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1:51

Day June eighth and ninth. Conan

2:01

O'Brien needs a fan. Want

2:04

to talk to Conan? Visit

2:06

teamcoco.com/coldconan. Okay,

2:09

let's get started. Hi,

2:11

Laney. Laney, how are you? I'm great. How are

2:13

you doing? Doing really well. So let's set up

2:15

the story here because this is a little unusual.

2:18

A lot of people sort of cold call in and

2:21

we talk to them. You, I need to disclose

2:23

the truth. I was chatting with Backstage Beacon Theater.

2:28

Beacon Theater, is that correct? Yes, sir. Okay, why

2:30

don't you set the stage of, what was the

2:32

event? Do you remember the event? Because I do

2:34

so many events. I do so much

2:36

for so many people. Oh, God. What

2:38

was the event? Love Rocks. Yes, Love

2:41

Rocks. They had an amazing band for

2:43

Love Rocks. It's a great charity where

2:46

they feed people who

2:49

are in need in Los Angeles who

2:52

have, and give them nutritious

2:54

meals. I think people who are being

2:57

hospitalized or in some kind of treatment, it's a

2:59

great thing. They get really good people to

3:01

come out and do it. I couldn't believe the

3:04

talent that Love Rocks got out there at the

3:07

Beacon Theater. It was insane. It

3:09

was a surreal group of people. It was really cool. And

3:11

so you and I are chatting backstage and I think you

3:13

were saying you're a fan and I can't remember. I think

3:15

I said, well, you know, you should call

3:17

into the show sometime. Did I say it like

3:19

that? I cheated for

3:21

sure. I think I was

3:23

standing in there just like a babbling idiot, just

3:25

nonverbal. I went fully nonverbal. And

3:27

then Rebecca from Larkin Poe was

3:30

like, stopped you as you were trying to

3:32

leave and told you that I was a

3:34

gross fan of yours. What does

3:36

gross fan mean? Because I didn't think,

3:39

I didn't hear the term gross fan.

3:41

Did she say gross fan? She

3:44

might have said like aggressive or

3:47

intense. But all the

3:49

same. Let

3:51

me reveal something to you. This is all

3:53

a trick just to get your information

3:56

so that we can check on you because your intensity

3:58

of your fanhood was such a big deal. that we

4:00

thought we need to get eyes on you. A welfare

4:02

check? A welfare check? No, not a welfare check.

4:04

Well, I mean, if she's that big a fan

4:06

of you, I'm a little worried about it. You're

4:09

concerned for her. You're concerned for her

4:11

employability in the world. No,

4:14

I just think, you know, we have law

4:16

officers watching, so this whole thing's being monitored. I just

4:18

want you to know that right now. Where

4:20

are you right now? I appreciate that, darling. Do you

4:22

live in New York City? No, sir. I'm in Nashville.

4:25

I love to know, sir. Yes, I'm in

4:27

the military. You

4:30

live in Nashville, and so do you

4:32

work with Larkin Poe? Because they're fantastic.

4:34

They're very talented. Yes, I work with

4:37

them and a couple other touring camps.

4:39

Okay, so you're with Larkin Poe, and

4:41

they actually tried to convince me to

4:44

bring my guitar out on stage and

4:46

just wing it with them.

4:48

Oh, wow. Oh, yes. And I was telling

4:50

them, I'm too scared to wing it with

4:52

Larkin Poe, or pretty much anybody. I'd need

4:54

to, I'd need, I'd want a day of

4:57

rehearsal because I'm a comedian who pretends sometimes

4:59

to play an instrument. Just let it go,

5:01

man. No, that's not a good

5:03

idea. Oh, what's the worst that could happen? Oh,

5:05

I'll show it to you. Larkin

5:18

Poe banished from show business. Larkin

5:21

Poe records plummeting. Larkin Poe is

5:23

back catalog catalog destroyed. Oh, man.

5:25

Larkin splits with Poe. Yeah. Oh,

5:27

speak to Larkin. Larkin will speak

5:29

to Poe. Colonel

5:31

Brian destroys Larkin and Poe. Larkin

5:33

and Poe is now a law firm. Wait,

5:36

a successful law firm. It turns out this

5:38

is the best thing they ever did. There

5:40

you go. Now they're back in the music

5:42

business because they sued you. Funded by their

5:44

law firm. Yeah. Look what you did. What

5:46

a rollercoaster that was. That was a crazy ride.

