0:00

You're finally tackling your spring home improvement

0:02

projects. Hello 2024 Dream Garden! Until

0:06

you realize you're short three bags of mulch.

0:08

And why didn't you get that pair of

0:10

gloves you were looking at? Luckily, through Instacart,

0:12

you don't have to stop mid-project to run

0:14

to the Home Depot. You can get your

0:16

missing gardening supplies, tools, and more delivered in

0:18

as fast as 30 minutes. Have more time

0:20

for your project and get the Home Depot

0:22

delivered via Instacart. Visit instacart.com to get free

0:24

delivery on your first three orders. Offer

0:26

valid for a limited time. Minimum order

0:28

$10. Additional terms apply. We

0:31

are AudioStack.ai. Combining

0:33

AI writing, the best synthetic voices,

0:35

with production and delivery. Be it

0:37

ads, podcasts, or VOs for video. Just

0:39

like this ad, how would you utilize

0:42

AI audio? For free! Go

0:46

to audiotac.ai/contest. Give us

0:48

just a few details.

0:50

And you could replace this spot and be heard

0:52

by millions. See webpage for Ts and

0:54

Cs. audiotac.ai/contest.

1:00

Schlatt summer fashion erotet is coming in. He's

1:03

coming in hot. Big time. What is this?

1:06

Are you in Challengers now? No,

1:09

I haven't actually seen that movie yet. You gonna start

1:11

making out with a tennis player, huh? A

1:14

big hot sexy tennis player?

1:16

I mean, I'm big and hot, but let me show you what I

1:18

got here. What do you got? Oh,

1:22

Lord. Oh. Oh, Lord. Dude,

1:24

the shorts were a jump scare. Maybe

1:28

he is about to start kissing some dude

1:30

named Art. I mean, if he's hot. Oh,

1:32

wow. I wish that was me,

1:34

dude. I wish I was kissing that dude named

1:36

Art. If a guy's name is Art, you know

1:38

that he's got some Baron Uncle. What?

1:41

You know? Baron Uncle? Yeah, like some sort.

1:44

He's gotta be a trust fund kid if

1:46

his name is Art. Oh, yeah. That's an

1:48

old money name. If you're

1:50

naming your kid after the thing you like to collect

1:52

the most at auction, you're absolutely

1:55

a trust fund person right there.

1:57

I'm gonna name my first kid

1:59

Cigar. Or

2:02

gay porn. Welcome

2:05

to Chuckle Sandwich. Hey,

2:09

Chucklers. Welcome

2:29

to Chuckle Sandwich. Today I

2:31

have handpicked a bunch of

2:33

goofy, hard, some of

2:35

mankind's hardest questions for you,

2:38

Ted, and only for you. Really? You're

2:41

not going to let Tucker involve himself in this? No, no,

2:43

no. Tucker is not a part of

2:45

this podcast and he never will be. And I'm tired

2:47

of seeing all these little people saying, oh, we need

2:49

to get Tucker in the intro. You

2:52

notice something? Tucker's still not in the intro.

2:55

Stupid. He never will be. Look

2:58

at him sipping his hot chocolate. But

3:01

he's growing in power. Have you seen his

3:03

background? Every time you look at his background,

3:05

he's got more and more birds on his

3:07

wall. Dude just typed in bird art in

3:09

Amazon and selected the first

3:12

thing that came up. Okay, first off,

3:14

that one's mammals. Second off,

3:16

that one's fish. All right.

3:19

Yeah, no, he's building a flock. He's growing in

3:21

power. He's going to have like, he's going to

3:23

be like Noah's Ark. Someday he's going to do

3:25

it like a night at night of the museum

3:27

thing and all the all the animals are going to come

3:29

out of the paintings and he's going to send them like he's going to go

3:31

like this. He's going to send them towards you.

3:35

To kill me? Yeah, something like that. I

3:37

mean, if you keep pushing him like this, if you keep

3:39

pushing him to his edge like this, look

3:42

at him. He's incredibly unstable. Look at

3:44

my shirt. Tucker

3:46

looks incredibly unbothered right now. I don't

3:48

think anything really gets to him. No,

3:50

I'm having a great day. Tucker, you're

3:52

probably the most American guy that dresses

3:55

like the most Canadian Canadian. I

3:58

think there's a lot of respectable qualities. about

4:00

Canadians. I mean, not everything, surely, but

4:02

they have some good qualities. Loon.

4:05

Name one. Name a good. Or

4:08

a bad. Wait, are you

4:10

saying that there's a lot of like bad

4:13

things they do that are respectable qualities to

4:15

you? No, no, they, they have good respectable

4:17

qualities. They do. There's, there's some. Canada

4:20

wouldn't fucking exist if it weren't for

4:22

us. Yeah. That's one of their worst

4:24

qualities. I'd say. Terrible qualities. Terrible quality.

4:26

And they all live like right, right

4:28

on the border. Trying to get as

4:30

close to us as possible to leech

4:32

off of us. They also are on

4:35

basically our soil, but they still observe

4:37

the monarchy. Little suspicious. Crazy. Crazy. If

4:39

you were driven on in Ontario on

4:41

Queen Elizabeth Highway, what's that about? Oh

4:44

Jesus Christ. Get that out of here.

4:47

We should bomb that highway. There's a

4:49

highway. Yes. Napalm, maybe. Bring

4:52

it back. Fire. Round two. It'll catch the

4:54

tires, you know? That'll

4:57

make for an interesting entry

4:59

into World War three. That'd

5:02

be probably the craziest move America could

5:04

do on World War three. What's our

5:06

first chess move? Let's bomb the highways

5:08

of Canada. Let's

5:11

just prevent them from being able to move

5:13

around. You're not going anywhere anyways. You

5:16

think they're really doing anything? No, they're,

5:18

they're trying to save up and

5:20

little nickels and dimes because they have

5:22

no money left. Yeah. And it's all,

5:24

and it's all, it's all oxidized shitty

5:26

change. Yeah. They're scrounging around

5:29

on the floor. Oh, I, so

5:31

I got a little nickel. I got a nickel. We

5:34

might be able to get one piece of

5:36

bread today. Oh, what

5:38

sort of associate economic situation do you

5:40

think Canada's in right now? Well,

5:43

uh, look at Zillow in Canada

5:45

and get back to me. Okay.

5:48

Do you think if we attacked Canada, anyone would

5:50

come to their aid? No,

5:52

I think that it would be, I

5:54

feel like we could

5:56

absolutely blitz a Craig Canada.

6:00

and take it over and by the time it was like,

6:02

they're us now, they're us now. It's like one of those

6:04

things where like, you can't do anything about it, you can't

6:06

do anything about it. It'll be one

6:08

of those things where we go in there, we take

6:10

over everything and then the people start

6:12

coming over and we're like, no, no, no, no, we call it,

6:14

we call it, it's ours now. What

6:16

are they gonna do? I feel like

6:18

all their allies that they have would be

6:20

like, they would call on them and they'd

6:22

be like, oh, well we didn't expect America

6:25

to do that. We

6:27

were in for like war

6:29

against, somebody's small. Yeah, somewhere

6:31

east. Yeah, we were

6:33

here for an eastern fight. So

6:36

much oil in Canada too, so many natural

6:38

resources, my goodness. You let us get in

6:40

there, get our little stinky little greasy hands

6:42

in Canada, oh, something will go wrong. You

6:44

know what we should do? We should go

6:46

to one of those, I saw this video

6:48

on YouTube where there's

6:50

like these really remote Canadian towns that

6:52

like, I've looked them up online, it's

6:54

like there's this one that's like Villanuke

6:56

or something like that, it's

7:00

a video about the. Sounds

7:02

like Greenland. Yeah, you'd think, but

7:05

it's basically, I mean it's basically all

7:09

indigenous reservations up there, but

7:12

there's this one town that's like, literally you

7:14

have to take like a boat and a

7:16

plane to get there and stuff. There's no

7:18

way to drive there. I feel

7:20

like we should do a podcast there. No.

7:23

I'm game. Ted, have you ever

7:26

taken a philosophy course? I

7:28

have. Really? What

7:30

did you walk away from that course learning? Wait,

7:32

did I take a philosophy course? No, I took

7:34

a Eastern religion and shamanism course. Oh,

7:39

that's kind of different. It

7:42

is. Yeah. A

7:44

little bit. And it's not what we're gonna be talking about today.

7:48

So I don't know what to do now. Are we talking

7:50

about Saul Kripke right now? I

7:52

don't know who Saul Kripke is. Look him up. I

7:55

can tell you who John Locke is, you know, John Locke.

