Episode Transcript
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0:00
["You Love a Thing"] You
0:02
love a thing and no
0:04
one picked up your thing And so you
0:06
bury the thing that's not the end of
0:09
the thing Don't you
0:11
let jazz yet there's a
0:13
spooky surprise And the group
0:15
cannot revise it The book
0:17
never really dies ["You
0:24
Love a Thing"] You get by the
0:26
society ["You Love
0:28
a Thing"] Welcome
0:37
to Dead Pilot Society, the show that
0:39
takes comedy pilots from A-list writers that
0:41
were sold and developed at networks and
0:43
streamers but never produced. It gives them
0:45
the table reads they never got a
0:47
chance to have. I am Andrew Reich,
0:49
the creator and host of Dead Pilot
0:51
Society. And we have got a rare
0:53
live Dead Pilot Society show coming up
0:55
in January and it's gonna be a
0:57
good one. The show is
0:59
Sunday, January 21st from 3
1:02
to 5 at the Elysian Theatre. And
1:05
there will be readings of two great
1:07
scripts, Principal by Open Mike Eagle
1:09
and Mike Benner, and You're Only
1:11
Young Twice by Tommy Johnigan. Cast
1:14
are still coming together but these
1:16
are two really, really funny scripts.
1:19
Go to elysiantheatre.com for tickets.
1:22
That's theatre with an er
1:25
and not a re. You'll want
1:28
to be there. Our pilot this
1:30
month comes from Valli Chandra Sakaran
1:33
whose jealousy-inducing resume includes
1:36
My Name is Earl, 30 Rock
1:38
and Modern Family. The
1:40
show is called Fulfillment and it's a workplace
1:42
comedy about a bunch of co-workers at an
1:44
Amazon-type fulfillment center. It's about
1:47
maintaining your humanity in a
1:49
dehumanizing world. At least that's what I
1:51
think it's about. And what an insane
1:53
cast we had for this. Valli developed
1:56
the script with Zoe Deschanel and she
1:58
plays the lead. We also
2:00
had Michaela Watkins from Casual and
2:02
You Hurt My Feelings, Padgett Brewster
2:05
from Friends and Criminal Minds, Hamish
2:07
Linklater from Legion and The Big
2:09
Short, Asif Ali from
2:12
WandaVision and Don't Worry Darling,
2:14
writer and comedian Solomon Giorgio,
2:17
Eric Edelstein from Jurassic World
2:19
and Green Room, John
2:21
Lutz from The Real Writer's Room at
2:23
Saturday Night Live, and The Fake Writer's
2:25
Room on 30 Rock. And
2:28
a little someone, Dead
2:30
Pilot Society Regular and Maximum Fun
2:32
Podcast Host, Hal Lublin from We
2:34
Got This with Mark and Hal.
2:36
Man, I'm still sometimes amazed by
2:39
the quality of the casts we
2:41
get for these pilots. This is
2:43
a great one. Okay, enjoy fulfillment
2:45
after a brief message. Last
2:50
week, The Greatest Generation, the comedy podcast
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about old Star Trek TV shows like
2:55
Star Trek The Next Generation, Deep Space
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Trek, the podcast about the new Star Trek shows
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like Strange New World, Flour Decks and Discovery just
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had its 250th episode. So
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whether you have a task that's roughly 750 hours long, or
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you want to learn about some of the production
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techniques that go into making one of the greatest
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franchises in television history, you should give us a
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try either way. The Greatest Generation
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and Greatest Trek, the best reviewed,
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most listened to Star Trek podcasts
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in the world. They're on Maximum
3:27
Fun. Vahli
3:29
Chandrasekaran, welcome to Dead Pilot
3:31
Society. Thanks
3:34
for having me. I'm so psyched. So
3:36
before we get into talking about this, I have to say, so
3:38
we're recording this on September 24th. It
3:41
won't air for quite a while. This is a Sunday.
3:44
We're all a little bit on
3:46
pins and needles. By the time
3:48
this is broadcast, the strike will
3:50
be ancient history. But today, we're
3:52
all kind of... Tell me
3:54
how you're feeling today about
3:56
the strike, just for historical
3:59
purposes. I
4:01
mean, I think my wife has probably
4:04
googled how to like put institutionalize me
4:06
against my will at some point during
4:08
this last week. I think
4:10
we're all going insane. We all moved
4:13
to New York and Los
4:15
Angeles to make things and we're in
4:17
the middle of this big labor action
4:20
that is very important to us. But not being
4:23
able to make those things is
4:25
making us all insane and walk around going
4:27
nuts all the time, which I think is
4:29
why so many people were excited to come
4:31
and read this thing maybe today. Just
4:34
to be able to make something and do something
4:36
created with a bunch of people who we admire,
4:39
but I'm losing my mind. Okay,
4:42
good. So if that's just me. Well,
4:44
this was sort of a picket line connection
4:47
or we were chatting on the picket line at
4:50
Amazon and I'm glad we made this happen. So
4:52
tell people a little bit about what we're
4:55
about to hear. This
4:57
is a pilot called fulfillment. It's
4:59
a workplace comedy that's set in
5:01
a fictionalized version of
5:03
an Amazon fulfillment center. And
5:07
it's an area that I've been thinking
5:09
about for a long time because I
5:11
like what Amazon, the place
5:13
it holds in our lives is always very
5:15
fascinating to me and what it means about
5:18
how work and capitalism and how
5:20
that's affecting us. I've been interested
5:23
in. And then this pilot
5:25
kind of came about actually because of Zoe.
5:27
I had just written a pilot the
5:30
previous year with Alec Baldwin, Kelsey
5:32
Grammer and it ended up not going
5:34
to series and I had
5:36
to immediately start writing a new pilot. And I
5:38
was telling my agents and
5:40
managers, I don't really know what to do. I
5:43
put so much of myself into that last show and
5:45
it just ended and I had to come up with
5:47
something new. So I said, if you
5:49
know creative people to meet or there's IP, I'm
5:51
open to having those meetings and my manager asked
5:54
if I wanted to meet Zoe and I'd been
5:56
a fan of hers for a long time. And
5:58
I said, of course. would love to. And
6:01
we were chatting, we were getting along really
6:03
well, and we were talking about our kids
6:05
and life in LA. And I asked her
6:08
what, if there was any role that she
6:10
ever watched that she was like really jealous
6:12
that like she didn't get to play that
6:14
role. And she did something that I
6:16
loved, which is she took the question super seriously. So
6:19
she said, I don't really know right
6:21
now, but let me think about it and get back to
6:23
you. And then two days later,
6:25
she called me and she said, Catherine
6:27
Hepburn and bring a baby, which
6:30
I thought was such a rad answer. And I
6:33
also had never seen that movie. And then
6:35
she started talking to me about how much
6:37
he loved screwball comedies, and she loved the
6:39
tone of them. And I went and
6:41
I watched the movie that day, and I loved it
6:43
so much. And I was like, Oh, this is something
6:47
like an energy that I haven't seen on
6:49
TV lately, I think that we would be
6:51
amazing at it. I started
6:53
thinking about that character and like
6:55
what that person might do and
6:57
someone with this like, intensely
7:00
sunny optimism, this force of
7:02
nature, what she could do
7:05
in a workplace that might
7:07
be bleak and weird. Because at that same
7:09
time, I was working at 20th
7:13
owned by News Corp. And I kept
7:15
wondering like, why does
7:17
everyone here love it so much?