5:49

I should have gone out there. Yes. So

5:52

when did you get addicted to, I wouldn't

5:54

say addicted to, but you became a

5:56

fan through the podcast or through so

5:58

much. Oh, yeah. I'm

6:01

sorry. She's clearly obsessed

6:04

and it's dangerous. Well through the podcast that means

6:06

you like me and Gorly too right? Oh, it

6:09

might be a little bit more so than Konya. You

6:13

could go. So I'll just show myself out. I

6:22

say that sensitively because isn't that the point

6:24

of the podcast? Yeah. Yeah.

6:26

No, it's true. People like to

6:28

see me inflate myself, float

6:31

to the ceiling and then these two, like,

6:33

like, you had a pinata. You bash

6:35

me with sticks. You're so good at

6:37

setting it up. You're

6:40

a master at self deflation.

6:42

Perpetual self deflation. You brought her on

6:44

to this show. Yes, I brought you on

6:46

to deflate me. But wait, tell

6:48

us about your life. So you are with these

6:50

different, you work with several bands and

6:52

you hit the road with them. Is that right? I

6:57

travel with them. It depends on which camp I'm in,

6:59

but I usually just take

7:01

care of instruments. Any groups I know besides Lark

7:03

and Poe? Reba McIntyre. Oh

7:05

my God. Oh, like Aaron Morris. Wait, what

7:07

was the last one? Aaron Morris. Oh

7:10

wow. Jesus, this is legit. You seem very

7:12

young. How did you get into this? This

7:15

is a good gig. I'm

7:18

very lucky. It's very cool. I'm

7:21

25, yes. And I

7:23

started when I was

7:25

21, 22 with Terry Clark. Her

7:28

tour manager at the time was a friend

7:30

of mine and he just needed somebody to fill in

7:32

on a weekend tuning guitars. I was like, I can

7:35

do that. And then it kind of

7:37

grew from there. Now,

7:39

you tune a guitar. This I

7:41

know, there's a little device now that goes

7:43

on the neck of the guitar. So you

7:45

can tune it pretty quickly, right? And

7:47

is it just that the musicians are too lazy

7:49

to do it for themselves? Is that what's

7:51

going on here? I Think

7:53

it's a matter of cleaner transitions and

7:55

making sure that the guitar stays in

7:57

tune because they're subject to the L.

8:00

Them in fact, side

8:02

humidity wins. Notes: Aldo at

8:04

know how can this aesthetic rape as lazy

8:06

I think that are going to have reliance

8:08

on him and sorry Clark's Macys I mean

8:10

I think would be very humbling and good

8:12

for their fans to see them a case

8:14

we stop and sooner guitar and sort of

8:16

her but it shows them that. They're.

8:18

Down in the muck with the rest of our

8:20

sunni Or are they still see that? Of

8:24

and I can't wait isn't of my question

8:26

eaten them to This place is my quest

8:28

assisted in as I have nine I have

8:30

I have six people to new markets are

8:32

one Food service. Or

8:34

how guy for the low. He and I

8:37

have two different guys guys just whenever you

8:39

guys has another one of my low he

8:41

guy. Mess. With my high you

8:43

guys the I keep them in separate rooms

8:45

as high of six people seats a dedicated

8:47

to one stress you gotta truss rod guys

8:50

the so yes of his says another guy

8:52

yeah I got a picard guy bomb as

8:54

i I mean at yet with that what

8:56

you said i'm a cable guy was and

8:58

will guy a dirty jobs and honestly right

9:00

about was that allow had a lawyer and

9:02

were to we were having a really good

9:04

time in any about something with your table

9:06

this which by the way he tries every

9:08

time and it's never a puzzling idea is

9:10

crazy is are showing what about keep. Up

9:13

with them front of sorts of Francis Ford

9:15

Coppola of about Megalopolis. Keep saying hippo ever

9:17

some police are you still have skills I

9:19

suspect. Oh you know, but skills? Yes yeah

9:22

I got to meet him. A Beacon Theater.