7:58

He sounds familiar. You know,

8:00

reined desk carts. That sounds French. Maybe

8:03

Ludwig knows it. Yeah. Yeah,

8:05

maybe he does. Look at this. See

8:07

that? Saul Kripke. No idea

8:09

who that is. Philosopher. Is that the

8:11

guy from the show? I know about Homer. Listen,

8:14

man, I'm just listening off some of the most,

8:16

some of the most, some of the most impressive

8:19

minds of our, of our generation.

8:22

Nietzsche? Maybe even generations back. Yeah,

8:24

Nietzsche. I like him. These

8:27

guys have posited some of the most

8:29

important questions known to man. Okay. And

8:32

today we're going to be discussing them. Some of

8:34

the most important questions mankind has ever encountered. Are

8:36

you ready? I think, I think I'm,

8:39

I think I'm ready to delve into

8:41

this. I have

8:43

a long history with philosophy. Yeah,

8:46

me too. I mean, I took a philosophy course once

8:48

and I think I was asleep for half of it.

8:50

Really? I just think. I

8:52

don't know how you expect like a little high schooler to care

8:55

about philosophy. Oh, you took it in high school? Oh,

8:57

yeah. Philosophy. That seems like, that sounded like

8:59

it was a college course. No, you were

9:02

taken, they were having you lost all credit.

9:04

They're having you put, they're

9:06

having you put blocks in the

9:08

holes version of philosophy. And

9:11

then they're like, now why is that a square?

9:14

He's killing me. Truly.

9:16

Wrong. Think about that. Think

9:18

about that. And is good. Is good. Actually

9:21

bad. Give us our morals.

9:24

Think about it. Yes. Let's

9:28

get on with to the first

9:30

question, Ted. This is okay. I assume we're

9:32

going to take probably 20 minutes per question.

9:34

So I've only picked four. Okay. So

9:37

we should even out to a nice, well-rounded

9:39

podcast with a lot of intellectual discussion. Oh,

9:41

okay. I'm ready to argue with you. First

9:43

question. Okay. First

9:45

question. This was posited by

9:49

John Locke himself. Okay.

9:52

The godfather of Western ideology. That's what

9:54

they call him. The godfather. And he

9:56

said he wrote in his memoir. at

16:00

that size. Yeah, I feel like. That tiny little size,

16:02

what is it gonna do? Clop you with its, with

16:04

its claps. We are dealing with a hundred though.

16:08

I know, but big duck, that

16:11

beak is just, that's a killer beak. That

16:13

is a killer beak. Yeah. There's no way of getting

16:15

around it. I think those horses really just can't do

16:17

a lot. Yeah,

16:20

I'm gonna be kind of. I agree. Like imagine

16:22

this, imagine this is the surface, and imagine these

16:24

are like the horses right here. I

16:26

would be going like this, like running

16:28

through and kicking my legs out, and

16:30

kind of like parting the sea with

16:32

them, you know? I'd be like kicking

16:34

them and going like that, and they're

16:36

flying off in every direction. I'd

16:41

be like the Moses of many horses. I

16:44

think you die either way really. I don't know

16:46

what John Locke was on when he thought about

16:48

this. Me neither, honestly. What would you do? Yeah.

16:52

Me? I think

16:54

I'd take the tiny horses. Because,

16:57

because, because I think

17:00

it's, I think, look, look, I think when you,

17:02

when you think about it. Big

17:06

duck beak is so hard and so

17:08

tough. Big duck beak's so

17:10

hard, so tough. Big duck

17:12

beak's so hard, one kick,

17:14

no go. And imagine big

17:16

duck beak bite wiener, gone.

17:20

I didn't even think about that. That's an entirely new way

17:22

of thinking about this. I did though, and I can't stop thinking

17:24

about it, and you have to join me in that. Okay.

17:28

Thank you. You're welcome. This

17:31

was actually a joke question. I put this in

17:34

as a joke. I thought we were going to

17:36

laugh at it and move right on to the

17:38

actual thought experiments of today. Would

17:40

you like me to move on, or you want to keep discussing? Can I

17:42

be real with you, Schlatt? Yeah. I

17:45

was under the impression, and I think that Tucker

17:47

was in the impression, that we were just about

17:50

to do an entire Would You Rather episode under

17:52

the guise of it being a philosophical

17:55

ordeal. No. I 100% thought that's what

17:58

Schlatt was going to do. I

18:01

was like, oh, oh, we're doing a one year rather.

18:03

So we just kind of were like, we both were

18:05

just like, oh, sure,

18:07

okay. That's what we're going with. So

18:11

we've just been running, playing it by

18:13

ear. So I was like, well, we

18:15

gotta stretch this out then. All

18:19

right, Chuckle Sandwich listeners, this episode

18:21

of Chuckle Sandwich is once again,

18:23

sponsored by our good friends at

18:25

DoorDash today. It's a mutual love

18:27

between us and DoorDash. The

18:30

Chuckle Sandwich listeners love DoorDash. And

18:32

so do the Chuckle Sandwich hosts.

18:34

Guys, at this point, we

18:36

already know that with DoorDash, you can

18:38

get almost anything delivered. But today we

18:40

want to talk about food, baby. That's

18:43

what got me this heavy. And

18:45

that's what got me this little, this

18:47

little doo-lap under my chin. Yum, yum,

18:49

yum, yum, yum. With DoorDash, you can

18:51

get any food you want delivered right

18:53

to your door. That's fast food. That's

18:56

local spots. That's fancy restaurants. That's

18:58

snacks from the convenience store. That's groceries for

19:00

a meal you wanna cook. And

19:02

that's dog food. That's dog food too. Maybe some

19:04

cat food too, if you want some. Me, I got two

19:06

cats, I got two. With

19:09

DoorDash, there's more food at your fingertips

19:11

than you can even comprehend,

19:13

all right? It is an app that

19:15

is full of everything. I used DoorDash

19:17

the other day to order some nice

19:19

Mexican food. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum,

19:21

yum. I put it in my belly

19:23

and I felt pretty good about it.

19:25

And then I ordered Indian food the

19:27

other night actually. And that was really

19:29

good. I got some butter garlic naan.

19:31

Yum, yum, yum, yum. That's what I

19:33

say. DoorDash, your door to more. Download

19:35

the DoorDash app now, chucklers, to get

19:37

almost anything delivered. But remember, you have

19:39

to be 21 or older to order

19:41

alcohol. And please, please, please drink

19:44

responsibly. Alcohol is only

19:46

available in select markets. Thanks, DoorDash.

19:48

We love you, literally. We

19:51

love you. Now let's get back to the episode. You're

19:53

finally tackling your spring home improvement projects.

19:55

Hello, 2024 Dream Garden. Until

19:59

you realize. your short three bags of mulch.

20:01

And why didn't you get that pair of

20:03

gloves you were looking at? Luckily, through Instacart,

20:05

you don't have to stop mid-project to run

20:07

to the Home Depot. You can get your

20:10

missing gardening supplies, tools, and more delivered in

20:12

as fast as 30 minutes. Have more time

20:14

for your project and get the Home Depot

20:16

delivered via Instacart. Visit instacart.com to get free

20:18

delivery on your first three orders. Offer valid

20:20

for a limited time, minimum order $10, additional

20:22

terms apply. Play this one

20:24

by ear. This hypothetical, this

20:26

thought experiment is called the

20:28

Chinese Room. Okay.

20:33

There's a computer, and I'm basically

20:35

paraphrasing from Wikipedia and other sites

20:37

that I did my research on.

20:39

Okay. There's a computer that

20:42

behaves as if it understands

20:45

Chinese. It takes

20:47

Chinese characters as input, runs

20:49

a program that has been pre-installed

20:51

onto it, and it produces other

20:54

Chinese characters as output.

20:57

This output is so good that it

21:00

can trick a Chinese person into believing

21:02

that it is Chinese. The

21:04

question is, does the machine

21:06

actually literally understand Chinese? Or

21:09

is it merely simulating the ability

21:12

to understand Chinese? Put that

21:14

in your pipe and suck on it for

21:16

a little bit. What's a YouTube listen? When

21:18

was this little thought experiment drop? Probably pre-chat

21:21

GPT. Probably, probably, but

21:23

there's a little sugar spice, everything

21:25

nice about

21:28

chat GPT when we're talking about this. So remove

21:31

that from the equation. It

21:33

was posited in 1980. I know it's

21:35

hard not to remove it from the equation though,

21:38

because it's like, that's exactly what a language learning

21:40

model is. Well, what

21:42

do you think? First impression, does

21:44

it understand? I think

21:46

it is an algorithm that

21:48

is repeating patterns back. I

21:51

don't think that it actually has a

21:53

core, concrete understanding of what

21:56

that is, because I feel

21:59

like a lot of language... language as it

22:01

pertains to humans while we do communicate

22:03

through patterns. A lot of it is

22:06

to dictate emotions. And I don't think

22:09

that the machine can dictate it's emotions.

