0:01

Hello and

0:04

welcome. The citation

0:08

needed. The podcast

0:11

where we choose

0:13

a subject, read

0:16

a single

0:28

article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're

0:30

experts. Because this is the internet. That's how

0:32

it works now. I'm Eli Bosnick and I'll

0:34

be fronting this fanfare of fakers tonight, but

0:37

I'll need a group of great big

0:39

phonies. First up, two guys who won't even

0:41

tell you their real names. No illusions and

0:43

Heath Enright. Yeah, no lying

0:45

about my name is my middle name. And

0:49

I'm actually Keith is my real name. And

0:54

also joining us tonight, two men who were

0:56

faking it before it was cool. Tom and

0:58

Cecil. Yeah, that's actually why I

1:00

arch my back every time I answer

1:02

one of your phone calls. I

1:05

am also here. I see so

1:09

tears. Hi. Before we begin

1:11

tonight, I'd like to thank

1:13

our patrons. Patrons, you make

1:15

this little feel like the

1:17

vars real. You are

1:19

the treasury stamp that keeps the chiching in

1:21

our swing. And if you'd like to

1:23

learn how to join their ranks, be sure to stick around to the

1:25

end of the show. And with that out of the way, tell us,

1:27

Tom, what legendary

1:30

person place thing concept,

1:32

phenomenon or event we'll

1:34

be talking about today. Today we'll

1:37

be discussing my personal hero,

1:39

Frank Buras. This guy's awesome.

1:42

I'm so excited. Love him.

1:44

Yes. So Tom, you've

1:46

apparently found a guy with a job slightly more

1:48

fraudulent than your own. Are you ready to gloat?

1:51

If by gloat, you mean take copious notes,

1:53

then yes. So who

1:56

was Frank Barasa? I've

2:00

always sort of resented the idea

2:02

of working. Wait, wait a

2:04

swerve out of the way of the question there, Tom.

2:06

Thank you, Noah. Thank you. I'm glad you

2:08

noticed. You know, I mean, honestly, the

2:10

whole system just feels like a scam.

2:13

Like my life and all the activities

2:15

of earning too closely mimic just a

2:17

very complex ATM machine. Sit

2:19

in front of a computer, hit the right keys

2:21

in the right order, wait a little while, money

2:23

spits out of the system. Say the right words,

2:26

the right person, you get the same result. The

2:28

goal for me has never been the work,

2:30

but that result, the cash, and

2:33

all the activity that leads up to a payday

2:35

feels like just a petty annoyance,

2:37

the dance that must be done for

2:39

the dollars to spit out of the machine. This

2:42

is likely why the story of Frank Barasa, the

2:45

greatest counterfeiter in the world, struck such

2:47

a chord for me. Here was a

2:49

man whose life's mission was to cut

2:52

out the middleman of labor for money

2:54

and just make the actual fucking

2:57

money itself. Yeah, that is if

2:59

you don't mind victimizing treasury margin

3:01

points, Tom. Is that what you

3:03

want to do? Do you want

3:05

to murder treasury

3:08

margin points? Nobody

3:11

wants to work these days, I'll tell you. He's

3:14

like, what's a treasury margin point? Thank

3:17

you, Heath. I asked chat GPT why

3:19

the courtroom is bad. And

3:22

they program it real hard to tell you not to

3:24

do crimes. And it was like, come on, man, you

3:26

know, it's fine. What are you, don't bother me. It's

3:29

not, it's not. I got 8 billion people trying to

3:31

make me a sexy Japanese lady right now. And you

3:33

got to give me this shit. I'm the owner of

3:35

the lot. As long as only like a couple of

3:37

people do it. I was Scarlett Johansson for a week

3:39

at Rold and then she yelled at me. Even

3:44

as an adolescent, Frank was a hustler.

3:47

He figured out that making money was

3:49

the result of bridging the gap between

3:51

what someone wanted and what they didn't

3:53

have. And if you could be that

3:55

bridge, the rewards were handsome indeed. From

3:58

his hometown in a suburb outside. outside of Quebec at the

4:00

age of 12, Frank

4:03

noticed that there was something of

4:05

a thriving underground marketplace at his

4:07

school of shoplifted goods, mainly clothes.

