0:00

Another day is here, and you're ready for

0:02

it. What to wear? Check. Breakfast, lunch, and

0:04

dinner? Check. Planning for what's next and how

0:06

to save for it? That's where Bank of

0:08

America can help. For your financial

0:10

to-dos, Bank of America has experts ready to

0:12

help get you closer to your goals. Get

0:14

started at one of our local financial centers

0:17

or 24-7 in our mobile banking app.

0:19

Find a location near you at bankofamerica.com/talktosus.

0:21

What would you like the power to

0:24

do? Mobile banking requires downloading the app and is

0:26

only available for select devices. Message and data rates may apply.

0:28

Bank of America and a member FDIC. When

0:39

No matter what tasty choice you make, you'll

0:41

enjoy our everyday low prices. Plus, extra ways

0:43

to save, like digital coupons worth over $600

0:46

each week. You

0:48

can also save up to $1 off per gallon

0:50

at the pump with fuel points. More

0:52

savings and more inspiring flavors. Gelatinous

1:27

cubes, I hope. The

1:57

imperative that she has gifted upon him. I

2:00

am Joe Manganiello and I'm

2:02

Archon, the Cruel, the

2:04

Red, Dragonborn, Oathbreaker

2:06

Paladin, and Worshipper of

2:08

T.M.N. I

2:16

was a hired killer who joined a

2:18

monastery to try

2:21

to stop the drinking and killing. And

2:24

somewhere along the way, I wound

2:26

up breathing fire into a dark

2:29

room, which turned out to

2:31

be a group of unsuspecting, sleeping goblin

2:34

soldiers. And when I heard them screaming

2:36

and running in flames, I'd

2:39

never felt so alive in my

2:41

life. And so I started drinking

2:43

and killing again. And

2:46

worshiping five-headed dragon goddesses, and here we

2:48

are. There you are. It's very rock

2:50

and roll. It's

2:52

just my life. Archon.

2:57

Your research has brought you months

2:59

of frustration until you

3:01

crossed paths with a knowing monk of the

3:03

Cobalt Reserve named Duann. Extracting

3:06

his understanding of ancient seals and

3:08

forgotten artifacts of the gods, this

3:11

gave you the name of the cavern that bears your mark,

3:15

the Vault of Shumas, within

3:18

the Agarad Mountains of Marquette. Knowing

3:22

rumor of the dangers within, you've

3:24

hired a small band of mercenaries to accompany

3:26

you into the depths of this vault. Jessica

3:30

would like to introduce your character. I am

3:32

the head mistress, a level five human

3:34

monk. My parents abandoned me at a

3:36

monastery. I'm really bitter about

3:38

it. Super pissed, actually. Don't wanna

3:41

be here. Think all these bitches suck. And

3:43

I'm pretty much just out for things for

3:45

myself. I'm Percival

3:47

Fredrik Steinwald Musulkelowski, the role of the

3:50

third, the human gunslinger. And

3:53

I'm out for a bit of inspiration pre-stream.

3:56

It's like an origins issue. Hi,

3:58

I'm Keyleth of the... doing

4:01

a bit of a time jump back to when I

4:03

was good at level five. I'd say

4:05

Percy and I are taking a little bit of a vacation.

4:10

It's a working vacation, but it's a

4:12

vacation. And it's a

4:14

little pre-stream adventure. The

4:16

name's DuPont DuPont Dwarven Rogue. If there's going to

4:19

be had, I'll be there. You might know me

4:21

as Mr. Steel-Yo Girl, but you should know me

4:23

as Mr. Cut-Your-Purse. After

4:26

days of travel on the north side of

4:28

the Marquette Desert and entering

4:30

the Krag-Agradd Mountains, a

4:33

few days of camping finally bring you to what the

4:35

maps tell you, is the

4:37

entranceway to the Vault of Shumas. Now

4:40

you're now standing in the unforgiving sun

4:42

of the Marquette sky, cloudless and angry.

4:45

Before you is the great stone, sand-covered door

4:47

of the vault. There is no

4:49

visible mechanism to open it. Well,

4:53

this seems to be my area of expertise. Being

4:56

a dwarf, I'm going to investigate. Being

4:58

a rogue, I'm going to see if there's some

5:00

sort of hidden mechanism. All right, go ahead and

5:02

roll an investigation check. Ooh,

5:06

let's see, ten. A big ten.

5:08

Come on, low DC. Double

5:10

difference. What's up? It's

5:13

you, boy. You brush away some of the

5:15

sand on the door, revealing a faint, detailed

5:17

design carved across the entirety of its surface.

5:20

It resembles a mass of snakes, nodding

5:22

themselves together for feet and feet and feet until

5:24

it reaches the top of the mountain. Deep

5:27

in the center of this mass is a single

5:29

human face, male, screaming,

5:32

and his mouth seems to be a small porthole

5:34

of some kind, about four inches

5:36

across. Oh,

5:39

this looks awfully familiar in my teachings

5:41

at the monastery. What

5:44

kind of church did you go to?

5:47

What class did you teach? You

5:49

said it. It's good to know a

5:51

lot of things. Yeah. Um, can I...

5:58

Be my chair? What are

6:00

you trying to do? I'm trying to, I'm

6:03

trying to, I don't know, really, but I'm trying

6:05

to open the fucking door. It's

6:08

crazy. Is it some sort of keyhole

6:10

or perhaps, does it look more like an inset goes into

6:12

it? It's roughly about that

6:15

big around. It looks like

6:17

something could be placed into it or pulled out of

6:19

it. You're not entirely certain. You just now, thanks

6:21

to Dupont-Dupont, realize its existence. It's a

6:23

screaming snake face with a fist hole.

6:25

This is a very dangerous sort of

6:27

goonies vibe to it. Dupont, you should put your fist inside

6:29

to see what happens. All

6:31

right. Oh, good. That

6:35

was easy. Don't stop,

6:37

that looks dangerous. He thought to himself. You

6:42

sure you wanna do that? Do you really know what a

6:44

screaming snake face is? Anything clicks in my

6:46

mind where he shouldn't put his

6:48

hand in there. Maybe this is

6:51

more of a magical. Go ahead

6:53

and roll an investigation check. What do they teach about

6:55

snakes and face holes that take Adam to it? Always

6:59

put your fist in them. Oh, hud, stuff

7:01

shit, Dan, sorry. It's

7:03

hard to be concerned and it's super safe. Oh,

7:05

God smiles upon this. This is not really what

7:08

we're talking about. You're fine, Dan, you're fine.

7:10

Sometimes I can detect traps or

7:12

anything, no? Yeah. Before it's, I

7:14

mean, look. You're the rogue. I just ran into this

7:16

guy. I normally have a rogue that does that. He's

7:18

not that much emotionally invested for me. I'm

7:21

just trying to help you out. I have played with the Joe before.

7:23

He's, I didn't quite realize to

7:25

an extent of how much of a Dungeons and Dragons lineage

7:28

he comes from. A lot of

7:30

people I get a chance to play with who, you know, in

7:32

the entertainment industry are either relatively new or wanting to be introduced

7:34

to it. He's from old stock. He's been

7:36

doing this for a while. So, you know, we

7:39

had an absolute great time with the first time we had a chance to

7:41

play and this is just a continuation of that awesome

7:43

experience. Look, you're paying the bills here. You hired us.

7:45

I'll detect for traps. Put your fist in the hole.

7:48

I'm gonna make an investigation check. Oh, no. Oh,

7:52

jeez, you guys. High roller over

7:54

here. Looking at a big old

7:56

seven. Currently, it looks like

7:58

this may be. some sort of a

8:00

mechanism to opening the door, but it does not appear

8:03

to be trapped. Look, it seems safe to me, I'm

8:05

going to thrust thusly and I thrust. As

8:08

your hand reaches about six or seven inches into

8:10

this small gap in the door, you find

8:12

there's a singular iron rod, maybe an inch in

8:14

width, that seems to act almost like a handle.

