Episode Transcript
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32:00
was a disciplinary aspect that those
32:02
kids know. 12 years in business,
32:04
not one incident, with multiple gangs
32:06
all coming to train at the
32:08
same time. Multiple teams who
32:11
hate each other, who are on
32:13
Instagram and Snapchat threatening each other
32:16
and there were incidents outside of the gym where
32:18
there was violence, not one incident in the gym.
32:20
And I'm proud of that, but I also knew
32:22
that that came from the discipline we instilled in
32:24
them. And the reason why I'm prefacing
32:27
that, why when I tell the story is because
32:29
this young man came to me and he was
32:31
in high school and he was
32:33
always late. And
32:35
I'm just like, yo, what, like you can't get
32:37
right. Like you have to be here on time.
32:39
And then when he would come on time, he
32:41
would like forget his book or something. And it
32:43
was always something. And I was big on being
32:45
detail oriented and being accountable and responsible. So I'm
32:47
screaming at him and everyone has to run because
32:49
of him and it got to the point where
32:51
other people was like, yo, just don't come if
32:53
you're gonna be late because we all gotta run.
32:56
He came every single day, even
32:59
on days when he wasn't supposed to be there because we
33:02
had six days a week training. Everyone
33:05
was responsible to come three days a week. He
33:07
came all six days, remember that. He
33:10
came all six days, right? So
33:12
now it gets to a point where I sit down with
33:14
him and I'm like, you know, you promised me you got
33:17
to be here on time, da, da, da, da. He says
33:19
yes, the next week he comes late twice. I scream at
33:21
him, I curse at him like a coach does, get out,
33:23
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he doesn't argue, he
33:25
just leaves. But then he comes back
33:27
the next day. And I'm
33:29
like, yo, I told you not to come back. You can't get
33:32
here on time. I said, what's the problem? He
33:34
said, to be honest, Coach Duval, when
33:36
I get out of school, I have to go
33:38
get my, man, this is
33:40
even like thinking about it. It's like, he's
33:45
a high school. He had to get his eight
33:47
year old sister who went to school in Marine
33:49
Park. They only had one
33:52
swipe on their bus pass to
33:54
get home. He would run from
33:56
his school in East New
33:59
York. to Marine
34:01
Park and him and his sister would
34:03
run to the gym. I
34:06
said this whole time, your sister's here? Where's
34:09
your sister? First of all, that's wild. Running from
34:11
East New York to Marine Park is wild. He
34:14
used to run down flatlands, run down flatlands,
34:16
get to Ralph Avenue, get to Marine Park,
34:18
pick his sister up, run back
34:21
to Packplex. Right, because it was right
34:23
at, okay. And that's why he was always late. I said, why
34:25
didn't you tell me? He was like, you said you don't take no
34:27
excuses. And I'm like. I
34:31
said, that's not even an excuse. That's your
34:33
reality. Right. So then he gets
34:35
there. I said, where's your sister? Right?
34:39
I said, why didn't you tell me your sister was here?
34:41
He said, you told me we couldn't
34:43
bring any young ladies with us. I
34:46
said, yeah, no girlfriends. I didn't
34:48
want anyone bringing girlfriends. You know
34:50
what I'm saying? Right, right. So then he brings his sister.
34:52
I see the young girl and I'm like, you used
34:54
to run for Marine Park here. She
34:57
was just like, yeah, but it wasn't bad. Sometimes
34:59
we just try not to get hit by
35:01
cars and stuff. But I'm like, oh my
35:03
gosh, bro. I felt so bad. Right. You
35:05
know what I'm saying? Here's where it tripped me out though.
35:09
He would get in
35:11
trouble for staying late. If he did get there
35:14
on time, I totally had to be out of
35:16
the building by eight o'clock. Because my biggest issue
35:18
is if it gets dark and you're traveling now
35:20
late, then something will happen.
35:23
It would be 8.39 o'clock. He's still
35:25
in there and I'm screaming at him, right? I said,
35:27
why did you stay late? If you knew you had
35:29
your sister here, we have
35:31
no electricity in the house. The only way I
35:33
can charge my phone and she
35:35
can finish her homework is if we stayed here
35:37
and we used the electricity. Bruh.
35:41
Weeping, okay. When I tell you, man, I felt
35:43
so bad. But here's the crazy part. I met
35:45
his mom. The
35:48
hardest working, sweet,
35:51
most nicest person. And the reason why
35:53
he was the way he was, especially
35:56
with his sister and those pieces was because
35:58
of who his mom was. because
36:00
he could have easily been a little shit and he
36:02
could have came in with a bad attitude. I had
36:05
a bunch of little shit. I know. With
36:07
single moms. Yeah, yeah. I had a bunch of little
36:09
shits with both day parents. Right. And
36:12
this kid, when I tell you he graduated, got
36:15
a scholarship, went to school, got his degree, he's
36:17
now working. When I tell
36:19
you every time he hits me up on Instagram was like,
36:21
yo, Coach D, I see you doing your thing, none of
36:23
that, I'm like, no, I see you doing your thing. Oh
36:25
my gosh. And now guess what his sister does? But
36:29
she runs track. She runs
36:31
track. I was like, let
36:33
me get, let me, she runs track. She runs
36:35
track, man. She's in school now. She's gonna
36:37
grab it from school. She got a degree. And the best
36:40
part about it is, no, she didn't get
36:42
a track scholarship to go to USC. And
36:44
no, but she got her degree paid for. Yeah.
36:46
And she's running track and they're just good kids.
36:48
Right. And the product of a good mom. The
36:50
product of a good mom. Who's just doing the
36:52
best that she can probably. And yeah. To make
36:55
ends meet. Yeah. And my ex-ster, you know,
36:57
what happened to their dad and her dad passed away.
36:59
The dad passed away. So they seemed
37:02
like they were just a really, really good family. And
37:04
the dad passed away and she was required to just
37:06
take care of everything. And she was doing the best
37:08
that she could. She had just got
37:10
her nursing degree. So she was picking up a
37:12
bunch of hours to be able to pay for
37:14
everything. But they lived right there in Bayview projects.
