0:00

Welcome to Deckheads, a production

0:02

of IR Radio. Welcome

0:05

to Deckheads with your hosts Nick

0:08

and Anna, broadcasting

0:10

from the bottom of the boat below

0:12

below deck whoa, I'm

0:15

horny, all yak

0:17

talk all the time. I'm

0:19

having a party. We're

0:21

shoveling cold to keep this show afloat.

0:24

I love cocaine. We're

0:27

off the map in international waters.

0:30

I need some drama. Me hide

0:33

that cocaine. Never in

0:35

my nose. Should see you

0:37

know, I'm in an open relationship

0:41

below deck me

0:46

deckheads. Hey, Nick, Hi

0:49

Anna? How are you? I'm

0:52

so good? How are you? You know

0:54

what day it is? Yes, I

0:56

will tell you what day it is. It is the seventh

0:59

day since we last recorded

1:01

this show. It's

1:04

been seven days. I've never

1:06

felt lighter. You know. It

1:08

was awful. Though I saw you yesterday.

1:11

You promised you would

1:13

not see me. That's right, that's

1:16

bad for me. You're

1:18

a liar. I had a great time seeing

1:20

you. However, you

1:22

are a liar. Yeah, Now everybody

1:25

knows, um I

1:27

did. There's daily daily zeitgeist

1:29

yesterday, but it that was a month ago.

1:31

Now. Yeah, by time you hear this, you'll

1:33

be like, what's their daily side? Guys? Because it's

1:35

been canceled, but it's oh

1:39

my god, I have some plans.

1:41

Just really makes to me nervous. Nick

1:43

did Daily Side guys go back and listen to that episode

1:46

a month ago. It would be very topical news

1:48

from a month ago. At that point,

1:50

we were laughing about Amy Coney

1:52

Barrett getting in the Supreme Court. Now

1:55

we we have no idea that now she

1:58

of course is the only member

2:00

of the Supreme Court. Also, I'm

2:02

pretty sure this drops on election day,

2:04

so this is probably this

2:06

episode is gonna be like Laddie that

2:11

forever that. It's

2:14

like people could possibly be like,

2:16

oh man, I love that we're so confident about

2:19

Biden because it allowed me to vote

2:21

for Bernie.

2:25

I'm not confident about it. I mean, like this can go either

2:27

way. We can all be like, oh, thank the Lord. Or

2:30

tonight when you guys hear this people,

2:32

I mean I doubt there will be um,

2:35

there won't be like any more media.

2:40

No. I mean like, I don't know if we'll have an answer tonight.

2:44

Oh of course, well well we will.

2:46

I think we will. You know why I think

2:48

we will because they don't

2:50

need everything counted. It just needs

2:52

to be overwhelming and it will be

2:55

like, I understand that Trump will wait

2:57

till every last ballot is counted,

3:00

and that's fine, whatever he needs to do. But

3:04

but we will know on the night

3:06

that he is um

3:09

that Biden has one and

3:13

he's going to win by such an overwhelming

3:15

majority. Oh my god, close,

3:18

it will be close. I don't believe

3:21

in superstition, you know,

3:23

no, superstition is only

3:25

only works if I can't believe. For you to text

3:28

and be like, can you cut all that out? There's

3:31

no reason to one overwhelmingly

3:35

I hope. So four hundred or

3:38

five, five hundred electoral

3:41

votes for Biden, I hope. So are

3:43

you making Oh? No, Nick? Is

3:45

this a classic? Nick is doing bets on the side.

3:48

No, I'm just saying I'm not betting

3:51

on politics anymore. It's too

3:53

I mean, come on, you can't bet

3:55

on politics, You'll lose everything. I

3:57

only bet on sports, and

4:00

mostly baseball, and I would

4:02

love to talk to you about the turnstile method whenever

4:04

you have to. No. No, So, I was gonna

4:06

say it's exciting because it's finale day.

4:11

Sure, yeah, finale.

4:14

Oh yes. The everyone's

4:16

least favorite episode of Below

4:18

Deck, the episode

4:20

where it all comes to a sputtering

4:23

halt finale

4:26

day. Honestly, I felt like

4:28

last week was the finale, and

4:30

now this one it's like, uh, we

4:33

gotta we gotta see

4:35

everything we know is going to play out

4:38

play out. Everybody who's

4:40

in some weird fucking non

4:43

relationship is going to have to go

4:45

through the motions that everybody always

4:47

goes through. Let's just

4:49

get into it, because I want to talk

4:52

about it so badly. Oh,

4:54

unless you had more ship to yap about.

4:57

Okay, don't be rude to me. I'm

4:59

fat, but no, I

5:02

have nothing more

5:04

to say. Now you want you

5:06

can't say I'm fab then pick up

5:08

a clean X and start picking your nuse. Not

5:11

picking my nose. I'm just clean all the guy in yuck

5:13

in it. Oh,

5:16

because when I'm cleaning, when I picked my

5:18

nose, I'm not cleaning all the yuck

5:20

in it. What I'm doing is

5:23

stabbing my nose so it bleeds

5:25

and I can go home early. That's

5:31

a great memory of old times when we were allowed

5:33

to bleed be places that we could leave early.

5:36

Yeah, I gotta remember needing to

5:38

leave somewhere. No,

5:41

you like your house, Yeah,

5:45

so we built our garage out Now we've

5:49

we've got a little gym out there, we got

5:52

a little table, got a podcasting studio. It's

5:55

anything you need, you know, it's a convertible space.

5:58

We got a little extra space. Now

6:00

that it's not so hot, we can go

6:02

use the garage. And it's nice

6:05

to have another bit

6:08

of land relationship.

