0:01

Twas the first night home for the

0:03

holidays and all through your town, not

0:05

one thumb was quiet, a lot of

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swiping going down. You created

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the perfect bumble profile with care

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in hopes that your dream guy or gal may

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be out there. When what to

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your wandering eyes should appear but

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a sh** ton of faces you haven't seen in

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years. There's a rando from

0:23

high school, your ex from eighth grade,

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a kid you used to babysit and

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your literal uncle Dave. As

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cringe as this feels, the only thing worse

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would be if one of them stumbled upon

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your profile first. But there's

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no need to panic or erase your face from the app.

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You can go incognito with one simple

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tap. Disappear from

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the others till you say they're a match and

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have more fun finding your next hometown

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catch. With peace

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of mind and your profile hidden from

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sight, happy holidays to all and to

0:54

all a good night. Happy

0:57

holidaying with incognito mode from bumble.

0:59

Download today. The

1:02

holidays start here at Kroger with a

1:04

variety of options to celebrate traditions old

1:06

and new. You could do

1:08

a classic herb roasted turkey or spice it up

1:10

and make turkey tacos. Serve up

1:12

a go-to shrimp cocktail or use

1:14

simple truth wild caught shrimp for

1:16

your first Cajun risotto. Make

1:19

creamy mac and cheese or a spinach

1:21

artichoke fondue from our selection of Murray's

1:23

cheese. No matter how you shop, Kroger

1:25

has all the freshest ingredients to embrace

1:27

all your holiday traditions. Kroger,

1:29

fresh for everyone. The

1:49

Story of the Goblins Who Stole

1:51

a Sexton by

1:53

Charles Dickens from The Pickwick

1:55

Papers. in

2:00

this part of the country a long,

2:02

long while ago, so long that the

2:04

story must be a true one, because

2:07

our great-grandfathers implicitly believed it,

2:10

they're officiated as sexton and

2:12

gravedigger in the churchyard, one

2:15

Gabriel grub. It

2:17

by no means follows that

2:19

because a man is a sexton

2:21

and constantly surrounded by the emblems

2:23

of mortality, therefore he should

2:25

be a morose and melancholy man. So

2:28

undertakers are the merriest fellows in the world,

2:30

and I once had the honour of

2:33

being on intimate terms with a mute

2:35

who in private life and off duty

2:37

was as comical and jucose a little

2:39

fellow as ever chirped out a devil-maker's

2:41

song, without a hitch in his memory

2:43

or drained off a good stiff glass

2:45

without stopping for breath. But

2:48

notwithstanding these precedents to the contrary,

2:51

Gabriel grub was an

2:53

ill-conditioned, cross-grained,

2:56

surly fellow, a morose

2:58

and lonely man, who consorted

3:00

with nobody but himself and

3:02

an old wicker bottle which

3:04

fitted into his large, deep

3:06

waistcoat pocket, and who eyed

3:08

each merri face as it passed him by

3:11

with such a deep scowl of

3:13

malice and ill-humour as

3:15

it was difficult to meet without feeling

3:18

something to worse for. A

3:20

little before twilight, one Christmas

3:23

Eve, Gabriel shouldered his spade,

3:25

lighted his lantern and betook

3:27

himself towards the old churchyard,

3:30

for he had got a grave to finish by next

3:32

morning, and feeling very low, he thought

3:34

it might raise his spirits perhaps if he

3:36

went on with his work at once. As

3:40

he went his way up the ancient street

3:42

he saw the cheerful light of the blazing

3:44

fires gleam through the old casements, and

