0:03

So now this was a very nice day today. It was. Because

0:06

over here at our headquarters we got this great

0:08

gift, Tillamook ice cream. I'm a monster for ice

0:11

cream. I know you are too. I want

0:13

to take a bath in it and then I want to eat

0:15

the ice, eat the bath. Wait what? I

0:18

want to like bathe in it. But then I want to eat

0:20

it as I'm bathing in it. Yeah, yeah, that's a simple

0:22

concept. You made it much more complicated. I'm sorry. Fill a

0:24

bathtub with Tillamook ice cream. I will get in it and

0:26

then I will eat my way out. That's all you need

0:28

to do. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. They have so many great,

0:30

it's such good ice cream and they have so many great

0:33

flavors. I mean just off the top of my head, I

0:36

don't know. Birthday cake, caramel swirl, banana split,

0:38

caramel toffee crunch, chocolate chip, chocolate chip cookie

0:40

dough. I think there's butter pecan, cookies and

0:42

cream, French vanilla, chocolate peanut butter. Malted

0:44

mousse shake I think is one. I can't

0:46

remember too well. Mounted huckleberry, Tillamook mudslide, marion

0:48

berry pie, monster cookie, old fashioned vanilla, rocky

0:50

road, Oregon dark cherry, waffle cone swirl, prep

0:53

mint bark. I'm just going off

0:55

memory here. But holiday sugar

0:57

cookie, orange and cream. Anyway

0:59

so many great flavors and

1:02

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1:04

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1:06

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1:09

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1:11

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1:13

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1:15

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1:17

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1:19

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1:39

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2:20

O'Brien needs a fan. Wanna talk to

2:22

Conan? Visit teamcocoa.com slash call Conan. Okay,

2:28

let's get started. Hello and

2:31

welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. This

2:34

is a bit unusual. This is the podcast where usually

2:36

I speak to a fan

2:39

around the world or in the United States. And you know,

2:41

I'm not a fan of Conan O'Brien. I'm a big fan

2:43

of Conan O'Brien. I'm a big fan

2:45

of Conan O'Brien. I'm a big fan of Conan O'Brien. I'm a big

2:47

fan of Conan O'Brien. Or in

2:49

the United States, anywhere. Someone who I

2:51

connect with. And it's

2:54

a lot of fun. But I

2:56

wanted to use this slot today to do

2:58

something quite different. As some of you

3:00

listening may know, recently

3:02

I appeared on a show

3:05

called Hot Ones. And it got

3:07

a lot of attention. Got a lot of

3:09

people talking. I'm told my

3:11

behavior was a little unusual for Hot Ones.

3:14

And everyone has a million questions. The question

3:16

I get the most about my

3:18

appearance on that show, other than,

3:20

did you have to go to the hospital

3:23

afterwards, is what's with your doctor?

3:26

Dr. Arroyo, I believe I'm the

3:29

first person to show up

3:31

with a physician who looked

3:33

after me because there

3:36

was some concerns about my health. I

3:38

was a little concerned. So the day

3:40

before my appearance, I contacted my

3:42

doctor and said, would you be present? You

3:45

were, and a lot of people are

3:48

talking about you, Dr. Arroyo. Well,

3:50

I actually consider this a

3:52

follow-up visit because you

3:55

looked a little distressed at the end there.

3:57

I was distressed, yeah. Were you

3:59

concerned? Well, first of all, before we talk about

4:01

the hot ones, I'd like people to

4:04

understand just how we met,

4:08

because we have an interesting meeting,

4:12

how we first discovered one another. Do you want to talk about

4:14

it at all? Okay. I

4:17

was walking by the Mayo Clinic

4:19

and- Excuse

4:22

me, Dr. Royal, and it's called Mayo Clinic. I

4:25

think it's Mayo. You don't say Cinco

4:27

de Mayo. So,

4:31

I was walking by the Mayo Clinic and

4:33

I heard, I want a second opinion. And

4:36

I ran in and it was you. Now

4:41

at the time, you were not dressed

4:43

as a doctor. No. And

4:45

I said, are you a doctor? And you

4:47

paused for a while, to be

4:49

honest. Okay. Yes, I did pause. And

4:52

said, yes, I am a doctor. Well, I thought you

4:54

were asking if doctor was my given

4:56

name. Okay, now. I

4:58

said, no, it's not. Okay. But

5:01

I did go to a doctor's school. I've-

5:05

You went to a what? A doctor's school. Medical

5:08

school. Yes, to medical school. Okay. There

5:14

were some comments. I mean,

5:17

this video on hot ones has

5:19

been seen like nine million times. I

5:21

see. And a lot of

5:24

the comments are, this

5:26

doctor doesn't seem- some

5:28

people were questioning whether you- I'm just

5:31

telling you what I've read. That's all right. I

5:33

know you don't read comments. Well, people were saying, I'm

5:35

not sure he knows what he's doing. Oh my gosh.

