32:00

was a disciplinary aspect that those

32:02

kids know. 12 years in business,

32:04

not one incident, with multiple gangs

32:06

all coming to train at the

32:08

same time. Multiple teams who

32:11

hate each other, who are on

32:13

Instagram and Snapchat threatening each other

32:16

and there were incidents outside of the gym where

32:18

there was violence, not one incident in the gym.

32:20

And I'm proud of that, but I also knew

32:22

that that came from the discipline we instilled in

32:24

them. And the reason why I'm prefacing

32:27

that, why when I tell the story is because

32:29

this young man came to me and he was

32:31

in high school and he was

32:33

always late. And

32:35

I'm just like, yo, what, like you can't get

32:37

right. Like you have to be here on time.

32:39

And then when he would come on time, he

32:41

would like forget his book or something. And it

32:43

was always something. And I was big on being

32:45

detail oriented and being accountable and responsible. So I'm

32:47

screaming at him and everyone has to run because

32:49

of him and it got to the point where

32:51

other people was like, yo, just don't come if

32:53

you're gonna be late because we all gotta run.

32:56

He came every single day, even

32:59

on days when he wasn't supposed to be there because we

33:02

had six days a week training. Everyone

33:05

was responsible to come three days a week. He

33:07

came all six days, remember that. He

33:10

came all six days, right? So

33:12

now it gets to a point where I sit down with

33:14

him and I'm like, you know, you promised me you got

33:17

to be here on time, da, da, da, da. He says

33:19

yes, the next week he comes late twice. I scream at

33:21

him, I curse at him like a coach does, get out,

33:23

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he doesn't argue, he

33:25

just leaves. But then he comes back

33:27

the next day. And I'm

33:29

like, yo, I told you not to come back. You can't get

33:32

here on time. I said, what's the problem? He

33:34

said, to be honest, Coach Duval, when

33:36

I get out of school, I have to go

33:38

get my, man, this is

33:40

even like thinking about it. It's like, he's

33:45

a high school. He had to get his eight

33:47

year old sister who went to school in Marine

33:49

Park. They only had one

33:52

swipe on their bus pass to

33:54

get home. He would run from

33:56

his school in East New

33:59

York. to Marine

34:01

Park and him and his sister would

34:03

run to the gym. I

34:06

said this whole time, your sister's here? Where's

34:09

your sister? First of all, that's wild. Running from

34:11

East New York to Marine Park is wild. He

34:14

used to run down flatlands, run down flatlands,

34:16

get to Ralph Avenue, get to Marine Park,

34:18

pick his sister up, run back

34:21

to Packplex. Right, because it was right

34:23

at, okay. And that's why he was always late. I said, why

34:25

didn't you tell me? He was like, you said you don't take no

34:27

excuses. And I'm like. I

34:31

said, that's not even an excuse. That's your

34:33

reality. Right. So then he gets

34:35

there. I said, where's your sister? Right?

34:39

I said, why didn't you tell me your sister was here?

34:41

He said, you told me we couldn't

34:43

bring any young ladies with us. I

34:46

said, yeah, no girlfriends. I didn't

34:48

want anyone bringing girlfriends. You know

34:50

what I'm saying? Right, right. So then he brings his sister.

34:52

I see the young girl and I'm like, you used

34:54

to run for Marine Park here. She

34:57

was just like, yeah, but it wasn't bad. Sometimes

34:59

we just try not to get hit by

35:01

cars and stuff. But I'm like, oh my

35:03

gosh, bro. I felt so bad. Right. You

35:05

know what I'm saying? Here's where it tripped me out though.

35:09

He would get in

35:11

trouble for staying late. If he did get there

35:14

on time, I totally had to be out of

35:16

the building by eight o'clock. Because my biggest issue

35:18

is if it gets dark and you're traveling now

35:20

late, then something will happen.

35:23

It would be 8.39 o'clock. He's still

35:25

in there and I'm screaming at him, right? I said,

35:27

why did you stay late? If you knew you had

35:29

your sister here, we have

35:31

no electricity in the house. The only way I

35:33

can charge my phone and she

35:35

can finish her homework is if we stayed here

35:37

and we used the electricity. Bruh.

35:41

Weeping, okay. When I tell you, man, I felt

35:43

so bad. But here's the crazy part. I met

35:45

his mom. The

35:48

hardest working, sweet,

35:51

most nicest person. And the reason why

35:53

he was the way he was, especially

35:56

with his sister and those pieces was because

35:58

of who his mom was. because

36:00

he could have easily been a little shit and he

36:02

could have came in with a bad attitude. I had

36:05

a bunch of little shit. I know. With

36:07

single moms. Yeah, yeah. I had a bunch of little

36:09

shits with both day parents. Right. And

36:12

this kid, when I tell you he graduated, got

36:15

a scholarship, went to school, got his degree, he's

36:17

now working. When I tell

36:19

you every time he hits me up on Instagram was like,

36:21

yo, Coach D, I see you doing your thing, none of

36:23

that, I'm like, no, I see you doing your thing. Oh

36:25

my gosh. And now guess what his sister does? But

36:29

she runs track. She runs

36:31

track. I was like, let

36:33

me get, let me, she runs track. She runs

36:35

track, man. She's in school now. She's gonna

36:37

grab it from school. She got a degree. And the best

36:40

part about it is, no, she didn't get

36:42

a track scholarship to go to USC. And

36:44

no, but she got her degree paid for. Yeah.

36:46

And she's running track and they're just good kids.

36:48

Right. And the product of a good mom. The

36:50

product of a good mom. Who's just doing the

36:52

best that she can probably. And yeah. To make

36:55

ends meet. Yeah. And my ex-ster, you know,

36:57

what happened to their dad and her dad passed away.

36:59

The dad passed away. So they seemed

37:02

like they were just a really, really good family. And

37:04

the dad passed away and she was required to just

37:06

take care of everything. And she was doing the best

37:08

that she could. She had just got

37:10

her nursing degree. So she was picking up a

37:12

bunch of hours to be able to pay for

37:14

everything. But they lived right there in Bayview projects.

