0:00

Hey guys, I don't know if you're like me,

0:02

but I love Count the Dings and everything it

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has to offer. I just can't find everything I

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need. You know, I know about Cinephobe and I

0:09

know about the mailbag and I know about Mom.

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That's all we do, right? I mean, no, we

0:13

do so much more. What? Yeah,

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absolutely. If you sign up

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patreon.com/count the things, you'll find

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a plethora of other content,

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fresh content, extended content, the

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and made their own thing

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to live only there. The

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re-Watchingtons, bomb and it's full

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and unadulterated cut early drops of Cinephobe episodes

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and so much more. Is that the OG

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pod now? Is it new or is it

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old? Mason, glad you asked that. It

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is a new incarnation of the

0:46

old OG pod. It's

0:49

me, Zach, Trey, Woz, Tom. I

0:51

love those guys. Just like we

0:53

always were going back to the

0:55

true loop days, we're recreating that

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magic, recapturing and putting it back

0:59

out. We're talking hoops. We're talking

1:01

pop culture. And most importantly,

1:03

we're talking for 40 minutes for free. But

1:07

then another specific, each on exclusive segment for

1:09

every one of those episodes. Funny enough about

1:11

that OG pod, you're getting Tom and Trey

1:13

on Mondays. You're getting me and Woz, AKA

1:15

Zosny on Wednesdays. I mean, it's floating in

1:18

between. I'm a floater. You never know when

1:20

you're going to get a mean in those.

1:22

So you got to listen to them all.

1:24

And what if I'm not sure what maze

1:27

looks like? Cause I've always thought he's a

1:29

fat man with a fedora. He's got

1:31

a weird voice. How can I

1:33

see for myself what this maze

1:35

character actually looks like? It's crazy.

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You don't know the answer to this because

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it's the Cinephobe pod YouTube page. What the

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CT fives on the Cinephobe pod YouTube page.

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You can look at all of us. You

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too at count the dings

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on YouTube, patreon.com/count. The dings gets

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you everything all in one feed.

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You can link it to your spot. and now

2:01

enjoy the show. Am

2:30

I the jerk is a show where we talk about real stories like My

2:38

stepdad found out that I have a

2:40

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far I took my revenge or you

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might even see a story like this

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either way subscribe to am I the jerk

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right now before you forget We'd love to

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be a part of your daily routine new

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episodes every day am I the jerk? Okay,

3:35

what do all these funny people

3:37

have in common Cecily strong Jason

3:39

manzuchus Duncan trussle Paul shear Scott

3:42

ockerman Beth Stelling Tom Papa Lauren

3:44

lap kiss Louie Anderson Lisa Gilroy

3:46

Paul F Tompkins and Sir Patrick

3:48

Stewart They've all played characters

3:51

on the hit comedy podcast mega and improvised

3:53

satire from the staff of a fictional mega

3:55

church The next time you're in the mood

3:57

for some laughs great guests out of this

3:59

world improv and cultural commentary? We're here

4:02

for you, baby. Listen to Mega anywhere

4:04

you listen to podcasts. Hi

4:06

folks, let me see if I can

4:08

sum up Midnight Burger in about 25 seconds. Really

4:12

big monster? Zero irony. Pardon me,

4:14

Gloria. Might my husband and I

4:16

have a word? The radio is

4:18

talking to me. So this is how it ends? Eaten

4:20

by wolves in space. There's a pocket

4:22

dimension in the deep breeze. This

4:24

is the stupidest dystopia we've ever been

4:26

to. What the hell is that? Because

4:29

you're having a cigarette in 415 million BC? Where

4:34

are we? Space? Can

4:36

you narrow that down? The bad part? Ava.

4:38

Yeah, that didn't work at all. At

4:40

the nexus of all things, there is a diner. Look

4:43

for Midnight Burger on your favorite podcasting

4:46

app or just go to weopenatsix.com. Previously

4:58

on Cinephobe. While airheads never quite delivers

5:00

on its clever premise, it definitely could

5:02

have been a lot worse. Not really

5:04

a positive. Is the premise clever? No.

5:08

Take dog day afternoon, for example. Yeah. Somebody

5:10

got me a brished knuckle. Colin

5:12

brushed nickel. Colander brished a

5:14

brick knuckle. You got you a bris a

5:17

breath. We're going to start this episode over.

5:19

Let's all give me a knuckle breasts inside

5:21

a colander. A knuckle. Briss

5:23

is tougher than you think it is. That

5:25

is a thoughtful gift. What's it called? Swimshirt

5:28

tea club or what is it? What is

5:30

it? It's swimshirt tea club. Low tea swimmers

5:32

club. It's scrimshaw beach club. Well, we ain't.

5:35

We're planning to go clear with clear

5:37

and brown with brown. I'm sorry, but

5:39

I'm a strict alcohol

5:46

segregationist. I am an alcohol segregationist.

5:49

What do you think? You better

5:51

than me. Zach. Now to be

5:53

clear, your plane is still

5:55

on the tarmac. Plot liftoff

5:57

has not occurred yet. What? And

6:00

we're taxing. We haven't lifted

6:03

off yet. We're in line. How long of a

6:05

flight is this for you? About 30 hours. Wow.

6:07

It's a Delta though. So you can watch the

6:09

movie. Yeah. So I'm going to watch this movie.

6:11

Then we'll figure out what it actually lifted

6:13

off. It's a cosmic mix of the action

6:16

of the died genius combined with the exploitation

6:18

films of the seventies, but with

6:20

modern touches, it's hyper violence, but

6:22

it knows that it is. It's a

6:24

little bit Tarantino. It's definitely a little

6:26

bit Michael bad. It's kind of a

6:28

cosmic gumbo. It

6:31

almost goes to the beat of jazz. White

7:02

people are genetically inferior or

7:04

they're culturally crippled or they're socially deprived.

7:06

How come God couldn't make everyone one

7:08

color? Like 10. I

7:11

wish I'd fucked a black broad

7:13

before I got married. I could

7:15

really feel 400 years of

7:17

oppression and anger and every

7:19

pelvic thrust. I

7:22

can smell horny across an ocean. Not

7:24

all women. Good for you, man. Good

7:27

for you. Good for you. Just

7:29

the hot ones. Hello Oprah. You're not

7:31

allowed to go down on me for one month. No,

7:33

Judy. Please make me take away

7:35

your masturbation privileges. Yeah, I'm horny too baby.

7:37

Hey, chow men. Come on down here. We

7:40

don't want to exercise my dominance. Scaring. I'm getting

7:42

a patriarch at urge. Don't

8:00

mind me, just keep doing what you're doing. We're

8:02

a team, we work together. I don't know if

8:04

you were paying attention. I was. Please,

8:06

god damn it! Just one more drink!

8:09

I'll call your tits with a knife, you

8:11

bitch! Five whiskeys. That's breakfast

8:13

in the river. Yo, you have to

8:15

clip it, Mays. Clip what? A fucking

8:17

tiger? What are you talking about? It's

8:19

not that hard, just chop, chop, boom,

8:21

out. Wow, Mays has a really hard

8:23

job. This is gonna be the worst

8:25

episode we've ever done. My people don't

8:27

give a ding dong diddly about what

8:29

flag fly over why. You bore me,

8:31

purey. Where is

8:34

the Mikwafil? He's nothing but a

8:36

bag of meat. And

8:38

a flesh. And

8:40

tambourine. Why didn't they just name him Spaghetti

8:43

lasagna? Fuck, this movie's two hours long?

8:45

I'm a fucking dang! This is

8:47

like the John Gruden emails of movies. Do you

8:49

like ducks? Or a trench coat full of bees

8:51

flying around? Like, that would scare me. Bees? Bees

8:54

are cool. That's a duck, man! No, I

8:56

get it. Coolio? I

8:59

didn't lie, Annie. I just didn't

9:01

tell you certain things. Don't play no

9:03

reindeer games with me. And a Merger

9:05

Cannon ninja? What are you talking about?

9:07

There's no such thing. Look

9:09

out for number one. Set

9:13

your sights on the stars and

9:16

the sun. Look

9:18

out for number one. You

9:20

gotta push a little harder. Push

9:23

a little harder, yeah. You've gotten

9:25

rich off of the people in

9:27

this town. Dang. You

9:30

bet your ass I have. And I'm gonna

9:32

get richer. Coglin's law. Going through incredibly descriptive

9:35

details of the story, so we all know.

9:37

Oh, man. I wish I had better notes.

9:39

Have you ever had such a pail of

9:41

shape? Once I get a DVD player, I'm

9:43

gonna watch Galah Walker's once a day. Come

9:46

here and give me a squudge. You know

9:48

what to do from here, internet. All right,

9:50

cool. Let me Google how to open QuickTime.

9:52

Justice is blind. It's got space dementia. But

9:54

it can be hurt. Time to find out

9:57

exactly what this ooze.

9:59

can do. Pull the fucking rabbit out of

10:01

your dick and folk. I'm Temecula's newest hard

10:03

on, dawg. Hey look here, why don't we

10:05

eat us a few thousand beers and you

10:07

can tell me what's buzzing in the big

10:09

fat city. Coming right here! Yeah!

10:14

Enough! It's

10:18

not funny

10:20

anymore. Fuck

10:23

you, fuck you, fuck you.

10:25

You're cool. And fuck

10:36

you, I'm out.

10:56

They run and Parker says it's the

10:58

inbreeding. Hello. They run out the back

11:00

door, see a cop car by the

11:02

van and freak out. They send Pip

11:04

out there, see if it's just cops

11:06

maybe on patrol. It's officer Alan covert,

11:08

whichever direction Pip goes. Alan covert also

11:10

goes red light, green light, mirror walking,

11:12

improv exercise situation. He starts doing this

11:14

dumbass Adam Sandler motion thing. And then

11:16

the cop grabs his gun. Look, Zach,

11:18

I'm gonna tell you right now, he

11:21

came dangerously close to a phone in

11:23

that moment. Oh, I figured Pip runs

11:25

back in the door. He doesn't want

11:27

to go to jail. He's fragile. They

11:29

go to another entrance. They're

11:32

back in the building. Another one. Pip says, go

11:34

out there. Say they were joking. They're arguing in

11:36

front of the receptionist. Chaz shuts them up. She

11:39

says, excuse me. They point their guns at her.

11:41

She puts her hands up with the game gear.

11:44

Chaz says round everybody up, put them in

11:46

the station, figure it out. Ladies and gentlemen,

11:48

at this time we ask you to make

11:50

sure your trade tables are in their upright

11:52

and locked position. All carry on items

11:54

are stowed in the overhead compartment or under your

11:56

seats because we have plot. that's

12:14

plot liftoff. And that's because David Arquette

12:16

is introduced right now. That's why the

12:18

plot is lifted off. Exactly. That's the

12:20

important part of this movie. It doesn't

12:22

start till the Arquette. You're not cat

12:24

traditional movie. Doesn't start till David Arquette's

12:26

there. That's what I've always said. I've

12:29

always been consistent on the bleach blonde

12:31

Arquette on the phone. What was she

12:33

on the quad still scale? No, that's

12:35

a drop. How many cars do it

12:37

take to tear off her face? Look

12:39

at his stupid face. So for you,

12:42

the movie truly doesn't start until it's

12:44

second act. Correct. Okay. All right. They

12:46

haven't held anyone hostage yet, right? They're

12:48

just there. They pulled the guns out.

12:50

What are you talking about? Once you

12:52

round people up, you've got hostages. Now

12:55

that's what I call kidnapping volume 30.

12:57

Your honor. I implore you to consider

12:59

the case of airheads, Brendan Fraser versus

13:01

the lone Rangers versus the state of

13:03

California. This is David Arquette doing a

13:05

Spicoli voice. Lewis Pinock lock

13:08

it up. They take him by the

13:10

neck cut to Judd and his secretary.

13:12

I knew from looking at him, he

13:14

was a bomb about to go up

13:16

a big fat media bomb. They're going

13:18

to be all over the news. Now

13:20

time magazine, Larry King live. I can't

13:22

believe we didn't get a USA today.

13:24

Shout out. If the songs in English,

13:26

it's a gold record. At least this

13:28

fucking chin here. It's so bad. This

13:30

is where you can really see it.

13:32

Oh yeah. It is like a young

13:34

NBA player trying to have facial hair.

13:36

The only thing even close is

13:38

the swordfish John Travolta fruit

13:40

roll up strip. Yes. But even

13:42

that is not as Brillo

13:44

Patty. I think they're trying to make this look

13:47

fake. Oh, it is severely

13:49

pubic. And what's the worst facial hair

13:51

you've ever had? Oh, that

13:53

you kept for a while. I had

13:56

a pretty gnarly beard in

13:58

college. I can't imagine you with a beard.