3:47

heard the loud laugh and the cheerful shouts

3:49

of those who were assembled around them. He

3:52

marked the bustling preparations for the

3:54

next day's cheer, and smelled

3:56

the numerous savoury odours consequent thereupon

3:58

as they stood there. steamed up from

4:00

the kitchen windows in clouds. All

4:03

this was gall and wormwood

4:05

to the heart of Gabriel

4:07

Grubb. And when groups

4:10

of children bounded out of the houses,

4:12

tripped across the road, and were met

4:14

before they could knock at the opposite

4:16

door by half a dozen curly-headed little

4:18

rascals who crowded round them as they

4:20

flocked upstairs to spend the evening in

4:23

their Christmas games, Gabriel

4:25

smiled grimly and clutched

4:27

the handle of his spade with a firmer

4:29

grasp as he thought of

4:32

measles, scarlet fever,

4:34

thrush, cooping cough, and

4:36

a good many other sources of

4:38

consolation besides. In

4:41

this happy frame of mind, Gabriel

4:43

strolled along, returning a short sullen

4:45

growl to the good-humored greetings of

4:47

such of his neighbours as now

4:49

and then passed him, until

4:52

he turned into the dark

4:54

lane which led to the churchyard. Now

4:57

Gabriel had been looking forward to

5:00

reaching the dark lane because it

5:02

was generally speaking a nice, gloomy,

5:05

mournful place into which the townspeople

5:07

did not much care to go

5:09

except in broad daylight and

5:11

when the sun was shining. Consequently

5:14

he was not a little

5:16

indignant to hear a young

5:18

urchin roaring out some jolly

5:20

song about Merry Christmas in

5:22

this very sanctuary which had

5:24

been called Coffin Lane ever

5:27

since the days of the old Abbey and

5:29

the time of the shaven-headed monks. As

5:32

Gabriel walked on and the voice drew

5:34

nearer, he found it proceeded

5:36

from a small boy who was hurrying

5:38

along to join one of the little

5:40

parties in the old street, and who

5:43

partly to keep himself company and partly

5:45

to prepare himself for the occasion, were

5:47

shouting out the song at the highest

5:49

pitch of his lungs. So

5:51

Gabriel waited until the boy came up and

5:54

then dodged him into a corner and wrapped

5:56

him over the head with his lantern five

5:58

or six times. teach

6:00

him to modulate his voice. And

6:03

as the boy hurried away with his hand

6:05

to his head, singing quite a different sort

6:08

of tune, Gabriel Grub

6:10

chuckled very heartily to himself,

6:13

and entered the churchyard, looking

6:15

the gate behind him. He

6:17

took off his coat, sat down his

6:20

lantern, and getting into the unfinished grave,

6:22

worked at it for an hour or

6:24

so with right good will. But

6:27

the earth was hardened with the frost, and

6:29

it was no very easy matter to break

6:31

it up and shovel it out. And

6:34

although there was a moon, it was a very young

6:36

one, and shed little light upon

6:38

the grave, which was in the shadow

6:40

of the church. At any

6:42

other time these obstacles would have

6:44

made Gabriel Grub very moody and

6:47

miserable, but he was so well

6:49

pleased with having stopped the small boy singing,

6:51

that he took little heed of the scanty progress

6:53

he had made, and looked down

6:56

into the grave when he had finished

6:58

work for the night, with grim satisfaction,

7:01

murmuring as he gathered up his

7:03

things, Brave lodgings

7:05

for one, brave lodgings

7:07

for one, A few feet

7:10

of cold earth when life is done,

7:12

A stone at the head,

7:14

a stone at the feet, A rich,

7:16

juicy meal for the worms to eat,

7:19

Rank grass overhead and

7:21

damp clay around, Brave

7:24

lodgings for one, these in holy

7:27

ground. Ha! Ha!

7:30

laughed Gabriel Grub, as he sat

7:32

himself down on a flat tombstone, which was

7:34

a favorite resting place of his, and

7:37

drew forth his wicker-bockle. A

7:39

coffin at Christmas, a Christmas

7:41

box, Ha! Ho! Ho!

7:44

Ho! He

7:46

was a little girl, repeated a voice which sounded close behind him. Gabriel

7:49

paused in some alarm in the act

7:51

of raising the wicker-bockle to his lips,

7:54

and looked around. The bottom of

7:56

the oldest grave about him was not

7:58

more still and and quiet than

8:01

the churchyard in the

8:03

pale moonlight. The cold

8:05

hawe frost glistened on the

8:07

tombstones and sparkled like rows

8:09

of gems among the stone

8:11

carvings of the old church.