37:18

And I was just like, like

37:20

for me, it was just like, like it

37:22

was eye-opening about how important it is to have,

37:25

for a young man to have their mom. Because

37:27

I seen, when her mom, when

37:30

their mom came, cause I called her, I said, hey, I'm

37:32

gonna keep your kids with me. I'm

37:34

not gonna let them walk or get

37:36

to the bus or do everything. Not Bayview,

37:39

Brookline. What's the other? I

37:42

don't know. Okay, Brookline, because Brookline, they

37:44

would take the B82 straight home. So

37:46

I'm not gonna take them. So she came and the first thing

37:48

she did when she came and she

37:51

saw her kids was hug her

37:53

kids. And she's like, coach Deval, I

37:55

thought something was wrong. I thought they did something trouble. But it was the

37:58

fact that she came in them.

38:00

Most moms when I called them and said there was an

38:03

issue, the first thing they kid and they swinging and cussing

38:05

and you know I had to do and why the coach

38:07

got her calling me but she didn't come in and do

38:09

that. She came in and hugged

38:11

her kids first like when I said hug them, crest

38:13

their face, you okay, kiss them on the forehead and

38:15

I was like wow like

38:18

like this was I didn't

38:20

receive that type when they called my

38:22

mom for school it was hell.

38:24

Because the valentine deal of his homework that he was

38:26

supposed to do. Yo my mom was not coming in

38:28

there with no you know my son no my mother

38:31

used to come in and look me right in my

38:33

face. But one thing she

38:35

was was consistent because if you call and you

38:37

had an issue with the teacher then she came

38:39

in with guns blearing too. You cannot play, remember

38:41

I said my mother's a thug? With the lucky

38:43

bucks and all that. You can't play with Karen

38:45

Ellis. You I called my mom because they kicked

38:47

me out of class because me

38:50

and the teacher Miss Rosen she's a Jewish

38:52

lady it was during Black History Month and

38:54

we were still doing Anne Frank in the

38:56

Holocaust and I asked the question I'm 13

38:59

years old I say I have a question

39:01

why are we still doing Anne Frank during

39:03

Black History Month and she started screaming how

39:05

dare you how dare you the Holocaust was

39:07

the biggest atrocity to ever happen in mankind

39:09

and I said well I beg

39:11

to differ slavery was pretty bad as well and

39:13

she kicked me out of class so

39:16

I called my mom. You

39:18

know who showed up the same

39:21

day? Not wait till

39:23

tomorrow with a trench coat on. My

39:25

mother left work and

39:27

let that woman have it and let the whole

39:29

school have it right and that's why I say

39:31

like when I talk about I have mommy issues

39:34

it's not because I had a bad mom it

39:36

was like my mom was a disciplinarian right the

39:38

lack of affection I got from my mom rears

39:41

his head with you sometimes because all I want to

39:43

do is... I was just about to transition to me

39:45

and how I've been affected by it. All I want

39:47

to do is... Not necessarily to go the bad way

39:49

but it's just like we realize where those deficits were

39:51

and how the compensation now falls on me and if

39:53

I fall short of that too then it becomes a

39:55

reminder of your mom. Yes. Which is

39:57

not healthy either. I just want

39:59

to hug. I just want you to hug

40:02

me. I love to make out

40:04

and every time it doesn't always have to go

40:06

to sex, but I just want my

40:08

wife. I want to like last night you

40:10

probably felt me on you the whole time.

40:12

You woke up this morning I'm

40:14

just rubbing on your booty and you just like

40:16

look up at me and I'm just rubbing on

40:18

your booty I'm half sleep, but I just that feeling

40:21

of being nurtured Yeah, you know what I'm saying

40:23

that I felt like I missed out on my

40:25

childhood Reared its head and

40:27

feeling like I wasn't appreciated and sometimes that I

40:29

was only here just to do work to do

40:31

stuff Yeah, made me made me feel away like

40:33

I got defensive and growing up in adult when

40:36

I when I used to hear women speak About

40:38

the stuff they required from men I used to

40:40

automatically get defensive and be like y'all require all

40:42

it is but I don't hear nobody saying what

40:44

you're gonna Do for me as a man because

40:47

I watched my mom also like my

40:50

mom was not super affectionate to my pops And

40:53

knowing what I know now the way they grew

40:55

up my parents are very conservative Mm-hmm, so they

40:58

don't they I never saw them like canoodle or

41:00

do anything and when my father did try my

41:02

mom was like Troy Troy, but she's like the

41:04

kids were there. Yeah, you know I'm saying but

41:06

that affected me Cuz I'm like, you know, like

41:09

you don't mind when my dad is giving you

41:11

gifts You don't mind when he's taking you places

41:13

But when he tries to be affection you have

41:16

a problem with that that always stuck with me

41:18

and gave me issues You know

41:20

like you and I all the time

41:22

when I'm just like yo, so I can't argue

41:24

today I can't you gonna tell me no and

41:26

tell me to stop in front of the kids.

41:28

No, I'm not doing that No, I mean I

41:30

get this point we don't yeah These kids are

41:32

gonna see they might love when they dad and

41:34

they don't see they dad love on a mom

41:36

Because they need to understand that this also happens

41:38

in a relationship right a relationship isn't this transactional

41:40

thing, right? Where it's like I buy you gifts

41:42

and you make me food and you fold my

41:44

laundry and I take you on trips No, right

41:49

And I want the boys to know that no for sure

41:51

cuz it's definitely like a radical love situation that we have

41:53

going on here and The

41:55

boys exposure to that, you know, we had

41:57

gotten some backlash in the past about you

41:59

being too touchy feely or the boys being

42:01

exposed to that. But then that's also people's,

42:04

their own issues and

42:06

their own perceptions and their own perspectives that

42:08

they're putting on the situation. It's not over-sexualizing

42:10

it, it's just showing the love and care

42:12

and then doing it within the context where

42:14

we show our boys and we tell our

42:16

boys that this is within a marriage, which

42:19

is a consensual relationship that both people are

42:21

in agreement with this happening too. So

42:23

that's how everything is coded, particularly with

42:25

us and the boys. One thing I

42:27

have to also thank your mom for

42:30

is you not wanting to wash

42:33

a dish or do

42:35

it for the laundry. That was my mom and

42:37

grandma. Because you literally, Deval had to do it

42:39

like since he was nine. So when it came

42:41

to being adult, Deval was just like, I'm not

42:44

gonna do it, I rather hire someone to do

42:46

it. He's like, you don't have

42:48

to do it all, Kay, I'm not expecting you to

42:50

wash every dish and wash every drawer, but what I'm

42:52

gonna do is hire someone to

42:54

do it. I said to your mom when

42:56

she was here one day, I was just like, you realize that

42:59

like, your son was

43:01

traumatized with keeping a clean house. And the funny thing

43:03

is you do, when we keep a clean house for the most

43:05

part, I mean, then again, this is not our house. We trash

43:07

it anyway, but we try our best to

43:09

keep a clean house and then like Deval won't do

43:11

certain things because he's had to do it as a

43:13

child and it was trauma. And he just is like,

43:15

I'm not doing certain things at all.