9:24

I meant to connect with them at it

9:26

which is a good skills and. Oh,

9:29

he's awesome And a yes or that was

9:31

he's really cool. We're. Not

9:34

getting really old hag and along a

9:36

lot and a chill skills or has

9:38

been with me. Since.

9:40

We did our big tour

9:42

in two thousand ten thousand

9:45

and I'm. His job every

9:47

knows. I would open the show and do this

9:49

song that would turn into a dance and then

9:51

I would throw my Stratocaster up in the air

9:53

and he would touch it and he caught it

9:55

every night. Was. Absolutely. Were you worried?

9:58

No no as he was going. The

10:00

guy it's a strategy ah you're I was

10:02

went on strike assuming the sky as as

10:04

are defined by yeah I just was. It's

10:06

it's skills and I thought you know to

10:08

mean to probably be okay so we're probably

10:11

wear a helmet. Side. I'm still.

10:13

He's great. He's terrific. And

10:15

he takes really good care of

10:17

me is sometimes my guitars perfectly

10:19

fine. And. He'll say we take

10:22

that guitar and. Given. Movie

10:24

freshly and I don't see it for couple months.

10:26

That's my one complaint. The skills. Ah

10:28

are going to have to talk about it personally, but

10:30

I like airing it here on the Air Force. And

10:34

when he's my guitar taxes is it goes

10:36

everywhere with mean he's I trust him with

10:38

my life he's a good man yeah we

10:40

had a lot and com and having stairs

10:42

similar artists we work for you and out

10:44

rebecca level oh so you're saying I'm that

10:46

you also work with difficult and same people.

10:48

so to say. I

10:51

would say more. So chaotic than

10:53

anything else. Gonna unpredictable. Yes, I

10:55

am a Chaos agents. Yes I.

10:58

I think I'm an unpredictable I'm

11:00

A. I'm a catalyst for joy

11:02

I believe. Oh well have one

11:05

way says keep moving I given

11:07

I guess but I never received

11:09

any way. I'm a spell your

11:11

name, your first name l A

11:13

and I so it's still a

11:15

se les any or lanes Laney

11:17

Laney but it's a cool name.

11:19

Where's the. Yes,

11:22

a good. she doesn't need a does

11:24

this look. Was it earlier of them?

11:26

Really Sure. How many

11:28

people say Lonnie? right?

11:30

Alive in our are they playing Cs and

11:32

you should put in a line over the

11:34

A So people know that it's like the

11:37

yes you know that line. They do that

11:39

with means oh yeah Lanny to them and

11:41

on the give you can have a cool

11:43

name. You know, Cache you just a one

11:45

name. What Lamy to send your name? Yeah,

11:48

it's it's it's it's it's about Barbara I

11:50

suppose. Gertrude I actually like Valuable. As he

11:52

said when you the great name. So.

11:55

you are you're you're in charge of all

11:57

the instruments have you ever lost an instrument

11:59

as it is ever gone missing on

12:01

your watch? On

12:03

my watch? No, but the artist has

12:05

forgotten their instrument at home and realized

12:08

when we got to the gig that

12:10

it happened. Why

12:12

did Reba do that? Reba

12:14

would never. Reba did, it

12:16

was Reba, I know it

12:19

was. The one night Reba

12:21

was gonna play the tuba.

12:23

And now folks, my tuba.

12:25

Wait, where is that? It's

12:28

sort of a hill. That's my

12:31

Reba impression. It's really bad. Everyone

12:33

does love Reba. I wish I had a

12:36

sitcom. I'll get

12:38

one. It's gonna be called Conan. I

12:40

just thought of it. Yeah, what's the

12:42

premise? The premise is exactly like Reba.

12:44

I have red hair and I'm living with

12:47

my family and I don't know. They're a

12:49

handful. You had a show named

12:51

Conan. Yeah, right. I forgot. No, I

12:53

mean a sitcom. Okay, yeah. Is

12:55

it gonna be Conan comma the sitcom?

12:58

No one calls a sitcom the sitcom.

13:00

Yeah, what would your sitcom be called?

13:02

Just Conan. But that's confusing.

13:04

Because you had a

13:06

show named Conan for 11 years

13:09

on TBS. So how would people know

13:11

if they're watching the talk show or

13:13

the sitcom? The Conan family. Okay.