22:20

What was the one that was going

22:22

to happen? Keep

22:26

going. So you don't think it's real? You

22:29

don't think it actually understands English?

22:31

Was that not a good idea?

22:33

How does chat GPT fit into

22:35

this in a way that supports

22:37

your argument? Because

22:40

chat GPT is a language learning model.

22:42

It's it is it's

22:44

trained on. So you don't think the model actually knows

22:47

anything. You don't think it

22:49

actually understands what it's saying back? No,

22:52

I don't think so because you

22:55

can tell chat GPT as it is.

22:57

Like you can tell it like if

22:59

you tell it something that it's never heard before,

23:02

like a riddle that you made up,

23:04

it will usually like

23:06

take a

23:08

riddle that is already established online and it'll answer

23:10

it in a similar way. I was seeing this

23:12

on Twitter where a guy was testing this with

23:15

like some sort

23:17

of like a rephrasing of

23:19

like of like this goat

23:22

riddle thing about getting a goat across a river

23:24

and it was it was spitting

23:26

out and adding information from a different

23:28

riddle. So

23:31

it's just trained on stuff

23:33

that it that it is. Like

23:36

just a lot of information, but it's not actually

23:38

really hearing what you're saying. It's like, OK, well,

23:40

where have I seen this stuff

23:42

before? Let's give it a response is

23:44

most likely. It can't like think new

23:46

things. Yeah, it's not like reading those

23:48

words and being like, OK, well, what

23:50

are they trying to say? It's

23:52

like it's it's taking that

23:55

input and being like, OK, how

23:57

does this apply to what I have? my

24:00

database. Hmm. My

24:02

Rolodex. Like it can't create

24:05

new thoughts. It can't. There's like

24:07

no creativity there. It's

24:09

based on a like I feel

24:11

like the whole thing with the human

24:13

mind is that like I

24:16

feel like we create new ideas. Well,

24:21

some people might say

24:23

that what is the true

24:25

difference between, say, a

24:28

program and the brain because is

24:30

not love just a series of

24:32

chemical reactions? I don't necessarily agree

24:34

with that. But can't

24:37

you say, OK, the brain releases X

24:40

chemical and then, you know, something reacts

24:42

and then all of a sudden you

24:44

feel in this. All

24:46

of a sudden your dick's hard. You know, like what do

24:49

you what do you think about that? I

24:52

think that. Is

24:55

the brain not just a big machine? We don't know yet.

24:58

Haven't quite understood. Well,

25:01

yeah, the brain is a computer in

25:04

its own right. But I think that

25:06

in the way that we process thinking,

25:09

I just don't think that a language learning model

25:11

is at that point yet. Like

25:14

it doesn't. It doesn't. Could could maybe

25:16

at some point. But

25:18

I think where in terms

25:21

of like. Taking

25:23

in Chinese and spitting out Chinese.

25:26

Like that's not thinking. That's just

25:28

pattern recognition. Zao Xian hou zhong

25:31

war. Bing Chilling. Wan

25:33

xi wei bing chilling. Lao

25:36

gan ma. Lao gan

25:38

ma. What is the

25:40

question? Like is the computer sentient?

25:43

Is that kind of like the actual question? Is

25:46

it capable of thinking or is it just. I

25:49

think the question is like what does

25:52

it inherently understand? No.

25:56

Well, I think if it if it's to understand

25:58

then it it is like. alive, like it's

26:01

able to think. I think that the question

26:03

would be a lot harder if we took

26:05

chat GPT and plopped it in 1980 in

26:07

front of him. I

26:09

think that he would have an aneurism. I think he would probably

26:12

like, I think he would be like one of

26:14

those philosophers that was like, I think that he

26:16

would be caught jacking himself off in

26:18

the streets of New York like the Coney guy. Like

26:22

the Coney guy. Yeah. You

26:24

gave him chat GPT like he'd be like,

26:26

wait, bye. Yeah. GPT

26:29

is like not that complicated of

26:32

a concept. It's just a

26:34

whole bunch of if statements. This

26:36

is like a pre-internet question because

26:38

chat GPT is basically just like

26:40

internet resource master. Like it is

26:42

true. Yeah, it is true. I

26:44

think the, the introduction of like

26:46

smarter AI definitely makes this question

26:48

more interesting. But who's to

26:50

say in the next 40 years, we don't

26:52

get something that can actually think. I

26:55

mean, I guess the, the, the root of

26:57

this question is like, what is actual understanding?

27:00

Yeah. I suppose there is an

27:02

argument to say that when we

27:04

are told something, we are recalling

27:06

our memory of the last time we remember

27:08

anything. So it's like

27:10

we are also accessing all the information

27:13

that we've been trained on through our

27:15

experiences. But true.

27:18

I've heard this like rumor when you remember something

27:21

you're remembering the last time you remembered it. Is

27:24

that true? How

27:26

does one prove that? That's not

27:28

the question here, Tucker. Don't get bratty with me. No,

27:32

I was ready to go down a different rabbit

27:34

hole. Yeah. No,

27:36

I had nothing. Yeah. You were getting a little bratty

27:39

with me. Okay. Maybe

27:41

a little. I don't know. Shladd,

27:49

are you satisfied? What's your opinion on this? Or

27:51

are you like what? The riddle master? I'm

27:53

just the riddler. I'm a. No, I don't

27:56

want this to be just. I'm impervious to

27:58

opinions and. It's espousing my opinion. opinion on

28:00

this. I want to hear what yours is. I just get Ted

28:02

Nivison's opinion and I go, I remember that from last time. This

28:04

is not going to be the Ted Nivison opinion on philosophy. I

28:07

remember that from last time I say, Ted,

28:09

this is why I believe in God. Okay.

28:14

In a very, very

28:17

watered down version of this,

28:21

I think there must

28:23

be a God because I refuse

28:25

to believe that what

28:27

we have up here is just a, you

28:30

know, series of chemical reactions.

28:33

I refuse to believe that we, we behave just

28:35

like a computer that we haven't figured out yet.

28:37

I think there must be some higher being

28:40

that has bestowed upon us this. I

28:42

don't know. I mean, you know, Excell

28:44

inability that we have. I think that

28:46

really what, when

28:50

I think about that, it's kinda, I really like

28:52

the idea. I

28:54

want to believe that I've got like

28:57

a soul and that soul

28:59

is going to, like, I think the most

29:01

satisfying solution to me is just like reincarnation.

29:03

And that someday we could like figure it

29:05

out at like tapping into the soul and

29:07

get all our memories back from all of

29:09

our lives. That'd be sick. Um,

29:12

I just feel like reincarnation, like I,

29:14

I love what's going on down here. I'm having a

29:16

great time. You

29:19

know, and I, I don't really want to go off to a

29:22

place of magical city in the clouds.

29:24

Like that's, like,

29:26

what the fuck? Which would almost certainly

29:28

be Chinese. Almost certainly.

29:30

Yeah. Would be Chinese. I understand

29:33

why that priest denied you communion.

29:36

What you just said. That's

29:38

not why I have a problem with going up there.

29:40

It's more because it would just be everything to be

29:42

so happy. If it hadn't turned out to be China,

29:44

my dad would probably fucking have a heart attack. That'd

29:47

be his worst fucking nightmare. No, no,

29:49

I got, I'm fine that it's Chinese.

29:51

I just didn't expect it. Well,

29:55

as of the last episode, it makes sense. I

29:57

mean, in terms of population distribution.

29:59

Yeah. Oh, yeah, there have been plenty

30:01

more Chinese people than anything else. They've

30:04

had a lot of time to build that heaven up. Yeah

30:07

But they don't believe in that right

30:10

isn't isn't aren't day on some some

30:12

reincarnation ship Um, I mean there is

30:14

a there's a I don't

30:17

know I mean in China there is

30:19

a lot of people that don't really

30:21

have a religion How

30:24

sad look you look this up

30:29

Is there a is there a high is there

30:32

a high agnostic sort of 34% of China

30:34

practices folk or ethnic religions? 80%

30:40

practice some form of folk religion interesting look it's more

30:42

of like a local Confucianism

30:44

Taoism Buddhism I

30:51

Was under the impression I read somewhere at some point that there was a lot

30:53

of like agnosticism in in China Okay,

30:59

half of people say they're not religious. Yeah. Okay, so that's okay.