7:19
Like we're working in this
7:22
basically evil enterprise. But
7:24
we don't think about that, because we make
7:26
our community with our friends and our colleagues.
7:28
And it's fun, like going to work on
7:30
the Foxlot was really fun every day. And
7:32
I was trying to figure out like, why
7:34
that happens and why people do that wherever.
7:36
And this character seemed like a really fun
7:38
way to do it. So thank you. That's
7:42
so cool. Well, let's hear it.
7:45
Let's do it. Thank you for letting us
7:47
read this, Volley. We're gonna get into
7:50
it. This is
7:52
fulfillment, the pilot by
7:55
Volley Chandra Sekaran. Act
7:57
One, we're exterior of a
8:00
bourbon house this morning. We're on a
8:02
residential street in Monroe, Ohio. A woman
8:04
bursts out of her house.
8:06
She rushes late, but also
8:08
enthusiastically hums singing some half-remembered
8:11
Harry Styles. There's
8:13
a haze on the hoover, babe.
8:15
It's only been
8:17
a couple of days. This
8:20
is Kate, 30s, voluble,
8:22
vulnerable, a force of nature. Thank
8:24
Katherine Hepburn in Bringing Up Baby.
8:27
She hops in her car and backs
8:29
out of her driveway just as an
8:31
elysium.com truck pulls up. The driver steps
8:34
out, holding a package with the Elysium
8:36
smiling tree logo on it. My
8:39
new tights! She opens her car
8:41
door and grabs a large box, ripping it open
8:43
to get one pair of tights. As she puts
8:45
them on immediately, she says to the driver, I
8:48
like your shoes. The driver, who
8:51
does not have Kate's relentless positive energy
8:53
about him, can't help but glance at
8:55
his sneakers, the one article of clothing
8:57
he has on that isn't part of
8:59
his uniform, the only article that he
9:02
chose today, and he smiles. On
9:04
the street moments later, Kate drives through the small
9:06
Midwestern suburb. It's a nice place to live, though
9:08
it was probably nicer 30 years ago. She
9:11
listens to the Harry Styles song she was humming
9:13
before. Those
9:15
are the lyrics. I like mine better. She
9:18
turns into a Starbucks. A
9:21
few trays of coffee now on the seat
9:23
next to her, Kate exits off I-75
9:25
and pulls into the parking lot of a
9:27
warehouse-sized Elysium fulfillment center. There are hundreds of
9:30
other employee cars in the lot. Big rig
9:32
trucks are pulled up to both sides of
9:34
the building. In the warehouse
9:36
moments later, Kate carries the trays of
9:38
coffee as she walks through a sea
9:40
of activity, products and packages moving everywhere,
9:43
employees working side by side with machines.
9:45
As she passes, Kate nods at folks
9:47
doing different tasks, picking Elysium orders out
9:50
of stacks of bins. She spots a
9:52
pot shaped like Danny DeVito. Oh,
9:55
that's cute. Workers are packing
9:57
multiple items into boxes to be sent out. She
9:59
sees A pair of microwavable slippers.
10:02
My dad would love those. Need to
10:04
remember them for his birthday. Finished
10:07
packages are placed on conveyor belts going out to
10:09
delivery trucks. Kate stops at a
10:11
bleary-eyed man working at a computer. Maybe
10:14
not sleep last night? That
10:16
obvious. There's
10:19
a little spit up on your shoulder. But
10:21
it's your lucky day, because I got an
10:23
extra coffee. She hands him a
10:26
cup and the man smiles. Thanks. Could
10:29
I get a lift? I'm not
10:31
supposed to, but... He
10:34
hits a few keys on his computer, causing a
10:36
short-wheeled orange robot that looks like a large Roomba
10:38
to roll over to them. Kate steps onto it.
10:42
It'll be our secret. And the
10:44
robot zips away, carrying Kate past a field
10:46
of dozens of similar robots at work. They
10:48
glide around the center, sliding under giant pods
10:51
of goods, lifting them up and moving them
10:53
wherever they need to go. Kate
10:55
calls to onlookers. This
10:57
isn't happening. You're not seeing
10:59
this. Kate's robot stops in
11:01
front of a staircase where she hops off and
11:04
heads upstairs to an office.
11:06
Cubicles, a meeting table, a big glass
11:08
window in the back overlooking the warehouse,
11:10
mission control of the fulfillment center, where
11:12
all the supply chain analysis is done
11:15
and inventory decisions are made. Kate
11:17
enters to find several employees. I
11:21
brought coffee. She places a
11:23
cup on a desk, then walks over to Darren,
11:26
30, his foreman of the warehouse. Thoughtful, but doesn't
11:28
want anyone to know it. Nothing
11:30
fancy, I hope. Unlike the rest
11:32
of our cast, who wear business casual, Darren
11:34
is dressed in a Carhartt work shirt and
11:37
boots, like the employees on the floor. I
11:40
got you a black coffee poured over gravel,
11:43
very manly. She
11:45
hands Darren his coffee and heads over
11:47
to Shankar in his 20s, cares deeply
11:49
about everything except work, smug and scoldy.
11:53
Had enough, I have to work for one goddamn
11:55
evil corporation to always have to drink coffee from
11:57
another. I
12:04
know, but it's better to
12:07
be awake and pointing out
12:09
how terrible things are than tired and
12:11
pointing out how terrible things are, right? Before
12:14
Shankar can respond, Caleb, the 30s, devoted
12:16
to the boss and himself and nothing
12:18
else approaches the desk where Kate put
12:20
the first cup. Wait, which
12:22
one is my coffee and which one is
12:24
Ava's? I picked hers up this morning. We
12:27
now see there are two identical cups on his desk.
12:29
Kate points to one. Uh,
12:32
that's yours. Uh, or
12:34
is it? Huh.
12:37
Just then, Ava, 50s, the boss, put
12:39
together and driven, blows in. Hey, Ava. Ava
12:43
puts a finger up and points to her
12:45
AirPods. I'm on a call. She taps her
12:47
headphones to mute herself. Apparently
12:50
the environmental impact of our delivery network
12:52
isn't great, trying to get ahead of
12:54
it. She unmutes herself, then, a
12:56
la Working Girl, steps out of her heels, then
12:58
pulls a pair of even higher heels out of
13:00
her bag and puts those on. They
13:02
seem to be making a big deal out
13:05
of this one species of frog. How
13:07
many different kinds do we need? With
13:10
that, she grabs the coffee off Caleb's desk, disappears
13:12
into her office, slam, closing the door behind her.