43:18

Absolutely. Even

43:22

before nine, because my grandmother, she had

43:24

white carpet, we talked about this, white

43:26

carpet in her kitchen, into her den.

43:29

And that was the space where most people

43:31

came. And if that carpet was dirty, she

43:33

was handing out lashes with the flyswatter belt

43:35

or the slipper. My grandmother didn't

43:37

play. So, and she also told us, y'all

43:40

gonna be here for eight weeks in the

43:42

summertime. I'm not getting up every morning and

43:44

making y'all breakfast. So from as early as

43:46

seven, I remember making my own pancakes, waffles,

43:49

eggs, French toast, because I remember that she

43:51

taught us how to do it. And it was

43:53

me, my cousin, Devaun, and my cousin, and my brother

43:55

Brian. And we would, at first it was the three

43:57

of us. Then my sister Tori was...

44:00

born nine years later, so we were responsible to take

44:02

care of her. So every

44:04

summer, we had to wake up first

44:06

thing in the morning, we had to cut the grass twice

44:08

a week, we had to clean out the

44:11

gutters, we had to do all the things that men

44:13

were supposed to do while my grandfather was at

44:15

work. Nana was like, yo, I ain't

44:17

doing it. I'm not, yeah. I got all these boys

44:20

here. You see that lawn out there, an acre of

44:22

land, with all the, get a clean, every leaf out

44:24

of that lawn. And then it was like, y'all hungry,

44:26

make your own food. If y'all wanna

44:28

go to the Boys and Girls Club, I'll take y'all there. But

44:30

then once we started driving, she was like, take y'all self

44:32

there. So for me, it was

44:34

just like, man. It was teaching independence, really. It was.

44:37

Ultimately from early, which is a true testament

44:39

to who you are specifically to this day.

44:41

Absolutely. Like that's literally like a correlation between

44:43

you being raised the way you were raised

44:45

and who you are as an adult male.

44:48

Absolutely. So I think a lot of your success is attributed

44:51

to that. Something's of course, just your... I

44:54

would say 90% of my success was attributed

44:56

to my mom and the way she did

44:58

things. My father's presence

45:00

was more, when

45:04

she told it to your mother, my mother's five too. You're

45:07

not really afraid. Like my mother

45:09

couldn't scare me. Now I was afraid

45:11

that in my sleep, she might cut me. Cause

45:14

my mother is really a thug and she

45:16

never showed any intimidation

45:20

by me and my brother. Like the minute we got

45:22

taller than her, she was like, don't look down on

45:24

me. And she would stand at the bottom two steps.

45:27

And she would say, come here, come here, come here.

45:30

And then we would have to walk to bottom two

45:32

stairs and she would be taller than us now. And

45:34

then she would be... I'm gonna use that one Ma.

45:36

Thanks. and you were in

45:38

the now. And she would be reading us the riot

45:41

act. And if we look

45:43

away, she grabbing our face and she was

45:45

demanding respect, which I understand in the house

45:47

where you got two huge

45:49

boys who lift weights, who play football, who

45:51

fought competitively and martial arts around the country.

45:53

Like she like, y'all not gonna think y'all

45:56

can beat me. But

45:58

sometimes I feel like her. feeling she

46:00

had to do that. She didn't really

46:02

show us any love and the nurturing.

46:04

And- So it's about finding,

46:06

you feel that maybe finding the balance. Or

46:08

if that's the takeaway as we raise boys

46:10

and listeners listening, it's like finding that balance.

46:13

You know, it's very important. All right, let's jump into

46:15

some facts and stats real quick before we take this

46:17

break. Most of which I think we kind of touched

46:19

on a little bit during conversation here, which

46:22

was heavily, I guess you telling your story, because I don't know

46:24

what it's like to have mommy issues as a boy, but

46:27

mommy issues are- One thing is you have mommy issues as a woman

46:29

too. Oh yeah, that could be a whole nother episode in the south

46:31

too. Mommy issues refers to

46:33

the psychological effects of a child's early

46:36

relationship with their mother, which can continue

46:38

into adulthood. And some signs of this

46:40

mommy hood and men include, entitlement, they

46:42

may feel entitled if their mother was

46:45

overindulgent or controlling. Infidelity,

46:47

they may cheat on their partners to fill an

46:49

emotional void that may have been left by their

46:51

mother. Low self-esteem, they may

46:53

have negative self-talk and feel paralyzed by

46:56

fear or rejection. This is something that

46:58

we've seen in a couple of

47:00

kids recently. Yes. Clinginess,

47:02

they may have a tendency to cling

47:04

to others. Intimacy struggles with an intimacy.

47:06

I have prototype kids that I can

47:08

name all of these. All

47:11

of these, I have family members. Family members, yeah. That

47:13

I can name different ones for all of these. Yep.

47:16

Difficulty, oh, anxiety is one that I skipped.

47:18

Anxiety, they may feel anxious when they get

47:21

close to people. Difficulty getting

47:23

to know others. They may have difficulty

47:25

letting others know themselves, or I guess

47:27

letting them in. Always

47:29

needing to stay in contact with their mother,

47:32

never wanting anything to do with their mother,

47:34

which is the reverse of that. Being

47:36

disrespectful towards women, feeling insecure or often

47:38

suspicious. I wanna jump in on that.