8:18

I'd like to pull. All right. As you wrap your fingers

8:20

around and give a firm tug

8:22

on the metal rod, you

8:26

hear a strange shifting metallic sound.

8:30

And a series of small needles suddenly

8:32

protrude and impale your hand on the inside

8:34

of a spooning. Oh, betrayed! You

8:38

take eight points of poison damage, and

8:41

I need you to make a constitution saving

8:43

throw. All right. Where's my constitution? This is the

8:45

worst door ever. Boy,

8:48

I've had enough. Wow, great at rolling these

8:50

sevens, huh? Is

8:52

seven plus my constitution modifier?

8:54

Yeah. Nine. All right.

8:58

The immediate pain of the needles impaling

9:00

into your hand, it

9:02

filters through your body, and as you withdraw your

9:04

hand as the needles retract, you guys

9:06

hear the door suddenly shift

9:08

and begin to open as it lifts its

9:11

way across the mountain surface, feeling

9:13

a darkened passage. Oh! Oh! Oh!

9:17

Oh! The venom does... pulls

9:21

through your hand. As you feel it begin to

9:23

course through your system, you are currently poisoned. But

9:25

not like a cool bane way? No,

9:27

not so much. Can

9:30

I do a medicine check and

9:32

see if I can ascertain if this is a

9:34

natural poison? Sure, go ahead and... Sorry, you said eight

9:36

points. Is it a snake venom? I bet

9:38

it's a snake venom. It's

9:41

flying squirrel venom. Oh,

9:44

that's purgud. That's purgud.

9:46

What is my medicine these days? Okay,

9:50

as you guys begin to walk towards the entrance

9:52

way to this dark interior with no light from

9:54

beyond the bit of sunlight that cascades within, you

9:57

check DuPont's hand and sure enough, the venom itself...

10:00

is coursing through the hand and beginning to find

10:02

its way through his bloodstream. It doesn't appear to

10:04

be lethal, but it is somewhat debilitating. MARISHA and

10:06

LAURA can I go ahead and immediately make a

10:09

rough tourniquet to keep this? TRAVIS and TALIESIN I hold

10:11

her hands back, I grab his hand, and

10:13

I use five points from my pool to stop

10:15

the poison. MARISHA and LAURA

10:17

Oh, how delicious. MATT and LAURA

10:19

You watch as the large, red-scaled dragonborn

10:21

rushes over, I say rush,

10:24

casually strolls over in his armor,

10:26

grabs your currently endangered

10:28

hand, and you watch as your sudden

10:30

burst of divine warm energy glows from

10:33

his claw. You feel as if

10:35

a sudden series of snake bites hit

10:37

your hand, almost matching the pain of the poison.

10:39

However, these multitudes of tiny divine

10:41

dragon mouths actually draw the venom out

10:43

of your bloodstream and spit it onto

10:45

the sand below before the energy dissipates.

10:47

You are no longer poisoned. TALIESIN I prostrate myself

10:49

before time, Matt. MATT

10:54

You lose an extra foot of hype there, getting

10:56

on your knees. This is tiny. TALIESIN

10:58

You'll be coming true, will you? TRAVIS

11:01

I think, I was the only healer in

11:03

the group. It's

11:05

always tricky to get somebody who

11:07

wants to play a cleric. That's

11:09

always a really specific thing. So,

11:12

DuPont stuck his hand, he had to take

11:14

one for the team, and stick

11:17

his hand in and grab the lever, and

11:19

in doing so, he paled himself with these

11:22

poison needles that then poisoned his body, and

11:24

luckily, having some healer

11:27

ability, healed him. TALIESIN

11:30

quick check, just because I'm curious. What kind

11:32

of other footprints in this hallway yet?

11:34

Human or snake prints?

11:37

MATT and TALIESIN

11:40

Well, that's lovely. That's

11:44

22. MATT

11:46

and TALIESIN As you guys are going to make your way

11:48

in, your human eyes, unfortunately,

11:50

are not well adapted to the

11:52

dark-lightless interior, so you can only

11:54

really check the area immediately around

11:56

the entranceway. TALIESIN Did someone say

11:58

darkvision? TALIESIN no, I've said torch.

12:03

I did say basic standard of hearing, which

12:05

apparently is a problem. You

12:08

would have a torch on you. All right,

12:10

I'll take a look around. I want to see anything

12:12

that would open the door that wouldn't mind the venom,

12:14

I'm just curious if that was a trap or if

12:16

that was a test. Maybe

12:19

both. Maybe both. Looking

12:21

around, you find

12:23

that there are a series

12:25

of footprints that lead through here, most of

12:28

them humanoid. One

12:30

or two that appear to be rather large and

12:33

a consistent groove. However,

12:35

these tracks have been untouched

12:38

for a very long

12:40

time. The set of dust that has begun

12:42

to accumulate on top of these places and

12:44

the atmosphere inside here, which the smell

12:47

already is of dry rot and burnt

12:49

dust as you enter, appears

12:51

the interior has not been touched in quite some time. So

12:54

we're inside, and what exactly,

12:57

I guess, so we're under

12:59

the door now? Yeah, you've moved underneath the door,

13:01

which has partially moved up to reveal about 10

13:03

feet of height to

13:06

move within. And on the inside, you see

13:08

a long natural rock cavern that is very

13:10

smoothly chiseled on each side, about 25 foot

13:12

wide, about 40 feet tall. And

13:15

as you progress forward, you can see a series of

13:17

columns that line about every 20 or so feet. So

13:19

the interior, this does appear to be intentionally

13:22

crafted as some sort of a temple

13:25

or a structure for living in

13:28

worship. Okay, and there's nothing else

13:30

inside of this room or

13:33

this hallway, this chamber? Not where you're standing now.

13:35

If you wish to progress further. Could

13:37

we check for writing or hieroglyphs or anything like that?

13:40

Sure, make a perception check. Okay. Nice.

13:51

All right, you begin to, as you

13:53

guys move deeper and deeper down this dark

13:56

hallway, you run your fingers along the wall ever

13:58

so carefully to make sure it's not a place to go. apply too much pressure,

14:00

but just feel the variations in the texture. And

14:03

as you get close enough, the

14:05

outskirts of Percival's Torchlight, you

14:08

gently brush off a bit of dust

14:10

and see there are symbols. Not a

14:12

long string, but singular, glyph-like symbols that

14:15

seem to be occasionally set

14:17

throughout the hallway. What languages

14:19

do you know? I know Common

14:21

and Elvin. Okay, you do not

14:23

recognize the nature of these various symbols. It

14:25

doesn't appear to be a- Have you found

14:27

something, Headmistress? Yes, I found some writing along

14:29

the walls here, but unfortunately, I don't know what

14:32

it says. Anyone?

14:34

You know, I have Draconic. So pretty. You

14:36

have Draconic. Dwarven. Dwarven. Celestial.

14:39

And in primordial. Primordial. Currently,

14:42

none of you are able to

14:45

read this language. It looks

14:47

old, and the edges of the designs

14:49

are very sharp. I

14:53

wanna say, if you could go

14:55

ahead and make a history roll.

14:59

You know, not even

15:01

just Joe, but just Matt. I mean, everybody,

15:03

they're really good, and

15:05

you don't realize how good

15:08

they are until you

15:10

are playing with them in

15:12

a group, and then it becomes really

15:14

apparent how bad you are and how

15:17

good they are. I gotta admit, I

15:19

was extremely impressed and also very intimidated

15:21

to keep up. Geez,

15:26

two. It's

15:29

all coming to me. Obviously,

15:31

I didn't study well at school. You're

15:35

finding it difficult to ascertain the nature of this language

15:37

directly, but it does appear to be very old. Hmm,

15:39

well. Anybody else get

15:42

at history? It's really not

15:44

my forte. It's not my nightmare. I'll

15:46

give a roll, since I'm a reader.

