:13:23

the receiving end, the first time you

1:13:25

said it. No,

1:13:28

no, okay, nevermind. Don't remember that.

1:13:30

Yeah. Charlie,

1:13:33

what? Look

1:13:37

me in the eye. Look me in, you got it. Would

1:13:41

you rather have unlimited

1:13:43

bacon, but

1:13:46

no more games, or

1:13:48

games, unlimited games, but

1:13:54

no games? Are

1:13:56

you okay? Seriously,

1:14:00

it looked like it was a real experience for

1:14:03

him. I think he just came in his

1:14:05

pants, Ted. I

1:14:09

just nogged myself. That's

1:14:17

it? Are we

1:14:19

not getting an answer? I don't

1:14:21

know! You know what, guys? You know what? I

1:14:26

think I'd probably have to go with... No!

1:14:28

No! What's that?! No,

1:14:32

Charlie, no! Please answer!

1:14:34

Please answer! Please! That's Charlie! Charlie,

1:14:37

no! No! No! No! Oh,

1:14:41

man. He died again. Jeez.

1:14:45

Shit. Uh-huh. You

1:14:48

know, if that happened to anyone else on

1:14:51

our pocket, we'd have a problem. Yeah, no, we wouldn't have

1:14:53

a problem. No one would ever want to come. We'd

1:14:56

have a problem. Yeah, that would be bad.

1:14:59

That would be bad. Yeah. That'd

1:15:01

be a bad thing. That'd be a bad

1:15:03

thing. Crazy that it's, you know... We kill

1:15:05

him and he reappears twice, though. You

1:15:08

know? He does. Like, one

1:15:10

time it's like, oh, that's crazy. Second time

1:15:12

it's like, okay, wait, wait. This is like,

1:15:14

this is a little... This is

1:15:16

kind of getting out of control, you know? It makes me wonder

1:15:18

how effective we are at killing him. Not

1:15:21

very effective. No. Not

1:15:24

very effective. Or Charlie's just got a

1:15:26

lot of unfinished business. I'd

1:15:29

imagine he does. Yeah. Jeez. Wow.

1:15:33

Well, um. Merry Christmas.

1:15:36

Merry Christmas. Oh.

1:15:48

Chuck or laugh. Chuck or start laughing, baby.