37:18
And I was just like, like
37:20
for me, it was just like, like it
37:22
was eye-opening about how important it is to have,
37:25
for a young man to have their mom. Because
37:27
I seen, when her mom, when
37:30
their mom came, cause I called her, I said, hey, I'm
37:32
gonna keep your kids with me. I'm
37:34
not gonna let them walk or get
37:36
to the bus or do everything. Not Bayview,
37:39
Brookline. What's the other? I
37:42
don't know. Okay, Brookline, because Brookline, they
37:44
would take the B82 straight home. So
37:46
I'm not gonna take them. So she came and the first thing
37:48
she did when she came and she
37:51
saw her kids was hug her
37:53
kids. And she's like, coach Deval, I
37:55
thought something was wrong. I thought they did something trouble. But it was the
37:58
fact that she came in them.
38:00
Most moms when I called them and said there was an
38:03
issue, the first thing they kid and they swinging and cussing
38:05
and you know I had to do and why the coach
38:07
got her calling me but she didn't come in and do
38:09
that. She came in and hugged
38:11
her kids first like when I said hug them, crest
38:13
their face, you okay, kiss them on the forehead and
38:15
I was like wow like
38:18
like this was I didn't
38:20
receive that type when they called my
38:22
mom for school it was hell.
38:24
Because the valentine deal of his homework that he was
38:26
supposed to do. Yo my mom was not coming in
38:28
there with no you know my son no my mother
38:31
used to come in and look me right in my
38:33
face. But one thing she
38:35
was was consistent because if you call and you
38:37
had an issue with the teacher then she came
38:39
in with guns blearing too. You cannot play, remember
38:41
I said my mother's a thug? With the lucky
38:43
bucks and all that. You can't play with Karen
38:45
Ellis. You I called my mom because they kicked
38:47
me out of class because me
38:50
and the teacher Miss Rosen she's a Jewish
38:52
lady it was during Black History Month and
38:54
we were still doing Anne Frank in the
38:56
Holocaust and I asked the question I'm 13
38:59
years old I say I have a question
39:01
why are we still doing Anne Frank during
39:03
Black History Month and she started screaming how
39:05
dare you how dare you the Holocaust was
39:07
the biggest atrocity to ever happen in mankind
39:09
and I said well I beg
39:11
to differ slavery was pretty bad as well and
39:13
she kicked me out of class so
39:16
I called my mom. You
39:18
know who showed up the same
39:21
day? Not wait till
39:23
tomorrow with a trench coat on. My
39:25
mother left work and
39:27
let that woman have it and let the whole
39:29
school have it right and that's why I say
39:31
like when I talk about I have mommy issues
39:34
it's not because I had a bad mom it
39:36
was like my mom was a disciplinarian right the
39:38
lack of affection I got from my mom rears
39:41
his head with you sometimes because all I want to
39:43
do is... I was just about to transition to me
39:45
and how I've been affected by it. All I want
39:47
to do is... Not necessarily to go the bad way
39:49
but it's just like we realize where those deficits were
39:51
and how the compensation now falls on me and if
39:53
I fall short of that too then it becomes a
39:55
reminder of your mom. Yes. Which is
39:57
not healthy either. I just want
39:59
to hug. I just want you to hug
40:02
me. I love to make out
40:04
and every time it doesn't always have to go
40:06
to sex, but I just want my
40:08
wife. I want to like last night you
40:10
probably felt me on you the whole time.
40:12
You woke up this morning I'm
40:14
just rubbing on your booty and you just like
40:16
look up at me and I'm just rubbing on
40:18
your booty I'm half sleep, but I just that feeling
40:21
of being nurtured Yeah, you know what I'm saying
40:23
that I felt like I missed out on my
40:25
childhood Reared its head and
40:27
feeling like I wasn't appreciated and sometimes that I
40:29
was only here just to do work to do
40:31
stuff Yeah, made me made me feel away like
40:33
I got defensive and growing up in adult when
40:36
I when I used to hear women speak About
40:38
the stuff they required from men I used to
40:40
automatically get defensive and be like y'all require all
40:42
it is but I don't hear nobody saying what
40:44
you're gonna Do for me as a man because
40:47
I watched my mom also like my
40:50
mom was not super affectionate to my pops And
40:53
knowing what I know now the way they grew
40:55
up my parents are very conservative Mm-hmm, so they
40:58
don't they I never saw them like canoodle or
41:00
do anything and when my father did try my
41:02
mom was like Troy Troy, but she's like the
41:04
kids were there. Yeah, you know I'm saying but
41:06
that affected me Cuz I'm like, you know, like
41:09
you don't mind when my dad is giving you
41:11
gifts You don't mind when he's taking you places
41:13
But when he tries to be affection you have
41:16
a problem with that that always stuck with me
41:18
and gave me issues You know
41:20
like you and I all the time
41:22
when I'm just like yo, so I can't argue
41:24
today I can't you gonna tell me no and
41:26
tell me to stop in front of the kids.
41:28
No, I'm not doing that No, I mean I
41:30
get this point we don't yeah These kids are
41:32
gonna see they might love when they dad and
41:34
they don't see they dad love on a mom
41:36
Because they need to understand that this also happens
41:38
in a relationship right a relationship isn't this transactional
41:40
thing, right? Where it's like I buy you gifts
41:42
and you make me food and you fold my
41:44
laundry and I take you on trips No, right
41:49
And I want the boys to know that no for sure
41:51
cuz it's definitely like a radical love situation that we have
41:53
going on here and The
41:55
boys exposure to that, you know, we had
41:57
gotten some backlash in the past about you
41:59
being too touchy feely or the boys being
42:01
exposed to that. But then that's also people's,
42:04
their own issues and
42:06
their own perceptions and their own perspectives that
42:08
they're putting on the situation. It's not over-sexualizing
42:10
it, it's just showing the love and care
42:12
and then doing it within the context where
42:14
we show our boys and we tell our
42:16
boys that this is within a marriage, which
42:19
is a consensual relationship that both people are
42:21
in agreement with this happening too. So
42:23
that's how everything is coded, particularly with
42:25
us and the boys. One thing I
42:27
have to also thank your mom for
42:30
is you not wanting to wash
42:33
a dish or do
42:35
it for the laundry. That was my mom and
42:37
grandma. Because you literally, Deval had to do it
42:39
like since he was nine. So when it came
42:41
to being adult, Deval was just like, I'm not
42:44
gonna do it, I rather hire someone to do
42:46
it. He's like, you don't have
42:48
to do it all, Kay, I'm not expecting you to
42:50
wash every dish and wash every drawer, but what I'm
42:52
gonna do is hire someone to
42:54
do it. I said to your mom when
42:56
she was here one day, I was just like, you realize that
42:59
like, your son was
43:01
traumatized with keeping a clean house. And the funny thing
43:03
is you do, when we keep a clean house for the most
43:05
part, I mean, then again, this is not our house. We trash
43:07
it anyway, but we try our best to
43:09
keep a clean house and then like Deval won't do
43:11
certain things because he's had to do it as a
43:13
child and it was trauma. And he just is like,
43:15
I'm not doing certain things at all.
