0:07

To the class of and the

0:09

family, friends, teachers, and neighbors

0:11

who helped them along the way. Congratulations,

0:14

he did it. Graduation

0:18

might look a little different this year, and it'll

0:20

almost certainly feel different, But whether

0:23

you're celebrating with a small in person

0:25

crew or gearing up for another virtual

0:27

event, this is your moment,

0:30

which is why we're bringing you the commencement you

0:32

deserve, full of wisdom to help you

0:34

step into the real world and enter a

0:36

brand new normal. Ready to get

0:38

inspired, put your hands together for one of

0:40

this year's incredible commencement speakers,

0:42

the one the only Nikki

0:45

Glazer m

0:56

I hate graduates of it's

0:58

comedian and podcast US host Nikki Glazer.

1:01

I just wanted to say a couple of things that I wish

1:03

people would have told me when I was graduating

1:06

from high school, college,

1:10

bartending academy. I never went to one

1:12

of those. This is a graduation commencement

1:15

speech for everyone. Whether

1:17

you're graduating from school to

1:19

a new job, to a

1:22

just a new world. Graduation means you're going

1:24

to the next step. It's scary. So this

1:26

is for anyone out there who is transitioning

1:29

in life changing living situations,

1:31

changing cities, you moved out an apartment

1:33

that you were very comfortable in. You are about

1:35

to go somewhere that it is not comfortable. You're

1:38

about to be out of your bubble and good job

1:41

getting to the point where you know it's time

1:43

to go. Maybe some of you

1:45

that's the school wouldn't let you go and

1:48

make it a six year program when it's really

1:50

a three year degree and we already gave

1:52

you two extra years. We can't go a sixth

1:54

devon. Or maybe you're graduating middle

1:57

school and no one really cares that much

1:59

because everyone focuses on high school and

2:01

college, and you feel like you're kind of getting the short end

2:03

of the deal. You are hopefully

2:05

people will still care when you graduate

2:07

from high school or college, it

2:10

gets more and more exciting. Although I did go to my high

2:12

school graduation, I did not go to my college graduation

2:14

because it nearly didn't happen.

2:17

So this is also for people who aren't graduating

2:19

college and maybe should be this year.

2:22

I don't want you to feel like you

2:24

have to turn this off because you're not a graduate.

2:27

First of all, college

2:29

is great that you did it, but it's kind of stupid.

2:31

It's just like this thing we have to all do to

2:34

prove that we are smart enough to do jobs

2:36

that you know, don't require someone being

2:39

going to this much class. And let's be honest, I didn't

2:41

go to this much class. I relied heavily on spark

2:43

notes throughout the mid two

2:45

thousand's. I did acquire that English

2:47

degree without reading a full book during

2:51

my four years. But that's because I already knew I wanted

2:53

to be a stand up comedian and I just wanted to get that paper

2:55

to succeed. So if you didn't get the paper, it's okay.

2:57

There are other ways. Find something

2:59

you of and just learn as much as you can

3:01

about it. That's my advice. Read lots of books

3:04

and just do something you love. And

3:06

I know it's scary. The next step, you're like, what do I want to beat?

3:08

What do I want to turn this into? Just wait

3:10

for it to come. Try lots of things. And

3:12

if you don't find a way to make money and choose

3:15

a job in a field that makes you

3:17

happy as most people can't, that's

3:19

okay. Try to choose something then that

3:21

is like the easiest for you to do that you're like, okay,

3:24

I don't hate this, then go into

3:26

that, then all your other things

3:28

in your life should be things you love. If you can't make that

3:30

what your job is. But if you can't make it what your job

3:32

is, attempt to career a stand up comedy and then

3:34

you know, eighteen years down the line, realized that

3:37

maybe that was the best job for you when you were eighteen.

3:39

But um, you know, it's maybe an industry

3:41

that probably wouldn't have been as suited for you

3:43

as let's say, animal rescue. I'm

3:45

talking about no one specifically, but listen, I

3:47

am a vegan, and uh, if you're interested

3:49

in that lifestyle, I mean, look into it. Don't

3:51

ask me. I'm not an expert. I just like, uh,

3:54

you know, care about animals and stuff and just stopped eating

3:56

them, even them. But it's

3:58

the right thing to do. That's all I can say.

4:00

Really, I've written down some notes for you the

4:03

next four years. I could say two graduates

4:05

of high school or graduates of middle school the next

4:07

four years or it's like so important, but they're not.

4:09

They're like so fun. You're still so young. Please

4:12

enjoy being young. I know that's hard for you to understand,

4:14

and everyone says it because I was you before. People

4:17

were like, just enjoy being young. But like I

4:19

just like didn't think I would age. So just

4:21

I'm a reminder to anyone young listening. You

4:23

will age. It will

4:25

happen, So enjoy this. This is

4:27

a very um important thing

4:29

that you are going to be depressed, guaranteed

4:32

in the future. All Right, It's okay

4:34

to be depressed. It's a normal feeling. First

4:37

of all, get helped for that. It's gonna happen.

4:39

You're gonna feel sad, You're gonna have defeats,

4:42

you're gonna feel uncertain that

4:44

your dream, that you have this lofty dream

4:46

that's you know, a few people said you couldn't

4:49

do, but most people supported you. But they're kind of like talked

4:51

about it behind your back. You're trying that and it

4:53

feels stupid. Whatever that is, whether

4:55

it's a job or pursuing just literally

4:57

anything, just try to just stay

4:59

the core and keep your head

5:01

down and keep doing it because if

5:03

it makes you happy, that's all that matters. It doesn't

5:05

matter if you're good or not. And by

5:08

doing it enough, you'll just get good. That's

5:10

the beauty of of doing something. So if you love

5:12

something and you suck at it, just keep doing it and you

5:14

you'll eventually get good. That's my advice.

5:17

Read lots of books, look into meditating,

5:19

Tell the people that you love that you

5:21

love them. Work towards that. I know

5:23

it's sometimes hard. You've never said I love you to

5:25

your dad. That's a very common thing, even

5:28

though you do love him and he loves you too, but you can't say

5:30

it. Work towards maybe being able

5:32

to tell him someday, not today, not tomorrow,

5:34

but some day well down the road. And that is my

5:36

life advice for you that I kind of wish

5:39

other people would have told me. And also, get

5:41

the HPV vaccine because

5:44

why not. Oh

5:48

and I wish for you all to tune

5:50

into my podcast daily Monday through Thursday

5:52

on I Heart Radio. It's called the Nikki Lazer Podcast,

5:54

and it is just exactly the kind of ramblings

5:57

you just heard. I hope you'll be there for it.

5:59

See there, and good luck out there, guys.

6:01

Congratulations. Can

6:14

you can find the collection of an incredible commencement

6:16

addresses from all your favorite speakers at the Commencement

6:19

Podcast on I Heart Radio or wherever

6:21

you listen to podcasts.