0:01

Welcome to Criminalia, a production

0:03

of Shonda Land Audio in partnership

0:05

with I Heart Radio. Hello,

0:12

and welcome to the third season of Criminalia. This

0:15

season, we're exploring the lives and motivations

0:17

of some of the most notorious impostors

0:19

throughout history. I'm Maria tre Marquis

0:22

and I'm Holly Fry. Okay,

0:24

his full name was Imperative Nero

0:27

Claudius Divy Claudius Philius

0:29

Caesar Augustus Germanicus. But

0:31

we're actually talking about the impostor

0:34

Nero Claudius Divvy Claudius, Philius

0:36

Caesar, Augustus Germanicus. And

0:38

that's times three. It's a busy

0:40

episode, it is, and it's a good thing. You have to

0:42

read that times three. Polly's

0:45

right, there are three documented

0:48

pseudo neuros, and it's

0:50

very likely there were many others who weren't

0:52

successful enough to make it into the

0:54

legend. Taking on the story of Nero is

0:56

really it's really quite a big task, and

0:59

to know why people pretended to be him,

1:02

we need to know him. But I also

1:04

want to give everybody a quick heads up here that

1:06

it won't be a surprise. Really, I think in the

1:08

realm of Roman rulers. But there's

1:11

going to be some domestic violence in this

1:13

episode. We're not going to linger over any of

1:15

it, but there is some mentioned.

1:17

There is some brutality, particularly the first

1:19

couple of minutes after our first sponsor

1:22

break. On December

1:24

fift in the year thirty seven of the Common

1:26

era, the man that we most commonly

1:29

know as Nero was born as Lucius

1:31

Dimidius Ahina Barbus. That's

1:33

the son of Nius Dimidius A. Hino Barbus

1:36

and Julia Agrippina also known

1:38

as Agrippina the Younger. Through

1:40

his mother, Lucius was the only living

1:43

direct male descendant of Emperor Augustus,

1:45

the first of the five Roman emperors,

1:48

in the year forty eight, when he was still quite

1:50

young and still called Lucius. Nero's

1:53

biological father, who was a Roman

1:55

general and politician, died soon

1:58

after Emperor Claudius took the own. Julia

2:00

and Claudius, who was her uncle, married

2:03

Now I know uncle, but marriage

2:06

in Roman times, as we've previously

2:08

talked about, wasn't really how we know

2:10

it to be today. It was almost never romantic,

2:12

and it was almost always an agreement

2:15

between families, and unlike in our

2:17

modern society. Sometimes that agreement was

2:19

within families. So after

2:21

this marriage, Claudius adopted Lucius,

2:23

and that is when Julia began to campaign

2:26

that her son should be the successor to

2:28

the throne, not Claudius's

2:30

biological son Britannicus, who was

2:32

the rightful heir. Not yet finished

2:34

with her plans for their family, Julia also

2:37

convinced Claudius that his daughter Octavia

2:40

should marry her son, which also

2:42

helped align Lucius with the throne. Those

2:45

two were in fact married in the year fifty

2:48

Claudius died just a few years later,

2:50

in the year fifty four, and it is widely

2:53

and I'm using a huge capital letters

2:55

on that suspected that his

2:57

wife, Julia had poisoned him

2:59

with shrooms at a banquet. And so if

3:01

this sounds familiar, we've actually talked about

3:03

Julia before. Back in our very

3:06

first season, we looked at the stories of

3:08

female poisoners, and one of the first

3:10

poisoners that we talked about was, in

3:12

fact Julia and her mushrooms.

3:15

In a very ambitious cocktail involving

3:18

infusing vodka

3:20

with mushrooms. It was a great idea. Still make

3:22

it for bloody Mary exactly Upon

3:24

the Emperor's death, Nero delivered

3:27

a eulogy in Claudius's honor to the

3:29

Senate, who then named him Emperor

3:31

of Rome. This was the moment when Lucius

3:33

became Nero, and Lucius took the

3:35

name Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus

3:37

Germanicus, and he ascended to the

3:40

throne on October, just

3:42

shy of his seventeenth birthday. I

3:45

think a lot of people would be surprised

3:47

by this, because what we know, or

3:49

think we know about Nero is that

3:51

he was a tyrant. But when he

3:54

started out, Nero actually wasn't described

3:56

that way. Nero was a teenager, he

3:59

was considered sense to historians

4:01

contemporary to him, such as Sutonius,

4:03

described him as handsome, with blue gray

4:06

eyes, freckles, and blonde hair, specifically

4:09

the yellow of the lion's mane. His

4:12

hair color, though, is it's actually a bit debated.