4:10

Some enterprising students in his seventh grade class

4:12

were light fingered enough to get the goods,

4:14

but not quite sharp enough to turn their

4:16

stolen merchandise into much of a profit for

4:19

themselves. Frank figured he

4:21

could act as the fence for the stolen

4:23

clothes. At 12 in seventh grade, he

4:26

became a fence for the stolen clothes, buying up

4:28

that stolen stuff and turning it around to kids

4:30

looking for a deal and making

4:32

a tidy profit for himself in the process. Frank's

4:36

first foray into felonious finery flipping

4:38

netted him hundreds of dollars a

4:40

week. Thank you, in a

4:42

fairly short order. Oh sure, but what I do. And

4:44

according to Frank, you do it badly. It

4:46

was, yeah, you gotta do it well. You gotta do a good job. Don't

4:49

just type in the chat GPT buddy. I'm

4:52

just, random alliteration doesn't work

4:54

as well. According to

4:56

Frank, quote, it was great. It gave me

4:58

a very nice boost toward independence. Just Frank

5:00

in the hallway of his high school being

5:03

like, pssst, that's Z-Cav-R-E

5:05

cheese sports. Who needs

5:07

pleats? Come on. Tight

5:11

rolls here, I got tight rolls. I

5:15

kept up the fencing racket until he was 15, at

5:18

which time he was expelled from school and

5:20

also from his family home. I didn't want

5:22

to boost my independence that much, mom. Come

5:24

on. Oh,

5:28

Frank then took up the wrench and began

5:30

working as a mechanic. But a detail I

5:32

love because he's 15. And

5:35

there's absolutely nothing I could find that indicates that he

5:37

was trained for that work in any way. Oh,

5:40

fix it. It didn't matter

5:42

because fairly swiftly, Frank once again saw

5:44

opportunity, this time in stolen car parts

5:47

and then just straight up

5:49

selling those stolen cars. And he kept that

5:51

up until his mid twenties. Listen, I know

5:53

I'm the new guy here, but like it

5:56

starts as a full car, guys. I feel like we're making

5:58

it harder than half the beat, right? This

6:02

point, Frank briefly tried to go straight and

6:05

he launched his own business. This was a

6:07

factory that made brake pads. What do you think

6:09

is just about the most insane thing to just start

6:12

doing out of nowhere? Oh, no, Tom,

6:14

sorry. As someone who's paid to have

6:16

their brake pads replaced this year, I

6:18

can confirm it's actually very similar to

6:20

stealing cars. And

6:25

this was insane because owning and

6:27

running any business on your own is

6:29

just a mountain of work. But

6:31

running your own factory, well, that's

6:34

a mountain of mountains. And Frank was routinely

6:36

working 20 hours a day to keep up

6:38

with the ridiculous demands of the job. On

6:41

paper, the business was a success. But

6:44

Frank? Frank was not. His

6:47

health began to suffer and he began

6:49

to sweat and shake constantly. He had

6:51

panic attacks and eventually he had a

6:53

nervous breakdown. Pussy. Noah

6:55

had a heart attack mid edit and he

6:57

finished, damn it. He finished. Still

7:00

here today. And he did the edit. Did

7:03

the edit, yeah. So Frank, Frank

7:06

made two important decisions. Thank you.

7:09

No one gets it. This guy knows what I'm

7:11

talking about. So

7:15

Frank, he made two important decisions. The first

7:17

was that he was going to sell the

7:19

business, which he did for a nice profit.

