0:01

Like, we're gonna push your head right down there and

0:03

make you watch. Correct. Yeah. Absolutely.

0:05

Like, definitely like that he's dominant. And roughly

0:08

speaking. And if you make a single noise, we're gonna

0:10

smack you up a little bit. Correct. Yeah. Definitely

0:12

have a slap or a hit. He infuses his

0:14

belt on me to hit me with me with me.

0:17

Get ready. This is

0:19

consenting adults. The conversations

0:21

you're about to hear are intended

0:23

for mature audiences. If adult

0:25

themes are offensive to you, well,

0:28

you might want to pull out now. So dirty talk,

0:30

so sex talk. Yeah. It it started off as dirty

0:32

talk. I was actually like,

0:34

very excited to

0:36

see my partner with somebody else. She

0:38

looked at me and said, so you wanna have sex with

0:40

other people? That's what you're saying. And

0:43

you'll find it to turn on to hear about what

0:45

he did. Yeah. And then it's like, I

0:47

wanna come home and get it the way she

0:49

got it. Does he know you have boyfriend. Oh, yes.

0:51

This is he's consenting adults

0:54

with lina Wynn. My guest today

0:56

is fifty two year old Danny from Philadelphia.

0:59

He is in college sports administration.

1:02

He is divorced. He married

1:04

his college sweetheart.

1:06

And they were together almost twenty years

1:09

married for eight. No children,

1:11

but Danny tells me that there is

1:13

no question that

1:15

sex and intimacy was

1:18

the cause of their divorce. Dani,

1:21

welcome to the show. Thanks for joining me and sharing

1:23

your story. What does that mean?

1:25

It was the cause of your divorce? What was

1:27

the issue? I just think

1:30

that we had different needs.

1:32

And I definitely lacked the ability

1:34

or maturity maybe to express

1:36

myself and maybe she did as well. So

1:39

we just weren't there for each other sexually.

1:41

Was it not enjoyable for either of you?

1:44

I mean, I think it was, and I think

1:47

it was for her as well. I just think I

1:49

was still learning a little bit about myself. I think

1:51

some of my tendencies and

1:54

desires came out and maybe it wasn't for her.

1:56

And what were some of those tendencies? Can you tell

1:58

us Well, I would like to role play, like, another

2:00

guy, like, that she was with another

2:02

guy. And Oh, or,

2:05

like, so we would talk about that and she would get into

2:07

it or, like, another guy joining us. And I

2:09

really wasn't aware of cockroading

2:11

at that time, but it just

2:13

was a kind of natural fantasy of

2:15

mine. Did it ever go

2:18

further than just role playing

2:20

in the bedroom? It did not. No.

2:22

It was this role play and talk.

2:24

Did you want it to go further? And and she didn't?

2:26

Or what was the issue there? Again,

2:29

I think we just we're just not communicating probably

2:31

well enough. Yeah. I did. In my mind,

2:33

I just maybe never brought it up to

2:35

her. I wish I could. Mhmm. But,

2:38

yeah, definitely was something that was a huge

2:41

turn on for me. How long has it been

2:43

since your divorce? It's been

2:45

a while. It's been over ten years. Oh.

2:48

And in those ten years, were

2:50

you ever able to get

2:52

into a relationship where you could

2:54

live out these fantasies? I

2:56

have it. I've had a few girlfriends, a couple that

2:58

were serious, and it

3:01

was pretty similar in that they weren't

3:05

monologous with me. Like, yeah, they had

3:07

other men in their lives, and

3:09

they knew that that was a turn on for me.

3:12

So that's yeah. Like, I knew

3:14

that they had other boyfriends and they

3:16

knew that that was exciting for me.

3:19

Okay. But you never

3:22

took part. So they, like, would play separately.

3:24

Right. They like, they one in particular

3:26

would tell me. That, you know, that she

3:28

had been with him or was

3:31

going to see him or whatever.

3:33

But I was never included. No. I was

3:35

not able to watch or be a

3:37

part Okay. Now did you want to?

