0:07

Everybody eyes and

0:10

have sunflower measurement. Isn't

0:13

that so You've tried to get

0:15

into the long draw today, didn't you

0:17

try?

0:19

The magic Sharpe by

0:21

h g wells.

0:22

I

0:23

had seen the magic shot from afar several

0:26

times.

0:27

I'd passed it once or twice, a shop

0:29

window of alluring little objects, magic

0:32

balls, magic hands, wonderful

0:34

cones, ventriloquist dolls,

0:36

the material of the basket trick,

0:39

packs of cards that look to arrive,

0:42

and all that sort of thing. but

0:44

never had I thought of going in until

0:46

one day. Almost without warning, Jib

0:48

hold me by my finger right up to the

0:50

window. and so conducted himself

0:53

that there was nothing for it but to take

0:55

him in. I had not thought

0:57

the place was there to tell the truth. a

0:59

modest sized frontage in Regent

1:01

Street between the picture shop

1:03

and the place where the chicks run about just

1:05

out of patent incubators. but

1:08

there it was Sharpe enough. I

1:10

had fancied it was down near the circus

1:12

or around the corner in Oxford Street

1:14

or even in Hoboken. always

1:17

over the way and a little inaccessible

1:19

it had been with something of a mirage in

1:21

its position. But here it was

1:23

now quite indisputably. and

1:26

the fat end of Chip's pointing finger made

1:28

a noise upon the glass. If

1:30

I was rich, said Chip dabbing

1:32

a finger at the disappearing egg, I bomb myself

1:35

that. and that which

1:37

was the crying bay being very human

1:39

and that which was a mystery and

1:41

called so a neat car deserted

1:44

by one. and astonish your friends.

1:47

Anything such as it will disappear under one

1:49

of those codes. I've read about it in a book.

1:51

And their data is that vanishing Tony only

1:53

they've put it this way says we can't see how it's done.

1:56

Jib, Dear Boy, inherits his mother's

1:58

breeding, and he did not propose

2:00

to enter the shop or worry in any way

2:03

only you know quite unconsciously. He

2:05

loved my finger doorwood, and he

2:08

made his interest clear. he

2:10

said, and pointed to the magic bottle.

2:12

If you had that, I

2:15

said at which promising inquiry he looked

2:17

up with the sudden radiance.

2:18

I could show it to Jesse, he said,

2:21

thoughtful as ever of others. It's

2:23

less than a hundred days to your birthday

2:25

gipples, I said, and laid my

2:27

hand on the door handle.

2:29

GIP

2:29

made no answer but his grip

2:31

tightened on my finger and so.

2:33

We

2:33

came into the shop.

2:35

It was no common this. It

2:38

was a magic and

2:40

all the prancing precedents that Gip

2:42

would have taken in the matter of mere toys

2:44

was wanting. he left

2:46

the burden of the conversation to me.

2:49

It was a little narrow Sharpe, not

2:51

very well lit, and the doorbell pinged

2:53

again with a note as we closed it

2:55

behind us. For a moment

2:57

or so, we were alone and

2:59

could dance about us. There

3:01

was a tiger in papier mache

3:03

on the glass case that covered the low counter,

3:05

a grave kind eyed tiger

3:08

that waggled his head in a methodical manner.

3:11

There were several crystal spheres, a

3:13

China hand holding magic cards.

3:16

A stock of magic fishbowls in sizes

3:18

and an modest magic hat

3:21

that shamelessly displayed its springs.

3:24

On the floor, magic mirrors want to draw

3:26

you out long and thin, want to swell

3:28

you head and vanish your Wells, and

3:30

one to make you short and fat like a

3:32

draught. And why we were laughing

3:34

at these, the man, as

3:36

I suppose,

3:37

came in. At

3:39

any rate, there he was behind

3:41

the counter, a curious, shallow,

3:44

dark man with one ear larger than

3:46

the other and a chin like the toe

3:48

cap of a boot.

3:50

What can we have the pleasure, he said,

3:52

spreading his long magic fingers on the

3:54

glass case? And so with a

3:57

start, we were aware of him.

3:59

I want,

3:59

I said, to buy my little boy a few simple

4:02

tricks. Lejardins, he

4:04

asked mechanical, domestic, anything

4:07

amusing? Said I, said

4:09

the Sharpe in scratch he said for a moment

4:12

as if thinking, Then quite

4:14

distinctly, he drew from his head a glass

4:16

ball,

4:17

something this way he said

4:18

and held it down.

4:20

The action was unexpected. I'd

4:23

seen the trick down the entertainments endless

4:25

times before. It's

4:26

part of the common stock of conjures, but

4:28

I

4:28

had not expected it here.

4:31

That's good. I said with a laugh,

4:33

isn't it? Said the man.

4:36

Gib stretched out his disengaged hand

4:38

to take this object and found merely

4:40

a blank palm. It's

4:42

a new pocket to the shot man.

4:45

and there it was. How

4:47

much Wells that be? I ask,

4:49

we make no charge for glass balls

4:51

at the Sharpe man politely. We

4:53

get them. He picked one out of his elbows.

4:56

He spoke

4:56

free.

4:57

He produced another from the back of his

5:00

neck and laid it beside its predecessor

5:02

on the counter. Gip regarded

5:04

his glass bowl sagely, then

5:06

directed the look of inquiry at the

5:08

two on the counter, and finally

5:10

brought his round eyed scrutiny to the

5:12

shop man. who smiled.

5:13

You

5:15

may have those two, said the shot man, and

5:17

if you don't mind, one from

5:19

my mouth,

5:20

so.

5:21

Gibb counselled me mutely for a

5:24

moment and then in a profound

5:26

silence put away the four balls

5:28

resumed my reassuring finger.

5:31

and nerfed himself for the next event.

5:33

We get all our smaller tricks

5:35

in that way, the man remarked. I

5:37

laughed in the manner of one who subscribes

5:39

to adjust, instead of going to the

5:41

wholesale I said, of course, it's

5:43

cheaper. In a way,

5:45

the shop man said, don't we pay in the

5:47

end, but not so heavily as people

5:50

suppose. our larger tricks

5:52

and our daily provisions and all the other

5:54

things we want. We get out of

5:56

that hat. And you know, sir,

5:58

if you don't excuse my saying

5:59

it, There

6:01

isn't a wholesale shop.