13:15

And then I play all the different characters.

13:17

Green list. So bad. What a bad

13:20

idea. That's a great idea. I come

13:22

home, honey, I'm home and then you cut to

13:24

the top of the stairs and it's me. That's

13:26

just my wife. Conan,

13:28

you're so handsome. I thought it was gonna

13:31

be you come home and say honey, I'm

13:33

home and there's just never anyone there. It's

13:35

just always empty. They never existed. There

13:38

are 30 minutes of you just walking around

13:41

the house talking to yourself. Yeah. Doing bits.

13:43

That might fly. Green list. Lainey,

13:47

are you regretting that you called? Yeah. I

13:49

mean. Not at all. This is the highest

13:51

form of entertainment for me. Wow. We've

13:53

got to get you outside. Cut

13:57

to the rest, yeah. I

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what is that? I'll explain. Okay. That's

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I'm saying? I call it B2B, it's a little thing. It's

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19:02

That's my question. Nashville, very cool.

19:05

Man, that town's blowing up. I

19:07

mean, I was there, what, like

19:09

15 years ago, and then I came back

19:11

and they were two different places. The two

19:13

times I've, it was a long window between

19:15

when I played Nashville and it was two

19:18

completely different places. It's like Atlantic City. It's

19:20

overgrown. Is it overgrown? Terrible, yeah. Did you

19:22

grow up in Nashville? I did not. I

19:24

grew up in St. Louis, Missouri. Okay. So

19:26

you're kind of an interloper too. You're

19:29

kind of a problem. Do you know what I'm saying?

19:31

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say I'm

19:33

the epicenter of the destruction. Lenny,

19:37

that's kind of what I was trying to get to. The

19:40

beginning of the downfall. I think the beginning of

19:42

the downfall was you misrepresenting the pronunciation of your

19:44

name in the spelling. Sure,

19:46

sure. And then you- It is spelled incorrectly.

19:48

Then you move to Nashville and say, I

19:50

can't believe all these people moved to Nashville.

19:53

When, hello. Well, I brought them. You

19:57

came in a giant, a giant- The

20:00

mothership. Hundreds of thousands

20:02

of people. some. What?

20:04

What's the point? located? Along with

20:06

sound like your dad, what's the long

20:09

term plan here? That is that's

20:11

tough to. Decipher when you're

20:13

in the middle of touring because you

20:15

love it so much and you don't

20:17

necessarily want to leave pleasant and growth

20:20

is inevitable or you'd hope and so

20:22

I seem to. End goal would be

20:24

working and sort of a production management

20:26

role. still touring but and and a

20:29

higher bracket and also kind of less.

20:32

Hands on I'd guess. You

20:34

but sounds like that by I

20:36

Ascended. I'm talking for small to twenty

20:38

five. And you are a

20:41

very impressive person. I. Think I

20:43

didn't take me seriously because you said you were a fan. But.

20:47

Abide style. And but first of

20:49

all I would say. The. Fact

20:51

that you love what you do and you're

20:53

doing it successfully at twenty five is all

20:55

you have to know. The net slammed. Many

20:58

at the risk of being sincere the

21:00

next step will become obvious to but

21:02

I to be twenty five and be

21:04

doing what you love is magical that's

21:06

magical and guess so you I don't

21:08

worry about I think as if the

21:11

next step will become obvious to by

21:13

the doing of it.you say. Yes

21:15

or thank you? Yeah, I'm I'm just really enjoying

21:18

saying yes to. Opportunities that on my

21:20

way and as seeing what comes from

21:22

them. Like. This for essential and

21:24

the ice? I didn't have that java. Wouldn't

21:26

be able to these often era. Was

21:28

it was really don't I met? yeah

21:30

yeah yeah I was at large and

21:32

or poll who whom really made this

21:34

happen. On

21:37

son, it's funny enough, they're actually not lucky

21:39

And and power it's actually the name of

21:41

so I think force great grandfather of there's

21:44

and oh what a cool way that descendants

21:46

is Edgar Allen and so that is run

21:48

with that. A whole that's. Rebecca

21:50

and Megan are the two girls and Rebecca's the

21:53

one who stops you. A man yelled. At me

21:55

to write down my name because I was nonverbal and

21:57

couldn't. Deliver itself.