6:12

Ay, a

6:14

garage at all. We do have

6:16

a garage. Yes, I got

6:19

a little parking spot. There's only four units, you know,

6:21

so the garages are all right behind our

6:24

apartment and you can just walk

6:26

out there and it's quite spacious. I

6:29

do love that about you because

6:32

we also we don't. Nobody parks in their

6:34

garage. Everybody uses their garage

6:36

for storage. That was a building

6:38

thing long before we got here. Oh

6:42

cool. Well, I'd love to talk

6:44

to you more about the timeline, the

6:46

history of the apartment. My landlord

6:48

actually grew up in the city. It

6:50

was a house. It was cut into four.

6:54

No, no, we know all this. She's

6:56

actually um fallen ill recently

6:58

and has been in hospital quite a

7:00

bit. Okay, well, I'm sorry to hear that. Let's

7:02

get into this show. Did

7:06

you watch this live by any chance? Hello?

7:09

What's that? Oh? My god? No,

7:12

No, the landlord. No, Nick,

7:15

well do we have to move? Oh

7:18

right, No, it's not time to think about that. Yeah.

7:20

No, of course I'll be at the viewing. Of

7:23

course, we'll host the viewing. Yes, bring

7:25

the body in any time. Okay,

7:28

understand you

7:33

viewing. You'll never guess.

7:36

Oh did you hear all that? Yes, you're

7:39

on a podcast. Oh

7:41

yeah, So apparently Noboden

7:43

in her family was still alive.

7:46

Jesus Christ. I'm next of kin. I'm

7:50

the oldest tenant in the building. Yeah,

7:53

no, I'm not. There is one lady older than

7:55

me, so she would host the viewing technical

7:57

I guess, yes, and i'd go next door. But

7:59

I can't go over there because she's got cats. So

8:02

she that's why it falls on me. Why

8:05

because it's an imperative that you

8:07

have to be there. Why

8:12

it's next door, I can't

8:14

go. It's the social event

8:16

of the season in our building. Okay,

8:18

we need to start this episode so I

8:20

can leave here. I tried to start this episode

8:23

three minutes ago. Yeah, um,

8:25

okay, did you watch this episode live?

8:28

I did not watch this episode at all, but

8:30

I'd love to hear your take on it. Okay, so

8:32

you didn't watch the after show. Uh

8:35

no, And you gotta stop

8:38

saying that there's an aftershow, because there isn't.

8:40

An after show is watch

8:44

what Happens Live.

8:46

It's not a Below Deck after show. And

8:49

you can confuse me. Last time you said this and

8:51

I thought, well, I guess there's some show that's about

8:54

Below Deck Outer Blood and what there isn't. It's

8:56

just watch what Happens Live?

8:58

Tell the people you lied to me. But it has

9:02

the cast of the show on

9:04

it, so it's technically an after show. No,

9:06

I didn't watch it. What happened? Tell

9:08

me what happened? Nothing

9:11

they had I shot bugs

9:14

and Jess on it and

9:16

Jess those are all the stews

9:18

from the season. Yes, Jess clearly

9:20

shaded Rob. We're

9:23

going to see some very interesting

9:26

stuff between them on the reunion.

9:29

Okay, I am, Look,

9:32

I don't there's no reason I

9:34

feel so bad for Rob. God,

9:38

I feel so bad for him

9:41

because he didn't realize

9:43

she was going to be this

9:46

level of a psycho. And

9:48

yes, I'm taking that word back psycho. I

9:51

mean I'm giving it back to the bad people

9:55

like me. Okay.

9:59

Anyway, she he sucks and

10:01

she's dangerous and I

10:03

do not like her. And she needs mental

10:05

health. Oh, Jess,

10:08

Jess, Yes, she needs to see doctors.

10:11

Plural stat people

10:14

who say stat she needs to

10:16

see them.

10:19

She ruins every single night. She

10:21

has ruined every single night that they've gone out.

10:24

Every night that Rob has tried to

10:26

have a good time, she has ruined it. That is a

10:28

fact. Also, Rob

10:30

reminds me of some people who

10:33

I'm close to who really need

10:35

to break up with fucking Jess and the fact

10:37

that he leaves with her. I

10:40

need to cut people like that out of my life.

10:42

Well, I just want you to know it's

10:45

okay. They do end up breaking up. But I don't think

10:47

Jess. I think just just you know, it needs

10:49

like therapy to deal with a lot of stuff

10:51

that she went through with her family growing up.

10:54

Yeah, that's what I said. Yeah,

10:56

but you called her names that were unnecessary.

10:59

I said, she needs to get some mental help.

11:02

Sure, there, ring Pete. All right, let's

11:04

start. Okay, guys, this is below deck Med season

11:06

five episodes with Michael

11:08

Phelps. She needs to talk to Michael Phelps.

11:11

Yeah, well, Michael Phelps still is struggling

11:13

from smoking weed at one time. Right,

11:16

It's not what you said the other day that's what

11:18

every No, I didn't say that,

11:20

That's what Miles said. And

11:22

you think everything I say is Miles

11:25

said in the opposite Well,

11:28

um, yeah. So

11:30

Season five Mediterranean Episode

11:33

twenty the official finale of

11:35

season five. So we continue

11:38

with Robin Jess fighting, and Rob telling

11:40

David David.

11:44

Remember the ghost David that works on the

11:48

David. Yeah, he tells

11:51

David, Hey, David, I think I'm going to go on the Crossing

11:53

with you. And David's like, okay,

11:56

are you sure about that, dude, because like

11:59

I know, You're balls are going to be ripped

12:01

off, right, So it's like, I'll

12:03

join you on the Crossing this season because he says it will

12:05

be a great opportunity for him to see if yachting

12:08

is something he wants to do and if it would

12:10

give him and Jess some also. He says

12:12

it would give him in jest, some space because

12:14

right now they are not doing well

12:16

and they can't stop fighting and Jess

12:18

has a knife up to his throat.