6:03

Not for genuine magic, good, sir.

6:05

I don't know if you noticed our inscription,

6:08

but genuine

6:10

magic shop. He drew

6:11

a business card from his cheek

6:14

and handed it to me. Genuine,

6:16

he said, with his finger on the

6:18

word and added, there is

6:20

absolutely no deception,

6:23

sir. He seemed to be carrying

6:25

out the joke pretty thoroughly, I thought.

6:27

He

6:27

turned to Gip with a smile of remarkable

6:29

affability.

6:31

You, you know, are the right sort

6:33

of boy. I was surprised that he's

6:35

knowing that because in the interests of discipline,

6:38

we keep it rather a secret even

6:40

at home. But Jib received it

6:42

in unflinching silence, keeping

6:45

a steadfast eye on him.

6:47

It's only the right sort of boy gets through

6:49

that doorway. And as

6:51

if by way of illustration, there came

6:53

a rattling at the door and a

6:55

squeaking little voice could be faintly

6:57

head. No. I wanna go

6:58

in there. They don't wanna go in there.

7:01

And then, the

7:02

accents of a downtrodden parent urging

7:04

constellations and propitiations

7:06

It's it's locked Edward, he said,

7:09

but it isn't. Said I.

7:11

It

7:11

is, sir. Said the shop man, always.

7:14

for

7:14

that sort of child.

7:16

And as he spoke, we had a glimpse

7:18

of the other youngster, a little

7:20

white face, pallid from sweet

7:22

eating, and overhyped food

7:24

and distorted by evil

7:26

passions, a ruthless little

7:29

egotist, poying at the

7:31

enchanted pain.

7:32

It's no good, sir, set the sharp man

7:34

as I moved with my natural helpfulness

7:37

door wood. And

7:38

presently, the spoiled child was

7:40

carried off howling. do

7:42

you manage that? I said, breathing

7:44

a little more freely. Magic said

7:47

the man with a careless

7:49

wave of the hand and behold. Sparks

7:52

of colored fire flew out of his

7:54

fingers and vanished into the shadows

7:56

of the Sharpe. You

7:57

were saying, he said, addressing himself to

7:59

Jib before

7:59

you came in, that you would

8:02

like one of our buy one and Tony

8:04

your friend's boxes. Jib,

8:07

after a gallant effort said, yes.

8:10

Tony new pocket. In leaning

8:12

over the counter, he really had an

8:14

extraordinarily long body.

8:17

This amazing person produced Sharpe article

8:19

in the customary conjurer's manner,

8:21

paper, he said, and

8:22

took out a sheet of the empty heart with the

8:24

springs, string, and

8:26

behold, His mouth was a string

8:28

box from which he drew an unending

8:30

thread, which when he had tied his

8:32

parcel, he bit off. and it

8:34

seemed to me swallowed the

8:37

ballast string. And then he lit

8:39

a candle at the nose of one of the ventriculariquis

8:41

dummies stuck one of his fingers which

8:43

had become seeding wax red

8:45

into the flame and so

8:47

sealed the parcel. Then

8:50

was the disappearing egg,

8:52

he remarked, and produced one

8:54

from within my coat, breast, and

8:56

patted, and also the crying baby

8:58

very human. I handed each

9:00

parcel to Jip as it was ready, and he

9:02

clasped them to his chest. He

9:05

said very little, but his eyes

9:07

were eloquent. the clutch of his arms was

9:09

eloquent. He was the

9:11

playground of unspeakable emotions.

9:13

These, you know, were

9:15

real magics. Then

9:17

with the start, I discovered something moving

9:19

about in my hat, something soft and

9:21

jumpy. I whipped it off and

9:23

a ruffled pigeon No doubt a

9:25

confederate dropped out and ran on

9:27

the counter and went I fancy into the

9:29

cardboard box behind the papier

9:31

mache Tiger.

9:32

Tutts at the shopmen textlessly

9:35

relieving me of my head dress, Kellasberg.

9:37

And as

9:38

I live, nesting.

9:41

He shook my hat and shook out into his

9:43

extended hand, two or three a

9:46

large marble, a watch, about

9:48

half a dozen of the inevitable glass

9:50

and then crumpled, crinkled paper.

9:53

More and more and more, talking

9:55

all the time of the way in which people neglect to

9:57

brush their hats inside as well as

9:59

out. polately, of course, but with a

10:01

certain personal application. All

10:04

sorts of things accumulate, sir,

10:06

not you, of course, in particular. Nearly

10:08

every customer astonishing what

10:10

they carry about with them. The

10:13

crumpled paper rose and billowed and the

10:15

counter more and more and

10:17

more until he was hidden from

10:19

us until he was altogether

10:21

hidden. And still his voice went on and

10:23

on, we none of us know what the

10:25

fair semblance of a human being make

10:27

and see us, are we all

10:29

then no better than brushed

10:31

exteriors, white

10:33

eyed sepulchers? His

10:35

voice stopped exactly like when

10:37

you hit a neighbor's microphone with a well

10:39

aimed brick, the same

10:41

instant silence. and

10:43

the roussel of paper stopped,

10:45

and everything was still.

10:47

Have you done with my hat? I

10:49

asked after an interval. And there was

10:51

no answer. I said,

10:53

Jeff and Jeff said at me, and

10:56

there were our distortions in the magic

10:58

mirrors looking very rum and

11:00

grave. and quiet. I

11:02

think Wells go now. I said,

11:05

would you

11:05

tell me how much all this comes to?

11:08

I say,

11:11

I said on a rather louder note, I want

11:13

the bill. And my hat,

11:15

please. It might have

11:17

been a sniff from behind the

11:19

paper pile. Let's look behind

11:21

the counter jib. I said he's making fun of

11:23

us. I led jib

11:25

around the head wagging tiger.

11:27

And what do you think there was behind the counter?

11:30

And no one at all.

11:32

Only my hat on the floor and a

11:34

common conjurer's lopied white

11:36

rabbit lost in meditation and

11:39

looking as stupid and crumpled as only

11:41

a conjurer as rabbit can do.