13:15
Everyone waits for her yell, but... I
13:19
think we're good. They look at each other
13:21
relieved. Kate holds up her coffee. To
13:24
the small victories. Caleb!
13:28
As Caleb runs Ava's correct cup of coffee in...
13:31
Uh, I still feel like today's gonna be a
13:33
good one. And we cut
13:35
to the main titles, Fulfillment. In
13:38
the office, at the conference table, Kate
13:40
sits at a laptop, screencasting the morning
13:42
meeting slides to a monitor behind her.
13:45
Shankar, Caleb, and Elif, a no-nonsense Turkish
13:47
immigrant who eats the same thing for
13:49
lunch every day, fill out the table.
13:53
Great. So, it looks good
13:55
for now, but I want to make sure
13:57
we stay on top of it. Our last...
14:00
item is a supplier
14:03
retention question. Should
14:07
we keep doing business with
14:09
this partner? The next
14:11
slide is a chart with many variables. Elif
14:14
reads from it. On
14:16
time accuracy, communication,
14:19
cleanliness, likes
14:21
to work out, braided
14:24
belt. Okay,
14:27
the company is a guy I can't tell if I should
14:30
go on a second date with.
14:33
Is this appropriate for work? Okay,
14:37
okay. This is why your generation
14:39
is having less sex than all the ones
14:41
before it. I read that in an article
14:43
so that means it's news which means I'm
14:45
allowed to talk about it. Danica
14:47
reacts, is that true? Normally I'd
14:50
take this up in a group chat but
14:52
everyone on there is still
14:54
friends with my ex so. There's
14:56
an awkward beast but it's quickly broken
14:58
by. We're in the yellow zone. Everyone
15:01
turns to see Darren wearing a
15:03
flowing wedding gown. Do
15:06
we all see that or am I finally getting
15:08
haunted by someone interesting? This gown
15:10
was returned by a customer who claimed
15:13
she received the wrong size. Now the
15:15
warehouse's delivery metric is taking the hit.
15:18
Kate pulls up a dashboard of numbers on her
15:20
laptop which plays on the screens behind her. Yikes,
15:23
you're right. That
15:25
air pushed warehouse performance out
15:28
of the green zone. Wait, does
15:30
that mean we all lose our
15:32
quarterly efficiency bonus? This is why
15:34
I was against the company's softball
15:36
team. We're losing focus. Everyone
15:41
calm down. Only the responsible
15:43
group will lose bonuses. Everyone
15:46
looks at Darren uneasy. You may
15:49
have to reduce your microwavable chicken
15:51
wings budget. Absolutely
15:53
not. Darren types a case
15:55
computer, pulls up some info. The
15:58
customer ordered a size 4. and
16:00
the tag says this is a size 4,
16:02
yet... He spins
16:05
around in the dress. This is
16:07
obviously not a woman's 4. It's
16:09
roomy, even on me. The
16:11
warehouse delivered the product as labeled. Someone else
16:13
is responsible. The
16:16
quarter doesn't close until the end of the day. I'm
16:18
sure we can fix this. We just need to...
16:21
No! Everyone
16:23
turns to see Ava just outside her office.
16:27
Why aren't you all screaming? Caleb's
16:30
still screaming too. He
16:36
gestures for everyone else to join. Is
16:41
this a happy... Aaaah!
16:43
Or sad... I
16:45
need more context. Look at your
16:47
calendar invites. Everyone turns to
16:49
their computers, a beat as they read.
16:51
Then there's more reading. I'll
16:54
just tell you, Corporate invited
16:56
us all to a facility-wide meeting this
16:58
afternoon, and I have no idea what
17:01
it's about. Everyone reacts, surprised.
17:04
Hmm. Maybe our scumbag overlords came
17:06
up with a new perk to keep people
17:08
addicted to ordering from Elysium. I
17:12
love the perks. Like, the shows
17:14
on our streaming service. Have you seen
17:16
the one with the guy who's usually hilarious, but
17:18
here we get to see him go around crying
17:21
and waiting to die? Darren
17:23
shoots Kate a concerned look, mouths
17:25
yellow-zone. She gestures back, not now.
17:28
If Corporate's involved, something either very good
17:30
or very bad is going on. I
17:32
need to figure out how to play
17:34
this, for all our sakes. Permission
17:37
to investigate? Granted, any resources
17:39
you need are yours. Also, make sure you return
17:42
this stuff to Kohl's for me. She
17:44
gestures towards the package and heads back to
17:46
her office. In the office later, Darren, Caleb,
17:48
and Elif work at their desks. Shankar paces.
17:52
Okay. All right. These metrics are just ways of
17:54
making us more efficient cogs in their machine. You
17:56
know that, right? This impulse goes back
17:58
to the Industrial Revolution. We hear,
18:03
I made a white noise track composed
18:05
of the different lectures you've given over
18:07
time. Chompsky. Shankar
18:11
turns off the volume on Darren's computer. My
18:15
nightmare is that I moved to this country only
18:17
for my kids to turn out like you. There
18:21
are way more suits than normal for this corporate meeting.
18:25
I just want to know what the announcement is. When
18:27
I go downstairs, the guys are going to ask what's
18:29
going on. They're already on edge
18:31
because we slipped into the yellow zone.
18:34
Yeah, yeah. Corporate's never going to make a move
18:37
that's good for us. No, no matter
18:39
what they say, we will be getting screwed
18:41
somehow. Why do you work
18:43
here? This is fun for me. I
18:45
like this place. Murray,
18:47
in his 50s, if the Midwest was
18:50
a person, approaches holding a small plastic
18:52
trophy. Okay, folks.
18:55
Last day to enter this month's most
18:57
insane item on the Elysium website contest.
19:00
Prizes $25 gift card
19:02
to the Clubhouse Sports Grill. He
19:05
holds out a bucket with entries in it. So
19:08
far, the item to beat is... ...on
19:11
baguette slippers. And we
19:13
go to an insert of the Elysium webpage. It's
19:15
a screen grab of the baguette slippers page. $14.89
19:17
a pair. 4.5 stars, 2001 reviews. Customers
19:24
who viewed this item also viewed
19:26
a Garfield-shaped body pillow. We
19:28
go back to the scene. Correction.
19:32
She takes a long sip from a tube coming out of
19:34
her shirt. The
19:38
wine-lit sleeve is the entry
19:40
to beat. On the
19:42
webpage, it's Wine O'Clock Somewhere brand wine bra.