12:22

Look, he got his balls

12:24

jiggled for a few weeks. It was

12:26

a dope relas time to throw

12:28

the deuces and jet ski

12:31

on your feet. Skis, bro, you

12:34

fucking strike that match stick and

12:36

get to step it. Daddy, long

12:39

legs gots to crawl, you know,

12:42

you know, hop on them, getaway sticks

12:45

and out of town.

12:50

Him? Hi, Rob, how

12:56

have you been? I've been

12:58

good? Thank you for asking. Finally, I

13:00

just sorry I lost all respect for you

13:02

this episode. But why

13:05

because you left with Jess

13:07

You fucking simp Okay,

13:09

but what do you call a fake noodle? Oh?

13:13

Don't try to distract me with jokes

13:15

right now, Rob, a fake noodle? I don't

13:17

know a foodle an impasta.

13:22

That's pretty good, thank

13:25

you, Nick. That's that's huge for me that you just

13:27

said that. Now, can you hold on one second?

13:29

Pet Boys is calling about my car?

13:33

Rob? Is this you? I feel like pet

13:36

Boys letting

13:38

me know that my car is ready? You

13:42

know Howard is sometimes? Did

13:45

you have did a cave the ceiling cave in?

13:47

No? It was an oil check? And

13:51

did they find oil? Did they strike? Did

13:53

you strike it rich? No? Unfortunately

13:55

there was no oil. Okay, I have another question

13:57

for you, Nick, Okay, what if that was what at all?

14:00

Old check? Bu was? Yeah? Well, well

14:02

you looked at her in a says skirting

14:04

oil. You're a billionaire. But

14:07

no, it's never that. It's always just like, all

14:09

right, give me tw uh

14:15

okay, Rob?

14:17

Yes? Should you have your

14:19

whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?

14:22

Should I have my whole family for Thanksgiving

14:24

dinner? No? No,

14:27

you should just stick with turkey. M

14:30

hmm. Okay, I should go now,

14:33

al right, Rob, Okay, Well, this

14:35

is the last time I'll ever see you. That's

14:39

not true. There's two episodes of the Reunion

14:41

anyway, bye, Bud. No

14:45

you won't. I will not watch the reunions.

14:48

No, my storyline continues. I

14:51

don't think it does. No, I promise you

14:53

not. The way I watched the show, I

14:56

fast forwarder you like your Peter? Oh?

15:00

Okay, bye bye bye

15:02

Rob. All right, well, so Bucks,

15:05

I hate to get so mean to Rob. Yeah,

15:07

you're very dismissible. Yeah, I'm

15:09

sorry. I just had to

15:11

get his car at pet Boys. Like, why do you

15:14

think so mean? Buddy? He's

15:16

a simp. He's

15:18

a simp. He's a horny male.

15:21

That's he's a simp. Okay.

15:25

So Buck says she's very proud of her interior

15:27

team and that they've come a long way.

15:30

And she thinks though that there's an expiration

15:32

on yachting and she will eventually settle

15:34

down. But right now she's like Peter

15:36

Pan in a girl's body, and

15:38

she isn't ready to settle down yet.

15:40

She just wants to wear all the accessories

15:43

known to mankind. Uh

15:48

yeah, geez, man, do you think she's gonna

15:51

get out of here and open up the Claire's?

15:54

I mean, if we're lucky, there's a chance

15:56

she already owns a Claire franchise where

15:58

all her like, you know,

16:01

Claire's franchise?

16:04

What did I say, Claire? Okay,

16:07

I think we're going to survive that little

16:09

mishap. I quit,

16:13

Thank god. Hold on, I'm getting a call.

16:15

What's that? Oh yeah, my

16:17

contract forever? Oh

16:21

right? No, yes, you remind me every

16:23

week when I try to quit. Okay,

16:26

bye, Mr iHeart? Where

16:29

were we? Mr?

16:32

iHeart? Yeah,

16:34

reminded me of my contract. I had to do

16:37

this forever. Yeah. The only

16:39

way out of it. You

16:41

owe us money? Yeah, I

16:43

don't know how. I really should have

16:45

gotten a lawyer to look at that contract. Yeah,

16:49

I'm in debt to I Heart Radio for

16:51

over thirty five million dollars. It's

16:53

your problem, dog, so um,

16:56

I suggest you cannot wait to go home

16:58

and leave yachting and forge her

17:00

own future. She is ready

17:03

to dump these losers for

17:05

sure. And Tom says he's

17:07

never had so much stress that

17:09

like he's had in the two weeks

17:11

working in a galley on this fucking

17:14

boat. While Tom,

17:17

that's what it's like. This

17:19

is below deck. This

17:22

isn't no classy joint. Okay,

17:25

Wow, Well

17:27

what I've

17:30

never heard you speak this way? Well,

17:32

it ain't no classy joint. And

17:34

it ain't no classic joint,

17:37

no classic joint spirit

17:41

a classed joint. And this ain't one

17:43

of those classic joint. Center ain't no

17:45

classic joint. It's

17:48

true. Think that's my best song? What

17:52

do you think that's the best song I've ever sung on here? No,

17:54

you've sang better usually

17:58

when it comes to standards. So they're attempting

18:00

to shock the boat for the final time.

18:04

Uh, and there's some god get

18:06

ready to drink, y'all. Yeah. So there's

18:09

a ground line in the way, and of course Captain

18:11

Sandy is so worried. She's so

18:13

worried. She says, if I hit that ground line,

18:15

I could fun a different career is

18:18

over. I have to I have to go back to being

18:20

straight. Yeah. If I hit

18:22

that ground line. Yeah, background

18:25

line did. Why were there so many ground

18:27

lines off that boat? That's crazy

18:29

and they were like really far out. But I

18:31

mean I certainly wouldn't have noticed it. She hadn't yapped

18:33

about it for twenty five minutes and two commercial breaks.

18:37

I agree, Yeah, I don't know why.

