0:00

Wow. I just finished up recording this

0:00

episode and I think you guys are

0:02

going to absolutely love this

0:02

guest I'm bringing on today.

0:06

Her name is Ashley Strong Smith. I actually met her here in my city,

0:08

which is lake Arrowhead, California

0:11

at a women's business meetup group. And she's literally so amazing

0:13

and she's just so passionate about

0:17

what she does and today's episode,

0:17

we're going to dive really deep.

0:20

We're not just going to talk about the business stuff, guys. We're actually going to talk about

0:22

things that we need to internally

0:24

focus on for ourselves to be really

0:24

aligning ourselves with our lives

0:28

and really where we want to go and

0:28

what that actually looks like for us.

0:31

So in today's episode, we're going to

0:31

be talking about how to really fill your

0:34

own cup and really just allow yourself

0:34

to let the world unfold in front of you.

0:39

And how to navigate as things

0:39

happen and things change and

0:42

just knowing and recognizing that

0:42

everything's going to be okay.

0:45

We're going to talk about how to

0:45

align yourself with your wants

0:47

and needs that you actually need,

0:47

not just in the business, but

0:50

also for yourself personally. And she's going to share a lot

0:52

of practical steps in knowing and

0:55

making sure that you're living

0:55

in your honest, full truth.

0:58

So today's episode, I think you're

0:58

absolutely gonna love it and make sure

1:01

that you have a pen and paper because

1:01

she's got some really great steps and

1:04

tricks and things that you guys can

1:04

use to get yourself fully aligned with

1:08

where you actually want to be in life. Hey everyone, and welcome back

2:06

to yet another episode of the conquering workflows and systems

2:08

for bookkeepers and accounts podcast

2:10

with your host here, Alyssa Lang. I'm so excited because I actually

2:12

get to bring someone on that I

2:15

have met personally in real life. And it's just so interesting how we met.

2:19

And I just can't wait for the conversation

2:19

that's about to happen today, but.

2:23

Funny story about our lovely guests today.

2:25

A friend of mine um, which I know

2:25

that most of you have, if you're in my

2:28

program, you've met my friend, Nicole. She's done some sessions for you guys

2:29

virtually on yoga and all the fun things.

2:34

One day she was like, Hey,

2:34

I'm going to go to this like

2:36

mountain, like women's like group.

2:39

It's like women and like entrepreneurs. And it's on the mountain

2:41

up here in Lake Arrowhead. And I was like, I'll go.

2:45

Sure. Yeah, I'll go. So I showed up with her and like,

2:46

I had a really good time and it was

2:49

just like, really interesting to meet

2:49

other women where I live because we

2:52

live very remotely that are also in

2:52

entrepreneurship, because as most of

2:56

you know, it is quite a lonely road.

2:58

And so it was really cool. And then me and Ashley kind of hit it off.

3:01

And then the second time around we

3:01

were talking about some amazing,

3:04

cool things that she's doing. So I thought she was the most perfect

3:06

guest to be bringing on about a topic

3:09

that I think for me is very near and dear

3:09

to my heart, which I know a lot of our

3:12

listeners want to talk about strategy,

3:12

but really it's about the deep work.

3:16

So we're about to get deep. So welcome to the show, Ashley.

3:19

So feel free to introduce yourself and

3:19

tell everyone about all your amazing.

3:22

Oh, I really just first

3:22

want to say thank you.

3:25

Such a beautiful opportunity and

3:25

experience to connect in this way.

3:29

I think when there is an intentional

3:29

conversation that happens, there

3:33

is so much depth that is felt and

3:33

covered and rawness and realness.

3:39

And it is like what I geek out about. So I'm just really grateful.

3:42

Thank you for the invitation. Who am I?

3:44

All the fun things. I think more so than anything, I

3:45

just feel like a very blessed soul.

3:50

I feel like I live a life that

3:50

is beyond my wildest dreams.

3:55

And it is the result of a lot of

3:55

intentional, incremental, small decisions.

4:01

I met my husband when I was teaching

4:01

English in Tanzania on a small

4:06

Island called Mafia Island, who

4:06

I just literally, he said, hello.

4:10

And I was That was the end of that.

4:13

And so we've been married now and

4:13

together for 13 years, did cross

4:17

continent, immigrated him here.

4:19

We have an almost five year

4:19

old daughter who is Hilarious.

4:23

Like legitimately hilarious.

4:26

And I just think it is the

4:26

funniest thing to watch this

4:28

little human be so much of herself.

4:32

We've got a little bit of a

4:32

zoo here, so I'm sure at some

4:34

point animal will jump up. We've got two dogs and a cat.

4:39

And who I am really from how I

4:39

interconnect with the world outside

4:43

of myself and family is, as I

4:43

mentioned, I feel like I live a

4:48

life beyond my wildest dreams, like. The younger version of me never thought

4:50

I was smart enough or pretty enough or

4:54

good enough or rich enough or whatever

4:54

the enough story was that I never thought

4:59

that I would have the opportunity to

4:59

live out these feelings that were in me.

5:05

And for so long, I had

5:05

really strong feelings have

5:08

always been really connected. I'm a cancer, so I'm super

5:10

connected to my emotions.

5:13

But for so many years, I

5:13

didn't make sense to myself.

5:17

Then I went through the shoulds

5:17

and the supposed tos of lives.

5:21

I went to college. I got my nine to five right afterwards.

5:25

Funny story. I don't know if you know this,

5:26

but I was actually an accounting

5:28

major for one semester. What?

5:30

I cried, girl. I cried. I cried my way through every single

5:32

exam because I'm like, I don't get this.

5:38

It doesn't make sense in my head.

5:40

Yep. And I'm like, is this normal?

5:42

And I was so grateful. I had a guidance counselor that

5:44

I went to and I just broke down.

5:46

I'm like, am I like, I'm like, am

5:46

I just like, am I not smart enough?

5:50

You know, but really it just wasn't in my

5:50

being, you know, but it was really funny.

5:55

But through a lot of exploration,

5:55

pieces of me started to make more sense.

6:00

In college, I started as an accounting

6:00

major that didn't make sense.

6:05

I went to a teaching major that

6:05

felt a little more aligned, but it

6:08

felt really pigeonholed because as I

6:08

started going through it, I realized

6:12

you only get a teaching credential

6:12

to teach in a classroom with a

6:16

very specific curriculum, I'm assuming. Exactly.