43:18
Absolutely. Even
43:22
before nine, because my grandmother, she had
43:24
white carpet, we talked about this, white
43:26
carpet in her kitchen, into her den.
43:29
And that was the space where most people
43:31
came. And if that carpet was dirty, she
43:33
was handing out lashes with the flyswatter belt
43:35
or the slipper. My grandmother didn't
43:37
play. So, and she also told us, y'all
43:40
gonna be here for eight weeks in the
43:42
summertime. I'm not getting up every morning and
43:44
making y'all breakfast. So from as early as
43:46
seven, I remember making my own pancakes, waffles,
43:49
eggs, French toast, because I remember that she
43:51
taught us how to do it. And it was
43:53
me, my cousin, Devaun, and my cousin, and my brother
43:55
Brian. And we would, at first it was the three
43:57
of us. Then my sister Tori was...
44:00
born nine years later, so we were responsible to take
44:02
care of her. So every
44:04
summer, we had to wake up first
44:06
thing in the morning, we had to cut the grass twice
44:08
a week, we had to clean out the
44:11
gutters, we had to do all the things that men
44:13
were supposed to do while my grandfather was at
44:15
work. Nana was like, yo, I ain't
44:17
doing it. I'm not, yeah. I got all these boys
44:20
here. You see that lawn out there, an acre of
44:22
land, with all the, get a clean, every leaf out
44:24
of that lawn. And then it was like, y'all hungry,
44:26
make your own food. If y'all wanna
44:28
go to the Boys and Girls Club, I'll take y'all there. But
44:30
then once we started driving, she was like, take y'all self
44:32
there. So for me, it was
44:34
just like, man. It was teaching independence, really. It was.
44:37
Ultimately from early, which is a true testament
44:39
to who you are specifically to this day.
44:41
Absolutely. Like that's literally like a correlation between
44:43
you being raised the way you were raised
44:45
and who you are as an adult male.
44:48
Absolutely. So I think a lot of your success is attributed
44:51
to that. Something's of course, just your... I
44:54
would say 90% of my success was attributed
44:56
to my mom and the way she did
44:58
things. My father's presence
45:00
was more, when
45:04
she told it to your mother, my mother's five too. You're
45:07
not really afraid. Like my mother
45:09
couldn't scare me. Now I was afraid
45:11
that in my sleep, she might cut me. Cause
45:14
my mother is really a thug and she
45:16
never showed any intimidation
45:20
by me and my brother. Like the minute we got
45:22
taller than her, she was like, don't look down on
45:24
me. And she would stand at the bottom two steps.
45:27
And she would say, come here, come here, come here.
45:30
And then we would have to walk to bottom two
45:32
stairs and she would be taller than us now. And
45:34
then she would be... I'm gonna use that one Ma.
45:36
Thanks. and you were in
45:38
the now. And she would be reading us the riot
45:41
act. And if we look
45:43
away, she grabbing our face and she was
45:45
demanding respect, which I understand in the house
45:47
where you got two huge
45:49
boys who lift weights, who play football, who
45:51
fought competitively and martial arts around the country.
45:53
Like she like, y'all not gonna think y'all
45:56
can beat me. But
45:58
sometimes I feel like her. feeling she
46:00
had to do that. She didn't really
46:02
show us any love and the nurturing.
46:04
And- So it's about finding,
46:06
you feel that maybe finding the balance. Or
46:08
if that's the takeaway as we raise boys
46:10
and listeners listening, it's like finding that balance.
46:13
You know, it's very important. All right, let's jump into
46:15
some facts and stats real quick before we take this
46:17
break. Most of which I think we kind of touched
46:19
on a little bit during conversation here, which
46:22
was heavily, I guess you telling your story, because I don't know
46:24
what it's like to have mommy issues as a boy, but
46:27
mommy issues are- One thing is you have mommy issues as a woman
46:29
too. Oh yeah, that could be a whole nother episode in the south
46:31
too. Mommy issues refers to
46:33
the psychological effects of a child's early
46:36
relationship with their mother, which can continue
46:38
into adulthood. And some signs of this
46:40
mommy hood and men include, entitlement, they
46:42
may feel entitled if their mother was
46:45
overindulgent or controlling. Infidelity,
46:47
they may cheat on their partners to fill an
46:49
emotional void that may have been left by their
46:51
mother. Low self-esteem, they may
46:53
have negative self-talk and feel paralyzed by
46:56
fear or rejection. This is something that
46:58
we've seen in a couple of
47:00
kids recently. Yes. Clinginess,
47:02
they may have a tendency to cling
47:04
to others. Intimacy struggles with an intimacy.
47:06
I have prototype kids that I can
47:08
name all of these. All
47:11
of these, I have family members. Family members, yeah. That
47:13
I can name different ones for all of these. Yep.
47:16
Difficulty, oh, anxiety is one that I skipped.
47:18
Anxiety, they may feel anxious when they get
47:21
close to people. Difficulty getting
47:23
to know others. They may have difficulty
47:25
letting others know themselves, or I guess
47:27
letting them in. Always
47:29
needing to stay in contact with their mother,
47:32
never wanting anything to do with their mother,
47:34
which is the reverse of that. Being
47:36
disrespectful towards women, feeling insecure or often
47:38
suspicious. I wanna jump in on that.