5:37

No, I'm just saying. I would

5:40

like to talk to those nine million people

5:42

because- That would take a

5:44

while. Well, and understood, understood. But

5:46

I have time. I think I'm-

5:50

what- there seems to be a question

5:52

about whether or not I attended doctor's

5:54

school. And I did. Medical

5:56

school. Medical school. It was not

5:58

in the country. I grant you it

6:01

was not in the continental United States, but I

6:03

did attend- Can you tell us exactly where it

6:05

was that you attended- You

6:07

prefer to seem to call doctor school? Doctor school.

6:10

I did, I cannot say without

6:13

returning a lot of money

6:15

because I was paid

6:18

very generously not to reveal

6:20

where I went to medical school. So that's

6:22

why I keep it- I see.

6:24

Yeah. But I did

6:27

graduate. Okay. 100%

6:29

of my clients- Okay, listen- I

6:31

am- You

6:33

can look it up. Okay. If you

6:35

ever find it. Yeah. I

6:38

have noticed, you have been my

6:40

physician out here in Los Angeles

6:42

now for about seven years. Yes.

6:46

I have brought up many times I could come by, I could swing by

6:48

your office, and you have

6:50

always said that's not a good idea. That's right.

6:53

If you prefer to meet like

6:56

in a restaurant or sometimes outside

6:58

a restaurant, is there a

7:01

reason that you

7:03

don't like me to come to your office? Yes,

7:05

there is. I'm in between offices right now. I've

7:07

been with you for seven years. Yes, I know.

7:10

It's been a while. I

7:13

go all over the city. I

7:16

figured, well, instead of the

7:18

patients coming to me, why don't I just meet

7:20

the patients closer to where they are? It's less

7:22

stressful. But I've also brought up, you could come

7:24

to my house, and

7:26

that's called a house call. Yes. Yes.

7:30

You always say there's

7:32

this restaurant. Yes.

7:34

Downtown. Exactly. We could meet

7:37

outside that restaurant. Yes. Then

7:40

they allow us to use the restroom in

7:42

that restaurant. For

7:45

full exams, there's the

7:47

mirrors, there's a counter, there's a

7:50

baby changing station. There's

7:52

a lot of equipment in that restaurant

7:55

that we can use. It's

7:58

interesting because I have an And Sona's here, my

8:01

assistant, and she knows very well that

8:03

I work with an

8:05

accounting firm, business manager. It's

8:07

all quite sophisticated. The billing with you is

8:09

a little strange because I

8:12

get so many ...

8:14

I have a therapist, I have someone

8:18

who works on my back, I have a

8:20

dentist, and it's all paid through ... Who

8:23

wants cash, right? Yes.

8:26

You always have this on cash. I prefer cash. Yes.

8:29

It's just the way I do business. There's

8:31

less paperwork, there's less accounting. The

8:34

IRS doesn't know a thing. The

8:37

IRS is completely ignorant

8:40

about my business

8:42

practices, and the IRS will never track

8:44

down. How

8:46

many people here ... Millions. This was. Millions

8:49

and millions of people hear this. Millions and millions

8:51

of people hear this. Some people from the IRS. Are

8:53

listening right now. I see. I

8:56

see. Yeah, okay. Okay. We'll

9:00

edit that out. We

9:03

do make some edits, so that may be one

9:05

of them. Okay. Say,

9:07

IR. What is your ... Dr.

9:19

Arroyo, do you have

9:21

a specialty in medicine? Is there a

9:23

field that you're more interested in than

9:25

other fields? I

9:28

mean, do you have a specialty

9:30

in comedy? Or

9:33

are you kind of an all-around very funny man?