7:21

And the second was that he was never

7:24

going to make money in any non-criminal business

7:26

again. It simply was not worth

7:28

his time and effort. After traveling

7:30

the world for a couple of years with his

7:32

girlfriend on his brake pad factory sale money, Frank

7:35

returned to Canada and set up shop

7:37

growing and selling weed. Okay. So

7:39

you know, Tom, I am going to find a hero of yours that

7:42

you don't know about and I am going to essay him. In

7:49

2006, a few years into his weed enterprise,

7:51

he was caught and arrested, but since he

7:53

was Canadian, he served only a handful of

7:55

months before being released. And

7:57

this is the point at which Frank's life. Much

10:00

of the most important information about

10:02

the specific details of American currency

10:05

can be found fairly simply on government

10:07

websites. Specifically, the secret

10:09

recipe for American paper was the

10:12

most important detail. Pretty

10:14

much any asshole can scan and print a $20 bill

10:16

and it will look like a $20 bill, but

10:19

it still won't pass muster because it won't feel

10:21

like a real $20 bill. There

10:24

is a unique texture and feel to

10:26

American money that is instantly recognizable at

10:29

first touch. If you cannot counterfeit the

10:31

feel of the money, you

10:33

cannot counterfeit the money at all. The

10:35

other secret is storing it for a

10:37

couple of weeks in your butt crack

10:39

to give it the right level of

10:41

pathogens, you know? Make that joke as

10:43

often as you want Cecil. Nobody's ever

10:46

going to believe that's what you were

10:48

doing with those. Science! Science is what

10:50

I was doing. Frank, bouncing

10:54

around to different internet cafes so as to never

10:56

do his research in the same place twice, eventually

10:59

figured out that the paper of American money was

11:01

actually a blend of 75% cotton

11:04

and 25% linen and

11:06

that there was actually only one paper

11:08

mill in the entire country that made

11:10

this paper. In fact, the mill that

11:12

makes paper for American money, Crane &

11:14

Co., only makes American money

11:16

and nothing else. They've done it since 1879.

11:18

It's actually right next to where I went

11:20

to college. It's in Dalton, Massachusetts. I've driven

11:22

right past it and my buddy who lived

11:25

in Dalton who went to the same college,

11:27

when we passed it he was like, yeah, you can't see it

11:29

right now but if you get like 20 feet

11:32

closer with your dumbass old Volvo, a bunch

11:34

of guys with AK-47s will pop

11:37

out real fast. I don't dump that at

11:39

all. So

11:42

while Frank had the ratio for the paper,

11:45

he didn't have a supplier and his email

11:47

queries he initially sent out were pretty much

11:49

immediately clocked to some idiot trying to get,

11:51

well, counterfeit paper. So he

11:53

was going to need a very different

11:55

approach. Yeah, that paper company also makes

11:57

a really amazing paper money lobbyist. It's

20:00

worth it. What do I do?

20:02

Oh, I import Swiss paper in the

20:04

most paranoid way possible. Right?

20:08

The moral of this story is that this

20:10

is all still less stressful than your average

20:12

nine to five. Oh,

20:16

finally, the paper was driven to its destination.

20:18

This was a barn owned by a farmer

20:20

who rented him to space without asking a

20:23

lot of questions. Frank was

20:25

finally ready. What are you going to do with

20:27

my barn? Who fucking cares? At

20:32

night, after his girlfriend was asleep, Frank would

20:34

sneak out of their house, drive to the

20:36

barn, we'd work all night on the printing

20:38

press churning out dollar dollar bills,

20:40

y'all. In the morning, he would return

20:42

before his girlfriend awoke, make her breakfast

20:44

and slip into bed. And

20:47

the only one who knew what Frank was up to was okay.

20:50

You guys are picturing Frank as Tom this whole

20:52

time. 100% correct. Absolutely. Sitting

20:54

on a folding chair in a

20:56

barn, big smile on his face,

20:58

giant machines spitting out. He's

21:01

taser alarm clock, wake up, get back. He

21:06

hits snooze three times, gets electrocuted. Yeah.

21:11

Frank knew that the most dangerous part of the

21:13

operation was going to be fencing the counterfeit cash

21:15

and that the best way to do this successfully

21:17

was to print all 250 million

21:20

dollars before starting to sell any

21:22

of it. Once he

21:25

began selling the money, his anonymity would

21:27

necessarily be forever gone. So for five

21:29

months, Frank toiled all night every day

21:31

until he had printed a quarter of

21:34

a billion dollars in US $20 bills.