47:41

Being disrespectful towards women. A lot of

47:43

the young men who I saw, whose

47:46

moms tried to lead with

47:49

a masculine energy as

47:51

they were going through adolescence, because they felt

47:53

like, I have to show him

47:55

I'm the dominant one in the house. 99% of those

47:57

young men grew up to

48:00

be disrespectful to women, because they felt like

48:03

their moms, the way their mom talked to

48:05

them was the norm. So they spoke to

48:07

everybody that way. They didn't just disrespect women,

48:10

they disrespected everyone. But it was

48:12

more prevalent with women because you're

48:15

a man. You know, you talk

48:17

to a man disrespectful, it's fisticuff,

48:19

something's gonna happen, you know what I'm saying? But

48:21

when you talk to a woman like that or

48:23

your woman like that, she's smaller than you, she

48:25

might kinda cower a little bit. Or

48:27

you find a woman that's like your mom

48:30

and you talk disrespectful, so now she being

48:32

disrespectful. Disrespectful too, Sarah was going to talk

48:34

to her too. And now y'all in this

48:36

toxic relationship that you think is normal, because

48:38

your mom let you believe that being disrespectful

48:41

was a sign of love. Right, think about

48:43

another toxic relationship between mother and son can

48:45

be the mother acting like this is her

48:47

man. How many times have we seen

48:49

that? Oedipus complex, Oedipus complex. Well yes,

48:52

exactly, baby boy. Baby boy is a perfect

48:54

example. Absolutely, it's just like, yo, this is

48:56

not your man, sis, this is your son

48:58

that you're raising. You know, there has to

49:00

be a stark difference. You know. I

49:02

know. I know, you know, I see your face, you know. Always

49:05

doubting others' loves, and that could be probably because

49:07

you feel like mom's love is stronger or not,

49:11

just doubting in general. Expecting

49:13

a partner to pamper them, constantly

49:16

taking care of them, being

49:19

the responsibility of their partner, being

49:21

violent towards women, being

49:24

misogynistic towards women, controlling women,

49:26

and demanding constant attention and

49:28

loyalty from women. So

49:31

a huge trickle down effect happens here. These are

49:33

all issues that come from money

49:36

issues, and to be

49:38

honest, I'm not speaking just to young

49:41

men. I'm also speaking to young women, because if

49:43

you aspire to be a mom,

49:46

you have just as much responsibility to create

49:49

good, sustainable human beings. As these human beings,

49:51

these young men have a responsibility to be

49:53

better people. So it works hand in

49:55

hand. We as a community of people all have to work

49:58

harder to be better so that

50:00

we... can just introduce new

50:02

ways of communicating and new ways of

50:04

existing on the planet without being so...

50:08

So I hate to say the word toxic because it's

50:11

overused. It feels so overused, but... But that is

50:13

the truth. It's literally what it is. Like I had

50:15

a mom tell her son, tell me, she's

50:18

screaming, cursing her son all the time. And I

50:20

said, why

50:23

do you feel you gotta speak to him like that? In

50:25

order for him to get it across? And she was like, I love

50:27

him. If I just let him go

50:29

out in the world and think the world is this and this and that,

50:32

then I'm not showing him no love. It's because

50:34

I'm hard on him and because I do this, I'm

50:36

showing him that I love him. And I said, I

50:38

understand in her mind how she views that, but

50:41

she doesn't realize the residue of all of

50:43

that, how it leaves him. Or the lack

50:45

of balance. Like you can be that sometimes,

50:47

but then in other times,

50:49

like you gotta know how to like not

50:51

tip the skill either way too much. Do

50:55

you think that, or why do you think,

50:58

this is a good one. Why do you think that

51:00

people talk more about women having daddy issues

51:02

than we talk about men having mommy issues?

51:05

I'm thinking, I'm gonna ask you this, but my

51:07

idea is that women are always labeled

51:09

the more emotional ones. So we

51:12

are more apt to, if anything,

51:14

speak about or be more

51:16

vocal about how the daddy issues may have

51:18

affected us. Or also too, when you look

51:20

at women and you see a girl who

51:23

may be conducting herself in a certain way, you say,

51:25

oh, the father wasn't in the house because that's something

51:27

people see. Whereas men

51:29

are not always encouraged to, or historically haven't

51:31

been encouraged to speak about their emotions and

51:33

how they feel and mental health and things

51:36

like that. So I'm wondering if that's one

51:38

of the reasons why we

51:40

don't hear as much about daddy or women

51:43

having, men having mommy issues. I think

51:45

it's twofold. I think number one, we're

51:47

super hypercritical of women. We've

51:49

always been hypercritical of women. There are parents, how

51:52

they act and being emotional. That's number one. Since

51:54

we're hypercritical of women, we spend more of our

51:56

time as a community of people. But

51:58

what we did in the past, it's definitely. changing now

52:00

because you do social media, but

52:03

you always hear like she has the problem,

52:05

she has the problem. I also

52:07

think conversely, which is not healthy at all,

52:10

men weren't allowed to express feelings. Because

52:12

if you expressed your feelings, you were

52:15

considered soft or less manly. So

52:17

since we were taught from young to just

52:19

not express our feelings and be cold, when

52:22

you grow up and it's like, what's your problem? I have no problem.

52:25

Being stoic and being even is the

52:27

manly thing. So since you're not allowed

52:29

to express those emotional issues, it

52:31

was almost as if they didn't exist. When

52:34

all they did was exist internally and they

52:36

festered until that man lashed out, and then

52:38

when that man lashed out, they treated it

52:40

as if it was an anomaly.

52:43

When realistically this isn't an anomaly, a lot

52:46

of these men have these issues coming from

52:48

their moms, and

52:50

we're just not allowed to talk about it, which is

52:52

why I wanna talk about it. Right, and which made

52:54

perfect sense today. And I'm even thinking, sometimes we have

52:57

our all girls episode, it would

52:59

be interesting because I would wanna know if

53:01

you have any other young men or men

53:03

around you that would be

53:05

open to speaking about how their mom

53:07

has affected them, whether

53:09

it's good or bad. That would be an

53:11

interesting conversation amongst men. When we did the

53:14

dad gang event, I think it was two

53:16

years ago here, there was a point where

53:18

all of the guys got together and talked about how

53:20

our moms affected who we were as

53:22

parents, who we were as

53:25

spouses. Shout out to the

53:27

dad gang, that's a great space for you all to do

53:29

that in. Oh, yeah, absolutely, the dad gang, shout out to

53:31

my boy, Sean. Actually, that's Josh's boy, Sean. They kept us

53:33

together. But it

53:36

was funny how the conversation navigated

53:39

to that without us even trying. Like

53:42

we were sitting there talking, it was just like, because what happened

53:44

was there was an announcement of

53:46

one of the dads, I can't remember who, was having a

53:48

daughter. And we were

53:51

talking about our role as fathers

53:53

raising daughters. And at the time, I

53:56

only had three sons at the time

53:58

and you were pregnant. And they

54:00

were talking about the value. If you have a girl, how would

54:03

you raise them? And we started

54:05

talking about how we would raise our

54:07

daughters in a way that they

54:09

would be able to raise us the

54:12

way we wanted to be raised

54:14

so we could be better people. You

54:16

know what I'm saying? So it was just

54:18

like, you know, I'm raising my daughter with

54:20

intention that if she chooses that she wants

54:22

to be a wife and a mom, she

54:25

understands that you have a responsibility because

54:27

you're gonna be raising a generation of

54:29

a man or a young woman that

54:32

you're responsible for. And everything that I'm doing to you

54:34

now is going to affect that young person. That's a

54:36

fact. And I mean, we were deliberate about that. And

54:38

we were all talking about my mom this. And that's

54:40

what made me think about it too. And I was

54:42

just like, man, all of these young men are very

54:44

deliberate. And you know what I'm thinking about them being

54:46

deliberate? You know what we all said? Our mothers were

54:49

deliberate. Like our mothers were

54:51

like- One thing we will be is- Deliberate.