14:00

Neck beard. My mustache for my beard did

14:02

not connect yet. I grew the

14:04

mustache too, but it was a big gross beard. But

14:08

the worst is probably like in high school,

14:10

heavy side burns. Oh, okay. Really

14:12

ugly, heavy sideburns. I definitely did just the

14:14

chin hair. No. For way too long. It

14:16

was a bad luck. It was like the

14:18

Yankees at the Oakley store. You had to

14:20

have that facial hair in order to work

14:23

there. Exactly. Yeah. They wouldn't have hired me

14:25

without it. That was your resume. You put

14:27

on the pinstripes and you grow the ugly

14:29

chin beard. Now I can't imagine myself without

14:31

a beard. I was shaved into a mustache

14:33

recently. What? Yeah. I'd love

14:36

to see that. Maybe someday you will.

14:38

It'll drag on song. Give me 10

14:40

minutes. I'll be right back. Drag on

14:42

song on here. All right. They're rounding

14:45

everybody up. This girl is

14:47

definitely into pip flirting during a hostage round

14:49

up. Carter suggests that they pop Milo first.

14:51

That guy's a bozo to Lux. You've got

14:53

Kramer, do a little Bruce Willis diehard action

14:56

up in the duct. He's up there for

14:58

so long. He almost falls through lights and

15:00

sleeve on fire. They've got everybody in the

15:02

conference room, everybody on the floor girl asked

15:05

if she can sit in a chair because

15:07

she doesn't want to get all cruddy. 20

15:09

CB says, okay. Milo doesn't want to

15:11

sit on the floor. Then Chas says, everyone gets

15:13

to sit in a chair except for Milo. Like that.

15:15

Chas wonders if they're still on the air. White's

15:18

still on cops. Iron pulls up to

15:20

K P P X covert jogs over

15:22

to Ernie Hudson, Chris Farley slides into

15:25

the frame as well. Got to establish

15:27

eye contact. Make sure it's not a

15:29

false alarm. I know the procedure. Our

15:31

cat wants some food. Chas wonder why

15:33

everyone's staring at him. He's just trying

15:35

to think phone rings. Chas has Ian

15:37

answer it. It's the cops. Oh

15:40

shit. It's the cops. Three psychotic musicians

15:42

in here with guns. Chas doesn't want

15:44

to talk. He's nervous. He's starting to

15:46

crumble under the pressure of this whole

15:48

hostage situation that they've made up on

15:50

the fly. He doesn't have demands to

15:52

release the hostages. Pip needs more exposition.

15:54

And Ian says, I've got

15:56

a reality check for you curly. What you're doing

15:58

is a felony. Maybe worse. Do you

16:00

think that you would be real worried in a

16:03

hostage situation? Who am I the hostage? Yeah. Yes

16:05

Well either one yes, and yes, okay. I think

16:07

yes across the board. Maybe it would depend on

16:09

where I am in life I'm generally not worried

16:12

about it. Yeah, I don't think I would be

16:14

that worried The only reason I'm worried is because

16:16

I feel like as a tall man they would

16:18

use me to make an example Oh you get

16:20

killed first. Yeah, this is also my concern. Yeah,

16:23

you're taller than me. So you'd go first Thank

16:25

God for that. They'd probably hit me on the

16:27

way in Absolutely. Yeah You

16:30

would definitely get a gun butt to the back of the head at

16:32

some point 100% by accident

16:35

when they shoot up into the air to get everyone's attention. It

16:37

would hit me. He's right in the forehead Nope,

16:41

that's actually right in my chin Even

16:44

in an inside man situation that make you take

16:46

your clothes off that would be embarrassing You know,

16:48

I would actually prefer that though cuz I just

16:50

want to be free if I would be held

16:52

hostage. Let's air it out Yeah, I wouldn't mind

16:54

that you mean free ball and not like free

16:56

to yeah go about your business No,

16:58

but now I feel like I'm at home, you know,

17:00

I can take my pants off and fucking take

17:02

them You can keep them in that inside man

17:04

situation. Do you think if you got a boner

17:06

they would finish you off with that? Help there

17:08

hurt your situation. This isn't a mean question 100%

17:11

he needs to return I

17:15

don't know what he's doing and to give you an

17:17

idea Amin has said previously

17:19

multiple times that he thinks he

17:21

can get through solitary confinement by

17:23

jacking it Constantly even past the

17:25

time but masturbating as many times as possible

17:27

I feel like you would run out of

17:30

your imagination if you're gonna keep it going

17:32

at some point You do need some performance

17:34

enhancing image a little bit. You need something,

17:36

right? There's only so much in the

17:38

rolodex, but who knows what lurks in the hearts

17:40

of men, especially that one Is that a track

17:42

from the Oz? Dazzling

17:47

corrupt we get a modification on our

17:49

favorite formulas act because Susie is talking

17:52

to pip She says I like your

17:54

hair. What's that? My name Susie with

17:56

two Z's. Yeah, no connection to what

17:58

she's talking about terrible

18:00

flirting. She answers phones. What a drag, huh?

18:03

I do refer to her as Susie with

18:05

two Z's the rest of my notes because

18:07

I love that character building Marcus and Yvonne

18:09

are extremely uncomfortable with this white flirting going

18:12

on Rex gets excited because he thinks that

18:14

she's talking to him and then

18:16

once he realizes she's talking to

18:18

pip he is crestfallen. Shemi is

18:20

so ass off man. He's absolutely

18:22

devastated because it's happened before because

18:24

I don't know if we mentioned

18:26

this but we did get the

18:29

exposition. They're brothers. What

18:31

are they? Yeah, I miss that. I've seen

18:33

this movie a thousand times and I've never

18:35

put together their brothers. It's because they look

18:37

so alike. I can understand why you'd be

18:39

confused. But when there's slap fighting in front

18:41

of the station, Frazier comes

18:43

over and loudly says, Hey, Hey, you

18:45

guys are brothers. So, Oh,

18:48

I thought he's meant like your bros like in

18:50

the band. Yeah. I think they're actually supposed to

18:52

be brothers. That kind of makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.

18:54

Marcus drops his head to the table with all

18:57

this. As you said, yeah. Ian tells Chaz is

18:59

getting out of hand. Wants to

19:01

move this thing along. He came here

19:03

for a lousy three minutes and 41

19:05

seconds of airplay holding people hostage. Tape

19:08

is destroyed. Only one thing to do.

19:10

Get the other copy of the demo.

19:12

Great realization point and smile by Frazier

19:14

as he completely ignores all of the

19:17

stop signs that Ian is trying to

19:19

put up for him to Kayla driving,

19:21

listening to the demo tape, realizing it

19:23

is that song scene bastard. And she

19:26

throws it out onto sunset strip. This

19:29

was a wild diversion of the

19:31

plot to keep coming back to check in on

19:33

the tape. That's how you get to 90 minutes

19:35

though. Hey, what's the tape doing? That's that's all

19:37

that jazz is listening to his own QC couples

19:41

answering machine. Oh, when

19:44

did we stop making answering machine messages?

19:46

Cause I haven't had one in a

19:48

decade. I feel like probably what like nine

19:50

11, nine 11 was nine 11 that

19:52

day. We'll see in on this podcast.

19:54

That's when the 21st century really began

19:56

on nine 11. Yeah. I think

19:58

that's true. Yeah. We don't. put it at January 1st, 2000

20:00

it's 9 11 for you. The 21st century was 9 11 to January six.

20:05

And then after that is the brave new world,

20:07

right? World war nine. That's what Aaron

20:10

Rogers and I like to call the after

20:12

times. The after times. Yeah. I call them

20:14

the before times. Wait until you see, wait

20:16

until you see what the after times is.

20:18

I don't think I ever had a funny

20:20

message. I did have a ringback tone in

20:22

the early 2000s. Oh man.

20:24

I don't like those. You called me and then you heard,

20:26

what was it? I couldn't tell you, but I bet it

20:29

was dammit by blink one 82. Yeah. I don't want to

20:31

guarantee it was dammit by blink one 82. Ernie

20:33

tells Farley to control the crowd. If they

20:36

look at him wrong, cuff him, throw him

20:38

in the squad car. Technically I can't do

20:40

that. Sergeant the civilian review. I know what

20:42

civilian review committee says, but they're not out

20:45

here doing crowd control. Are they the line

20:47

of fire? Do what's necessary to get the

20:49

job done. Don't break the law, but occasionally

20:51

you bend it. Very LAPD. Every cop watching

20:54

this movie, just applaud. Finally somebody gets it.

20:56

Yes. They stood up. Yeah. Also a future

20:58

callback. Cause he says the time comes son

21:00

you improvise. Chaz walks out the door. He

21:03

says for PIP to cover him. People are

21:05

cheering as he walks out there. The cops

21:07

swarm him with guns. Tell him to get

21:09

down. Farley tells Ernie and he interrupts, tells

21:12

the cops to get back. Chaz is pissed.

21:15

Flips out. He wants the cops to find

21:17

his demo tape hits Ernie with an X

21:19

day. So we got some pig Latin tells

21:22

me to go find Kayla. Where is

21:24

she? I don't know. Try the strip

21:26

somewhere. Maybe the whiskey. She's totally pissed

21:28

at me. And then we've got a

21:30

real in the movie. I underestimated just

21:39

how zero the cheeks were. Oh

21:42

boy. Holy shit. There was a

21:44

negative coefficient on that. Weird note

21:47

to throw out there. I'm just saying. So

21:49

she's a real looker. Oh boy. Not

21:53

only did it mean take a shit in

21:55

the middle of this podcast, what came back

21:57

with a white claw, but now he's got

21:59

a white claw. said anything about taking the

22:02

shit. I'm just guessing. I'm guessing. I'm

22:04

guessing PIP asked the receptionist why

22:06

black people don't like him. Use me. Incredible

22:08

stairs by Yvonne. She's ass off. Just, you

22:10

know, I listened to a lot of rap

22:13

music and I know how angry black people

22:15

are. And I feel bad, you know, for

22:17

all you guys kind of put up with,

22:19

well, that's very nice of you. He's an

22:21

ally. How about when you go

22:23

into a store and all the clerks start staring

22:25

at you like you're going to rob the place

22:27

and you're like, Hey, I just want to buy

22:29

something. I'm sorry. That's

22:31

never happened to me. Does that happen to you? No,

22:35

but, uh, just saying now it

22:37

would be bad if it did look at Chas

22:39

out there doing his thing. It's even a bit,

22:41

it's a smart movie. Ernie wants them to send

22:43

a hostage side of good

22:46

faith while they do this. Chas jumps on

22:48

a small pillar, screams air guitar crowd loves

22:50

it back inside. Rex has his gun pointed

22:53

at Susie with two Z's and he's in

22:55

the middle of explaining once again, it's more

22:58

like power. Slob. I thought it was

23:00

slob, which also works.

23:03

Chas tells it what the cops are

23:05

doing. Power. Slob is a slob. It

23:07

requires an incredible amount of power. They

23:09

have to send one person out. Pip

23:11

says, I'll go. That was legitimately fun.

23:13

One of the hostages do doof is

23:15

definitely a nineties ass term. Put it

23:17

on the list, man. Harder doesn't

23:19

want to go. This is too cool, man. They're

23:21

going to let the receptionist go because she's very

23:24

nice. Milo takes offense. No, wait a minute. Wait

23:26

a minute. I don't see why you automatically have

23:28

to choose a woman. Well,

23:30

it's kind of sexist. Don't you think? I

23:33

mean, we could, we could draw straws. We

23:35

could, okay. Same note too, bro.

23:37

It is kind of sexist guy. The crowd

23:40

starts teasing Chris Farley. Like a mean talks

23:42

about Zion Williamson. Oh man.

23:44

Hey butterball. Yeah. I had the doc

23:46

rivers press conference note here. Yeah. They

23:48

laughed way too hard. Also. I would

23:50

never call Zion butterball. I'm

23:54

pretty sure you have. Why is everyone waiting? I'm

23:56

pretty sure. Why is there a pregnant pause? You

24:00

just call him D still. Is it cause the

24:02

Turkey market has changed? Why is the price going

24:04

to be pregnant too? What's going on here? What's

24:07

with all this body shame? Exactly. Cause someone fucked

24:09

that pause in raw.

24:11

Oh, the white cloth, plan

24:13

B swim club in bookstores.

24:16

Now Ernie calls

24:18

him over. Farley does a great exaggerated

24:20

sprint. Ernie wants him to supervise the

24:22

sweep of the sunset strip and hands

24:24

him the photograph. Whoa. We're still in

24:26

the ducks. Oh God. Oh God. Oh

24:28

God. Oh God. The air blows them

24:30

Rex and Pip let Yvonne go. Rex

24:33

can't believe they have fans. He goes

24:35

out there. He's doing middle fingers. He's

24:37

flexing. He's grabbing his crotch. He's doing

24:39

crowd work. He's loving this shit back

24:41

inside. Pip's going to miss Yvonne. Don't

24:43

be chit chatting with these people. Say

24:45

the teacher for someone else, please. Okay.