18:39

But guess what, nothing happens.

18:44

You know what that means fake drama. So

18:46

chug got chug pop to it,

18:48

ladies, nothing

18:51

happened? What a life

18:53

to live? Malia

18:55

says she hopes to be an inspiration because

18:58

she's a female Boston and she wants to inspire

19:01

other women who think they can't typically

19:03

do male jobs like being a bosun

19:06

or being a narc because she did

19:08

it. She's a woman. Yeah,

19:13

the passport in the shot. Ladies

19:16

who are like, I don't know if I can be a narc.

19:18

It's such a male dominated industry.

19:21

Wow, do we have news for you?

19:24

Malia did it? No big

19:26

deal and you can do. Hey,

19:29

guys, throw your fellow women under

19:31

the bus. You don't need them. La

19:35

la la la. I

19:39

think I just lost my mind there. She's

19:41

a real limbed trip. I

19:44

don't know that reference. What the fuck?

19:47

That's the woman who secretly

19:50

taped Monica Lewinsky talk

19:52

about what the president had done. Are

19:55

you serious? I didn't even know that was a part of

19:57

it. All I remember

19:59

is the seat or the cigar and the

20:01

pussy. That's all I know. You're

20:05

too young. Well yes, you're

20:07

right. So anyway, the guests

20:10

leave and they're like, oh my god, thank you so

20:12

much. By Hannah the main

20:14

Primary literally jumps off a but

20:16

like she goes boat to boat and boat and just park

20:18

course out of there, just fucking hops

20:21

boat to boat, just park course style.

20:24

There's a cement block somewhere she jumped

20:26

on. You

20:29

know she had gotten those lessons from Hannah.

20:32

Yeah, yeah, Well her name is

20:34

Hannah, the main Primary.

20:36

Oh I thought you were talking about Malia. That's

20:39

why I said Hannah, because I knew the main primaries

20:42

name. So it's

20:44

the final tip meeting, chitching,

20:46

chitching, chitching Baby.

20:49

Captain Sandy gives a long emotional

20:51

speech about wanting to have ended with the same

20:53

crew she started with, but life isn't

20:56

perfect, but things are better

20:58

in the end. She would not trade the is crew

21:00

for anything. Blah blah blah blah blah,

21:03

sequence on everything. Have you done so much

21:05

sequence. She has on everything. She

21:07

loves sequence. It's

21:09

such a like, guess, Florida aesthetic

21:12

is to have like an anchor made

21:14

out of sequence. Hey, fuck

21:16

you, my parents live in Florida.

21:19

Well, how much sequence does

21:21

your mom own covered? I don't even

21:23

think would clothes have cloth anymore?

21:25

They're just sequence. They're

21:28

very scratchy. She has a sequin

21:30

brah Okay,

21:33

she wears it as a T shirt. Those

21:36

gems gems are those the

21:38

gems on the T shirts?

21:40

R rhinestones. There

21:42

you go a lot of rhinestones.

21:45

Shine. They

21:49

love rhinestones as well. In Florida.

21:51

Apparently everything you know you wanna you

21:53

want either anchor made out of rhinestones

21:56

or sequence. Whatever floats

21:58

your boat. That's what we call a Florida

22:00

esthetic. Nobody's ever gotten Florida

22:03

better than you. Thank you, thank

22:07

you. So

22:09

yeah. We learned that they got a

22:12

twenty k tip, big

22:15

money. And we learned the season

22:17

total. They got US hundred

22:20

five hundred dollars and

22:23

every person got four two.

22:27

That's money. Who cares?

22:31

Okay, well, what

22:34

have I just said? That? For everything? You

22:36

can be frustrated. I

22:39

wouldn't say that you don't. Who

22:41

cares? But then I usually say something

22:43

that I want to talk about. This

22:46

partnership is going great. So

22:50

that's lovely. Everything's lovely about me. More

22:52

your lovely guy who cares about me.

22:55

This is the only kind of partnership

22:58

you'll allow. All right, let's

23:00

take a quick break. We're right

23:02

back, don't how so many we gotta

23:04

go? So m

23:06

h and

23:11

we're back. So at

23:14

the end of the tip meeting, Captain

23:16

Sandy gives all the crew different

23:18

certificates like they're most

23:21

likely twos, but then she basically

23:23

rated them all on the boof Beaufort Bufort

23:26

scale Beaufort scale, And

23:28

apparently, the Beaufort scale is an empirical

23:31

measure that relates wind speed

23:34

wind speed to observed conditions

23:37

at sea or on land. It

23:39

is the full name. Its full name is

23:41

the Bufort Wind Force Scale.

23:44

And I'm sorry if that was going to be your

23:48

boat fact, but I was curious

23:50

what it was. So Nick, this is how

23:52

I would rate you on the Baufort scale.

23:56

Me. Yeah, I

23:58

think I'm more of a rob types, so I would

24:00

guess I'm about a zero. No,

24:04

okay, I guess I'm mara at

24:06

com type. I

24:08

guess I'm a ten. No,

24:11

I would give you a between

24:13

a what's the most insulting number?

24:16

Is that what you're trying to figure out? Right now? I'm gonna

24:18

say what's the worst. I'm

24:22

gonna give you a seventy two. No, I'm gonna

24:24

give you an eleven and eleven. Because

24:27

it's a violent storm. That's

24:29

one more than tom and it's exceptionally

24:32

high waves. Small and medium size

24:35

ships might be for a time lost

24:37

to view. Behind the wave, the

24:39

surface is covered with long white patches

24:41

of foam lying along the directions of

24:44

the rain. Everywhere the edges

24:46

of the wave crests are being blown

24:48

into froth. Visits expected,

24:51

right right, everyone got, everyone gets

24:53

caught up? That's you? And

24:56

what was the good part? Um?

24:59

I think you're just you know, violent?