6:20

And so, yeah, exactly.

6:22

So I share this because it's a lot of

6:22

little steps that enable our full selves

6:28

to really start to shine through that.

6:31

The big connection point was I

6:31

actually had made the decision.

6:34

I'm just going to focus on

6:34

taking my GE courses, like

6:37

these general education classes. And I took an Africana studies course.

6:41

So like an African history

6:41

course, and I Was head over heels.

6:45

I was like, I need to know everything

6:45

because what had started to happen.

6:50

Like I grew up. With music and a lot of reggae music,

6:51

my friends at school were in a really

6:57

popular band for such a young age.

6:59

I would always go tour with them. And so I got to know a lot of reggae

7:00

artists and what I started to realize

7:05

what this, this reggae music that I

7:05

had grown up to in African history,

7:10

there was such a deep correlation. And so it fascinated me.

7:14

And so that kind of really was

7:14

the foundation of me starting to

7:18

understand these pieces of myself. So I wound up minoring

7:20

in Africana studies.

7:23

I majored in business marketing

7:23

because I wanted, I knew I was going

7:26

to work at the time I wanted to work

7:26

for a nonprofit or like a human.

7:31

So I'm like that way I can fuel both

7:31

sides of my like curiosity, but ultimately

7:36

what it brought me to was I had worked

7:36

for the PBS, the like local PBS station

7:41

right outside of college and loved it.

7:45

And. I outgrew it and it became really loud.

7:48

Like something just felt

7:48

like it was missing.

7:51

And so I went, I'm really connected to

7:51

this part of my story right now, cause

7:54

I'm actually writing my first book. And my story is the book is

7:56

not an autobiography, but

8:00

my story is the inspiration. I've like pulled apart what I've done.

8:04

But really what that like piece

8:04

that was missing was I went

8:08

into a lot of exploration.

8:10

A lot of personal exploration and

8:10

what it ultimately did was reconnected

8:15

me back when I was in college. I wanted to do the Peace

8:17

Corps more than anything.

8:20

I had gone to all the meetings. I had paperwork in hand and then I found

8:21

out it was a 27 month commitment and

8:25

I totally chickened out at the time. But that burning desire was still in me.

8:31

And so I found a program

8:31

that was way smaller.

8:34

It was a three month program. And at the time my, I applied

8:35

for the program, I got accepted.

8:40

My job was remarkable. They gave me a sabbatical at

8:41

work, which I never in my life

8:45

thought that was going to happen. And so I got to live out.

8:48

a dream and go teach English in Africa.

8:51

Um, I'd always wanted to like live on

8:51

the African continent and that really

8:55

became the catalyst and the catapult

8:55

for me just making sense to myself.

9:01

And what happened there was for the first

9:01

time in my life, I got to know myself

9:06

outside of the parameters that typically

9:06

in the United States and in our lives

9:10

define us, like what our job is, who

9:10

our friends are, the type of car that we

9:14

drive, what our clothes are, like how we

9:14

present ourselves, all of these things

9:18

that, yes, they are self expression, but

9:18

they do become this definition of worth.

9:24

And when all of that is removed, we start

9:24

like what it does, or at least what it did

9:30

for me was it opened up the space to start

9:30

to look at what is the worth within me.

9:34

When everything is removed, who is this

9:34

soul that is moving through this world?

9:39

And that space and time really

9:39

allowed me to connect with that.

9:44

And now it's my mission and purpose to

9:44

do that for as many women as I possibly

9:49

can without them having to do something

9:49

drastic like going and teaching English

9:55

in Africa for three months and living in

9:55

a local village and taking bucket showers.

9:59

Like, Without having to do that drastic

9:59

big component, how do we do that in

10:04

our very real lives by just making

10:04

these small intentional actions?

10:08

Yes. I love that. And I love the story. I haven't even had the

10:10

chance to hear it from you.

10:12

So it's actually really cool to now hear it. And it's so funny because we're recording.

10:15

We're literally in the same city. It's so weird to me because.

10:18

I'm so used to talking to people

10:18

all over the world at this point.

10:21

And I'm like, it's so funny when

10:21

we're like literally probably right

10:24

down the street from each other. And I just love hearing this story

10:25

because I love hearing people's origins.

10:29

And I think everybody else to

10:29

the listeners as well is that

10:31

it's so interesting to see. And one thing that I wrote down that

10:33

I really wanted to kind of reconnect

10:35

back to was What it sounded like

10:35

to me was that you allowed whatever

10:40

life was unfolding in front of you. You didn't have a predetermined path.

10:44

You might have one point thought you

10:44

might have needed a certain path, but

10:46

you allowed life to kind of direct you in

10:46

whatever direction it kind of took you.

10:51

Which is interesting because it really

10:51

resonates with me because here at Workflow

10:54

Queen, this is now my third company. This company would not have existed

10:56

if I didn't have my first company.

11:00

First business and gone through my

11:00

own struggles with running, trying

11:03

to build my own team, build my own

11:03

systems from my accounting firm,

11:06

like do all these different things. And.

11:09

I only started this company literally

11:09

to help other accounting firms.

11:12

Like I used to just do like a sauna setups. I no longer do like setups anymore,

11:14

but at that time I just did as

11:17

an extension of the company. And then it became so many people were

11:18

like, Alyssa, like we need support.

11:21

I was like, this is not scalable. I cannot be doing all these

11:22

setups I have to create.

11:25

And that's when the programs came. And now we're at this point,

11:26

it's just so funny how.

11:29

If I would have resisted

11:29

that, oh, that's not my path.

11:31

No, that's not where I'm supposed to go. This would have never been created.

11:34

And the third would have never been created. And life would have never

11:36

become, I would have probably never even moved to Arrowhead.

11:39

Like there's so many,

11:39

it's so interesting to me.

11:41

So I am a firm believer.

11:44

Just like you, that allow life to

11:44

like take its steps even though it's

11:48

really scary to go unfold in whatever

11:48

direction it's going to go into.

11:52

So that leads me into my first question. For anybody who, we're going to get super

11:54

deep, I already know it, on this call.

11:57

I'm just super pumped about it. How do you have the conversation

11:59

with someone to help them to

12:03

understand where the fine line

12:03

between, selfishly acting versus

12:08

allowing it to be exactly what it is? Like where it takes you,

12:11

you know what I mean? Yeah.

