0:01

Life is so much more than a

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diagnosis. It's about sharing time with those

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you love, hanging with friends who lift

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you up, and experiencing all those moments

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that bring you joy. All

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right for you. So

0:22

long live singing to the oldies, jamming out

0:25

to something new, and everything in

0:27

between. So

0:30

I agree, I don't think you

0:33

wouldn't wanna rattle off your list because you don't want it to

0:35

be performative. Then at the same time,

0:38

I think it's important before you get

0:40

too emotionally involved to see

0:42

how a man responds when you're trying to teach him

0:44

how to love you. So

0:49

if you're not giving any instruction, then

0:52

you won't be able to see how he

0:54

responds to when you're

0:56

trying to guide him on

0:59

a way to express a love he feels.

1:02

But he has to be taught on how

1:04

to deliver that love in

1:07

a way that lands in your heart. And

1:10

if you're gonna have a long-term relationship, so you're

1:12

looking at over two decades here, and

1:15

if you're gonna have a long-term relationship, you're

1:17

gonna hit seasons where he's gotta be

1:19

retaught. Yes, sir. Because you're gonna

1:22

become a version of life is gonna change you

1:24

in ways that

1:26

you become a different version of yourself that now

1:28

has different needs. And you're

1:30

gonna have to have somebody that is

1:33

flexible enough to be

1:35

able to adapt and

1:37

to give you what you need in this season

1:39

so that you're not in a relationship getting

1:42

what you used to need. The greatest

1:44

depth of learning takes place through conversations.

1:47

And that's what tonight is all about.

1:49

That's why I asked when I had

1:51

this idea to have a singles night.

1:53

That's why I hit Lataris and said,

1:55

hey, would you come? Because I want

1:57

you to facilitate conversations because there's a

1:59

way that. we can learn through that that's

2:01

a bit different. So that's what this is

2:03

actually all about. And we want

2:06

you to have various perspectives from

2:08

different people who are in different

2:10

seasons in life. And so

2:12

this is why we're going to participate. They drafted

2:14

me in this like I don't

2:16

have stuff to do Sunday

2:19

morning. But we're really,

2:21

really excited about it. We want it

2:23

to be it's going to be

2:25

biblically based, but it's going to

2:27

be authentic. Right. And it's going to

2:29

be real because you're dealing with real life

2:33

and you want real perspective. And

2:35

that's what we intend on having today. Also,

2:38

want some of the feedback that we got,

2:40

we listened to it. So we

2:42

didn't even hear call relationships are censored. And

2:44

some of the feedback we got from the

2:46

singles portion was the need to

2:49

get some questions answered for it to

2:51

be a bit more interactive. And

2:53

so the safest way for

2:56

us to do that in an environment like

2:58

this is for you to actually if you

3:00

got questions that you want to be addressed

3:02

or you want some perspective on

3:04

what we want you to do is they're going to put a little

3:07

third on the screen and

3:09

you can text your questions. Don't

3:11

text your number. No, text your

3:13

questions to this number. Text

3:17

your number. I want to know if somebody's single

3:19

or get in the media department. What is I

3:23

caught that loose

3:25

here tonight. You

3:28

see, too early.

3:30

So text

3:33

your questions to that number and we'll make sure that

3:35

we try to cover them. So

3:38

all throughout the night you'll see that lower third

3:40

popping up from time to time. And

3:43

we want to serve you in

3:45

that way. So man, we're so

3:47

excited. I think we got one

3:49

of the best conversational lists. That's

3:51

right. Leading this discussion tonight in

3:53

the person of the one and

3:55

only our dear brother, Leteris, everybody.

3:58

And so. Man, we're

4:01

so excited. It's going to be an incredible

4:03

night. Turn your attention to the screens and

4:05

get ready for the Dear Future Wifey Podcast.

4:31

The first to be booked internationally. We try

4:33

to please the world versus the word. You

4:35

said we try to please the world and

4:37

not the word. And the difference

4:39

is just an L. That's right. And

4:42

you take an L when you try to... Come on. The

4:48

first to be booked at a major award show.

4:50

I think so often when we hear that idea

4:52

of love, or someone says, I love you, they

4:55

say it in the word, but you

4:57

can't see it anywhere in the deed.

4:59

You are using this podcast to heal

5:01

countries. You, I will use my story

5:05

to stare other young men away

5:07

from the road and the path that I took. Thank

5:11

you for transforming my pain into

5:13

a beautiful platform. Welcome

5:27

to the Dear Future Wifey Podcast. I'm your

5:29

host, LaTara Saar-Wyffield. Listen, are you still shacking

5:31

up with us? No,

5:34

if you're still shacking up with us, can

5:36

we get a commitment? Hit that subscription button

5:39

and subscribe. Make sure you turn

5:41

on your notification bell so you'll be

5:43

notified about upcoming episodes. This

5:45

is season eight. We are at Change

5:48

Church in the ATL. Where

5:50

the visionary is none other than Darius

5:52

Daniels and his beautiful wife, Shemekka Daniels.

5:55

Listen, we're going to have an amazing time. Thank you

5:57

so much for allowing us to do this. to

6:00

curate this conversation. How

6:02

many of y'all are single? And

6:05

it's a round check to make sure that

6:07

no married people snuck into the place today.

6:10

You know, and so, you know, because

6:12

sometimes a lot of married people want to be single

6:14

again, and then single people want to be married, and

6:16

you know, we have that conundrum going on. And

6:19

so we're gonna keep it lit. The moniker of

6:21

the podcast is we keep it lit. We live

6:23

intentionally and transparently. Today we have an amazing group

6:26

of panelists, and we're gonna start from the back

6:28

row, allow everybody to introduce themselves. Matter of fact,

6:30

I'm gonna start, well, we're gonna start where we

6:32

are, and then we'll introduce where we try to

6:35

get to. How many of y'all still wanna be

6:37

married? Y'all still wanna be married? All

6:39

right. And so we'll finalize

6:41

with the Daniels at the end. All right,

6:44

introduce yourself, King. Tell a little bit about

6:46

yourself. Sure, what's going on? I got a

6:48

door. All

6:52

right, thank you. My name is Cory Arvinger.

6:55

I am a member here at Change Church. I'm

6:58

initially from Greensboro, North Carolina. I run

7:00

a clothing brand. Okay, shout out to Rainsboro, like six

7:02

of us. I

7:05

run a clothing brand called Support Black Colleges. I

7:07

focus on getting our kids back to HBCUs, and

7:10

I have a background in marketing. Oh, thank

7:12

you. Anybody went to an HBCU? So

7:17

I went to the number one HBCU, that's Howard

7:19

University. Hey, you two. All

7:23

right, all right, I love that, I love that. And

7:25

yeah, I'm looking for my wife. I'm

7:28

done. And I see there's a lot

7:30

of options out here. I'm

7:33

excited to be here, I'm excited. Thank

7:36

you, thank you for having me. Amen. Yo.