25:03

And what are you?

25:07

I'm a I'm

25:09

a a three A gentle

25:11

breeze. Wow, you're

25:15

a jess. That's a jess? Was a

25:18

three or a

25:22

five? A fresh breeze? Like a nice

25:24

How can I say? You're a

25:28

monster? What

25:30

number is monster? What

25:33

you got like a lockness? Monster?

25:35

You're an eleven, You're you're a violent

25:38

storm. I could have given you a twelve. You could

25:40

have been a Hurricane bitch. Okay, Well,

25:43

anyway, Jess gets really emotional

25:46

and thanks Captain Sandy for saying nice

25:48

things about her, because she says, her whole

25:50

life, she's been told she's basically stupid

25:52

and shitty and she has issues

25:55

from her childhood where she really struggled

25:57

to please her mother. So

25:59

we're gonna see a lot to that manifesto a

26:01

little bit. But yeah,

26:03

everyone's flipping the boat for the end of the

26:05

season, and Rob says he

26:07

doesn't know where he stands with Jess right now. Well,

26:09

here he goes, I don't know where I stand

26:12

with just right now, and

26:14

then Malie is like, have you guys had one fun

26:16

night out where you didn't end up in a fight, And he's

26:18

like, no, I guess note

26:21

and of course, of course, of

26:23

course, of course, of course, of course.

26:26

Yes. Everyone's getting ready to go out, and

26:29

of course tension starts

26:31

to brew between Jess and Rob. Can

26:33

I tell you something real quick? I just watched Hostile?

26:37

And uh, you know the guy? Have

26:39

you seen Hostile? No? I don't watch scary movies. Well,

26:41

it's easily two American backpackers

26:43

and they meet up with this European

26:46

guy and he's like older, and they start traveling with him.

26:48

Anyway, he says of course,

26:50

my horse, like four

26:53

or five times, and it is so jarring

26:56

every time he says it. I just

26:58

can't I am take it out of the movie.

27:00

I'm just like, where did this phrase go? Why

27:03

would this guy? How could that be? What you say?

27:05

Over and over anyway?

27:07

Of course, my horse, my horse.

27:10

I think I might start saying that, I

27:12

know you will, just to

27:16

spite you. I just like it, but

27:18

you should have to like it only because I said

27:21

that. I don't like it. No, I just think

27:23

it's funny, of course, But you're like, let me think what I

27:25

know about this? It rhymes. I love that it

27:27

makes Nick furious. I really love that. You're

27:30

right, I do love that it rhymes. Yeah,

27:33

of course, my horse. Of course. I like that you kind

27:35

of say it with like an affliction in the voice, like, of course

27:38

my horse. Yeah. Well that's how he says it. He's

27:40

got a little accent. Of course, my horse. Why

27:45

would you tell me? And if you don't want me to love

27:47

my horse, of course,

27:50

Oh my god, I love what you're doing. A horse got a

27:52

divorce? What

27:55

if Robert Morris got a horse, and

27:59

then they got a divorce. Sure,

28:02

okay, well the horse ohoh

28:07

probably dead? Oh my god.

28:09

Now if the baby horse miniature horse got

28:12

on a big horse, so um

28:15

baby of course

28:17

horse, my horse. Most

28:21

tension starts the brow between Rob

28:23

and Jess before they're getting going out, like they're getting

28:25

ready, and Rob's like, we just want to have fun

28:28

tonight. I'm going to get pissed.

28:30

We're going to We're just going to let go and have fun.

28:32

I'm going to be rowdy, and

28:35

Jess takes that as him

28:37

saying he doesn't want to be with her. She says, so

28:39

she is like, okay, then we can be single

28:41

tonight, and Rob's like, what wait,

28:44

wait, that's not what I had in

28:47

mind, says, this just affirms

28:49

my choice to go on the crossing and

28:51

not to bolly with Jess. This

28:54

just in to travel

28:57

looks unlikely. Mm

29:00

hmm. My horse, my

29:02

horse, of course, my horse. So everyone goes

29:04

out to work with the ghost. So

29:08

everyone goes out to dinner with Captain Sandy.

29:11

Yo, when is Captain Sandy gonna throw it down?

29:14

What do you mean? And just fucking she

29:16

and Malie are going to make it a fish God.

29:20

Well Captain Sandy tells

29:22

Tom. She's like, oh, it was such a gift

29:25

having you, okay,

29:28

And then Tom says, well, I hope I didn't

29:30

come off his rude. That was my intention.

29:33

She yelled at you, captain literally

29:35

yelled at you, dude, yes, and never

29:38

yelled at anyone yelled at them back, and

29:40

he says, that's what he says, says, I hope I didn't come

29:42

off his route. That was never my intention. Bitch.

29:44

You were stopping around

29:47

this yacht like the world

29:49

owed you. I don't think he was

29:51

rude. I just think he was a little piece of

29:53

ship. Yeah, well that comes off his route

29:56

to some people, not me.

30:00

I like that. That was not his intention to

30:02

be a monster apparently, So

30:07

suck everybody. Captain Sandy says.

30:09

Yacht chefs are the best chefs in the world

30:11

because they really have to adapt and work

30:13

on their feet and just like do it. And

30:16

I'm like, oh my god. Then Tom sucks because

30:19

he can't adapt. He freaks out. So

30:21

at dinner, a flamenco dancer comes

30:23

in performs for everyone, like for the

30:26

restaurant, and of course Bugs is like, well,

30:28

I need to go perform with the flamenco dancers.