12:14

I, no, one's asked that question before,

12:14

and I love the way that you phrased it.

12:18

There's a few things that I really felt

12:18

when you were sharing is all too often.

12:26

We want to know, like, we

12:26

want to know everything.

12:29

If I, if I do a, is B C D E F

12:29

G H I all going to work out,

12:36

you know, but the truth is.

12:39

We will never know even what B is if

12:39

we don't take the single step to start

12:45

with a, and so the, like the thing that

12:45

I've learned, even in the work that

12:50

I've done and how I share it with women

12:50

when I launched my coaching business,

12:55

I used to call it courage coaching

12:55

because it takes so much courage.

13:00

To listen to those steps, to

13:00

trust life, to like, you know, to

13:04

courageously take a step at a time.

13:06

And though courage can really sometimes

13:06

just get honed in, in a category of

13:12

like doing something big, like jumping

13:12

out of a plane or moving to Africa.

13:16

But the truth is like every single

13:16

one of us are innately courageous

13:21

within us because each and every

13:21

single one of us can take one step.

13:27

It's in all of us. So the first thing that I like Sharon

13:28

say is like, just focus on what the next

13:36

step is, because just as you take one

13:36

step, how to take the next step will

13:43

reveal itself, it will get you to point B.

13:46

just as you just shared

13:46

with your three companies.

13:48

So point B was maybe company

13:48

two, but I'm sure there was a

13:51

lot of small points in there. Then once you get to point B, you

13:53

just have to take one more step to

13:57

point C and so much is revealed.

14:01

So we can, the way that I support women

14:01

and that I truly believe in understanding

14:08

how do we even take that first step is

14:08

something that I'm actually so grateful.

14:12

I get to share it with your audience on a

14:12

really intimate level is something that I

14:16

call creating a heart center foundation. And your question girl is such a

14:19

beautiful confirmation of why I

14:23

geek out about this concept so much.

14:25

So what creating a heart centered

14:25

foundation is ultimately understanding

14:29

who are you when no one is looking.

14:32

Who is this soul that is like

14:32

moving you through this world?

14:37

Some people call it their intuition. Some people call it their inner voice.

14:41

Like people call it different things. And

14:43

so how to find this is

14:43

answering these questions.

14:48

What are your values? So what are these qualities about

14:50

life that like you appreciate or

14:54

enjoy or like are attracted to? What do you value about life?

14:58

So these are your experiences. Think of these as like an

15:00

act of doing something.

15:03

What do you love? Like, what are those things that when

15:04

you do it, you just feel that warmth,

15:07

that like silly getting warmth inside.

15:10

What are you curious about? So what are these things that when someone

15:12

says something that antenna goes up and

15:15

you're like, Oh, That sounds really cool.

15:18

I want to know more about that. Or okay. What brings you joy?

15:21

So what are these things

15:21

that like fill up your cup?

15:23

Yeah. That can be interchangeable

15:25

with like, what inspires you?

15:28

So what are these things

15:28

that ultimately motivate you?

15:31

And the last question in this is

15:31

what does success mean to you?

15:36

And I know that that

15:36

question is so different.

15:39

From the previous ones, but why

15:39

it's so important is that question

15:43

of what does success mean to you? It is that bridging of the gap of

15:45

why are you doing what you're doing?

15:51

Why do you want, like, why are you even

15:51

wanting to make that first step to get to

15:56

point a, we've got to understand ourselves

15:56

to then build that trust with ourselves

16:03

to be able to slowly take those steps.

17:14

I love that. I love all the questions because

17:15

I'm gonna make sure we write all

17:17

those down because those are great. One thing that hits as you were

17:19

like talking about it is one, we're

17:23

always going to shift towards the

17:23

business because obviously our

17:25

listeners are business owners. So I figured we would eventually get to

17:27

that conversation, but you kind of easily

17:30

segue segue into that next conversation.

17:32

Um, but one thing that you kind

17:32

of talked about was aligning like

17:35

what does that success mean to you? And I think this goes to like one.

17:39

It's so important We teach the why in

17:39

one of my programs and we talk about

17:42

like the deep internal why of why? You're doing what you're doing.

17:45

What do they call it? The seven layers of why

17:45

like always asking yourself? Well, why like but why do you want?

17:49

Oh, I want to make money, but

17:49

why do you want to make money?

17:52

Why do you want it? Oh, because I want my car. But why do you want the car?

17:55

Like what do you really want? Because you need to get deep to

17:56

understand so you can really connect

17:59

with what you do and your purpose with

17:59

what we're building every single day.

18:03

And so one of the things that

18:03

like, literally this just

18:06

happened like three days ago. One of our students, so my group coaching

18:08

program, breakthrough, which any of

18:12

the listeners here who's breakthrough

18:12

students, Ashley will actually be

18:15

doing a session pretty soon for y'all. So I can't wait for her to be doing

18:16

a private session for you guys.

18:19

But in that program, one of the, a woman

18:19

I met in the bathroom a couple of years

18:23

ago at a place I was speaking in Vegas. And she was telling me about her business

18:26

and where it's at and just the frustration

18:29

and just wanting to be out of it. And we were talking about

18:31

like, it's possible.

18:33

Yeah. You know, the strategy. The systems, the team, the people,

18:35

but then there's the also like,

18:38

but what are you working for? Like, what are you actually going towards?

18:42

The other day, like three days ago, I

18:42

like literally saw this and I bawled and

18:46

she was like, the day is finally here. I don't even know what to do with myself.

18:49

I feel like I literally need an SOP.

18:52

just to like know how to like

18:52

function with not being in the weeds.

18:57

My team is running the show. Clients are happy.

19:00

I just took Memorial Day weekend off and

19:00

it's been so beautiful and it's so cool.

19:04

But her deep why was like,

19:04

I can't keep doing this.

19:07

I want to live my life

19:07

to its absolute fullest.

19:10

So therefore how can I get support?

19:12

So yeah, part of that

19:12

support was working with us.

19:15

But the other part of that

19:15

was I saw her do so much work.

19:19

And the, the, just the frustration

19:19

she had, the one on one calls, the,

19:24

her sharing in communities, and

19:24

I'm just so beyond proud of her.