7:43

That's how we started tonight? Yeah. You

7:46

know me, you know me. And this, I'm

7:48

mad at you. My name

7:50

is Anthony O'Neill, I do want to start off.

7:52

Yeah. Oh, so good.

7:55

Thank you, thank you, thank you. And I do want to

7:57

start off by saying, I don't appreciate how this is a

7:59

single smite, but if. I

18:01

feel I feel I feel the cheesecake anointing

18:03

coming over this place right now. A

18:06

cheesecake factory. Y'all don't want you to eat

18:08

that. You start drinking up a whole lot

18:11

than yeah, but meal

18:13

that cheesecake factory is perfectly priced.

18:15

And the reality is if he

18:17

took y'all out and he

18:19

only spent $100 on y'all, would y'all go

18:21

back to your homegirls and say he ain't the one. We

18:24

didn't say that. No, y'all be good. They

18:27

lie. Respect. They lie. Y'all

18:30

tapping up to this church. Y'all,

18:34

where my brothers at? Make some noise. Some people have

18:36

that. Yeah. Brothers,

18:38

do y'all really think they gonna come back and be talking

18:40

back to them about us and be spending less than $100?

18:44

Yeah, then I'm gonna leave it right there. That's

18:49

good. Let

18:51

me let me let me switch over to some of the

18:53

merry folks before I get myself

18:55

in trouble. This is Ron

18:58

T.C. Y'all did my podcast in 2021. What

19:02

I love about y'all, y'all are

19:04

extremely transparent and you talked about

19:06

how y'all navigated these dating scenes

19:08

in order to get to marriage.

19:10

Y'all had a very tumultuous journey.

19:13

I want you to unpack that. What was the

19:15

most challenging thing that y'all had to undergo while

19:17

y'all were dating? I

19:20

think the biggest part for me, I was a

19:22

young single mom when I met my husband. How

19:24

old were you? I had just turned 24 and

19:27

our first date was the Waffle House. Yeah. Yeah.

19:31

Let's go. Let's go. That's

19:33

just awful. But

19:41

I think the hardest part for me

19:43

though, being a single mom was I

19:46

didn't know how to be a wife. Bob was a mom first.

19:48

I didn't know how to put wifely duties

19:50

before being a mother when my kid

19:53

was here first. So

19:55

letting go of that control or giving someone

19:57

the option to take food off me or

19:59

my daughter's table released. seeing that control and

20:01

learning to trust God in that was probably

20:03

my biggest struggle because I definitely have to

20:05

trust issues. Do

20:07

we have any single moms out there? A

20:09

lot of them, yes. Can y'all

20:12

relate to her journey? And

20:14

so when you were dating

20:17

her, did you have any

20:19

preconceived notions where you were like, during

20:21

that time I didn't want to date somebody that

20:23

had kids already, I didn't want to already

20:25

make family or whatnot, or did you not take

20:28

her seriously at the very beginning of dating? What

20:31

was your mindset back then and how old were you when

20:33

you were dating her when she was 24? I

20:36

think I was 32 at the time

20:38

when I met my wife. But

20:41

I'm one I like to match when it comes

20:43

down to the amount of kids you have. So if I have

20:45

one, you can have one. If

20:49

I got one, you got two, it ain't gonna work.

20:54

So I couldn't be a hypocrite because I had one, because she

20:56

had a daughter, it was fine. I can

20:58

rock with that, but I couldn't go past one. I'm

21:00

just not living. But in the beginning

21:02

when I first saw my wife, at

21:05

that moment I did tell her, I said, you're the one.

21:07

You're the one. I did. Three

21:09

days. I said, baby, you are the one.

21:12

For some reason when I saw her, she sparked something to

21:14

me that was different than I hadn't had before. But

21:17

on top of that, I still was Rod,

21:20

they were ending the street, Cardi Leonard, Black Thunder.

21:26

You know, so I still had

21:28

a lot of growing to do. I was still a young

21:31

man, I had a lot of growing to do. But I

21:33

did know she was the one. And

21:35

one thing that she challenged me with, with

21:37

all the accolades I did have from playing football or

21:39

had money, took her to the penthouse, tried to show

21:41

her the penthouse, she wouldn't even go the first night.

21:44

She said, I got to go home to my daughter.

21:46

She wouldn't even come up to the penthouse. So

21:48

I was surprised that that was amazing. So

21:51

even after that, she just showed we went to the

21:53

Waffle House. She was fine with the Waffle House. I

21:55

said, oh, I got one. Because at first, based off

21:57

the way she looked, you can always assume. point

22:00

she got a lot of guys coming out the she want

22:02

the bag she want you to show something different but I

22:04

was the one who was like if you ain't okay with

22:07

us doing a minimum then in a day I can't take

22:09

you to talk with me to do the most if there's

22:11

a self you're not gonna say it hold on a minute

22:13

talk to me so I wish you

22:15

my brother I wish you all day I got a

22:17

simple question for you you got money why did you

22:19

go to the Waffle House up you're gonna ask what

22:22

the ladies are thinking you got the money I can

22:24

be a tape in the room crits I like me

22:26

say how's that that's what I'm saying I don't get

22:28

to Atlanta change so I'm from the hood so Waffle

22:30

House is my eggs in a waffle I'm cool with

22:32

that and my wife was cool with that too so

22:35

what about what I'm capable of and I can't go

22:37

to room Chris I actually enjoy Waffle House and she

22:39

would have looked at me sideways for taking her there

22:41

then I knew she wouldn't have been the one for

22:43

me because in a day I need a humble woman

22:45

who willing to go to Waffle House or room Chris

22:47

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23:11

we gotta be able to do both you

23:16

talked about and maybe you know Tisa

23:18

you can talk about this he

23:20

was talking about he was a young man he was still

23:22

been riding he was still you know out in these streets

23:24

black thunder I don't know if that was his his

23:27

football name of his exotic dancer name I don't

23:29

know which one it is but what I'm trying

23:31

to figure out is

23:34

how did you navigate that

23:36

space of saying you know that you're investing

23:38

in him with your heart and your emotions

23:41

and not gambling incorrectly I believe in

23:45

clarity and I don't I don't think you can

23:47

be scared of conflict in relationships and earlier

23:49

on he talked a good game I'm not

23:51

scared of conflict I gave you

23:53

the smoke I'm not scared of conflict I

23:56

gave you the smoke but

23:59

earlier on on, you know, he, I thought he was

24:01

running game after three days when he was like, Oh,

24:03

you're going to be my wife. And less than two

24:06

weeks, he was like, I love you. So when them

24:08

30 days came around one month, I'm like, okay, so

24:10

what are we doing? Are you seeing, are we seeing

24:12

other people? Are we all in? Like, what does that

24:14

look like? Um, and

24:17

even though he wasn't all the way honest, even

24:19

there, um, there was just something

24:21

in his head. He said that was exclusive. Yeah,

24:23

of course. He didn't want me to see anybody

24:25

else, but he

24:27

wasn't doing outside. We'll leave that alone.