3:39

Did you want to be more of a okay. Now

3:41

what and how come that didn't happen? Did

3:43

you talk about it? Yeah.

3:47

I'm not sure. Again, I think probably just

3:49

my lack of knowledge

3:52

or confidence or, like, just

3:54

sexual maturity to have these conversations

3:57

Like, I definitely think, like,

3:59

even just this podcast and what you do. Like,

4:01

it's definitely very helpful for me

4:04

to be more confident in understanding that

4:06

I need I need to have these conversations the

4:09

next time, you know. So Mhmm.

4:12

And I'm I'm interested in knowing

4:14

why because you talk about

4:17

cock holding and you you talk about it now,

4:19

you know, since since you've heard more about

4:21

it. Mhmm. That's kind of what you associate

4:23

with. There

4:26

are other dynamics

4:28

within the lifestyle where you can still be turned

4:30

on watching your wife with another man without

4:32

being a cuckold. So, like, do you

4:35

realize or recognize the differences and

4:37

and what makes you lean towards cut

4:39

holding? I think the desire

4:41

to be humiliated is a

4:43

big turn on for me. So,

4:46

you know, being being

4:49

denied or being forced to watch

4:51

or being humiliated by

4:53

her and her boyfriend is

4:55

a huge interest of mine. Mhmm.

4:57

So I think that makes me

5:00

more of a cuck hold than say Right.

5:02

You know, someone who just enjoys watching?

5:05

Sure. And and when you say you

5:07

have this desire to be humiliated by them,

5:09

can you tell me specifically, like, what

5:11

would really what would do it for you?

5:14

Definitely being talked down to being called

5:16

names. I

5:19

have this kind of fantasy of

5:21

the boyfriend like

5:24

slapping me or like hitting

5:27

me. You know, in front of her just to

5:29

exert his dominance and

5:31

to show that he is the man and,

5:34

like, I have to be a cuckold for him.

5:36

And for her. So that's kinda like my

5:39

biggest fantasy or biggest desire.

5:41

Mhmm. And is is there any

5:43

desire in your part to have

5:45

any kind of interaction with the man, with the

5:47

male? Yes, there is. Like,

5:50

I Like, what would you like

5:52

to do? I would like to like,

5:54

if he made me, like, kneel for him and

5:56

service his cock, my

5:59

mouth, like, you know, suck his dick. And

6:02

Yeah. Definitely. Is that big interest of mine?

6:06

And have you ever before

6:09

kind of identified as bisexual? Or

6:11

do you now? I think I have

6:13

to be aware of that. I definitely

6:15

have bisexual tendencies,

6:18

but I definitely I'm

6:20

attracted to women. You know,

6:22

I don't necessarily feel attracted to

6:24

men, but I definitely in those roles,

6:26

or in a certain situation, I definitely

6:29

feel sexually, you

6:32

know, want to be trained on Yeah.

6:34

Absolutely. Right. So, but does the

6:36

woman have to be there? Or

6:38

can you see yourself getting aroused without

6:40

a woman there? No.

6:42

In all my thoughts, the woman's always

6:44

there. Mhmm. Okay.

6:49

When you say that you you feel like you were

6:51

just kind of sexually immature throughout

6:53

your marriage, Are you

6:55

just talking about, like, the lack

6:57

of communication? Like,

6:59

not being able to really express yourself

7:02

and and go after what you want? Or

7:04

is there anything else? Well, I mean, the communication,

7:06

but also you're just learning. Like, you know, I

7:08

didn't maybe I didn't understand what these feelings

7:10

were. You know, like I said, I wasn't

7:12

aware of calling at the time. Mhmm.

7:15

It was really just my pure instincts,

7:18

things that I was thinking of. Like, so

7:21

you know, so I I like that knowledge. I

7:23

like that reading about it and learning

7:25

about it. Like, I think that would have been a really

7:27

big help. Yeah. And

7:30

so now it's been ten years since you divorced.