19:28

But I just wanted to share that

19:28

story mostly because if she didn't

19:32

connect to what she really desired

19:32

and what she needed for her future,

19:37

she would have never put in the work. And I think it's literally the most

19:38

important thing is the mindset and

19:41

the inner foundation before you

19:41

can build anything on top of it.

19:44

I mean, I'm geeking out and like

19:44

snapping for this woman, whoever, right.

19:49

She's beautiful. I love her. Yes.

19:51

Yes. Yes. And you shared some So

19:51

beautifully, a few things.

19:55

One, you need to know your why,

19:55

because that becomes your equilibrium.

19:59

That becomes your spine. It's like, I always think of it.

20:01

Do you remember those toys that

20:01

you had as a kid where there was

20:04

a weight on the bottom and if you

20:04

pushed it, it would pop back up.

20:09

And it's like, if you're think of

20:09

the weight as your equilibrium,

20:13

there's going to be life happens. We're in a human experience.

20:17

There's going to be times where you're

20:17

little, I don't know what they're called.

20:21

You're a little pendulum thing. I know what you're talking about.

20:24

Yeah. Is going to get knocked down, you

20:25

know, but if you've got a really strong

20:30

equilibrium, you are going to come back.

20:32

And what starts to happen is so

20:32

beautiful is you grow and expand.

20:36

So not only are you going to come

20:36

back to your equilibrium, but it's

20:39

going to get even more connected. Even more full, even more intentional

20:41

because you've done the work.

20:46

The other thing that I really

20:46

wanted to highlight about what

20:48

you shared in that woman's story

20:48

is small, intentional action.

20:55

Every single day compounds.

20:57

It's my mantra in life right

20:57

now, compounds to major change.

21:01

Transformation and the

21:01

realization of your dreams.

21:04

Had she not taken that first

21:04

step, I think you said you had

21:08

a conversation in a bathroom. Had she not had that

21:10

conversation in the bathroom?

21:12

That was her point. A, she would not be at her point Z, her

21:13

definition of success today, and that two

21:19

years, it didn't just happen overnight.

21:22

For the last two years, she has been

21:22

putting in so much small Work that then

21:29

layered to this major life transformation

21:29

and realization of her dreams.

21:34

And so I just share that and highlight

21:34

it for the women listening, because

21:37

sometimes it's so it's, we go into

21:37

analysis paralysis when we're like,

21:42

okay, I know, I know what I want.

21:44

So how do I even get there? And it's like, yes, you do need to

21:46

know where you're driving your car,

21:50

but let's get real on a road trip. Are you going to map out exactly

21:51

where you're going to stop and get

21:54

a coffee and to go to the bathroom.

21:57

Th Yeah.

22:03

I love that. I love the connection between the car

22:04

ride because I'm like really big on

22:06

analogies that make sense for people. And it does because you're right.

22:09

Like, I mean, I could also have drank a

22:09

whole water bottle right before I leave

22:13

and like, we never know where we're

22:13

going to be, but then I hoped I didn't

22:16

have to go into like four hours later. So I really love that analogy

22:18

because I think it's going to really

22:20

connect with like the audience. And one thing that you kind of brought up

22:21

was about taking a small impactful steps.

22:25

It's same in business, same in personal.

22:27

And I. People. So my best friend, her name is Brooke

22:28

Swan, and I'm just obsessed with her.

22:31

She's one of our coaches. So you'll probably meet her

22:32

in the guest expert session.

22:34

She's just an incredible human being. One thing that she always says to

22:36

everyone is that your business is

22:39

a connection of you as a human. So if your life is chaotic,

22:41

most likely your business is

22:44

going to be chaotic as well. But the more you can detach yourself

22:46

and let your business become its

22:49

own baby, the more It now no longer

22:49

has to run off the emotions of you.

22:53

And I always thought that

22:53

that really resonated with me.

22:55

Like every time she brings it up, I'm

22:55

always like, yeah, cause I have to

22:57

recognize that in so many different ways. But it's the same with like life.

23:01

Like if I need to work on myself

23:01

in order to grow my business.

23:05

And if I can't serve me, I'll

23:05

give you a great example.

23:07

I just hired a personal assistant. And I know I was talking about this

23:09

at our, our in person women's thing.

23:12

I was like, I'm so excited. She's just starting. She's been with me for like two weeks.

23:15

And that was to me, a very. It sounds like a selfish role, but in at

23:17

first it felt like that for myself because

23:21

she's not here to generate revenue. She's not here to serve my

23:23

clients, my students, or anyone.

23:26

She's genuinely here for me. So I was running through my own,

23:27

you know, imposter syndrome and

23:30

all the things that came up for me

23:30

and being like, I'm not worth it.

23:32

I'm not enough. You know how that goes. But anyways, it was like one

23:34

little tiny thing, but just

23:36

having the awareness and knowing. I can't do this alone anymore.

23:41

So I can really drive these things

23:41

forward is a beautiful moment.

23:45

And I think that that's where you started

23:45

with your point A is what it sounds like,

23:48

where it's really creating that awareness.

23:51

Yeah around what's happening and what do

23:51

you want and then from there the clarity

23:55

comes and then it's like Little things

23:55

you don't have to try to you know, build.

23:59

What does it build room in the day in a day? Is that what they say?

24:01

Yeah, well and it's and it's so true

24:01

and I think that's something like i'm

24:07

so deeply passionate about is like why

24:07

intentional living Is such a like high

24:12

vibrational thing to me Because I used to

24:12

think and I even think my younger self I

24:18

think of the woman before who was just in

24:18

college trying to figure her All of this

24:23

vessel and being in life out is, I think

24:23

sometimes it's like we think that we have

24:29

to do these massive, massive things in

24:29

a really, really short amount of time.

24:35

And it's not fair. It's not realistic to us as human

24:37

beings because life is so dynamic.

24:42

And I know Most of us are operating,

24:42

especially the business owners in

24:46

this space at a really full capacity.

24:49

So just give yourself the grace, create,

24:49

it's like, know what that dream is or

24:55

what that goal is, but give yourself

24:55

the permission to break it down.

24:58

I like geek out about it. I'm like, you've got your goal.

25:01

What needs to happen? In the year, what needs

25:03

to happen each quarter?

25:05

What needs to happen monthly? What needs to happen weekly?

25:08

What needs to happen daily? Like, what do you need to do to get there?