47:41
Being disrespectful towards women. A lot of
47:43
the young men who I saw, whose
47:46
moms tried to lead with
47:49
a masculine energy as
47:51
they were going through adolescence, because they felt
47:53
like, I have to show him
47:55
I'm the dominant one in the house. 99% of those
47:57
young men grew up to
48:00
be disrespectful to women, because they felt like
48:03
their moms, the way their mom talked to
48:05
them was the norm. So they spoke to
48:07
everybody that way. They didn't just disrespect women,
48:10
they disrespected everyone. But it was
48:12
more prevalent with women because you're
48:15
a man. You know, you talk
48:17
to a man disrespectful, it's fisticuff,
48:19
something's gonna happen, you know what I'm saying? But
48:21
when you talk to a woman like that or
48:23
your woman like that, she's smaller than you, she
48:25
might kinda cower a little bit. Or
48:27
you find a woman that's like your mom
48:30
and you talk disrespectful, so now she being
48:32
disrespectful. Disrespectful too, Sarah was going to talk
48:34
to her too. And now y'all in this
48:36
toxic relationship that you think is normal, because
48:38
your mom let you believe that being disrespectful
48:41
was a sign of love. Right, think about
48:43
another toxic relationship between mother and son can
48:45
be the mother acting like this is her
48:47
man. How many times have we seen
48:49
that? Oedipus complex, Oedipus complex. Well yes,
48:52
exactly, baby boy. Baby boy is a perfect
48:54
example. Absolutely, it's just like, yo, this is
48:56
not your man, sis, this is your son
48:58
that you're raising. You know, there has to
49:00
be a stark difference. You know. I
49:02
know. I know, you know, I see your face, you know. Always
49:05
doubting others' loves, and that could be probably because
49:07
you feel like mom's love is stronger or not,
49:11
just doubting in general. Expecting
49:13
a partner to pamper them, constantly
49:16
taking care of them, being
49:19
the responsibility of their partner, being
49:21
violent towards women, being
49:24
misogynistic towards women, controlling women,
49:26
and demanding constant attention and
49:28
loyalty from women. So
49:31
a huge trickle down effect happens here. These are
49:33
all issues that come from money
49:36
issues, and to be
49:38
honest, I'm not speaking just to young
49:41
men. I'm also speaking to young women, because if
49:43
you aspire to be a mom,
49:46
you have just as much responsibility to create
49:49
good, sustainable human beings. As these human beings,
49:51
these young men have a responsibility to be
49:53
better people. So it works hand in
49:55
hand. We as a community of people all have to work
49:58
harder to be better so that
50:00
we... can just introduce new
50:02
ways of communicating and new ways of
50:04
existing on the planet without being so...
50:08
So I hate to say the word toxic because it's
50:11
overused. It feels so overused, but... But that is
50:13
the truth. It's literally what it is. Like I had
50:15
a mom tell her son, tell me, she's
50:18
screaming, cursing her son all the time. And I
50:20
said, why
50:23
do you feel you gotta speak to him like that? In
50:25
order for him to get it across? And she was like, I love
50:27
him. If I just let him go
50:29
out in the world and think the world is this and this and that,
50:32
then I'm not showing him no love. It's because
50:34
I'm hard on him and because I do this, I'm
50:36
showing him that I love him. And I said, I
50:38
understand in her mind how she views that, but
50:41
she doesn't realize the residue of all of
50:43
that, how it leaves him. Or the lack
50:45
of balance. Like you can be that sometimes,
50:47
but then in other times,
50:49
like you gotta know how to like not
50:51
tip the skill either way too much. Do
50:55
you think that, or why do you think,
50:58
this is a good one. Why do you think that
51:00
people talk more about women having daddy issues
51:02
than we talk about men having mommy issues?
51:05
I'm thinking, I'm gonna ask you this, but my
51:07
idea is that women are always labeled
51:09
the more emotional ones. So we
51:12
are more apt to, if anything,
51:14
speak about or be more
51:16
vocal about how the daddy issues may have
51:18
affected us. Or also too, when you look
51:20
at women and you see a girl who
51:23
may be conducting herself in a certain way, you say,
51:25
oh, the father wasn't in the house because that's something
51:27
people see. Whereas men
51:29
are not always encouraged to, or historically haven't
51:31
been encouraged to speak about their emotions and
51:33
how they feel and mental health and things
51:36
like that. So I'm wondering if that's one
51:38
of the reasons why we
51:40
don't hear as much about daddy or women
51:43
having, men having mommy issues. I think
51:45
it's twofold. I think number one, we're
51:47
super hypercritical of women. We've
51:49
always been hypercritical of women. There are parents, how
51:52
they act and being emotional. That's number one. Since
51:54
we're hypercritical of women, we spend more of our
51:56
time as a community of people. But
51:58
what we did in the past, it's definitely. changing now
52:00
because you do social media, but
52:03
you always hear like she has the problem,
52:05
she has the problem. I also
52:07
think conversely, which is not healthy at all,
52:10
men weren't allowed to express feelings. Because
52:12
if you expressed your feelings, you were
52:15
considered soft or less manly. So
52:17
since we were taught from young to just
52:19
not express our feelings and be cold, when
52:22
you grow up and it's like, what's your problem? I have no problem.
52:25
Being stoic and being even is the
52:27
manly thing. So since you're not allowed
52:29
to express those emotional issues, it
52:31
was almost as if they didn't exist. When
52:34
all they did was exist internally and they
52:36
festered until that man lashed out, and then
52:38
when that man lashed out, they treated it
52:40
as if it was an anomaly.
52:43
When realistically this isn't an anomaly, a lot
52:46
of these men have these issues coming from
52:48
their moms, and
52:50
we're just not allowed to talk about it, which is
52:52
why I wanna talk about it. Right, and which made
52:54
perfect sense today. And I'm even thinking, sometimes we have
52:57
our all girls episode, it would
52:59
be interesting because I would wanna know if
53:01
you have any other young men or men
53:03
around you that would be
53:05
open to speaking about how their mom
53:07
has affected them, whether
53:09
it's good or bad. That would be an
53:11
interesting conversation amongst men. When we did the
53:14
dad gang event, I think it was two
53:16
years ago here, there was a point where
53:18
all of the guys got together and talked about how
53:20
our moms affected who we were as
53:22
parents, who we were as
53:25
spouses. Shout out to the
53:27
dad gang, that's a great space for you all to do
53:29
that in. Oh, yeah, absolutely, the dad gang, shout out to
53:31
my boy, Sean. Actually, that's Josh's boy, Sean. They kept us
53:33
together. But it
53:36
was funny how the conversation navigated
53:39
to that without us even trying. Like
53:42
we were sitting there talking, it was just like, because what happened
53:44
was there was an announcement of
53:46
one of the dads, I can't remember who, was having a
53:48
daughter. And we were
53:51
talking about our role as fathers
53:53
raising daughters. And at the time, I
53:56
only had three sons at the time
53:58
and you were pregnant. And they
54:00
were talking about the value. If you have a girl, how would
54:03
you raise them? And we started
54:05
talking about how we would raise our
54:07
daughters in a way that they
54:09
would be able to raise us the
54:12
way we wanted to be raised
54:14
so we could be better people. You
54:16
know what I'm saying? So it was just
54:18
like, you know, I'm raising my daughter with
54:20
intention that if she chooses that she wants
54:22
to be a wife and a mom, she
54:25
understands that you have a responsibility because
54:27
you're gonna be raising a generation of
54:29
a man or a young woman that
54:32
you're responsible for. And everything that I'm doing to you
54:34
now is going to affect that young person. That's a
54:36
fact. And I mean, we were deliberate about that. And
54:38
we were all talking about my mom this. And that's
54:40
what made me think about it too. And I was
54:42
just like, man, all of these young men are very
54:44
deliberate. And you know what I'm thinking about them being
54:46
deliberate? You know what we all said? Our mothers were
54:49
deliberate. Like our mothers were
54:51
like- One thing we will be is- Deliberate.