24:30

Glory to God. You saved. No,

24:33

but you know what? Honestly, he has been that boy his

24:36

whole life and he's used to what I call these yes

24:38

girls, but I'm that girl too. And I can have whoever

24:40

I want as well. So, um,

24:45

I gave him an option. Yeah. I told him you can

24:47

have you or you can have me, but you can't have

24:49

both. Um, so if you want to

24:51

be outside, I'm not wanting to convince you anything different either. You

24:53

know what you got in front of you and you willing to

24:55

do what it takes to keep it or you can go back

24:57

outside with the girls who let you do whatever you want. And

25:01

he made a good choice. And

25:03

she actually did it. She cut me off

25:05

about 40 days. I was so confused. Change

25:07

the phone number. She changed the phone number.

25:09

Yes. She fasted from

25:11

me for 40 days. And

25:16

I'm serious. She fasted for real. God,

25:18

I'm a fast. I didn't know. I

25:20

did. I did a prayer and I wasn't even saved

25:23

back then, but God, we were still connected. He

25:25

said, I told him I was, I was obsessed

25:27

with Rod. I was so crazy about this man

25:29

that I couldn't control it. And I wasn't used

25:32

to that. So I told God, I

25:34

said, listen, if this man is supposed to be in

25:36

my life, then put him in my life the way

25:38

you intended. If he's not, then free me of this

25:40

stronghold that I have created with this man. She

25:43

got did a war room prayer. I

25:45

did. I did. I did. And on

25:47

day 41, I was like, let me

25:49

just call him and see what happened.

25:51

See where I'm at. And he was like, he

25:53

came running and he has left my side sense.

26:00

Y'all implemented something early in y'all's

26:02

relationship. Talk about the program that

26:04

y'all went through to bring y'all

26:07

closer and to bring Christ into

26:09

your relationship. Oh yeah, so we, again,

26:11

we weren't saved when we got together, but a

26:13

couple of years, and we were still dating and

26:15

just toxic. We wanted to be together, but we

26:17

didn't know how to be together. So we

26:20

got into an altercation at the gym, just arguing

26:22

at the gym over a squat machine. And,

26:26

still in a gym. But

26:29

a guy that was at a church at Radical Love, he came

26:31

up to us. Yeah, I'll tell you first, if y'all had to

26:33

argue with a dude over a squat machine, cause

26:35

that's not my annoyance, and I'd be like, you can have it,

26:37

I'm gonna take a break and bring me a Gatorade or something.

26:39

So he was trying to make me do heavier weight. Oh, that's

26:41

what you're doing. It's like, I'm not doing that. I

26:44

still tell him I'm not doing it. But, but

26:46

no, a guy came up to us and he invited us

26:48

to church. It was actually Word of Faith at the time,

26:50

and they had a program called Radical Love, and it was

26:52

just for married people, and we were only dating at the

26:54

time. But he said, listen, he told us,

26:57

you guys should really come out and chart this program,

26:59

and we wanna get you in there. If you guys,

27:01

this will show you if you have what it takes to

27:03

be together. And the program was a 13 week

27:06

course, and it was, the

27:08

motto was your spouse is not your problem. Now

27:11

it took me three times to take that course, to

27:13

believe that. I was

27:15

like, y'all don't know him. Okay,

27:18

it's definitely the problem. No, but

27:21

that whole thing, it changed our

27:24

life. Getting saved together, getting baptized, getting

27:27

connected into church, finding the right community. It changed

27:29

from where we hung out, to who we hung

27:31

out with. It just changed everything around us. And

27:34

that we, I told him, we

27:37

were shacking up at the time. So I was

27:39

like, listen, I can't play house with you. So

27:41

I'm gonna move out. If you're ready to get

27:43

married, then hey, stand up and get it together,

27:45

or sit down and give room for somebody else.

27:47

But I can't stay here in this way. God

27:49

had convicted me to say, I can't do this

27:51

no more. But the choice is yours. He

27:54

went and got that ring. So

27:57

how long y'all dating during that time? At this

27:59

point. about three and a half years before

28:01

he proposed. And then I also took the

28:03

cookie off the table completely. Cause

28:05

I said, look now I'm gonna do it God's

28:08

way. I can't be messing with you no more.

28:10

We literally got married six months later. So

28:13

that's how. He

28:20

said cookie powerful. That's what he said. He

28:22

said a cookie is powerful. They're going to

28:24

brand a new cookie line. There's going to

28:26

be a protein cookie. It's called nutrition. It's

28:29

called nutrition treat. You

28:32

gotta go to the website and buy. Listen,

28:35

Amber, you're highly visible. I've

28:38

been knowing you for about 20 years and

28:41

you're an absolutely beautiful woman. And

28:43

we talk about oftentimes offline about

28:46

your journey of dating. And I hate

28:48

to ask people this question, but I'm

28:50

gonna ask it just for the sake

28:52

of your response. Why are you singing?

28:55

Sheesh. Man,

28:57

I mean, I'm really glad that you asked

29:00

that question. I think the

29:02

cliche answer would be, I

29:04

haven't found the one right yet. Right. Which

29:07

is true. I haven't found the

29:09

one that I'm in total

29:11

alignment with. The one

29:13

that we have the same interests. We believe

29:15

in the same faith. We

29:18

like to do the same things. I

29:20

also haven't found the one who has a

29:22

plan for me. But

29:27

if I'm honest and vulnerable, what

29:29

I realized is that I

29:32

didn't have the plan for myself. Right?

29:36

Tell me what you thought about it. So I'm

29:38

42 years old now. And

29:42

when I look back over my life and

29:45

I'm listening to them about

29:47

college and different college sweethearts

29:50

and I asked myself, what was I looking for? I

29:53

didn't have a plan. Right. I was

29:55

looking for the man who looks good. I

29:58

was looking for the man who people

30:00

say we look good. together. Yeah. I

30:02

wasn't thinking about how

30:04

is this man gonna be as a father,

30:07

especially now being a mother. I'm like,

30:09

that was so important. Yeah. You know,

30:12

and realizing

30:14

I read something once that said

30:17

there's three things, three

30:20

characteristics about a great man and

30:22

that he is a provider, he is

30:25

a protector, and he is a preparer.