9:36

Well, I don't think it's applied. I think medians will

9:38

be ... Did you go

9:40

to a college to be funny? I

9:42

don't think so. You were just funny,

9:45

and you learned by experience, and I

9:47

learned by experience. I learn my practice,

9:49

medical practice, every day that I practice

9:51

medicine. I get better every

9:53

day. I

9:56

am a wonderful first

9:58

opinion. If

10:01

you want a good

10:03

first opinion for any

10:05

medical thing, come to me. Medical

10:08

thing? Any medical

10:10

thing whatsoever, inside or outside. There was

10:13

some, I'll tell you there was a

10:15

couple of things that happened during the Hot Ones

10:17

appearance. I want to say

10:20

raise some eyebrows in the medical community. At

10:22

one point I was complaining about the heat of the sauce.

10:27

When this is documented, it's been on

10:29

the internet all over the place, you

10:31

applied a stethoscope to my tongue. Yes,

10:34

yes. Is

10:36

there medically, what did that tell you in

10:38

that moment? Oh, well I was listening for

10:40

any kind of aberration, any kind of weird

10:42

thing. Basically

10:46

I listened to your

10:48

tongue. I didn't

10:50

hear any screaming. I didn't hear

10:53

anything unusual. It

10:55

was dead actually, it was just almost nothing. I

10:57

thought you're fine because there was no screaming. Were

11:00

you tempted at all to place it on

11:02

my chest to listen to heart rhythm?

11:06

No, because ... You

11:11

think that's some sort of medical quackery? I don't want

11:14

after your tongue and put it on there. I

11:16

don't want it. You did

11:19

something else where, I think there

11:21

was some concern, I think you wanted to take my

11:23

pulse. It looked

11:25

to just about everyone that's viewed the

11:27

video as if you were choking

11:29

my neck. Oh, and that is

11:31

a very ... Yes, yes. I have to say,

11:34

very few people ... My bad, my bad. I

11:36

thought you said, take my pulse.

11:40

Like take it away. That's what I was trying to do.

11:44

Wait, is it the first rule, do you know her?

11:48

Yeah. The

11:50

Hippocratic Oath, the first rule. Hippocratic

11:53

... Hippocratic ... Okay, nothing.

11:55

All right. There's an

11:57

oath. Yeah. That most people know.

12:00

that have gone to medicine

12:02

school, doctor school, apologies for not

12:04

knowing the correct terminology. No,

12:08

for you in that moment

12:10

thought that I said, take my pulse

12:12

meeting, deprive me of circulation.

12:14

Yes, I was doing

12:18

what you asked me to do. And then you corrected

12:20

me and said, no, no, and then I had to

12:22

touch you lightly. Yeah. But okay.

12:36

So now where else can you go surfing and skiing

12:38

the same day? Huh? I don't know.

12:40

Or check out a world class art

12:42

museum and then camp at a dark

12:45

sky sanctuary that night, huh? Yeah. Yeah.

12:47

Where else can you hike through Redwoods

12:49

and then get a luxury spa treatment?

12:51

Where? Well, you live there, California. California,

12:54

Sona. No matter where you

12:57

go across the state, you'll find a way to

12:59

play. Sona,

13:01

you are a lifelong California

13:03

resident. I'm a lifer. I

13:05

love this place. This is

13:07

a beautiful state. Gorgeous. So

13:09

many different, wonderful ecosystems in

13:11

one state. You can hang out by a

13:13

Palm Springs pool. You can

13:15

go whale watching. You can go hiking in

13:18

Yosemite. And then talk about

13:20

the great cities in California. You get

13:22

all this amazing food, sushi, whatever you

13:24

want. They got it in California. Hey,

13:26

if you can't find it in California,

13:28

man, you've got a problem. Yeah. I

13:30

shouldn't have done that. I made that

13:32

up on my own. Anyway, I love

13:34

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17:54

you have, tell me about some of your other

17:57

patients. I know that when we meet

18:00

I never, first of all, you

18:02

have no office. No. When you like to

18:04

be paid in cash. I do. I do.

18:07

We meet outside a restaurant. A

18:09

restaurant, yes. Downtown. That's right. And

18:12

eventually go inside where you're insistent on using the bathroom

18:14

for a long period of time alone. And

18:17

often I hear what sounds

18:19

like bathing in there, but

18:22

you can't really bathe in a sink, can you?