24:48

I haven't heard that word for

24:50

a long time. You're

24:52

not your buddies. You're your hostages. You got

24:54

to scare these people. They talk about it

24:56

being a water pistol. Rex is going to

24:58

show Pip how to be scary and talk

25:00

shit and Kramer over here's them from the

25:03

vent. He overhears those

25:06

shit talking part, but not the part where

25:08

they talk about it being water pistols, which

25:10

I thought for sure he was going to.

25:12

All right. Against the wall. Come on. Tough,

25:14

tough. Seriously move it.

25:17

I'm not scared to come on. I'm going to

25:19

stab your hands off with what? With my

25:23

dear. Yeah. And blood's going to

25:25

come out of your head. There's

25:27

nothing you can do about it.

25:29

Cause I'm a mad man. That's

25:32

good. Even though he

25:35

hears everything other than that line, they

25:38

can't hear a fucking sound of this dude

25:40

tumbling around up in these vents. Well, you

25:42

see, I mean, it's a comedy. You

25:45

got to suspend some disbelief there. Mr. Elevator

25:47

doors here. All of a sudden this calling

25:49

for a suspicious pension of disbelief. All right.

25:52

All right. All right. All

25:54

right. I mean, you're a good liar, so you could

25:56

handle this. I sure am. And you're a good actor.

25:59

Well, I don't know. about that. Do you think you

26:01

could be the tough guy and keep the tough guy

26:03

hostage keeper stick going or would you break? Yeah. As

26:05

a role or like in real life, in real life,

26:07

if you had to pretend cause like you are very

26:10

nice guy, I think you would feel bad. You would

26:12

feel some sympathy for these people. No, I have a

26:14

real desire for people to like me. Yes. Your pip.

26:16

So I think I could tough guy it for like

26:18

half an hour. And then at some point I'd start

26:21

being like, all right, you guys can have some cheeses.

26:23

You know, like I'd start breaking. And at that point I'd ask

26:25

you, what are you a crack baby? Oh, is

26:28

that Jesus reference? No, that was the next line

26:30

that he says because, Oh, the next time from

26:32

the movie. That's right. Yeah. I haven't seen in

26:34

our heads. Are you supposed to watch the movie?

26:37

No. Okay. Definitely not necessary.

26:39

Okay. This is actually all from your book.

26:41

This is all from the audio book. I

26:43

haven't read that book either. Oh yeah. This

26:46

is the audio book right now. This is

26:48

the audio book of t-shirt, t-shirt, audio club,

26:50

club soda, club soda, original

26:52

soundtrack, little salt. The LAPD SWAT truck

26:54

comes in and

26:58

Ernie's pissed. Ernie Marshall bell hops out

27:00

the van mid divorce position. I love

27:02

Marshall bell boots me out of my

27:05

own house. Now I'm shacking up at

27:07

the motor lodge. 12 years

27:09

of marriage and devotion down the tube.

27:11

Look, this movie's not going to get

27:14

credit for writing, but motor lodge is

27:16

perfect. Motor lodge is great. Also you

27:18

immediately know where this guy's head space

27:20

is hopping right out. Amazing writing. Juris

27:22

dicks position. We got a real pissing

27:25

contest taking over the interior perimeter. Ernie's

27:27

mid negotiations. God damn it. May

27:29

sarcastically backs off and Ernie is

27:31

named O'Malley. Is this a shack

27:33

situation? Oh, O'Malley is

27:36

not a name that I

27:38

would associate with Ernie Hudson. I don't think

27:40

O'Neill's very Irish. Well, there's a lot of

27:42

black guys with Irish names, aren't there? Are

27:45

there? Aren't there? Welcome to cinema. Trace McGrady,

27:47

Shaquille O'Neal. McGrady's Scottish though, right? McGrady. I

27:49

don't know. Stephen Seagal. Is that an Irish

27:51

name? Seagal. It's a black guy. He

27:55

heard his reggae song. Ian, have you heard his

27:58

reggae song? Oh yeah. Yes.

28:00

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Larry Fitzgerald. Oh,

28:02

Larry Fitzgerald's a good one. Yeah.

28:04

Carla Malone Blake Griffin. Griffin is

28:06

a, okay. All right. Is that

28:08

correct? It's precedented. I guess it's

28:11

possible. Maybe just rest of the

28:13

podcast name black guys with Irish

28:15

name that are on the awesome.

28:18

The Murphy's Eddie and Charlie Murphy. Murphy's

28:20

an Irish name for sure. Murph

28:23

is something to this. Grabers talking to Carl on

28:25

the phone. He wants to know if they're molesting

28:27

him in any way. That's his first question. Are

28:30

they molesting you in any way? Carl wants to

28:32

do something for him. You have any training? I

28:34

was in the merchant Marines, Marines. Gotcha. I was

28:36

an accountant. No, you won't be held accountable. When

28:38

you be my man inside, check in with me

28:40

periodically. Gives him a number to call. Rex

28:43

is stealing CDs. Thinks the station must have cool

28:45

stuff. He's going to make better music. Pardon me

28:47

to interrupt. See these nuts. Bring it back. All

28:49

the back up. There it is. It's

28:52

been ganked. So it's, it's ready for its

28:54

closeup. It's been ganked. That is an Emily.

28:56

He actually swapped out the multiple Emmys. He

28:58

has now the other ones getting ganked. Yep.

29:00

This one's fully polished. You should try to

29:02

get them all ganked at the same time.

29:04

Call that a gank bank. You're going to

29:06

clip us some C's dude. Sweet. See his

29:09

nuts. We got these guys by the short

29:11

and curlies probably demand some free stuff from

29:13

the cops. What am I talking about? Probably

29:15

tons of cool stuff here. As long as

29:17

we're running this joint might as well hear

29:19

some decent jams and we get a montage.

29:21

They're raiding the office. Now this music montage

29:24

ass onto the boom box holder outside. David

29:26

Arquette's playing the game gear through a magnifying

29:28

glass. It looks like he's masturbating. You're obviously

29:30

bobbing up and down. Really looks like he's

29:32

jacking it. That's exactly what I thought. I

29:34

think they want you to think that they

29:37

sure do as someone who's been on chat

29:39

relay before. That's what they want you to

29:41

think. And eventually there's a slow pan out

29:43

and we see Marcus's traumatized face. Yeah. As

29:45

David Arquette bobs up and down. He also

29:48

looks like Beavis and butt head with this

29:50

magnifying glass for sure. Chas now on the

29:52

mic. This is the real rebel radio voice

29:54

of the resistance. Chas speaking. You man, you

29:58

guys know how to have fun. Milo tells him not

30:00

to swear. You have to use

30:02

so many cuss words. The

30:08

fuck you talking about? Rex is

30:10

wearing a Confederate soldier's hat. Yeah.

30:14

Why would that be? At

30:16

the radio station. Rebel radio? Oh,

30:20

Rebel radio. Yeah, wow. And

30:22

yet, it's 94. Yo,

30:25

but 94 you were still getting Confederate

30:27

imagery places. I lived in Mississippi in

30:30

94. I remember. Right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

30:32

Yeah. West Point, Mississippi. When was that

30:34

great UNLV team? 90, 91, 92. Yeah.

30:37

90, 91, 92. They

30:40

were the running Rebels back then, and they were like

30:42

full-blown Confederates too. And that was Vegas.

30:45

Yeah. Larry Johnson definitely sided with the Confederate Army.

30:47

That's well known. With the South.

30:50

Fought on the side of the South. Old grandma. Leave

30:52

us in the butt-head. Call in. They

30:54

sure do. Why? Because this is

30:56

1994. You get a reference in there. Probably friends with

30:58

Mike Judge. You're on the air. Whoa.

31:01

Am I on the air? Come on buddy. Give me the phone. Am

31:04

I speaking English? What did I just say? Dipshit. Come

31:06

on buddy. No way. Shut up,

31:09

Beavis. Oh,

31:11

so what do you guys want? You guys are like the

31:13

lone Rangers, right? Mm-hmm. We

31:15

saw you guys at the wheel well last month. You fuck. Yeah.

31:19

Take him down here and say that, you punk.

31:21

Yeah, it's straight. You can kiss my ass. Hey,

31:23

why don't you guys make all the chicks get

31:25

naked? Yeah. Ian, the usual crop

31:27

of fingers. What do you call them?

31:29

Susie with two Z's tells them they're

31:31

on TV. We get some newscast position.

31:34

I like this newscast position a lot. It might be

31:36

one of the best we've ever had. Ass

31:38

off. A band of failed musicians lashing out

31:40

at the society that won't listen to them.

31:43

Their target, the only capitalist at a

31:45

fist. Their MTV soak mines recognize a

31:47

rock and roll radio station. The Lewis

31:50

Pinoc accent award goes to her switching

31:52

to an accent, which says Tijuana. No,

31:54

you want to talk about the mayor.

31:57

The mayor is on holiday here. The

31:59

mayor. is on holiday

32:01

in Tijuana. Bye Mr. Mayor. Bye. I smell

32:03

a scandal. 20th century bitch. Rex says I'd

32:05

like to croak that bitch. Same note too

32:08

bro. Kramer pops down into an office from

32:10

the duck. He sees a cell phone. He

32:12

falls. He's doing Kramer shit. Still when you

32:14

say he's doing Kramer shit, do you mean

32:16

he put on the Confederate hat or he

32:18

was doing antics? He's yelling the N word

32:21

at the top of his lungs. Now

32:23

he's icing his head with Briar's ice

32:25

cream. Six hostages, three weirdos with Uzi's.

32:27

Keep your eyes open and your tail

32:29

down. Exposition that he's unmarried. Doesn't even

32:31

have a home. He's got a condo.

32:33

That's right. Gotcha. And then he starts

32:35

going into bitch ex-wife's position, right? Mase

32:38

is also using this as therapy. They're

32:40

really connecting here. Let me tell you

32:42

about the shrew I married. Oh boy.

32:44

I used to come home tired every

32:46

night, sometimes five, six in the morning.

32:48

I dropped my underwear on the floor

32:50

one time. I had a teeny weedy

32:52

little skid market. You would have thought

32:54

I started world war nine and I

32:56

asked skid marks in underwear 20 CB.

32:58

Yes. Because whenever

33:00

people stop wearing tighty whitey's, I think that's

33:02

when that went away as a joke or

33:05

whatever. Do you think kids now know what

33:07

skid marks are? Yeah. Kids are still leaving

33:09

skid marks. I bet. Yeah. Kids are leaving

33:11

skid marks. What else would you call it?

33:13

Is there a new friendly or parenting version

33:15

chemtrails? Oh wow. Get

33:17

that other Emmy out. Please give

33:19

the third one. Oh, there

33:22

it is. There's the third one. They got

33:24

me. By the way, I thought

33:26

he was going to say world war three and he

33:28

said nine. So they raised the stakes on that. You

33:30

know why? Cause you gotta let it breathe. Yeah. You

33:32

don't know what history is going to do. I think

33:34

we're still in Iraq at the time. You don't know.

33:36

You want this shit to be timeless, bro. Will this

33:38

be a means golden dumpster? Tune in later to find

33:41

out. Susie with two Z's cuts the sleeve off his

33:43

shirt for pip. He's got really good arms. Ian's wondering

33:45

how he does that. I think it's his hands are

33:47

more bumper than about his job. Would

33:49

that I seem so stupid. I must be

33:52

cute routine. That's the quiet,

33:54

cool chicks, man. He just

33:56

lock on it. Bumper. So that's twice.

33:58

Now we've used bumper or ass. Hey,

34:00

Rex wants to know why they don't

34:02

play the hot CDs. That's on Milo.

34:04

They're so hot. How come they're not

34:06

tearing up the charts, babe? Don't call

34:08

me. Also see these nuts. Yep.

34:11

Yep. Yep. Yep. Still there. Yep. Cause you

34:13

never play him, babe. You suck. You babe

34:15

me. I babed you don't

34:17

pay me. Do not under

34:20

any circumstances, babe

34:22

me ever. We get some old

34:24

guy, young guy talking music. He

34:26

said rock and roll has been

34:28

all downhill since Lennon died. He's

34:30

old man. Lennon VI. Lennon Vladimir,

34:33

Illyach, Ollie enough. Sorry. Ron. Steve

34:35

was showing me character. That's my

34:37

fault. Chaz is tired of

34:39

this classic rock crap being crammed down his

34:41

throat. Cause he's choking at stairway to seven.

34:44

It's throat. You really think I gave a

34:46

crap about the Beatles? No offense, but today's

34:48

music doesn't have a whole lot to say.