54:54

Do things this way. Women have an insight

54:56

and men have a foresight. The insight in

54:58

those moments as you're being raised are really

55:01

what matter because they clearly carry you on

55:03

through the rest of your manhood and your

55:05

adulthood. All right, now it feels like

55:07

a good time to take a little break and

55:09

then we'll come back with listening letters. So stick around.

55:19

Babe. Yeah, babe. Do

55:21

you think they can hear us? Yeah, those

55:23

are like mics. Guys, we are back. We

55:25

are so excited. It is season two of

55:27

your favorite New Girl rewatch podcast. We have

55:29

got a new season, we got a new

55:31

name, and we got a brand new episode

55:33

every week starting July 2nd. Yeah, I am

55:35

so excited for you folks to check out

55:37

this mess around. When I say it's gonna

55:40

get weird, I mean it's gonna get weird.

55:42

Just save it for the show. Okay, that's

55:44

probably for the best. We've got some of

55:46

your favorite people from the New Girl universe.

55:48

We've got the creator and showrunner, Liz Merriweather.

55:50

We got the Max Greenfield, Olivia Munn. We

55:52

also have some of your least favorites, like

55:54

Jake Johnson. No, no, I'm just

55:56

saying, like, if you're listing off your favorites, like, he'd be, he's

55:59

still a favorite. You just had a what's up?

56:01

We do have big jobs and stuff. Yeah. Listen

56:03

to the mess around on the I Heart Radio

56:05

app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

56:09

From KT Studios, the number

56:12

one podcast, the

56:14

Idaho Massacre is back.

56:16

The new developments in the University of Idaho

56:18

murder case. It

56:21

was an unimaginable crime. In

56:23

the early morning of November 13th, 2022, four

56:27

University of Idaho students killed.

56:33

Police have no suspect and no

56:35

murder weapon. A nationwide manhunt captivates

56:38

the world. Moscow

56:40

PD saying today they're now looking for

56:43

a white Honda Elantra. Then a shocking

56:45

arrest. There is now a

56:47

suspect in custody. This is a PhD

56:49

student in criminology. This is the guy.

56:53

Will he be found innocent? He claims he

56:55

has an alibi. Or

56:58

face death. Listen

57:01

to season two of the Idaho Massacre on

57:03

the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or

57:05

wherever you get your podcasts.

57:08

Welcome, welcome, welcome to another exciting

57:11

episode of the Trap Nerds podcast.

57:13

This is not an episode. It's

57:15

a promo. You know what it

57:18

is? Promo time. We in this

57:20

piece. Trap Nerds, Trap Nerds. Real

57:23

n*** like it never hurt. Join

57:25

the Trap Nerds podcast every Monday and listen to

57:28

us discuss all things inside and out of Blurred

57:30

Culture. So, well, Quentin Tarantino squashes his beef with

57:32

Marvel and be like, I got this. See how

57:34

I mean to push out the road. We'll see

57:37

how I be down with this. Make

57:39

you know it could be a charades. With

57:41

the best movie and TV reviews from a

57:43

Blurred perspective. I think if

57:45

both of them hadn't got fired, Kevin

57:48

probably could be in trouble right now.

57:50

Freeze. We giving you reliable gaming news

57:52

and real genuine game reviews. I'll

57:54

stand for lightning. Why does she have three games?

57:57

Cause she a bad. I

57:59

hate you so much. Listen to the

58:01

Trap Nurse podcast on the Black Effect

58:03

podcast network, our heart radio app, Apple

58:05

Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

58:11

All right, we are back and we're

58:13

rolling right into these listener letters. I

58:16

guess I'll jump in and start with the first one. Hey,

58:18

Cadena and the Val, it's Brie, writing from Texas.

58:20

What up Brie from Texas? First,

58:23

I would like to say I love your family

58:25

and I'm truly inspired, and you're truly inspired to,

58:27

oh my goodness, and I'm truly inspired to have one of my

58:30

own one day. Okay, so boom, I'm 23 years

58:32

old and recently my father has

58:34

popped back into my life after being absent for

58:36

21 of those years. Wow,

58:39

so only two years with dad. My

58:41

mom did an amazing job raising me on her own.

58:43

I never wanted or needed for anything because of her.

58:45

That brings me to say that over the past few

58:48

months, my father and I have had communication more than

58:50

ever before,

58:52

but it's still not enough for me.

58:55

He and my mother seem to be rekindling

58:57

a friendship slash relationship, quote

58:59

unquote. And I'm not sure

59:01

how I feel about it simply because they're

59:03

acting oblivious to the years of his absence

59:05

and the hurt that he has caused me.

59:08

Imagine living 20 minutes from your father and

59:10

seeing him and your siblings maybe once every

59:13

two years. Mind you, my

59:15

parents were high school sweethearts who had me

59:17

in college, but split shortly after. My

59:20

father was able to finish school, marry a

59:22

woman who was not fond of myself or

59:24

my mother. Are you picking up what

59:26

I'm putting down? And that's what

59:28

she said. And went on to

59:30

have two of my siblings, all

59:32

while my mother put her life on hold for me.