30:30

So she goes and dances with them in her

30:33

wedges, so poorly

30:35

wedges. Baby, this is

30:37

what I don't understand. You know, sometimes they'll have, you

30:40

know, authentico performers come

30:42

on the boat, and then you know, only

30:45

the worst people will be like, I want

30:47

to join you. I'm

30:50

gonna dance, and you're like, lord,

30:52

this fucking fat, drunk cigar face

30:55

is gonna come stomp on my feet. And

30:58

then they get off off the

31:00

boat and they do the same thing

31:02

to other people. Yeah,

31:05

that's the thing. As soon as bugs does it, Alex

31:08

and Asha and a few other people

31:10

join as well, and it's just a small

31:13

little dance floor. And then all the performers

31:15

are I guess like they're like, I guess we're done. I

31:18

guess we'll go home for the night. They got it, Yeah,

31:21

because yeah, the crew decided

31:23

they also flamenco dance. Um

31:26

everything I did not see. Okay,

31:29

everyone goes and then Jess just sits there at

31:31

the table and just steams.

31:33

Oh steam, bitch,

31:36

steam back on the boat. Take a steam

31:38

boat. Get the funk outta

31:40

here. Everyone's trying to have a good time, even

31:43

Capty Sandy trying to throw that. I am right,

31:46

yeah, so annoying

31:49

anyway, I hate Jess.

31:52

Captain Sandy leaves after dinner and they

31:54

all head to the clerk, but in the elevator

31:56

someone farts really badly and it's

31:58

like, so ram Sid and it turns

32:00

out it was bugs. No,

32:03

it was Malia and

32:05

she said that does anyone ever an

32:07

extra underwear? And I was like, what

32:10

you ship yourself? Gross?

32:13

And Tom's like, yeah me romance.

32:18

She let out a tutor if

32:21

you know what on neuter anyway?

32:24

Um,

32:26

sorry, I'm so sorry you have to

32:29

experience that with me. At the

32:31

clerb, Jess and Rob

32:33

are back at it, and she says that

32:35

you know, they're fighting again, and she's like, you're like my

32:38

mom, because no matter what I do, you'll

32:40

never be happy. You'll always find

32:42

fault in it. And Rob's like, I

32:44

won't go to BALI then, and she

32:46

says we have been looking for a reason

32:48

to get out or to not go anything,

32:51

and then she stalks off, and then

32:53

Rob does the thing where he just closes

32:55

his eyes and leans his head back while

32:57

everyone around him is like, what just happened? Why did

32:59

she kock off? What's going on? And

33:02

then it appears Jess goes into a

33:04

mystery door. It looks like a

33:07

bookcase, but it's a door that leads into

33:09

another room. Did you

33:11

see that? Yeah, it

33:13

was really funny. All I could think about

33:15

was what if someone had just started

33:18

watching the episode, like just turned it on

33:20

there, and it just looks like

33:22

bugs is trying to talk

33:24

to the books. It's

33:27

weird, it's silly. Then out

33:30

of nowhere, the charter guests,

33:32

all the moms from the most recent charter,

33:34

the last charter, are all at the club that

33:37

they're at, so they all start hanging out

33:39

and Rob is talking to Hannah, the Parker

33:41

mom, and Jess, of course is of

33:43

course, my horse is not happy, of

33:46

course, and Rob's

33:48

being like, you have a you have a beautiful

33:50

soul, and she's like, you have a beautiful soul.

33:53

And Rob's like, I admire a strong woman.

33:56

And Hannah's like, I am a strong woman. And

33:58

he's like, I feel like I know how to speak

34:00

to women on an authentic level.

34:02

And it's like, what are you doing right now? Rob,

34:05

Like what are you talking about? And She's

34:07

like, yeah, totally, you are very authentically

34:10

speaking to me. I

34:12

don't even know what's going on. Well, Jess

34:14

is just daggers.

34:18

Yeah, but like, what is Rob talking about? Like, I know how

34:20

I think I can speak to women on authentic

34:22

level? What does that mean? Here's

34:24

what he's thinking. I'm drunk. I'm

34:27

gonna plow this. That's

34:30

it. That's all he's thinking. Even good

34:32

guys want to plow. Mm

34:35

that's the name of my memoir. Even

34:39

good guys were

34:42

the plow. Wow.

34:44

That's so beautiful. That's

34:47

what rodding home this

34:50

caw Wow,

34:53

that's gorgeous. Yeah.

34:56

So Rob continues to talk

34:58

to Hannah and they walk they're

35:00

like holding hands and they walk by Jess

35:02

and Jess literally throws her cigarette

35:05

at them and

35:07

that's a rough move. Didn't

35:09

hit her, no, but still

35:11

dangerous to throw your cigarette at someone. I

35:14

don't know. That's that's messy

35:17

bit ship. So anyway, back on the boat.

35:19

Outside of the boat, Rob is crying.

35:22

I don't know what is going on with these people. Like

35:24

one second he's like, I'm talking to party

35:26

and the next second he's like and

35:31

Malie is giving him a pep talk and she's like,

35:33

I really think Jess loves you.

35:35

But it's just like really tricky right now,

35:37

and he's like and

35:40

then Jess says she doesn't think

35:42

he wants to be together, so she's just going to give

35:45

him the now and he can be single.

35:47

And I'm like, girl, you don't mean that. You know you're

35:49

breaking hearted. John's

35:52

you're sit breaking hearted? What

35:54

do you think, Nick? Do you think she's say breaking

35:57

hurted? I think that

35:59

this in season is done.

36:01

Dog, Well, the storyline

36:03

isn't going anywhere. Well, it's

36:06

over. It's the next day, it's

36:09

the final day. It's departure day.

36:12

Rob and Jess are still fighting in the

36:14

morning and Jess is crying

36:17

and he says, I'm doing the crossing

36:21

and she's like, you're not doing the crossing, you're just running.