8:15

The snow lay hard and crisp

8:17

upon the ground and spread over

8:19

the thickly-strewn mounds of earth, so

8:22

white and smooth a cover that

8:24

it seemed as if

8:26

corpses lay there, hidden only

8:29

by their winding sheets. Not

8:33

the faintest rustle broke

8:35

the profound tranquillity of the

8:37

solemn scene. Sound

8:40

itself appeared to be frozen up. All

8:43

was so cold and still.

8:46

Was he echoes, said Gabriel grub, raising

8:49

the bottle to his lips again.

8:51

It was not, said

8:54

a deep voice. Gabriel

8:56

started up and stood rooted to the

8:58

spot with astonishment and terror, for

9:01

his eyes rested on a form that

9:04

made his blood run cold. Seated

9:08

on an upright tombstone close to him was

9:11

a strange, unearthly figure, whom

9:14

Gabriel felt at once was no being

9:16

of this world. His long,

9:18

fantastic legs which might have reached

9:20

the ground were cocked up and

9:22

crossed after a quaint, fantastic fashion.

9:25

His sinewy arms were bare, and

9:28

his hands rested on his knees. On

9:31

his short, round body he wore a

9:34

close covering ornamented with

9:36

small slashes, a short

9:38

cloak dangled at his beak. The

9:40

collar was cut into curious peaks

9:42

which served the goblin in lieu

9:44

of rough or neckerchief, and

9:47

his shoes curled up at the toes into long

9:49

points. On his head

9:52

he wore a broad, brimmed sugarloaf

9:54

hat, garnished with a single feather.

9:57

The hat was covered with the white

9:59

frost, and And the goblin looked as

10:01

if he had sat on the same

10:03

tombstone very comfortably for two or

10:05

three hundred years. He

10:08

was sitting perfectly still, his tongue was put

10:11

out as if in derision, and

10:13

he was grinning at Gabriel Grubb, with

10:15

such a grin as only a goblin

10:17

could call up. It

10:19

was not the echoes, said

10:22

the goblin. Gabriel

10:24

Grubb was paralyzed and could make no reply. What

10:27

do you do here? On

10:29

Christmas Eve, said the goblin sternly.

10:32

I came to dig a grave,

10:34

sir, stammered Gabriel Grubb. What

10:38

man wanders among

10:40

graves and churchyards on

10:42

such a night as this? cried

10:44

the goblin. Gabriel

10:46

Grubb! Gabriel Grubb!

10:50

screamed a wild chorus of voices that

10:52

seemed to fill the churchyard. Gabriel

10:55

looked fearfully round. Nothing

10:57

was to be seen. What

10:59

have you got in

11:02

that bottle? said the goblin. Holland,

11:05

sir, replied the Saxon, trembling more

11:08

than ever, for he had bought

11:10

it of the smugglers, and he

11:12

thought that perhaps his questioner might be in

11:14

the excise department of the goblins. Who

11:17

drinks Holland's alone in a

11:19

churchyard on such a night as

11:21

this? said the goblin. Gabriel

11:24

Grubb! Gabriel Grubb! exclaimed

11:27

the wild voices again.

11:31

The goblin leered maliciously at the

11:33

terrified sexton, and then, raising his

11:35

voice, exclaimed, and who then is

11:37

our fair and lawful prize? To

11:40

this inquiry the invisible chorus replied,

11:42

in a strain that sounded like

11:44

the voices of many choristers singing

11:46

to the mighty swell of the

11:48

old church organ, a strain that

11:50

seemed born to the sexton's ears

11:52

upon a wild wind, and

11:55

to die away as it passed onward.

11:58

But The burden of the reply was still there. the same.

12:01

Gabriel. Grab. Gave.

12:04

Me: I'll grab. The

12:06

goblin grinned broader greens before as

12:08

he said. Well

12:10

gabriel. Would you say

12:12

to this. The

12:14

sexton gasps for breath. What

12:17

t since is this? Gabriel.