59:36

That woman is my hero and I understand

59:38

that I cannot tell her who she can

59:40

and cannot forgive, but it's hard when you

59:42

watch your single mother pick up the slack

59:44

to raise you because your father chose to

59:46

be absent and let his wife dictate the

59:48

relationship with his oldest child, a daughter at

59:50

that. In

59:52

my daddy issue opinion, he should

59:54

be hauling ass towards a relationship

59:56

with me rather than fixing one

59:59

with my mother. I feel as

1:00:01

though the interactions that my father and I

1:00:03

have are for brownie points for my mother

1:00:05

and not genuinely for

1:00:07

our Relationship growth so it's difficult

1:00:09

very difficult to accept Maybe

1:00:12

it's the Virgo in me. My

1:00:14

mom continues to call me a brat That

1:00:17

girl be for real. That's what she said too because

1:00:20

of how I'm acting But she simply doesn't

1:00:22

understand my point of view which

1:00:24

has now put a strain on our relationship.

1:00:26

Yeah The feelings that

1:00:28

I have tucked away over the years are

1:00:31

now resurfacing I honestly don't know if it's

1:00:33

jealousy anger or just plain hurt. Should

1:00:35

I be happy for my mother? Am

1:00:37

I selfish if I'm not are my

1:00:39

feelings valid? What advice would

1:00:42

you give me on handling these emotions

1:00:44

and unhealed trauma? Thank you guys Wow,

1:00:47

what a loaded situation. I'm not a lot of

1:00:49

topic is I'm biased

1:00:52

because three of the closest people

1:00:54

to me Are dealing with baby

1:00:56

mothers who are purposely trying to keep their children

1:00:59

away from them and have kept their children away

1:01:01

from them one For over a year one

1:01:03

for over three months and one they have to go

1:01:05

to court right now And these are

1:01:08

good men who want to be fathers who are fighting just

1:01:10

to be in their children's life and their

1:01:12

moms are keeping them away For

1:01:15

leverage for whatever reasons they have so I'm

1:01:17

biased because it's hard for me to hear

1:01:19

any story like this and automatically Jump on

1:01:21

the dude and be like he should be

1:01:23

doing this. He should be doing that I

1:01:25

watch these men do everything to be in

1:01:27

their children's lives and still get fucked one

1:01:29

by the court system and two by that

1:01:31

Woman who is scorned for whatever reason? You

1:01:34

know, so um, I don't want

1:01:36

to put my biased opinion on what I think

1:01:39

About this because I really still don't know enough context.

1:01:41

But what I will say is um People

1:01:46

especially children feel like parents owe

1:01:49

them something I know I do.

1:01:51

I feel like I didn't ask to come here. I'm

1:01:53

here if you're guilty pleasures like You

1:01:55

you owe me. I'm saying so I think she's

1:01:57

right. I feel like you should be trying to

1:01:59

build a relationship with me as opposed to my

1:02:02

mom. You know what I'm saying? I just

1:02:04

don't know what went on with him and

1:02:06

the mom that he was away. Right.

1:02:09

I don't know. So my follow up questions were,

1:02:11

what caused you and your mom and dad to

1:02:13

split? And it could be just college school because

1:02:15

he said the father went on to finish school,

1:02:17

but mom didn't. So was it just like, okay,

1:02:19

we had to split because we're trying to both

1:02:21

make something of ourselves and go to college and

1:02:23

then possibly rekindle, but then he meets homegirl and

1:02:25

then has two children with her. So

1:02:27

maybe there was really still some love there,

1:02:30

between her mom and dad and

1:02:32

the situation or the circumstances didn't allow for

1:02:34

them to be together. But I don't think

1:02:36

that takes away from the hurt that she

1:02:38

feels, you know, at this point. So if

1:02:40

things are now not working out with her

1:02:42

father's wife, who she has the two, he

1:02:44

has the two siblings with, and now he's

1:02:46

coming back to mom because they were legitimately

1:02:48

high school sweethearts and maybe again, immaturity, that

1:02:50

time of life, you

1:02:52

know, you're getting also the advice of

1:02:55

parents and other people around when you're

1:02:57

young, that also sometimes skews your decision-making

1:02:59

process. So that might've been the case

1:03:01

for her father and her mother. I

1:03:04

do agree with her though, in that

1:03:06

she should feel a way that her

1:03:08

father is not really actively making some

1:03:11

sort of effort and genuine effort at

1:03:13

that to make some sort

1:03:15

of relationship with her. I think if

1:03:17

he did exhibit the desire to

1:03:20

want a relationship with her and it

1:03:22

organically, authentically happened, that in itself would

1:03:24

probably drive her mom to say, wow,

1:03:27

like, look at how he's trying to

1:03:29

pour into our daughter again and build

1:03:31

this relationship and that might spark something

1:03:33

with them. But I think she

1:03:35

feels like the outsider in this circumstance because

1:03:37

they're canoodling and she's like, hey, what about

1:03:39

me? One thing I won't do, like

1:03:41

I said, because I know I'm gonna be biased because the

1:03:43

three people I'm talking about are dealing with these issues right

1:03:46

now. I don't wanna speak on the

1:03:48

mother and father relationship because anytime

1:03:50

you try to build a narrative around what

1:03:52

could be, it could also just not be

1:03:54

that. But I will say this though, all

1:03:56

of those three men that I'm talking about

1:03:59

are deliberate about. having relationships with their children.

1:04:01

And it seems like he dropped the ball on that.

1:04:04

Especially since they live 20 minutes away unless there was

1:04:06

a court order, which once again, we

1:04:08

don't know why 20 minutes away would

1:04:11

you not have a relationship with your daughter unless

1:04:13

there is a court order, in which case we knew with

1:04:15

one of the friends I'm talking about there was a court

1:04:17

order for a year where he couldn't see his daughter for

1:04:20

no other reason other than the mom was just lying.

1:04:23

But like- Or what if

1:04:25

her mom, unbeknownst to her, was

1:04:27

making it difficult for him and

1:04:30

his wife at the time. That's what I'm saying. And her mom

1:04:32

is not coming clean and saying, girl, I gave him away to

1:04:34

go. You see what I'm saying? And

1:04:36

that's why he's not even- That's why I'm saying it's

1:04:38

hard for me to create an idea of why the

1:04:40

parents, I wish he would

1:04:42

have done a better job of having

1:04:44

a relationship with his daughter because there's

1:04:47

no excuse for that unless there's a

1:04:49

court order. Or like in some of

1:04:51

the circumstances we see, it's causing more

1:04:53

issues for my current family to try

1:04:55

because every time I try, that

1:04:57

person is making it difficult for my wife

1:05:00

and my kids now. So

1:05:02

at some point it's like, what am I supposed to do

1:05:04

here? And it's just me as a

1:05:06

man. And I'm not judging

1:05:08

no man, I've never been through this. I've

1:05:10

watched one of my friends lose everything in

1:05:12

his savings trying to do this. I will

1:05:15

another one lose almost everything trying to get

1:05:17

back their child. And my brother is going

1:05:19

through it right now with his

1:05:22

baby's mother. But I will

1:05:24

say this, if it were me, there's nothing you can do to keep

1:05:26

me away from my child. I think

1:05:28

on both sides, men or women. Feel

1:05:30

the same way. There's just nothing you can

1:05:32

do to keep me away from my child. I hope

1:05:34

she's able to find reconciliation with her dad. I hope

1:05:37

so too. I think your feelings definitely are valid to

1:05:39

answer your questions. I don't

1:05:41

know if you should be happy for your mother.