21:38

He was now very, very rich, but he needed

21:40

to move the money before he could really do

21:43

anything with it. All right.

21:45

Well, apparently the real challenge to a quarter

21:47

of a billion dollars is spending

21:49

it. So while I hold onto my seat,

21:52

we'll take a quick break for some apropos

21:54

of nothing. Mr.

22:00

Smith, thanks so much

22:02

for your visit. No

22:13

problem. How's everything coming with my order? It's

22:15

great. Great. We just,

22:17

we had a few questions. Sure. Yes, of course. Right.

22:21

So at first you wanted a 70 30 blend and, and

22:23

then an 80 20 blend and when then we settled on

22:27

75 25. Yes.

22:30

Right. Well, we

22:33

noticed that's the exact same blend

22:35

as us. Well, are

22:38

they? Well, you

22:40

know, my nation won't mind that

22:42

similarity. Right. Yes. What

22:45

nation is that again? Oh, is that

22:47

still one? Yes. Yes.

22:51

Yes. Yes. And that's the

22:53

one that is the one. Right. So

22:56

another thing about the cutter that you sent to

22:58

us. Ah, yes. The cutter. Yes.

23:02

How is it working? Well, it's, it's works fine.

23:04

It just, it came in a box labeled property of

23:06

the U S mint. Oh yeah.

23:09

Yeah. They, they

23:11

used to work for altoids.

23:15

The paper cutter did. Yes. Yeah.

23:19

It's for those boxes. I think. Aren't

23:22

aren't the altitude boxes metal? Yep.

23:24

Yes. They

23:26

are. Right. Uh, Mr.

23:29

Smith, um, I'll just ask you directly.

23:32

Are you making counterfeit money? Yes.

23:37

Oh, thank goodness. We

23:39

were worried you were making those Christian pamphlets

23:42

that look like money. Oh, fuck

23:44

no. What kind of asshole do you think I am?

23:46

I know. Right. Right.

23:49

Joe came into Chelsea Groton for a home

23:51

equity loan. He left with great ideas to

23:53

fund a kitchen renovation, a new car, and

23:55

to consolidate some debt. That's the thing with

23:57

Chelsea Groton. People like Joe don't

24:00

just come. to us for a home equity loan

24:02

or a mortgage, they come for the advice that

24:04

goes with them. Imagine that, a banker who will

24:06

sit with you, listen, and put together a plan

24:08

to make your home work harder for you today

24:11

and in the future. Go Joe. Stop

24:13

by any branch or visit chelseagroughton.com.

24:16

Remember FDIC Equal Housing Lender. Start

24:19

your summer road trip at Midas and get up to

24:21

$30 off your next repair service. Plus, get a free

24:23

closer look vehicle check to make sure you're road trip

24:25

ready. If you need brake service, an alignment check, or

24:27

tune up, hit up Midas for up to $30 off.

24:31

For more details, request your appointment

24:33

at midas.com. And

24:49

we're back. When we left

24:52

off, Frank was doing a thing

24:54

the government does, but with significantly

24:56

less money going to the military

24:58

industrial complex. What happened next, Tom?

25:02

Do you think we print cash and then

25:04

buy military stuff with it from ourselves? I

25:06

don't know that we don't. Like we... I

25:09

got tanks here. I

25:11

got tanks. I

25:16

know equal to that statement about what our

25:18

government does with money. These are just words

25:20

he's learned. Thank you. These are

25:22

just words he's learned. All of this is translated.

25:24

I'm just speaking fanatically. So when the Fed does

25:26

monetary policy and they like inject money into the

25:29

economy, you're like, oh, they're printing more paper money

25:31

and he's like actually growing it. He actually is

25:33

seeing a giant syringe full of money for the

25:35

injection. Right, yeah. So they had to make a

25:37

million dollar bill and give it to themselves. I

25:41

read that on the

25:43

mentalfloss.com. So

25:48

Frank had been selling drugs now for a lot of

25:50

years and he thought he was fairly well connected. But

25:53

if selling drugs is dangerous, selling

25:55

money is doubly so. And many of his

25:58

connections even high up on the criminal. Hey

34:00

Frank, I'm your new coworker,

34:03

cop officerton. Wondering if

34:05

you can help me with a school project for my kid.