12:21

Said the goblin keep me up his feet in

12:23

the air. And. I decided the tombstone.

12:26

And. Looking at the tender points

12:28

with as much complacency as if

12:31

he had been contemplating the most

12:33

fashionable pair of Wellington's in Old

12:35

Bond Street. It's a. It's

12:38

a very curious sir. replied.

12:40

The sex and half dead with bright very

12:43

curious and very proceed at the i think

12:45

cats are go back and finish my work

12:47

Sir it is you Please. Worth.

12:50

Said. The Goblin. What work?

12:53

To. Grace. So making the grave

12:55

stammered the second. Ah, The

12:59

gravy. And goblin to

13:01

make graves. At a

13:03

time and all other men marry and takes.

13:06

Pleasure. In it. Again,

13:09

The mysterious voices replied gabriel

13:12

grab. A real crab.

13:15

I am sprayed

13:17

my friends. And

13:19

want you. Gabriel. Said.

13:22

The goblin thrusting his tongue

13:24

father into his cheek. The

13:26

ever and the most astonishing

13:28

tongue it was. I'm afraid,

13:30

my friends, One you, gabriel.

13:33

Said the goblin. Are under favor

13:35

Sir replied to Horace stricken Sexton I don't

13:37

think they can set as they don't know

13:39

me sir I don't think the gentlemen of

13:41

ever see me sir. Is

13:44

I have replied to goblin we

13:46

know the man with the silky

13:48

face in dreams scowls the came

13:51

down the street tonight's throwing his

13:53

evil looks at the children's and

13:55

grasping he's burying spade tighter. we

13:58

know the man He struck

14:00

the boy in the envious malice

14:02

of his heart, because the

14:04

boy could be merry, and

14:07

he could not. We

14:09

know him." We

14:12

know him. Here the

14:14

goblin gave a loud shrill

14:16

laugh, which the echoes returned

14:18

twentyfold, and throwing his

14:20

legs up in the air, stood upon

14:22

his head, or rather upon the very

14:25

point of his sugar loaf hat on

14:27

the narrow edge of the tombstone, whence

14:29

he threw a summer set with extraordinary

14:31

agility right to the sexton's feet, at

14:34

which he planted himself in the attitude

14:36

in which tailors generally set upon the

14:38

shop-board. I am

14:40

afraid I must leave you, sir, said

14:43

the sexton, making an effort to move.

14:45

Leave us, said the goblin. Gabriel,

14:48

grub, don't you leave us? Ho,

14:51

ho! Ho! As

14:54

the goblin laughed, the sexton observed,

14:57

for one instant, a brilliant illumination within

14:59

the windows of the church, as if

15:01

the whole building were lighted up. It

15:04

disappeared. The organ peeled forth a

15:06

lively air, and whole troops of

15:09

goblins, the very counterpart of

15:11

the first one, poured into the

15:13

churchyard, and began playing a leapfrog

15:15

with the tombstones, never

15:17

stopping for an instant to take breath,

15:20

but overing the highest among them, one

15:22

after the other with the most

15:25

marvellous dexterity. The first

15:27

goblin was a most astonishing leaper, and

15:29

none of the others could come near

15:31

him. Even in the

15:33

extremity of his terror, the sexton could

15:36

not help observing, though while

15:38

his friends were content to leap

15:40

over the common-sized gravestones, the

15:42

first one took the family vaults, iron

15:44

railings, and all, with as much ease

15:47

as if they had been so many

15:49

streetposts. At last

15:51

the game reached to a most

15:53

exciting pitch, the organ played quicker

15:55

and quicker, and the goblins leaped

15:58

faster and faster, coiling themselves. piles

16:00

up, rolling head over heels

16:02

upon the ground and bounding

16:04

over the tombstones like footballs.