4:14

Many accounts referred to his blonde hair,

4:16

but based off of some portraits of

4:19

the emperor, some experts wonder

4:21

if his hair actually may have been a little more red

4:23

in color. He also had a beard, and

4:25

although he may have tried, it

4:27

did not cover up his double

4:30

chin, so this is all important

4:32

information if you have a plan on pretending

4:35

to be calm. Nero. So this

4:37

teenager who was possibly a strawberry

4:40

blonde, but liked going to the theater, and

4:42

he also enjoyed music, and he loved horse

4:44

racing. As emperor, he established

4:47

and performed in poetry, drama,

4:49

and athletic competitions. He

4:51

also ended secret political trials,

4:54

and he created a more independent senate.

4:56

He also banned capital punishment. Despite

4:59

whether the senate a rooved of him or not, his people

5:01

actually liked him at this point. There

5:03

is actually some pro Nero evidence out

5:06

there. So he started out quite well, but

5:08

unfortunately that did not last. When

5:11

Nero began his rule, he actually

5:13

preferred to stick to his own interests.

5:15

He preferred to leave the ruling of matters outside

5:17

of his areas of interest to his three chief

5:20

advisors, a major philosophical

5:22

figure of the time, Seneca who was

5:24

also his former tutor, Sextis

5:27

Eprinus Burris, who was

5:29

a prefect of the Praetorian Guard,

5:31

and Julia, who we know was his

5:33

mother. Julia, wrote historian

5:35

Cassius Dio quote, managed

5:38

for him all the business of the empire.

5:40

She received embassies and sent letter

5:43

to various communities, governors, and

5:45

kings. After a falling

5:47

out of some sort, though or perhaps

5:49

it was just that Nero reached the age of eighteen,

5:52

he eventually decided his mother was meddling

5:54

and he did not want her influencing his

5:56

rule. Encouraged by his former

5:58

tutor Seneca, Nero began asserting

6:01

himself. Julia assumed she was

6:03

entitled to rule as the mother of an

6:05

emperor, though, and she began threatening

6:07

Nero. Nero, though, was completely

6:10

unfazed. The Emperor Trajan,

6:12

who came to power thirty years after Nero's

6:14

death, is said to have spoken about the quinquinium

6:17

neronis, which means the five good

6:19

years of Nero's fourteen year rule. There's

6:22

actually a phrase about it. We're

6:25

going to take a break for a word from our sponsor.

6:27

Nero may have started out strong,

6:30

but things changed quickly. Welcome

6:40

back to Criminalia. Now

6:43

we are reaching that time we spoke of at

6:45

the top of the show, when Nero's rule became

6:47

brutal and violent. It most certainly

6:49

did, and after dispensing with his

6:51

advisors, the empire became

6:53

violent under him. Rumors

6:56

circulated about him, including everything

6:58

from how he sedue married

7:00

women to how he wandered the streets

7:02

at night looking for people to beat or

7:05

to kill at random.

7:07

Nero was at this point considered to be decadent,

7:10

ineffectual, and tyrannical. He

7:12

began executing rivals, political

7:14

rivals, or otherwise so do not cross

7:17

him, and he started

7:19

to torture and execute Christians. Nero

7:22

two had also developed quite a not

7:24

at all random hit list. It was

7:26

also in fifty five that Nero's

7:28

stepbrother, Britannicus, suddenly

7:30

died under suspicious circumstances.

7:34

Four years later, in the year fifty nine,

7:36

after learning his mother was allegedly

7:39

plotting against him, Nero put a

7:41

hit on her. First,

7:43

the plan was to poison her. Then it

7:46

was to have her crushed by a falling

7:48

ceiling, which seems very labor

7:50

intensive, but they all do. Then

7:53

he wanted to have her drowned in a self sinking boat.

