The title and cover are intentional for this story; hoping to grab the attention of the audience, of course, but even more than that - drawing you into what the Lord set in my heart to communicate, in light of my last 17 years. This burden has become my confession of nearly 2 decades under the White, evangelical subculture known to most as "Christianity." Being stuck in a "White American-Christian purgatory" by being “white” on the surface in the name of Jesus, peace, and harmony while denying my kingdom blackness (sometimes forced and other times by volition) has withered the soul. This dichotomy I lived (and that others are compelled to endure in the name of “gospel”) is nothing more than modern-day colonization. It is a theological “bleach,” to use the words of one of my heroic, pastor-friends from Brooklyn.

This way of living robs people of the God-honoring beauty that we all have. This audiobook is a story of freedom toward Jesus’s (Yeshua’s) kingdom way of living. Jesus (Yeshua) revealed that living for him, using the gifts of my skin, culture, height, and appearance filtered through the gospel of the kingdom, is more than necessary—it is powerful. Jesus showed me a real black A.D. Thomason is better than an assimilated, castrated, and colonized one, no matter how many bible verses we attach to that man's methodology.

The aim of this book is to be transparent about my shortcomings. I will "throw" myself under the proverbial bus in hopes to set others free. However, where I believe it is pertinent, I will be honest about situations that include other people and institutions. Though my years of being white on the surface are over, I share this narrative, God's waterfall of favor, to liberate others.

Whether it was advice I was given, people telling me what I needed to be, the platform I was trying to obtain; whether it was sheer misguidance, no guidance, or pure scriptural manipulation for systemic progression: the aim is freedom, not condemnation. This story will make you laugh, cry, hurt deeply, and feel encouraged, but most of all, I pray this offering will set you free to embrace who you are both physically and spiritually in Jesus (Yeshua).

My hope is that you will be inspired, set free to practice the ways of Jesus (Yeshua). Not to merely speak and learn about them, for this is to know him.