30:27

And in preparation,

30:31

you have to have a plan. So what

30:33

is your plan for me? But I had

30:35

to say, God, what is your plan for

30:37

me? And when I really

30:40

decided to go

30:42

to him about it, I

30:44

started to heal and I started

30:46

to become this person who

30:48

was ready for a marriage,

30:50

who was ready for a husband, who

30:52

was preparing myself to be a

30:54

wife. So I'm a catch now. Don't

30:57

get it twisted. But I

30:59

also, unlike Leticia, I didn't

31:01

have the confidence to say,

31:04

hey, I can get

31:06

anybody I want. People look at the exterior

31:08

a lot of times and they think, oh,

31:10

she's beautiful. She's got this. But I lacked

31:12

confidence for a long time. I

31:15

lost my mother to put her in. She said, oh, I

31:17

lost my mother at a very young age. I was 11

31:22

years old and I had women around

31:25

me who didn't necessarily build

31:27

me up. Yeah. They tore me down

31:29

because they were very jealous of my

31:31

mother. So that was

31:33

their way of my father was a pastor

31:36

and we had a big church and he

31:38

was very handsome and all the women want

31:40

me. I mean, one of my dad and

31:42

it was like, forget the daughter. I don't

31:44

care. I want to get I want to

31:47

use the daughter to get to her father.

31:50

So I didn't have good examples

31:53

of women who taught

31:55

me how to carry

31:57

myself, who taught me the confidence, who who

32:00

told me that I was worthy of

32:03

this. And then I have a group of friends

32:05

here on this front row. And

32:09

I've been in Atlanta for 12 years and

32:11

I've learned so much from them. Even

32:13

though I'm probably the oldest in the group, they've

32:16

taught me and God has

32:18

healed me. So now

32:22

I'm single and I'm ready

32:24

to be married. So. How

32:26

do y'all have a circle of sisters which

32:29

y'all can depend on and lean on? It's

32:31

so important. It's

32:33

so important to build community. And I'm

32:36

talking about faith believers that can intercede

32:38

with you, that can lock arms with

32:40

you, that can pray for you when

32:42

you're about to make a stupid decision,

32:44

that can cover you, somebody that can

32:46

not allow you, I can't say stupid,

32:48

can't say stupid. Okay, stupid decision. Because

32:51

we make some stupid decisions. And you

32:53

know, it's this crazy ideologies that we

32:56

have where you'll have, you know, that

33:00

circle of influence will tell you, girl,

33:02

that's your husband right there. And that

33:04

man don't want you, you know.

33:07

And you know, and you done gassed him

33:09

up to go tell him that they heartbroken

33:11

over somebody that don't even know their name.

33:13

It just don't make no sense. But you

33:15

need somebody, you need some accountability partners around

33:17

you to keep you uplifted. I

33:19

wanna ask my girl right here, Anissa.

33:22

So Anissa, I saw her video and went viral

33:24

where she came to change church, walked probably right

33:26

there. And she said, I'm looking for my husband.

33:28

And my husband got to be here. And then

33:30

she left out the front door, dejected, and said,

33:32

I didn't find him this Sunday, maybe I'll find

33:34

him again. And

33:36

so my question to you, are

33:38

you as intentional as those videos

33:41

are on desiring

33:43

a mate? I

33:45

feel like at this point in my life,

33:47

yes, this is the most serious I've been.

33:49

I think the videos are the manifestation of

33:51

my most inner thoughts being hilarious. Like

33:54

I'm trying to find a nice way to say,

33:56

stop playing with me, come out of pridey. But

34:00

I also realized too, where I have

34:02

been seated lately does not allow me

34:04

to properly turn around and see who's

34:06

here. So

34:09

while I'm trying to touch the hem of

34:11

his garment and be in

34:13

your iPad PD, because I'm trying to get close, I'm

34:15

trying to get real close, I

34:18

know it can be intimidating too to be

34:20

that close for somebody else. So I

34:22

know I'm trying to get more of my word. I'm being

34:24

a lot more intentional and I'm putting it out there. And

34:26

what I love most is that there are people out there

34:28

who feel the same. But what I

34:30

will say about my journey too, is that I found

34:34

over the last few years, I was leaning so

34:36

much on my own independence and being my own

34:38

boss. And you know, my prayer

34:40

became God, whenever it's time for that person

34:42

to come, allow me to release some of

34:45

my independence so that he's able to lead.

34:51

And that's a scary prayer, cause

34:53

it's getting real interdependent

34:56

right now. I

34:58

need help. I

35:02

look forward to being somebody's help me. I

35:04

have a brother, so I don't

35:07

feel like I'm able to give him

35:09

relationship advice if I'm not even willing

35:11

to step up and be an example

35:13

for him. So

35:15

just my thoughts, you know, not too

35:17

much. Let me ask

35:19

y'all. Wait, let's hear it

35:21

before you continue. You said something a second ago about

35:23

women having a circle of friends that you can lean

35:25

on that'll point them out. But for the fellows that

35:27

are in the room, it's just as important to me

35:30

to know, do you have men? Yes, you

35:32

that are going to, you know, put the

35:35

pressure on you because I think that plays into it.

35:37

Not only do I feel like men look at

35:40

what I do as a personality and then they

35:42

try to match whatever idea they create, but what

35:44

are your friends saying about you and what are

35:46

they saying to you about who you're going after?

35:50

That's good. Brothers, I mean, can we can

35:52

I get the men to stand up real quick? I want to

35:54

see y'all. I mean, man, we got this. So

35:56

I need I need I need to I need to let

35:59

the women know that She's around y'all make around

36:01

brothers turn around look around turn around turn around

36:03

let the more you look around look around look

36:05

around Look around Look

36:09

around Look around stand

36:11

that look let the lights be up. All

36:13

right So I'm gonna

36:15

ask y'all this but hold on a little bit series. I'm

36:18

sorry That

36:20

ratio is terrible it's funny though We

36:23

had a whole bunch of me and said dope

36:25

and the ladies laughed But it didn't

36:28

really celebrate the band for coming to a event like

36:30

this Say

36:32

now wait a minute Yeah

36:36

Don't fuck you up. It's all the same

36:38

buddies that complain. Where are the man? Where

36:40

are the man but then when the man step

36:43

in y'all want to have step give it a

36:45

play So let's do a do-it-do over one of

36:47

me and stand up real quick. What am I

36:49

a stand up? I

37:01

Sit down And

37:04

that's the truth there have a saint So,

37:09

let me tell you something So not

37:11

question y'all ladies Would y'all feel like it was

37:13

awkward if y'all came to church on the Sunday

37:15

service and a dude shot face shot at you

37:17

at church Good

37:19

now what's what's awkward is when you try

37:21

to use the word that you just got

37:24

in your pickup not too much Wouldn't

37:26

it mean he was paying attention? You just read that on the note He

37:33

was trying to use that he was trying to make

37:35

the word applicable So you can't be mad

37:37

at him for taking the word and and

37:40

applying it to your life See

37:42

my question is is this for real? So my

37:44

question is this a lot of men

37:46

do y'all feel comfortable shooting your shot at

37:48

a woman at church? No See

37:51

he said no Any

37:53

other brothers if you feel I want to hear y'all yell

37:56

yes or no Do you feel comfortable shooting your side at

37:58

a woman at church? He

38:01

said yes, he said no, they said yes and

38:03

no. But the women

38:05

just, unanimous decision that

38:07

said that they own Kate, which

38:09

you shoot your shot with them at church,

38:12

don't do it during praise and worship. Don't

38:15

be doing it during the sermon, it's loud and nose-by.