7:55

She survived every single

7:58

attempt. Julia did not, however,

8:00

survived, being stabbed to death, a murder

8:02

disguised as suicide at the order of her

8:04

son. Then, in the year sixty

8:07

two, Nero exiled then

8:09

executed his stepsister slash

8:11

wife Octavia historian Suetonius

8:14

wrote that quote. After several vain attempts

8:17

to strangle her, he divorced her on the

8:19

ground of barrenness, and when the people took

8:21

it ill and openly reproached him, he

8:23

banished her besides, and

8:25

finally he had her put to death on a charge

8:28

of adultery that was so shameless

8:31

and unfounded. With Octavia

8:33

gone, Nero married Papaia,

8:35

who was a noble woman who was well known

8:37

for her beauty. Roman historian

8:40

Tacitus recorded that in sixty five,

8:42

Nero kicked Papia to death. She

8:45

was pregnant with their child at the

8:47

time. Tacitus went on to

8:49

describe the act as and were quoting

8:51

him here a casual outburst

8:54

of rage. In April of

8:56

the year sixty four, a Roman governor

8:58

named Gaius Julius Decks renounced

9:01

Nero. The Praetorian Guard

9:03

remember that is the force that was charged

9:05

with guarding the emperor himself, renounced

9:08

their support for him as well. When

9:10

the Romans finally had enough of Nero's behavior,

9:13

they revolted. By early June,

9:15

the Senate declared Nero an enemy

9:17

of the people, which basically

9:19

meant that anyone could kill him without

9:22

punishment. Tacitus wrote at the time,

9:24

and we're gonna quote him again. Unlucky

9:27

birds settled on the capitol houses

9:29

fell in numerous earthquakes, and the

9:31

week were trampled by the fleeing crowd.

9:35

Nero escaped to the country, where

9:37

on June nine he

9:40

died by suicide. He did not manage

9:42

this on his own, though his secretary

9:44

at Paphroditos assisted him.

9:47

Nero was the fifth Emperor of Rome and,

9:49

following his death, the last in the

9:51

Julio Claudian dynasty. The

9:54

line is synonymous with the death of Nero,

9:56

but it actually wasn't until fifty years after

9:58

that that historians sweeked Oinous reported

10:01

that his final words were quote

10:03

what an artist dies in me. Political

10:06

impostors, as we've seen this season,

10:09

often pop up when they see a specific

10:11

circumstance happening. A power

10:13

vacuum, for example, the death

10:16

of an emperor who had no heir,

10:18

such as Nero, left the door wide

10:20

open for people to make all sorts

10:23

of claims. Claims to being his

10:25

heir, claims to being the emperor himself,

10:28

more and more claims. I'm sure The

10:30

year sixty nine was known as the

10:32

year of four Emperors, and it was named

10:35

because four emperors ruled Rome

10:37

in rapid succession that year. They

10:39

were galba Otho, Vitelius,

10:41

and Vespasian. None of those men

10:43

were impostors, but this is when the impostors

10:46

started to come forward. Nero

10:49

may have been a tyrant, which

10:51

actually may be attractive to some impersonators,

10:54

but most of all, he was just a

10:56

powerful man, for better or for worse.

10:59

He ruled over the entire Roman Empire

11:01

for fourteen years. According

11:03

to the Glaudian census that took place in

11:05

the year forty seven, the population

11:08

was just under seven million people.

11:10

The Roman Empire was really something to behold,

11:12

and it's hard to know just how

11:15

accurate that number really is.

11:17

There was biased recording, for sure,

11:19

and we also don't know whether or

11:21

not the count over the years was limited to

11:24

male citizens, male citizens and their

11:26

families, or maybe it included women,

11:28

freed men, enslaved people, anybody

11:31

else. Either way, we do know he

11:33

ruled over a huge amount of people.

11:35

Even just scratching the surface, Nero's

11:38

rule was, let's call it turbulent,

11:41

but there were some really momentous

11:43

and historically significant events, both good

11:45

and bad, mostly bad during

11:48

his reign, the Great Fire of Rome,

11:50

which some actually claimed that Nero ignited

11:53

the rebellion of Buddhica against the Roman

11:55

conquerors of Britain, the assassination

11:57

of Nero's mother and his first and second

11:59

wives, many many other deaths,

12:01

of course, and as is synonymous

12:04

with Nero's brand, there was extravagant

12:07

excess and that meant tax

12:09

increases and other unpopular

12:11

decisions. With that snapshot

12:14

of the man who was Nero, why

12:16

would anyone ever really want to pretend to be

12:19

him? We're going to find out. We're

12:21

going to take a break for a word from our sponsor,

12:23

and when we're back where you're going to first talk

12:25

about Nero as the Antichrist.