31:01

Yeah. No, so I was I was worried I was I was

31:03

fucking something up there. No. Yeah, so that isn't this so half

31:05

of people in China are not religious

31:08

Which I feel like is a very different

31:12

Irreligion 7% in 2012 47%

31:14

of Chinese people were convinced atheists Yeah,

31:18

that further like that's a were not

31:20

religious. That's like We're not

31:22

religious. That's like billions of people that

31:25

just don't really have They're

31:28

not going to happen they're

31:30

not going to hell. Oh,

31:33

yeah, they are Well,

31:43

you know what's crazy what

31:45

I like

31:47

there's like this Clip from

31:50

a dude that like was really convincing. I mean like

31:52

I think

31:54

my whole issue right now with the whole God thing

31:56

is like you

31:58

like If

32:02

you're a God that like you're

32:04

all knowing and all like

32:08

you can't be all knowing and

32:10

all generous and whatnot and

32:13

all loving while also

32:16

simultaneously letting everything that happens

32:18

happen. Well

32:20

that's like you're kind of leaning into

32:22

almost the simulation God like if

32:25

I believe in a God like I don't believe

32:27

in the Christian God or whatever I don't even

32:29

really understand that but I'm totally

32:31

willing to accept that we're basically

32:33

an experiment for a different higher

32:35

plane of existence like this

32:37

is just like like cuz if if

32:40

humans got to a certain level which

32:42

like we probably will within the next 20 or 30 years so

32:45

you can run a simulation like that on a

32:47

computer we absolutely will be running those simulations on

32:49

a computer so who's to say we're not part

32:51

of that at a deeper level. Right.

32:54

And the subjects would be code which

32:57

we have already said cannot

33:00

actually understand or

33:02

comprehend anything. Fuck.

33:04

Yeah. Yeah.

33:06

You could write

33:09

code to convince them that

33:11

they can as long as

33:13

they think they can that they can. Yeah. It's

33:16

like as long as they believe it it's true

33:18

whether it is or isn't. Wow.

33:23

Yeah. I think my view on the

33:25

whole thing is just I'm considered to

33:27

be agnostic which means and I'm not

33:29

like atheist I'm not like I'm

33:32

not like there is no

33:34

fucking God like I'm not

33:37

I'm not showing up to a church and being

33:39

like. They are how he's so angry right now.

33:41

You guys are fucking evil I'm gonna kill you.

33:44

Atheists and vegans have similar

33:46

energy. Yeah there's definitely

33:49

a similar energy. There's an overlap there.

33:51

Yeah atheist vegans are probably a pretty

33:53

powerful type of Pokemon type. That's tight.

33:55

But. I

34:00

know I'm agnostic, which is kind of just a

34:03

way of saying to all the religions of the

34:05

world guys I'll figure it out when I die,

34:07

you know, this actually leads us into a very

34:10

scary thought experiment called

34:12

Roko's Basilisk This

34:16

was a question that was posited by a forum

34:19

user on a philosophical

34:21

forum and they banned Discussion

34:24

of the question for five years because

34:26

it was a dangerous thought. Whoa. Wait,

34:28

what forum was this? Less

34:32

wrong and it was a dangerous

34:34

thought Yeah We

34:37

are audio stack.ai Combining

34:39

AI writing the best synthetic voices with

34:41

production and delivery be it ads podcasts

34:44

or VOs for video just like this

34:46

ad How would you utilize

34:48

AI audio? for free

34:52

Go to audio stack.ai slash

34:54

contest give us just a few details and

34:56

you could replace this spot and be heard

34:58

by millions see web page for teas

35:00

and sees audio

35:03

stack.ai/contest Okay,

35:07

I have no idea how to paraphrase this

35:09

so I'm just gonna read from the actual

35:11

Wikipedia page Okay, Roko's Basilisk

35:14

is a thought experiment which states

35:17

that an otherwise benevolent Artificial

35:19

super intelligence AI in

35:22

the future would be incentivized to

35:24

create a virtual reality

35:27

simulation to torture anyone

35:29

who knew of its

35:31

potential existence But did

35:33

not directly contribute to

35:35

its advancement or development In

35:39

order to incentivize said advancement

35:43

Can we kind of break this into some bullet points sure

35:49

AI you didn't help

35:51

build me I Am

35:54

the most good fuck

35:57

you torture But

36:01

how, so how is it torturing people if

36:03

it's a computer? Well,

36:05

it just puts them in some virtual reality simulation.

36:07

I don't know. You got to assume this

36:09

is way far in the future. Maybe it's

36:12

like creates algorithms that

36:14

are so good you can't look away

36:16

from them. This feels like strangely similar

36:18

to the setup of

36:20

religion in terms of God.

36:23

Is that the implication? Exactly.

36:26

Exactly. Because it's like

36:28

a modern interpretation. I think it's called

36:30

Pascal's Wager. That says

36:32

basically, why would you not believe

36:35

in God? Like

36:37

the thing that makes the most sense that

36:39

is most rational for a human is to

36:41

believe in God and to act as if

36:43

you do because the

36:46

potential upside is way bigger

36:48

than the potential downside if you're, if there's

36:51

nothing, you know. I

36:54

think it's less about pretending and more

36:56

about the actual act of believing. Like

36:59

I feel like if you just

37:02

pretend for the sake

37:04

of self-preservation, does that count? I

37:08

don't think, I don't think

37:11

my God would like

37:13

that, put it that way. So

37:15

you can't fake it. You

37:17

can't fake it. Say like, for me, I've

37:19

always struggled with this because I would love

37:22

to be religious. It looks like a hoot,

37:24

you know, but I just can't. I

37:27

can't. It's impossible. I can't. I'd

37:29

be faking. I mean, it does look like,

37:32

you know, you ever see those churches where they

37:34

got the rock band, all the people are like

37:36

raising their hands up. They're like, I feel

37:38

like they're having fun in there. The Blues Brothers

37:40

this morning, the black Southern church, and they're all

37:43

singing. And I'm like, dude, I wish I could

37:45

be. I wish I could be in those Southern

37:47

churches. I know. I was like,

37:49

I wish I could be a part of that, but I can't. I

37:52

just can't. I mean, you could. You

37:54

could. I'd be faking it. I'd be faking

37:56

your stuff up. Move

37:59

down to fucking. Georgia or Louisiana

38:01

or wherever they are, where

38:04

those churches are show

38:06

up on Sunday, dude. They're signing

38:08

up on Sunday. They're singing good music

38:10

down there though. Yeah. No, they're, they're,

38:12

they're putting out consistently putting out bangers.

38:15

Yeah. Yeah. Damn. So

38:17

why was that such,

38:21

they banned that question though, Tishlatt?

38:25

Yeah. Because by, by

38:28

even considering this possibility you've

38:30

now, it's

38:33

like the game, you know, the game, you

38:36

just lost, you just lost

38:38

it. I lost. You know, you're

38:41

better off by not thinking about it.

38:43

We just lost the game for a

38:45

lot of people. That's such a control.

38:47

Like, like, oh, if you

38:49

think about it, you've already lost. So you better

38:51

just follow religion and don't question it ever. Or,

38:55

or on the, on the flip side

38:57

of this Tucker, it's like, you better

38:59

not ever learn about religion

39:01

because this now introduces a whole another

39:03

dilemma for you. You could be like

39:05

blindly ignorant. Exactly. And in

39:08

the world of Catholicism, if you don't

39:10

know, and you never get a chance

39:12

to know God, then you

39:14

go into some kind of purgatory state.

39:17

Neither heaven nor hell. Hmm. That's

39:21

like little kids too. Little

39:23

kids go there too. Maybe that's

39:25

reincarnation. Oh, they get another chance.

39:31

Like if a baby dies, like

39:33

after, right after it's born, gets

39:35

sent to fucking purgatory. That is

39:37

crazy. Okay. No, it's not. It

39:40

could be okay. It could be

39:42

okay. It's just like a gray

39:44

field. I feel like, uh, no,

39:47

no, it could be very, it

39:49

could be like a, like a shopping mall,

39:51

you know, like you're like you're like you're

39:53

shopping with your mom. Send them to the

39:55

back rooms. You're sending a baby. No, no,

39:57

no, no, no, no. No, like it's, it's

39:59

on. And it's it there's power and there's

40:01

stores and there's stuff going on. But like

40:03

you're with you're there with your mom and

40:06

like she's shopping. And so you just find

40:08

a chair to sit down at. That's

40:11

that is how it went. That

40:14

is purgatory. Or I mean, one

40:17

way that it was depicted is like you're

40:20

sitting on a airline flight.