54:54
Do things this way. Women have an insight
54:56
and men have a foresight. The insight in
54:58
those moments as you're being raised are really
55:01
what matter because they clearly carry you on
55:03
through the rest of your manhood and your
55:05
adulthood. All right, now it feels like
55:07
a good time to take a little break and
55:09
then we'll come back with listening letters. So stick around.
55:19
Babe. Yeah, babe. Do
55:21
you think they can hear us? Yeah, those
55:23
are like mics. Guys, we are back. We
55:25
are so excited. It is season two of
55:27
your favorite New Girl rewatch podcast. We have
55:29
got a new season, we got a new
55:31
name, and we got a brand new episode
55:33
every week starting July 2nd. Yeah, I am
55:35
so excited for you folks to check out
55:37
this mess around. When I say it's gonna
55:40
get weird, I mean it's gonna get weird.
55:42
Just save it for the show. Okay, that's
55:44
probably for the best. We've got some of
55:46
your favorite people from the New Girl universe.
55:48
We've got the creator and showrunner, Liz Merriweather.
55:50
We got the Max Greenfield, Olivia Munn. We
55:52
also have some of your least favorites, like
55:54
Jake Johnson. No, no, I'm just
55:56
saying, like, if you're listing off your favorites, like, he'd be, he's
55:59
still a favorite. You just had a what's up?
56:01
We do have big jobs and stuff. Yeah. Listen
56:03
to the mess around on the I Heart Radio
56:05
app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
56:09
From KT Studios, the number
56:12
one podcast, the
56:14
Idaho Massacre is back.
56:16
The new developments in the University of Idaho
56:18
murder case. It
56:21
was an unimaginable crime. In
56:23
the early morning of November 13th, 2022, four
56:27
University of Idaho students killed.
56:33
Police have no suspect and no
56:35
murder weapon. A nationwide manhunt captivates
56:38
the world. Moscow
56:40
PD saying today they're now looking for
56:43
a white Honda Elantra. Then a shocking
56:45
arrest. There is now a
56:47
suspect in custody. This is a PhD
56:49
student in criminology. This is the guy.
56:53
Will he be found innocent? He claims he
56:55
has an alibi. Or
56:58
face death. Listen
57:01
to season two of the Idaho Massacre on
57:03
the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or
57:05
wherever you get your podcasts.
57:08
Welcome, welcome, welcome to another exciting
57:11
episode of the Trap Nerds podcast.
57:13
This is not an episode. It's
57:15
a promo. You know what it
57:18
is? Promo time. We in this
57:20
piece. Trap Nerds, Trap Nerds. Real
57:23
n*** like it never hurt. Join
57:25
the Trap Nerds podcast every Monday and listen to
57:28
us discuss all things inside and out of Blurred
57:30
Culture. So, well, Quentin Tarantino squashes his beef with
57:32
Marvel and be like, I got this. See how
57:34
I mean to push out the road. We'll see
57:37
how I be down with this. Make
57:39
you know it could be a charades. With
57:41
the best movie and TV reviews from a
57:43
Blurred perspective. I think if
57:45
both of them hadn't got fired, Kevin
57:48
probably could be in trouble right now.
57:50
Freeze. We giving you reliable gaming news
57:52
and real genuine game reviews. I'll
57:54
stand for lightning. Why does she have three games?
57:57
Cause she a bad. I
57:59
hate you so much. Listen to the
58:01
Trap Nurse podcast on the Black Effect
58:03
podcast network, our heart radio app, Apple
58:05
Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
58:11
All right, we are back and we're
58:13
rolling right into these listener letters. I
58:16
guess I'll jump in and start with the first one. Hey,
58:18
Cadena and the Val, it's Brie, writing from Texas.
58:20
What up Brie from Texas? First,
58:23
I would like to say I love your family
58:25
and I'm truly inspired, and you're truly inspired to,
58:27
oh my goodness, and I'm truly inspired to have one of my
58:30
own one day. Okay, so boom, I'm 23 years
58:32
old and recently my father has
58:34
popped back into my life after being absent for
58:36
21 of those years. Wow,
58:39
so only two years with dad. My
58:41
mom did an amazing job raising me on her own.
58:43
I never wanted or needed for anything because of her.
58:45
That brings me to say that over the past few
58:48
months, my father and I have had communication more than
58:50
ever before,
58:52
but it's still not enough for me.
58:55
He and my mother seem to be rekindling
58:57
a friendship slash relationship, quote
58:59
unquote. And I'm not sure
59:01
how I feel about it simply because they're
59:03
acting oblivious to the years of his absence
59:05
and the hurt that he has caused me.
59:08
Imagine living 20 minutes from your father and
59:10
seeing him and your siblings maybe once every
59:13
two years. Mind you, my
59:15
parents were high school sweethearts who had me
59:17
in college, but split shortly after. My
59:20
father was able to finish school, marry a
59:22
woman who was not fond of myself or
59:24
my mother. Are you picking up what
59:26
I'm putting down? And that's what
59:28
she said. And went on to
59:30
have two of my siblings, all
59:32
while my mother put her life on hold for me.