19:44
It looks like a puffy sports bra with
19:46
a camelback tube with a mouthpiece coming out
19:49
of it. $29.97, 0 reviews. Back
19:54
to the scene, Elif drops a printout into
19:56
the bucket. Murray nods. Wine rack bra is
19:58
the entry to the clubhouse. entry to
20:00
breach beat in Ava's
20:02
office it's a corner office but a middle
20:05
management corner office she looks out the window
20:07
at the Monroe Ohio landscape as Kate runs
20:09
through some numbers cash
20:12
to cash cycle has picked up a
20:14
bit but it's still
20:16
good and the average item
20:18
time and center is this
20:20
cannot be where things top out for
20:22
me there has to be more Kate
20:25
looks up from her computer you
20:28
think that your life
20:30
is perfect you're successful you
20:32
met your husband before dating apps
20:36
you're you're never self you never
20:39
get self-conscious about what to do with
20:41
your hands when you're talking i've
20:45
got to do so many things i never imagined
20:47
in my life already i know i should be
20:49
happy with that but it's
20:51
just made me wonder what more is out
20:53
there thinking
20:58
about the future is fun though isn't it
21:00
like anything could happen a new Rihanna
21:03
album discovering
21:05
a new favorite food like it's crazy to
21:07
think that my next coke able is out
21:09
there waiting
21:12
for me to try it hopefully not too long
21:14
though you know let's skip to the end of your presentation
21:17
how are our key
21:20
warehouse metrics okay um i actually
21:22
need to talk to you about that i actually need to talk to you
21:24
about that so a mistake
21:26
yesterday dipped the q2 delivery
21:29
number into the um yellow
21:33
zone what Darren
21:35
said there wasn't
21:37
an error on their part
21:39
so another department should take
21:42
the hit how do you want me to handle before
21:44
Ava can respond Caleb Burson this meeting
21:47
is at press conference idsom research follow
21:49
a bunch of local news anchors on
21:51
instagram and Yolanda Ray of you can
21:53
raise that again is coming
21:55
to the SORT Center this afternoon get
21:58
help you think Lana and RJ Inters
22:01
are friends in real life. They
22:03
gotta be, you can't fake that chemistry. This
22:06
is great. If there will be cameras
22:08
and corporate wants to come, it must be for
22:10
something good. They always make me deliver the bad
22:12
news myself. And we go to
22:14
a flashback. Ava addresses the team. Since
22:17
the company is behind in our environmental
22:19
pledge to use less water this year,
22:21
the bathrooms will be locked until the
22:23
end of the month. Click
22:25
Caleb padlocks the door. Back to
22:27
the scene. And if
22:29
it's good news, that means the bobs
22:31
will be there. Bob,
22:33
Norman, Grey and Bland are on
22:35
the invite list. Oh, this could be
22:37
a great opportunity to catch their eye and move
22:39
up the ladder. I
22:42
don't like leaving things to chance. That's why I always have
22:44
a plan. Procedure
22:46
to learn, achieve or
22:49
neutralize. Isn't
22:51
that the same as the regular word plan? You're
22:55
making it obvious you didn't go to business school.
22:58
Kate watches as Caleb and Ava instantly start pacing
23:00
back and forth thinking and riffing. Oh,
23:03
how do you make them see you in a new light? Compliment them? No,
23:05
no, no, no, no, no. Everyone must do that. Show
23:08
them I'm a fellow alpha? No, that'll just
23:10
make them insecure and angry. My
23:12
husband still doesn't know I'm taller than him. She
23:15
pounds her desk frustrated. Ugh,
23:17
we need to figure this out. This is
23:19
my chance to get out of this two
23:21
church town and move someplace like Denver. Yes,
23:24
you need to be around taller
23:26
buildings. This is an
23:28
opportunity for you too, Kate. This problem
23:31
with the warehouse metric, that's the stuff
23:33
I deal with all day. Figure out
23:35
who's responsible and handle it. If I
23:37
move up, this could be your
23:39
office. You think I have what
23:41
it takes to be off? As
23:43
Kate looks around Ava's office, wondering if she
23:46
really is ready to level up. I
23:49
don't wanna put too much pressure on
23:51
things, but I just image searched Denver
23:53
and the revitalized Riverwalk is bananas. We
23:57
paid out, that's the end of act one. You
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Esposito here, comedian and host of Queer Eye. Every
26:01
week I get to interview someone amazing from
26:04
the LGBTQIA plus
26:07
community. Some Queeros. I
26:09
chat with them about their lives, loves, careers, and
26:11
more. I've talked to them
26:13
since Giant's Labs, Trixie Mattel, we don't
26:16
wait. Pagans and Sarah Quinn,
26:18
but also astronauts, red rings,
26:20
and also something. It's funny, it gets deep,
26:22
but hopefully it makes you feel like you're part of
26:24
something. Join me every Monday on Maximum
26:26
Fun. Today. Act
26:35
Two. We're in the conference room. Caleb works
26:37
at a whiteboard. Kate and Darren,
26:39
now carrying the wedding dress, enter. Caleb,
26:43
can we talk? Painstorming.
26:47
We now see he's working on a
26:49
list labeled Ways to Make Ava Pop.
26:51
The only idea so far is celebrity
26:53
endorsements. Blah, as the timer goes off.
26:55
Caleb rushes to add another item to
26:57
the list. Bangs. He
27:00
turns to Kate and Darren. I'm
27:02
supposed to reward myself between rounds, but I guess
27:04
I'll do whatever this is instead. We
27:09
were looking at the operations
27:11
flow this dress took from
27:13
supplier to customer, and we
27:15
noticed... We think it
27:17
was your mistake. No way. I
27:19
refuse to take the hit for this. I already spent
27:21
the bonus I expect to get. Do
27:24
you remember last week when the quality
27:26
control scanner on the floor was down?
27:29
You didn't want to bother Ava. Yeah,
27:32
she was in the mood. Her Lattice America's
27:34
Got Talent submission had just been rejected. Well,
27:37
the override log shows your
27:39
signature on, okaying sending out
27:41
all the deliveries without using
27:43
the machine. Caleb looks at the dress and
27:45
rolls his eyes. It
27:47
wasn't a quality control error. That
27:49
gown isn't a woman's size for you dorks.
27:52
Yes, it is. Look at the tag. I
27:54
am. This is a man's size for.