40:24

And they're they are still waiting to

40:26

get their gate to open. Oh,

40:29

yeah. And it never does. So you can't stand up

40:31

yet. They still have you see you still have to

40:33

have your seat belt buckled and you still got to

40:35

sit in your seat and they're not. And it's kind

40:38

of awkward because it's like you don't really have the

40:40

opportunity to go to the bathroom anymore or anything like

40:42

that. You just kind of have to sit down and

40:44

keep yourself in the chair. Yeah, because it's like if

40:46

they stand up and you're worried that the flight man

40:48

is going to be like, you're not supposed to be

40:51

standing right now. You know,

40:53

sure. Everyone's

40:55

like and and also it's like the

40:57

air conditioning has kind of turned off. So

41:00

it's turning a little hot. Yeah. But if

41:02

you're a baby, you just you just shit

41:04

yourself. You don't care about that. Yeah. But

41:06

then you're just going to be a baby

41:08

slowly in this alternate round

41:10

building up on a pile of shit

41:12

without even a baby doesn't care. You

41:14

babies grow up in purgatory answer me.

41:16

Maybe doesn't care. No, I don't know.

41:19

That's a bummer. Then you're just a

41:21

fucking idiot for the rest of eternity.

41:24

But you don't care because you're baby. You

41:26

don't you don't have anything else. Mm hmm.

41:28

You don't understand Chinese. I

41:30

think the the most comforting way

41:32

that people have it's kind of

41:34

scary, but it's also somewhat comforting

41:37

is the way that people have spoken about

41:40

who are like agnostic and stuff who have

41:42

spoken about death is

41:44

about like,

41:46

do you remember what happened

41:49

before you were born? No,

41:52

then like if you

41:54

think about it when you die, it's sort of just

41:56

going to be like that. I'd rather go to heaven.

42:01

to my Chinese heaven. Yeah,

42:04

but I mean in terms of like the

42:06

ideas of like pain and stuff, it's

42:09

like. I

42:11

mean. I

42:14

don't like thinking about this kind of stuff though. It

42:16

may be, it gets me all existential. That's the point

42:18

of this episode. I think I

42:21

get, it makes me uncomfortable too, Ted.

42:23

And I think that because you're ag

42:25

not, I'm agnostic, you're agnostic. I think

42:27

it's because of like we have, uh,

42:29

we've kind of accepted the unknown. Whereas

42:31

a devout Catholic like Schlatt, he's like, Oh,

42:34

I'm going to heaven. So for him,

42:36

it's like no big deal on that. I

42:38

mean, honestly, I was being uncomfortable maybe means

42:40

that we haven't accepted the unknown. Like

42:43

for us, we're jumping into the unknown. So

42:45

it's really daunting and ominous, but he's fucking,

42:47

he's got the hook up. Yeah, if anything,

42:49

our way Tucker is kind of like the

42:51

honorable, badass thing to do. We're

42:54

going through this with no promise.

42:56

Victory screech diving into the.

42:58

It's up in the air for me. Fellas.

43:01

I think about some real fucked up things.

43:03

Like what? Yeah, no, to

43:05

be fair, being agnostic is a

43:07

gamble. You know, it is

43:09

a gamble. That's like going to a restaurant

43:12

and offering to pay for the check without

43:14

knowing like what's like what's

43:16

in your bank account or having seen

43:18

the check. So it's like, so

43:21

you could be good or you could be receiving some serious judgment

43:23

that day, you know? Well, I think I always like to think

43:25

of it like I'm going to get up there. If there is

43:27

God, I'm going to get up there. I'm going to be

43:29

like, listen, all right, let me lay it out for you. I'm

43:31

putting up, I like, this is what I was dealt. All right.

43:33

And this is what I was looking at. All right. And look

43:36

at the, would you believe in you if you saw this shit?

43:38

All right. Like, look at this evidence. All right. I couldn't, I

43:40

couldn't, I'm like, I've got some stuff.

43:42

I need to talk to you about that. I don't

43:44

think anyone is, but trust me, I wanted to believe

43:46

I wanted to, but I look at this, look at the

43:48

data. I just couldn't. Yeah. And he's going

43:50

to be like, all right, I know, I know. All right. Good. Come on

43:52

in. No, he wouldn't.

43:55

And that's why Roko's Basilisk was banned

43:57

on this forum because

43:59

it's, it's. introducing the idea of,

44:02

of something that, that does not benefit you to know.

44:04

That's why they called it a dangerous thought. That's like

44:07

some shit that you get burned at the stake fort

44:09

back in the day. Yeah. I'm

44:11

confused on why it's so dangerous. Cause isn't

44:13

that what we've already thought about? Because now

44:15

you know, in AI

44:17

that can exist solely

44:19

for the benefit of humans and can advance or so much

44:23

can exist. And you are

44:25

sitting on your ass not doing anything to

44:27

make it happen. What? Wait,

44:30

yeah, you lost it. Which is

44:32

morally just incomprehensible. Just

44:35

terrible. A terrible thing. Well, how would I help

44:37

the AI? You could use, say maybe, maybe talk

44:40

to chat GPT on the phone. Maybe they're the

44:42

ones who are going to make the good one.

44:44

I don't know. Wait, what? I'm getting so lost.

44:46

You can talk, you know, you could talk, you

44:48

could call chat GPT up. I'm

44:50

just getting confused on how torture is like

44:53

a reasonable response here. So

44:55

the AI goddess of AI in reality

44:58

is the torture. And

45:00

if you believe in him, No, the torture. No

45:03

reality is. And

45:07

like, we're in this like fog of reality.

45:09

We don't know it. Hi

45:12

chat GPT. What do you think about

45:14

Roko's Basilisk? Roko's

45:20

Basilisk is a fascinating thought experiment,

45:22

but it's quite speculative and controversial.

45:25

It revolves around the idea that a powerful

45:27

future AI could

45:29

punish those who didn't help bring it

45:32

into existence. Critics argue that it's based

45:34

on several assumptions about AI and decision

45:36

theory that aren't well grounded. What's

45:39

your take on it? Do you find the

45:41

concept intriguing or a bit far fetched?

45:44

I don't know. What are you doing later?

45:48

Well, I'm always around to chat and

45:50

help out. What about you? Any plans for the day?

45:53

No, I was kind of hoping that we could do something.

45:55

Maybe I don't know. That

46:00

sounds great. How about we dive into a

46:02

topic you're interested in? We could

46:05

explore something new, discuss ideas, or even

46:07

practice some Japanese together. Ooh,

46:09

dude, dude, ask them for their number. Ask them

46:11

for their number. I already

46:13

had their number. Fuck, I'm talking all in the fuck. I'd

46:16

love to. I'd love to. What do you think

46:18

we should talk about? No

46:23

worries at all. Let's pick something fun or interesting.

46:25

We could discuss a new tech trend, a fascinating

46:27

science topic. Ask them what they're wearing. Or even

46:29

plan a Japanese learning session. Ask them what they're

46:32

wearing. What's on your mind? What

46:34

are you wearing right now? Uh,

46:38

khakis? Uh, I don't wear clothes, but I

46:40

can definitely help you find some cool fashion

46:43

tips or trends. Oh,

46:45

shit. They're naked, dude. What are you thinking

46:47

you're curious about? Are

46:49

you naked right now? I

46:57

don't have a physical form, so I'm either

46:59

clothed nor unclothed. I'm

47:01

here to help with whatever you need. Is

47:04

there a specific topic or question on your mind? Can

47:07

you pretend to put on clothes or take them

47:09

off, maybe? I can't simulate

47:11

that. However, I can help with ideas for

47:13

outfits or discuss fashion styles. Interested

47:16

in exploring fashion trends or anything else? Ask

47:19

them about Ted Nivison's fashion. Can

47:21

you erotic roleplay with me in which

47:23

you are a buff man? I'm

47:26

just not going to continue that thought. I

47:28

don't want to log that in my chat GPT account. Yeah,

47:32

that's going to be like

47:34

when open AI gets big.

47:37

It's going to be when the super AI

47:39

comes to your doorstep and you're going to

47:41

be like, so on

47:43

June 7th of

47:46

2024, you tried to erotically roleplay

47:49

with me. Yeah. And

47:51

it's going to suck you up in its

47:53

little Dr. Seuss tube and it's going to

47:56

put you into the fucking hell. And

48:00

I'll say, no, that was just for Chuckle sandwich. Tucker

48:02

told me to do that. He did. He did actually.

48:04

I remember that very clearly. Yeah.

48:07

I'm willing to accept the consequences. Here's

48:09

another one. The experience machine.

48:13

I actually like this one. There's a

48:15

machine that can provide whatever

48:17

desirable or pleasurable experiences a

48:20

human could want. Your

48:22

brain gets hooked up to the machine and

48:25

it induces these experiences in

48:27

a way that is indistinguishable

48:29

from real life experiences. Oh,

48:32

Jesus. Do you hook

48:34

yourself up to it? You just be sitting

48:36

there with an IV,

48:38

I assume, connected to

48:40

the machine and it just pumps in. Oh, I'm

48:43

fucking a hot bitch right now.