34:50

Is that right? You didn't tell me that

34:52

purple haze says something. That's when we learned

34:54

that Milo's got a whole crate of Kenny

34:57

G CDs. They're free promos. He

34:59

lies about using them as stocking stuffers, but

35:02

it's the middle of July and Rex

35:04

grabs the mic, tells the people, Aloha, this

35:06

is Oedipus Rex. These guys rule, man. Gonna

35:08

hear some new shit right now. I don't

35:10

think you ever want to call yourself Oedipus

35:13

Rex, right? No. Cause it means you want

35:15

to kill your father and have a science

35:17

with your mother. The killing your father parts.

35:19

I think we can all overlook that that's

35:22

metal. It calls himself a smooth talking DJ

35:24

terrorist. Decidedly this isn't 20 CB so much

35:26

as it's pre nine 11 because being a

35:28

terrorist is still kind of like an edgy

35:31

thing. Like being a gangster. Yeah. And then

35:33

nine 11 happened as like, you don't want

35:35

to be a terrorist man. Terrace is the

35:37

worst thing you can be. And then we

35:40

brought it back. We've made it cool again.

35:42

There's a low rider bouncing dangerously close to

35:44

the demo tape. Ian finds that the station

35:47

is going to be rebranded by going through

35:49

shit in Milo's office. Cut to the whiskey

35:51

death fest. White zombie. Barley gets out, heads

35:53

the front of the line, reading a note

35:56

card blonde, wearing something tight and black. He's

35:58

literally surrounded by blondes wearing. tight and black

36:00

clothing. And this is a mean what looking

36:02

at Thomas Jane, Aaron Eckhart and Guy Pierce.

36:05

They look alike. Great. Grand wonderful. They look

36:07

alike. And it's not that he thinks they

36:09

look alike is that he can't tell the

36:11

difference between them. Okay. They look alike. That's

36:14

why I can't tell the difference. I Pierce

36:16

Thomas train and Aaron Eckhart for good measure.

36:19

You could throw Val Kilmer in there. Although

36:21

I know Val Kilmer. What's Val Kilmer. He's

36:23

dead. No, he's not. Oh, he's

36:26

sick. Aaron Eckhart and Thomas Jane is

36:28

not, and you know, you could kind

36:30

of throw into this weirdly, Scott

36:33

Ockerman. Now that I would buy

36:35

Scott Ockerman, Guy Pierce and Thomas

36:37

Jane. I mean, that's no idea

36:40

who Scott Ockerman is from comedy.

36:42

Bang bang. He thinks it's guy

36:44

Pierce. No, no, no,

36:46

that's too far. No, no, no, no,

36:48

no. That's gone too far. Guy Pierce

36:51

and Thomas Jane. I swear I could

36:53

see it. I could see it. I'm

36:55

looking at it again. Ian's just being

36:57

nice. Hey listener, it's your

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42:52

When you listen to Nobody Listens to Paula

42:55

Poundstone to comedy podcast, you learn stuff. I've

42:57

been learning to throw a boomerang because this

42:59

is the kind of thing that really gets

43:01

the listeners engaged, you know? Interviews

43:04

with people who will make you

43:06

smarter. Does the amount that you

43:08

learn protect you from cognitive decline?

43:11

Paula, don't. Oh! Can't

43:14

people just listen to the show? Can't

43:16

they just enjoy a delightful treehouse full

43:18

of information? I think I'm bleeding. Join

43:20

us and be a nobody. Barley

43:24

tells bros shoving each other to

43:27

put a sock in it, and then he gets

43:29

launched into the mosh pit, thrown around like a

43:31

ragdoll. Back at the station, Ian holds up the

43:33

white merch. What are those? Their shorts, Ian. No

43:36

pants with little legs. Holds up the

43:38

easy listening sticker. Says he doesn't

43:40

have to explain himself. They're changing formats. Sunday at

43:42

midnight, station's going to soft rock. Changing the station

43:44

name. Relax to the mellow sounds of the rain.

43:47

I wrote Pacer's Call of Time out here. I

43:49

think I got confused on what I was taking

43:51

notes on. That's your newsletter. Wait, does that mean

43:53

in the newsletter there's something about the station switching

43:56

formats? No, they would have,

43:58

I don't know. I don't know what they edit

44:00

out. Horse noise mode. I mean, that's what this

44:03

is the dumbest. Do you

44:05

know about this shit? No, he

44:08

led his newsletter. About when Zach is watching

44:10

nickel, yokich horse noise mode, which is when

44:12

things are happening. He starts making that. And

44:15

all you can do is react like, Oh,

44:17

I see. Zach I'll be

44:19

honest with you. I've lost some respect for

44:21

you as a basketball person. Why? Because in

44:23

my mind, I know you didn't say this.

44:26

I got you watching the game and

44:29

as yokich is doing things, I got

44:31

you hopping around like moose in

44:34

the fanatics, making these noises. That's what I do.

44:36

Galloping around your living room. That's what I do.

44:38

You're watching the game. I got a broom like

44:40

a horse. Yeah. I would also think of horse

44:42

noise. It's like, that

44:44

would be my immediate. That's a nay. That's

44:46

different or a Winnie. Okay. Winnie is actually

44:48

only when they say hello. Do you know

44:50

that? No, I looked it up and

44:53

you're lying. I did. I looked up last night. Fucking lying.

44:55

I looked up last night. I believe it. So I wanted

44:57

to make sure I had my terms right. You could call

44:59

it white claw mode because you're going, so

45:01

it sounds like a can is opening. Oh,

45:03

that's good. You've inspired a man to re

45:06

up white. Oh

45:10

my God. That's a good one. It is

45:12

a satisfying noise. That was great. Shout out

45:15

to Foley artists. They're changing to the rain,

45:17

relax to the mellow sounds of the rain.

45:19

And they're going to restaff harder. Says you

45:21

put five. All them

45:23

years in a factory, all that time I put

45:25

in and I'm the fucking delivery boy, all them

45:27

blow jobs. That's true. She does say it under

45:29

her breath. So it's handed down from above. Ian

45:32

starts chasing Milo around. He rips the silk shirt. They

45:34

follow the ground. He's got him in a headlock. We

45:37

hear his back breaking. I don't know. There was a

45:39

lot of Foley artists here. And

45:41

then Chris Farley accidentally finds Kayla. That

45:43

easy. Need to talk to her about

45:45

Chaz Darby. What's the take her in?

45:47

What's the tape? We got some heavily

45:49

pierced bros who want to stop him

45:51

from following her. Don't you think you're

45:53

out of your league chunk

45:56

style? Cause

45:59

he's fat. Oh, I get it. T-shirts,

46:02

one club, everywhere. General. Get it right now.

46:04

Guy rips his badge off and bends it

46:06

with his teeth. Now what are you going

46:08

to do about that? So he rips out

46:11

his nipple piercing and the way he looks

46:13

at it in his hands, ass off, improvise.

46:15

That would generate a lot more blood. I

46:17

didn't say no. It's a pull up piercing

46:19

like a little ring out of a nipple.

46:22

You see it's satire and

46:24

comedy. Got it. So hard. Mason Kramer's

46:26

still on the phone. This is exactly

46:28

like Amos and Andrew when Bob Balaban

46:30

is self-therapizing as the hostage negotiator.

46:33

We basically get exposition that his wife was fucking

46:35

the pool boy. Pull filter my ass. Jazz back

46:37

on the air. Try to put a message out

46:39

to Kayla needs the demo tape. She's annoyed. She

46:41

stops the car in the middle of the road.

46:44

She just knows where it is. She's right there.

46:46

If you needed a Sean ass, then you can

46:48

go ahead and put this one down. I got

46:50

that right there. Yeah. I think that pool right

46:52

there. It's soggy because a dog was pissing on

46:55

it. It does raise the question. Could you make

46:57

your own pool? Yeah. I don't think it'd be

46:59

a good pool, but I can make a

47:01

pool. No, no. He's not asking. Are you

47:03

capable? He's asking legally. Are you allowed to

47:05

put one? No, well not. I mean, I

47:07

know in LA you're supposed to like get

47:10

all kinds of permits and testing and all

47:12

kinds of shit. Yes. We've watched Kirby enthusiasm.

47:14

This is long before that buddy. Sorry. How

47:16

much money could I save digging my own

47:18

pool hole? Albert pool hole. I have to

47:20

hold that Emmy up again. It

47:23

is whole, whole junkies. A

47:25

pool's got to cost 20 grand

47:28

brother. Yeah. Above

47:30

ground. Oh, I don't know about above ground. That's what

47:32

you're pointing out. No, I'm talking about that amount is

47:35

quite a bit higher than 20 grand

47:37

20. We might be the spec 50.

47:39

We're talking about 80 grand pouring the cement alone.

47:41

I would imagine I'll do it for 50.

47:44

I don't think that's quite enough of a savings to

47:46

justify having you pick a pool. Five. All

47:48

right. See, you know, we're talking. Yeah. Yeah. Cause what

47:50

if you're great? Right. Exactly. I might be so good

47:53

at this. You don't even know. Yeah. We don't know.

47:55

And I go to this all the time. The idea

47:57

that what if something that I've never tried to do

47:59

before? actually amazing at it, you don't know.

48:01

Like telling the truth? Well, not

48:03

that, because I have tried it into the

48:06

work. What if you're the best lacrosse player

48:08

in the world and you just never tried

48:10

it out? That's exactly my point. Yeah. And

48:12

yet I get pushback from all three, you

48:14

motherfuckers that I couldn't with six months of

48:16

training, medal in

48:19

archery in the Olympics. No, because I

48:21

know that's hard though. And lacrosse isn't?

48:23

No, it's not. It's just a stick

48:25

with a fucking baseball mitt on it.

48:27

It's just a fucking bow and an

48:29

arrow. Now see the bow and arrow

48:31

is hard, man. It's all compound stuff

48:33

now. The game left you behind. No,

48:35

no, no, no. Those losers think that's

48:37

what you need. I'm taking it back

48:39

to the woods. I'm taking it back

48:41

to the Neanderthals. You're going out there

48:43

in like a longbow? Longbow. A British

48:45

longbow? I'm making my own. Robin and

48:47

Loughley? Mm-hmm. Sherwood medal, Forrest, huh?

48:49

You sure wouldn't. I Sherwood medal. You are

48:52

Forrest, that is true. Gina Davis is a

48:54

big archer. I know that much. We

48:58

got to raise the Patreon money just so we can

49:00

hire Ian to give a little facts in the background

49:02

on anything. That's a trivia now. It's

49:06

like a commentary track. Like the X-ray on

49:08

fucking Amazon. To Zach's point, and I'm sorry

49:10

for saying this because I'm putting gas in

49:12

his tank. I agree. Gina Davis in 1999

49:14

was one of 300 women who

49:17

vied for a semi-finals berth in the US

49:20

Olympic archery team. She placed 24th out of those

49:22

300. That's not

49:24

meddling. She didn't start archery until 1997.

49:27

Oh really? Before the Longkiss Goodnight? And I

49:30

have way better hand-eye coordination than she does.

49:32

No way. Guaranteed. Dude, I've seen Longkiss Goodnight.

49:34

She's way better than you. Not a chance.

49:36

She's way better than you. Not a chance.

49:39

Yo, you're talking about a league of their

49:41

own's Gina Davis. Okay. Yes. I

49:43

tried out for fucking and one. Try

49:46

it out. I got hand-eye coordination. Emphasis

49:48

on try it out. I got closer

49:50

than she fucking did to the Olympics. Tell you that.

49:52

How close did you get? I don't know, but I

49:54

was balling. You

49:56

got all them years. All them years at

49:58

the ugly store. Exactly. What was

50:00

your and one name be

50:02

the recess supervisor? What would

50:05

it be? The assistant manager,

50:07

cut for

50:10

time. Oh,

50:14

the podcast.

50:17

They didn't know what that was. No, back

50:19

in the studio. They're writing down a list

50:21

of demands, 67 copies of Moby Dick, the

50:23

movie or the book. They made a book

50:25

out of that. I think so. Yeah. I

50:28

get the book. I left. They're trying to

50:30

find weird stuff. That way they complete insanity.

50:32

You guys are crazy, man. You're a woo.

50:34

Shit. Nah, he's the same note too, bro.

50:37

They want a cool base. They want a

50:39

cool guitar football helmet filled with cottage cheese.

50:41

They're reading the list to Ernie item

50:44

13, naked pictures of B Arthur.

50:46

Excuse me. She's from the golden

50:48

girls. I know who she is.

50:50

Fellas Dorothy. Yes. Giant

50:52

baby bottle. Give me a break. Rex has

50:54

figured out Papi or it's going to be

50:56

curtains for everyone and they want to record

50:58

contracts. Let's get a record executive down here.