7:32

You've had some girlfriends in that

7:34

time. What

7:36

is your experience with

7:38

Like, trying to find someone who

7:41

you can be attached

7:43

to, meaning like a serious relationship

7:45

and still do these things right,

7:48

that that involve other people. Has

7:50

it been difficult? Yeah,

7:52

it is. I mean, it's hard with

7:54

my work and everything. I haven't been

7:56

fortunate to find somebody that I can

7:58

have AAA permanent relationship with, I

8:00

hope. So I definitely want that, and I

8:02

definitely want her

8:04

to know all this. You know, I definitely

8:07

want her to be aware, and I hope that

8:09

she is interested as well. And it

8:11

definitely is a big part of my sexual

8:14

needs. No question. Mhmm.

8:16

So I that's what I'm hopeful for. III

8:18

definitely the next time I want to be

8:20

fully communicating with what I am

8:22

looking for. Mhmm. And,

8:26

like, have you been looking for someone?

8:28

Like, within the lives you know how a lot of

8:30

people in the lifestyle either go on a website

8:32

or or or whatever. Have you

8:34

been actively looking for a relationship on

8:36

these lifestyle websites? I have it.

8:38

And I I'm hoping to learn more about how

8:40

to do that. I don't know really

8:43

where to start, to be honest with you. I'm

8:45

still kinda figuring

8:47

all that out. But yeah. Mhmm.

8:49

So through your community, maybe I can meet

8:51

somebody who'd give me some guidance? Or

8:53

Yeah. That's great. But are you Are you

8:55

on any of these lifestyle websites? No. I'm

8:57

not. Oh. Damn. I'm

9:00

sorry. I'm really just I'm

9:02

saying I'm so excited because I'm really trying

9:04

to finally really broaden my

9:07

horizon here and just by being

9:09

honest and you

9:11

know, and being, you know, it's my really

9:13

resonate with what you're doing because I think it's very

9:16

honest and it's very ethical and -- Thank you. --

9:18

it definitely sits with kinda who what I'm all

9:20

about. So

9:22

our listeners can't see you. And when

9:24

this goes on YouTube, our viewers can't see

9:26

you. But like, you're

9:28

you're a handsome man. You actually look

9:31

younger than than fifty two. Okay.

9:33

Thank you. You've you've got a great

9:35

career. And I

9:37

think that the more

9:39

you delve into the

9:41

different avenues people are using to

9:44

meet others within the lifestyle,

9:46

Mhmm. That on the surface,

9:49

it may seem like, oh, they're just hooking up,

9:51

but the more people I talk

9:53

to, the more I see is just dating within

9:55

the lifestyle. Like like

9:57

there are people who meet their

9:59

wives and husbands at a

10:01

lifestyle event, you know,

10:03

that you can still form these

10:05

very committed relationships

10:08

within the lifestyle and started

10:10

off that way. That's awesome.

10:12

We're, you know, you don't have to like, meet

10:14

the vanilla way and then worry about, well,

10:16

you know, how am I going to eventually

10:19

tell her that I've got some of this kinks

10:21

stuff going on. You know? Because that's

10:24

that can be very difficult. So

10:27

I'm assuming, like,

10:29

no one really knows. Like, you don't really

10:31

have friends who know. Right?

10:34

No. I have one friend. He's

10:36

married with children who I've kinda

10:39

like I told him, I was doing this podcast

10:41

with you. So,

10:43

really, that's about that's about it. I have

10:45

played with some women online

10:47

that actually I I actually,

10:50

like, would pay for humiliation Oh,

10:53

I've I've done some of that. Hold

10:55

on. Okay,

11:00

Danny. What are you paying

11:02

for? Tell me about this. What are you doing? I would

11:04

pay just for like a phone call

11:06

and she would just act like she's my

11:08

girlfriend, but she's going out with a

11:10

bowl. She's going out with another man, and she's

11:12

kinda rubbing it in my face like what she's

11:14

wearing for him. How she's

11:16

getting dressed for him, what they're

11:18

gonna do together, how I'm not good enough

11:20

-- Mhmm. -- you know, making making

11:22

fun of my my dick's

11:24

eyes and talking about his deck,

11:26

help -- Yeah. -- making me

11:28

making me safe things.