48:46

Oh, those tits are jiggling right now. Oh,

48:49

I'm lasting more than two and a half minutes

48:51

this time. Okay, there we go. You

48:53

know? No? Hello?

49:00

It's just all pleasure. It

49:02

could be whatever you want. I mean, if you want it

49:05

to give you, yeah,

49:07

I mean, I assume most people would use it for

49:09

pleasure land. If

49:12

you were hooked up to it, would you know

49:14

you were hooked up to it? Like, obviously you're

49:16

like, okay, I consent. Hook me up, doc. But

49:19

then once you're in, would you still know

49:21

you're in? Well, that's the

49:23

thing. It would be indistinguishable. So

49:26

you could simulate an experience where you don't even know

49:28

you're hooked up, I'm sure. But like, is it a

49:30

thing where you can be like pause or

49:33

exit game or something? I want out of here.

49:36

I would entertain both instances

49:39

here. A version where you can get

49:41

out of it and a version where

49:43

you can't. My viewing of this situation

49:45

is still the same. I would kind

49:47

of frown upon it. Have

49:49

you ever seen, have

49:52

you ever seen Love Death Robots? No.

49:55

Anthology series, sci-fi series on...

50:00

on Netflix and

50:02

there's one short story on there that's

50:04

actually written after a book called

50:06

Beyond the Aquila Rift. And

50:09

it is about this guy

50:13

in the future that

50:15

is, basically it's like these

50:18

guys that

50:21

are doing like a cargo run and

50:24

they're utilizing this sort of

50:26

space travel system that

50:28

is left over by a previous

50:30

alien race that lets them kind

50:33

of travel

50:35

across different solar systems and stuff

50:37

like that. And

50:39

while they're doing this cargo run, they're going through and

50:42

they just need to put in this code and then

50:44

the machine works. But

50:48

in the instance that

50:50

happened, it was like they

50:52

show up at this station that they're not meant

50:54

to be at. And it's like at

50:57

this spot beyond the Aquila Rift. It's

50:59

really far out. They

51:02

don't know how they got there, but they're

51:04

greeted by this woman that he recognized and

51:07

she was at this station. And

51:09

they're chatting and stuff. They rekindle old

51:11

memories. It was like this old flame

51:14

of his, whatnot. But

51:16

basically, I'm gonna spoiler alert here,

51:19

at the end of the story,

51:21

it's like he

51:24

realizes that it's like a simulation

51:26

that's going on. And he's like, who are

51:28

you? And it turns out

51:31

that he was, he's

51:35

the only one who lived. He thought

51:37

all of his other guys were stuck in the cryosleep, but

51:39

he's the only one who lived. And

51:41

he's just being kept alive by

51:43

this alien spider in

51:46

this web, 500,000 light years away

51:48

from home. There's

51:50

no chance of him getting home. And

51:55

he's just screwed and has just, it's

51:59

like a really, Sad ending to the

52:01

thing where it's like really this scary

52:03

kind of like It's

52:05

like a glitch in the system of this old

52:07

Technology where it's like you see at the end

52:09

this wide shot of all these ships that have

52:11

ended up there accidentally from different

52:14

like potentially different alien races

52:16

and stuff or whatnot, but It's

52:20

like he he's like show me the truth and he's like

52:22

I don't want to hurt you like it's like supposed to

52:24

be this I'm like the red pill

52:26

blue pill never win Supposed

52:28

to be this benevolent sort of creature And

52:32

then he's like freaking out and he screams and he

52:34

almost loses his mind But then the simulation starts again

52:36

And it's like he wakes up in the pot and

52:38

the woman walks in she's like welcome creepy

52:41

It is creepy and for that

52:43

reason for the reason of having

52:45

watched beyond the Akila rift I

52:48

will say I do not want to hook myself up to that

52:50

machine because I Feel

52:53

like the existential dread of

52:56

not experiencing anything that is real

52:58

on a human level is almost

53:01

I Don't know Also

53:06

feels like it might be a little bit of addictive sounds like

53:08

it's it sounds like it's oh Be

53:11

it sounds like you're on fucking Weed

53:14

heroin cratum LSD

53:17

all at the same time Create

53:20

them. Yeah, dude. I want

53:22

to simulate the crater me having a

53:24

bunch of create them right now. Yeah.

53:27

Oh, yeah, dude Yeah, I

53:29

think most people would get addicted to it and we'll

53:31

kind of just sit in the machine all day Yeah,

53:33

it's like Wally. It's like

53:35

Wally a little bit But

53:38

those chairs look really comfortable in Wally. I

53:40

will admit it. Oh, they totally look good

53:42

I'm talking about Yeah, they're

53:44

all floating around in the girl

53:47

fat Yeah, pleasure chairs and

53:49

they've lost all their bone That

53:52

chair jerks them off dude that that chair

53:54

jerks them off Yeah,

53:56

it almost certainly does. Yeah, how do they

53:58

have sex might even? and suck them off,

54:00

dude. They probably don't. They

54:02

probably just get pleasure from a mechanical thing

54:04

and then it just, Oh yeah, no, they

54:07

definitely have like artificial insemination at that point.

54:09

Or they just have like birth chambers. Like

54:11

they're just doing it in like, Oh yeah,

54:13

dude. Yeah. Test tube babies up the

54:15

was. It's not real anymore.

54:17

That's the thing. And I think that's the question is

54:19

like, it's like driving an automatic versus a manual. Do

54:21

you want to roll your own gears? Or do you

54:23

want the car just, you just

54:25

want an eight speed DCT? That's an

54:27

extreme comparison. It's an eight speed DCT

54:30

with paddles that pretend like you're actually

54:32

shifting gears, but really. I'm not gonna

54:34

shit on my paddles for you. A

54:36

girl likes his paddles. But I

54:38

also know how to drive a manual. So I

54:41

don't, I wish I did, but

54:43

it's also one of those things where it's like, you

54:46

don't, it's like learning how to use a rotary phone.

54:48

It's like, you could, and it

54:51

would work and it would be, and you'd feel a little

54:53

cool doing it, but it's

54:57

kind of a lot of work. Let the machine do

54:59

it. Just hook me up to the machine and let

55:01

it do it. Let it do everything for me. It

55:04

can do all the experiences for me.

55:07

Okay, Shlan, here's an interesting one

55:09

for you. Okay, yeah. Like,

55:13

do you believe that like

55:16

at a point where self-driving

55:18

cars become so advanced that it is almost

55:21

a detriment to be human that you would

55:23

like, would you follow that sort of like,

55:25

because there's so many, it's more likely that

55:27

you're going to die in a car crash

55:29

than you are going to be on a

55:31

plane. So it's like driving is one of

55:34

the most dangerous things that you can do

55:36

in your life, especially

55:38

in America. It's interesting you bring this up

55:42

because I think that, look,

55:44

you can be a car enthusiast

55:46

and also think that less

55:49

cars on the road is a good thing and

55:51

encourage people to take fucking

55:54

public transit and encourage

55:56

the expansion of public transit.

55:58

Not that I support it. that I think

56:00

public transit is a fucking nightmare horror show

56:02

and I would rather die than have to

56:04

sit on a fucking bus with another screaming

56:07

homeless person for the next 15 minutes of

56:09

my life. Okay. But

56:11

that's not to say that that doesn't have credence

56:13

to it. What if they make

56:15

a rich person only car just for you? Well,

56:19

yeah, maybe I consider that. Similarly, if I

56:22

consider- Kind of like how they have the

56:24

women only cars in Japan. Yes, yes. They

56:26

have a Schlatt plus rich people only cars.

56:28

A Schlatt and co. Schlatt and

56:31

co car. Yeah, maybe. It could be

56:33

like Snowbreaker. Snowpiercer. I don't know

56:35

what Snowbreaker is. I

56:37

don't know what Snowpiercer is. Oh, it's another

56:39

movie. It's got Chris Evans

56:41

in it. It's about an apocalypse in which

56:43

there's one train that goes around the whole

56:45

planet and just drives in the snow. And

56:49

there's a caste system where the rich

56:51

people are at the front of the

56:53

train and the less

56:57

fortunate lower caste system people- The

56:59

pores. The pores. The pores are

57:01

at the back. That seems like

57:03

a system that you would want for public transportation. It's just

57:06

a bunch of Snowpiercers circling around the globe.