12:36

Welcome back to Criminalia. Why

12:38

would anyone want to be Nero? Well

12:40

maybe power, money,

12:43

murder at think list goes on sure

12:46

murder if you wanted to do that, do you want to call

12:48

it that? Despite his marriages

12:50

and lovers, Nero had no

12:53

air so almost immediately following

12:55

his death, rival generals began

12:57

moving their troops toward Rome to stake

12:59

they claims, and it also didn't

13:01

take long before people pretending to be

13:04

Nero appeared, according to historian

13:06

sweet Tony, as several imperial edicts

13:09

were forged under Nero's name after

13:11

he had died, and with new

13:13

evidence who did these forgeries.

13:15

The signing of those documents actually encouraged

13:18

Nero's followers, who believed a very

13:20

persistent prophecy Nero's

13:23

return was imminent to avenge himself

13:25

against his enemies. Please let

13:27

me have a prophecy like this when I passed. This

13:31

idea of Nero's return was a

13:33

very popular one. In addition

13:36

to avenging himself against his enemies,

13:38

there was also a belief that was known as

13:40

the Nero read of Eva's. That was a

13:42

legend that assumed that Nero

13:45

was somehow still alive.

13:48

Depending on who you were and where you sat

13:50

in society, this would have been either

13:53

a good or bad prediction. The

13:55

wealthy, who had plotted against him kind

13:57

of feared that if Nero returned, he would come

13:59

for them first. It's kind of part of that avenging

14:02

himself against his enemies thing. The

14:04

poor, who had benefited from the emperor's

14:06

public policies believed that he had fled to Parthia.

14:09

Today, that's the region known as Corazon

14:11

in Iran. They are in

14:13

the seat of an enemy empire. He

14:15

would have been welcome to build an army to

14:17

destroy not just his enemies, but all

14:20

of Rome. I'm sure that

14:22

he would have too, because it seems like

14:24

he was just into destruction. So there's

14:26

another thing going on here. We

14:29

mentioned earlier that Nero really

14:32

seemed to enjoy his

14:34

torture of Christians, and Christianity

14:37

was still new in the first century, and

14:39

among the Christians who suffered

14:41

terrible religious persecution under his rule,

14:44

it was believed Nero was the personification

14:47

of the Antichrist, as described

14:49

in the Book of Revelations in the New Testament

14:52

of the Christian Bible. They believed for

14:54

centuries, and I believe I read it was into

14:57

the fifth century, maybe the sixth

14:59

century. It was a two hundred years that

15:01

Nero would return to destroy Christianity.

15:04

Today, scholars find it debatable

15:06

whether Emperor Nero was ever portrayed

15:09

or in some way characterized in the Bible,

15:12

and they typically agree that the description

15:14

of the Antichrist in Revelations thirteen

15:16

is really not similar enough to Nero's

15:18

legacy to prove or suggest anything.

15:21

Nero impostors began to appear just a

15:23

month or two after his death, and continued

15:26

until the reign of Emperor Demisian

15:28

began. The first of the men,

15:30

known as a pseudo Nero, appeared in

15:32

sixty We don't know his name,

15:34

but what we do know is that he appeared in what

15:37

is modern day Greece. It's speculated

15:39

by some historians that this first impostor

15:42

decided to appear in Greece based on a

15:44

trip that Nero had taken a few

15:46

years prior. It is said

15:48

that Nero absolutely loved Greece,

15:51

which was then part of Imperial Rome, and

15:53

he took part in several Greek festivals.

15:56

The year that he visited, he took home

15:58

a rumored eight hundred eight

16:00

breaths of victory for his artistic presentations.

16:03

Listen, I'm creative. That's a lot to churn

16:06

out. He should be very proud.

16:09

Nero also competed in the chariot

16:11

races, which he also won,

16:14

even though he fell from his chariot.

16:16

Nero wins. Nero always wins.