59:36
That woman is my hero and I understand
59:38
that I cannot tell her who she can
59:40
and cannot forgive, but it's hard when you
59:42
watch your single mother pick up the slack
59:44
to raise you because your father chose to
59:46
be absent and let his wife dictate the
59:48
relationship with his oldest child, a daughter at
59:50
that. In
59:52
my daddy issue opinion, he should
59:54
be hauling ass towards a relationship
59:56
with me rather than fixing one
59:59
with my mother. I feel as
1:00:01
though the interactions that my father and I
1:00:03
have are for brownie points for my mother
1:00:05
and not genuinely for
1:00:07
our Relationship growth so it's difficult
1:00:09
very difficult to accept Maybe
1:00:12
it's the Virgo in me. My
1:00:14
mom continues to call me a brat That
1:00:17
girl be for real. That's what she said too because
1:00:20
of how I'm acting But she simply doesn't
1:00:22
understand my point of view which
1:00:24
has now put a strain on our relationship.
1:00:26
Yeah The feelings that
1:00:28
I have tucked away over the years are
1:00:31
now resurfacing I honestly don't know if it's
1:00:33
jealousy anger or just plain hurt. Should
1:00:35
I be happy for my mother? Am
1:00:37
I selfish if I'm not are my
1:00:39
feelings valid? What advice would
1:00:42
you give me on handling these emotions
1:00:44
and unhealed trauma? Thank you guys Wow,
1:00:47
what a loaded situation. I'm not a lot of
1:00:49
topic is I'm biased
1:00:52
because three of the closest people
1:00:54
to me Are dealing with baby
1:00:56
mothers who are purposely trying to keep their children
1:00:59
away from them and have kept their children away
1:01:01
from them one For over a year one
1:01:03
for over three months and one they have to go
1:01:05
to court right now And these are
1:01:08
good men who want to be fathers who are fighting just
1:01:10
to be in their children's life and their
1:01:12
moms are keeping them away For
1:01:15
leverage for whatever reasons they have so I'm
1:01:17
biased because it's hard for me to hear
1:01:19
any story like this and automatically Jump on
1:01:21
the dude and be like he should be
1:01:23
doing this. He should be doing that I
1:01:25
watch these men do everything to be in
1:01:27
their children's lives and still get fucked one
1:01:29
by the court system and two by that
1:01:31
Woman who is scorned for whatever reason? You
1:01:34
know, so um, I don't want
1:01:36
to put my biased opinion on what I think
1:01:39
About this because I really still don't know enough context.
1:01:41
But what I will say is um People
1:01:46
especially children feel like parents owe
1:01:49
them something I know I do.
1:01:51
I feel like I didn't ask to come here. I'm
1:01:53
here if you're guilty pleasures like You
1:01:55
you owe me. I'm saying so I think she's
1:01:57
right. I feel like you should be trying to
1:01:59
build a relationship with me as opposed to my
1:02:02
mom. You know what I'm saying? I just
1:02:04
don't know what went on with him and
1:02:06
the mom that he was away. Right.
1:02:09
I don't know. So my follow up questions were,
1:02:11
what caused you and your mom and dad to
1:02:13
split? And it could be just college school because
1:02:15
he said the father went on to finish school,
1:02:17
but mom didn't. So was it just like, okay,
1:02:19
we had to split because we're trying to both
1:02:21
make something of ourselves and go to college and
1:02:23
then possibly rekindle, but then he meets homegirl and
1:02:25
then has two children with her. So
1:02:27
maybe there was really still some love there,
1:02:30
between her mom and dad and
1:02:32
the situation or the circumstances didn't allow for
1:02:34
them to be together. But I don't think
1:02:36
that takes away from the hurt that she
1:02:38
feels, you know, at this point. So if
1:02:40
things are now not working out with her
1:02:42
father's wife, who she has the two, he
1:02:44
has the two siblings with, and now he's
1:02:46
coming back to mom because they were legitimately
1:02:48
high school sweethearts and maybe again, immaturity, that
1:02:50
time of life, you
1:02:52
know, you're getting also the advice of
1:02:55
parents and other people around when you're
1:02:57
young, that also sometimes skews your decision-making
1:02:59
process. So that might've been the case
1:03:01
for her father and her mother. I
1:03:04
do agree with her though, in that
1:03:06
she should feel a way that her
1:03:08
father is not really actively making some
1:03:11
sort of effort and genuine effort at
1:03:13
that to make some sort
1:03:15
of relationship with her. I think if
1:03:17
he did exhibit the desire to
1:03:20
want a relationship with her and it
1:03:22
organically, authentically happened, that in itself would
1:03:24
probably drive her mom to say, wow,
1:03:27
like, look at how he's trying to
1:03:29
pour into our daughter again and build
1:03:31
this relationship and that might spark something
1:03:33
with them. But I think she
1:03:35
feels like the outsider in this circumstance because
1:03:37
they're canoodling and she's like, hey, what about
1:03:39
me? One thing I won't do, like
1:03:41
I said, because I know I'm gonna be biased because the
1:03:43
three people I'm talking about are dealing with these issues right
1:03:46
now. I don't wanna speak on the
1:03:48
mother and father relationship because anytime
1:03:50
you try to build a narrative around what
1:03:52
could be, it could also just not be
1:03:54
that. But I will say this though, all
1:03:56
of those three men that I'm talking about
1:03:59
are deliberate about. having relationships with their children.
1:04:01
And it seems like he dropped the ball on that.
1:04:04
Especially since they live 20 minutes away unless there was
1:04:06
a court order, which once again, we
1:04:08
don't know why 20 minutes away would
1:04:11
you not have a relationship with your daughter unless
1:04:13
there is a court order, in which case we knew with
1:04:15
one of the friends I'm talking about there was a court
1:04:17
order for a year where he couldn't see his daughter for
1:04:20
no other reason other than the mom was just lying.
1:04:23
But like- Or what if
1:04:25
her mom, unbeknownst to her, was
1:04:27
making it difficult for him and
1:04:30
his wife at the time. That's what I'm saying. And her mom
1:04:32
is not coming clean and saying, girl, I gave him away to
1:04:34
go. You see what I'm saying? And
1:04:36
that's why he's not even- That's why I'm saying it's
1:04:38
hard for me to create an idea of why the
1:04:40
parents, I wish he would
1:04:42
have done a better job of having
1:04:44
a relationship with his daughter because there's
1:04:47
no excuse for that unless there's a
1:04:49
court order. Or like in some of
1:04:51
the circumstances we see, it's causing more
1:04:53
issues for my current family to try
1:04:55
because every time I try, that
1:04:57
person is making it difficult for my wife
1:05:00
and my kids now. So
1:05:02
at some point it's like, what am I supposed to do
1:05:04
here? And it's just me as a
1:05:06
man. And I'm not judging
1:05:08
no man, I've never been through this. I've
1:05:10
watched one of my friends lose everything in
1:05:12
his savings trying to do this. I will
1:05:15
another one lose almost everything trying to get
1:05:17
back their child. And my brother is going
1:05:19
through it right now with his
1:05:22
baby's mother. But I will
1:05:24
say this, if it were me, there's nothing you can do to keep
1:05:26
me away from my child. I think
1:05:28
on both sides, men or women. Feel
1:05:30
the same way. There's just nothing you can
1:05:32
do to keep me away from my child. I hope
1:05:34
she's able to find reconciliation with her dad. I hope
1:05:37
so too. I think your feelings definitely are valid to
1:05:39
answer your questions. I don't
1:05:41
know if you should be happy for your mother.