38:18

But that parking lot is

38:20

fair ground. You can go

38:23

out in the parking lot in the lobby, in

38:25

the old school we call it the vestibule area. You

38:27

go out there in the vestibule area

38:30

and you can go shoot your shot. They don't

38:32

know if they got fellowship halls anymore, but

38:34

the fellowship halls, you can shoot your shot.

38:37

And so what we're telling you brothers is

38:39

that it's okay to shoot your shot and

38:42

don't be walking up to me. It's something

38:44

about your spirit, that's something

38:46

about your spirit. Something about the

38:48

way you worship that's drawing me unto you.

38:50

It's something about your spirit. There is. Yeah.

38:54

Their actions don't match what they're saying though. Why you

38:56

say that? There

38:59

you go. Uh-oh,

39:01

uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, they don't want to hear us.

39:07

There you go, wake up, he choose

39:09

violence. Go ahead, Ayo. All right, I'm

39:11

not talking about, last time I heard

39:13

you said church, I'm

39:17

not talking about change. Okay. I'm talking

39:19

about church, the kingdom of Christ. The reason why I

39:21

feel as if the actions do not match, and this

39:23

is not going to be a popular statement, but it's

39:25

a real statement that men are not, men

39:27

are scared to say this, but it's the truth. The

39:30

reason why most men will not try to highlight a

39:32

woman in the church is because a woman runs her

39:34

mouth too much. So if I approach,

39:37

watch this, listen, listen,

39:39

listen, listen, listen.

39:41

Listen, listen, listen. Listen,

39:46

listen. Life

39:52

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39:54

work, your family, your plans, and your

39:56

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details at q-symptah.com brought to you

40:11

by Novartis Pharmaceuticals Corporation. I love

40:15

it. We

40:22

are in a little bit more time right now. We

40:24

need to go. Here we go. Listen,

40:28

listen, listen, listen.

40:30

Go ahead, AO.

40:33

Make your point. Make your point.

40:36

Here we go. The reason why, the

40:38

reason why is because this is about if

40:40

a man tries to holla at one woman

40:42

inside a chain shirt, can

40:45

I finish? Jesus.

40:47

There you go. Thank

40:49

you, brother. Thank you. If a man tries

40:52

to holla at a woman in the church and if it doesn't go the

40:54

way it is, then you can go. The

40:56

way that they both would like it to

40:58

go. Right? And then a man leaves and

41:01

let's say a month later, he's another woman

41:03

inside of the same church. That

41:05

woman is like, yo, he's trying to holla at

41:07

me. He's trying to do this. He tried to

41:09

do that. Now listen, before y'all

41:11

even go all like, wait, this ain't

41:13

me. This ain't me. Listen

41:15

to what I'm saying. I'm not

41:17

saying it's just all ladies. But

41:20

let's be real. This is an

41:22

action of a lot of ladies.

41:25

And most men will not.

41:28

He's dead. I already told PDN and

41:30

Pastor Samigay, I was going to come

41:32

and tell the truth. Most men will

41:34

not want to approach a

41:36

woman in the church even if he

41:38

really wants to because he's fearful of if

41:41

it doesn't go that way. What is

41:43

my name and reputation after you and

41:45

I end? That is a true statement.

41:48

Listen, listen, hold on. That is an

41:50

absolute. I'm not done. I'm not done.

41:52

Wait, since we wanted those spiritual. I'm

41:54

sorry, ladies. It is also your spiritual

41:56

responsibility to even cover the man in

41:58

the church. but it's not your man.

42:01

And it is my responsibility to cover the

42:03

woman and to treat the woman with the

42:05

utmost respect that it's not my woman. So

42:08

if it's not good, I shouldn't be dogging

42:10

her. You shouldn't be dogging him. You shouldn't

42:12

be spreading lies. You cover that. You

42:14

know why? Because if you run

42:16

in your mouth to find another man and

42:18

you want your husband in the church, and

42:20

you talking about other men, your husband ain't

42:23

going to want you because of your bad.

42:25

Okay. Wow.

42:35

Okay. I think, I think it's a fine time to an

42:38

auto call. We have all to call right now. Listen,

42:42

that is a true statement though, because I've

42:44

heard that from men a lot. They don't want

42:46

to get the reputation of, he tried to

42:48

holler at everybody. You know what I'm saying? And

42:50

he has a right. If he's, come

42:52

on, like what is, what is the statute of

42:55

limitations? He can only holler about three women and

42:57

if nobody chooses him, he got to go find

42:59

his woman at another church. You know what I'm

43:01

saying? Like, what is the statute of limitations? If

43:03

you don't want him, it's okay. The fact that

43:06

he's able to deal with the rejection or the

43:08

redirection properly without assassinating your character. Because I don't

43:10

look at it as a rejection. If it's somebody

43:12

ain't yours, it's just redirection. It's

43:14

just redirection. It's not, it's not the person for

43:16

you. And so it's okay. He asked you out

43:19

on a date. You're not interested. He said, thank

43:21

you so much. You're still a beautiful woman. And

43:23

then gone about his way and talked to your

43:25

best friend and say, Hey, how about you? Let

43:29

me ask you, would that be a problem? Would that be

43:31

a problem that he tried to holler at you and your

43:33

best friend? You

43:35

didn't even give, you didn't talk to him. Yeah.

43:39

Like who cares? If you didn't want him, why

43:41

would you be mad? Y'all territorial, why would

43:43

somebody ain't yours? Like that only makes

43:45

sense. Let me back up and bring

43:47

it back to the church. Uh, but Daniel, uh,

43:49

we don't, all right.

43:52

Oh, okay. Let's go ahead. What'd you about to say? Well, I

43:54

was just gonna say, I think you have a point, right?

43:56

But I also think you said, what if he waits a

43:59

month? Some of these men, and don't wait in line.

44:01

We're either next day or the same day. And he

44:03

should walk away from me and then walk over to

44:05

the next girl. Like space it out, brother. Don't let

44:07

me see you here. But I respect that.

44:09

I respect that, right? But if you said

44:12

no, why do you care? It moves on.

44:14

But maybe I didn't even get the chance to say

44:16

no. How about that? No, I'm with you. You

44:18

didn't say no, I'm with you on that part. I'm

44:20

just saying when there's a clear definition, I'm not interested

44:22

in you, he should not be

44:25

locked down, wait two weeks, two months

44:27

to pursue. If the man is a

44:29

pursuer, I've never met an animal. I

44:31

like you, okay? I don't

44:33

like her. But

44:36

I'm just saying, if I've never met, and

44:39

again, I'm just a theologian, that is my

44:41

mentor and I study the word of God.