51:01

Pronto and Chaz is pissed at that. Earlier

51:03

in the movie, they said, what are your

51:05

demands? And Sandler says something like

51:07

I want to go home. And I thought

51:09

that might be the most brilliant hostage negotiation

51:11

strategy. What are your demands? My demand is

51:13

to not go to jail. I

51:16

will release all the hostages. I don't, if you guys

51:18

promise to be cool. This is you thinking that I'll

51:20

do anything for $50. Give me $75 is

51:24

genius. It's fucking amazing. Hostage negotiating

51:26

is not a legally binding contract.

51:29

You Dick cheese. You said I

51:31

could go home. There's a meme

51:33

guys in a car. Hooker walks

51:36

up, says I'll do anything for

51:38

$50. And he says, give me

51:40

70, give me 75. It's so

51:42

fucking genius.

51:45

Where's that guy? Jesus Christ. That meme

51:48

maker. Oh boy. The Emmy more that,

51:50

and then

51:58

I don't know what to have. How

52:00

about the duck and the duck says, I'll have

52:02

the lasagna. That

52:08

one's funny. I've missed this. I've missed

52:10

this level of podcasting. What level? Yes.

52:12

Level right here. Drinking a white claw.

52:14

You took a shit halfway through the

52:17

episode. Well, that was because last night

52:19

that wasn't, Oh, he admitted. He admitted.

52:22

That's the grasshopper walks into a bar and the

52:24

bartender says, we have a drink name after you

52:26

in the grasshopper says, you have a drink name,

52:28

Steve, that caliber. Yep. Anything goes

52:30

with the mean right now. He's loving all these

52:32

simple knock, knock jokes. This

52:35

is good. I mean, useless. We're four

52:37

hours in and he's already drunk. He's got to do something

52:39

at 1am and he's going to be drunk. Cinephobe is going

52:41

to be at 1am and he's not going to be able

52:43

to do it. Like, wait, are you kidding me? He's hammering.

52:49

Here we go. All right. Here we

52:51

go. Chaz isn't happy with the demand

52:54

for a record contract. Lectures, recs about

52:56

their serious agenda, which was

52:58

weird because they don't have that cut to Susie

53:00

with two Z's and Pipset on 11 couch. And

53:03

she's gonna fuck them. Yes. She is.

53:05

What are you thinking about? Swimming pools,

53:07

mays clip it. What

53:16

are you thinking about? He sure swim

53:18

club, T-shirt swim club. I'm

53:21

thinking about June 11th. I wish I

53:23

was reading it right now. Kramer's behind the

53:25

couch as she goes for him and they

53:27

start banging. Coco Kramer SWAT team got a

53:30

background check on Chaz. His real name is

53:32

Chester Ogilvy born in jerk water, Iowa. Jerk

53:34

water. Is that a place? What

53:37

do you think? I think yes. Ian's on

53:39

it. It's going to give us

53:41

all the Iowa town is going to give

53:43

some exposition. No. Oh, wait.

53:45

Jerk water towns. Hold on. True West

53:47

magazine, jerk water. Wait a minute.

53:49

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. His occupation

53:51

is master of ceremonies. Just another small town

53:54

punk coming out West to be a star

53:56

and the local PD facts them his high

53:58

school yearbook photo, which is so fucking weird.

54:00

internet days were rough. He was a nerd.

54:02

Milo got his way to being on the

54:04

phone, trying to sell

54:06

ads. Now Chaz catches them. If

54:08

the cops killed him before the ads run,

54:10

you get a complete refund. When train stopped

54:12

in those places to refuel water, it would

54:14

jerk the water bucket brigade style to the

54:16

train. It was good back into the vents as

54:19

suzer two Z's is riding the life out of

54:21

tip. Takes his funy ends with him. Hands

54:23

up. He called jerkwater towns. Cops. Did you

54:26

say help as she mushes his face with

54:28

two hands? Yeah. Yeah. They found toys in

54:31

pool cleaning gear. And that's when mace realizes

54:34

that magic zoom banged his wife.

54:37

They're going to give Kramer a gun through the

54:39

roof. He had asked good

54:41

about these kids these days. They're tattoos.

54:43

Chaz says he's got a barbed wire

54:45

on his arm. Gecko on his chest.

54:47

Grim Reaper on his shoulder blade. This

54:49

is so 20 CB this tattoo conversation,

54:51

but he inspires Ian the shark. You

54:54

know, I mean, I can understand mom

54:56

or I heart wound

54:58

up. But why the Reaper? Well,

55:03

it's like death is stalking me and it's telling

55:05

me I better get off my ass and

55:07

get this band rolling. This is

55:10

for real. I got to cut a record. I

55:12

figured I'm screwed up

55:14

and average enough that I could write a song

55:16

that live on forever. And

55:18

then after that, it don't matter. Do any

55:20

of us have tattoos? I do not. I

55:22

don't. I don't. Are we four from four?

55:25

Is that the other tattoo? Not yet. Gecko's

55:27

had America in a fucking chokehold. Oh my

55:29

God. They still do Geico. They still do.

55:31

But even more so you have left coat

55:33

tattooed on your foreskin, right? No, no, no,

55:35

no. I have foreskin tattooed that I call

55:38

left coat. Oh, guys. Yes. Yes. On my

55:40

circumstance. Yeah. That's right. Oh, re-installed.

55:43

Yeah. But just ink sort of a second

55:45

chance. Oh, so it's not an actual, no,

55:47

it's actual. It's a lot of ink, the

55:49

thick layer of ink. I'm not that thick.

55:56

I got it in a white lab coat going. No, no.

56:00

It doesn't measure. Ian

56:03

gets on the air final night

56:05

at KP PX change the easy listening on

56:07

Monday. Time to party. Come on down. Time

56:09

for getting to know your arm to assailant.

56:11

Chas, you say all you want to do

56:13

is be heard. Well, you've got the whole

56:15

world listening. What have you got to say?

56:17

I want to

56:19

be heard. Yeah. There's one to be put on the spot.

56:21

Rex says, what do you want? I'm going

56:24

to make a speech. What does he look like? Sting. I

56:27

love to sold out the forum, standing in front of

56:29

20,000 screaming fans. What are you going to

56:32

say to him? That's

56:42

it. You're going to scream rock

56:44

and roll. You're going to go to jail for that. There's

56:47

a saying Milo. If it's too loud,

56:49

get too old. This would be like if someone

56:52

asks Ian the Carmel, not in the

56:54

shark, but he in the Carmel. What do you

56:56

got to say out there? You've sold out Madison

56:58

square guard and the industry. I'll stand up comedy.

57:00

No, no, no, no,

57:03

no, no. He's got to say call me

57:05

D. Like it's C no evil. You know,

57:07

he will call me D. Call me D.

57:09

Call me D. Turns up to an unbearable

57:11

volume. Kayla pulls up, SWAT guys, get a

57:13

gun to Kramer Milo wheels himself to piss.

57:16

Roll himself to the bathroom. Carter calls him

57:18

a little butt nut. What the fuck is

57:20

okay. Nevermind. He rolls in on Pippin Susie

57:22

with two Z's having sex. He's pissed that they're doing

57:24

that on his $1,400 leather couch. Come on.

57:28

Come on. With the $22,000 leather

57:30

couch. Come on. Same notes. Leather

57:32

couch is costs now. They gotta

57:34

be a lot, man. Leather's not

57:36

cheap. No, it's not leather. Couch

57:38

is pricey. Also it's hot.

57:40

Too hot. You can't get comfortable in the summer.

57:43

No, don't have sex on a leather couch either.

57:45

No, you'll stick. That's the worst for the wrong

57:47

reasons. 2,400. Really? That's

57:50

not bad. Costco. So we'll

57:52

go for a leather. Rex can't believe that PIP

57:54

did that 1800 for this

57:56

one. It is taking accountability. It says

57:58

Milo, this was my buzz. I

58:03

bet it was his pants around his ankles. He stands

58:05

up. He's holding his beanie over his junk. Well, Susie

58:07

doesn't want to leave cause I'm a hostage and Pip

58:09

is my, my man with a gun. And he says

58:11

I get to stay. Rex tells him to put the

58:14

monster away. The power gets cut in the building. Everybody

58:16

back to the booth. They put Milo in the closet.

58:18

He says his aunt was buried alive. I don't know

58:20

what that was funny to me. Cross-phobia. I don't think

58:22

you're getting out the door less than $4,000 knock at

58:25

the door. Harold Ramis head

58:28

of A and R for capital records. Toss them

58:31

his ID. This is hot. You guys

58:33

are the hottest thing since Marky Mark

58:35

and the funky bunch Marky Mark man,

58:37

that guy sucks. Okay. Forget barking Mark.

58:39

I love that. There's magic

58:41

out there. Let's talk contracts. Someday we're

58:43

going to be backstage at the forum

58:45

laughing about this. So many forum references.

58:47

They do a David Lee Roth van

58:49

Halen test. Ramis says van Halen and

58:51

everybody goes, he's a cop later. Bacon

58:53

is a co-op oink oink. Who'd win

58:55

in a wrestling match? Lemmy or God?

58:57

Lemmy. God wrong.

59:00

They can trick question. Lemmy is God.

59:02

He goes and yells at Ernie. He's

59:04

going nowhere.

59:06

They want the power back on Rex is out

59:09

there throwing concert tickets. Rex is hugging a girl

59:11

before the cops get her back in the crowd.

59:13

He tells Chaz look at all the puny at

59:15

putty booty puny.

59:17

Nope. It's puny. It's funny and bays. You

59:19

know what to clip in right here.

59:21

No, don't do that. We want the

59:23

banana. No, parlay

59:26

this into a Hummer at least they

59:28

jump on the car, ask if everyone's having a good

59:30

time. They got the guns. We got the

59:32

numbers. Chaz gets them to start chanting Rodney

59:35

King. It's fucking madness right now. Marcus doesn't

59:37

understand. Oh, he was that guy. He has

59:39

his fist pumping with the Uzi holds his

59:41

arms out. Like Jesus. They agree to turn

59:43

the power back on. Kayla shows up, takes

59:46

full responsibility. I mean accountability says that

59:48

she was being a bitch. That's called

59:50

a guilty plea where I'm from. Oh,

59:52

that's not her dispelling the notion. That's

59:54

her saying you got me. Now you're

59:56

a lawyer. Now he's got heat though.

59:58

Now he's got. He had heat

1:00:00

before in his pants jeans,

1:00:03

his wiener. We call

1:00:06

it a hog. Mace is holding

1:00:08

her back. Tells Chester to give it up.

1:00:11

And that's when we get the unveiling that

1:00:13

he was a nerd like dungeons

1:00:15

and dragons, short hair, a collection, eight

1:00:17

bookers, which I did not know that's

1:00:19

one of the pre-reqs to nerd them.

1:00:21

Well, that's when you found out you

1:00:23

were the amount of metal dudes who

1:00:25

play dungeons and dragons is staggering. Is

1:00:27

it? I think so. Isn't it? I

1:00:29

don't know if I know anyone who

1:00:31

played dungeons and dragons. Welcome to Cinefoe.

1:00:33

I played dungeons and dragons in middle school.

1:00:35

Absolutely. I didn't know that. Really? How do

1:00:38

you do that? It's just a book. You

1:00:40

sit around, you play make believe. You roll

1:00:42

dice, right? Roll dice. We call that craps

1:00:44

where I'm from. And the dice be weird.

1:00:46

It's not like regular dice. 20 sided dice.

1:00:49

You would be shocked by the amount of

1:00:51

people out there who play dungeons and dragons.

1:00:53

Like who could give us names? Vince bond,

1:00:55

Vince bond, Aaron Eckhart Vin Diesel, Thomas Jane

1:00:58

Vin Diesel. I can see, yeah.

1:01:00

Yeah. It's kind of like Harrison. What's his name?

1:01:02

Harrison Butler. You does Harrison

1:01:04

Butler. Yep. There it is. Alfred. You

1:01:06

know, he's a big fucking D and

1:01:08

D head. Joe Manginello. Oh, I believe

1:01:10

that the wolf man from fucking true

1:01:13

blood, right? Yep. E fee dude. There

1:01:15

you go. Aubrey Plaza. That tracks totally

1:01:17

Aubrey Graham, John Favreau that tracks as

1:01:19

well. Him Duncan that tracks as well.

1:01:21

Yeah. Ball and D and D now

1:01:23

you're just hitting all the usual suspects

1:01:26

here. Yeah. Here. Will you think, but

1:01:28

still shocked me, shocked me, shocked me.

1:01:30

I thought Joe Manginello was a pretty

1:01:32

shocking. That is pretty shocking. And Vince bond is

1:01:34

another shocking D and D player, right? No. Cause

1:01:36

he talks. He's a talker. They like to talk

1:01:38

cause you got a storytelling message. Don't you? I

1:01:40

don't know how to play. They liked to talk.