1:05:43

I know how much you love your mother and

1:05:45

you feel like she was the one who really

1:05:47

carried you through all these years. But you can

1:05:49

acknowledge your feelings. And I think that you may

1:05:51

be better equipped with someone like a therapist who

1:05:53

can help you kind of unhash and really dig

1:05:55

deep and maybe involving your mom

1:05:57

and dad now. That may be a way

1:05:59

to bring you back. you guys together by

1:06:01

putting everybody in one room and say, okay,

1:06:03

mom, dad, here's how I

1:06:05

feel. You know what? That's it. Here's how

1:06:08

I feel. If she really wants understanding and

1:06:10

reconciliation, she should get them two in a

1:06:12

room. Since they want a canoodle now, can

1:06:15

y'all please let me know the history of what

1:06:17

happened during my life and my childhood? Like,

1:06:20

I just want to know how I lived 20 minutes

1:06:22

away from my dad and I wasn't able. And I

1:06:24

want you both in the room so y'all can tell

1:06:26

me the truth. Right, so we can know exactly what

1:06:28

it is. And I'm not judging. Nope. I

1:06:31

just want to know what happened the previous 20 years. So

1:06:33

I know how to move. I know how to move. Right,

1:06:35

that's it. I'm not going to blame anybody. Oh, you moved

1:06:37

that way because she did this. Oh, you moved that way

1:06:39

because he did that. Okay, I understand

1:06:42

now. I'm just a byproduct of YouTube being

1:06:44

young and immature. And I had

1:06:46

to deal with that. Now that I know why we're

1:06:48

here and what happened, it can help

1:06:50

me move forward. That's the best advice you say. She

1:06:53

should speak to both of them collectively, have a

1:06:55

mediator to make sure stuff stays good. So you're 23

1:06:58

now, so they can respect you as an adult and

1:07:00

say, hey, like, you don't want to hide anything anymore.

1:07:02

Like, I'm an adult, we're all adults here. And like

1:07:04

you said, no judgment. I just want to know. I

1:07:07

just want to know. So good luck to you, sis,

1:07:09

as you continue to heal and deal with these emotions.

1:07:11

I hope you can find some reconciliation with

1:07:14

your parents. Absolutely. Number two,

1:07:16

Dear Kadina Duval, I wrote this letter at 2

1:07:18

a.m. by my poolside with tears streaming down my

1:07:20

eyes. At least it's a poolside, baby. No, I'm

1:07:23

sorry. This is the second time my husband and

1:07:25

I had a physical fight in our relationship for

1:07:27

seven years. And this time it was

1:07:29

in front of our one-year-old baby. I

1:07:31

vowed to never be in a relationship that gets physical,

1:07:34

much less to have it occur in front of my

1:07:36

son. I cannot overcome the

1:07:38

guilt and shame I feel for having him witness

1:07:40

this crying, or because I decided to hold on

1:07:42

to him to take him and

1:07:45

prepare his midnight bottle, like I always

1:07:47

do, in aggression from an argument earlier.

1:07:50

But his father had already prepared one

1:07:52

and came in the room and asked

1:07:54

for the baby. I just

1:07:56

ignored him and went to the kitchen.

1:07:59

Then there he came, bulldozing me over

1:08:01

to collect the baby. So I pushed

1:08:03

him back and it went down from

1:08:05

there. It's so sad. My passive aggression

1:08:07

has become, has because, wait,

1:08:10

my passive aggression was because he called cursing

1:08:13

me out because I had my new

1:08:15

work employer put the parking sticker on

1:08:18

his car that I used and claims

1:08:20

is going to damage his tent. A

1:08:22

tent guys, PS. We switched cars because

1:08:24

of the distance and his is electric.

1:08:27

I never thought something so small and insignificant could

1:08:29

catapult because it really had nothing to do with

1:08:31

that. And catapult into this.

1:08:34

Khadine, don't bash me please.

1:08:36

He sweats the small stuff and

1:08:39

I'm so tired. Tell me what I know

1:08:41

and what I need to know please. Sign

1:08:45

seal. First of all, this is a domestic abuse. Like

1:08:52

this is nothing to be joking about. No, not at

1:08:54

all. Wow. This

1:08:57

is once again, man, sometimes you

1:08:59

guys write in with these things and we need

1:09:01

context. Yeah. We really want to help you guys.

1:09:04

And it would be better if we can hear

1:09:06

both sides. One thing I will

1:09:08

say though is that if you're at a point in

1:09:10

your marriage, seven years, it should

1:09:12

never get physical and it should never get to

1:09:14

a point where you're screaming and cursing at each

1:09:16

other. Yes, Khadine and I have talked

1:09:18

about times where we've screamed and cursed at each other.

1:09:21

Definitely. But when it gets to a point where

1:09:23

that leads to violence, both parties need

1:09:25

to really take heed of what's going on

1:09:27

here. Because based on even what she said,

1:09:30

he was bulldozing her. She pushed him. Right,

1:09:32

and the escalator from there. Somebody

1:09:35

at some point has to make a

1:09:37

choice to de-escalate. And it seems like

1:09:39

in this situation, neither party was willing

1:09:41

to de-escalate. I

1:09:45

understand that they have a one-year-old

1:09:47

son. One-year-old.

1:09:49

There are a lot more issues when you

1:09:51

have a one-year-old. Because you're dealing with sleep

1:09:53

deprivation. You're dealing with hormone changes. You're dealing

1:09:56

with the

1:09:58

lifestyle changing of YouTube. Because

1:10:00

it was just two of you, now it's three of you. And

1:10:02

there's someone else that you both have to consider. She

1:10:04

also said this is the second time that they had

1:10:06

a physical fight in their relationship of seven years. Right.