18:24

Yeah, I have to stay clean and the bathroom

18:26

is the perfect place to do that. Okay.

18:30

But I don't know if you see other, are

18:32

you seeing other patients?

18:34

I would be violating

18:36

my Hippocratic Oath if I told

18:39

you. Is that the way? No,

18:41

no, no, no, no. And also-

18:43

I would be violating confidentiality. Confidentiality.

18:46

Confidentiality. Do you have any other

18:48

celebrity clients? Yeah, that's

18:50

a good question. I

18:53

do a lot of

18:55

players on the NBA. I do

18:57

a lot of- I can't really

18:59

get into it. Can I say

19:02

as your assistant, anytime I've had to schedule

19:04

an appointment with him, it's been very easy.

19:06

Absolutely. You're very available. I

19:08

am very available. Okay. Anytime

19:10

you have my cell phone number and

19:14

I'm also always on the road

19:16

so I can always get to the

19:18

restaurant quickly and so on. You solicited an appointment

19:20

with me out there earlier, which is really weird.

19:22

You came to me. I did. I

19:25

never met. I was in a

19:27

mobile pet grooming van and I saw you

19:29

and I said, you

19:31

could use a checkup. You?

19:35

I'm just- what? I have to say,

19:37

so it brings up a really good point, which is

19:40

your availability. I about six months

19:42

ago butt dialed

19:44

you accidentally at four in

19:46

the morning. I didn't know who

19:48

I was calling. I

19:50

heard you and the sound of a bus. It

19:55

sounded like someone was ordering you off the bus. No.

20:00

You something about you can't sleep here. That's

20:02

right. That's right. And You

20:05

said I'm available for an appointment and now would be

20:07

a good time. I said no I butt dialed it.

20:09

That's right That's right. And

20:11

I couldn't I couldn't meet you because they kicked

20:13

me off the bus but I Don't

20:17

consider it sleeping on a bus. I consider

20:19

it Self-induced

20:21

coma Take

20:24

you do what you had to do. Yes Um,

20:27

can you tell the audience is gonna be

20:29

curious and my fans You

20:33

know, they adore me and they constantly

20:35

pray for my well-being. Yes, just

20:37

assume Okay, can

20:39

you maybe talk a little bit about your

20:42

assessment of my physical condition?

20:45

You know sure I give you permission to the way I

20:47

don't want to I don't want

20:49

to violate the oath You clearly learn

20:51

learned maybe eight seconds ago A

20:54

little quick just a little that's a

20:56

little ribbing. All right, we all okay.

20:58

Okay Because

21:01

you didn't you really didn't seem to know what it was but well,

21:04

I mean you hear a hippopotamus

21:08

Hippocratic Hippocratic Hippocratic Dr.

21:14

Arroyo, I give you full permission to tell people who

21:16

were listening You

21:19

know who were concerned about me after the hot

21:21

ones and just want to know about my my

21:23

my condition in general, okay Yeah,

21:26

are you alive? Yes. I'm a lot. You're

21:28

welcome. Okay. All right. Well,

21:31

I don't think you're the reason I'm alive you

21:36

First of all many times you have Prescribed

21:39

me pills. Yes that I didn't think I

21:41

needed. All right, okay You've

21:43

I've gone and gotten the pills and then

21:46

you've taken them from me. That's

21:48

right. Is that a common? How does how does

21:50

that I don't that help me? I don't want

21:52

you to get addicted to those pills They're

21:56

very why do you have me you have me? They're very

21:58

very you have me pick up large

22:00

quantities of

22:02

these pills, which are highly

22:04

addictive. These

22:06

are big bottles, very large

22:08

bottles. And

22:11

then as I'm picking it up from

22:13

the drugstore, you're usually outside. Tapping on

22:16

the window. Yes.

22:18

And then you want the pills back

22:21

before I can even take them. Yes, yes. And

22:23

then I give you $25. But

22:26

I don't understand how that helps me medically. Well,

22:29

it gets you out of the house. You've got

22:31

to go to the

22:33

drugstore. You

22:35

meet people. I mean, it helps both of

22:37

us, really. It's even, pretty even. Dr.