16:07

The sexton's brain whirled round with the

16:10

rapidity of the motion he beheld, and

16:12

his legs reeled beneath him, as

16:14

the spirits flew before his eyes,

16:16

when the goblin king, suddenly

16:19

darting towards him, laid his

16:21

hand upon his collar and

16:24

sank with him through the earth. When

16:28

Gabriel Grubb had had time to fetch

16:30

his breath, which the rapidity of his

16:32

descent had for the moment taken away,

16:34

he found himself in

16:37

what appeared to be a large cavern, surrounded

16:39

on all sides by crowds

16:42

of goblins, ugly and

16:44

grim. In the centre of the

16:46

room, on an elevated

16:48

seat, was stationed his friend of

16:50

the churchyard, and close behind him

16:53

stood Gabriel Grubb himself, without power

16:55

of motion. "'Cold

16:57

tight,' said the king of

17:00

the goblins, "'very cold, a glass

17:02

of something warm here.' At

17:05

this command, half a dozen officious

17:07

goblins, with a perpetual smile upon

17:10

their faces, whom Gabriel Grubb imagined

17:12

to be courtiers on that account,

17:15

hastily disappeared, and presently returned

17:17

with a goblet of liquid fire, which

17:19

they presented to the king. "'Ah,'

17:22

cried the goblin, his cheeks

17:24

and throat were transparent as

17:26

he tossed down the flame,

17:28

"'this warms one indeed. Bring

17:31

a bumper of the same for Mr. Grubb.'" It

17:35

was in vain for the unfortunate sexton to

17:37

protest that he was not in the habit

17:39

of taking anything warm at night. One

17:42

of the goblins held him, while another

17:44

poured the blazing liquid down his

17:46

throat. The whole

17:48

assembly screeched with laughter, as he

17:50

coughed, choked, and wiped away the

17:53

tears, which gushed, plentifully from his

17:55

eyes, after swallowing the burning draught.

17:58

And now, the king of the goblins, who had been King fantastically

18:00

poking the paper corner of his

18:03

sugar loaf hat into the Sexton

18:05

Xy and thereby occasioning him the

18:07

most exquisite pain. And now show

18:10

the man of misery and gloom

18:12

a few the pictures from our

18:15

own great storehouse. As

18:17

the goblin said, this is six

18:19

cloud which obscured the remote to

18:21

end of the cabin road gradually

18:24

away and disclosed apparently the great

18:26

distance. A small and scantily furnished

18:28

but neat and clean apartment. A

18:31

crowd of little children were gathered round

18:33

the bright fiat clinging to their mothers

18:35

gowns and gambling amount of. The.

18:38

Mother occasionally rose and drew aside

18:40

the window curtains as is to

18:42

look for some expected objects. A

18:45

frugal meal was ready, spread upon the

18:47

table and an elbow chair was placed.

18:50

A knock was heard that the door. And

18:53

mother opened its and the children crowded

18:55

room, test and tap their hands for

18:57

joy as their father entered. He.

18:59

Was wet and weary and shook

19:01

the snow from his garments as

19:03

the children crowded around him and

19:05

seizing his cloak had stick and

19:07

gloves with busy zealots ran with

19:09

him from the room. Then

19:11

as he sat down to ease meal

19:14

before the fire the children climbed about

19:16

his knee. And. The mother sat

19:18

by side and all seems happiness.

19:22

But. A change came upon the

19:24

view almost imperceptibly. Scene.

19:27

Was altered. To. Small bedroom.

19:29

Where. The fairest and youngest child laid.

19:33

The roses had fled from his cheek. And

19:35

the light from his eye. And even

19:37

as the Sexton looked upon him with

19:39

an interest he had never felt own

19:41

known before. He's.

19:45

Young brothers and sisters crowded round his

19:47

little bed. Seized his tiny

19:50

hands. so cold and heavy but

19:52

I shrank back from it's touch

19:54

and look to the or on

19:56

his infant face. a com

19:58

and tankful as it was Upon sleeping

20:00

in rest and peace as the beautiful child

20:02

seemed to be, they saw that

20:04

he was dead, and they

20:06

knew that he was an angel looking down

20:09

upon and blessing them from a bright and

20:11

happy heaven. Again, the

20:14

light cloud passed across the picture,

20:16

and again the subject changed. The

20:19

father and mother were old and helpless now,

20:21

and the number of those about them was diminished

20:24

more than half. But content

20:26

and cheerfulness sat on every face,

20:28

and beamed in every eye as

20:31

they crowded round the fier side,

20:33

and told and listened to old

20:35

stories of earlier and bygone days.