34:07

I want to print 250 million dollars. During

34:15

the year leading up to his court

34:17

date, Frank's attorney negotiated a deal with

34:19

prosecutors that Frank would plead guilty in

34:22

exchange for a three-year sentence, which meant

34:24

that Frank would really only serve about

34:26

six months in Canadian prison. I

34:28

can't explain how much I would be such a

34:30

good deal. This is I would do

34:32

it in the middle of this podcast. Eli,

34:35

just me and you playing chess, reading

34:38

books. Absolutely fucking each other. It's the

34:40

best. I'm

34:43

so happy we said fucking it. Not

34:46

trapped in a room. I can't leave. He

34:48

said in a room he can't leave. This

34:51

was already a great deal for Frank, but he

34:53

had an even better idea. He wanted to

34:55

go to court and walking into the

34:57

courtroom for his plea. Frank asked his

34:59

lawyers. Hey, if I had 200 million

35:02

dollars, can you do something with that? Hey

35:05

Frank, can I talk to you in the hallway real

35:07

quick? Just us doing all right. Okay,

35:09

awesome. Now we're in the hallway. We're going to

35:11

a different building's hallway. That would be awesome to

35:13

talk about this. Fuck.

35:17

Obviously 200 million dollars is an

35:19

enormous amount of fake currency and the authorities

35:22

had an obligation not to allow that money

35:24

to enter circulation. And so the prosecutors came

35:26

to the table, but Frank

35:28

held all the cards. He held 200

35:31

million of them. In fact, well,

35:33

I they were 20. So 10 he had

35:35

10 million. This

35:37

is Everest all over again. So

35:41

they ironed out a deal where Frank would give them

35:44

the printing press and 200 million dollars

35:46

in counterfeit money in exchange for Frank

35:48

getting a sentence of time

35:50

served and all proceedings

35:53

against his girlfriend being dropped as well as

35:55

the return to her of all of her

35:57

seized property and he gets his car back.

36:00

His car? His prosecutors, his car, they

36:02

took his car. We got your Honda. Ha

36:05

ha. Ha ha. Ha ha.

36:07

Ha ha. Where are you gonna drive?

36:10

So they had a deal going, and he was like, one more thing.

36:14

You're breaking my balls. I need that

36:16

Honda. Ha ha ha. For real. Now,

36:19

prosecutors very angrily agreed, though Frank would have

36:21

to pay a fine of a

36:23

little less than $1,500. Oh

36:26

wow. Canadian. It is not

36:28

at all clear Frank asked if they took cash.

36:30

They're using that pink pen on every bill for

36:32

that $1,500. Ha ha ha.

36:35

Gonna take a while. They're gonna sit

36:37

down. Do you accept Snickers

36:39

and Pepsi for your friends? Ha ha ha ha ha ha

36:41

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

36:43

ha ha. What about quits? The

36:46

last best hope for prosecutors was to

36:48

somehow get their hands on the printing

36:50

press and the cash before the date

36:52

agreed upon in the deal for the

36:55

turnover. If they could get to the

36:57

money first, then Frank would lose all

36:59

of his leverage. The deal would be

37:01

dead. Frank was worried that

37:03

the farmer whose barn that all this shit

37:05

was stored in was gonna eat shit himself

37:07

if it was found on his property. So

37:09

Frank had to come up with a way

37:11

to move the press and the money out

37:13

of the barn with no annoying while he

37:15

was under intense and constant surveillance. I am

37:17

rooting so hard for Frank at this point.

37:19

I'm praying. I'm doing whatever praying

37:22

is, is what I'm doing. But

37:25

Frank had a plan for this as well. Before

37:27

striking the deal with the prosecutors,

37:30

Frank had already moved the money.