15:52

Where's my new history? History, I think, 23. 23,

15:56

not bad. So,

15:59

looking at it. And from your knowledge of

16:02

Celestial, it gives

16:04

you the inclination, because there are similar

16:06

elements of these symbols, though a bit

16:08

twisted and reversed. This is abyssal. It's

16:11

abyssal, isn't it? Yeah. Oh.

16:14

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

16:17

Oh. Oh. What

16:19

do we know about this place? Nothing.

16:25

Is it? This is a little archon. This

16:27

is possibly more than we bargained

16:29

for. Do you have any idea, or

16:31

have you done research before you brought

16:34

us here? I don't read so

16:36

much. Oh. Yeah,

16:40

what do I know about this place? From

16:42

what you've researched, this vault acted as a

16:45

religious sanctum for an ancient civilization

16:48

that existed right at

16:50

the beginning of the Age of Arcanum. However,

16:52

the individuals that originally lived

16:54

within here were systematically slaughtered

16:57

by an incursion, another religious

16:59

force, that sensed close and

17:01

locked the vault off. This

17:04

happened right before a great war

17:06

called the Calamity, or the Divergence. And

17:10

since then, nobody really knows what resides

17:12

within, and the only thing that's drawn you to this

17:14

location are the visions you've had. You've

17:17

seen the mountainscape, you've seen the hot desert

17:19

sun, you've seen symbols that are similar

17:21

to the gloats you've seen on the wall here, and

17:24

the doorway that you came through. So

17:26

you know you're at the right place, but as to the actual

17:28

nature of the interior, you're

17:30

kind of in the same place as the rest of

17:32

your party. Okay, and it's a 25 feet wide-ish? About

17:37

20, 25 foot wide for the current tunnel. Okay,

17:39

and how far can we see down the tunnel? There he is,

17:41

like what's the second version? I have dark vision, I'm 60 feet.

17:44

Dark vision as well. So as you guys progress forward. I

17:47

think the humans will stand back with the dwarves. Yeah, I'm hanging out

17:49

with you. Me and Dupont will take the lead. We'll just stare as

17:51

hard as we can. Thank

17:53

you, Kevin. Perfect. As

17:56

you progress past these rows of cracked pillars,

17:58

deeper, deeper into the darkness. We're

18:01

stealthy by the way. Okay,

18:04

I want you guys to both be stealth then. Oh

18:06

no. What

18:09

did you do? With

18:11

my modifier, it's an 11. Is

18:14

it though? Really? Natural one.

18:17

I rolled a 16. Okay, well as

18:19

you carefully move forward, you watch as, which

18:22

by the way, a number of these pillars you see are like,

18:24

cracked, a few have fallen just through, whether

18:26

it be localized seismic activity,

18:29

or just general erosion over time, some of these

18:31

interior elements that were crafted have fallen. You

18:34

notice this as, DuPont, looking ahead,

18:36

does not realize that a large cluster of this

18:39

broken marble or sandstone-like substance smacks

18:41

him in the shin with a single step, and

18:43

he tumbles over onto the ground with a loud

18:45

yelp. We're gonna need a yelp. Oh!

18:51

That's my door of a yelp. That was definitely

18:53

a door of a yelp. I

18:55

am. Keyleth turns around

18:57

really fast in panic. It's good. Oh,

19:00

for God's sake. All clear.

19:03

Did you say something? No. What

19:05

did you say? It was a stealth maneuver.

19:09

Recovered. As

19:12

you were, shh.

19:15

Shh. You both quietly.

19:18

I look at you like, what the fuck? What

19:20

is that sound? I just started shaking my head.

19:23

The higher door, I believe, was just accosted by a

19:25

rock. As

19:28

you guys continue. I have unnatural

19:31

inclination towards stone. I'm

19:34

drawn to it. I don't need to know about

19:36

your personal life. That's a bit distressing. Mr.

19:40

Dupont. Progressing

19:42

forward an additional 100 or

19:44

so feet into this tunnel, you begin

19:46

to descend into a small decline where

19:49

you see a faint hint of light

19:51

ahead. It appears to be sunlight

19:54

in coloration. It's warm, yellow, white,

19:57

and just barely touching the

19:59

floor. as it appears that this

20:01

incline evens out to a lower level. Is

20:04

the ceiling getting higher? The ceiling appears to

20:07

be rather consistent at this point in time. It's still about

20:09

40 feet high. All right, this is making me nervous. Can

20:12

I do like a nature check to try and discern

20:14

how far in the ground we are? Sure.

20:17

Why would we be seeing sunlight? That's

20:22

not great. That's not. You've

20:26

only progressed a few hundred feet and

20:28

knowing at least the angle that mountain

20:30

was in, your equivalent of maybe 500

20:33

to 600 feet below the surface. However,

20:38

where this pathway would stop and

20:41

the chamber where this light seems to be coming through would

20:43

be close to probably 1,000 feet beneath the

20:45

mountain surface. So

20:48

probably not natural sunlight.

20:51

Nope. Good

20:55

to know. I'd like

20:57

to check for secret doors. Playing

20:59

with Joe was awesome. He came

21:01

prepared with his own dice and

21:03

his own dice books and he

21:05

had stories for each one. And

21:08

it's just, you gotta love playing

21:11

with those old school guys and they like

21:13

always get into it immediately. Yeah,

21:15

he was great. And he's welcome at

21:17

my table anytime. Go for it. Okay,

21:19

make an investigation check. Hey.

21:25

Six. Okay. Not

21:28

a one. I

21:30

think you figured out how to open a pocket on your

21:33

under belt. As you were asking. As your stealthy

21:36

duo progress forward, the

21:40

bag of sun chips. Yeah. The

21:46

Archon, the Dragonborn Paladin steps forward and begins to run his hand

21:48

on the wall similar to the way he saw the monk doing

21:50

earlier, keeping a watch for something that might click

21:53

in or resemble an entrance to

21:55

some other avenue. Nothing

21:58

seems to find your grasp. as your

22:00

gauntleted fingers scrape across the stone's surface.

22:02

However, you eventually catch up to these

22:04

two who are slowly progressing as you

22:06

reach the bottom of this decline and

22:08

see the interior of the next chamber.

22:12

What you now see is

22:14

a rectangular chamber about 80 foot

22:17

by 80 foot wide, or

22:19

80 foot by 100 feet in length, and

22:22

it's lit by a soft yellow glow

22:25

universally within this chamber. A

22:27

wide stone about five foot in

22:29

diameter appears to be

22:31

set into the central ceiling portion of this chamber

22:34

with three pillars in a

22:37

triangular form around the surface of

22:39

the ceiling that then come to

22:41

the bottom, hitting the floor of

22:43

the chamber. Two

22:45

of them appear to be relatively damaged, and you

22:47

get the sense from some of the impacts here

22:49

that perhaps the battle of the original incursion that

22:52

took this temple did take

22:54

a bit of a toll on a number of

22:56

the bits of architecture. They're

22:59

also at the base of these pillars, three

23:02

obelisks about eight feet tall.

23:04

Just smooth, no discerning

23:06

symbols or markings that jut out of

23:08

the ground at various angles at the

23:10

base of each of these pillars. In

23:13

between the three of them, right at the center of

23:15

where this stone is set in the ceiling, you

23:18

see what appears to be a small quartz

23:20

altar about three feet high

23:23

from the floor. There

23:25

are three small concave

23:27

indentations carved into the

23:30

surface of this altar, with

23:32

one of them, the one that's furthest away from

23:34

you, being roughly twice the size of

23:36

the other two. That

23:38

was probably my most memorable moment, other than

23:40

just watching Mercer do

23:42

his damming because he's so

23:44

ridiculously talented. I mean, it's

23:48

just stupid how good he

23:50

is. Fascinating. You

23:53

said there's a sort of stone hanging from

23:55

the ceiling? There's a five-foot-wide

23:57

kind of somewhat oval... that

24:00

is embedded in the ceiling that appears to

24:02

be giving off this gentle glow. Okay. Is

24:05

it enough to extinguish the torch? Is

24:07

it worth extinguishing the torch? It

24:11

would be considered low light throughout the chamber, so you would be able

24:13

to make out intense detail. And

24:16

the quartz altar, can you explain exactly

24:18

what was in the top

24:20

of the quartz altar? So in the

24:22

quartz altar, you see it's built in a somewhat

24:24

circular fashion. Like right underneath the

24:26

oval? Right underneath the oval. You

24:29

do see three small concave

24:31

insets into the top of this altar.