22:40

Arroyo, if you don't mind, I've

22:42

noticed often when we

22:45

meet that your lab coat

22:47

seems like it is a little dirty. There's

22:53

sometimes and usually

22:56

when you think of a white lab coat, you

22:58

think of this pristine lab coat. And there have

23:00

been times, not always. Today it looks pretty good,

23:02

but... It's a new one. Okay. There

23:05

are times where it's looked like you

23:07

were rolling around in something or there's

23:09

dirt and some detritus. Is that something

23:11

that... Yes. Sometimes

23:15

my patients are reluctant to

23:17

meet with me and I have to

23:19

be a little more aggressive in performing

23:21

the exams. Wow. So

23:24

you're... Well, with Matt specifically,

23:26

I said, young man, you could use

23:28

an exam and he said, please, please

23:30

go away. I don't have

23:33

money. And then I

23:35

proceeded to do the exam and it

23:37

got physical. Yeah. I

23:39

heard there was a scuffle outside of the large offices. I

23:42

felt like I left that meeting with a sore

23:44

arm and a sore back. And so

23:46

I didn't come away with any medical awareness, any healing.

23:48

I was worse for the wear and that's the

23:50

opposite of what a doctor should be. Yes. At

23:53

the best you get a second opinion. You

23:58

say you give an amazing first opinion. give a

24:00

great first opinion. He wrote a prescription, put

24:02

it in my back pocket and slapped me

24:05

on the ass. Is that a common practice

24:07

for you? Yeah, it's a motivation tactic. Off

24:09

you go, young man. Be well. No. Is

24:14

this something you always dreamed of when you were a

24:16

young boy growing up? Up.

24:20

I did feel- Was

24:23

that the dream? You felt a calling?

24:25

I felt a calling to heal, to

24:28

be of service, to be

24:30

paid in cash, and it all came

24:32

true. It

24:34

all came true. And you are one of my

24:37

best patients. You're always very

24:39

tolerant of any procedures we do.

24:41

And I guess then I don't want

24:44

to take credit for your incredible health, but I do

24:46

feel like I play a part. Well,

24:48

I'm, you know, I have to

24:50

say, when I asked you to

24:52

come on Hot Ones, I had no idea that

24:54

you would suddenly become a famous person. And

24:57

you are now. You must be getting recognized.

25:00

I have been recognized, and but I want to

25:02

say I will, I still keep my rates low.

25:04

It hasn't gone to my head. And I am

25:07

still the same affordable doctor that you

25:09

know. Yeah. I want to say this.

25:12

You are the most affordable doctor that

25:15

I've ever worked with. Yes, of course. Because

25:18

you don't always need the most

25:20

expensive of everything. You

25:22

know, you don't write. You don't have to, you don't need

25:24

a Rolls Royce to take

25:26

it to the Goodwill.

25:31

And so you don't always

25:33

need the most expensive things. And I

25:36

think medical care is one of those things where

25:38

you can save a little money. Right. And then

25:40

spend it on something important later. Spend it

25:42

on something else. Yeah, on something important. Yeah.

25:45

Okay. Well, Dr. Arroyo, it's

25:48

been a treat having you on. My

25:50

pleasure. And as

25:53

a guest, this was not a, this was

25:55

not a consult. This was just a earringing

25:57

one. led

26:00

to believe it was a consultation.

26:02

I put in a billing

26:04

for it already. He

26:07

did. If you don't mind.

26:09

He just signaled. Yes. Yes.

26:11

Let me write you a prescription for some

26:14

pills. What will that be? How much

26:16

is that? I've got 20

26:18

is fine. 20 is fine. 20

26:22

dollars? 20 is fine. Is that

26:24

a copay or that's the full amount? That's

26:26

the full amount. 20 dollars. Oh my God.

26:29

I'm capable of paying more. It

26:32

would hurt me and my clean

26:35

oath. There you go. So

26:40

$19. So much. $19. That's an odd

26:42

amount. All right. A lot

26:44

of fun. This bill is moist. It's wet.

26:46

Were you in some kind of liquid earlier?

26:50

It's seen a lot. Dr.

26:52

Arroyo, go with

26:55

God. Yes.

26:58

Well, I try. Are

27:00

you okay now? Can you see yourself out? Do you

27:02

know how to get? Yes, of course. Do you know

27:05

how to get home? Yes. Yes. Yes. The bus is

27:07

right there. Okay.

27:09

Dr. Arroyo, thank you so much. Thank you. Conan

27:14

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