1:01:42

Aubrey Plaza was a shocker too. Come on. The

1:01:44

crowd is with them. Guy used

1:01:46

to play D and D two British guy

1:01:49

was the edifice. Go guys. I ain't let

1:01:51

me kill my story. Smoking a heater guy

1:01:53

used to wear corduroy pants. I used to

1:01:56

masturbate constantly. Whoa. I guess, I guess that

1:01:58

makes me a nerd, but I'll. Also corduroy

1:02:00

pants, 20 CB. I think they're

1:02:02

back. No, they're not saying the core. You

1:02:04

can't find them. I got a pair of

1:02:06

corduroys gap.com baby used to work.

1:02:09

You got corduroys. Oh yeah. Corduroys. Yeah. Come on,

1:02:11

man. But you're also part of the Illuminati. So

1:02:13

that's different. Well, yeah, that's how you get them.

1:02:15

That's how you know you're in. Right. They hand

1:02:17

you your pair of corduroys. They give you a

1:02:20

pair of corduroys and an owl, an owl, an

1:02:22

owl. I'll believe that weaving spiders. That's

1:02:24

all I'll say. Kayla needs Mason. The Dick runs

1:02:26

the Chaz crowd loves it. Rex is chanting Chaz

1:02:28

to the crowd. They throw trash at maces. He

1:02:30

goes back in the truck. The tape is trash though.

1:02:33

She lies. Rex calls her Yoko Chaz. I've

1:02:35

been with you almost as long as these

1:02:37

two assholes. I think it's time they treat

1:02:40

me with respect. Says he doesn't have time

1:02:42

for this Rex. Excellent. Crazy eyed reaction. Things

1:02:44

smells like piss. Guys wonders if she came

1:02:46

down to help or bitch at Rex. Cause

1:02:48

right now you're being a complete and she

1:02:50

smacks the shit out of him. After

1:02:53

all I've done for you, you shoot me out in front of

1:02:55

your friends. He says she's acting like a spaz.

1:02:58

You know, that's like a really bad word

1:03:00

in England. Really? I didn't

1:03:02

know that. Yeah. It's a bingo word

1:03:04

in England. Oh shit. He's

1:03:06

digging other shit. Calls him out

1:03:09

for always trying to be a little glory

1:03:11

boy. She calls him Chester. He tells

1:03:13

her to get lost. Got a million things going

1:03:15

through my brain. Only your stupid bullshit too. She

1:03:18

says she's part of this. You wrote that

1:03:20

song for me. It's my song. And he

1:03:22

hits her back. He wrote the song before

1:03:24

he even met her. Boom. He throws a

1:03:26

chair through the glass, shattering the

1:03:29

glass and sparking the mix board.

1:03:31

You don't even care. You don't even

1:03:33

care what happens to me. Oh, I'm

1:03:35

sorry. Is she overreacting like a

1:03:37

coked out fiend and losing

1:03:39

control? Hoked out. Who says she's coked

1:03:41

out? Okay. Maybe she just offered lithium.

1:03:43

Whoa. You can call it that. Whoa.

1:03:45

He's trying to get a record contract

1:03:47

to make it up to her. All

1:03:50

he's got is his guitar, his bike,

1:03:52

and his woman. Oh boy.

1:03:54

How do you keep pot? Okay. I

1:03:56

don't even seem drinking. This is the

1:03:58

longest podcast ever. That's. uncomfortable.

1:04:00

He wants the whole world to hear

1:04:02

her song. Is that love or what

1:04:05

is nostrils are flaring like crazy. Hicks

1:04:07

the wall. More glass falls and breaks.

1:04:09

All right. I love you almost under

1:04:11

his breath, not facing her, but then

1:04:13

he helps us through the window. They

1:04:15

make out. They've got the list of

1:04:17

stuff. Farley's putting cottage cheese in a

1:04:19

football helmet. Milo's trying to get

1:04:21

out of the closet. Kramer is ready in the

1:04:23

gun in the air duct. Milo is using his

1:04:25

mouth to move the door handle. He sucks it

1:04:27

open. He's filleting the door handle. He

1:04:30

sucked that thing open. He sure did. It's

1:04:32

hot. Our kid

1:04:34

and Marcus are bringing stuff in Chaz

1:04:36

is where they didn't make the demands weird

1:04:38

enough. Rex says that these are his people

1:04:40

yells their party in here. You got all

1:04:42

kinds of beer. He goes to high five

1:04:45

Chaz. The door shuts on the gun. It

1:04:47

breaks it. They see liquid pour out Marcus

1:04:49

is going to beat his ass. Great

1:04:51

reaction noise by Marcus. He

1:04:59

punches Rex, runs out of there. Our

1:05:01

cat runs out. Cops grab Marcus, put

1:05:03

a gun to his head. LAPD. Yep.

1:05:05

It's accurate. He's shouting about a plastic

1:05:08

gun. Mace over here. They're going to

1:05:10

move in. That's when Kramer lowers his

1:05:12

gun out of the vent, just a

1:05:14

disembodied arm holding a gun. Yeah. Ian

1:05:17

knocks it loose with a massive baby

1:05:19

bottle. It lands and shoots

1:05:21

for about 25 seconds. It's

1:05:23

a real gun. It shoots everywhere, but it

1:05:25

doesn't hit anybody. Nope. But it scares the

1:05:27

whole crowd and mace into thinking that it's

1:05:29

a real gun, not plastic. Ian picks it

1:05:31

up. There's a moment where he thinks

1:05:33

about it, but then he hands it to Chaz.

1:05:35

He's on their side. Now Rex sprays a fire

1:05:38

extinguisher up at Kramer. Chaz calls Ernie the shit,

1:05:40

which what the fuck is it? It's

1:05:42

a shit sandwich. Okay. So he's going to

1:05:44

grease someone. Ernie wants to know what the

1:05:46

firing was. Chaz says there was a guy

1:05:48

coming through the ceiling. They wouldn't do that.

1:05:50

Blah, blah, blah. I'm sorry. Not to interrupt,

1:05:52

but when we're talking about all this weird

1:05:54

slang, did you guys know that in England

1:05:56

they use the word suck to mean hello

1:05:58

suck suck means Rob. No,

1:08:00

no, no, no. She has gets pissed that

1:08:02

he hasn't heard the demo. They start working

1:08:05

on the contract, making sure that they don't

1:08:07

get busted for going to jail. It does

1:08:09

call them a scum sucking weasel by the

1:08:11

way. Yeah. That means somebody who robs a

1:08:13

weasel. Yeah. Once the drum set that goes

1:08:15

underwater so they can dunk them in a

1:08:17

tank during the show. Rex is going to

1:08:20

get a leather jumpsuit with the crotch cutout.

1:08:22

Pip wonders, allowed to Rex. We're going

1:08:24

to go to jail. Just dawned on him.

1:08:26

Pape delay. Rex says small price

1:08:28

to pay for being a legend. Remember when

1:08:30

Ozzy got busted for piston on the Alamo

1:08:32

and he got banned from San Antonio for

1:08:34

a decade. Did his time went back? Rock

1:08:36

the place. Did it happen? That real? Yeah.

1:08:38

Yeah. That's a real thing. Yeah. Okay. Pip

1:08:40

doesn't have the tape with them. Rex calls

1:08:42

them a supercharge. It Chaz is having a

1:08:45

moment. He grabs a burrito. This

1:08:47

I've always wanted to do ever since I

1:08:49

saw this movie. I want a water gun

1:08:51

with hot sauce in it. And to use

1:08:54

that as my hot sauce device, this is

1:08:56

great. Oh, I've never made it happen to

1:08:58

apply hot sauce to apply to the burrito.

1:09:00

That's what he does to the burrito. That's

1:09:04

the rest of 2024 for me. He's being a

1:09:06

real mopey Dick. Ian's trying to fix the soundboard.

1:09:09

This is a little mini montage. And now we've

1:09:12

got Chaz sitting in the frame

1:09:14

of the kitchen window, pouting and

1:09:16

staring into space. He just invented

1:09:18

death cab for cutie right this

1:09:20

second. What's this cap

1:09:23

for cutie? You can look it up after

1:09:25

it's a white it's a white. Oh, I

1:09:27

thought it was contracts done. Kayla's so excited.

1:09:29

Pip comes out. They discovered that he still

1:09:32

hasn't heard the song. And that's what Rose

1:09:34

Chaz off after Pips says no way you're

1:09:36

crapping me. Chaz is like, what he's hearing.

1:09:39

He says no deal yesterday. Dick shine over

1:09:41

here kicks me out of Palentine records. And

1:09:43

today he has a record contract for me to

1:09:45

sign hasn't even heard my tape. No deal. C

1:09:47

T five liar. Well, Chaz, my man,

1:09:50

it's not just the music. It's the way you

1:09:52

talk about you have such passion.

1:09:54

Whoa, whoa. What am I

1:09:56

hearing? What's wrong, man? No

1:10:01

deal. No. That's when

1:10:03

Jimmy says, can't buy this kind of exposure sitting

1:10:05

on a goldmine long-term deal that will get their

1:10:07

music to millions and get them a whole lot

1:10:09

more. Ever since you signed this contract, you've been

1:10:11

under the umbrella of Palatine records. Attorney's

1:10:13

looking out for their investments. Rockstars don't go to

1:10:16

jail. Christ. Vince. Neil only did 30 days and

1:10:18

he killed somebody. That's also true. Aicular manslaughter. Yeah.

1:10:20

And they actually only did 15 days. That's like

1:10:22

Albert Haynes worth, right? And then I fell and

1:10:25

then he killed somebody and then I got like

1:10:27

30 days lettered little killed two

1:10:29

people in two different drunk driving. Right? He's

1:10:31

still out there. Ray Lewis killed a guy and

1:10:33

never went to jail and the t-shirt was never

1:10:35

found allegedly. T-shirt swim club, June 11th. T-shirt

1:10:38

never found swim club. T-shirt murder club.

1:10:41

He said, murder club with that. He's

1:10:43

sure murder club. Jimmy's got an idea

1:10:45

because they can't play the tape. Still

1:10:47

they're going to do a concert helicopter

1:10:49

month continues as a helicopter brings a

1:10:51

stage in. Oh my God. We get

1:10:53

Kurt loader. Okay. Just a few moments.

1:10:55

Now we're going to be witnessing the

1:10:57

culmination of this extraordinary rock and roll

1:11:00

drama, a live performance by the lone

1:11:02

Rangers. Wait a minute. Wait a

1:11:04

minute. That can't be right. Can I? You can't

1:11:06

pluralize lone ranger. Oh no. We got to tell

1:11:08

you this is like seven straight movies where there's

1:11:10

a helicopter in it. Yeah. Complete by accident. You

1:11:12

could just do a spin off of helicopter movies.

1:11:14

I would love to spin off of helicopter movies.

1:11:17

Oh boy. There it is. Oh my God.

1:11:19

That's right. Jimmy's getting directors for the music

1:11:21

video. They're going to bury Lala Palooza. They

1:11:23

hate the costumes. They hate the way it

1:11:26

looks, but he's talking them into it. It

1:11:28

only works if they have hostages. They go

1:11:30

up on stage. Can't believe the crowd. Pip

1:11:32

says this is a soggy dream come true.

1:11:34

A soggy dream. That's not

1:11:36

real. What? No, but calling it soggy

1:11:39

makes it grosser somehow. Soggy dream. Oh,

1:11:41

now that you could definitely suck some

1:11:43

guys for a soggy dream. Suck on

1:11:45

a man for a soggy dream. Then

1:11:47

bang his voice, bang his boys until

1:11:49

they cream sucking our boys for a

1:11:51

soggy cream. Bang these boys until they

1:11:53

cream. Oh yeah. There we go. That's

1:11:55

a hit song. That's a Grammy right

1:11:57

there. That's for the, uh, That's

1:12:02

season two. Except it's all, it's Australia,

1:12:05

mate. Bulls Australia. They get their instruments

1:12:07

to start playing. There's no juice. It's

1:12:10

juice. I mean, the answer props. They're just background

1:12:12

for the video. We're going to play your tape

1:12:14

through the PA system and you guys, Jeff, Panama,

1:12:16

what are you yanking me? Well, look, look, if

1:12:18

you don't do it this way, then you won't

1:12:20

be able to sync it up in post. Okay.

1:12:22

No rats lift up the gun, up the gun

1:12:24

so they can see it. Come on. I ain't

1:12:27

lip-syncing man. It's a video. People always lip-syncing videos.

1:12:29

Oh, come on. This is bullshit. So that's all

1:12:31

we are to you. Huh? Some freak show. Well,

1:12:33

you care. Our album can be pit farting on

1:12:35

a snare drum guys. I ain't

1:12:37

farting on no snare drum. Judd threatens

1:12:39

no deal. They walk. Chaz grabs them, drags them

1:12:41

out. Can't do that. Don't make us be lame.