25:12

Because you want it there, but

25:12

like, make it work for you.

25:16

Yeah. I love that. And so for any of the listeners here,

25:17

cause I know that this is something

25:20

that they really struggle with

25:20

just like knowing and understanding

25:23

this industry is we're not known

25:23

to be a type of to be courageous.

25:28

Like in all actuality, this is a

25:28

matter of fact, IRS compliance, you

25:33

know, people who are Canadian, they

25:33

have their own compliance, like

25:36

everybody's got their own, we're very

25:36

much like data, data, data, give me

25:39

answers, black and white, that's it. And so I think from a lot of people

25:41

here who really struggle with how do I

25:46

actually step into, it's okay if the path.

25:50

Kind of veers off

25:50

because we like strategy.

25:52

We like plans. We like structure. If this was you and you were talking

25:54

to that person right now and having

25:56

that conversation, they said,

25:56

I'm really struggling with how to

25:59

own being courageous and taking

25:59

that step and doing these things.

26:03

What would you say to them? Oh, I love that question.

26:06

I mean, immediately I go back to what I

26:07

just shared the questions of creating a

26:11

heart centered foundation, like be aware

26:11

of these things that move your soul.

26:17

The like, follow up to that. And the next thing that I would like

26:19

say to her is how do we start to, so I'm

26:27

going to, I'm going to like break it down. So what I would honestly do,

26:29

let's check in with where you're

26:32

at in your life right now. Just a brain dump.

26:35

First thought, best thought,

26:35

anything that is present, where

26:38

are you at in your life right now? From that point, what I would then

26:39

do is have her look at what in your

26:45

life that is present and lived out. What is expansive?

26:48

So like, what is filling up your cup? What is making your heart sing?

26:51

Like what is inspiring you? And then what is exhaustive

26:53

or like depleting?

26:56

So what is taking away? Like, what are these things that

26:58

are just taking time and energy and

27:01

pulling you away from your truth? From there, in addition to knowing

27:03

the heart centered foundation.

27:07

So answering the questions,

27:07

value, love, joy, all of that.

27:10

Then looking at it of like, how

27:10

can you start to simultaneously?

27:15

Because I believe that two things need

27:15

each other to form a whole yin and

27:19

yang day and night light and dark. Just as we start to bring in more

27:22

of what we want in our life, we have

27:25

to simultaneously rid ourselves of

27:25

stuff that is no longer supporting us.

27:29

Yes. No, from that list.

27:32

And that awareness, how

27:32

can you start to release?

27:36

Things in your life that are no

27:36

longer supporting your ultimate

27:41

quote unquote heart centered

27:41

foundation or success or goal.

27:45

And then how do you like not just

27:45

create the awareness around it, but then

27:49

how do you create an actionable plan?

27:52

What are you going to start doing today? You're going to start doing next week.

27:56

What are you going to have done by this

27:56

next month so that every day you're

28:01

chucking away very smallly at this thing

28:01

so that when you have this conversation 30

28:06

days later, it is remarkable how quickly

28:06

we start to remove stuff out of our lives

28:13

that don't support us once we realize it.

28:16

Simultaneously, we do the same thing.

28:18

Like if you realize, I just, I geek

28:18

out about this whole thing because it's

28:23

like, every time I do it, I'm reconnected

28:23

back to my why, like I'm reconnected

28:27

back to my definition of success. Like I do this for myself every single

28:29

quarter in my life, just to make

28:34

sure that like my boat is rocking

28:34

in the way that is most effective.

28:39

Um, So it's like, if you discover

28:39

through this, that like, you

28:42

absolutely value like family

28:42

dinners, I'm just using this example.

28:47

Like you value family dinners at the

28:47

table where like, it's really intentional

28:52

conversations, but yet you've realized

28:52

in your life that like that dinner,

28:58

like everyone's eating fast food or just

28:58

picking something out of the fridge.

29:01

And like, no one's sitting

29:01

down and having a conversation.

29:04

It's like simultaneously, what

29:04

you're going to release is like.

29:08

The unhealthy foods in your house,

29:08

the like accessibility to fast foods,

29:13

but then what you're going to start

29:13

implementing our family dinners, a meal

29:17

time, having a family meal calendar.

29:21

So like create, don't just create the

29:21

awareness, but like the bridge, the

29:25

gap between where we're at in our dream

29:25

life and where we want to go is action.

29:31

So the more that you can get yourself into

29:31

a place of action, the more attainable.

29:38

You're going to be in this dream life

29:38

is going to be, and then you'll be

29:42

like your client who two years later

29:42

is living her definition of success.

29:46

Yeah. And it's so funny because one big

29:46

goal that a lot of people have,

29:49

like, especially in our big program. So breakthrough, the whole intention

29:51

of the program is to be what we love

29:55

to say, work optional or removable CEO.

29:57

So to be at a point in the business

29:57

where you're not in the weeds.

30:00

Right. And one thing I sometimes encourage

30:00

and I'm like, this is ballsy, but do

30:03

it anyways, because I promise you won't

30:03

regret it is like book a vacation.

30:07

Like six months from now, just

30:07

three days, like in the three

30:10

days cannot be the weekend. I have very strict rules about this.

30:13

It can not be the weekend. That's cheating. Cause two of those days

30:14

are on the weekend. We're talking like three days in the

30:16

middle of the week, like intentional time

30:21

that you will not touch your computer,

30:21

whether it's going somewhere, you just

30:24

stay home, whatever that looks like. And this just made me think of the

30:26

connection of what you were just

30:28

talking about, because in order to get

30:28

there, if I know that in six months.

30:32

I've got a three day vacation and

30:32

I'm strapped to my computer for 20

30:35

percent I got payroll for clients. I've got this and I've got that.

30:38

You bet your sweet ass for six

30:38

months, I am going to work so hard

30:43

to make sure to have all the SOPs,

30:43

the right system, because I'm

30:46

anticipating that's my end goal.

30:49

So like you said, it's like,

30:49

it's like the current Z.

30:51

So if the current Z is like, I want to

30:51

have three days off, fully unplugged,

30:55

never have to touch my computer. I'm like, okay. Then what do we do have to do at point A?

30:59

So let's work backwards. So it's the backwards, the domino effect.

31:01

Like once you do one thing,

31:01

it all kind of ripples.