16:19

But does the fake Nero win? It's

16:22

hard to know. The historian Tacitus

16:24

wrote that this first fake

16:27

Nero could have been an enslaved person

16:29

from Pontus which is located in

16:31

what's modern day Eastern

16:33

Black Sea region of Turkey or

16:36

Tacit is considered the man may

16:38

have been a freedman from Italy. In

16:40

other writings, because the first

16:42

pseudo Nero appeared in Greece, he

16:45

attributed the whole impostor problem

16:47

too, and I'm going to quote him the gullibility

16:50

of the Greeks got to get a jab

16:52

in. I know common Tacitus

16:54

and Tacitus had more to say about the

16:56

not Nero. It is through

16:58

Tacitus that we know this fake Nero was

17:01

appealing to Roman soldiers to become

17:03

part of his own growing armed forces,

17:06

and Tacitus was onto something. The

17:08

first pseudo Nero was able to convince

17:10

a group of army deserters to join up

17:12

with him, believing that he was the real Nero,

17:16

and this group set sail, and then this pseudo

17:18

Nero began his career in piracy.

17:21

The pseudo Nero's motley group, actually,

17:24

though, was blown by a storm to an

17:26

island off the coast of modern day Greece.

17:28

It's here where his crew first

17:30

began acting like pirates.

17:32

They stole from businesses, they even stole

17:35

from other pirate crews. They were known

17:37

for kidnapping the locals. The

17:39

Romans benefited from piracy during the first

17:41

century, though from a Nero impostor

17:43

or otherwise, so this actually

17:45

wasn't a bad plan for our Not Nero

17:48

pirates supplied the empire with

17:50

all kinds of things, but mostly

17:52

people they had kidnapped and enslave.

17:55

During this time, piracy spread through the Mediterranean

17:58

and that became a problem

18:00

for a lot of reasons, but mainly because

18:02

pirate ships made waterways hard

18:04

or even impossible to navigate,

18:07

and that caused a stop or

18:09

slow in trade. And because of

18:11

the pirates proclivity to steal, then

18:14

supplies grew scarce. And I feel like

18:16

I just came full circle here. But hires

18:19

the in the Mediterranean, it's a self

18:21

perpetuating system.

18:23

According to records of naval captains

18:26

at the time, it was Roman senator Lucius

18:28

a Supernus who finally ended

18:30

this ruse. He ordered his soldiers

18:32

to storm the ship and kill the

18:34

pseudo Nero, and when the impostor

18:37

was apprehended, he was beheaded. The

18:40

first pseudo Nero, though never broke

18:42

character and never stopped

18:44

using the name Nero. I couldn't

18:46

find this, but I hope that he used

18:49

the name pirate Nero instead

18:52

of emperor in this particular situation,

18:54

but I will never know, so we have to

18:56

wait like ten years for the

18:58

second notable Nero imposter to come

19:00

on the scene. The second pseudo Nero appeared

19:03

during the reign of Titus, who was emperor

19:06

from seventy nine to eighty

19:08

one, and this not Nero was a man

19:10

named Tarenthius Maximus, who was a

19:12

Roman citizen. Almost certain

19:15

that was the case, a few things

19:17

in Tarentius's story get a little jumbled

19:20

with time, though. He is,

19:22

although infrequently, described as

19:24

resembling an Asian man, so this

19:26

would mean Central Asian in this case. It's

19:29

written that some of his first supporters

19:31

were from Asian regions, and the Roman

19:33

Empire extended into Asian regions

19:35

at this point. Specifically, we're talking

19:37

about the area that was once called Asia Minor

19:40

and is now modern day Turkey. It's

19:42

written he resembled Nero in appearance

19:44

that at least a bit, and perhaps a

19:47

bit in his manner of speaking too, and

19:50

as the pretend emperor he as

19:52

Nero was known to do, also sang

19:54

and enjoyed playing the lyre, which is basically

19:57

a small U shaped harp, although

19:59

they still the time period. He was probably

20:02

playing the satara, which is a

20:04

heavy wooden instrument with four to like

20:07

seven strings, and it's really similar

20:09

to the liar. Aside from playing

20:11

music, Tarentius had big plans

20:14

as a second pseudo Nero. Tarentius

20:16

is a pretender who did have real followers,

20:18

and quite a lot of them, actually spreading across

20:21

the Euphrates to Parthia.