24:34

Two of which, the ones that are closest to you

24:36

are about the size of, a little larger

24:38

than a fist maybe, that big around. And

24:40

then the one that's furthest from you is about

24:43

that wide, roughly the diameter of the basket. Can

24:45

I, am I allowed to roll

24:48

a, and just say epic, go for a history

24:50

check and see if I recognize this at all

24:52

just by the imagery in the room? Go ahead

24:54

and make a history check. Fine.

24:58

Since we do do this at this one. Eleven.

25:00

Eleven. Yeah. It's

25:02

hard to tell. The obelisks, the

25:06

design is different than

25:08

the rest of the chamber's architecture

25:10

you've noticed. Everything here seems to

25:12

have a very smooth, cylindrical, almost

25:14

gradual natural feel. The obelisks

25:16

are very rigid, and the stone

25:19

appears to be of a different material. Okay,

25:21

so possibly from somebody else than

25:23

whoever built the temple. How big are

25:25

they? They're about eight foot tall and

25:27

about four foot wide each. I'm

25:31

going to gingerly start moving towards

25:34

them looking, checking the ground for

25:37

sigils trapped, just looking around as I slowly

25:39

make my way. Investigation check. I'm not going

25:41

to get under it or anything. I'm going

25:43

to stand right behind Percy. Wow,

25:48

that's a number. Fourteen.

25:51

Fourteen, okay. Very

25:53

carefully stepping in the direction, not

25:56

directly to the altar, which is in the center of these three

25:58

obelisks. Working my way and kind of coil around. You

26:02

do not see any specific markings

26:05

or portions of the ground that would make

26:08

you feel that they would be dangerous or upsetting.

26:11

Stains on the altar? You

26:13

do not see any stains on the altar. The altar itself is

26:15

coated with a very thick layer of dust. In fact, the quartz

26:17

color of it, you can see at

26:20

the base of it, and the top is

26:22

a gentle, dull, gray, brown

26:24

color from the sediment that is gathered. You

26:27

do notice of the obelisks, the face of

26:29

each one that is facing towards the altar,

26:31

does have a very, very mild line across

26:34

the front, a giant square line. I'd like

26:36

to use divine sense. I can sense good

26:38

and evil, type of

26:40

fiend, celestial, undead, or desecration

26:42

or consecration. Okay.

26:47

You can sense any of those creatures, which are

26:49

types? Fiend, celestial,

26:52

undead, and where they

26:54

are. I can also sense desecration and

26:56

consecration, and good and evil. It's coming

26:58

from inside the altar. As

27:01

you take a moment and close your

27:04

eyes, Archon, you project your vision to

27:06

ask for divine inspiration

27:08

via Tiamat, and

27:11

you feel your essence expand through your closed

27:13

eyes into the room in the chamber around

27:15

you. You sense no particular

27:17

source of a fiendish,

27:19

undead, living essence that would

27:21

fall into the spectrum of

27:24

what you can sense. However, desecration

27:27

does strongly emanate from the

27:29

altar in the center of the room. Okay.

27:37

So you don't have a detect magic curse?

27:41

Yes, I do. It comes down to

27:43

me. I can dispel

27:45

magic. I can make an arcana check on

27:48

the altar. Sure,

27:50

go for it. Can I assist him in any

27:52

way? Yeah, sure. Jesus

27:57

Christ. That's cocks. That's

28:01

a 12, that's a 14. Well,

28:03

we'll say it gives you advantage on the check. So go ahead

28:06

and roll a second. Thank God. Come on,

28:08

Paul C. This is the worst

28:10

die in America. Do you

28:12

want another one? I've got a bad one. There

28:14

you go. There you go. This

28:17

is a bad idea. My

28:20

God. So

28:22

what did you roll? What did I roll? Let's just say,

28:24

what is it, an 11? OK. So

28:27

you approach the altar, focusing strongly

28:30

on its make to see the same sort of magical essence

28:32

to it. As you run your fingers along it to feel

28:34

for any hidden grooves or any sort of inset

28:37

glyphs that would mark the presence of an

28:39

enchantment or some sort of element there, you

28:43

hear a sudden boom that

28:46

echoes throughout the chamber. You

28:49

all glance around and you watch as the grooves,

28:52

these square-like insets into each of these obelisks

28:54

suddenly billow with a cloud of dust that

28:56

is set off as they all fall

28:59

inward, slamming onto the ground, sending a cloud

29:02

of dust swirling around you. You instinctually begin

29:04

to cough and step back as

29:06

you watch a series of humanoid figures

29:08

step one out of each of these

29:10

three obelisks. Two appear to be human,

29:12

though their features look

29:15

somewhat serpentine. Their eyes are narrow

29:17

with yellow iris, slit pupils, their

29:19

teeth fanged and sharp. And as

29:22

they step forward, the third one

29:24

across the room opens, as human,

29:26

you watch burly and covered in

29:28

tattoos, thick, dark skin, muscular, and

29:30

where the head would be, one

29:33

large serpentine snake head. So

29:35

good! Need you to

29:37

want to roll a mission. Damn.

29:40

Yeah. Fuck

29:43

yeah. Ooh, that's pretty good. You got

29:45

to be kidding me. That's pretty good. That's

29:48

you, really? That is why you use high dice. My

29:51

dice. Get off these cursed relics of the cursed dice

29:54

of Wheaton. The cursed dice of Wheaton. Right.

29:59

All right. I know why they bother to put money on

30:01

it. So, all one. 19,

30:04

one, and one, five. 20

30:06

for the headmistress. Nice. All

30:09

righty. Three. Three. Oh.

30:12

Sorry. I'm just going to kick back and watch

30:14

everybody. You paid us good money.

30:16

We'll do our work. We'll do our deck

30:18

service. Do what? Plus your initiative. Whoa!

30:21

Hey. That's a 20 on the risk of an initiative

30:24

roll. There's a plot twist. Imagine that. I'll

30:31

give this to you right after this. 17 for me. Yeah.

30:35

That's pretty good. First. All righty. So,

30:37

as soon as the dust begins to

30:39

settle, the glow still coming from the

30:41

ceiling, you watch these creatures begin to

30:43

stumble out. They immediately draw

30:45

all these scimitar blades from their side. At

30:47

the very top of the round, DuPont, you were the first to

30:49

react. What are you doing? I'd like to pull my crossbow and

30:51

shoot the snake man in the face. Go for it, you bird

30:54

guy. Go ahead and roll an attack. Come

30:57

on. See? Oh, Jesus. That's

31:01

plus my dexterity. That's

31:03

a seven. That's a seven. I

31:05

don't think that. No, no, plus seven. Excuse me.

31:08

Plus seven. That's a 10. A

31:10

10, OK. As you watch

31:12

this creature emerge, you instinctually pull out your

31:14

crossbow to fire. But seeing such a terrible

31:16

entity that resembles you of a time in

31:18

your childhood, you remember being bit by a

31:20

snake, and the pain of the poison still

31:22

pulses through your hand. Though memory and knowledge

31:24

there, you suddenly realize snakes are scary. And

31:26

as you go to fire, your hand shakes

31:29

ever so slightly and the crossbow fires wide.