11:43

I resumed my hat. and

11:45

the rabbit lollop to a lot of

11:47

Bosso out of my way. Dada,

11:49

said Chip in a guilty whisper.

11:51

What is it, Chip, said I?

11:53

I do like this Tethr.

11:55

So should I, I said to myself,

11:58

if the counter wouldn't suddenly

11:59

extend itself to shut one off

12:02

from the door. but I

12:04

didn't call Jipp's attention to that.

12:06

Pussi,

12:06

he said, with a handout to the

12:08

rabbit as it came lolloping past us.

12:10

Pussi, do Jippa magic. and

12:12

his eyes followed it as it squeezed through a

12:14

door. I had certainly not remarked a

12:16

moment before. Then

12:18

this door opened wider

12:20

and the man with one ear larger than the other

12:22

appeared again. He was smiling

12:25

still, but his eye met mine

12:27

with something between amusement

12:29

and defiance. He'd

12:31

like to say our showroom, sir, he said,

12:33

with an innocent swagity. Gip

12:36

tugged my finger forward. I

12:38

glanced at the counter and met the shopman's eye

12:40

again. I was

12:41

beginning to think the magic just

12:43

a little too genuine. We

12:46

haven't very much time, I said.

12:48

But somehow,

12:49

how we're

12:50

inside the showroom before I could finish

12:52

that. All goods of the same qualities at

12:54

the shop man rubbing his flexible

12:56

hands together, and that is

12:58

the best. Nothing in

13:00

the place that isn't genuine magic

13:02

and warranted thoroughly rum.

13:05

Excuse me, sir. I

13:06

felt him pull at something clung to

13:09

my coat sleeve and then I saw he held a

13:11

little wriggling red demon

13:13

by the tail. A little

13:14

creature bit and fought and tried to get

13:16

at his hand. And in a

13:17

moment, he tossed it carelessly

13:20

behind the counter. No doubt

13:22

the thing was only an image of twisted India

13:24

rubber, but

13:25

for that moment,

13:27

and his

13:27

gesture was exactly that of a

13:29

man who handles some biting bit

13:31

of vermin and glanced

13:33

at Chip, but Chip was looking at a magic

13:35

rocking horse. I was

13:36

glad he hadn't seen the thing.

13:39

I

13:39

say, I said in an undertone,

13:41

an indicating Jib and the red demon with

13:43

my eyes. You haven't

13:44

many things like that about,

13:47

have you? None of

13:47

ours probably brought it with you

13:50

said the shotman also in an

13:52

under and with a more

13:54

dazzling smile than ever.

13:56

astonishing what people will carry

13:58

around with the moneys and then

14:00

to Jib. Do you see anything you fancy in

14:03

here? There

14:03

were many things the gyp fancied

14:06

there. He

14:07

turned to this astonishing tradesman

14:09

with mingled confidence and respect.

14:11

It's had a magic sword. He

14:14

said, a magic toy sword in either

14:16

bends, breaks, nor cuts

14:18

fingers. It renders the

14:20

bearer invincible in battle against

14:22

anyone under eighteen, half a

14:24

crown to seven six men, according to

14:26

size. These Panopies

14:28

on cars are for juvenile nights

14:30

errant and very useful, shield

14:32

of safety, sandals

14:34

of swiftness, helmet

14:36

of invisibility.

14:38

Oh, daddy. Gosh.

14:40

Chip. I

14:41

tried to find out what they cost, but the

14:43

shopman didn't heed me. He had

14:45

got Chip now. He had got him away

14:47

from my finger. He had embarked

14:49

upon the exposition of all his

14:51

confounded stock, and nothing was

14:53

gonna stop him. Presently,

14:56

I saw with a quorum of distrust

14:58

and something very like jealousy

15:00

that Gip had hold of this person's

15:02

finger as usually he has hold

15:04

of mine. No

15:05

doubt the fellow was interesting I thought and

15:07

had an interestingly fake lot of stuff,

15:09

really good fake stuff, still.

15:12

I

15:12

wondered after them, saying very little, but

15:15

keeping an eye on this press to the digital

15:17

fellow. After

15:18

all, Chip was enjoying it.

15:20

And no

15:20

doubt when the time came to go, we should be able

15:22

to go quite easily.

15:24

It

15:24

was a long rambling place,

15:27

that showroom. a

15:28

gallery broken up by stands and stalls

15:30

and pillars with archways

15:32

leading off to other departments,

15:34

in which the queuing assistance

15:37

loathed and stayed at one,

15:39

and with perplexing mirrors and curtains.

15:41

So perplexing indeed

15:43

with these that I was presently unable to

15:45

make out the door by which we had

15:47

come. The

15:48

Sharpe man showed gipp magic

15:51

trains that ran without steam or clockwork

15:53

just

15:53

as you set the signals. and

15:55

then some very very valuable boxes

15:57

of soldiers that all came alive directly

15:59

you took off the lid and said, I

16:02

myself haven't a very quick ear and it was a

16:04

tongue to against him, but Jib, he

16:06

has his mother's ear. Got it in no

16:08

time. Braava votes at the

16:10

shot man putting the man back into the

16:12

box unceremoniously. and

16:14

handing it to Gip, now

16:15

to the Sharpe man. And in

16:17

a moment, Gip had made them

16:19

all alive again. He'll

16:21

take that box, ask the shock

16:23

man. We'll

16:24

take that box, and I, unless you

16:26

charge its full value, in which case,

16:28

I would need a trust magnate. Do

16:30

your heart know? and the man

16:33

swept the little men back again, shot

16:35

the lid, waved the box in the air,

16:37

and there it was in brown paper tied

16:39

up and with Chip's full

16:41

name and a dress on the paper.

16:43

The shot

16:44

man laughed at my amazement. This is

16:46

genuine magic he said.

16:48

The real thing. It's a

16:50

little too genuine from my taste, I

16:52

said again.

16:54

After that, he felt showing jokes,

16:57

odd tricks, and still order the way

16:59

they were done. He

17:00

explained them, he turned them inside out,

17:02

and there was the dear little chap nodding his busy

17:04

bit of a head in the sajest

17:07

manner. I didn't attend as well as I

17:09

might. Hey presto, said the

17:11

magic shopman, and then would come the

17:13

clear small. Hey presto

17:15

of the boy. but

17:17

I was distracted by other things.