20:23

His followers grew large enough that he actually

20:25

led a rebellion, but that was quickly suppressed

20:28

by Titus's forces. Ultimately,

20:31

he was given refuge by Roman rival

20:33

are Tobanus, the third of Parthia, but

20:36

he was executed when his true identity

20:38

was revealed. And here

20:40

we are with our third and

20:42

final impostor. The third

20:45

pseudo Nero appeared twenty yet

20:47

twenty years after the real

20:49

nero is death. He maybe twenty years

20:52

closer to modern times, but we know

20:54

the least about this fake Nero.

20:57

He arrived on the scene during the reign

20:59

of Misian, the Roman emperor

21:02

from eight one to ninety six. He

21:04

was actually just chiefly known for his reign of terror.

21:06

This not Nero was from Parthia

21:09

and was backed by the Parthians and the

21:11

leaders of the Parthian Empire. The

21:13

Empire was a major political and cultural

21:15

power in ancient Iran between two

21:18

hundred forty seven b c. Two

21:21

e. The Parthian Empire and the Romans,

21:23

first as the Roman Republic and then as the Roman

21:26

Empire ward for if itally

21:28

it all up roughly seven hundred

21:30

years. The Parthian Empire

21:33

stood in the way of the Roman Empire's desire

21:35

for eastern expansion, but that

21:38

dynasty was a superpower in its own

21:40

right. The Empire stretched from the Mediterranean

21:42

to India, roughly the region

21:44

located in northeastern Iran

21:46

today. They didn't just fight and

21:49

win battles against Rome. They were

21:51

also successful at their commercial

21:53

endeavors. Among other things, they acted

21:55

as intermediaries between Chinese

21:57

growers and Roman manufacturers

21:59

on law the Silk Road. So the third

22:01

fake Nero was successfully

22:03

able to convince a large number of people

22:06

throughout both the Parthian and Roman empires

22:09

that he was actually Nero returned.

22:11

Remember, a lot of them believed this prophecy. They

22:13

were ready for a Nero to show up exactly

22:16

ultimately as the other pseudo

22:18

Neros. This Nero too disappeared

22:21

by execution, possibly

22:24

as he was a party in pretending to be a Roman.

22:26

But here's the sort of disappointing part.

22:29

History doesn't leave us that answer. We don't

22:31

know what actually happened to him. It's like a

22:33

choose your inn adventure. You can make it up yourself,

22:36

which reminds me that sometimes you make

22:39

choose your own adventure. Cocktails

22:41

and mocktails, and you probably don't have one today,

22:43

but I would love to hear about what you do have. I hear

22:45

there's more than one. There's more than one because

22:47

there's a chooser and adventure sort of, but

22:51

not for the mock tail. The mocktail is very simple.