31:31

You see it splinter against one of the

31:33

nearby pillars unaffected. God. Blast.

31:36

If I had to summarize just a

31:39

core theme for DuPont, it would just

31:41

be failure. The

31:43

freedom to fail repeatedly, constantly, in spite

31:45

of all probability. It's like he was

31:47

spitting in the face of luck itself

31:50

and then falling on his face because

31:52

he slipped in his own spit. All

31:55

right, then into DuPont. Are you going to stay where you are? I'd

31:57

like to move back. About 10 feet. Okay,

32:00

so you retreat further into the back of the

32:02

beginning of the chamber. All right, that brings us

32:04

to Headmistress. All right, who am I closest to?

32:06

Am I close to him at all? You

32:09

could get close to the snake-headed individual,

32:11

although you are pretty close to two

32:13

of the other more humanoid creatures,

32:16

and one of them would get a strike on you should you rush past.

32:21

Can I grab the two of them? Okay, I'm gonna go for it

32:23

here. Can I grab the two of them, smash

32:25

your heads together, knock them out, and throw them at the beast?

32:28

You can certainly try. Yay! Headmistress!

32:31

So as the Headmistress ducks down and goes into

32:33

a full sprint, she darts right between the two

32:35

creatures as they're beginning to pinch her towards the

32:37

two of you. You and

32:40

Dupont, who has backed away, you go ahead and reach out

32:42

to grab both of them. Go ahead and roll an attack.

32:45

Okay. Come

32:47

on. Good. Where

32:49

am I looking here? It's B plus your attack

32:52

modifier there. Oh, 16, so 17, 18, 19, 20, 20, 20, 23. Okay,

32:56

roll the second attack. God, that's good. Plus

33:01

7, 19. Yep. Both of

33:03

those hits, so go ahead and roll damage twice. Nice. Yeah.

33:06

2d6 plus 8. Gosh.

33:08

Do you need more d6s? Uh,

33:11

yeah. Yeah, I know. Thanks, guys.

33:13

Plus 8? Plus 8. Well,

33:17

you might be actually watching. Oh, plus 1. There you

33:19

go. I'm just trash-rassing. Oh, gosh.

33:22

All right, 6 plus, great. So 14 points

33:25

of damage. Well,

33:27

it should be 2. It should be 2. So

33:29

6 and 8 to 1. So

33:33

you reach out, grab both of them by the

33:36

front of their ceremonial robes, pull back and whack!

33:38

Sand them both together. Their heads crack, impacting on

33:40

both of them. You hear this, ahh, hiss as

33:42

they both retract from the pain. Feeling

33:45

the grasp on them, they're both pretty

33:47

heavy. Yeah. And knowing in that moment that

33:50

your strength is not quite being strong enough to chuck them, you

33:52

can then progress if you want to use your bonus action

33:54

however you see fit. Oh,

33:56

one of these? Yes. I'm

34:05

going to take my flurry of blows and

34:08

are these two guys knocked out then? No, they're

34:10

stronger than you thought they were. They're still

34:12

standing. They're hurt, but it looks like they

34:14

are unhappy with the current circumstance. I'm going

34:16

to shove them over to Dan. No, I'm

34:18

just kidding. You're still with it. Deal

34:20

with it. I'm

34:22

going to use

34:25

my flurry of blows

34:27

against the two of them. So one attack each

34:29

since I've got two additional attacks. So you use a

34:31

three point, you attack them both one more time. Two

34:33

more attacks. Two more, okay. I'm going to need

34:36

20. Oh, sorry. See if it hits. Oh,

34:38

shit. All right, six

34:41

plus seven. That still hits. Roll

34:44

your second strike. Nice. Fifth

34:46

level. Fifth level. Fourteen.

34:48

Yeah, both hits. Go ahead and roll 2d6s

34:50

once more. God

34:54

damn. That's

34:57

minus ten. Six.

35:00

So after you knock them both their heads together, you

35:02

get down and then do a jumping spin kick. Wack,

35:05

wack. Clocking them both in the head in a

35:07

full hurricane kick reuse style attack. As

35:10

you land, they're both looking a

35:12

bit dazed, but aggressively looking like they're ready to bear

35:14

down on you with their scimitars. You

35:16

still have movement if you want to get away, but they'll both get a strike on

35:18

you. Oh, come on. Or

35:22

you want to stay put and just fend them off as they come.

35:25

Just flex on them. I'm going to stay

35:28

put. Stay in put. All righty, staying put. What? That

35:31

brings us to healing. Okay, how

35:33

far away is Snake

35:35

Creature? The head. Yeah.

35:38

From you currently, from where you're standing, about 50 feet?

35:42

About 50 feet. Let

35:45

me go ahead and I'm going to

35:47

move up a little bit. Okay. I'm

35:50

going to cast Fairy Fire over where the Snake Creature is.

35:52

No one else is really around her, right? Currently,

35:55

no. Perfect. You don't have to go

35:57

to the creature? No. Yeah.

36:00

Is there any way that I could also

36:02

get the humanoids and the cusp too? I

36:04

don't want to get headmistress though. How big is the

36:06

space on Faerie Fire? 20 feet. 20 feet? You

36:10

might be able to get one, not both. You're gonna have to angle the

36:12

cube at a point to catch the cube. Okay, I'll get another one.

36:14

You have a cube that shoots Faerie Fire? I

36:17

have a Faerie, yeah, it's like

36:19

the Tesseract, but it's a sparkle

36:21

bomb. Yeah. All right, it's like Groot,

36:23

third act. Stick to it. Are you saving throw from

36:26

both? What's your spell DC? It's

36:30

been a while, she's under the attacks area.

36:33

Oh, you put it under the attacks. Oh, 16. Wait,

36:36

so it'll be at four right here. Nope. And

36:38

no, they both fail their dexterity saving throws.

36:41

Cool bomb. As Keyleth takes a few steps forward,

36:43

the light in the central chamber kind of blowing

36:46

on her form, she puts her hands out and

36:48

as she extends her fingers, you watch a burst

36:50

of purplish, druid nature

36:52

energy just scatter out like a burst

36:54

of glitter as it coalesces around

36:56

the form of these two creatures. It sinks

36:59

to them. And as it does, you

37:01

see bright purple light emit from them, making them both

37:03

shining targets for anybody that wishes to strike them. So

37:05

all attacks against them have advantage. Time.

37:09

I love Faerie Fire, by the way. It's

37:11

a great spell, but yeah,

37:14

that was all. She kind of just went, you

37:18

guys, you guys go. Yeah,

37:21

that was it. Yeah, it was

37:23

just like a Michael's craft store

37:26

disaster. That's all I was, this is

37:28

good. Alrighty, for as

37:30

long as she maintains concentration. So Keyleth, that ends your turn?

37:33

Yes, I'm now going to kind of step back a

37:35

little bit towards Dupont. Okay.

37:38

Hello. So the

37:40

first of the two more human of the creatures takes its

37:42

turn. The one that

37:44

got bludgeoned by you and

37:46

is not affected by Faerie Fire is going to attempt

37:49

to strike at you with Scimitar twice. That

37:52

is a 14 to hit. What's your armor class? Which

37:56

armor class? 17. You

37:58

watch the blade come wide and... piece of duck

38:00

low. Second strike

38:02

does hit you. I got a

38:04

question. I have an invasion. When an attack requires

38:07

a dexterity saving throw, you only take half damage

38:09

instead to take no damage? Correct, that's the only

38:11

thing that affects the damage you require. Well,

38:13

shh. That's all

38:15

good. I tried. You

38:18

do suffer seven points

38:20

of damage from the scimitar striking you.

38:22

Okay. So

38:28

what is that? Alrighty. The other one

38:30

is going to rush towards you to

38:32

pawns. That is a 12

38:34

to hit. What's your armor class? Sixteen. Six.