11:30

You know? It's And you're

11:32

finding these women online? Yeah.

11:35

I I found a couple. Mhmm.

11:37

Uh-huh. And this

11:39

is so interesting to me. Can I ask

11:41

you, like, Do

11:43

these women do this professionally? No. They're

11:46

no. They're really amazing people.

11:48

You know, they're married or they're

11:50

working, like, they're really They're really

11:52

cool women. And it's

11:54

amazing, like, how interested

11:56

they are in it as well. And they're they get

11:58

they get turned on. They get excited by

12:00

it. And -- Mhmm. --

12:02

so it's mutually, you

12:05

know, it's mutually And if it's mutually Yeah. Yeah. They're

12:07

no. They're really really amazing good people. No.

12:09

They're not professionals at all. They're just everyday

12:11

people. So you're

12:13

meeting them online. You're striking up a conversation.

12:17

And how does it get to the

12:19

Can I pay you to humiliate me?

12:22

Yeah. I I usually just come right out and

12:24

I say, this is interested in, if

12:26

you're interested, and they usually get like, whoa.

12:28

What are you talking about? You know? And

12:30

they and they get excited by it. Like,

12:32

that sounds fun. Let's do it. I'm I'm

12:34

open. And Now how do you wanna

12:36

do it? And I'll just say, you know, are you willing to

12:38

call me? And, you know, then we

12:40

usually agree on our price. And things like that. And

12:42

then we talk, like, it's usually a nice

12:45

conversation, and then we start to, like Oh, oh,

12:47

and it it's nice until until

12:49

it starts. It's nice until it

12:51

starts. How do it

12:53

starts? Can I ask you, like, how much

12:55

you're paying these women? It's not much. It's

12:57

usually like a dollar a minute or something

12:59

like that. Couple dollars off. It's very

13:01

fair. Yeah. Yeah. It felt very,

13:04

very interesting. Alright. So

13:06

I guess our objective,

13:08

Danny, is to, like, to subverse

13:11

you in this culture,

13:13

in this community.

13:16

Because it is very accepting, you know.

13:19

It's a lot easier to talk to

13:21

someone who already gets

13:23

it. Right. It may

13:25

and may not be their thing,

13:27

but who get that

13:29

people have their kinks. Right?

13:31

Right. Yeah. And so,

13:34

like describe to me your

13:36

dream woman, your dream

13:38

relationship. Let's

13:40

hear it. I mean, I I'm

13:42

definitely looking for a very

13:45

intimate partner. I mean, someone that can

13:47

be my best friend. You

13:49

know, I love spending time with someone, so

13:52

definitely someone I can spend a lot of time

13:54

with and that we can be

13:56

very open about this. You know, I

13:58

would love for her to have a bowl,

14:00

you know, or to

14:03

have boyfriends or whatever,

14:05

and I would definitely would be

14:07

supportive of that and encourage that.

14:09

I would love to be a part as much as she

14:11

would let me, like, whether it's watching

14:13

and fluffing

14:17

absolutely. Fluffing being a cleaner.

14:19

Yeah. Absolutely. That's

14:22

a huge turn on for May is to be her

14:24

clean up boy and for her

14:26

after him and -- Uh-huh.

14:28

-- fluffing and cleaning

14:30

up and you know, having a needle

14:32

the whole time or be tied up

14:34

while watching that like, definitely, like,

14:36

that humiliation of I

14:39

I like that physical part. Like I said,

14:41

that Kim being maybe rough with me.

14:43

Right? Like like she's watching and then he, like,

14:45

ties me up or whatever and forces me

14:47

to watch. Yeah. So

14:50

that's a huge that's my my my top

14:52

fantasy. Like,

14:55

Like, we're gonna push your head right down there and make you

14:57

watch. Correct. Yeah. Absolutely. I definitely like

14:59

that. He's dominant and roughly And if

15:01

you make a single noise, we're gonna smack you

15:03

up a little bit. Correct. Yeah, definitely

15:05

a slap or a hit. Even if he uses don't

15:07

want me to hit me with me with him.