22:54

Here is where I started thinking

22:56

about what we would do as

22:59

a doneiro, which is what I'm just going to call

23:01

this one because I really love that phrase. Recently,

23:04

on another podcast, I Do Stuff You Missed in

23:06

History Class, we talked about dire Coquinadia,

23:09

which is the first known cookbook and its

23:11

recipes from the first to the

23:14

fourth centuries that were

23:16

combined by someone

23:18

possibly named a pick Us in the early

23:21

you know stages of our history. Anyway,

23:24

the pick U says it's known has some

23:26

good recipes for drinks, and

23:29

so I went to it first. There are

23:31

a couple of recipes it has, and I want

23:33

to get credit for not doing the path

23:36

and easy to predict for me

23:38

thing but I wanted to which

23:40

is rose wine. This

23:44

is not the drink for today, but if you're curious,

23:46

it involves like collecting fresh

23:49

rose petals and then you steep them in wine

23:51

for like seven days, and then you strain it and you

23:53

steep it for another seven days and it

23:55

I didn't have twenty one days to do the whole

23:58

process. But also

24:00

has a recipe for violet

24:03

wine, and that sounded

24:05

yummy and delicious, and again I didn't feel

24:07

like steeping flowers in wine. But

24:09

I have a workaround that makes it quick and easy,

24:12

and that is violet syrup. And if

24:14

you have never had this, it is a majestic

24:17

addition to your kitchen. You will start

24:19

putting it in everything. It goes great on everything

24:21

from ice cream into ginger ales

24:23

into like even

24:26

some teas mixed with a violet

24:28

syrup are very beautiful. I just love it. So

24:30

for the mocktail pseudo neuro, you're

24:33

going to start with three quarters of an ounce

24:35

of violet syrup. I didn't go more than

24:37

that because that is another syrup that will

24:39

really start to overwhelm. And as I like

24:41

to say, drive the bus, you're gonna get flower

24:43

tastes with three quarters of an ounce, I promise you, and

24:46

then throw that in a glass with ice,

24:48

add about five ounces of cranberry

24:51

juice. I like to go with a low sugar cranberry

24:53

juice because the violet syrup tends to be very

24:56

sweet. Um, so a low or

24:58

no sugar added is a great option here.

25:00

And then a splash of lime juice just

25:02

to balance that all out. And then

25:04

you can garnish it with a lime wedge if you want,

25:07

or a violet if you have one on hand. And

25:09

it's just very refreshing and beautiful

25:11

and you get that lovely, lovely floral flavor.

25:14

But also you know, the cranberry adds its own

25:16

element to it and it's very very yummy.

25:18

So that is the pseudo nero.

25:21

Um. There are two alcoholic

25:24

options. One

25:26

is very simple, it's basically this exact

25:29

recipe that we did in the mocktail. And then you're just

25:31

gonna add one to one

25:34

point five ounces of a vodka. I

25:36

know, that's predictable. But this at this point, you

25:38

have a floral vodka cranberry, right

25:40

like, which is a fun way to

25:42

twist up a vodka cran and make it

25:44

a little bit something special. Also, you

25:46

know it. You can vary the amount

25:49

in any of these of spirit that you add

25:51

depending on on how strong you want to drink to

25:53

be. Remember, one point five

25:55

ounces is about as high as you want to go by

25:57

most bartending regulation

26:00

and standards, drink responsibly. The

26:02

other alcoholic option, though, is a

26:04

little bit different and more involved,

26:06

because as you remember, this whole thing started thinking

26:08

about wine, it's a very common

26:11

drink in Rome. They often

26:13

drank water down wine like people.

26:15

It's kind of that thing where people are like, oh, they drink

26:17

all the time. Well it was kind of watered down. It was like they're

26:19

they're standard bevrage as I like

26:22

to say, to be silly. So this

26:24

one is gonna have very similar

26:27

DNA, but it starts instead

26:30

with three ounces of ruby ports.

26:32

And I like this because you can put a ruby port over

26:34

a little bit of ice. It's fine. It doesn't follow

26:36

those don't involve ice rules that that

26:38

some wines will um. And

26:41

I would add to that one point five ounces

26:43

of that low sugar cranberry juice because it brightens

26:46

it up. The ruby port is very heavy. Naturally,

26:48

you're gonna also do your three quarters of an

26:50

ounce of violet syrup in your splash of lime,

26:52

garnish it with the violet or a lime

26:55

whichever you prefer. To give it a little stir

26:57

before you put the garnish it. It is so

26:59

shockingly yummy. It is much heavier

27:01

because that port is just naturally going to be heavier,

27:04

but it's a very fun one. You can pretend you're

27:07

a modern Roman, I guess,

27:09

and you can be like, oh, yes, I

27:12

I'm practically cooking from

27:14

a picky use. I'm fancy

27:17

really, which is you know the street cred

27:19

that you want to throw out at a party

27:21

use? Yeah, I do. Some people

27:23

do, and that's fabulous. But those

27:26

are your options. So it also I kind

27:28

of wanted to do three separate options for

27:30

the three pseudo neuros, so

27:32

I'm glad that you did. I bet they appreciate

27:34

that. Whether you are a drinker

27:37

or no, whether you want to go a

27:39

little harder in flavor with the port

27:42

or keep it a softer, summery

27:45

vodka cran with a flower flavor. You

27:47

have all the options you can imagine,

27:49

and I hope one of those delights you and you

27:51

enjoy it and it adds to your

27:54

We're now kind of middle to end

27:56

of summer at this point, everyone could use

27:58

a refreshing libation. Yes,

28:03

thank you for spending some more time with

28:05

us this week. We feel so lucky every time you do.

28:08

And we will be right back here next week with

28:10

some more Criminalia.

28:16

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