1:12:44

Listen, dirt head, shut your mouth and do what

1:12:46

you're told. You know what? Fuck these guys tear

1:12:48

up the contract. Wow. She was right to be

1:12:50

a bitch. Throws his guitar behind his back. We

1:12:52

got a director with a goatee in a beret

1:12:54

being lifted up on a dolly yelling at Judd

1:12:57

Nelson to get out of the shot. Why does

1:12:59

he have a beret? Why wouldn't you not? Why

1:13:01

does he own it? Why is it within like,

1:13:03

you didn't get up ladies and gentlemen. No, he

1:13:05

just keeps that thing on him at all times.

1:13:07

I see. Martin was a prop comic. I'm

1:13:10

never more than 15 feet

1:13:12

from a beret in my life. I've seen

1:13:14

it. They're stashed all over his home. Everywhere.

1:13:16

Yeah. I can get to him in the

1:13:18

dark. They're rubber banded to his cats. Wait,

1:13:20

cats. I have two cats like the animals.

1:13:22

Oh, not like not the movies. No. Okay.

1:13:24

Gotcha. And my cats like my dudes, my

1:13:27

guys and then you

1:13:30

bang them in the mouth. Look at my boys.

1:13:32

I'm talking about cats. So I suck them off. Is that

1:13:34

what it is? He

1:13:37

throws his hands in the air. He in the

1:13:39

shark. Can't believe it. Jimmy says they're filming. Ian

1:13:41

gets on the mic, says the crowd. Can't

1:13:44

see them from way back there. Come to

1:13:46

the stage. Farley gets bum rushed. Ernie says,

1:13:48

let him go. Chaz and Rex are smashing

1:13:50

the instruments and the equipment. It's totally anarchy.

1:13:53

They dig the song. They do a upper

1:13:55

Decker stage dive. That is 30 feet

1:13:58

easily. grown-ass men.

1:14:01

Brendan Fraser is enormous. He

1:14:03

crushed somebody. Yeah, that's incredible.

1:14:05

They crowd surfed. Fraser is

1:14:08

orgasming and now they fade to

1:14:10

the Lone Rangers live and in

1:14:12

prison on MTV. Ian

1:14:14

is now their manager. Kayla

1:14:17

and Susie are backstage dancers.

1:14:19

I like this song. Let's

1:15:21

update the CT5 songs for me.

1:15:23

No. It's number five, Fireball by

1:15:25

Pitbull's out. Wow. Keep my oil

1:15:27

eyes as there. Are

1:15:31

these songs for movies? What's this ranking? In

1:15:33

movies, in episodes. Oh, let's, let's get, let's,

1:15:35

let's get the Ian. It's a three hour

1:15:38

episode, man. We have kept Ian so long.

1:15:40

It'll take five seconds just to tell him.

1:15:42

It will not. He's curious. It's already taken

1:15:44

five seconds arguing about it. Well,

1:15:47

that's cause you're arguing. My number one is crank

1:15:49

that Travis Barker and soldier

1:15:51

boy from never backed up.

1:15:53

My number one was R Kelly Gotham city

1:15:55

from Batman and Robin. I mean, loves R

1:15:57

Kelly. I love that song. Mays.

1:16:03

And we've

1:16:05

got Steve Buscemi gyrating, pretending the basis

1:16:07

is cock right in the face of

1:16:09

two very unamused black prisoners. Pip wonders

1:16:11

what he's doing. Ian's yelling on his

1:16:13

cell phone. We get the insane. They

1:16:15

start touring in six months, three months

1:16:17

if they behave themselves. The lone Rangers

1:16:19

served three months for kidnapping theft

1:16:22

and assault with hot pepper sauce. Their album

1:16:24

live in prison went triple platinum roll

1:16:26

credits. Goddamn right. We don't get enough recaps

1:16:28

at the end of movies anymore. I love

1:16:31

those. I love that. I love it

1:16:33

where so and so is. Yeah. What happened? Ian,

1:16:35

can you recap at the end of your book?

1:16:37

Yes. Ian Carmel still wears a t-shirt in the

1:16:39

pool. Ian Carmel still never more than 15 feet

1:16:42

from a beret. Amino

1:16:44

hasn't stopped touching white clothes. No he

1:16:48

didn't. C25

1:16:50

live. Who cares if

1:16:52

you lose the game, you got this off

1:16:54

your chest. I mean, it's just one night

1:16:56

of bar trivia. One night

1:16:59

of bar trivia is sacrosanctus. Trivia

1:17:01

is San Chris Sank filmed at

1:17:03

Fox Plaza, 2121 Avenue of

1:17:06

the stars in century city. This building shares

1:17:08

a parking lot with Nakatomi Plaza and Die

1:17:10

Hard, which is spoofed in this movie. Oh,

1:17:12

really? Nakatomi Plaza at this point is a

1:17:14

repeat offender, right? Cause it's been in the

1:17:16

trivia so many times, but it hasn't been

1:17:18

in any movies. No, but you know, snack

1:17:20

at Tony Plaza. You're having

1:17:22

a snack. Sock it to me. Plaza.

1:17:24

John Cusack was the first choice to

1:17:26

play Chaz Christina Applegate was considered for

1:17:28

the role of Kayla. Oh, Christina Applegate

1:17:31

would've been great. The French release of

1:17:33

this film is called radio rebels in

1:17:35

Japan. It's hard rock hijack on Chinese

1:17:37

sites. It's loosely translated to rock and

1:17:39

roll army. Ooh. I like that. Did

1:17:41

you guys talk about how it's kind

1:17:44

of like dog day afternoon? You

1:17:46

did mention that a little bit. Yeah. Yeah.

1:17:48

A little bit like dog day afternoon. Just

1:17:50

a touch. Now everybody thinks I'm smart.

1:17:53

What is this? Dog day afternoon. He wasn't

1:17:55

even wearing the beret when he said that.

1:17:57

What is this? Three dog night day afternoon.

1:17:59

Oh, three dog. Good night afternoon, dog

1:18:01

day after. Three dog. Three dog day.

1:18:04

Three night dogs. Mid day, mid

1:18:07

somar? Why would a three dog night, rock

1:18:09

band? White band. I know, but like the Temple

1:18:11

of the Dog Day afternoon, I got it. Oh,

1:18:14

there it is. After Doom. Oh,

1:18:17

Raiders of the Lost afternoon?

1:18:19

No. No, that's fucking dumb.

1:18:21

That's way off. God. That's

1:18:24

just way off. Last crusade? Okay, yeah.

1:18:27

It makes less sense, but I'm more on

1:18:29

board. Steve Buscemi originally wore a shirt that

1:18:31

said blow me, but studio execs freaked out

1:18:33

when they saw the first dailies and ordered

1:18:35

that it be changed, which is why

1:18:38

Rex's wardrobe changes without explanation. Steve

1:18:40

Buscemi and Adam Sandler became friends on the

1:18:42

set of this movie, which explains why he's

1:18:44

in every other Sandman movie ever after that.

1:18:46

Ah. We have this offer, man. It's the

1:18:48

origin story right here. I'd like you all

1:18:50

to do an experiment on a

1:18:52

plant, something that may

1:18:55

benefit mankind. And if

1:18:57

you had devised something that groundbreaking, I

1:18:59

guarantee you a in this

1:19:01

course. Whoa, hold on, man.

1:19:04

You're following me? You

1:19:06

can't do that, Lionel. Look,

1:19:09

man, if you don't want me to have

1:19:11

a foreman job, I understand, but I need

1:19:13

my fucking job, man. Lewis Pinock, accent award.

1:19:15

I had the Dave Arquette's Bicoli voice. I've

1:19:18

got a newscast position scene. Tijuana. Tijuana.

1:19:20

What the? I've got the black security guard at

1:19:22

the beginning. Listen, buddy, you're whatever the hell he

1:19:24

said. And he said it in that kind of

1:19:26

voice that black people do when they're doing the

1:19:28

white voice, we don't know any that's white people

1:19:31

talk like this. But when we do this, everyone

1:19:33

recognizes it's because we're trying to be the

1:19:35

white voice. I'm getting ready to say the same

1:19:37

thing. Dune. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

1:19:40

I like that. No, but no, but that's not

1:19:42

that's okay. So I wanted to push back on

1:19:44

this earlier, but I didn't want to hold up

1:19:46

the podcast. Yeah. Definitely. So you just

1:19:48

decided to do it 30 other times. Yes.

1:19:52

That's his Canadian accent coming out. That

1:19:54

wasn't him doing a voice. Sailors

1:19:56

not Canadian. Yeah. What? No,

1:19:59

wait, it didn't phrase. No, what

1:20:01

the what? Nevermind. Sandler said it in

1:20:03

the Sandler voice and Francis from Washington.

1:20:05

Is he? Yeah. Yeah, but that's close

1:20:07

to Canada. I'm really glad you didn't

1:20:09

hold up the podcast. Oh, he's American

1:20:11

Canadian actor. I thought he was from

1:20:13

Washington for some reason. No. Learn something.

1:20:15

Read a book. I fucking suck, dude.

1:20:17

I'm sorry. I suck. No, no, no,

1:20:19

no. I fucking suck. I can't read.

1:20:21

You don't rob anybody. He was

1:20:24

born to Canadian parents in Indianapolis. That

1:20:26

doesn't make him Canadian American and makes

1:20:28

him Canadian. No, that makes them

1:20:30

fucking Indian. They live in

1:20:32

Eureka, California, Seattle, Ottawa, briefly,

1:20:34

the Netherlands. Oh, he's that

1:20:36

Canadian American. That motherfucker is

1:20:38

an American. He's fucking American.

1:20:40

Yeah. What? He went

1:20:43

to the Cornish college of the arts in Washington.

1:20:45

That's where you get all his humor from. The

1:20:49

Cornish. This is going great. I'm going with the

1:20:51

guy that actually did a voice the entire movie.

1:20:53

It's David. Show

1:20:56

me the horsemen are good. Yeah, we

1:21:02

got soul. Five

1:21:12

horsemen.

1:21:19

It's 20 CB slang, man. I

1:21:21

mean, ganking, squat, Jones and dingus,

1:21:23

necking, ribs, bumper, pork. And there's

1:21:25

a hundred butt, not butt,

1:21:28

not budgies, Dick cheese, Dick cheese, Nick smoke.

1:21:30

I use Dick cheese to this day. Do

1:21:32

you? Yeah. I'll call somebody a Dick cheese.

1:21:34

When's the last time that happened? I'll call

1:21:37

my sister Dick cheese. You said that to

1:21:39

your sister. Absolutely. All the time. What was

1:21:41

the context? Something like me correcting her. No,

1:21:43

it's a Pepsi Dick cheese or what a,

1:21:46

you know, something along those lines. Somehow you've

1:21:48

never done it on this podcast. 227 years.

1:21:50

I mean, you've never talked about sucking guys

1:21:53

on the train. I don't know. I suck a lot of pricks.

1:21:56

Ian's never coming back on this podcast. I feel like

1:21:59

he had to do it some good. reading and

1:22:01

learning a lot of things. I have been.

1:22:03

Ian's been great. He won like seven Emmys.

1:22:05

What are you talking about? Yeah, he keeps

1:22:07

getting up. Breathe, into nose, out

1:22:09

the mouth. Ass

1:22:12

on, ass off. Teddy

1:22:15

Rex, Moozy Teddy Rex. Teddy

1:22:18

Rex, Moozy Teddy Rex. Ass

1:22:21

on, fucking ass off. Ass

1:22:24

on, fucking ass off. Michael

1:22:28

Bean, Memorial Ass on Award. This was kind

1:22:31

of tough. I had Judd Nelson as Jimmy

1:22:33

Wing. I thought he did better in the

1:22:35

second half, but that was my ass on

1:22:37

nomination. Yeah, I'm good with Judd Nelson. I

1:22:40

don't really think anyone did a bad job

1:22:42

in this movie. Judd Nelson did a bad

1:22:44

job. I'm gonna save you right there. When

1:22:46

he turns into a salesman liar, I was

1:22:49

more with it. But for the most part,

1:22:51

I just don't like Judd Nelson. Okay. Yeah.

1:22:54

Carl Weathers Memorial Ass Off Award. This is loaded.

1:22:57

Michael McKean, Chris Farley,

1:23:00

Joe Mantegna, Brendan Fraser,

1:23:02

Steve Buscemi. I

1:23:04

want the Fat Tony. He was really good. I

1:23:06

thought Joe Mantegna was excellent. Mantegna's great in this.

1:23:09

Fat Tony was amazing, yeah. Yeah, I think it's

1:23:11

Mantegna. You're good at keeping secrets? Absolutely.

1:23:14

Because I've got a present for you. Secret

1:23:16

present outside by the dumpster. Is it a baseball mitt? It

1:23:20

fits you like a baseball mitt, like

1:23:22

a glove. I hope. Golden Dumpster

1:23:24

nominees. Judd Nelson's

1:23:26

Soul Patch. The Lone Ranger is describing

1:23:28

their musical vibe. The TV newscast position.