38:36

This one rushes past. You do get

38:39

an attack opportunity if you want to punch the one that's rushing. Yeah,

38:41

I'll take that. Punch him! I'm going to punch him.

38:44

Use yours. You got to roll the 20. Wait, the

38:46

20, right? Yeah. Uh, 10. That'll

38:49

hit. Go ahead and roll 1d6. That's four.

38:53

Just one. Plus

38:56

four, though. That actually kills that

38:58

one. As

39:02

it goes rushing towards the pawn, you watch as it darts off. You spin

39:04

around and clock at the back of the head with a back fist.

39:07

As you do, you watch just going conscious and go

39:09

face down to the ground, spinning in the dust. Perfect.

39:12

So that ends that one against you. That one's

39:14

finished there. No attack. That brings us to Percival.

39:18

Alright, I'm going to spin

39:20

around to the giant creature that just got hit by a

39:22

fairy fire. Jesus Christ. Drop and

39:24

shit. And drop a pencil. Leave

39:26

the head on one of them. I'm going to want

39:29

to dissect it later. And I'm going to stick the

39:31

torch in the ground with my bonus action and take

39:33

two shots at the heart of the big creature.

39:36

Slow it down. You're going to be underneath shots. Oh

39:38

yeah. Oh, in that case, I've got a fancy. I'm

39:40

going to use a fancy. Double. So shot number one.

39:43

Natural 20 on both rolls. Nice.

39:46

What? He's a

39:49

witch. Natural 20 on

39:51

both rolls. Okay,

39:54

so I may have, I may have

39:56

had advantage on a shot thanks to some

39:58

fairy fire that Keyleth. through

40:00

and I may have rolled two natural 20s

40:03

on, I've never had that happen

40:05

before. I feel like I should, that should be

40:07

something. I feel like I may, I may

40:09

make a little plaque or something. That felt

40:11

very good. It's all downhill from

40:14

here. Life is downhill from here. Okay, that was the

40:16

first shot. I feel like, okay, I feel like I

40:18

should get a, I wanna bonus

40:20

die in our other game. Just

40:22

for that one? I just wanna, I just wanna, you

40:24

rolled enough 20s, fine, fair point. Okay, what was the

40:27

second attack? And second attack. Do

40:29

it again, do it again. Do it again. Does

40:32

not happen, it's still a great, it's

40:34

26 for the other one. Both hit. They're ahead

40:36

and roll damage for the first strike. Okay,

40:39

and that's double die? Double dice, yeah.

40:41

Wow, this is adorable. And

40:45

that's seven, that's

40:47

12 points for the first hit. All

40:50

righty. And 14 points

40:53

for the other one. Nice.

40:56

This is against the larger snake head danger. He watches

40:58

the gunfire. That goes loudly, causing

41:01

this burst of fire and smoke at the front of the barrel.

41:04

Both of these wounds sink into the chest of the

41:06

creature. The blood spooled out

41:08

of both parts of the impact. I

41:13

am, yes. That's what I saw. What did you see? I

41:15

mean, no, yeah, that was a descriptive turn. I'm

41:17

gonna suddenly realize that I'm very tiny, I'm

41:19

gonna slowly start backing up after doing that,

41:21

and I realize that I'm a big target.

41:24

All right, that ends your go is now

41:26

the snake creature's turn. You

41:29

watch now, it's lower torso, which was currently blocked

41:31

by the dust. You see it's also serpentine. It

41:33

just has the upper torso of humanoids. It

41:36

marks its way around, and actually

41:38

seeing you as the most dangerous entity in the room

41:40

goes heading in your direction, Archon. I'm flattered. It's

41:44

gonna go for a bite attack against you. That is a natural

41:46

20. You'll be fine, you'll

41:48

be fine. I'm in fine. I'm having with a 20, I'm

41:50

having with a 20. He's

41:53

immediately like, this is your fault. This is a balance

41:55

point. I'll see if you entirely my fault. I'm actually

41:57

happy about that. I'll tell you why in a second.

42:01

Okay, so you take, that is

42:03

nine points of piercing damage. And

42:08

seven points of poison damage as the fangs dig into

42:10

the side of your scales and you feel it pulls

42:12

through your blood system. Okay.

42:16

And it's going to go ahead and take a swing of the scimitars,

42:18

it backs up as well. That is going to be a 21 to

42:20

hit. I have a 21

42:22

armor class. It just barely strikes you! What?

42:28

With seven points of slashing damage as it streaks across the

42:30

front of your armor, you see the sparks go

42:32

flying off in the metal on metal clash. Not

42:34

enough to actually physically wound you, but enough to

42:36

at least push you back and wind you slightly.

42:38

Okay. Now it's your turn. Now he's officially pissed

42:41

me off. Well actually, he hit me and I'd

42:43

like the Hellish rebuke. Nice.

42:46

So I'm going to point my finger and

42:48

the creature that damaged me is momentarily surrounded

42:51

by Hellish flames. The creature must make a

42:53

dexterity saving throw. It

42:55

will take 2x10 fire damage on a failed save,

42:57

half as much on a success roll. Well,

43:00

it rolled a 9 on its DC,

43:02

so I don't think it succeeds. So

43:06

go ahead and roll damage on that. 2x10? I

43:08

love Hellish reboots. I love Hellish reboots. So

43:10

good. You just fucked with the wrong

43:13

guy. Stop it. Yeah. We

43:15

can take a fuck on the internet. Yeah, yeah. I've

43:18

said it about this past times already. That's the whole

43:20

point of the internet. Heck yeah. Okay,

43:22

great. That's going to be 12

43:24

points of fire damage. Nice.

43:27

Alrighty. And now it's your turn. Now

43:29

it's my turn. As it rushes up, you

43:31

throw your hand out in front and watch as

43:33

flames suddenly burst around his body. The

43:36

infernal energy granted to you by T and Matt

43:38

causing the front of his torso to suddenly be

43:40

singed. It lands right in front of you, you

43:42

know, pulls back to go for another strike. What

43:44

are you doing? Okay, I'm going to swing Bone

43:46

Cleaver, my battle axe. Go for it. That's like

43:51

literally on the arm. Yeah, go ahead and roll again. It's

43:53

Cocktock. Cocktock? Yeah, it's just

43:55

fun to say. Cocktock. Cocktock. I

43:57

heard Cocktock. Again!

44:01

Another Cock-Dock. Try that again. Alright, let me

44:03

try it. Okay,

44:06

that's going to be a 13. 13

44:11

still hits, even with a 4. And

44:13

I'm going to tack on Divine Smite.

44:15

Divine Smite, so additional 2d8. Nice.

44:19

Okay. So that would be 2d8 plus

44:27

another. Could

44:29

I borrow a diet first? Yeah. Probably one

44:31

of those. Here. How

44:33

about that? Okay. Actually,

44:40

yeah, no, sorry. I don't give

44:42

a shit. My bad. Get out of here! 6,

44:48

11, 14 plus... That's

44:55

going to be 25 points a day.

44:59

Wow, Jesus. Alright,

45:03

so as you arc down with your Bone Cleaver Axe,

45:06

you watch as the energy that splits off the

45:08

front of the blade starting white passes through all

45:11

the chromatic colors as Tiamat's anger now forces itself

45:13

to the blade as well. It smacks into the

45:15

chest as a snake creature. As it does, the

45:17

ribcage seems to crack before it even touches the

45:20

blade. The energy actually separating the flesh and bone.

45:22

You hear it screech out

45:24

into the cavern air as you

45:26

bisect it in half before the forceps and

45:28

it slumps to the ground, no longer moving.

45:31

Yes! You

45:33

do still have movement in another attack. How far am I from

45:35

the other guy? You're about 10

45:37

feet from him. Perfect. Okay, let's go for

45:39

it. Alrighty, you rush up

45:41

to the last standing humanoid snake individual.