17:19

It was

17:19

being born in upon me just how

17:22

tremendously run this place was.

17:24

It was, so to speak, inundated

17:26

by a sense of numbness. There

17:28

was something a little rum about

17:30

the fixtures even. about the ceiling,

17:33

about the floor, about the casually

17:35

distributed chairs. I

17:37

had a clear feeling that whenever I wasn't

17:39

looking at them straight, They

17:41

went to skew and moved about and played a

17:43

noiseless pussy in the corner behind my

17:46

back. And the corners had a

17:48

serpentine design with masks. MASKS

17:52

altogether too expressive for

17:54

proper plaster.

17:56

Then,

17:56

abruptly, my attention was caught

17:58

by one of the odd looking assistants.

18:00

It

18:00

was some way off and evidently unaware of

18:02

my presence. I saw sort of

18:04

three quarter length of him over a pile of

18:06

toys and through an arch. And

18:09

you know, he was

18:10

leaning against the pillar in an idle sort

18:12

of way, doing the most horrid things

18:14

with his features.

18:16

The particular horrid thing he did was with

18:18

his nose. He did it just

18:20

as though he was idling and wanted to

18:23

amuse himself. First of all, it was a

18:25

short, blobby nose, and then

18:27

suddenly, he shouted out like a telescope.

18:29

And then out it flew and became thinner and thinner

18:31

until it was a long red, flexible

18:33

whip. Like a thing

18:34

in a nightmare it was.

18:36

He

18:36

flourishing about and flung it forth as

18:39

a fly fisher flings

18:41

his line. My

18:42

instant thought was that Chip mustn't see

18:45

him. I

18:45

turned around and

18:47

there was Chip quite preoccupied with the shotgun

18:49

and thinking no evil. They were

18:51

whispering together and looking at me.

18:53

Jib was standing on a little stool

18:55

and the shop man was holding a sort of big

18:57

drum in his hand. I didn't

18:59

seek data, pride chip, your he. And

19:02

before I could do anything to prevent

19:04

it, the shot man had clapped the big

19:06

drum over him. I

19:07

saw what was up directly. Take that off. I

19:10

cried this instant. You'll frighten the boy. Take

19:12

it off.

19:13

The shot man

19:14

with the unequal ears did so without

19:17

a and held the big cylinder towards me to show its

19:19

emptiness. And

19:21

a little

19:21

still was vacant. In

19:23

that

19:23

instant, my boy had utterly disappeared.

19:26

You know

19:28

perhaps that sinister

19:30

something that comes like a hand out

19:32

of the unseen and grips

19:34

your heart about. You know

19:35

it takes your common self away and leaves

19:38

you tense and deliberate, neither

19:40

slow nor hasty, neither

19:42

angry nor afraid. So it

19:44

was with me. I came up to this

19:46

grinning shot man and kicked his stool

19:48

aside, stopped his

19:49

folly, I said, was

19:51

my boy. You

19:53

see, he said, still displaying the

19:55

drums interior. There is no deception. I

19:57

put out my hand to grip him

19:59

and he eluded me by a

20:02

dextrous movement. I

20:03

smashed again and he turned from me and pushed open the

20:05

door to escape. Stop, I

20:07

said, and

20:08

he laughed receding. I

20:10

left after him into utter

20:13

darkness. Thud,

20:15

lord

20:15

bless me. I didn't see you coming,

20:18

sir. I was in Regent Street and I had collided

20:20

with a decent looking working man and

20:22

a yard away

20:22

perhaps and looking a look perplexed with

20:25

himself was jib.

20:27

There was some sort of apology and then Jib had turned

20:29

and come to me with a bright little smile

20:31

as though for a

20:32

moment he had missed me.

20:34

and he was carrying four parcels

20:36

in his arm. He

20:38

secured immediate possession of my

20:41

finger. For the

20:41

second, I was rather at a

20:44

loss. I

20:45

stared around to see the door

20:47

of the magic shop and

20:49

behold. It was not there.

20:51

There was no door,

20:52

no

20:53

Sharpe. Nothing.

20:54

Only

20:55

the common pilaster between the shop where

20:57

they sell the pictures and the window with

21:00

the I did the only

21:01

thing possible in that mental tumor.

21:03

I walked

21:04

straight to the curbstone held at my umbrella

21:06

for a cab. Answam

21:08

said Jib in a note of culminating

21:11

exaltation. I helped him

21:13

in, recalled my address with an

21:15

effort, and got in also. something

21:17

unusual proclaimed itself in my

21:19

tailcoat pocket. And I felt

21:21

and discovered a glass

21:23

ball. with a

21:24

petulant expression I flung it into the

21:27

street, Jib, said

21:28

nothing. For a

21:30

space, neither

21:31

of us spoke Tada,

21:33

said gippet last. That was

21:35

a proper shop. I came

21:36

round with

21:37

that to the problem of just how the whole

21:39

thing had seemed to him. he

21:42

looked completely undamaged so

21:44

far so good. He was

21:45

neither scared nor unhinged. He was

21:48

simply tremendously satisfied with the

21:50

afternoon's entertainment and

21:52

there in his arms were the four

21:54

parcels, confounded what

21:56

could be in them. I

21:58

said, Little boys can't go to

22:00

shops like that every day.

22:02

He received this with his usual stoicism and

22:04

for a moment, I was sorry I was his

22:06

father and not his mother. and so couldn't

22:08

suddenly there Coram publico in

22:11

our hands and kiss him.

22:13

After all I thought, the thing wasn't

22:15

so very bad. But it was

22:17

only when we opened the parcels that now really

22:19

began to be reassured. Three of

22:21

them contained boxes of soldiers,

22:23

quite ordinary lead soldiers,

22:25

but of so good of quality as the magicians

22:27

altogether forget that originally

22:29

these parcels have been magic tricks

22:31

of the only genuine sword.

22:33

and the fourth contained

22:35

a kitten, a

22:36

little living, white kitten in

22:39

excellent

22:39

health and appetite and

22:41

temper. I

22:42

saw this unpacking with a sort of provisional

22:45

relief. I hang about in the

22:47

nursery for quite an unconscionable time.