22:00

That's right. She's yelling at you. Write

22:02

down your name. Write down your name. Give

22:04

it to Conan. I thought it was very strange.

22:06

It was a very strange encounter. Yeah, it worked.

22:09

Yeah, I know. Look what happened. We got to

22:11

meet Laney and have a nice conversation. But maybe

22:13

now, Laney, maybe I should go out on tour

22:15

as a musical act. What do you think? Absolutely.

22:18

Yes. And then you should bring me in

22:20

skills and we'll have a great time. Or maybe we

22:22

lose skills. Aww. Well,

22:25

I'm just saying, what does he bring to the table? What

22:27

are you going to do if you go? I can't

22:29

do anything. I mean, Matt, you play guitar. Yeah,

22:31

Matt plays guitar. I can't

22:33

do anything. I'm terrible at music. Oh, but your

22:35

singing is very good. Once you show Laney what

22:37

you can do, go ahead. I'm a terrible singer.

22:39

Say, the sun will come out tomorrow. It's really

22:41

good. The sun will come out

22:43

tomorrow. That's

22:45

the bottom dollar that's

22:47

tomorrow. There's a sweetness

22:49

to that. I like it. Fuck you. No,

22:52

I'm being incredible. You know what? Oh, really?

22:54

I'm more into it than her

22:56

son will come out tomorrow. You look perfect.

22:59

Were you being genuine? I was being genuine, but

23:01

I retracted. I

23:03

thought you were doing a thing. No, no, no. There

23:05

was an innocence to it, like

23:07

someone discovering their voice for the first time. It's

23:10

because the song is like that. But I can't sing. Sing

23:15

a Cher song. Yeah. Oh. Yeah,

23:18

you love Cher. Can we hear a Cher song? They

23:20

say our love won't pay

23:22

the rent before it's earned.

23:24

Our money's all been spent.

23:27

Okay. Laney,

23:31

help me. What the fuck? In

23:33

her defense, I think she

23:35

might have more experience saying fuck you than singing. Yeah,

23:38

true. Sing fuck you. Fuck

23:40

you. Oh my God. You could shatter a

23:42

glass of talent. She's

23:45

like fuck you. Fuck

23:47

you. Oh no. And all the glasses in the neighborhood

23:49

shatter. Oh, oh, oh. Yes,

23:54

suddenly you're signed up for the Metropolitan. It's

23:57

okay. Okay. I know that

23:59

about myself. It's fine. You know yourself and that's your

24:01

greatest quality. That's right.

24:04

But I'm saying if you go on a musical

24:06

tour, what do we do? Can you just pay

24:08

me to do nothing? I do that now. That's

24:11

true. Lainey,

24:14

before we go, tell us a little bit about

24:16

your everyday life. Give us a sense of who

24:18

you are. All we've talked to is the working

24:21

Lainey who's yes sir, no sir, three

24:24

bags full sir. What do you do for fun?

24:29

When I'm home, my routine is usually

24:32

take care of my

24:34

dog, work out, find some way

24:36

to form income that day. Good

24:39

Lord. Yeah, it's

24:41

very exciting. Okay.

24:45

So this is just full. Any criminal would

24:47

say the same thing. Find

24:49

some way to create income. Let's just get

24:51

that. I know

24:54

that you've got a stack of Wallace behind you. Yeah,

24:58

I know. I play guitar. I like to

25:00

hike. I like to be active as much as I

25:02

can. I like to go to shows in town. Lainey,

25:05

as you can tell, and then you probably noticed

25:07

when I came past the Larkin Poe dressing room

25:09

that I'm a workout fiend as well. Pause.

25:12

Pause. Pause. Pause.

25:15

Anyway, what's your workout regimen? Me, I like weights. I

25:17

like my cardio. Pause. Pause.

25:20

What do you like to do? What do you lift, bro?

25:25

I usually put on a weighted vest.

25:28

Like you've talked about recently that Liza's done. I'll

25:30

walk. I'll walk about for a while, Luke.