20:39

Slowly and peacefully the father sank into

20:41

the grave, and soon after

20:43

the sharer of all his cares and

20:46

troubles followed him to a place of

20:48

rest. The few who

20:50

yet survived them kneeled by their tomb,

20:52

and watered the green turf which covered

20:55

it with their tears, then

20:57

rose and turned away

20:59

sadly and mournfully, but

21:02

not with bitter cries or

21:04

despairing lamentations, for they knew

21:06

that they should one day meet again, and

21:09

once more they mixed with the

21:11

busy world, and their content and

21:13

cheerfulness were restored. The

21:15

cloud settled upon the picture, and

21:17

concealed it from the sexton's view.

21:21

What do you think of that? said

21:23

the goblin, turning his large face

21:25

towards Gabriel Grubb. Gabriel murmured out

21:28

something about its being very pretty,

21:31

and looked somewhat ashamed, as

21:33

the goblin bent his fiery eyes upon

21:35

him. You miserable

21:37

man! said the goblin in a

21:39

tune of excessive contempt. You!

21:43

He appeared disposed to add more,

21:45

but indignation choked his utterance, so

21:48

he lifted up one of his very pliable

21:50

legs, and flourishing it above his

21:52

head a little to ensure his aim administered

21:55

a good sound kick to

21:58

Gabriel Grubb. after

22:00

which all the goblins in waiting

22:02

crowded round on wretched Sexton, and

22:05

kicked him without mercy according to

22:07

the established and invariable custom of

22:10

courtiers upon earth, who kick whom

22:12

royalty kicks and hug whom royalty

22:14

hugs. Show him

22:17

some more, said the king of the

22:19

goblins. At these words

22:21

the cloud was dispelled, and a rich

22:23

and beautiful landscape was disclosed to view.

22:26

There is just such another to this day

22:28

within half a mile of the old Abbey

22:31

Town. The sun shone

22:33

from out the clear blue sky,

22:35

the water sparkled beneath its rays,

22:37

and the trees looked greener, and

22:40

the flowers more gay beneath its

22:42

cheering influence. The water

22:44

rippled on with a pleasant sound, the

22:46

trees ruffled in the light wind that

22:48

murmured among their leaves, the birds sang

22:51

upon the boughs, and the

22:53

lark carolled on high her welcome to the

22:55

morning. Yes, it was morning, the

22:58

bright balmy morning of summer, the

23:00

minutest leaf, the smallest blade of

23:03

grass was instinct with life. The

23:06

ant crept forth on her daily

23:08

toil, the butterfly fluttered and barfed

23:10

in the warm rays of the

23:12

sun. Myriads of

23:14

insects spread their transparent wings, and

23:17

reveled in their brief but

23:19

happy existence. Man

23:21

walked forth elated with the scene,

23:24

and all was brightness and

23:26

splendor. You, a

23:28

miserable man, said the king of the

23:31

goblins, in a more contemptuous tone before.

23:34

And again the king of the goblins gave his

23:36

leg a flourish, again it descended

23:38

on the shoulders of the sexton, and

23:41

again the attendant goblins imitated the example

23:43

of their chief. Many

23:46

a time the cloud went and came, and

23:48

many a lesson it taught to

23:50

Gabriel Grubb, who although his shoulders

23:52

smarted with pain from the frequent

23:55

applications of the goblins' feet thereunto,

23:57

looked on with an interest that not think

24:00

would diminish. He saw that

24:02

men who worked hard and earned their scanty

24:04

bread with lives of labor were cheerful and

24:06

happy, and that to the

24:08

most ignorant the sweet face of nature

24:11

was a never-failing source of cheerfulness and

24:13

joy. He saw those

24:15

who had been delicately nurtured and

24:17

tenderly brought up, cheerful under privations

24:19

and superior to suffering that would

24:21

have crushed many of a rougher

24:23

grain, because they bore within their

24:26

own bosoms the materials of happiness,

24:28

contentment, and peace. He

24:30

saw that women, the tenderest and

24:32

most fragile of all God's creatures,

24:34

were the oftenest superior to sorrow,

24:36

adversity, and distress, and he

24:39

saw that it was because they

24:41

bore in their own hearts an

24:43

inexhaustible wellspring of affection and devotion.