22:49

That happened

22:50

six months ago. And now,

22:52

I

22:52

am beginning to believe it is alright.

22:55

The kitten had only the magic natural to

22:57

all kittens. and the

22:59

soldiers seemed to steady a company as

23:01

any colonel could desire and

23:03

gyp? The intelligent parent will

23:06

understand that I have to

23:08

go cautious slew with gyp. But I went so far as

23:10

this one day, I said, how would you

23:12

like

23:12

your soldiers to come alive gyp and

23:14

march about by themselves?

23:16

Mine do, said Chip, I just have to say

23:18

a word I know before I open the

23:20

lid. Then they march about

23:23

alone.

23:23

Oh, quite debtor. I

23:25

shouldn't like them if they didn't do that.

23:27

I

23:27

displayed no unbecoming surprise and

23:30

since then I have

23:31

taken occasion to drop in a upon

23:33

him once or twice unannounced when the soldiers were

23:36

about, but so far, I have

23:38

never discovered them performing in anything

23:40

like a magical manner.

23:42

It's

23:42

so difficult to tell. There's

23:44

also

23:45

a question of finance. I

23:48

have an incurable habit of

23:50

paying bills. having up and down Regent

23:52

Street several times looking for that

23:54

show. I'm

23:54

inclined to think indeed that in

23:56

that matter, Honor is satisfied and

23:58

that address unknown to

23:59

them, I may very well leave it to

24:02

these people, whoever they may

24:04

be, to send in their

24:04

bill in their own time.

24:07

Everybody in

24:15

That

24:19

was a magic shop by

24:21

h g wells. This is a

24:23

second well story we've done. The previous one was

24:26

the door in the wall. I was gonna

24:28

say the hole in the wall where I was a pub I spent

24:30

too many hours in. near

24:32

Waterloo station in my twenties

24:34

with Nick Doyle and

24:36

others. And anyway,

24:38

so wonderful that Dona Wall is a wishful story. This is

24:40

not this story. This is the top magic toy

24:43

shop. And it's about a man

24:45

who is given a vision of

24:47

a wonderful world, a magical world,

24:50

and he is too

24:52

preoccupied with his life

24:54

to take up the opportunity to enter

24:56

that magic world and then finally possibly at

24:58

his death he does. So it is

25:00

in many ways a similar kind of theme I

25:02

think to the magic shop. I was gonna do say

25:04

something about well's first

25:06

benefit entered into this. So

25:08

what we see with the magic shop, not to

25:10

also to be confused with the magic toy shop

25:13

Angela Sharpe, All these similar

25:15

titles confuse me, but this is the magic

25:17

shopper HD Wells. And

25:19

what we've got is a

25:21

a certain type of person who is basically pure of

25:23

pure of heart and this is the child who

25:25

is pure of heart and not all children are

25:27

pure at heart, Some are spoiled

25:30

and greedy and

25:32

demanding such as the kid who can't

25:34

get in, if you remember the spoiled

25:36

child who isn't allowed in. sort of

25:38

willy wonkourish though, isn't it?

25:40

But Gip, who

25:43

is the purehearted picture

25:45

of innocence, is allowed in. His

25:47

father is a good man, who is

25:49

Idada, is not named,

25:51

but we Wells it's

25:53

Wells himself. he's basically a

25:55

a nice man, a a decent hearted

25:57

but he's a worldly man. He knows how to pay He

25:59

goes to

25:59

work.

26:00

He has he's

26:02

not totally credulous. So he goes in and he

26:04

thinks it's a big put on

26:06

a bit joke for the kids and he plays along with

26:08

the joke and then he becomes increasingly concerned.

26:12

Perhaps not quite as concerned that I would

26:14

be if these things were happening. But

26:16

but let's go with the story and

26:19

and then the the

26:22

stuff that comes out of his hat

26:24

and the little demon, and

26:26

the man is quite quite

26:28

clear that

26:29

our data,

26:32

Gip's father has brought these with him,

26:34

and I guess we're to

26:36

understand these as the

26:40

disfigurements and poisons

26:42

of everyday life that we inevitably all

26:44

pick up trying to live our lives, you know, we

26:46

can't all be pure heart little lambs.

26:48

We have to go through the world

26:50

and all that means and

26:52

and be and why is his serpents as

26:54

well as gentlestoves, if you

26:56

can manage that really.

26:57

But so I

26:58

think, you know, that, but inevitably, this pick

27:00

up and and there is the assistant. I

27:02

don't know what the assistant is, the assistance of vaguely

27:05

demonic. At one point, I thought it was

27:07

gonna happen and didn't. But, you know, what

27:09

could have happened was that the story.

27:11

If it was a horror story, if this would they

27:13

would have been monsters, wouldn't they?

27:15

But it isn't a horror story. It is a supernatural

27:18

story. So

27:20

it does it include it? And also, we're getting

27:22

there to Christmas twenty twenty

27:24

two. And I'm recording this sort

27:26

of middle of

27:28

November. You may hear it. back

27:30

end in November, early December

27:32

twenty twenty two. So I thought we'd kind of have toy

27:34

shops and things like that and a bit of

27:36

magic in our lives. for

27:37

that season. Yes.

27:39

So I think that's it in simplicity,

27:41

really, that Debois simplicity allows him

27:43

to see a world of magic. And of course, this isn't

27:46

an original thought. This even

27:48

words with talks about things like this, doesn't

27:50

he know how the child sees things at the I'm

27:54

I'm I did I did a reading of

27:56

the Prelude, which is on the classic

27:58

poetry channel. But, yeah,

28:00

that's the the gist of it really, the

28:02

children because they're innocent see

28:04

things and are open to the magic of the world. And I think

28:06

our own experiences, certainly mine, is

28:09

that my early life was sort of

28:11

wonder. I remember looking at

28:14

Sunlight in a little stream on the

28:16

beach across the sand, the

28:18

ripples of sunlight, and

28:20

Sharpe of a Christmas tree, and

28:23

oil that rainbow colors of oil in a puddle

28:25

and just being entranced by

28:28

them. And even there's a teenager looking for

28:30

the mountains near where I

28:32

live, and being just blown away by them

28:34

and that

28:34

that and that that

28:36

grew less as grown less as I've got older, which

28:38

is a great pity. Nope. I haven't lost all of

28:40

it. And this is why I read these stories

28:42

out to you to recapture a little bit

28:44

of that. But yeah, we

28:46

lose the wonder. So is

28:49

is the man evil?