36:23

And he says I need some space

36:26

and she's like, you're damaging

36:28

me. And he's like, you're damaging

36:30

me. She's like, now you're damaging me and

36:32

you broke my heart. And then Rob says,

36:35

heartbreak is a gift. That's

36:37

true, it's a gift

36:39

he's giving to Jess. Yeah, that's

36:42

I don't even know what to think about that. But and then Rob says,

36:44

I just want to get off this boat. Let's just pack

36:46

and go. And then Jess cries

36:49

and begs him not to do the crossing,

36:51

and then he tells us that he has two days to

36:53

decide if he's doing the crossing or going to

36:56

Bali with Jess. Do the crossing,

36:59

do the gross I

37:01

think everyone wants him to do the crossing. God,

37:04

could you imagine if you went and did the crossing?

37:07

I think life would be incredible.

37:10

But now it sucks. Now

37:13

he's got to live in a van like everybody else.

37:17

Yeah, do you think I know? It's

37:19

like, okay, So these are two awards

37:22

we could give below Deck. It's the longest

37:24

running show with no UM

37:27

married couples, and

37:29

it's also the longest running show

37:33

UM. What was I

37:35

just talking about? Awards?

37:39

Yeah? What awards was? What was

37:41

that given an award out for? I don't know if all you didn't

37:43

say you said no married couples.

37:48

Well, you know what, let's take a quick break. You can think

37:50

about that will be raz Wait

37:53

a minute and

37:59

we're back. It doesn't remember what he was talking

38:01

about before break. That

38:04

was a great segue.

38:06

So Alex

38:08

leaves first and he says he feels like

38:11

he can now be a lead deckhan on a bigger

38:13

vessel. And then Bugs says goodbye.

38:16

I know it. Yes, below Deck their two awards

38:19

one no couples get

38:21

married and be the

38:24

longest running reality show with

38:26

the most contestants living in vans.

38:31

Okay, wow, thank you for that. Anyway,

38:33

Alex leaves first and Bug says

38:35

goodbye to him, and she almost calls him

38:38

her big brother, which is weird.

38:41

No, it's not, that's how she feels about him.

38:44

But she just makes out with her brother. No,

38:47

she just felt pressure to make out with him.

38:50

I don't know. I think she's just like Blackout and the

38:52

party. Yeah,

38:54

I will say. On the after

38:57

show watch what Happens Live, she

38:59

said she regrets not hooking

39:01

up with him sooner, getting

39:05

things popping off sooner. I

39:07

don't know, as like

39:09

having someone to like, you know, hook

39:12

up with on the show to like play. But

39:16

I don't know. It sounds like she likes

39:18

her brother. Wow.

39:23

Mhmm, that's gross. Anyway,

39:26

Rob and Jesse leave next, and it's really awkward

39:28

and weird, but yeah, they leave

39:30

together, and then we get a little thing, a little

39:33

card that says that Rob and Jess

39:35

went to Bally together, and

39:37

then we cut to Ice show, who says, oh, fa

39:40

fax sakes, that's a

39:42

terrible impression of ice show. You should full

39:45

fuck six there

39:47

you go? Yeah, perfect. So I

39:50

guess they went to Bally and he didn't do the crossing.

39:57

I don't like him anymore. Done? All

40:00

right, see you next week, Rob,

40:02

I mean Nick, it's me Rob. What

40:05

will you forgive me? No? Come

40:08

on, man, no, I'm cutting people

40:11

like you out of my life. But but

40:13

Nick, cutting you out

40:16

of my life? Nick? What?

40:20

Um?

40:24

I almost told you a kind of inappropriate

40:27

joke. But

40:31

now cutting you out of my life

40:34

was the greatest decision I ever made. What

40:37

What did the penis say to the condom

40:41

cover me? I'm going in? Okay?

40:47

What kind of bees produced

40:50

milk boobies?

40:53

Uh huh huh

40:56

huh huh huh

40:59

huh huh uh

41:02

Nick, Nick, what happened

41:04

to you? Nick?

41:06

It's me Rob. Nick,

41:09

It's me Rob. Okay, I got another one for you.

41:11

Because you live in Los Angeles. How

41:13

do you say? Fuck you in Los Angeles?

41:17

You say, trust me? Huh

41:22

huh? Okay,

41:25

it looks like you have left town. All

41:29

right, Okay,

41:31

I guess I'll leave. I hope you can forgive

41:33

me for leaving with Jess and going to Barley.

41:36

I you know how it is. Sometimes

41:38

I think I think with the wrong head. If

41:40

you know what I mean, and I mean

41:42

my penis, the bulb on my

41:45

penis, I think with that. I'm

41:48

sorry, Please forgive

41:50

me. The bulb has grown

41:52

big. I could not decide

41:55

which was my brain and which was my penis

41:57

head, and that led me to thee

42:00

with the wrong one. Nick.

42:03

Will you ever forgive me for

42:06

not doing the crossing? Nick?

42:10

Where are you? I need

42:12

you now more than ever, Nick,

42:18

I can see you hiding from me. You're

42:22

You're too big of a man to hide behind

42:24

that skinny, skinny tree. All

42:27

right, Rob, I guess you gotta go because Nick's

42:29

not interesting talking to you is very upset with you.

42:32

Oh okay, I'll go back

42:35

to bally by Ley. On

42:39

the after show, Andy Cohen kept

42:41

calling bally Bally. Okay,

42:43

fine, I forgive you, Rob, He's

42:46

gone. What yeah,

42:49

no, but I'm ready to forgive you. Went back

42:51

to bally or bally as Andy

42:53

Cohen kept pronouncing it. Maybe

42:56

it is bally, yeah, just like it's Lahalla.

42:59

So oh um, I shall

43:01

leaves an accent. She says she's so happy to

43:04

finally be going home and says this

43:06

season was so shitty that it

43:08

taught her that even she can be

43:10

unhappy, which is I think saying

43:12

a lot that I should discover sadness

43:15

while on this show. Oh

43:17

for sure. Yeah, and I

43:19

don't never even happened to her. She just showed

43:22

up late and I ruined

43:24

her. But like the vibeh,

43:29

yeah, maybe they were bad vibes. She was

43:31

like, this crew sucks. The vibes are bad.