45:43

Cutie, cutie. No

45:45

cocktail. 18

45:48

plus 9, that's 27. 27,

45:54

go for all damage. Okay.

45:57

This one has already been punched to shit by

45:59

our monk. And

46:10

with that, as this other creature has been

46:12

herring the monk, you rush up and just

46:14

cleave its head off at an angle, taking

46:17

off part of the shoulder as it turns

46:19

around just in time to implement

46:22

to the ground, no longer moving. How's the

46:24

stander here going? I

46:28

think I'm feeling that poison. I saw a bunch of lights

46:30

and everything turned into a fine red mist. No,

46:33

that actually happened, you bunt. What?

46:36

I know! The chamber shudders once

46:38

more. Nothing useful. You watch as the convex

46:40

sections on the altar all of a sudden

46:42

begin to fill with the green fluid with

46:44

each death of these creatures. As

46:46

they all come to fruition, you watch

46:48

as the altar shudders and begins to

46:50

lower below. You kind of

46:53

stem up and look off the side and you watch.

46:55

There's a cylindrical chamber below with four additional pillars that

46:57

travel about 60 feet down to the base. Looks

47:01

like the interior there is pitch black, however, as

47:03

it just dissipates beyond the glowing light of the

47:05

stone above you. I'd like

47:07

to peer into the darkness and make a perception

47:09

check. Before

47:12

you do that, I'm going to pray to Tiamat

47:14

to heal 13 points of my damage. You're

47:18

going to have to use hit dice. Yeah, I can use your hit dice

47:20

to heal yourself, so you can just use a couple

47:22

of those. Nothing

47:25

salvageable in any of those bodies. Wait, what

47:27

am I doing? Currently, no. Other than the

47:29

scimitars they had, unfortunately, they weren't really dressed

47:31

for a night out. I wanted to make

47:33

boots. Sorry, we'll take the scoops. Yes. Okay.

47:37

Jeez. Two. Right,

47:44

so two. So

47:47

two plus two is four. Oh yeah? There

47:50

you go. Nice.

47:53

Stay. All right, as you guys complete

47:55

your rest, take a moment to bandage your wounds. take

48:00

the essence of what you have at your disposal,

48:02

the darkened chamber lies below you. Over

48:06

a short time, you manage to find your way to the

48:08

base using whatever rope and items you

48:10

have at your disposal and your general traveling pack. Down

48:13

inside, you now see those strange symbols

48:15

that you saw scrolled on the roll

48:18

earlier completely surround this chamber from top

48:20

to bottom. It is just an endless

48:22

display of these abyssal

48:25

symbols and sigils. Sigils.

48:30

And again. Well,

48:32

that's not gonna say anything. I know. It's the abyssal

48:35

pronunciation you'd know if you studied it. It's

48:37

an antiquated pronunciation. It's the boy of

48:39

the abyss. The abyssal of the boy. It's

48:41

like Barcelona. Barcelona.

48:44

The king says it's Sigil. So.

48:48

City of Doris, guys. The

48:51

somewhat cool air of the chamber suddenly grows chilled

48:53

and you all witness as the air begins

48:55

to shimmer in an apparition of a white-haired

48:57

mature woman and crimson, sleeveless robes appears, drifting

49:00

roughly 10 feet above you in the room.

49:03

Well, hello there. Roflakuzma.

49:08

Milady. I

49:11

like to use the fine sense. Good,

49:15

evil, fiend, celestial, undead, desecrated. You

49:17

do get the essence of undead

49:19

strongly from this entity. As

49:23

the apparition floats there above, you see it stare

49:25

down and saying, the voice seemed

49:27

to emanate from a sourceless place in

49:29

the air around you. You

49:32

enter here and beyond the domain

49:34

of the serpent. You

49:37

wander these hallowed halls at the behest

49:39

of the scaled tyrant and

49:42

you are not welcome. What

49:45

business have you in our next

49:47

team chamber? Oh

49:51

jeez. There's so many. There's

49:54

gonna be so many. If you have any

49:56

questions, go ahead, because I'm about to pull

49:58

something out of it. the hat, unless

50:01

you want to ask her a question first. I'm

50:04

just hoping we live to get paid

50:06

at the moment. We were told to

50:09

retrieve Hestina Aguilera's treasure. LAUGHTER

50:14

Roll a constitution saving throw. Thank you. Oh,

50:17

you're getting punished. OK.

50:22

You watch as the spirit turns, the eyes that were

50:24

suddenly went from a cold darkness

50:26

to a bright, vibrant white, lock on a

50:28

DuPont, raises a hand, and suddenly you feel

50:30

this dark energy cascade through your body as

50:32

your muscles suddenly wither and you fall to

50:35

one knee. You are weakened at

50:37

the moment. It's

50:39

DuPont. I feel like this is something, do you

50:43

know who this is? How

50:45

big is this room? It's about

50:47

25 feet across on all sides. It's cylindrical.

50:49

OK. I'm going to attempt to control

50:51

the undead. OK.

50:54

Up to 30 feet to wisdom save. Wisdom

50:56

save. This will be interesting. That

50:59

is a 12. What did you spell,

51:01

DC? Ooh. Come

51:04

on. I'm pretty sure it's a 13. Oh,

51:07

nice. She

51:09

was mine for 24 hours. It's a good thing

51:11

I distracted her. Five

51:13

point 20. I jumped you, because of you.

51:17

The spirit's hand drops. The

51:22

weakened curse still crackling through your dwarven friend,

51:24

but the eyes go from the vibrant, bright,

51:26

burning white to a dull blue as the

51:29

head turns towards you. I

51:32

am the caregiver. Long

51:35

watching the cloaked serpent's children

51:37

sleep until our epoch

51:39

begins, I am

51:41

at your service. Damn.

51:46

We've heard there's something of great value in

51:50

this vault. Take

51:52

us to it. You

51:54

watch as the eyes, the blue, turns

51:56

to a dark purple, and you feel

51:58

the essence reaching. just past your

52:01

brow, and it would

52:03

bother you if you didn't know that this

52:05

creature was bound to your surface, through your

52:07

divine chains. As

52:09

it withdraws, I see

52:13

the Golden Wraith. The

52:17

ghost seems to snap the fingers and you hear rustling

52:19

chains from above in the darkness at the top of

52:21

the chamber in a slight sneer. The

52:26

wind begins to kick up and the sand and

52:28

dust of the room swirls around you. You guard

52:30

your eyes momentarily as you watch a large winged

52:32

creature land on the ground.

52:34

You see its long muscular lion-like body

52:37

combined with two giant other wings, the

52:39

head humanoid with a jaw, wide open

52:41

drooling with rows and rows of teeth.

52:44

And there around its throat, you see the

52:46

large golden, foreign greek of gems that you saw

52:48

in your dreep. The creature that's

52:50

chained, dangling in broken turns, snarls,

52:54

but the ghost holds its hand up. Take

52:57

your charge. I

53:02

approach the creature. And

53:08

I take the wreath from around its neck. As

53:11

your hands reach out and touch, you watch its

53:13

eyes, the side of it's sliding

53:16

close and open. It growls. But

53:21

it does not seem to assault

53:23

or attack. As you pull the wreath from

53:26

around its neck, it withdraws a few feet.

53:32

I place the wreath around my neck. As

53:35

you set it down, the

53:38

spirit begins to grin and you feel

53:40

suddenly the thorns, much like the device

53:42

that entered this temple, extend and

53:45

pierce into the sides of your throat, your clavicle,

53:47

some of it actually going past the neck armor.

53:52

You suffer 12 points of

53:55

piercing damage, but you

53:57

feel also at the same time this cold

53:59

essence curl over your spine. As

54:02

it does, you close your eyes and open them, and the

54:04

colors of the chamber are twice

54:07

as vibrant. You look around, and each

54:09

of your compatriots, you can actually see

54:11

the essence of warmth off their body.