28:51

No, I don't think

28:54

he is. I thought if

28:56

you to I thought at one point it was gonna

28:58

be like a trickster figure. You know a

29:00

lot of societies like Lokey for the

29:02

north, so I think it's coyote.

29:04

And maybe, you know, these my cultural backgrounds,

29:07

not two percent, Scandinavia, and apparently,

29:09

and dinner. But ninety eight

29:11

percent, not And so I'm not

29:13

native American, but I mean, I believe

29:15

coyote and sort

29:17

of

29:17

monkey in in some

29:19

Chinese legends as Wells.

29:22

and we do have a trixter figure

29:24

who plays

29:25

tricks in Italy's job to play a

29:27

mercury in the Roman world.

29:29

not to be

29:30

old in as well, but not to be trusted,

29:32

and they have a bit of fun with us, and

29:34

I sometimes think that fate does that.

29:37

So there we are. Yeah. And a simple story, very

29:39

nice story. Is there

29:41

more to be drawn out of it? I don't really

29:43

know. Let's say something about HTG Wells.

29:46

So Herbert

29:47

George Wells, known as Bertie Toose

29:49

family, was born in eighteen sixty six

29:51

at Atlas House in Bromley and

29:54

Kent, I used to live near there, not in Bromley.

29:56

I couldn't afford it. But I I used to go

29:58

to Bromley. I liked it. And then he

30:00

died aged seventy nine and he's

30:03

much you know, much

30:05

higher class home at

30:07

a thirteen Hanover Terrace looking over Regents

30:09

Park, and that was due to his great success. Of course,

30:11

he is the guy throughout

30:13

the world of the world's history mister

30:15

Polly, the time machine in

30:17

loads of others as well. He was a very

30:20

prolific writer. a science fiction,

30:22

Brian Aldis, called him the father of science

30:24

fiction or the Shakespeare of science fiction, in

30:26

fact. And he's a

30:28

great a great imagination, I

30:30

think, Wells. He he didn't

30:32

come from a particularly wealthy background. His

30:34

father was a professional cricketer

30:36

for Kent. So he's got a lot of Kentish

30:39

connections here. He lived most of his life at

30:41

different places around Kent, County

30:43

of Kent. And

30:45

his father earned his money as a

30:47

professional cricketer. and

30:49

then had an injury and

30:51

couldn't be a cracker anymore. They

30:53

had some kind of shop in London

30:55

and

30:55

the It didn't

30:57

do very well. I don't know if it was a junk

31:00

but they were on a hard time, so they had to

31:02

put him out as an apprentice drape.

31:04

And so Wells earned his living, and then

31:06

Eton started off as a teacher, which

31:08

causes slightly higher social

31:10

status really than being a driver. But

31:12

he could argue about that. I don't know

31:14

if and drapers. Drapers do a good

31:16

job. I've never met one,

31:18

but but, you know, we don't have them

31:20

anymore. Do we? I believe when I was doing my

31:22

ancestry, one of my Greg,

31:24

Greg. Uncles was a driver at

31:26

the coop. But anyway

31:28

enough enough. So Yeah.

31:32

He he came up the hard way and he had to

31:34

earn his living, and he started

31:36

to write eventually, and

31:39

he started to make money at it. and really

31:41

well as we know. Now he was this

31:43

is a thing we have a book club.

31:45

The classic ghost stories book

31:47

club last night we discussed the

31:49

yellow wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gillman, and many other

31:52

things you can imagine the story.

31:54

The

31:54

discussion devolves into various thoughts. There's

31:57

some really smart people I

31:59

learn a lot from them actually. I think,

32:01

oh, right. Yeah. No. True.

32:03

True. True. Anyway, so yeah. John.

32:05

John, why not? you'll

32:08

be able to find the link somewhere. I can't tell you it's one

32:10

of those. It goes, AGBBXY3I

32:13

can't remember it. So but it's

32:15

such a thing exists and we discuss

32:18

every every

32:18

two weeks, every fortnight. So

32:20

and where was I? Oh, we

32:22

were talking about this issue about and

32:24

this this crops up, of course.

32:26

There

32:26

there are when you're reading a story,

32:29

particularly an old story, fashions

32:31

change, times change, and the views

32:33

that are expressed you know, stories may not

32:35

sit comfortably with certain people in the

32:37

audience. H. D. Wellsie. He was a

32:39

socialist because of of the Fabian

32:41

society, which is on the left wing. of

32:43

the Labour Party. And you can see he's come from

32:45

not a monied background, and

32:47

it's I often think, you know, your

32:49

your politics are often derived from your

32:52

upbringing. So if you're the lord of such

32:54

and such, you're probably gonna be conservative because

32:56

you're gonna keep what you've got. And

32:58

if you're, you know, come from a

33:01

really poor background, you've got nothing, and all you know is

33:03

poverty, you're gonna think, well, people should

33:05

actually, society's unfair, we we need

33:07

to change this. So in in

33:09

some ways if you're born in Sri Lanka,

33:12

you know, in Sinali, he's probably gonna be a Buddhist.

33:14

If you're born in Italy, you're probably gonna be

33:17

a Catholic. if you're born in Iran, you're probably gonna be a

33:19

Shiite Muslim, you know, and and people

33:21

treat these things like, they they

33:23

decided. I decided to

33:25

become a conservative. No, you don't.

33:27

I think you are it's from

33:29

where you come from. So Wells

33:32

had made money

33:34

but

33:34

had come from a

33:35

poor background. So and like like dickens, in

33:37

fact, the same kind of social reform issues,

33:40

the generation of so earlier.

33:42

because they came from poor backgrounds and simply like Lord

33:45

Duncini, who I love, Wells probably

33:47

not going to be that

33:50

interested We

33:52

can't say never, but but probably not

33:54

just the way the world is. He

33:56

wasn't a communist. He was he

33:58

went to Russia. and he

34:01

thought it was okay in the twenties. It's just

34:03

the time of Stalin. Right? And

34:05

he thought he thought it was recovering, but he

34:07

he wasn't he wasn't completely and critically.