44:43

But even I studied history and animals. I've

44:46

never met a animal wait to pursue after

44:48

he's hunted. So as soon

44:50

as he gets done, if that is done, he pursues

44:52

on. And what I feel ladies in a

44:54

church one is, I want you to sit for a year.

44:58

And then here's another thing too, here's another thing

45:00

too. Even if he did

45:02

talk to 10 ladies and change church, it's a

45:04

thousand of y'all in a year. So

45:07

that's a fact. Can

45:11

I add this too? If you go to change,

45:13

we got four services. You

45:15

may not see that woman again. So you

45:17

gotta, you have to trap. I'm telling you,

45:19

one weekend she go to 10, the

45:22

next is 11, the next is. So

45:25

you gotta, you have to say something when you

45:27

have the chance, because you just never know what

45:29

service they coming to. So true,

45:31

same breath. We as women, women, we like

45:33

to act like we don't want to shoot

45:36

our shot there. I know there's some shooters

45:38

in here, but to that same point, there

45:40

are four services. You may never see him

45:42

again, okay? So shoot that shot. Hey

45:45

brother, you look nice. So

45:49

have you ever shot your shot at a guy

45:51

here at church? Here at church? Yeah, here at

45:53

change church, this church right here, where the body,

45:55

where the past is. Past,

45:57

there, there, and the very other shot, your shot. somebody

46:00

at the church. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet.

46:02

You working on it? Have I thought about it?

46:04

Have you been keeping your eye on somebody that

46:06

you've been watching? If you come back to church,

46:08

you're going to shoot your t- Maybe once or

46:10

twice. I think I did want to see if

46:12

he's actually going to come again. OK, you're looking

46:14

for consistency. Consistency? Yeah, that's good. That's good. That's

46:16

good. That's fair enough. What about you? Are you

46:18

in the same series? You said the what? Are

46:20

you coming in the same series? Right. So y'all

46:22

can have something to talk about. Cory,

46:24

have you ever shot your shot at somebody at a changed

46:26

church? Huh.

46:30

Hey, oh. You're

46:32

not showing them in a section? It's

46:34

a church service. Y'all

46:36

answer it for me. That's crazy. I've

46:39

never shot my shot at somebody at a changed.

46:42

I'm going to say, I've been kind of weary

46:44

about it. So like

46:46

me and Anissa, we do the pre-show sometimes.

46:49

And being in a position where you're serving,

46:51

I always want to make sure that I'm

46:53

serving God first. And I don't want anybody

46:55

to have like, like you said,

46:57

it may not go the right way. And it may

46:59

not end the way we want it. And then I'm

47:02

like the guy who does this, that also, oh, it

47:04

didn't work out. And so I'm just trying to be

47:06

careful. I'm not against it by any means. But

47:09

I just have to be careful and super

47:11

intentional and make sure it's God's timing, not

47:13

my timing. That's fair

47:15

enough. Fair enough. You

47:17

said something that's very interesting that could

47:19

be also looked at as an excuse.

47:22

When you say she said that part. So

47:25

when you, they just said they gave you

47:27

the open door policy to say you can shoot your

47:29

child. We just got that today though. We just got

47:31

that. I didn't know that was, I didn't know that

47:33

was a thing. So now that I know, I

47:36

see y'all on Sunday. All right. Just

47:41

go ahead. Hey. What

47:45

service you go to? I go

47:47

to 10. I sit right here in this general

47:49

section. I'm going to

47:51

stand up a few times this Sunday too. So

47:56

let me ask you this. I'm

47:58

going to ask all the single people before I go. to

48:01

the passing. Do you think

48:03

when you think is a good time to

48:06

propose? Do you feel like you got to

48:08

date somebody for a year, two years? Do

48:11

you feel like it's people say all seasons

48:13

where it's like a full year or when

48:15

you know, you know, I

48:18

don't think there's a timeline like that you can

48:20

say for everybody. I think I'm talking about for

48:22

you. Oh, for me. I mean, it's situational. So

48:24

my previous relationship I had, we did it for

48:26

four years, but she was in medical school. So

48:28

we wanted to see where she got placed for

48:31

her residency. Did you believe that she was the

48:33

one at any point? I

48:35

did. I did. Around what point was that? Probably

48:38

around year two. Okay. Year two.

48:40

So year two, you felt like she was the one. Yeah,

48:42

definitely. All right. And then you just wait non logistics and

48:45

you know, you and I, it was something that she also

48:47

like, she wanted to wait because she didn't know where she

48:49

was going to be at. And so I was just trying

48:51

to respect what she wanted. Um, but

48:53

I knew and I felt like if I was to

48:55

do it, then I would be comfortable with my decision.

48:58

But it has to be both of us have to agree on it. So

49:01

she ended up getting placed in a state that

49:03

was not Atlanta. And as we

49:05

tried to do long distance, it didn't work

49:07

out. Communication like we're both like people who

49:09

like to spend time quality time and it

49:11

just didn't work out. And so I think

49:14

God made that move happen

49:16

because it's crazy. I wasn't in

49:18

the church then. And when she moved,

49:20

I think like a few weeks later I came to

49:22

change. And so it was like I

49:24

got invited and I think that

49:26

opportunity that I may have not taken because I

49:28

was always going to Philly back and forth. And

49:30

that was my reason I'm always going to Philly

49:32

for the weekend. And so I think that just

49:34

something was removed so that God could take that

49:36

place. And now you know, things

49:38

are working out better. So good. And

49:41

so you feel like there's no timeline, but

49:44

when do you believe, how long do you

49:46

believe as a man that you would date

49:48

a woman exclusively before

49:51

pulling the trigger and asking her to marry? I mean,

49:54

I think that you need to see somebody through all seasons. I

49:57

think it's easy to say we'll get married with everything

49:59

is going right. We haven't had the arguments, I haven't

50:01

met your family. Like there's things that have to happen.

50:03

I don't think it's a timeline, but more about situations

50:05

have to occur. And I want to see how we

50:07

both react in those situations. It might be a communication

50:09

thing. It might be a family thing. Like I want

50:11

somebody who's tied in with their family, who loves their

50:13

family. I want to see your friends. Like it's hard

50:15

for me to date women who don't have a lot

50:17

of women around them. Cause it tells me a lot

50:19

about them. And so just like I want her to

50:21

be my guys. Like you need to see who I

50:23

hang out with because they're a reflection of me. I'm

50:25

a reflection of them. And so I think it's more

50:27

just like things need to happen. So I can see

50:29

you in every season, in every situation. And at that

50:31

point, there's no time on it. That's in three months.