24:46

Above all he saw that men like himself who

24:49

snarled at the mirth and cheerfulness of

24:51

others were the foulest weeds

24:53

on the fair surface of the

24:56

earth, and setting all the

24:58

good of the world against the evil, he

25:00

came to the conclusion that it

25:02

was a very decent and respectable sort of

25:04

world after all. No sooner

25:06

had he formed it than the cloud which

25:09

had closed over the last picture seemed to

25:11

settle on his senses and lull

25:13

him to repose. One

25:15

by one the goblins faded from his

25:18

sight, and as

25:20

the last one disappeared, he

25:22

sank to sleep. The

25:25

day had broken when Gabriel Grubber

25:27

woke and found himself lying at

25:29

full length on the flat gravestone

25:31

in the churchyard with the wicker

25:33

bottle lying empty by his side,

25:36

and his coat spayed and lantern all

25:38

well whitened by the last night's

25:40

frost scattered on the ground. The

25:43

stone on which he had first seen

25:45

the goblins seated stood bolt upright before

25:48

him, and the grave at which

25:50

he had worked the night before was not far

25:52

off. At first he

25:54

began to doubt the reality of his adventures,

25:57

but the acute pain in his shoulders when he

25:59

attempted to escape. to rise assured him that

26:02

the kicking of the goblins was

26:04

certainly not ideal. He

26:07

was staggered again by observing no traces

26:09

of footsteps in the snow on which

26:11

the goblins had plated leapfrog with the

26:14

gravestones, but he speedily accounted

26:16

for this circumstance when he remembered

26:18

that, being spirits, they would leave

26:20

no visible impressions behind them. So

26:23

Gabriel Grubb got on his feet as

26:25

well he could for the pain in

26:27

his back, and brushing the

26:29

frost off his coat, put it on, and

26:31

turned his face towards the town. But

26:36

it was an altered man, and he

26:38

could not bear the thought of returning to

26:40

a place where his repentance would be scoffed

26:42

at and his reformation disbelieved.

26:45

He hesitated for a few moments, and

26:48

then turned away to wonder where he

26:50

might, and seek his bread elsewhere.