27:57
This gown isn't Vera Wang. It's... Very
28:00
Wang? Atlantis premiere drag
28:03
queen costume ree? Does
28:05
that mean I'm a size two? That
28:07
was nice. Kate grabs the
28:09
dress, confirming Caleb is correct. Look,
28:12
the mistake wasn't mine, so I can't take the
28:14
metric stick, which means I don't have to return
28:16
to that bonsai tree I already bought and
28:18
killed. Oh,
28:21
thank God. Somebody messed
28:23
up, and I have to figure out who it was. But
28:25
I'm not ready to screw anyone over. Well,
28:28
if you don't do anything, you'll be screwing me
28:30
over. Oh, I hate
28:32
choosing between my friends. This is what
28:34
Ava does all day. OK,
28:37
if it's not Caleb, whose fault could
28:39
it be? Let's
28:41
back up the order of events. Pull up the
28:44
item on the website. Darren types
28:46
on his phone, pulling up the Very Wang dress
28:48
on the Elysium mobile app. Huh,
28:50
look at that. The
28:52
dress is mislabeled on the site. It's listed
28:54
under women's clothing instead of men's. So
28:59
the responsibility for this error lies
29:01
with whoever is in charge of
29:03
item classification. Isn't classification
29:05
automated? Who writes those
29:07
programs? Realizing Kate
29:09
and Caleb simultaneously look into
29:12
the main office area, directly
29:14
at Shankar. Oh,
29:16
hell yes. A chance
29:18
to scold the scolder. We
29:20
go to a flashback in the break room.
29:23
Kate, Darren, Caleb, Murray, and Ella eat lunch
29:25
having fun. Darren pulls some chicken wings out
29:27
of the microwave. Is
29:29
there anyone better than Tom Cruise? I
29:32
mean, the new top gun. He
29:34
clocks a nervous look on his audience's
29:36
faces and follows their eyes to see
29:39
Shankar happily approaching down the hallway. Do
29:42
some people think the movie was nationalistic
29:44
propaganda? No. We
29:47
can't let him stop our fun. Get rid
29:49
of the last chair. The group
29:51
springs into action. Caleb opens a window. Darren
29:53
grabs the chair. Ella shoves it outside. Everyone
29:56
rushes back to their seats just as Shankar
29:58
enters the room. And speed
30:00
to they pull it off. Then Shankar
30:02
just shrugs and leans against the counter
30:04
opening up his bento box lunch which
30:06
is somehow are so annoying. What's
30:09
that? The our. Tvs, It and
30:12
you. This without thing. Silence.
30:14
Everyone struggles not to take the
30:16
bait until Kate. Yeah.
30:21
Let's. Get into. We. Go back to
30:23
the scene. Everyone's where we left them. Is.
30:26
This what moral superiority is I
30:28
I I can't wait to use
30:30
it to cross M. Gap.
30:32
A Yelp from down the hall. If one looks
30:34
to find Murray, haven't come around the corner and
30:37
now face to face with an image of a
30:39
large Asian man staring daggers That him. Older
30:42
asian man wall decals. That.
30:44
Trophy as mine. And. We cut to
30:46
the Elysium web page. These are all real
30:48
items that can be found on Amazon. This
30:51
one the older Asian men wall decals cost
30:53
the weird price of twenty eight dollars and
30:55
sixty three cents and has a hundred and
30:57
sixty five five star ratings back in the
30:59
scene. daring drop the print out of his
31:02
item into Murray's Bucket Keep. Can't help but
31:04
laugh as Eva comes out of her office.
31:07
Told. Lf Caleb I need you downstairs.
31:09
She. Blows out the door, the others
31:11
fall. Oh, and the warehouse floor.
31:13
Moments later, Kate, Ever, Caleb, and Lf
31:16
rummaged through a tall pod filled
31:18
with yellow been of lithium.com goods. Kate
31:20
pulls out a pair of stylish
31:22
earrings. Oh. A
31:24
decent the process rather than
31:26
lox and bobs. Now you're
31:28
middle management. Material up for
31:30
middle management. Now. Beautiful.
31:34
She tosses the earrings back into the been. I
31:36
need stuff that makes me look like
31:38
a ruthless businesswoman instead of a man
31:40
who shops at outlet malls while eating
31:42
soft pretzels. And see step. On
31:45
can we talk about how this is the way I find
31:47
out you don't like any other suggestions on my list. L
31:50
Grub two boxes from upon. All.
31:52
Set look like a woman from
31:54
a government poster. Were. all
31:56
gray and make your eyes to
31:58
different colors one blue one green
32:02
go on and you need perfume
32:05
something for you not them
32:07
the confidence will be a
32:09
loo ring Wow
32:13
this is the best seduction advice I've ever heard
32:16
I gotta talk to you before date yeah
32:18
my father had two families I learned
32:20
from the best what's
32:23
the most powerful perfume
32:26
Eva spots a bottle in a
32:28
nearby bin as she reaches for it one
32:30
of the Roomba like orange fulfillment floor robots
32:32
slides on slides under the pod lifts and
32:35
whisks it away Eva chases in
32:41
the office later Kate catches up with Darren they
32:43
start toward Shankar who works at his desk I
32:46
stopped by HR while you were gone I wanted
32:48
to know the meanest thing I can say without
32:50
getting fired hmm if
32:53
corporate is going to be watching this press conference this
32:56
is my chance to speak truth to
32:58
actual power to confront the very people
33:00
who created this mess and make them
33:02
face what they have wrought sounds like
33:05
an amazing opportunity yeah
33:07
the only question is what to say
33:10
something about climate change the
33:12
dehumanizing nature of capitalism or
33:15
or or maybe I elevate
33:17
an ignored issue like soil
33:20
erosion Kate does
33:22
a hairpin turn suddenly starts walking in the
33:25
other direction Darren goes after her I
33:29
can't do this why
33:31
Eva thinks I can it's no
33:33
problem I'll do it no
33:36
no Shankar is too good of a
33:38
soul he wants to do the difficult
33:40
work to make the world a better
33:42
place don't we need more of
33:44
that what this
33:46
is a great opportunity to give him a taste of
33:49
his own medicine plus this is actually
33:51
his fault it's all lined
33:53
up to be very satisfying
33:56
it would destroy him to
33:58
know He. Put a
34:01
men stress in the women's
34:03
section. sadder him to his
34:05
core. Exactly where on
34:07
the same page why we're over
34:10
water? What are we arguing about?
34:12
I'm sorry. All
34:14
I'm ever going to do is
34:17
put a hashtag and racism square
34:19
up on Instagram. I need people
34:21
like Sean car to to the
34:23
rest. We. Need to figure out something
34:25
else. Serious. The and
34:27
I'm I'm so mad right now
34:30
my head is buzzing. Wait. A
34:33
year that says, They look around, there's
34:35
definitely a real buzzing. What is that? Sinker
34:37
turns to Murray. Oh Merman, I
34:39
forgot to tell you. Got. My
34:42
entry. He. Holds a big love covered
34:44
in. Sistine. Hundred
34:46
live ladybugs. On. The Leave
34:48
Him web page for six dollars and
34:50
ninety five cents guaranteed like delivery in
34:52
the comments indicate that that's about half
34:54
true. Back. To the theme
34:56
in Wonderful L, My neighbor uses those
34:59
to the track local birds. Sinker.
35:01
Drops his print out in Murray's bucket
35:03
and crosses off passing downs. old Asian
35:05
men. wall ditto. I.