25:33

My wife wears a weighted vest. I

25:36

also wear a weighted vest. My

25:38

marital responsibility! We all waited for it. There

25:41

it is. The punch line. It was going to

25:43

go three different ways. There

25:46

was nine different ways. I

25:48

was going to say the two of us were

25:50

your weighted vest. No, no. That goes around my

25:53

neck. That's called the

25:55

load stone. That

25:58

sounds like you should get checked. But

26:02

he allowed does. Not a bad name

26:04

for band. Yeah, there's a gentleman Lodestone.

26:07

Is is that what you can? Sure as I don't

26:09

know, Yet been thinking about. And.

26:11

Like to go out on the road and

26:13

really would and you know what? I think

26:15

I would trust you. I would trust you

26:17

to run things on the road with skills.

26:19

Okay would skills be upset If I put

26:21

you I would put skills boonies you and

26:23

I would put you in so be in

26:25

charge of skills. You're. Asking if you think

26:27

he'd be upset and as. Natsios I

26:30

should point out is seventy nine years

26:32

old. And or

26:34

twenty five. But still. I mean, we don't

26:36

have much more competent. Interstate.

26:39

And then the and then doesn't just tell you that

26:41

he's looking for forms of income when now is the

26:43

most accurate way she could assess. Assess the hell of

26:45

a fifth of and screw those. and we were. We

26:47

say no, I won't put down skills anymore cause I

26:49

love you too much isn't and he's great. He's the

26:52

best. But. I'm I'm glad we

26:54

met now. Can I just ask you

26:56

have this meeting was I was a

26:58

normal during the meeting or. Was.

27:01

I you can says.

27:03

Oh I'm actually really glad you asked because

27:06

the point unless you at you are pretty

27:08

I think stressed in that moment. you had

27:10

a lot thrown at you from at their.

27:12

Eldest son giving you more tasks to do.

27:14

a great idea to say yes. And

27:17

I thought that was really cool to see you know

27:19

that the humanity of in the humility as it of

27:21

you. Just being vulnerable and saying this is a

27:23

lot and I see more than what I thought

27:25

I was getting into than more than I ask

27:27

for ourself you mean he was doing a really

27:29

nice know that I was. Oh.

27:33

My a silo I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't

27:35

other night you know I remember is it was

27:37

as it was like a lot of things we

27:39

show up. And. You're told you

27:41

gonna do one thing I'm and suddenly it keeps

27:43

multiplying. And. Exact happens is. Anybody.

27:47

You discuss it's fear. It's just fear.

27:49

Yes, it's like, oh shit. It. Has

27:51

not going to do that would if that doesn't go well as I

27:54

had that one song and he was going to do upfront. And

27:56

then introduce the show. Start the

27:59

show. By. But. Then when there's

28:01

more than that, there's fear. And that

28:03

never goes away. I've always waiting for that

28:05

to go away. And then I realized. Ah,

28:09

She's. The but hasn't gone away. Now that

28:11

is never going away. You.

28:13

Probably say at all like. All

28:16

the time. Yeah, it. Was really gets to see

28:18

to see that. like is that fear? Still gives you drive

28:20

and it's the reason to keep doing what you're doing. And

28:23

or is this call it the whole eye Celebrities they just

28:25

like us sang the say that some of you. Look up

28:27

to isn't isn't two different. Some of them

28:29

are not like us. There's some solace bastards

28:31

out there who powerful and I found that

28:33

hotel. yeah yeah, will do the names on

28:35

the next by just yeah I'll just give

28:38

the names but we all know the tell

28:40

all. we all know who were talking about

28:42

Jason Bateman. S

28:48

And come on, Jason knows I'm sitting.

28:52

Bomb. Was very nice talking

28:55

to you and finally getting the word. Allah.

28:57

Jason Bateman Yeah, it's time to sit

28:59

them down. Yeah known as Guinea Wesco Will

29:01

Arnett he'll tell you. Ah monster monster posing

29:03

as a man. I'm it was

29:06

lovely talking to you. I hope our paths

29:08

cross again. Next time you see

29:10

me backstage a job will say this if

29:12

it's before have gone on I will be

29:14

nervous someone. Long time ago.

29:16

Told. Me: If you're not nervous before you go

29:19

on, something's wrong. Some. And

29:21

I think that's traditionally cough Think that's the

29:23

good news on the bad news about this

29:25

business. but very cool talking to. I think

29:27

so business and music is in good hands

29:29

if you're out there. seriously settings yeah next

29:32

interview have a question of that's appropriate course.