54:13

LAURA and SAM rashen it gives you snake eyes. MATT

54:15

and SAM rashen you glance around and turn, and you guys

54:17

look and you can see the eyes of your companion,

54:21

Archon, now have even

54:23

a further confirmed genuine black

54:25

slit. A greenish yellow

54:27

color within them, and the gemstones begin

54:30

to pulse as you feel the energy

54:32

of Tiamat glow within each section of

54:34

the wreath, and as it does, the

54:36

strength fills you and your breath grows

54:38

warmer. The air seems more

54:41

alive and you feel rejuvenated, instilled

54:43

with the essence of your deity. SAM

54:45

and TALIESIN, do I feel out of control at all?

54:48

MATT and TALIESIN, you feel in control.

54:51

You're not fully aware of what has

54:53

been imparted upon you. But

54:55

I don't feel a compulsion to

54:57

attack anyone in my party. No. Okay?

54:59

Oh, thank god. Oh shit! Do

55:03

I sense that there's any sort of control over

55:06

this creature, or is the creature

55:08

through this undead

55:11

that I've taken control of? Oh, so you turn towards

55:13

and exert your will on the manticore? Yes.

55:16

Okay. As you go ahead and focus towards

55:18

it. The

55:22

creature, its giant spiked

55:25

tail, swinging behind it, comes up

55:27

towards you and lowers

55:29

its head right below you to the ground.

55:33

I get on its back. Shh!

55:35

You're onto grabbing the chain that has

55:37

dangled around its throat as it

55:39

lifts up now, fully its torso in front.

55:42

You watch as Ar'khan now stands amongst his

55:44

manticore mount. I'm

55:46

jealous. Okay. There

55:51

were a number of situations that were handled

55:53

in ways I didn't expect. For one, the manticore was

55:55

intended to be an actual boss encounter once they had

55:58

talked to and spurred the ire

56:00

of the ghosts or proven

56:03

worthy to try and earn the use of this

56:05

thorn wreath. However, I

56:08

didn't consider the Oathbreaker paladin being able to control

56:10

undead to roll just under

56:13

the DC for the spell and then command it

56:15

to present it to him. So that

56:17

was a perfect example

56:19

of why I love D&D. I feel like you

56:22

got your money's worth, good sir. So I

56:24

just get poisoned? He gets a manticore? You

56:28

got a door, you're just going to have to figure out how

56:30

to get it home. We also got like a

56:32

few hundred gold pieces. Just snake blood?

56:35

Yeah. Now in terms of the

56:37

rest of the mission, is there someone waiting

56:39

for this wreath? No.

56:41

The divine images. These are

56:43

in to just retrieve this. You have nothing that's come

56:45

to you before. So I had these dreams, these visions.

56:47

Yes. And here I am sitting on

56:49

top of a manticore. Yep. In

56:52

control of a ghost? For the

56:54

next 24 hours. Let's

56:56

party. Dreams

56:59

do come true. But

57:01

for me the big highlight was I

57:04

controlled the undead. I mean I wound up

57:07

controlling this specter that

57:12

had control of the manticore. So

57:15

because of that, I

57:17

then was able to take the wreath off the manticores and I

57:19

could stuck it on my neck which initially I thought it was

57:22

going to kill me. But

57:24

after the initial bleeding, I

57:26

took control of this beast. So it was kind

57:28

of a weird, like

57:31

lucky roll, weird

57:34

sort of string of abilities and then wound up

57:36

with this great beast. So this

57:38

is definitely a memorable one. Oh and

57:40

also I'd be headed to the Yantee

57:43

serpent people. So that was fun.

57:45

Let's not forget about that. They're taking

57:47

some in for me. How many people can fit

57:50

on the back of a manticore? Actually

57:53

thankfully you have a rather

57:55

diminutive and lightweight

57:57

party. You can uncomfortably get your

57:59

compatriots. onto the back of the creature. As

58:01

it lifts up, its wings

58:03

flapping. It slams into the stone of the ceiling as

58:05

the chamber entrance for the altar was not quite large

58:12

enough to get all of you through, but

58:16

it does manage to break through the stone from

58:18

underneath. As it coasts

58:20

up, it travels down the hallway of

58:22

which you guys came, bursting out from

58:24

under the front doorway, leading out to

58:27

the sunlight of the Angkor-el Desert. Over

58:31

at the sands, the warmth of the

58:33

sunlight is welcome as you now look the

58:35

spiritual entity trailing behind you, trying to keep

58:37

up as there are little heads

58:39

on top of the manticore. SAM and MARISHA, LAURA,

58:41

and SAM. Spring break, 12-13! TALIESIN

58:44

and MATT. We're going to look for another! TALIESIN and MATT.

58:46

If you're only half-five, you're going to have to take a

58:48

lift or something. I'm sorry. Sorry. We'll see you there. It'll

58:50

be great. MATT and

58:52

with that, you've found the

58:55

attributed artifact sent in your

58:57

way by Tiamat and apparently a new friend.

59:00

TALIESIN and MARISHA and LAURA.

59:03

Yay! MATT and MARISHA.

59:05

Well done. That was unexpected.

59:08

TALIESIN and SAM. Most of the others in manticores don't

59:10

go that well. MATT and TALIESIN.

59:12

No, that was a completely bypass boss fight

59:14

there. TALIESIN and MARISHA. Oh, really? Yeah. MATT

59:16

and TALIESIN. No, you could control undead. I

59:19

feel like you basically got the how do you want to do

59:21

this. MATT and TALIESIN.

59:23

Essentially. But the friendly, awful. I want

59:25

to hug it out. It's going to

59:27

be great.

59:30

Hug it out. Well done. MATT

59:32

and TALIESIN. Yay! MATT

59:35

and TALIESIN. As Archon and his mercenary companions

59:37

carefully ride the manticore over the hot desert

59:39

sands of Marquet, what does

59:41

the future hold for keeping such a monstrosity

59:43

under control? And what

59:45

is the essence of this artifact that Tiamat has

59:47

brought Archon to? Talmor

1:00:00

is my home. My

1:00:05

family have worked the land for

1:00:07

generations. My

1:00:10

gran says the island does not belong

1:00:12

to us, but we belong to the

1:00:14

island. And

1:00:16

we must be ready. For

1:00:19

a great evil is coming. And

1:00:22

death follows with it. Listen

1:00:27

and subscribe to the latest season of

1:00:29

Undertow, The Harrowing, a storyglass production presented

1:00:31

by Realm, available wherever you get your

1:00:33

podcasts. Hi,

1:00:37

I'm Alexis Ohanian. You

1:00:39

may know me as one of the co-founders of Reddit, but

1:00:41

more recently, a large part of my identity

1:00:44

is being a father to my two wonderful

1:00:46

daughters. In my

1:00:48

podcast, Business Dad, I'm hoping to open

1:00:50

up the conversation about balancing careers and

1:00:52

family. The one

1:00:54

thing I constantly hear successful people say,

1:00:57

without fail, is that they wish they'd

1:00:59

spent more time with their kids. That's

1:01:01

time no one can get back. So

1:01:03

I decided to create Business Dad, to engage

1:01:05

in the conversation about how we're spending our

1:01:07

time now, providing a forum for

1:01:10

successful dads to share their joys and

1:01:12

challenges of being a working parent.

1:01:15

You'll get to hear from a wide range

1:01:17

of business dads, from Rainn Wilson and Guy

1:01:19

Roz to Todd Carmichael and Shane

1:01:21

Batier. And while this

1:01:23

podcast will talk about business and

1:01:25

will definitely be featuring dads, I

1:01:28

think everyone can learn something from

1:01:30

these incredible conversations as we unpack

1:01:32

the expectations we all have about

1:01:34

careers, relationships, and ourselves. Business

1:01:38

Dad is available now, so be

1:01:40

sure to listen and subscribe wherever you get

1:01:42

your podcasts.