1:05:43
I know how much you love your mother and
1:05:45
you feel like she was the one who really
1:05:47
carried you through all these years. But you can
1:05:49
acknowledge your feelings. And I think that you may
1:05:51
be better equipped with someone like a therapist who
1:05:53
can help you kind of unhash and really dig
1:05:55
deep and maybe involving your mom
1:05:57
and dad now. That may be a way
1:05:59
to bring you back. you guys together by
1:06:01
putting everybody in one room and say, okay,
1:06:03
mom, dad, here's how I
1:06:05
feel. You know what? That's it. Here's how
1:06:08
I feel. If she really wants understanding and
1:06:10
reconciliation, she should get them two in a
1:06:12
room. Since they want a canoodle now, can
1:06:15
y'all please let me know the history of what
1:06:17
happened during my life and my childhood? Like,
1:06:20
I just want to know how I lived 20 minutes
1:06:22
away from my dad and I wasn't able. And I
1:06:24
want you both in the room so y'all can tell
1:06:26
me the truth. Right, so we can know exactly what
1:06:28
it is. And I'm not judging. Nope. I
1:06:31
just want to know what happened the previous 20 years. So
1:06:33
I know how to move. I know how to move. Right,
1:06:35
that's it. I'm not going to blame anybody. Oh, you moved
1:06:37
that way because she did this. Oh, you moved that way
1:06:39
because he did that. Okay, I understand
1:06:42
now. I'm just a byproduct of YouTube being
1:06:44
young and immature. And I had
1:06:46
to deal with that. Now that I know why we're
1:06:48
here and what happened, it can help
1:06:50
me move forward. That's the best advice you say. She
1:06:53
should speak to both of them collectively, have a
1:06:55
mediator to make sure stuff stays good. So you're 23
1:06:58
now, so they can respect you as an adult and
1:07:00
say, hey, like, you don't want to hide anything anymore.
1:07:02
Like, I'm an adult, we're all adults here. And like
1:07:04
you said, no judgment. I just want to know. I
1:07:07
just want to know. So good luck to you, sis,
1:07:09
as you continue to heal and deal with these emotions.
1:07:11
I hope you can find some reconciliation with
1:07:14
your parents. Absolutely. Number two,
1:07:16
Dear Kadina Duval, I wrote this letter at 2
1:07:18
a.m. by my poolside with tears streaming down my
1:07:20
eyes. At least it's a poolside, baby. No, I'm
1:07:23
sorry. This is the second time my husband and
1:07:25
I had a physical fight in our relationship for
1:07:27
seven years. And this time it was
1:07:29
in front of our one-year-old baby. I
1:07:31
vowed to never be in a relationship that gets physical,
1:07:34
much less to have it occur in front of my
1:07:36
son. I cannot overcome the
1:07:38
guilt and shame I feel for having him witness
1:07:40
this crying, or because I decided to hold on
1:07:42
to him to take him and
1:07:45
prepare his midnight bottle, like I always
1:07:47
do, in aggression from an argument earlier.
1:07:50
But his father had already prepared one
1:07:52
and came in the room and asked
1:07:54
for the baby. I just
1:07:56
ignored him and went to the kitchen.
1:07:59
Then there he came, bulldozing me over
1:08:01
to collect the baby. So I pushed
1:08:03
him back and it went down from
1:08:05
there. It's so sad. My passive aggression
1:08:07
has become, has because, wait,
1:08:10
my passive aggression was because he called cursing
1:08:13
me out because I had my new
1:08:15
work employer put the parking sticker on
1:08:18
his car that I used and claims
1:08:20
is going to damage his tent. A
1:08:22
tent guys, PS. We switched cars because
1:08:24
of the distance and his is electric.
1:08:27
I never thought something so small and insignificant could
1:08:29
catapult because it really had nothing to do with
1:08:31
that. And catapult into this.
1:08:34
Khadine, don't bash me please.
1:08:36
He sweats the small stuff and
1:08:39
I'm so tired. Tell me what I know
1:08:41
and what I need to know please. Sign
1:08:45
seal. First of all, this is a domestic abuse. Like
1:08:52
this is nothing to be joking about. No, not at
1:08:54
all. Wow. This
1:08:57
is once again, man, sometimes you
1:08:59
guys write in with these things and we need
1:09:01
context. Yeah. We really want to help you guys.
1:09:04
And it would be better if we can hear
1:09:06
both sides. One thing I will
1:09:08
say though is that if you're at a point in
1:09:10
your marriage, seven years, it should
1:09:12
never get physical and it should never get to
1:09:14
a point where you're screaming and cursing at each
1:09:16
other. Yes, Khadine and I have talked
1:09:18
about times where we've screamed and cursed at each other.
1:09:21
Definitely. But when it gets to a point where
1:09:23
that leads to violence, both parties need
1:09:25
to really take heed of what's going on
1:09:27
here. Because based on even what she said,
1:09:30
he was bulldozing her. She pushed him. Right,
1:09:32
and the escalator from there. Somebody
1:09:35
at some point has to make a
1:09:37
choice to de-escalate. And it seems like
1:09:39
in this situation, neither party was willing
1:09:41
to de-escalate. I
1:09:45
understand that they have a one-year-old
1:09:47
son. One-year-old.
1:09:49
There are a lot more issues when you
1:09:51
have a one-year-old. Because you're dealing with sleep
1:09:53
deprivation. You're dealing with hormone changes. You're dealing
1:09:56
with the
1:09:58
lifestyle changing of YouTube. Because
1:10:00
it was just two of you, now it's three of you. And
1:10:02
there's someone else that you both have to consider. She
1:10:04
also said this is the second time that they had
1:10:06
a physical fight in their relationship of seven years. Right.