35:08
Couldn't be an old Asian
35:10
woman While detail ah, There
35:13
and stairs. Dagger: there's a case he
35:15
just use for her to follow him
35:17
and exits from the warehouse floor endurance
35:19
downstairs office. It's more no frills in
35:21
the upstairs space but also better appointed.
35:24
Keith and Daring. Enter. Sorry.
35:29
I'm not that it. Weird.
35:33
Have ever been in yard? Town. Scared
35:35
off at. Ah, her
35:37
job. Probably just that everyone elses
35:40
upstairs soil is me goes there.
35:45
It's just. You
35:47
are like that oh boy when
35:49
you come up and hamlet that.
35:52
Like. Down here year. Are
35:56
you reading that gold? Since he grabs the book
35:58
and says that in the death. You're okay.
36:00
Can we the going to stay focused? Our:
36:02
who are we going to blame the dress
36:05
on? Let's go down the list. Alice: The.
36:08
Kids less interest in their problem. Now
36:10
she notices. A
36:13
New Yorker cartoon of the
36:15
day calendar. You
36:17
like being it upstairs person
36:19
down here. Someone
36:21
has been even getting this from
36:24
a. What? About Murray. Oh.
36:27
My God I love how uncomfortable this is
36:29
making. You know you like a. Rose.
36:31
Saskatoon. Trying
36:34
to ignore her during citizens computer he pulls
36:36
up them internal data. Looking.
36:38
At item statistics, this dress has
36:40
mostly been ordered by men before
36:42
Murray's teams that have discovered that
36:44
it was miss classified. The. Case
36:47
Not listening, she's looking in his credenza. She
36:49
pulls out. This. Is
36:51
the biggest bottle of Claritin
36:53
I've ever seen patter your
36:56
allergies. Baron. Hopes Up snatches
36:58
the bottle away and places it out of her
37:00
return. A high self. I'm. Allergic to be
37:02
here. All right. I need the pills for
37:04
when I go out after work with the
37:06
warehouse guys. Always. Had five
37:08
agra that for being cool. He
37:10
goes to close the door of his office. Deeply.
37:13
Stop all this. I need the guys to respect
37:15
me. Good. Luck with
37:17
that punk. The door stuff
37:19
just sort of closed. A
37:21
black steel toed boots caught
37:23
in the bottom. Deron opens
37:25
the door again, revealing Michael's
37:27
a warehouse worker in the
37:29
doorway. Michael is a dad.
37:32
Keep. React surprised by this info. Now.
37:35
World's could see to have an alas.
37:38
He. Celebrated conspired with delicate geniuses
37:40
upstairs to make us to
37:42
address. Where where in
37:45
the middle of figuring it out? Sure
37:47
sounded like it. He let them
37:49
sit in the awkwardness for a moment and then. We
37:52
didn't finish movie the pack stations, the new locations
37:54
and the floor and your signature to go in
37:56
overtime to get it done. I. Budgeted
37:58
fifteen man hours. So that wasn't enough.
38:01
I don't see you out there helping. OK,
38:04
yeah, fine. Michael
38:06
holds out a tablet. Darren uses his finger to
38:09
sign. Don't work too hard.
38:12
And he exits. I
38:15
didn't know Michael was your dad and that you're kind
38:17
of his boss. Yeah,
38:20
that was his sense of humor. He was
38:22
just joshing around. Darren
38:25
squirms. He's lying, and he knows. Kate knows
38:27
he's lying. So he's let his guard down.
38:30
Honestly, I think the hardest part for
38:32
dad is he knows I'm good
38:34
at being his boss. Darren
38:37
shrugs. It sucks, and it's hard, but that's the
38:39
truth. Kate can't help but smile as she starts
38:41
to see Darren in a new light. He isn't
38:43
just a goofball. He's a guy doing something hard,
38:45
trying the best he can, kind
38:47
of like her. Well,
38:51
he should be proud of you. You
38:55
really are protecting your team. Darren
38:57
accepts the compliment, catching Kate's smile with one
39:00
of his own. It's a nice moment until.
39:04
Maybe over there you could put a
39:06
classic movie poster, but like it's in
39:09
French. You know,
39:11
how would you like it if I came to
39:13
your house and made you defend your personal? We
39:16
need to focus, Darren. Who
39:19
do we pin this dress on? Before
39:21
Darren can respond, several warehouse workers hurry
39:23
past the door. What is going on?
39:26
In the office, Ava works. Caleb enters.
39:29
Just got an email from corporate, and they're wondering if
39:31
you could jump on a Zoom right now. The
39:34
bobs. And the
39:36
paws. I email the link. Oh,
39:39
well. Ava stands up,
39:41
breathes, sits back down, fixes her hair, puts
39:43
on a smile, and logs on to the
39:45
meeting. The three bobs and two paws pop
39:47
up on screen. You know what they look
39:50
like. Ava! Are you
39:52
wearing a new perfume? You know what?
39:54
Well, how
39:56
is everybody? I'm excited for
39:58
the press conference. Oh
40:00
us too, that's actually why we're calling.
40:03
We're very impressed with what you've done at the center
40:05
Ava. Finding good operations people
40:07
so difficult. Today goes well,
40:09
there may be something for you at our
40:12
regional hub in Denver. Denver.
40:16
As Ava beams, Caleb rushes over with
40:18
a cup of coffee. Or maybe there's
40:20
something for two people in Cleveland. I'm
40:23
just, I'm just kidding. Hey
40:25
y'all, we don't want to take up too much of
40:27
your time, okay? We just wanted to let you know
40:29
something came up so we won't be making it down
40:31
for the announcement today, okay? Ava
40:34
reacts, realizing something is up. Wait,
40:39
why? On the warehouse
40:41
floor, everyone in the warehouse, including Darren
40:43
and Kate, gathers around as Michael uses
40:45
a crowbar to pry open a huge
40:47
wooden crate. Kate grabs a piece of
40:49
paper out of it and reads. Using
40:53
DaVinci, the first of many
40:55
additions to the Elysium robotic
40:57
sleeve. Okay,
41:00
it's for the press conference. Our
41:02
facility has been chosen as the
41:04
first site to roll out a
41:07
drone delivery system. Michael
41:09
lifts a four bladed drone helicopter out of
41:11
the box. Does
41:13
look cool. Wait.
41:17
First of many additions, if
41:20
we're automating even more of
41:22
the processes at
41:24
the center, will
41:26
we be needing all these people working here?
41:29
Michael looks to a few older warehouse workers
41:32
worried. Based on what happened
41:34
40 years ago at the auto parts factory,
41:36
no. In
41:38
the conference room, Ava continues talking to the Bobs
41:41
and the Pauls. And we
41:43
thought you should make today's announcement. You're
41:45
so good at handling this kind of stuff. There's
41:48
an insanely long beat. Great.
41:53
Caleb runs in and whispers to Ava,
41:56
Bad news. It's drone delivery.