29:34

I'm in a little bit. a contacts that

29:36

isn't exactly kind of. I grew up. Kind

29:39

is hating you I guess. and

29:41

then. Oh I love going on a

29:43

mat. Would enjoy. Go on and around. Law.

29:46

And in college my best friend introduced

29:48

me to the podcast I. absolutely

29:50

so in love with it was not telling my

29:52

mom about it and i was saying why did

29:54

i hate him like what's going on like white

29:56

and i never thinks it's funny and she said

29:58

that when hours a small

30:00

child, so like toddler age, you

30:03

would come on the screen and terrify

30:05

me and I would scream anytime

30:07

I saw your hair. So

30:15

you didn't like me because as a

30:17

child my hair, I frightened you when

30:19

you were in a formative stage. You

30:22

were too young and you were frightened by the

30:26

weird Muppet on TV. That's what I've been told,

30:28

yes, and I guess that grew and I

30:31

never questioned it. That's

30:33

a great question. That's not a question

30:35

at all. The

30:37

question would be, what tactics would you use

30:39

to convince a child who is afraid of

30:41

you to not be afraid? Well

30:44

that's really creepy. That's

30:46

creepy on so many levels. I have some candy.

30:49

You little child. Get in my van. You like

30:51

van? Here's a red balloon. Oh

30:53

my God. You know what? Oh

30:56

my God. You know what I've always noticed? I'll

30:59

answer this seriously even though this is an

31:01

invitation to be arrested. I

31:03

just did this last night because I was

31:05

over at Sona's house and she has twins

31:08

who are almost three. What I've

31:10

always done with little kids

31:12

is because I'm 6'4 and then my

31:15

features and my hair

31:17

can be frightening, actually the people of all ages,

31:19

I get

31:22

down on the floor and get lower than them. Animals

31:27

and kids chill when

31:29

you're smaller than they are. I

31:32

just get on the floor and I got on the floor of

31:34

Mikey and Charlie's room, Sona, and you weren't there.

31:37

They both immediately just start jumping

31:40

on me and bashing me but

31:42

laughing and having a good time

31:44

because I'm now smaller than they are. You're

31:46

on their level. I'm beneath their level and I'm

31:49

beneath them and they knew I was always beneath

31:51

them. That's

31:53

I guess my tactic. I apologize for that being creepy. I was

31:55

unintentional. No, no, no,

31:57

but I like how it started for most of

31:59

my life. hated you and then there

32:02

was a medium where I couldn't see you but could hear

32:04

you. But from a toddler's

32:06

perspective, you can be scary because you

32:08

also do like close-up shots of your face

32:10

a lot, you dance around. Yeah. I'm

32:13

a little toddler. I'd be like, oh my God,

32:15

what's happening with this guy? Yeah, he's very needy,

32:17

something's wrong with him. Oh, I don't know. Well,

32:20

I appreciate the honesty of the question and I hope you

32:22

can go back and review the best

32:24

of some of my early work and maybe

32:27

reevaluate it. Oh, I have an eye door.

32:29

It's great. Oh, there I

32:31

am. I realize what I've been missing. I realize what

32:33

I was missing, yeah. Oh, she's my favorite now. Yeah.

32:36

Okay. Well, Lainey, we're going to

32:38

jump off but really nice to talk to you again.

32:40

I'm glad this worked out. My best

32:42

to the ladies of Larkinpo and

32:45

thank you so much for calling in.

32:47

This is cool. Well, thank you. I

32:50

really appreciate it. It was great meeting all

32:52

of you. All right. Take care, Lainey. Bye-bye.

32:55

Thanks. Conan O'Brien needs a

32:57

friend. Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and

32:59

Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt

33:01

Gorley. Executive produced by Adam

33:03

Sacks, Nick Liao and Jeff Ross at

33:05

Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody

33:07

Fisher at Year Wolf. It

33:09

seems sung by the White Stretch. Incidental

33:12

music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

33:17

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and

33:19

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33:22

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33:24

production support by Mars Melnick. Full

33:27

booking by Paula Davis, Tina Batista and

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