1:10:09
Like, so what happened prior to this one year
1:10:11
old baby? Right? went
1:10:13
to at least two years. So within that first, what, five
1:10:16
years? What happened that caused
1:10:18
that? And is there gonna be another? Because
1:10:20
if there was one, there's two. There's two, is
1:10:22
there gonna be three? And if they don't deal with their issues, there
1:10:24
will be a three. And why is it escalating to physical
1:10:26
violence? You know what I mean? Like, you
1:10:29
can yell, you can argue, you can scream, you can go
1:10:31
to your corners, but when it becomes physical, that's when it
1:10:33
becomes a big issue. So I think there really needs to
1:10:35
be a hashing out and a
1:10:37
digging down to see what exactly the root of
1:10:39
the issue is. Why are we resorting to violence?
1:10:42
Yeah. Because that's
1:10:44
not acceptable from either party. And that's from a
1:10:46
woman being physical to a man and vice versa.
1:10:48
And it seems like- Or person to person, it's
1:10:50
not even man and woman. There are certain
1:10:52
things here that I just think that is
1:10:54
just like passive aggressiveness is terrible and pettiness
1:10:56
is terrible. Him being upset about a
1:10:59
tint sticker probably
1:11:01
has nothing to do with the tint sticker. It has
1:11:04
everything to do with other unresolved issues that haven't been
1:11:06
dealt with. Her being passive aggressive
1:11:08
probably has nothing to do with the bottle
1:11:10
and everything to do with issues that have
1:11:12
not been dealt with. And if I'm being
1:11:14
honest, because this is no joking matter, physical
1:11:17
assault often leads to jail time or someone
1:11:19
being murdered, especially in domestic abuse. So
1:11:21
this has to be dealt with in young lady. I hope
1:11:23
you can hear us as we talk to you now. This
1:11:25
is not funny to us. Khadine
1:11:28
would never bash you on this and neither would
1:11:30
I. But it
1:11:32
says that you're tired. If you're tired,
1:11:34
seek help. This
1:11:37
is not something that a podcast can help you with. This
1:11:39
is something that you guys need to go get
1:11:42
professional help because if it extends to physical education,
1:11:44
it's beyond the scope of what we can help you guys with. This
1:11:46
is just the guys on this truth. And you say he
1:11:48
sweats the small stuff. It may be small
1:11:50
to you, but maybe it's not small to him. I had to learn
1:11:53
that with Duval. There were some things that I'm like, he'd
1:11:55
be like, if this happened to you or if I did this to you,
1:11:57
you would feel this pain. I'm like, actually, no, I wouldn't feel that way.
1:11:59
Just. is because you would feel that way doesn't mean I'm gonna feel that
1:12:02
way. So I realized that just because
1:12:04
his things, things that he sweat that I
1:12:06
thought were small things to me weren't big,
1:12:09
didn't take away from the fact that it still
1:12:11
bothered him. So you guys
1:12:13
need to come to some sort of understanding about
1:12:15
what these things are and what the underlying issues
1:12:18
are. And understanding that just because
1:12:20
something doesn't bother you doesn't mean that it's
1:12:22
small. For example, I
1:12:24
cut Jackson's hair when he was one. The
1:12:26
Dean had a conniption. Sure did. I thought
1:12:28
it wasn't a big deal. And if I just said to her, I think
1:12:30
it's small, she'd have been upset about
1:12:33
it. Just because it's not a big deal
1:12:35
to you doesn't mean you can call it
1:12:37
small or something else. To somebody else. Yeah,
1:12:39
so then it might be the biggest thing ever in life.
1:12:42
I hope you guys actually seek real
1:12:44
help though. Or all we can do
1:12:46
is give you advice based on a little
1:12:48
bit of context we gave, but please seek help
1:12:50
guys. For sure. All right,
1:12:53
y'all keep writing in. If you
1:12:55
wanna be featured as one of
1:12:57
our listener letters, one of these good
1:12:59
old days, Shribble might just pick
1:13:01
you, all right? Email us at
1:13:03
deadassadvice@gmail.com. That's D-E-A-D-A-S-S-A-D-V-I-C-E at gmail.com.
1:13:06
All righty, moment of truth time.
1:13:09
We're talking men with mama issues.
1:13:11
Yes, my moment of truth is once again,
1:13:13
very simple, right? Even if you had a
1:13:15
great mom, like I had a great mom,
1:13:17
right? I think it's important for everyone to
1:13:19
go back and look at your relationship with
1:13:21
your mom, especially if you're planning on having
1:13:23
relationships with women and see how your relationship
1:13:25
with your mom can rear its head with
1:13:27
the women that you date, the women that
1:13:29
you choose to even entertain, and how you
1:13:31
just treat women in general. Even not the
1:13:33
women that you're dating, but just women in
1:13:35
general, because you'll find that the way
1:13:38
your mom raised you or didn't raise you
1:13:40
or nurtured you or didn't nurture you definitely
1:13:42
affects how you see all women in your
1:13:44
life. For sure. I'm thinking it
1:13:46
from the mom perspective, since I'm a mom
1:13:48
with four boys, and I would encourage moms
1:13:50
because I can understand that later
1:13:52
on in life when my boys
1:13:54
are men, they may say, mom, you did this or you
1:13:56
didn't do that, that made me feel this way, and it
1:13:59
may be impossible for all of us. all four boys to
1:14:01
feel my intentions as a
1:14:03
mother. But I do want to encourage those
1:14:05
moms out there, particularly moms
1:14:07
of boys, because we're speaking about men with mommy
1:14:09
issues, just to try to find a balance, try
1:14:11
to find that sweet spot between
1:14:13
being that nurturer who cares, who loves on
1:14:16
these children, but also the disciplinarian as well,
1:14:18
who wants to kind of rule with somewhat
1:14:20
of an iron fist so that we're raising
1:14:22
strong men as well, but who are emotionally
1:14:24
aware and sound and know how to treat
1:14:27
themselves and treat the others around them, and
1:14:29
particularly women if they do decide to get
1:14:31
into a relationship with a woman later. Definitely.
1:14:34
All righty, y'all be sure to follow us
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on Patreon to get exclusive dead ass podcast
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family content. Let me tell you, since 2024
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much great content on Patreon, Deafy's 40th
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birthday, Jackson's 13th. There's
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just been so many things to watch and
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to tune into. So be sure to do
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that. And if you have not been following
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us yet on social media, hit us on
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