31:04

It's let's get the SOP, let's

31:04

hire the team, let's do this

31:07

or whatever that looks like. And so I really liked that.

31:10

I always like to reconnect for like the

31:10

people who are like me who are like the

31:13

business people, but at the same time,

31:13

it all goes back to you as an individual.

31:18

And I'll just share this with

31:18

you, but I got back from Austin.

31:22

I went for an event out there with one

31:22

of my coaches from my other company.

31:25

And it was literally, like, I

31:25

almost, like, pulled out of going

31:29

because I just was so tired. I had told you guys I had been traveling

31:30

a lot, I'm just, like, exhausted.

31:33

And I just, like, have had so much

31:33

business strategy, I'm like, I don't want

31:36

strategy, I just want to, like, chill out. I went to this event and it was the

31:38

most transformational thing because she

31:41

brought in these, like, amazing people.

31:44

I'm sitting there ready with my notebook

31:44

talking about strategy, like, some

31:46

things I wanted to kind of cover. Even though I'm resisting it, I'm like,

31:48

I'm going to do it since I'm here, right?

31:51

She was like, okay, today we're doing breathwork. We're breathwork.

31:54

We're going to bring this guy,

31:54

his name was Samson in to help

31:57

you reconnect to your inner self.

32:00

I've actually never done

32:00

breathwork like what they did.

32:03

I swear to you, I was like under, I don't

32:03

even know if that's the right word to

32:05

use, but like under for like two hours. And as soon as I felt like my body was

32:08

just like, in a peaceful state when

32:13

you're doing like the breath work. I lost it as far as

32:14

like cried my heart out.

32:18

I like experienced things

32:18

about like my old self.

32:21

I literally thought I was going to like things that were going to come up or business stuff because

32:23

I have been, you know, everybody's

32:26

stressed about their business. It's just as your business grows,

32:27

it's just different forms of it.

32:30

And I just remember getting up from

32:30

that and just being like I have so

32:33

much more clarity like and had nothing,

32:33

nothing to do with the business.

32:38

It all had to go back to you. A trigger moment when my brother, this

32:40

is like so TMI, but in such a good way.

32:44

My brother passed away from

32:44

cancer when I was 15, he was 16.

32:47

And my mom, the moment that came up

32:47

to me during that somatic breathwork

32:50

session was the moment my mom called

32:50

me on the phone and I'm a five kids.

32:55

And she called and said, I need

32:55

you to put on a brave face.

32:58

And I need you to get everybody together

32:58

and today's the day for your brother.

33:03

And I didn't realize how much her

33:03

asking me to be brave in that moment,

33:07

just like to be there, actually messed

33:07

with me for the rest of my life.

33:12

I'm getting chills just because like this just happened like a week ago. Yeah, it's just so crazy because I

33:14

know so many people that I've even

33:18

shared that story with since the

33:18

week of just being back from Austin.

33:21

The reason I want to share that is

33:21

because if I didn't do the internal

33:25

work, even though I went thinking it's

33:25

about business, which every time anybody

33:29

listens to this, Alyssa, give me strategy. I bet you the most transformational things

33:32

you can do are the things that are inside

33:35

and just having the awareness that I

33:35

really struggle with, asking people for

33:40

help because I was told, be brave, do it.

33:43

You have to be strong. You have to stand up.

33:46

You have to be the one to lead everyone. Do not cry.

33:49

I took that to heart. So I don't ask for help.

33:52

I have a hard time. I don't do these things.

33:54

I don't get support. Having that realization, the awareness,

33:55

my point a, that there's a problem here.

34:00

I now can do some work to say,

34:00

wow, this really makes sense.

34:04

Why in my business? It was so hard for me to hire

34:06

a personal assistant because I

34:09

didn't want to burden someone else. Cause I had to be brave

34:10

to take on that capacity.

34:13

And, And it just was such a, it was

34:13

a beautiful, very beautiful moment.

34:17

So I share that with you because I

34:17

think that what you're doing is more

34:21

impactful than you, you probably already

34:21

recognize it, but probably more than,

34:25

you know, this little moment with that

34:25

man and that experience that my coach.

34:30

Put together for us will probably like

34:30

save me for quite some time in my life or

34:35

like where I need to go with direction. I mean, I just, I feel you on so

34:38

many levels and got chills as well,

34:42

because what you just shared is a

34:42

testament to the power of personal

34:47

development, personal growth, self work,

34:47

whatever title you want to title it.

34:53

It's like so many times when we're like,

34:53

It's like, Oh, well, that's not for me.

34:58

Oh, well, I just need to focus on my business. I just need the right funnel strategy.

35:03

I just need the right tagline.

35:05

I just, it's like, we think that we need

35:05

this really specific thing, but the truth

35:09

is what we most of the time need is to

35:09

get out of our own way, but we didn't

35:13

know we were in our own way because we

35:13

hadn't done the work to like, realize

35:18

that, and it's so important that we

35:18

date ourselves, that we really commit

35:24

to working through these emotions, these

35:24

physical feelings, these like things

35:31

that come up that we think are just

35:31

business related, but are so much deeper.

35:36

And as we move through

35:36

them, not only do we grow.

35:41

Not only do we expand, but

35:41

so to then does our business.

35:46

I'm reading a book right now. I think you would really enjoy it.

35:48

It's called the code of the

35:48

extraordinary mind, the author's vision.

35:53

I don't remember his last name. And it is so remarkable.

35:56

He's like, A genius.

35:58

He's the founder of a company called

35:58

Mindvalley, and it's all accessibility to

36:04

personal growth and personal development,

36:04

but like, he's like on Richard Branson's

36:08

private island and like, you know,

36:08

he's like in, in deep with these

36:13

like big guys, and he shares a lot.

36:15

So many stories in there of

36:15

like people going to Richard

36:19

Branson's house and wanting to

36:19

like have business conversations.

36:23

And he's over here being like,

36:23

let's dance on the table.

36:26

Like, let's go sit in the jacuzzi.

36:29

Let's go under the palm tree. Because it's like, What we really need a

36:30

lot of times is to just allow ourselves

36:36

to have fun, to allow ourselves to date

36:36

ourselves, to allow ourselves to remember

36:41

what it's like to do these things that

36:41

like we really enjoy and fill up our cup

36:45

and like whatever that thing is for you.