34:09

He was quite And he wanted to go back

34:11

and talk to Stalin and and

34:13

let Stalin see the error of

34:15

Stalin's ways by debate. I mean,

34:17

you know, really you can see

34:19

he's a bit of an idealist there, and he was an

34:22

idealist. He was a a bold thinking.

34:24

And his views about religion change as well at

34:26

one point he was very Christian. and by the end he was

34:28

against all organized religion or

34:30

not specific against the spirit of

34:32

Christianity. But he was a

34:34

serial adulterer.

34:36

And many of the women he had affairs with

34:38

had miscarriages became pregnant,

34:41

and he just kept on doing

34:43

it even when he was married. This

34:45

is basically from the Wiki. It says Wells had affairs

34:47

with a lot of women. Dorothy Richardson was

34:50

a friend and he had and he had a shot affair with her in

34:52

nineteen o seven. This led to a pregnancy which ended

34:54

in a miscarriage. Wells was married to

34:56

Richardson's old school friend at the

34:58

time. That one got down well at parties.

35:00

In December nineteen o nine, he had a

35:02

daughter named Anna Jane with the write at

35:04

Amber Reeves, to the fabian

35:06

society, Amber's parents. He

35:08

then had Elizabeth van Arne,

35:10

I mean, who's a great writer, She

35:13

was one of his mistresses. In nineteen fourteen, he had a son

35:15

with Rebecca Weston, novelist and feminist who was

35:17

twenty six years younger

35:20

than him. And then he was in

35:22

love with the American birth control

35:24

activist Margaret Sanger from

35:26

ninety twenty to nineteen twenty one enough

35:28

until he died. And in his

35:30

autobiography, Gregline, he says

35:32

an experiment in autobiography published in

35:34

nineteen thirty four. So he hadn't even finished

35:36

his affairs by then. He's still conducting them.

35:38

But when he wrote this, he said, I was never

35:41

a great romantic, but I loved a few people very much. There

35:43

you go. So that makes it

35:45

okay then. Discuss,

35:47

gus people gonna be

35:48

outraged. I'm never gonna read anything by H. G. Wells again.

35:50

I think my view on it is, oh,

35:52

you know, we talk about this seneca.

35:54

There were slave owners.

35:57

I'm never gonna read their book

35:59

Marcus Aurelius, who's an emperor probably and people put

36:01

to death. I'm never gonna read anything by

36:03

him, you know, some of

36:05

the desert fathers may have had some unpleasant views

36:07

about certain things we just don't

36:10

know. There was always I think about sport

36:12

wasn't it and having

36:14

sporting affairs. I've got fairs on the

36:16

brain. I'm not having a fair. I've just got them on the

36:18

brain. So sporting events

36:20

in countries, you know, back in

36:22

the day, back in South Africa, and we

36:24

weren't gonna do that. And in Russia, in China, and but we've got

36:26

them in Qatar, of course, because that's

36:29

a Sebastian of democracy

36:32

and fairness. and equality

36:34

and free speech and free everything. That

36:36

that just shows you what money you'll get

36:38

here, doesn't it? No. Not that I think that

36:41

FIFA is corrupt But, oh, yeah, I do. Yeah. There we are.

36:43

So Okay. So, yeah, people will go, well, we

36:45

should keep politics out of sport. And then

36:48

in my younger years, I'll be like, no,

36:50

no, no, important. And

36:52

now kind of I'm saying,

36:54

well, these authors may

36:56

or may not have had views which I don't agree

36:58

with. Elgin and Black would mean all of

37:00

them really. there's probably one or two I could sit down with and

37:02

we'd see eye to eye, but on on with

37:04

many of the others, I wouldn't.

37:06

So do I not

37:08

read them? And my

37:10

conclusion is, yeah, I'm gonna read

37:12

them because because of the story.

37:14

Ask the story. Look

37:17

Robin Hood, great story. probably

37:19

not composed by one person, but let's say

37:21

it was or Siguane

37:24

in the green night. I've done a version of that in middle

37:26

English, though. It's not middle English completely,

37:28

but it's an old fashioned English. You wanna listen to that. That's a good Christmas

37:30

story. It's a long, though,

37:32

and hard to understand. But I try my best to

37:34

make it

37:36

comprehensible. But

37:37

but You know,

37:38

what if he's a wife, beta? Or is

37:40

that okay? No. It's not okay. What if he's an

37:42

alcoholic? Do we disapprove of that?

37:45

Well, you know, probably less

37:48

so? what if AM,

37:50

etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. So

37:52

there we are. That's my decision.

37:56

Things here continue. I'm

37:58

working like a dog.

38:00

Don't get

38:00

on about

38:01

the old Tony mustn't like dogs

38:03

and no, I love dogs. but

38:05

it's just a saying. Doesn't mean

38:08

anything bad to dogs don't be

38:10

offended. I don't know dogs who work

38:12

hard. She doesn't work hard. She just does

38:14

this about. and get fed and have the tummy tickled.

38:16

That's not hard work anyway, so but the

38:18

saying is that or a Trojan, my nan

38:20

needs to set up. He work

38:22

a Trojan. we work with trojan No

38:24

offense to any trojans. There are no trojans left or being to try. It's

38:27

just a heap of rocks now.

38:29

So there's no trojans can be

38:31

offended by that one. few.

38:34

So

38:34

I've been working nice

38:35

because I've decided I'm I'm you know, I'm

38:37

doing this podcast and then I'm doing another

38:39

one called haunted

38:41

places. which is kind supernatural stories, so called true

38:43

ghost stories, different angle. And come

38:46

actually, pretty

38:46

different material, but I'm always be interested in

38:48

that kind of thing. So that

38:50

exists. I don't know if you

38:52

can YouTube it, haunted places Tony

38:54

Walker, you should get it. It's on YouTube.

38:56

It's not as a podcast.