15:11

Let's say, here, man. Yeah.

15:13

Dani's ready. Dani's ready.

15:16

So Okay.

15:19

Well, I love that you're

15:21

able to say, at least to

15:23

me, these are the things that I want.

15:25

These are the things that I like.

15:28

And I hope you know that

15:30

there are other people out

15:32

there who want

15:34

the same things and who

15:36

would be able to compliment you.

15:38

Right? Who can play the other roles? So

15:41

it's out there. It's just a matter

15:43

of finding your tribe. Like

15:46

getting to the right places. And

15:48

so I would like to

15:50

be able to give

15:53

out your social media handle

15:55

to our listeners. Because 130,

15:58

you you might meet some some people

16:00

who might take part And

16:02

two, believe

16:04

it or not, there are

16:06

people who they don't have to be

16:08

mentors, but who've already been there.

16:10

You know what I mean? Because I think support

16:13

is really important. Do

16:15

you sometimes feel like

16:17

because you can't tell anyone, because you've got

16:19

this great job, and especially because

16:21

of your job, if people

16:24

knew they might like, whoa. You

16:26

know what I mean? Yeah. It's

16:28

interesting. Because, you know, I work at a university. So

16:30

obviously, it's very conservative and --

16:32

Yes. -- you have to be careful.

16:34

Like, I don't I don't know if my

16:36

coworkers would necessarily have

16:38

a problem with it. It's just more just a, you know, you

16:40

know, it's just institutionally might

16:42

not be it'd be frowned upon you because there's

16:44

young people or there's college students and you have to

16:46

be a real model. So it's a

16:48

it's a tough line. Mhmm. Yeah.

16:50

I'm I'm definitely not ashamed of it.

16:52

You know what I mean? If somebody you know, I'm

16:54

not ashamed of like, you know, I have to be careful, like,

16:57

I don't share I haven't shared it, but at

16:59

the same time, like, I'm definitely not ashamed

17:01

at all. Mhmm. Okay.

17:03

Can you go with when was the last time you

17:05

had a date? It's been a

17:07

while. Where are we

17:09

now? It was twenty

17:11

twenty two. Yeah. It was

17:13

this year, but it was -- Yeah. --

17:15

it was it was it's been a it's been a

17:17

few months, definitely. Mhmm.

17:19

Okay. So your homework,

17:21

Danny. Okay. Alright. Is to get on

17:23

some of these sites that

17:26

are for for people to

17:28

lifestyle. Okay. Because

17:30

it's it's it's really I'm

17:32

finding out really just the same as

17:34

the normal dating sites, you know,

17:36

like, is it No.

17:39

Bumble and tender. I'm confused with

17:41

you. Right. But any, like, any other

17:43

dating website, except

17:46

that It's for the lifestyle. So, like, no

17:48

one's gonna bat an eyelash if you say, hey, I

17:50

would like to wear some lace panties and get

17:52

whooped. You know? I mean, you know, it's

17:55

It's very open. There are a lot of

17:57

people who are into a lot of

17:59

things. And I think

18:01

that that's where you start and And I hope

18:03

twenty twenty three brings you some

18:05

some love and some kink and

18:07

You know? No. I'm excited and I'm very

18:09

grateful to you for all that you do and

18:12

how this has definitely given me some excitement

18:16

to get serious about it, you know -- Yeah. --

18:18

to really get going. And you're

18:20

gonna like it. You're gonna like

18:22

it. Damn it. Definitely.

18:24

Definitely. Dani,

18:26

I really appreciate you coming on and talking to

18:28

me. And I hope so on listening will be able to reach out

18:30

to him and kinda help him

18:32

get his feet wet in

18:34

the lifestyle. If you'd like to get in

18:36

touch with Danny, he's not

18:38

active on social media, but you can email

18:41

him. It's dan earl

18:44

simmons sixteen at gmail

18:46

dot com. You can also find that

18:48

in the show description.

18:50

And thanks for listening.

18:52

We'll see you next

18:54

time on consenting adults.