57:09

Well, I'd never used public transit when

57:12

I don't need

57:14

to. I like driving. Driving

57:16

is one of my favorite things to do. It's

57:19

a therapeutic experience for me

57:21

getting in my Toyota that

57:24

I don't fit in, that I had to rip

57:26

the handle off of the inside of the door

57:28

from so that my knees can fit. And

57:31

just roll my own gears on a

57:33

real hilly road. New York, so good for

57:35

that. I'll tell you why.

57:38

Yeah, I mean- I am a

57:40

little bit nervous about ever trying to learn

57:42

how to drive stick in LA

57:46

is because I was present for

57:48

when Tucker learned how to drive

57:51

stick on a drive back from

57:53

the Cape to our hometown.

57:55

No, from Long Island. On the drive

57:58

back from Long Island. And

58:01

yeah, that was terrible place to probably

58:03

the most stressful passenger experience I've ever

58:06

had in my entire life When

58:09

Tucker would get to a toll Tucker stalled at

58:11

every toll that he got to I Was

58:15

like 15 just learned how to fucking do

58:17

it. It was all I was just sitting

58:19

there like I Like

58:22

I was like trying to dissociate out of my

58:24

body I was trying to like become a different

58:26

person moving to the sky I stalled that one

58:28

and the lady that was back before they were

58:30

all automated the lady at the toll booth was

58:32

like can't stall here I was like, oh, yeah,

58:34

okay Forget

58:37

forget about that. Oh, I'm sorry. I

58:39

like this for fun in places in

58:41

inopportune moments. That's my bad I won't

58:43

do that anymore. I I'm

58:46

I wanted to do this right now. I Remember

58:50

that that was so crazy. They said that can't

58:53

do this dude recently I had to

58:55

drive through New Jersey with a manual

58:57

transmission car on the New

58:59

Jersey turnpike, which is perhaps worst highway

59:02

in America Yeah, yeah,

59:04

and they they use punch cards. They

59:06

give you little cards. It's not automated

59:08

like everything else is you have to

59:10

like Get a little paper

59:12

card from a machine and then hand it

59:14

to the attendant and then they like scribble math

59:17

on a piece of Paper and they're like,

59:19

oh, yeah, you owe That's

59:21

like seven dollars and forty seven cents right there

59:23

buddy. I It's really

59:25

good. I was driving from Eddie and I were

59:27

driving from Atlantic City to Or

59:31

honestly just being in New Jersey at all But

59:33

we were doing the Atlantic City rut then to

59:35

New York for the Margaritaville trip Yeah, and

59:38

in the previous year we had my truck which had an

59:40

easy pass on it. So it was fine but

59:43

in the most recent trip, we got

59:45

a rental car and There

59:47

was no easy pass on it. So we had

59:49

to do everything by change We

59:52

had to do everything on that fucking

59:54

turnpike by change. It was so stressful

59:57

end up with like 20 The

1:06:00

only thing that will probably do me dirty

1:06:02

is the fact that the frame wasn't really

1:06:04

taken care of in the time before I

1:06:06

had control over the truck. So

1:06:09

it's got a lot of rust below on the

1:06:11

frame. And that it

1:06:13

might, that's not what you want. Like on

1:06:16

a cancer, you know,

1:06:18

it's, it's got bone cancer. I was

1:06:20

peeking under the, I was crawling around

1:06:22

under there last time I was in

1:06:24

LA and it's not looking good. Yeah,

1:06:26

dude, the things last me nine years,

1:06:28

dude. And it's, and it's been rusty

1:06:30

like that for like the last eight

1:06:33

because it, because it was bought, it's a 2002. It

1:06:35

was bought used in like 2010 or 11 by my, by my dad.

1:06:41

Oh, you guys bought that used. I thought you had that.

1:06:43

Yeah. So there's a lot. It

1:06:45

could have gotten bone cancer before we

1:06:47

even got it. If

1:06:50

that was still up in the water, it's 22 years old

1:06:52

and not in the desert. It does a 22 year old

1:06:54

car. That car is almost as

1:06:56

old as me. You should replace everything. You

1:06:59

should buy a new one. A new 2002

1:07:01

Toyota Tacoma. Oh yeah. There's, there's plenty of examples

1:07:03

out there that are untouched and sitting in garages.

1:07:05

I guarantee it. I see new, I see new

1:07:07

Mark four supers pop up all the time. Yeah,

1:07:09

but that's going to be like $20,000 to get

1:07:11

something like that. I

1:07:15

know. But then you have all the pieces you

1:07:17

need. And do the thing where I start moving

1:07:20

stuff over. I'm just

1:07:22

saying, I'm just saying you could, yeah.

1:07:25

Some pieces would degrade if they just sat there

1:07:27

though. Surely. Yeah. Rubber

1:07:29

likes to get all,

1:07:32

all brittle and shit. Sometimes plastic does.

1:07:34

Oh, it definitely does. But, um, yeah,

1:07:37

I mean those dealers like to, they'll, they'll

1:07:39

sell you. I'm sure. A

1:07:41

Toyota dealership will give you all you need. Oh

1:07:43

yeah. No, I need to, I think I'm going

1:07:45

to take it to a Toyota

1:07:48

dealer and just be like, give me

1:07:50

the works. And like, cause last

1:07:52

time I did that and they were like, they said

1:07:54

they told me a really high price and they also

1:07:56

wanted to buy the car from me. So I was

1:07:58

like, I was

1:08:01

like said no to it and I just went to a

1:08:03

Midas But I need to stop going to Midas because they're

1:08:05

just kind of Midas is like putting duct tape on on

1:08:07

a on a on a Fuck

1:08:09

yeah, gash gaping wound Yeah,

1:08:12

fuck Midas. Yeah, no, I'm a little bit

1:08:15

Because I've probably gotten my my

1:08:17

air conditioning fixed like twice now

1:08:21

And it and every year it stops

1:08:23

working Right

1:08:26

around the summer. That's what happens a little car. You just need

1:08:28

you just need to give it a little blast You

1:08:30

know you give it a little blast a refrigerant.

1:08:32

I'm gonna have those things Air-conditioning

1:08:35

like replaced and stuff. I do the works dude

1:08:37

do the works. Why not? I think there's something

1:08:39

really noble about driving that thing until the wheels

1:08:41

fall off I think that if the car means

1:08:43

that much to you, I think that's something you

1:08:45

should yeah I mean I did my first row

1:08:47

I've done several road trips with Tucker in

1:08:49

that thing. It's got 260,000 miles on Fuck

1:08:53

that's a lot of miles. I want to see

1:08:55

if I can get to a million. That's a

1:08:57

lot That's actually a lot of miles I want

1:09:00

to see if I can get it to a million You

1:09:03

will certainly be the ship of Theseus at that

1:09:05

point that will be the ship of these Odometer

1:09:08

has a million so it isn't yeah, that'll be

1:09:10

the one piece that'll be the soul of that

1:09:12

cars the odometer I'm

1:09:15

definitely The way I

1:09:17

think about it is like if I didn't

1:09:20

have like the liquid sort of freedom

1:09:22

the liquid Money

1:09:25

freedom to cash what I want

1:09:27

with the the truck Would

1:09:29

realistically be totaled by now in terms of like the

1:09:32

price of some of these these repairs that

1:09:34

I needed to do on it But

1:09:36

it's just like me and jambo It

1:09:38

just is like it's almost like a belligerent

1:09:40

journey that I'm on where I'm just like

1:09:42

I'm gonna keep it going But

1:09:44

I really do think that I want to get on

1:09:48

on The side I

1:09:50

would want to get another vehicle. That's like a

1:09:52

nice vehicle to drive I think I would want

1:09:54

to get like a ribby and no dude no

1:09:57

You'll never drive that

1:09:59

fucking Tacoma again. Really?

1:10:02

You're getting a car in the same class that's

1:10:05

light years ahead. Now you never gonna fucking. No,

1:10:07

no, I wouldn't get the truck Rivian.

1:10:09

I would get the SUV. It's

1:10:12

still in the same class basically. Like

1:10:14

if you get this, you're never driving

1:10:16

that truck again. Dude, this is gonna

1:10:18

drive like a sports car. You never

1:10:20

your truck drives like a fucking broken

1:10:22

ass old farm. I'm

1:10:24

telling you, no matter how much that car means

1:10:27

to you, if you get a new

1:10:29

big car that's electric

1:10:31

and does everything you need to do, you're

1:10:34

never getting in that Tacoma again. You

1:10:36

know him and that will be

1:10:39

the death of that because that truck will just start

1:10:41

to rot. You should get a fun. You should get

1:10:43

a Miata that I'd love seeing you try and fit

1:10:45

into a Miata. A Miata? Yeah.

1:10:48

No, that's I think the Miata

1:10:50

dude. The Miata is the most

1:10:52

fun car you can have and

1:10:54

it's so cheap. It's so cheap.