38:58

that's too much work for too little return. And then

39:01

the other things I'm doing are doing a

39:03

couple of websites. I've got got about I've

39:05

got the PostPod website. I'm

39:08

not doing a lot with that. I've got my haunted travel website

39:10

which is to compliment the haunted places

39:12

which is supposed to sit down unless

39:15

you can go and visit and stay in through

39:17

a haunted, but that's huge, huge piece of

39:20

work. And then I've got one that's

39:22

actually linked to my mental

39:24

health work. cold mood meds. And when I look at, say

39:26

something about my experience of

39:28

prescribing, but what what I think

39:30

about the

39:32

different medications And I'm a big therapy person, but I

39:34

do feel that medication has their

39:36

place. Also,

39:37

herbal supplements

39:38

any good

39:41

I mean, I tag vitamins. I I always tag

39:43

two grams of vitamins every day every day for

39:45

years. It just explains my

39:47

useful good looks. when I was, like, a bit

39:49

of k two, sounds like mountain. It is

39:51

like swaddling a mountain night isn't.

39:52

It's certainly a small capsule. So anyway, yeah,

39:55

talk about those and we

39:58

talk about herbal stuff,

39:59

Ashwin Gander. You know, my partnership is very

39:59

into herbal stuff that we can

40:02

that she particularly gets

40:04

off the hedgerows and bushes and

40:06

things and

40:08

then mix into tea and jelly and all sorts.

40:10

So yeah, I'm interested in all of

40:12

those those things. Did I tell you about my

40:15

CBD oil experience if I

40:18

haven't? when we were going I've gone in and something glastonbury I met said that, and

40:20

that helps me sleep. So, you

40:22

know, mood meds dot co dot

40:24

u k. you probably

40:25

won't find it's too too too too new.

40:28

Anyway, these

40:28

are supposed to provide income for me at

40:30

some point in the future when they get built.

40:33

which

40:33

tremendous amount of work. I'm

40:35

trying to record podcasts for

40:38

the Christmas season. I've got a few. I'm I

40:40

I probably will do Charles Dickens as the

40:42

Christmas tree. No. It's not a ghost

40:44

story. It's certainly a Christmas story. And the and I've got the British library

40:46

has issued a series of

40:48

collections of ghost stories from

40:52

their from their archives because in the UK, if

40:54

you publish a book, you should send a copy of it

40:56

to the British library. I'm sure that

40:58

isn't done. as much now

41:00

with Kindle and things, but certainly everybody

41:02

used to do it. So they've got an archive

41:04

of long forgotten ghost stories, and they bring

41:06

out theme anthologies, which look really good

41:09

I've got loads of them. Probably, I haven't read

41:11

all of them actually, but I've there are collections

41:13

I've got one called chill

41:16

tie dings. which is a ghost though is the Christmas season and the

41:18

sunless solstice which is

41:20

also around, so twenty first

41:22

December and things like that. I've got the horn

41:24

God. I've

41:26

got loads. and I keep looking at them to draw stories out. So I'm gonna some

41:28

stories from those for Christmas to create a little

41:30

bit of Christmas spirit. If I get around to it, I'm writing

41:32

a I'm not one of my own Christmas stories.

41:36

Oh, but when will I find time? Gotta

41:38

find time, Tony. Also gotta go

41:40

Tony buy some food and things. Anyway,

41:44

this is a inconsequential ramble I

41:46

feel this time saying things I've already

41:48

said before many times, hope you're

41:50

all well. Wells and

41:52

and happy days.

41:54

Let's look forward to Christmas. And

41:56

finally, I just want to thank my patrons, all of

41:58

you people who are joining up to

41:59

be patrons. This is one

42:01

of my work directly, and that's a really fantastic,

42:03

so you can there are a number

42:05

of options. You can join the sub stack mailing list.

42:07

That's mainly free. but you get

42:09

the members only stories if you you do the part paid. Most of the pay pays.

42:11

It's all duplicated in Petrien, but they're not the

42:14

same thing. So don't

42:16

join both. and

42:18

then Apple have them up on Apple for subscribers

42:20

as Wells, extra stories on

42:22

that. So there are three ways

42:24

you can get extra stories for

42:27

paid members. So I just wanna thank

42:30

everybody who joined up on Apple,

42:32

who joined up on Pedro, who joined up

42:34

on Sub Snack, and also the

42:36

members of my YouTube. That's a fourth way

42:38

of the YouTube channel. People can join up for

42:40

membership and you get these member stories access to

42:42

those. There's quite a few of them now. probably worth doing.

42:44

If you if you join

42:46

the others, there is a, I

42:48

think, for patron, the lowest thing is

42:51

a dollar dollar dollar

42:52

a month. Dollar

42:54

it seems tremendously low. I need to

42:56

put that price up if it is. Maybe a dollar a

42:58

week. I think it might be a dollar a month.

43:01

and you get access to all you don't get the paid stuff on

43:03

the dollar, but you get access to all the

43:06

old stories. So there's a big, big I mean, you know, there's

43:08

hundreds of hours

43:10

of stories the again. So I'll add three, of course. You can just download

43:12

them and your leisure. Anyway, that

43:14

wasn't supposed to be a sales

43:16

pitch although not

43:18

unreasonable. But Thank you

43:20

to everybody who supports me in that way, but

43:22

really do. Appreciate it.

43:24

Music's gonna come up as

43:26

by the Hartford Institute. if you

43:29

like Anna, hauntological, do me electronic experimental

43:32

stuff. Jonathan sharp with Howard Institute,

43:34

and I do. So I'm gonna go and see him.

43:36

He's got

43:37

salsa's concert. I'm deaf are gonna

43:40

be that it's been canceled twice because of

43:42

COVID. So this is the

43:43

first time after COVID. to

43:44

miss

43:46

no miss

43:49

for me.

44:38

Take my blood removed. The flesh

44:40

was terrible.

48:53

Hi. This

48:54

is Tony Walker. I would

48:56

like to remind you that you can become

48:58

a patron of the classic ghost

49:02

stories podcast Patrons get access to the library of member only

49:04

stories, and I'm doing a new

49:06

member only story at least once

49:08

per month at

49:10

the moment. You'll also get the joy of supporting me

49:12

in the works so I can continue to

49:14

produce the regular podcast. You can

49:16

become a patron by

49:18

signing up at WWW

49:21

dot patreon dot com forward

49:23

slash bar kid BARCUD

49:26

So if you did feel that you wanted to support my work, it will be great

49:28

to have you on board at Patreon.