43:33

I'm out of here anyway,

43:36

Bugs is leaving and then as she's

43:38

leaving, a really cute baby goat

43:40

shows up. Yeah,

43:43

what the fuck? I don't know. It's just like,

43:45

okay, where were they hiding this baby

43:47

goat? I don't know, but I was like, what's up,

43:50

little baby goat? Who probably owns

43:52

a yacht? That little baby goat so

43:54

rich? No? Really? Is he like

43:56

a chic? Yeah?

43:59

Oh? Also I

44:01

saw your smoking the same pen that Hannah

44:03

had. Yeah you get

44:05

it? Yes underlined I

44:08

got it at Hannah's personal store. No,

44:12

yeah, she sells him. Now you asked

44:14

you went in there? You're like, was Hannah Ferrier

44:16

in here? No? She

44:19

she owns the store and operates it. Oh

44:21

cool, all right, Well Malea

44:23

and Tom leave next and they're like, we're a happy

44:25

couple. We're out of here, We're going on another

44:28

boat together. And I'm like, good

44:30

luck, bitch, because,

44:32

as you know, they break up. She

44:34

basically implies that he cheated on

44:36

her with Jess.

44:39

No, not with Jess, with

44:42

Rob, No with

44:44

Whiz No, well, yes, with

44:46

wis What if it turned out to be whiz awesome.

44:50

I mean, it'd be a great plot point. Hm,

44:53

we're gonna have to get him back on the same boat,

44:55

fight it out. Yeah.

44:58

Well, anyway, Captain Sandy said this

45:00

has been the most challenging season she's ever

45:02

experienced, but you don't grow from the good times,

45:05

and this crew really stood out to her, and

45:07

she's proud of them and grateful to have

45:09

worked with them. And that's the end

45:11

of the episode. Baby,

45:16

Yep, it's time for boat

45:19

facts with Nikky Tease. You

45:22

know, I was thinking, you

45:24

know, sometimes these boat facts they're

45:26

really dry, you know, academic

45:29

facts. But today

45:32

I just wanted to have a little fun. So I google

45:34

what's what's the fun boat? You know, what's what's

45:36

the most fun boat? And

45:38

I'll tell you what it is. It's the laser fun

45:40

boat. It's the what

45:43

laser fun boat? Laser

45:46

fun boat. Yeah, it's a fun boat, a

45:48

fun boats, a type of boat. It's an entry

45:50

level sail boat. If you ever thought about sailing,

45:53

but you never thought about learning,

45:56

you can get a fun boat, easy

45:58

to rig, easy to sail. The fun Boat is

46:00

the perfect entry level sailboat with

46:02

a combination of roominess, stability, maneuverability,

46:05

and simplicity. The fun boat

46:08

is extremely seaworthy. Designed with a modified

46:10

tunnel hull, the fun boat has everything

46:13

for someone who just wants to have fun on the water. No center

46:15

board means no hassle when pushing off or

46:17

returning to your favorite beach. Just simply

46:20

jump on, hoist the sail, and you're off.

46:22

Enjoy. That's right. They got

46:24

these lasers for the guests

46:26

on sailing who wanted to have like a little relay

46:29

race or whatever. Oh

46:31

is that right? Yeah, Memory says, go get

46:33

the lasers. Yeah, well that's pretty

46:35

cool. They are about three grand. Should

46:38

we go in on one? Well, I think

46:40

I heard radio should buy this one. Oh

46:43

my god, you're right. That probably shouldn't be too

46:45

hard to ask for. Okay, good,

46:48

I'll just be like, hey,

46:50

Jack, O'Brien, can I expense this laser

46:53

I bought? And he'll be like no, He'll

46:55

be like no, d DZ just got

46:57

canceled. And

46:59

I'll be like that I had nothing to do with that. I

47:02

swear I didn't sell you out.

47:05

I swear all

47:07

I did nothing.

47:10

Alright, Well, that's both facts. That's

47:12

the show. I can't thank you all enough. That's

47:15

another season in the books. Of course, We've got a couple

47:17

of reunion episodes, and then we are back

47:20

on top with a new show, and it's great,

47:22

and we're gonna guess and

47:25

we're gonna expose our breasts and

47:27

we'll do nothing less breast

47:31

and I will make a nest stand

47:33

up. Let you do the best stand

47:35

all of the rest. Okay, we're not exposing

47:38

our breasts, but yes we are

47:41

wrong, guys, keep looking at

47:43

We're gonna keep dropping these. I

47:46

believe we'll drop. The reunion

47:48

apps will drop tomorrow along with the first

47:50

episode of season eight of Regular Below

47:53

Deck, and then after

47:56

tomorrow we're weekly. Baby, we're

47:58

not daily no more, but I used to three

48:00

times a day. Well,

48:04

sorry, but there's we

48:07

watched so much TV. I

48:11

just want to thank you, alright, by Alright,

48:13

guys, that's it. Follow us a deckheads pod

48:15

on Instagram and Twitter. Email us at deckheads

48:17

pod at gmail dot com. Oh and you know what you

48:19

can do? Recommend guests you want us to have on

48:22

who watched below deck because we would love to have them.

48:24

I'm at Anna hosting, Nick is at Nick's Turners.

48:27

Check out our merch on t public.

48:30

We have some fun stuff up there. And

48:33

uh yeah, guys, our final

48:35

request just leave us a five star review.

48:37

Do you see how much fucking work we did for you all

48:39

this this year? Oh my gosh,

48:41

we we we could. We could enjoy one

48:43

little fly star review. All

48:46

Right, We're out of here by

48:56

Deckheads is a production of I Heart Radio.

48:59

For more podcast from my heart Radio, visit

49:01

the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

49:03

or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H