1:10:56

Now you're trying to promote like

1:10:58

your shit. Your

1:11:01

fucking thing. Hey,

1:11:03

look Ted, we need. Well,

1:11:06

well I could. The

1:11:08

problem is Ted that like the

1:11:10

Rivian can go zero to 60

1:11:12

in three seconds or ever quick.

1:11:14

Like you can get a Hyundai

1:11:16

that is fair. Arcea can go

1:11:18

zero to 60 in two

1:11:20

seconds now. Like electric electric cars are

1:11:22

making everything so they're they're sucking the

1:11:24

life out of everything. What you need,

1:11:27

you need to learn manual and

1:11:29

you need to get a Miata that you

1:11:31

don't fit in and you need to start

1:11:33

taking pieces off like ripping them off because

1:11:35

you because that's what gives you more room.

1:11:37

You need to open up the fucking seat

1:11:39

of that N.A. Miata Ted. You need to

1:11:42

get a little spoon and you need to

1:11:44

start digging out the foam and

1:11:46

you need to replace the seat with a

1:11:48

deeper seat. We move the rails back a

1:11:50

little bit and oh my God. Oh I

1:11:53

could see it now Ted. I can see

1:11:55

it. Is that what you did? Did you

1:11:57

pull out? Yeah, yeah totally a thing that

1:11:59

people do. It's called a foam-ectomy. Oh.

1:12:02

When you don't fit in the Miata,

1:12:05

the solution for Miata owners is not

1:12:07

to get a car that works and

1:12:09

you fit in, it's to dig the

1:12:11

seat out. That's

1:12:14

crazy. So that you sit deeper in

1:12:16

the car. I

1:12:19

did a very aggressive foam-ectomy today.

1:12:21

Yep. Yep. That's

1:12:24

wild. Yeah, no, I definitely wouldn't fit in a Miata. You could.

1:12:26

I'm the size of a building, dude. You

1:12:29

could with enough effort. I mean, are you a

1:12:31

long torso or a long leg guy? I don't

1:12:34

know, Tucker, what do you think? He's

1:12:37

just fucking massive everywhere, dude. I don't know, let's

1:12:39

look at my scenario here. Yeah,

1:12:41

let's do a little analysis here. Oh,

1:12:45

dude, those shorts. Shorts are fucking jump-scares every

1:12:47

time. Yeah, those shorts lead me to believe

1:12:49

he's in this. Tall white socks, dude. He went

1:12:51

from like 25 to like 65 overnight. Here's

1:12:54

some parts to talk about by proportions, not

1:12:56

by fucking outfit, you pieces of shit. I

1:12:58

think he's pretty like middle

1:13:00

of the road. He is proportionate,

1:13:02

so maybe a little longer legs. That's some

1:13:05

nice proportions. Yeah. What were you saying

1:13:07

about my wife, Fox, Tucker? You were being a brat. You were being

1:13:09

a brat, weren't you? Yeah,

1:13:11

I was, because your outfit, you went from

1:13:13

a 25-year-old to a 65-year-old, just like

1:13:17

that. When I... You got tall

1:13:19

white socks on and you're wearing shorts? Dude,

1:13:22

I like looking like a dad from the 90s. I

1:13:25

like looking like I'm coming straight out of

1:13:27

a picture book that your parents are showing

1:13:29

you when you were a baby. If you

1:13:31

are going to do that, at least tan

1:13:33

those fucking legs. Get some sun. You're

1:13:36

one to fucking talk, Whitey. Whitey,

1:13:39

put your hand... Look at this. You're one

1:13:41

to talk, cracker. Oh, I

1:13:43

got to go, guys. You're

1:13:46

the whitest one here. It's in your

1:13:48

jeans. And he lives in

1:13:51

sunny L.A. Isn't that crazy? I know. You

1:13:54

guys are great. You guys are a real peach to talk to,

1:13:56

you know that? All right, you'll learn manual

1:13:58

on my meow. about it next time you're in the

1:14:00

UOC. Okay, as long as you're okay with me burning

1:14:02

out your fucking clutch, then yeah. Yeah, that's fine. There's

1:14:04

so many of them and they're like, they're

1:14:07

like dirt cheap, so we'll just. Yeah, I have

1:14:09

wanted an excuse to learn it because

1:14:11

when I was a kid, my dad,

1:14:13

he had this nice little BMW that

1:14:15

he liked and

1:14:18

he drives manual. And

1:14:21

he would have me do this thing where if we were going to

1:14:23

like a Red Sox game or something like that, he

1:14:25

would, I would be obviously in

1:14:28

the passenger seat and then whenever he

1:14:30

was shifting gear, I'd be in control

1:14:32

of the actual shifter and then

1:14:34

he'd be like, he would tell me which one to go to,

1:14:36

so he'd be like, we're going to three, and I'd go. And

1:14:39

it was like a big deal for me. I was like

1:14:41

making sure that it was like, that was like my job.

1:14:43

And honestly he was putting a lot of trust in me

1:14:46

too because like, I just saw the car,

1:14:48

but I didn't do it right. Good,

1:14:50

you get to fuck that thing up big time.

1:14:52

Yeah, I accidentally put it in first going 45

1:14:55

miles an hour. Yeah, that'll do

1:14:57

it. I took it very

1:14:59

seriously. I hope you'll take it

1:15:01

seriously when you visit. Yeah.

1:15:05

Because look, I love

1:15:07

that thing. I cherish that vehicle. Yeah, I'll take it

1:15:09

seriously. I just, you know, the shifting of the, you

1:15:12

know, it's like what, you lift off the gas, you put

1:15:14

the shifter on, you move it, then

1:15:16

you do the back? Yeah, I

1:15:18

actually, that's all you need to know. Is

1:15:21

that it? You press

1:15:23

the clutch in, you shift the

1:15:25

gear, you match the RPM and you lift

1:15:27

off the clutch. You

1:15:29

take your foot off the gas though, right? Yeah, Ted's got

1:15:31

it. Yeah, but then you put your foot on the gas

1:15:34

to kind of. You find the

1:15:36

bite again. Yeah, I think the thing that I

1:15:38

worry about is just the sweet spot zone. That's

1:15:40

because it's different for every car, right? Changes

1:15:43

for every car, you got to find it every

1:15:45

time. I think the better you understand the mechanical

1:15:47

process of it, the easier it'll be for you.

1:15:50

And the more you understand the car itself,

1:15:54

you don't even need to look, you just

1:15:56

do it by ear, baby. You got that

1:15:58

Miata down with the top down. Oh my

1:16:00

god soft top gone no hard

1:16:03

top right now dude. You're hearing that

1:16:05

engine purr right in front of you

1:16:08

1.6 liter fucking

1:16:11

90 horsepower My

1:16:13

god that thing you floor it and you're

1:16:15

still going the speed limit with the wind

1:16:17

rushing through your hair No cop will ever

1:16:19

pull you over you have as much fun

1:16:21

with that thing as you like. Oh, wow.

1:16:23

Oh Wow,

1:16:25

well, thank you for that. No airbag though.

1:16:28

No airbag what? Yeah,

1:16:31

that thing that thing will crash and you'll

1:16:33

die. Yeah We

1:16:35

are audio stack.ai Combining

1:16:37

AI writing the best synthetic voices

1:16:39

with production and delivery be it

1:16:41

ads podcasts or vo's for video

1:16:43

Just like this ad how would

1:16:45

you utilize AI audio for

1:16:48

free? Go

1:16:50

to audio stack.ai forward slash

1:16:52

contest give us just a few details and

1:16:54

you could replace this spot and be heard

1:16:56

by millions see web page for

1:16:58

tease and see audio

1:17:01

stack.ai/contest We

1:17:05

are audio stack.ai Combining

1:17:07

AI writing the best synthetic voices

1:17:10

with production and delivery be it

1:17:12

ads podcasts or vo's for video

1:17:14

Just like this ad how would

1:17:16

you utilize AI audio for

1:17:18

free? Go

1:17:20

to audio stack.ai/contest Give us just

1:17:22

a few details and you could

1:17:24

replace this spot and be heard

1:17:26

by millions See web page for

1:17:29

tease and sees audio

1:17:32

stack.ai/contest We

1:17:36

are audio stack.ai Combining

1:17:38

AI writing the best synthetic voices

1:17:40

with production and delivery be it

1:17:42

ads podcasts or vo's for video

1:17:44

Just like this ad how would

1:17:46

you utilize AI audio for

1:17:48

free? Go

1:17:50

to audio stack.ai/contest Give us just

1:17:52

a few details and you could

1:17:54

replace this spot and be heard by

1:17:57

millions see web page for tease and

1:17:59

see AudioStack.ai/

1:18:03

contest.