36:48

And so I just, I'm being called

36:48

one, the book's remarkable.

36:52

I feel like your community would

36:52

really enjoy it too, though.

36:55

I think what you just shared

36:55

was like, And it all circles

36:59

back to where this conversation

36:59

started of taking that first step.

37:04

Like you didn't want to go to that

37:04

conference, something still told

37:08

you, even in the exhaust show up. So it's like you right there made

37:09

a conscious choice to listen to

37:15

whatever that thing was that was

37:15

stirring in you that said to show up.

37:18

And then look at how quickly in a

37:18

week your life has already transformed

37:22

because you took that one step to step a.

37:25

Yeah. So the invitation is if there's any

37:26

time that you get that nudge, that

37:31

you feel that calling that you're

37:31

gravitating towards that thing, do

37:36

yourself the honor and trust yourself

37:36

to just go into that curiosity.

37:42

You're not going to know step

37:42

Z by step A, but you'll damn

37:46

well be way closer to step Z.

37:49

If you take step A. Yeah.

37:51

If someone would have told me a part

37:51

of my path was to like, do this at

37:54

this retreat one, as soon as she was

37:54

like, we're going to do breath work.

37:57

I was like, no, I'm not. I'm not doing it.

38:01

I'm stuck in Austin. So I'm doing it. But like, I will lean into things.

38:04

Cause I'll always try everything I've done

38:04

breath work before, but nothing like that.

38:08

That was just like very much expansive.

38:11

But yeah. I always tell people like I've avoided,

38:11

I can't tell you for how long, my issues,

38:16

my things, the things that I knew I

38:16

needed to work on, but I swear every

38:18

time I've uncovered like one extra layer,

38:18

it's allowed me to be a better leader.

38:22

It's allowed me to be a better supporter. Also, it's so funny because me and

38:24

you talked, I believe before I went

38:27

to Austin, And in my brain, I was

38:27

like, Oh, it'd be cool if we kind

38:31

of like did the podcast before. And I think that the universe also set

38:32

up our conversation very strategically.

38:37

Also for myself in some weird, odd way.

38:40

And it was just so, yeah,

38:40

it's just, it was crazy.

38:42

And like the whole session was just

38:42

transformational and just, Just

38:48

the whole message I want to say to

38:48

anybody, and I know that you're saying

38:50

this loud and clear is you have to

38:50

pour into your own cup or you cannot

38:55

overfill to serve your clients.

38:57

Like you running payroll every single

38:57

Monday and having to always be there

39:03

and like literally like just drowning

39:03

yourself in like 60 hours, which

39:06

a lot of my listeners are in that,

39:06

space, it's not doing you any good.

39:11

Yes, you've got clients that are pre

39:11

obligations, but the worst that you can

39:14

do is say, I can't deliver on my service.

39:17

Like, I want to be really honest with you. I'm struggling because I bet you that

39:18

other business owner who's listening

39:21

to it, who heard you say, I'm really

39:21

struggling right now might say, man,

39:24

do I get what you're going through? It's chill.

39:26

Like I don't need you to do the cleanup right away. And I think that that just, you know,

39:29

Is here to remind people that like

39:32

if you guys have a story Or you need

39:32

the space to just say how you feel or

39:37

that you've been neglecting yourself

39:37

One y'all know how to get ahold of me.

39:42

But also that's what ashley's

39:42

for That's what this this

39:45

support is and i'm so grateful. I brought you on here to have

39:46

these conversations because like I

39:50

can't help everyone and everything. This is why I bring experts.

39:54

Like, you know what I mean,

39:54

bring them into your world.

39:57

Yeah. Well, and what I just, like,

39:57

heard and I, I, I sound very, very

40:02

hippie when I say this, but, like,

40:02

in community, we find belonging.

40:07

It's shared experiences and connection.

40:10

Like we feel seen and heard and

40:10

what that does for ourselves and

40:14

ultimately our lives is transformative.

40:17

So like us literally just first

40:17

being honest with ourselves, but

40:21

then being honest with the outside

40:21

world, it takes down that barrier.

40:26

It takes down that wall and it

40:26

brings us back into this human

40:30

experience and connection that I know

40:30

regardless of what industry you're in.

40:36

Every single human being is wired

40:36

for connection and belonging.

40:41

It's like why Brene Brown is who she

40:41

is and does the work that she does

40:45

is because she's literally spent

40:45

her life studying belonging because

40:50

every single one of us want it.

40:52

So it's like, No, even though

40:52

entrepreneurship can feel

40:56

lonely, you are not alone. And that is why programs

40:58

like yours are so remarkable.

41:01

It's why podcasts are amazing

41:01

because you can at least like sit

41:04

in a room with someone without

41:04

having to sit in the room with them.

41:07

So yeah. Yeah. I love that.

41:10

I just think this is a great, like I said,

41:10

I don't know what it was, the universe,

41:13

like somehow told you to wait to book it. And then that's perfect because

41:15

it worked out for me and you.

41:18

So. And also, like, I actually have an episode

41:18

that's probably going to air before this

41:21

one does that's actually sharing, I did

41:21

a, through that session, which was still

41:25

very transformational at the very end, she

41:25

had us do writing a eulogy to ourselves.

41:30

you don't know what that is, because if

41:30

you're like me, I forgot what that was.

41:34

A eulogy is essentially like if you

41:34

were talking at your own funeral

41:37

to yourself or to someone else. So we did like a.

41:41

You know, thank you for serving me

41:41

at the capacity that you did, but you

41:44

no longer serve me, you're no longer

41:44

here, you're, you know, all that stuff.

41:48

Then what she did, one, I did not

41:48

know this, if she would have told

41:50

us that we were going to read it in front of everybody, I probably would have written it different.

41:53

So I'm really grateful that she didn't

41:53

because I feel like I was way more

41:56

real and raw because I, I didn't know

41:56

that people were going to read it.

42:00

She had us say it. And there was only three of

42:01

us at the retreat, the women

42:03

that were like participating. So it was a very intimate thing.

42:06

cried all day. We were all just like, I

42:07

was exhausted like that day.

42:10

And so we read our eulogy. And then after she said, okay,

42:11

I want you to write talking to

42:13

your future self of who you are. And it was so beautiful.