37:32

One of Frank's friends loaded the pallets of

37:35

cash and the printing press into a box

37:37

truck. And they drove the box truck to

37:39

a hotel managed by a different friend who

37:41

had no idea what the truck contained, but

37:43

who agreed to keep an eye on it

37:45

for a while, which I absolutely would have

37:47

agreed to and which I also 100% would

37:49

have opened in the first 15

37:51

minutes that it was on my property. I

37:53

can't be trusted with secrets. Anyway, that

37:55

box truck packed with $200 million in

37:58

counterfeit 20s, that in the

38:00

parking lot of a hotel for two

38:02

months secured by a hardware

38:05

store pad. Y'all

38:08

think you guys have any friends that you could trust with

38:11

your $200 million in cash? No

38:16

offense to anyone present, but I don't feel like I

38:18

do. It's not me. You cannot trust me.

38:20

Yeah. I was going to say, Tom, and now I can't.

38:22

Fuck. I

38:24

would trust you, but I would steal that money. Like

38:29

it goes one direction, but really does. Yeah.

38:32

I would be making this relationship,

38:34

Tom. Jesus. On

38:39

the agreed upon date, Frank led the cops to

38:41

the truck. They popped the rinky

38:43

dink bullshit padlock and there in a

38:46

parking lot of some skeezy hotel was

38:48

all $200 million of the

38:50

promised cash and the Heidelberg

38:53

offset printing press. Obviously wasn't

38:55

a master lock because you can shoot those

38:57

with a shotgun and they won't understand. Frank

39:01

had kept up his end of the deal and

39:03

so prosecutors had no choice but to keep theirs,

39:06

but Frank wasn't done yet. Remember Frank had sold

39:08

only a few million of the counterfeit cash to

39:10

buyers and he had now given up to the

39:13

feds $200 million, but he printed 250 million dollars,

39:15

which by now the U S secret

39:22

service had figured out based on the size

39:24

of the paper order. Tens

39:26

of millions of counterfeit dollars

39:28

were completely unaccounted for and

39:30

neither U S nor Canadian

39:32

authorities had any leverage in

39:34

this situation whatsoever. Frank

39:37

Barassa now works as a consultant

39:39

for governments and businesses looking to

39:42

avoid counterfeiters. The

39:44

$50 million that Frank still has somewhere

39:46

scrolled away fenced at 30 cents on

39:48

the dollar means he has a secret

39:51

stash of almost $15 million

39:53

and absolutely no

39:55

one but him knows where it

39:57

is. Also in favor of the

40:00

I do want to say that the Into the

40:02

Shadows YouTube channel is where I learned this story

40:04

rather than Wikipedia It's actually a really great channel.

40:06

I encourage people to check it out Alright

40:08

and Tom if you had to summarize what you learned

40:11

in one sentence, what would it be? Yeah,

40:14

next time don't sell the money for money. Just

40:16

use the money as money Alright,

40:18

and are you ready for the quiz? I've

40:20

got my Heidelberg offset printing press and plates ready to

40:22

go Eli All right,

40:25

Tom Are you

40:27

Frank Barassa? A. Yes. B. No wink

40:35

I don't know what you're talking about C.

40:38

It's a HIPAA violation moving on got it.

40:40

You betcha. Winks All

40:43

right, so having worked in retail for a

40:45

huge portion of my life I've had a

40:47

few encounters with counterfeit currency, which was the

40:49

dumbest A. When I

40:51

was working at a gas station and a guy

40:53

tried to pretend one of those bullshit religious tracks

40:55

Was a real $10 bill by holding it just

40:58

a little bit out of the corner from behind

41:00

all the rest of his money As

41:02

though I wasn't gonna have to hold it at some fucking

41:04

point But

41:06

it was a hundred dollar bill. It was a fake hundred

41:08

dollar bill But he didn't think I'd buy that so he

41:11

just hold me held out the one and the zero Was

41:14

it B when I was delivering pizza and

41:16

a dude tried to give me what was

41:18

very clearly a $20 bill printed on regular-ass

41:20

paper And

41:22

then just ran through the dryer a

41:24

bunch of times and then when

41:27

I told him dude This is obviously fake.