1:23:30

Man of failed musicians, lashing out at

1:23:32

the society that won't listen to them.

1:23:34

Farley ripping out the dude's nipple piercing

1:23:36

and admiring it in his hand. Improvise.

1:23:38

You guys are the hottest thing since

1:23:40

Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. Marky

1:23:42

Mark, man, that guy sucks. Okay, forget

1:23:44

Marky Mark. And then immediately after that,

1:23:47

the Van Halen test. We just

1:23:49

lock mine in. Water gun with hot sauce

1:23:51

in it. Amen. That's why I think of

1:23:53

this movie every goddamn time. Me too. That's

1:23:55

the rest of my 2024 is making this happen. I feel

1:23:58

like it won't take you long. You'd be shocked. You

1:24:00

gotta buy a water gun, that's about it. Water gun

1:24:02

burrito. Has to be a water gun oozy though. Yeah,

1:24:04

that's true. Oh no, you can't find, you can't get

1:24:06

those anymore. I'm on it, you guys pick your golden

1:24:08

dumpsters, I'm on it. I'm gonna go with, we gotta

1:24:11

send one person out. I'll go, one of

1:24:13

the hostages. Sorry, I

1:24:15

laughed pretty hard at that, so that's my

1:24:18

golden dumpster. There's a vintage one that looks

1:24:20

pretty real for $90 on eBay. Really?

1:24:24

$90 hot sauce container. Already placed 100. Worth

1:24:27

it. Zach? Already outbid you. You

1:24:32

sucked that gun right out from under it. Sucked

1:24:35

it. Sucked it from my mouth.

1:24:37

Zach, you better bang him in the

1:24:39

mouth and get it back. With

1:24:41

delivery and estimated tax, it's 119.14. That's

1:24:44

a lot of taxes and delivery. But it looks

1:24:47

real. Zach. It looks real. Do

1:24:49

you know how much punani

1:24:52

you're gonna get when you pull out that,

1:24:54

like, oh my God, he's got an oozy.

1:24:57

Point it at her, she's like, oh. Then

1:24:59

at the last second, you tilt down towards

1:25:01

her taco and go, no, no, no, no,

1:25:03

no, no. What? Her burrito? Can

1:25:05

we get an infection? My golden dumpster is

1:25:08

gonna be the lone rangers describing

1:25:11

their musical vibe and landing on

1:25:14

power slop. And then I love

1:25:16

the callback with Steve Buscemi re-explaining

1:25:18

it to Susie with two Z's.

1:25:20

Well, Zach, you picked it motherfucker.

1:25:24

Motherfucker. I like that.

1:25:27

Oberphile. He's gonna breeze through

1:25:29

that, huh? It's an easy file. I love

1:25:31

this movie. I've always loved this movie. I've

1:25:33

seen it so many times. It's always gonna

1:25:35

be a file. I enjoy it every time.

1:25:37

Watch it on a Delta flight, get mazed,

1:25:39

send it to you. It's a file. Ian,

1:25:41

you're our guest. Oberphile. Goddamnphile. I love this

1:25:43

movie. I was shocked when I found out

1:25:45

it's the Rotten Tomatoes score eight years ago

1:25:47

when we did it on All Fantasy, Everything.

1:25:49

It was the inaugural episode of that podcast

1:25:51

for a reason. I love it. It's a

1:25:53

Comedy Central afternoon, all-time great. Hall of Famer,

1:25:55

raise the jersey. Put it up there. What

1:25:57

did you guys draft? We took their respective movie

1:25:59

careers. of Brendan Fraser, Adam

1:26:02

Sandler and Steve Busham and you could draft movies.

1:26:04

But you knew that because we said about two

1:26:06

hours ago. Well, he doesn't want to hold the

1:26:08

podcast up. So who went one overall download the

1:26:10

episode to find out. Is it still there? Is

1:26:12

it still available? Of course. Oh, we left it.

1:26:14

I, we don't, people got canceled. What did he

1:26:16

be? Of course. One person got canceled. There's a

1:26:18

guy, how about a hundred beavers and Coonskins. Oh,

1:26:21

I mean, that's right. That's what

1:26:24

we're doing here. It's going to be a

1:26:26

file for me, man. I really did not

1:26:28

want to like this movie. Wow. The weird

1:26:30

thing was I was thinking about this a

1:26:32

lot towards the end of the movie. I've

1:26:34

laughed more at Sandler in this

1:26:36

movie than any other movie I've ever seen them

1:26:39

in. Other than you don't

1:26:41

mess with the Zohan. Yeah. Yeah. We can

1:26:43

go ahead and finish off that sweep. It's

1:26:45

a file for me. Wow.

1:26:47

Suck it. Well, no, are we still

1:26:49

in it? Robbing it, sucking that sweet.

1:26:51

I know. He said, finish it off.

1:26:54

Oh, okay. What in America? Oh,

1:26:57

it had a completely ridiculous premise, but

1:26:59

I feel like they owned it to

1:27:01

a certain degree and all of the

1:27:03

supporting characters were great. Michael McKean, Joe

1:27:05

Mantegna, even Chris Farley running his errands.

1:27:07

I thought was hilarious. They did a

1:27:09

great job of making this absurd

1:27:12

premise work. And I liked

1:27:14

it. File whatever you do, do not

1:27:17

mess with the Zohan. Yes. Don't mess with the

1:27:20

Zohan. If you

1:27:22

want to listen to a podcast, listen to

1:27:24

this one. All fantasy, everything is fine. They've

1:27:27

got some good episodes with some good guests.

1:27:29

This is actually an episode of all fantasy,

1:27:31

everything. That's what you don't realize. Oh shit.

1:27:33

What? What? Mays

1:27:40

isn't even recording this shit. What was

1:27:42

the end bro? That's right. Isaac

1:27:45

Lee's somewhere in the background. Marissa, she

1:27:47

came back to this one. She came

1:27:49

back. Yeah. Make sure that you buy

1:27:51

my book t-shirt swim club. That's right.

1:27:53

I wrote it with Ian pretending

1:27:56

to be a sister. I am a

1:27:58

doctor though. It's in bookstores. 11th.

1:28:00

This has come out June 13th. Two

1:28:02

days ago. So it's already in bookstores,

1:28:04

but it still counts. It still counts.

1:28:07

Go buy it. Now, Ian, do you

1:28:09

get different amounts of money if it's

1:28:11

on Amazon to sell versus a brick

1:28:13

and mortar store? No, none of that.

1:28:15

I mean, I am a big believer

1:28:17

in supporting brick and mortar bookstores. Yes.

1:28:19

You're from Portland, which you can do

1:28:21

either in person or at bookshop.org. Oh,

1:28:23

also contractually. I have to say you

1:28:25

can get it on Amazon, Barnes and

1:28:27

Noble, all those places. You can get

1:28:29

it at powels.com Portland. Yeah.

1:28:31

I have made my money already. And

1:28:33

the only way I make more is

1:28:36

if they recoup their advance. Oh, so

1:28:38

that works. Yeah. Oh, I'm writing a

1:28:40

book right now. Yeah. So whatever you

1:28:43

do, don't go suck these bookstores.

1:28:46

Yes. But it helps me get to write another

1:28:48

book if it does well. And

1:28:50

I earnestly really truly believe everything I wrote in

1:28:52

this book and love it and think it'll help

1:28:54

people. Did you enjoy writing? I loved it. A

1:28:56

lot of people don't like writing books. The content

1:28:58

is one thing, but the actual process, did you

1:29:01

enjoy that? I loved it. Cause the thing I was

1:29:03

doing before that was writing on the late late show,

1:29:05

which I also enjoyed, but like I was seven years

1:29:07

into it and I was kind of run out that

1:29:09

thread of interesting things to do. So this

1:29:12

was me being able to write completely in my

1:29:14

own voice for my own perceived audience. You know

1:29:16

what I mean? So that was really satisfying. I

1:29:18

loved it. Even in the midst of it, people

1:29:20

say while they're writing a book, they never want

1:29:22

to write another book. I knew halfway through it.

1:29:24

I was like, I would like to do this

1:29:26

again. Wow. Yeah. I've got a concept for a

1:29:28

book for you. All right. I'll write it. I'll

1:29:30

tell you off air. Perfect. I don't have

1:29:32

a concept. It's going to be about sucking Brits. So

1:29:37

can off bangas. Yeah. Go buy the book.

1:29:40

If you don't, we're going to kill you. I'll kill you. We're

1:29:43

going to kill you with Uzi's full

1:29:45

of pepper sauce. Yep. Pepper sauce. Is

1:29:48

that what they call in England? They call it in

1:29:50

the movie that we just talked about from the movie.

1:29:52

Did you watch this? I did

1:29:54

it just the Wikipedia or Chester Shire. Next

1:29:56

time we make love. me

1:30:00

a chain. What's next? So there's

1:30:02

a movie that

1:30:05

I've been looking

1:30:08

at since I heard about

1:30:25

what it is that I've wanted to do

1:30:27

for this podcast, but it hasn't been streaming.

1:30:29

And now it is streaming for the first

1:30:32

time. It's on to

1:30:34

be, we're going back and fuck. I love

1:30:36

that app. It stars

1:30:39

Rucker, Howard, Gary Busey, John

1:30:41

C McGinley, F Murray

1:30:43

Abraham, Charles S Dutton, and they're

1:30:46

hunting ice tea. It's surviving the

1:30:48

game. Oh my God.

1:30:50

I saw this movie in Sudan and

1:30:52

have not seen it since. We'll see

1:30:54

if it holds up. Thank you.

1:30:56

Thank you. It's my pleasure. Here's a game. I don't

1:30:59

know what it is, but if you guys want to

1:31:01

play it on that episode, F

1:31:03

Murray kill some kind of F

1:31:05

Murray Abraham. Oh wait, give him

1:31:07

one more. Give yourself another Emmy.

1:31:09

You want to put the

1:31:11

beret on it. Me, me, me on

1:31:14

Paddy F Murray swing club in bookstores

1:31:17

now. I tend to praise

1:31:19

sex club. Our kids have

1:31:22

said to us since we moved to Minnesota, we are

1:31:24

far more active than we've ever been anywhere else. We've

1:31:26

ever lived moving to Minnesota opened

1:31:29

up a lot of doors for us. Just

1:31:31

this overall sense of community and of

1:31:33

values that you know, Minnesotans have. It's

1:31:36

a real accepting loving community, especially

1:31:38

with two young kids. See

1:31:41

what makes Minnesota the

1:31:43

star of the North.

1:31:45

New residents share why

1:31:47

they love calling it

1:31:49

home at exploreminnesota.com/live. Our

1:31:52

kids have said to us since we've moved to Minnesota,

1:31:54

we are far more active than we've ever been anywhere

1:31:56

else we've ever lived. Moving to

1:31:58

Minnesota opened up a lot of doors for us.

1:32:01

Just this overall sense of community,

1:32:03

the values that Minnesotans have. It's

1:32:06

a real accepting, loving community, especially

1:32:08

with two young kids. See

1:32:11

what makes Minnesota the Star of

1:32:13

the North. New residents share why

1:32:15

they love calling it home at

1:32:18

exploreminnesota.com/live. Our kids have

1:32:23

said to us since we moved to Minnesota we are

1:32:25

far more active than we've ever been anywhere else we've

1:32:27

ever lived. Moving to Minnesota opened

1:32:29

up a lot of doors for us. Just

1:32:31

this overall sense of community and of

1:32:34

values that you know Minnesotans have. It's

1:32:36

a real accepting, loving community

1:32:38

especially with two young kids.

1:32:41

See what makes Minnesota the star

1:32:43

of the north. New residents share

1:32:45

why they love calling it home

1:32:48

at exploreminnesota.com/live. Our kids have

1:32:53

said to us since we moved to Minnesota we are

1:32:55

far more active than we've ever been anywhere else we've

1:32:57

ever lived. Moving to Minnesota opened

1:33:00

up a lot of doors for us. Just

1:33:02

this overall sense of community and of

1:33:04

values that you know Minnesotans have. It's

1:33:07

a real accepting, loving community especially

1:33:09

with two young kids. See

1:33:11

what makes Minnesota the star of

1:33:14

the north. New residents share why

1:33:16

they love calling it home at

1:33:18

exploreminnesota.com/live. Our

1:33:23

kids have said to us since we moved to Minnesota

1:33:25

we are far more active than we've ever been anywhere

1:33:27

else we've ever lived. Moving to

1:33:29

Minnesota opened up a lot of doors for us.

1:33:32

Just this overall sense of community and

1:33:34

of values that you know Minnesotans have.

1:33:36

It's a real accepting, loving community

1:33:39

especially with two young kids. See

1:33:42

what makes Minnesota the star of

1:33:44

the north. New residents share why

1:33:46

they love calling it home at

1:33:49

exploreminnesota.com/live.