50:33

If that's in two years, then I'm going

50:36

to be ready and okay with that. So you would

50:38

be willing to date a woman two, three years without

50:41

knowing where you're going to place in your life. I

50:44

would know, but she has to be

50:46

on the same page as me. Cool. So

50:48

like I said, I wanted to do so, but if

50:50

she wasn't prepared, then either I had to make a

50:52

decision or try to wait it out, which I tried

50:54

to wait it out and it just didn't work out.

50:56

Good. Anthony, what about you? Nah,

50:58

it's kidding me. No, we're going

51:00

to talk about you. Nah, we're going to ask

51:02

you. Nah, I'm going to be real. I'm

51:05

single. You have not been in

51:08

a, no woman, I'm ready. Hold up. Yeah.

51:11

But listen to what I'm saying is I'm single.

51:13

I haven't been in a successful relationship. So I

51:15

don't know. That's why I listened

51:17

to Darris and Shemeika. That's why I listened to

51:19

my passage to get the wisdom to know, because

51:21

when I know I will know and I will

51:23

make that decision. Until then, I can't sit here

51:25

and say, I'm single. Say, I know, I'll put

51:27

through it here. I don't know. I would have

51:29

already done it. So

51:32

pass me, bro. I don't have that answer. Life

51:37

is full of things to manage,

51:39

your work, your family, your plans,

51:41

and your treatment. Consider

51:43

Qycempta, Ophatumumab 20 milligram injection. You

51:45

can take it yourself from the

51:47

comfort of home. If you're ready

51:49

for something different, ask your healthcare

51:51

provider about Qycempta and check out

51:54

the details at qycempta.com. Brought to

51:56

you by Novartis Pharmaceuticals Corporation. I'm

51:59

asking a better question. I'm gonna ask you

52:01

a better question. Are you feeling

52:03

hopeful with the type of women that you're meeting

52:05

right now? I Love

52:19

it. That's it You

52:24

know to answer that question Absolutely, man. I

52:26

do if we have some amazing ladies in

52:29

the kingdom I think the

52:31

hope the hopeful the hopeless part wasn't

52:33

on the woman. It was on me if I was being odd good

52:36

And I and it goes back to whatever saying earlier and

52:38

I'll say this and just call this out if PD is

52:41

upset with me He'll be upset with me in the back

52:43

and he'll get me but it was it was it was

52:45

last year me and PD are sitting Now having lunch. He

52:47

looked at me dead in my face. It's that the reason

52:49

why you're not married is because of you and

52:56

Sharpener and Him

52:59

and his wife both know of amazing ladies that

53:01

I've dated And for me

53:04

that it was a level of Immaturity

53:06

in certain areas of my life that

53:09

I needed to mature in good good

53:11

and and so hopeful

53:14

for the ladies Absolutely. We

53:16

have amazing ladies out there. I just

53:18

had to become that amazing man first.

53:20

Love that love that. Excellent I love

53:22

accountability. Love it. Love it Anisha

53:26

what about you? You feel

53:28

like it's a timeline But you feel like you were

53:30

being loved bombed if you met a guy and he

53:32

was checking off all the things that you had On

53:35

your list and he said will

53:37

you marry me and it was three months y'all

53:39

went through some seasons? I have some real talks

53:41

you vetted him through your accountability partners and stuff

53:43

like that. You brought him to Pastor

53:46

and he said listen, he took y'all

53:48

through some pre pre-mailed on counseling and

53:50

it was three months Would you be

53:52

afraid to embrace that relationship? I

54:00

The honest answer is yes, I think

54:02

naturally it's scary, but also to my

54:04

therapist said, I don't know is an

54:06

answer. So I'm gonna go

54:08

with that too. But I think what

54:10

Corey said is important as well. Like three months can

54:12

be amazing and I still haven't seen you angry. Angry

54:16

and sad, mad are two different things.

54:19

Angry, what really sets you off? And

54:21

what does that do? How do you treat

54:23

me in that as well? And

54:25

then also it lets me know how I'm able to speak to

54:27

you. Are you able to hear me? And if you're not, you're

54:29

only able to hear your homeboy. This is

54:32

not gonna work. I need you to trust

54:34

me in some level. So to Corey's point,

54:36

I think it does require some seasons in

54:38

three months. It may be enough, but if

54:41

it's only good, we haven't seen enough seasons.

54:44

What about you, Amber? We

54:48

have my, oh, I thought. Is

54:50

it his own? No. My

54:55

father told me

54:57

that he asked my mother to marry

54:59

him two weeks after

55:02

they were dating. And they

55:04

were married two years later because

55:06

her mother made them wait, but she said

55:09

yes. How old were they during that time?

55:11

She was 29, I believe,

55:13

and he was maybe 31. And her

55:15

mama made them wait. And her,

55:17

yes, my mother was a virgin. My

55:20

mother was a virgin so she was married and

55:23

heavily in the church. So she

55:26

referenced her parents' opinions in their

55:28

direction. So her

55:31

mother made them wait for two years, but she

55:33

said yes two weeks. And

55:35

they stayed married. And he told

55:37

me this maybe about a month ago.

55:39

He said, do you know I never, your

55:42

mom and I never had an argument. I

55:44

said, did I come on? No, he

55:46

said, we never had an

55:48

argument. He said, we may

55:50

have had a disagreement, but

55:53

we never had an argument. And they were married for

55:55

15 years before she passed and

55:58

happily married. So. So to answer

56:01

that question, I don't think for

56:03

me, if

56:06

I feel like your relationship with God

56:08

is intact and I can trust that

56:10

relationship, and you're telling me that God

56:12

said that I'm your wife, I

56:15

don't care if it's two weeks, three

56:17

years. Now, I will be honest though, to

56:19

be real, like she said, it's scary for

56:22

me being a single mom, because you're not

56:24

just marrying me, you're marrying my child. So

56:26

there can be things that are revealed through

56:28

our courtship that I might be like, does

56:31

this work for my son? But

56:34

my son has a very active father who's in

56:37

his life, so I'm not necessarily looking for someone

56:39

to be his father. He has one of those.

56:42

But it is important to make sure that you're

56:45

a good fit for our entire

56:47

family. But if your relationship with

56:49

God is evident, and it's real,

56:51

it's not just talk. I dated

56:53

a whole pastor once and I didn't see him ever

56:56

pray other than over the food. Something

57:08

was wrong with that picture. So

57:13

my father was a pastor and

57:15

I constantly saw him in his

57:18

word, I constantly, the conversation was

57:20

always God centered. So if I

57:22

hear that, they say that we

57:24

date people like our

57:26

fathers, if I hear that now

57:29

being a more matured, healed

57:32

woman, that's what I'm looking for. So

57:34

hey, if God says it's so, then let it

57:37

be so. There it is, there

57:39

it is. I

57:43

think that you can know early, but I

57:45

don't think you should rush into early. I

57:47

think if you understood what it takes to

57:49

stay married, happily married, if you really saw

57:51

the sacrifice, you truly have to die to

57:53

yourself or your spouse to live. And that's

57:56

a heavy thing to take on. It's not

57:58

about what you see on Instagram. It's not

58:00

the pretty pictures. It's not the vacation. It

58:02

takes more than just your relationship with God

58:04

to be one with somebody who's completely different

58:06

from you, whose background is completely different for

58:08

you. There are seasons you do need to

58:10

see each other in before you rush because

58:12

you think you're a red child. But

58:15

I'm just saying it can be different, but anger

58:18

is a big thing. How you deal with finance is a big

58:20

thing. How you deal with family is a big thing. What are

58:22

they like with their children? Because a lot of people have kids

58:24

outside of marriage nowadays. Like there's

58:26

so many things in integrity that only

58:29

time can show. And that's the question.