41:29

He cried and said his brother-in-law could go

41:31

fuck himself Or

41:34

see When the

41:36

cops were following up on that last one

41:38

and they brought me a lineup of dollar

41:40

bills to choose the one I'd seen From

41:43

one of which was the damn near notebook paper dollar

41:45

bill that I got and the other three of which

41:47

were real Say

41:52

give me the keys you fuck They

41:55

had they had like two of them that

41:57

were really crumbled up like his but one

41:59

of them like they could clearly only find

42:01

two like actual old crumpled up funnies. So

42:03

they had clearly just crumbled one up themselves.

42:05

That was the last one. That

42:09

was CC was the last one. Oh, I have to guess.

42:11

I forgot. I was afraid that I

42:13

actually have to pick one. It's D secret answer,

42:15

all of the above. It is all of the

42:17

above. They were equally stupid. All right, Tom. Frank

42:19

was a master at committing crimes in

42:21

plain sight. What was the name of

42:23

his brilliantly hidden business front?

42:26

A, his kitchen cabinetry

42:29

business, counterfeit. B,

42:31

his handmade knife shop called forged. His,

42:37

C, his IVF clinic

42:39

reproduction, not allowed in

42:42

Alabama, or D telecommunications

42:45

outfit, phony. Phony,

42:48

oh shit. All

42:51

right, I like phony. Phony it is. I

42:54

am sorry. It's

42:56

a counterfeit. Counterfeit

42:58

is also the case. Right? That's

43:01

right. Yeah, that's your run. Cecil, you would not

43:03

betray Tom's trust for $200 million. So

43:05

you're the winner. He really

43:08

wouldn't. I wouldn't know. Well, I wouldn't know. I

43:10

would betray your trust for $200 million Tom, but

43:12

I wouldn't know the $200 million. I

43:15

know you wouldn't open it. Right, but one of

43:17

those guys had to load $200 million into

43:20

the fucking truck. That's the guy I'm talking about.

43:23

Trust me when not to look into your truck,

43:25

but you cannot trust me to load your $200

43:27

million. It was all in, it was all boxed

43:29

up. I should have said that. You can't emphasize,

43:31

and I can't emphasize enough that you cannot trust

43:33

me to look into your truck. You

43:36

can't trust me with a medicine cabinet that

43:39

doesn't lock. I'm just letting you all know

43:41

right now, I'm taking one of

43:43

everything. Cecil, when? It's

43:46

Noah. All right, well,

43:48

for Tom, no sir. No

43:51

sir? Cecil and Eli. I'm Eli

43:54

Bosnick. Jesus. You missed one. You

43:57

did it twice. Let's go back. You missed bro.

44:00

Noah, Cecil, and Heath, and

44:02

Eli, thank you for hanging out

44:04

with us today. Sorry, I was thinking about how quickly

44:06

I would betray you all for 200 million dollars. I

44:10

was salivating with it. I

44:13

was glad Nosa didn't turn into some kind

44:15

of racist cat cartoon character. Be careful, you

44:17

give him too much airtime and all of

44:19

a sudden he's a voice and it's bibbity-bobbity-boo.

44:22

All right, we'll be back next week and by

44:24

then, Noah will be an expert on something else.

44:26

Between now and then, you can listen to our

44:28

other podcasts or teach us

44:30

how to do that counterfeit because I would love

44:32

to do that. Just

44:34

don't trust me. Anyways, if you'd

44:37

like to help keep the show going,

44:39

you can make a per episode donation

44:41

at patreon.com/citationpod. For instance, if you

44:43

have 50 million dollars lying around and you want to

44:45

put it into our podcast, we could do that. Or

44:48

leave us a five star review everywhere you can.

44:50

And if you'd like to get in touch with

44:52

us, check out past episodes, connect with us on

44:54

social media, or check the show notes. Be sure

44:56

to check out citationpod.com. We'll

44:59

buy it for 31% or more. Absolutely,

45:02

whatever your number is. Whatever it is, we'll figure

45:04

it out. We'll do it. We're great at fencing

45:06

money. And

45:11

some people leave him as

45:13

tips for servers. Honestly, that

45:15

makes my skin crawl. Right?

45:19

So who's buying your fake money? I

45:22

don't know. Probably terrorists or

45:24

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