41:58
On the warehouse floor. warehouse floor as
42:01
the warehouse reels, Kate turns to
42:03
Darren. Might want
42:05
to take that clear to now. Tonight's going
42:07
to be rough. And that's
42:09
the end of Act Two. Act
42:11
Three, we're in the parking lot. Our people
42:14
peer out of their upstairs office window at
42:16
the parking lot where a press conference stage
42:18
goes up and news crews gather. In the
42:20
office, everyone continues to look out the window.
42:24
We'll be able to reach drones and they'll
42:26
replace us with artificial intelligence. Soon
42:29
the only human jobs here will be dancing
42:31
and nude modeling. Yeah,
42:34
maybe this is a good thing. I mean, now I'll
42:36
get to lose a bunch of weight and fit into
42:38
my interview suit. Immigrants
42:41
are always prepared for something like this.
42:43
Anyone need a granola bar from the
42:46
snack room? And we go
42:48
to Ella's house in a flashback. She opens
42:50
her garage door revealing that it's filled with
42:52
thousands of granola bars. She's obviously stolen from
42:54
work. Whistling happily, she fishes another granola bar
42:56
out of her laptop bag, adds it to
42:59
the stack and closes the door. Back
43:01
to the present, Kate pulls Darren aside. I
43:06
definitely can't blame anyone for the
43:08
dress now. They'll have a target on their
43:10
back for Leo. Right, now that
43:12
target is on my back. This isn't about
43:14
bonuses anymore. With more automation,
43:16
the warehouse will be the first department thinned
43:18
out. Can we go to my downstairs office
43:20
and figure this out? Passing
43:22
by, Shankar hears this last part. Hey,
43:25
you have a downstairs office? No. Once
43:28
again, loving Darren's discomfort and in need of
43:30
a release, Kate lets her colleagues in on
43:32
the fun. It's wild.
43:34
He's basically brazier down there.
43:39
I've gotten an emergency Whitman sampler in my desk.
43:41
We could head down and have a little open
43:43
house. There's nothing to
43:45
see. It's an office, chairs, a
43:47
floor, ceiling. That's
43:50
Dendeny. All where he's
43:52
checked out a man's secret home. It lets
43:54
you know who he wishes he was. Can
43:57
we all just stay focused? Ava
44:00
enters from her office. Oh, thank God.
44:03
OK, I think I have my comments
44:05
for the press conference. A
44:09
lady just flew into my mouth. He
44:12
pulls it out as Shankar sinks into his chair.
44:16
It's nice that we were chosen
44:18
for this pilot, right? Despite
44:20
her words, from Ava's face, we can tell that she
44:22
feels exactly the same way as everyone else in the
44:24
room. Thanks
44:26
for helping me look good, everyone. I
44:29
know everything that happens here is a team effort,
44:31
and I will do my best to make sure
44:33
corporate knows that too. Kate,
44:35
how are we doing on the yellow zone situation?
44:40
Oh, um. She looks at Darren.
44:42
What should I do? He shrugs. Then
44:44
she makes a decision. She turns to the
44:46
group. Ava,
44:50
everyone, working with you
44:52
has been the joy and
44:54
honor of my life. I
44:57
couldn't bear to endanger any of
44:59
your families and livelihoods. That's
45:02
why I'm
45:05
going to take responsibility for the
45:07
misdelivered guests myself. I
45:11
will take the metrics hit. Kate,
45:14
you did. No, it's decided.
45:16
When my divorce happened and I
45:18
realized I didn't know anybody in
45:20
this town except Andrew's friends and
45:22
family, you guys, you
45:25
were just yourselves. And it
45:27
meant so much. You let me
45:29
talk when I wanted to. You let me
45:31
forget when I needed to. I
45:33
think it's why this place still feels like
45:35
home to me, even though the
45:37
guy who brought me to this town and this job
45:40
in the first place is no longer a part of
45:42
my life. So thank
45:44
you. I'll be fine.
45:48
It's the least I can do. It's
45:50
a big moment. Everyone lives in the
45:52
warmth of it for a beat, and then I really
45:56
wish you let me cut you off earlier because now
45:58
it's way more than a beat. more awkward to say.
46:02
Obviously that's not a
46:53
to blame for the dress. Darren, come on. You
47:23
know, if they're too distracting, I can face them
47:25
away from camera. Positive
47:53
vibe out into the universe. Full
48:04
body smile. Okay. So
48:07
most people think of smiling as
48:09
something only their face can do.
48:12
But I believe every
48:14
muscle in your body has that
48:16
capability. Watch. She
48:18
demonstrates. Yeah, I'm just going to
48:20
whistle. He does. As
48:23
from outside, we hear Ava start the press
48:25
conference. Thank you everyone
48:27
for coming to this wonderful debut
48:29
for the Elysium family. Yeah,
48:32
Darren finishes typing. A
48:35
nearby fulfillment robot rolls off and picks
48:38
up a large pot of goods and
48:40
zips towards the exit. Kate and
48:43
Darren watch the robot go, hopeful. In the
48:45
parking lot, Ava addresses the crowd from the
48:47
podium. Elysium has always
48:49
been a leader in innovation. Shankar
48:52
looks at a live stream of the press
48:54
conference on his phone. Then at a cameraman on
48:56
stage, he leans over to Elif. I
48:59
think that's the camera streaming the event to corporate.
49:02
In the background, the robot emerges from the
49:04
warehouse. It speeds towards the stage until the
49:06
robot suddenly stops, toppling over the pot of
49:08
goods it was carrying, sending
49:11
hundreds and hundreds of items onto
49:13
the pavement. Among them are tens
49:15
of thousands of ladybugs. Murmurs
49:17
in the audience as they recognize the beginning of
49:19
a fiasco. Ava tries to
49:21
power through. In
49:23
that spirit, today we introduce...
49:26
A few crowd members swat at ladybugs on
49:28
their arms. One news cameraman notices swarms of
49:30
the bugs in the sky. Elysium
49:33
drone delivery! Trying
49:36
to regain the crowd, she dramatically yanks
49:38
a nearby sheet, revealing the sleek quadcopter.
49:40
Everyone in the crowd cranes their necks
49:42
to see. Well, again,
49:44
everyone except Caleb. Oh,
49:46
my biggest weakness? Sweets.
49:49
I love to bake, but I hate
49:51
working out. So I'm always bringing treats
49:53
to the office. On
49:55
stage, Ava straps an elysium.com box to
49:57
the drone. of
50:00
the first aerial delivery is Elysium's
50:03
very own Murray Chapman. She
50:05
gestures to the giant screen on
50:07
stage. Murray waves from it. Hundreds
50:09
of precious moments figurines now face
50:11
away from camera. It's somehow even
50:13
more creepy than before. Within
50:16
a guaranteed 10 minutes or less,
50:18
Murray will be delivered one
50:21
10-foot long string of lights
50:23
shaped like chili peppers. Future
50:26
generations won't understand how we
50:28
lived without this service before.
