Stroke: things feel out of control - a daughter’s experience.

I think it’s quite humblingWhen you realise thatIt doesn’t matter how oldYour mother isShe’s still your mother.

When that happensIt is quite a shock,It is doubly a shock.

I suppose then you thinkWell because she’s 86Are the NHS going to really tryAs they mightTo keep her hale and hearty?

The stress from the strokeI think really has to beTwo-fold.

First of allSupporting herAnd not encouraging herTo be anxiousAbout anythingBecause it’s all a bit rubbish just now,But we’re trying to get thingsBetter for you.

And also supporting her sisterBecause they’ve lived togetherVirtually all of their lives.So whilst there’s no kind ofShe doesn’t have a spouse any more,My father died in ‘96There is someone thereThat I do need to support as well.

So in amongst all thatI’m having to do stuff at homeAnd I’m having to keep going to work,And I’m not giving anythingAs much of the attention as I should do

So I think I’m being stretchedAcross many different things,And I really don’t like that becauseI’m a bit more usedTo being in control.

(This poem is read by Marilyn Kendall, a Senior Research Fellow at Edinburgh University).