42:16

So like, I plan to have an episode where

42:16

I'm actually going to share my Eulogy,

42:21

which is so like raw and so deep and

42:21

also share the outcome of what I said

42:27

now I'm gonna be like who I'm gonna be

42:27

here and you talked about this several

42:30

times about your future self and I think

42:30

it is so key to work on like Your future

42:37

self because whatever you've said in

42:37

your mind or someone else told you or

42:40

your parents told you or well My parents

42:40

always were really strict of money.

42:43

So that's how I am. Like It's all BS, like you don't

42:44

have to be what you were yesterday.

42:49

And I think that that's what your message is here. And I love that so much.

42:52

I mean, I, yeah, I, I couldn't resonate

42:52

with you any more than what you're saying.

42:59

And I think that it just, I'm

42:59

like vividly thinking of one of my

43:08

clients that I was working with. And there was a point when we first

43:10

started, she's like, well, I need

43:12

to know what to do with my business. And I need to know what type

43:14

of programs I'm going to do.

43:16

And I need to know, and I need to know,

43:16

how am I going to actually do all this?

43:20

And then we entertain that for

43:20

like the first three sessions.

43:23

And there was a point where I just

43:23

looked at her and I said her name and

43:27

I was like, what do you really want?

43:30

Like when no one is looking, when you

43:30

are sitting in your room, when you're

43:36

journaling, when you're singing naked

43:36

in front of the mirror, whatever that

43:39

thing is that is so you that the rest

43:39

of the world doesn't know about what,

43:44

what does your heart really want? And she kind of looked at

43:46

me with like such big eyes.

43:49

And she goes, but it's not what

43:49

society wants or expects of me.

43:53

And I'm like, but that is

43:53

like that's the problem.

43:57

That is the problem is so many of

43:57

us live our lives based on what we

44:02

think we should be doing and what we

44:02

are supposed to do and what we think

44:06

our parents want of us to do and what

44:06

we think our partner loves us for.

44:11

When in reality. If we just slowed down and listened

44:12

to what our heart is really

44:17

wanting and asking, how much more

44:17

aligned and dream fulfilled and

44:23

dynamic each of our lives will be.

44:26

Like, so give yourself, I love

44:26

that you're going to share this

44:31

because that's going to open up. It's the, like, that will open up the

44:32

vessel for someone else to acknowledge

44:37

that part of them and then be that

44:37

much more vulnerable out in the world.

44:42

So if I could like sum up what we have

44:42

like talked about today, you have.

44:51

And I'm talking to every single

44:51

person listening right now.

44:53

You have everything that you need

44:53

and you to move through this life and

44:58

you're like highest, most aligned,

44:58

intentional, vibrant expression

45:04

of whatever that looks like. The truth is, is we are carrying heavy

45:06

backpacks and wearing so many layers.

45:11

And as we do this work, As we like

45:11

love on ourselves, as we go to these

45:17

conferences, as we join these like

45:17

programs, as we do these things, it's

45:21

like a layer is shed a rock's taken

45:21

out of the backpack, a layer shed and

45:27

a rock is taken out of the backpack. And as you do that, you start to tap into

45:28

these things that were innately in you are

45:35

so remarkable and that are so inspiring.

45:39

And that only you possess.

45:42

Like a truly only you have

45:42

the exact gifts within you.

45:46

We all have commonalities. We all have similarities, but like

45:48

you are the only, you just like,

45:51

there's no, you know, there's no

45:51

two fingerprints that are the same.

45:55

Yeah. You know, like we are like

45:56

that in this human experience.

45:59

So just love on yourself, give

45:59

yourself the grace and space.

46:06

And know that like, you're capable

46:09

of anything, anything.

46:11

Yeah. I love that. Words of encouragement.

46:14

I'm just gonna re listen

46:14

to that every day.

46:17

Have my, my daily wake up with Ashley.

46:20

Your alarm clocks. It's gonna be my alarm clock.

46:23

I need to like, Don't

46:23

even think about that.

46:26

That'd be actually really fun here. It's like, yes, the passion.

46:29

I'm all like waking up like Tony Robbins,

46:29

just like so excited for everything.

46:33

I love that. I think this is so perfect conversation.

46:37

I think right now it's heavy. It's an election year.

46:40

Our industry, our clients, a lot

46:40

of people in general are just like,

46:44

everything feels so weighted and so heavy. So I really love this conversation.

46:47

And so I would love for people to continue

46:47

it with you and get immersed in your

46:51

world with whatever you got going on. I know you've got some

46:52

special stuff coming up.

46:54

So I'm going to just give you a

46:54

moment to just let everyone know.

46:57

How can they connect with you, get into

46:57

your world, learn all the things, Ashley?

47:00

Thank you. Something fun that's happening right

47:01

now is I'm writing my first book.

47:04

So I literally. Just last week got the like

47:05

design of the cover this morning.

47:09

I submitted to my top publishers. So that is coming underway and happening

47:11

right now before that comes out into

47:16

the world, cause it's going to be a

47:16

bit because publishing takes a very, it

47:19

takes much longer than I ever understood.

47:23

two of the best ways to

47:23

connect are actually three.

47:25

One, I've got a podcast living

47:25

in intentional life podcast.

47:29

It's on all places you find your podcast. The second thing is I'm an Instagram girl.

47:34

I love Instagram. So you can find me at Ashley

47:36

strong Smith underscore.

47:39

I share all kinds of

47:39

inspiration, motivation.

47:43

I also geek out because I'm in

47:43

nature and live in the mountains

47:46

and I'm obsessed with it. So that's always in my feed.

47:49

And the third thing though, that

47:49

I actually wanted to share is

47:52

what I just shared about creating

47:52

a heart centered foundation.

47:55

Is I've got a free workbook, so I'm sure

47:55

you can link that in the show notes.

47:59

But anyone who wants to walk

47:59

through that exercise themselves,

48:03

I literally have created an 18 page

48:03

workbook that you can self guide

48:07

yourself to really find that clarity.

48:10

And I'm always like, do this monthly,

48:10

do this quarterly, at least do it

48:14

twice a year, because it's remarkable

48:14

how having a tool like this can really

48:19

bring you back to your center and equilibrium.

48:22

I love it. Well, thank you so much

48:22

for being here today. This is. So amazing.

48:25

And I can't wait for the whole world to hear it. And thank you so much

48:27

for being here today. Thank you.

48:29

I'm so grateful.