50:31
On stage, the live stream cameraman turns to
50:33
get a shot of the audience. Shankar, seizing
50:35
his moment, jumps on a chair. Fellow
50:38
workers, hear me now. At
50:41
the beginning of Les Miserables, Victor Hugo
50:43
wrote of a man twice robbed
50:45
of dignity, first by society
50:48
itself, second. On
50:50
stage, Eva squeezes her temples. Fucking
50:53
dumb people. On
50:56
Kate and Darren, now out of the warehouse, they
50:58
walk toward the press conference stage, looking up at
51:00
the sky. Come on,
51:02
come on. Michael approaches Darren. What
51:05
the hell are you doing making
51:07
the warehouse look even more incompetent
51:09
in front of the bosses? Dad,
51:12
I've already lived through one round of
51:14
machines taking jobs in this town. I
51:17
don't need another. Look, it's
51:19
happening. Kate points. The ladybugs in
51:21
the air have started... They're
51:24
attracting birds. Murray was right.
51:27
Back on the stage, the drone blades
51:29
start spinning, spinning, spinning... Imprisoned
51:32
for 19 years for
51:34
stealing a loaf of bread. The drone
51:37
takes off, news crews film as it
51:39
lifts into the sky, ushering in a
51:41
new level of convenience. And
51:43
it is out of solidarity with
51:46
all of the Jean Valjean's that
51:48
I demand... And
51:51
the drone runs into a flock
51:53
of birds, gasps and screams, both
51:55
bird and human, as everyone watches
51:58
and hears the spinning drone blades.
52:00
eviscerate the animals onto Shankar and
52:02
the crowd. Ava looks
52:05
around, stunned, until she spots Michael
52:07
and a bunch of warehouse guys,
52:09
smiling and clapping Darren on the
52:11
back. Nice job, Clariton. Unable
52:14
to help herself, Kate jumps up and hugs
52:16
Darren. The full-body
52:18
smile worked! Darren reacts,
52:20
slightly embarrassed by how much he enjoyed that
52:23
hug in front of everyone. Kate doesn't clock
52:25
that though, because she's already taken off across
52:27
the parking lot. She jumps on stage. Sorry
52:30
everyone, looks like the tech isn't quite
52:32
there yet. Until it is,
52:34
the great people at this fulfillment center
52:36
are going to make sure everyone gets
52:39
their orders on time. Relief
52:41
and applause from the workers, even Caleb, who
52:43
is still on his Zoom. Yeah, thank you
52:45
or whatever, I don't care anymore. And
52:48
he hangs up. And
52:50
what's more, the warehouse robots also
52:52
messed up the drive. All
52:55
the employees, upstairs and downstairs cheer. In
52:58
the parking lot at dusk, the end of
53:00
the day, our entire team heads to their cars.
53:02
Kate turns to Ava. What
53:05
a wild day. Sorry
53:08
Denver isn't going to work
53:10
out for you Ava. Yeah, because of those robots and stuck
53:12
here longer. Looks
53:15
like they screwed you out of
53:17
a promotion too. They share a moment, both happy with how
53:19
things worked out. But seeing no reason
53:21
to say it. What's everyone doing tonight? Nothing
53:24
special. Yeah, same.
53:28
They all just stand there. It's obviously time
53:30
to go home, yet nobody's quite ready to.
53:32
Something catches Kate's eye. What's that?
53:36
She walks over to the part of the parking lot where
53:38
the pot of items spilled over during the press conference. There's
53:43
one interesting item from the bunch strewn all over the pavement. Almost
53:45
all of it pixelated. Kate picks up the box. Oh
53:48
my god. And
53:50
we go to the Elysium webpage. Infant
53:53
circumcision. trainer,
54:00
white. The accompanying product
54:02
photo is of a small plastic
54:04
groin area accompanied by five replacement
54:06
white penis tips. Again this
54:09
is real and it's currently sold out on
54:11
Amazon. Three stars. Back
54:13
to the scene, Kate raises the item into the
54:16
air. The
54:19
Berserk fulfillment robot won
54:22
the trophy. And it
54:24
can't use the gift card. So it
54:26
looks like we have a $25 head
54:29
start on our tab at the Clubhouse
54:31
Sports Grill tonight. Here's
54:33
Darren slips a pill out of his pocket into
54:35
his mouth. I'll drive the delivery
54:38
van and drop everyone off. There's
54:40
ad-libbed excitement as everyone piles into an Elysium
54:42
van. The Harry Styles song from the beginning
54:44
starts and as the song builds, Darren pulls
54:46
the van out of the lot, our whole
54:49
team heading off together, ready to keep hanging
54:51
out after this long day. Maybe not
54:53
a family but something intimate for sure.
54:58
Just a heads up after two drinks. I'm
55:00
gonna do my full speech for you guys. No
55:02
interruptions. And that's the end
55:05
of Act 3. We're in the tag in the
55:07
kitchen. Kate and Darren eat a snack. I know
55:11
I promise you this but I feel
55:13
bad. The dress was his fault and
55:15
we let him off the hook. I deserve this. He
55:18
gestures at the open doorway. Kate sighs,
55:20
calls out. Could
55:25
anyone explain Formula One to me? From
55:27
his desk, Shankar rushes towards the kitchen.
55:30
I don't know where to start but
55:32
let's start here. F1 racing is a
55:35
truly international sport. That's right. I
55:37
said sport. Just as he
55:39
reaches the threshold, thump Shankar smashes
55:41
into an invisible wall, crumpling to
55:43
the ground. On the
55:45
Elysium webpage, there are two screenshots. One
55:48
for a custom-cut plexiglass sheet and
55:51
another for a two-pack of perfect
55:53
glass cleaner. Moments
55:56
like this or what make it all worth it.
56:00
That's the end of the episode. I
56:07
hope you enjoyed and were fulfilled by that.
56:09
Come back next week to hear my interview
56:11
with Vali. Dead Pilot Society
56:13
is produced by me and my co-producer Ben
56:15
Blacker and our associate producer Noah Finling. It
56:18
is masterfully edited and mixed by Jordan Katz.
56:20
If you like this show, tell a friend.
56:23
Tell a friend, please. Tell
56:26
a friend about this incredible cast that we had. Tell
56:28
them to check it out. Also, please leave us a
56:30
review on Apple Podcasts.
56:33
Follow us on social media. Get
56:35
your tickets. Go to elysiantheatre.com and
56:37
get your tickets for the live show in January.
56:41
Until next time, be kind to yourself.
56:44
Please be kind to others. I'm
56:46
Andrew Reich. I'm wishing you
56:48
a very happy holiday. And thank you
56:50
for listening. Maximum
56:53
fun. A worker-owned network. Of
56:56
artist-owned shows. Supported directly by
56:59
you.
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