1:10:09

Like, so what happened prior to this one year

1:10:11

old baby? Right? went

1:10:13

to at least two years. So within that first, what, five

1:10:16

years? What happened that caused

1:10:18

that? And is there gonna be another? Because

1:10:20

if there was one, there's two. There's two, is

1:10:22

there gonna be three? And if they don't deal with their issues, there

1:10:24

will be a three. And why is it escalating to physical

1:10:26

violence? You know what I mean? Like, you

1:10:29

can yell, you can argue, you can scream, you can go

1:10:31

to your corners, but when it becomes physical, that's when it

1:10:33

becomes a big issue. So I think there really needs to

1:10:35

be a hashing out and a

1:10:37

digging down to see what exactly the root of

1:10:39

the issue is. Why are we resorting to violence?

1:10:42

Yeah. Because that's

1:10:44

not acceptable from either party. And that's from a

1:10:46

woman being physical to a man and vice versa.

1:10:48

And it seems like- Or person to person, it's

1:10:50

not even man and woman. There are certain

1:10:52

things here that I just think that is

1:10:54

just like passive aggressiveness is terrible and pettiness

1:10:56

is terrible. Him being upset about a

1:10:59

tint sticker probably

1:11:01

has nothing to do with the tint sticker. It has

1:11:04

everything to do with other unresolved issues that haven't been

1:11:06

dealt with. Her being passive aggressive

1:11:08

probably has nothing to do with the bottle

1:11:10

and everything to do with issues that have

1:11:12

not been dealt with. And if I'm being

1:11:14

honest, because this is no joking matter, physical

1:11:17

assault often leads to jail time or someone

1:11:19

being murdered, especially in domestic abuse. So

1:11:21

this has to be dealt with in young lady. I hope

1:11:23

you can hear us as we talk to you now. This

1:11:25

is not funny to us. Khadine

1:11:28

would never bash you on this and neither would

1:11:30

I. But it

1:11:32

says that you're tired. If you're tired,

1:11:34

seek help. This

1:11:37

is not something that a podcast can help you with. This

1:11:39

is something that you guys need to go get

1:11:42

professional help because if it extends to physical education,

1:11:44

it's beyond the scope of what we can help you guys with. This

1:11:46

is just the guys on this truth. And you say he

1:11:48

sweats the small stuff. It may be small

1:11:50

to you, but maybe it's not small to him. I had to learn

1:11:53

that with Duval. There were some things that I'm like, he'd

1:11:55

be like, if this happened to you or if I did this to you,

1:11:57

you would feel this pain. I'm like, actually, no, I wouldn't feel that way.

1:11:59

Just. is because you would feel that way doesn't mean I'm gonna feel that

1:12:02

way. So I realized that just because

1:12:04

his things, things that he sweat that I

1:12:06

thought were small things to me weren't big,

1:12:09

didn't take away from the fact that it still

1:12:11

bothered him. So you guys

1:12:13

need to come to some sort of understanding about

1:12:15

what these things are and what the underlying issues

1:12:18

are. And understanding that just because

1:12:20

something doesn't bother you doesn't mean that it's

1:12:22

small. For example, I

1:12:24

cut Jackson's hair when he was one. The

1:12:26

Dean had a conniption. Sure did. I thought

1:12:28

it wasn't a big deal. And if I just said to her, I think

1:12:30

it's small, she'd have been upset about

1:12:33

it. Just because it's not a big deal

1:12:35

to you doesn't mean you can call it

1:12:37

small or something else. To somebody else. Yeah,

1:12:39

so then it might be the biggest thing ever in life.

1:12:42

I hope you guys actually seek real

1:12:44

help though. Or all we can do

1:12:46

is give you advice based on a little

1:12:48

bit of context we gave, but please seek help

1:12:50

guys. For sure. All right,

1:12:53

y'all keep writing in. If you

1:12:55

wanna be featured as one of

1:12:57

our listener letters, one of these good

1:12:59

old days, Shribble might just pick

1:13:01

you, all right? Email us at

1:13:03

deadassadvice@gmail.com. That's D-E-A-D-A-S-S-A-D-V-I-C-E at gmail.com.

1:13:06

All righty, moment of truth time.

1:13:09

We're talking men with mama issues.

1:13:11

Yes, my moment of truth is once again,

1:13:13

very simple, right? Even if you had a

1:13:15

great mom, like I had a great mom,

1:13:17

right? I think it's important for everyone to

1:13:19

go back and look at your relationship with

1:13:21

your mom, especially if you're planning on having

1:13:23

relationships with women and see how your relationship

1:13:25

with your mom can rear its head with

1:13:27

the women that you date, the women that

1:13:29

you choose to even entertain, and how you

1:13:31

just treat women in general. Even not the

1:13:33

women that you're dating, but just women in

1:13:35

general, because you'll find that the way

1:13:38

your mom raised you or didn't raise you

1:13:40

or nurtured you or didn't nurture you definitely

1:13:42

affects how you see all women in your

1:13:44

life. For sure. I'm thinking it

1:13:46

from the mom perspective, since I'm a mom

1:13:48

with four boys, and I would encourage moms

1:13:50

because I can understand that later

1:13:52

on in life when my boys

1:13:54

are men, they may say, mom, you did this or you

1:13:56

didn't do that, that made me feel this way, and it

1:13:59

may be impossible for all of us. all four boys to

1:14:01

feel my intentions as a

1:14:03

mother. But I do want to encourage those

1:14:05

moms out there, particularly moms

1:14:07

of boys, because we're speaking about men with mommy

1:14:09

issues, just to try to find a balance, try

1:14:11

to find that sweet spot between

1:14:13

being that nurturer who cares, who loves on

1:14:16

these children, but also the disciplinarian as well,

1:14:18

who wants to kind of rule with somewhat

1:14:20

of an iron fist so that we're raising

1:14:22

strong men as well, but who are emotionally

1:14:24

aware and sound and know how to treat

1:14:27

themselves and treat the others around them, and

1:14:29

particularly women if they do decide to get

1:14:31

into a relationship with a woman later. Definitely.

1:14:34

All righty, y'all be sure to follow us

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on Patreon to get exclusive dead ass podcast

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1:14:45

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1:14:47

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1:14:49

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1:14:52

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1:14:54

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