26:54

The lantern, the spade, and the wicker-bottle were

26:56

found that day in the churchyard. There

26:59

were a great many speculations about the

27:01

sexton's face at first, but

27:03

it was speedily determined that he had been

27:06

carried away by the goblins, and

27:08

there were not wanting some very

27:10

credible witnesses who had distinctly seen

27:12

him whisked through the air on

27:14

the back of a chestnut horse

27:16

blind of one eye, with the

27:19

hindquarters of a lion and a tail of

27:21

a bear. At

27:23

length all this was devoutly believed,

27:25

and the new sexton used to

27:27

exhibit to the curious, for a

27:29

trifling emolument, a good-sized piece of

27:32

the church weathercock which had been

27:34

accidentally kicked off by the aforesaid

27:36

horse in his aerial flight, and

27:39

picked up by himself in the churchyard a

27:41

year or two afterwards. Unfortunately

27:44

these stories were somewhat disturbed

27:47

by the unlooked-for reappearance of

27:49

Gabriel Grubb himself some

27:52

ten years afterwards, a ragged,

27:54

contented, rheumatic old

27:56

man. He told his

27:59

story to the clergyman. and also to the

28:01

mare, and in course of time

28:03

it began to be received as a matter

28:05

of history, in which form it

28:07

has continued down to this very day. The

28:10

believers in the weather-cocktail, having misplaced

28:12

their confidence once, were not easily

28:14

prevailed upon to part with it

28:17

again. So they looked as wise

28:19

as they could, shrugged their

28:21

shoulders, touched their foreheads, and

28:23

murmured something about Gabriel

28:25

Grubb having drunk all the Hollands,

28:28

and then fallen asleep on the flat

28:30

tombstone, and they affected to explain what

28:32

he supposed he had witnessed in the

28:34

goblins' cavern by saying that he had

28:37

seen the world and grown wiser. But

28:40

this opinion, which was by no means

28:42

a popular one at any time, gradually

28:44

died off, and be the

28:46

matter how it may, as Gabriel Grubb

28:48

was afflicted with rheumatism to the end

28:50

of his days, this story has at

28:52

least one moral, if it teach no

28:54

better one, and that is that

28:57

if a man turns sulky and drink by

28:59

himself at Christmas time, he may make up

29:02

his mind to be not a bit the

29:04

better for it, let the spirits be never

29:06

so good, or let them be even as

29:08

many degrees beyond proof as

29:11

those which Gabriel Grubb saw in

29:13

the goblins' cavern. It

29:22

was the first night home for the

29:24

holidays, and all through your town, not

29:26

one fun was quiet, a lot of

29:28

swiping going down. You created

29:30

the perfect bumble profile with care,

29:33

in hopes that your dream guy or gal may

29:35

be out there. When wet-tier

29:37

wandering eyes should appear, but a

29:39

ton of faces you haven't seen in years.

29:42

There's a rando from high school, your

29:44

ex from 8th grade, a kid you

29:46

used to babysit, and your literal Uncle

29:49

Dave. As cringe as this

29:51

feels, the only thing worse would be if

29:53

one of them stumbled upon your profile first.

29:56

There's no need to panic or erase your face from

29:58

the app. and go incognito

30:01

with one simple call. Disappear

30:03

from the others till you say they're a match

30:06

and have more fun finding your next hometown

30:08

patch. With peace of

30:11

mind and your profile hidden from sight, happy

30:14

holidays to all and to all

30:16

a good night. Happy holidays with

30:18

incognito mode from Bumble. Download today.

30:24

Everybody dies, don't they? They're

30:27

funny. Merry

30:30

Christmas to you all. This

30:32

is Christmas Day Story 2023. I

30:35

hope you enjoyed that. I always like to do a bit of Dickens

30:37

at Christmas. If you haven't

30:39

heard my Christmas carol, I

30:41

will try and put a link up there. If you haven't

30:43

heard it, imagine not having heard it. But yeah,

30:46

and you've got time and the inclination, go and

30:48

listen to it. I'm not gonna get involved in it

30:50

in many degrees of blather, blather,

30:52

blather today. I just wanna wish you all

30:54

a happy Christmas. I wanna thank you for

30:56

sticking with the podcast this year

30:59

and making it grow by who knows

31:01

much a lot. Maybe

31:05

if you stick with it next year, we'll be part

31:07

of an even bigger success. So that is really fantastic.

31:09

And as they always say at

31:11

the Oscars, I think they

31:14

say this, couldn't do it

31:16

without you. Absolutely couldn't do it. If you weren't here,

31:18

think about it. If you weren't here, I would

31:20

just be sitting in my room talking to myself. That

31:25

would be very sad. That'd be a kind of

31:28

Gabriel Grubb type character, wouldn't I? Oh,

31:31

growling at people on the street instead of

31:33

the happy joyous chap I am. Yeah,

31:37

anyway, Merry Christmas, Happy New

31:39

Year that's coming. And

31:42

if you're not listening to this at Christmas or if

31:44

it's red hot and you're in Dubai,

31:47

still, happy Christmas, okay? Happy

31:49

holidays, if Christmas isn't your thing, have

31:52

a cool yule, Diwali's

31:54

past, Hanukkah. I

31:57

think he's passing. But

32:00

there'll be other festivals of light I don't even

32:02

know about from other traditions, but

32:04

whatever they are, I just wish you a lovely

32:07

time. Okay, all right. Oh,

32:10

I hear the sound of dogs ascending.

32:13

To wish me a Merry Christmas.