58:32

Time. What does that look like? It's not

58:34

as specific. And that's my point. So what

58:36

happens is, is that... Because

58:40

it's no, what happens is I

58:42

believe we've complicated marriage so much.

58:44

Now the reality is, yes, there

58:47

are some real things that marriage counseling

58:50

and all of that stuff and pre-marital

58:52

counseling can, can, um, an earth, but

58:54

we've gotten so intelligent about trying to

58:56

figure out marriage so much that no

58:59

one is making the decision to get married. And

59:02

that's what, that's what I'm seeing. It's like, it's

59:04

like we're at a state in

59:06

the United States where marriage isn't happening. And you see

59:08

our parents and stuff that got married, they didn't know

59:10

nothing about marriage. They just said, I love you. They're

59:12

going to build a life together. I'm going to get

59:15

this job and, uh, you're going to go ahead and

59:17

take care of these kids and we're going to be

59:19

married. You know what I'm saying? How many people are

59:21

getting married right now and divorcing? But

59:23

that's it. But still they have something to do

59:25

with long suffering. There's this thing called the fruit

59:27

of the spirit and when the fruit of spirit

59:29

is long suffering and we don't operate with what

59:31

long suffering looks like, when it gets hard, if

59:34

we say, I'm going to throw the towel, we

59:36

treat marriage like we're boyfriend and girlfriends. So

59:38

the reality is marriage is a covenant. If

59:40

Christ treated us like a boyfriend or a

59:42

girlfriend, he would have divorced me a long

59:44

time ago. He would have broke up with

59:47

me a long time ago. He would have

59:49

kicked me to the curb a long time

59:51

ago. He would have moved out of my

59:53

house a long time ago, but he says

59:55

I'm married to the backslider. What that means

59:57

that even when we are not in communion

59:59

with each other, I'm. I'm still in love

1:00:01

with you. I'm still chasing after you. I'm

1:00:03

still pursuing after you. I'm still married to

1:00:05

you. This

1:00:08

is the way you do so why do you

1:00:10

let's hear us with field? My

1:00:13

guy, say,

1:00:15

I'm gonna talk to you, Pastor. Had

1:00:18

we complicated marriage too much? How old were y'all when

1:00:20

y'all got married? Yeah. Um,

1:00:23

I know, 22, 23. Okay.

1:00:27

And how much did you really know? I see, gosh,

1:00:31

it's been a long time. That's been a

1:00:33

long time. But did

1:00:35

you really know at 22 years old about marriage? I

1:00:39

don't think I knew a lot, but

1:00:43

I knew enough. What did you know? I

1:00:45

knew, I

1:00:49

had some sense of where I

1:00:51

thought my life was going. I

1:00:54

had some sense of

1:00:56

what I thought that would be like. And

1:01:02

I had some sense of the kind of woman

1:01:04

that. Life is

1:01:06

full of things to manage, your

1:01:08

work, your family, your plans and

1:01:10

your treatment. Consider Qasimta,

1:01:12

Ophatumumab 20 milligram injection. You can

1:01:14

take it yourself from the comfort

1:01:16

of home. If you're ready for

1:01:18

something different, ask your healthcare provider

1:01:21

about Qasimta and check out the

1:01:23

details at qasimta.com brought to you

1:01:25

by Novartis Pharmaceuticals Corporation. I felt

1:01:27

like it would take to

1:01:29

go along that ride. There it is. And

1:01:32

that's just probably because my parents have

1:01:34

been married now 45 years. Wow.

1:01:40

So that

1:01:42

was just kind of my paradigm. And so I

1:01:45

just kind of felt like, I mean, I don't

1:01:47

advise getting married that, that's a completely different conversation.

1:01:49

I don't advise getting married that young. At 22? I

1:01:52

don't. Then how old you at that

1:01:54

time? I was 22. Are y'all both at 22? I

1:01:57

guess so. I was 22. We

1:52:00

have to like keep her on the window. So

1:52:03

like just don't say that. So

1:52:05

I said, Rod was for the

1:52:07

streets. You were outside. That's

1:52:09

right. So

1:52:12

either way, there was something. And

1:52:18

he was for the streets. You

1:52:21

were outside for it? Yeah, of course. So but

1:52:24

that was something about him. I feel like

1:52:26

the way he leaned into me, the way

1:52:28

he shared his belief and the way he

1:52:30

loved me, I'm like, okay, this is something

1:52:32

different. So I was willing to pay for

1:52:34

the first date. I was willing to

1:52:36

put his cell phone in my name

1:52:38

because I'm like, he's different. And this is someone

1:52:40

that I would want to marry because of the way

1:52:42

he treated me. And so and I also

1:52:44

knew I was making an investment because he was a

1:52:47

very smart man. So I'm like, oh, this is going

1:52:49

to pay off eventually. And my husband. And

1:52:53

it's Andy. He

1:52:58

said eventually. So with me, I

1:53:00

saw that. How long were you all together before

1:53:02

you saw the promises of God being fulfilled? When

1:53:04

you started reaping the benefit of that, where you

1:53:06

start saying, God, I see it. I

1:53:09

feel like I feel

1:53:11

like practically it took some years, but I

1:53:13

feel like God showed me immediately. Once we

1:53:15

got married, we moved straight to New Jersey

1:53:18

because he was in seminary. So immediately I

1:53:20

saw God showing up in different ways. And

1:53:22

the woman that he helped me become because

1:53:24

I do feel like he upgraded me. I

1:53:26

saw it then, but then, you know, practically

1:53:29

in our life, there were things that I

1:53:31

always had on my list because my parents,

1:53:33

they were well off. They

1:53:35

weren't rich, but they were well off. And so

1:53:37

there was dreams that I had as a young

1:53:39

girl. And so when we talked about those dreams and

1:53:41

he was like, I'm going to make every one of them come

1:53:43

true and they start coming true. I'm like, okay. That's

1:53:46

what he told you? Yeah, absolutely.

1:53:49

Hi. It's just absolutely.

1:53:54

Yeah. Always wanted. It's

1:53:58

always wanted.