0:17

Don't look under the internet .

0:38

Hello . Oh my god , Wow

0:40

great intro .

0:42

We're starting it off like this . We're in a hot one today , boys and girls . Hello

0:44

everyone . Welcome to Don't Look Under the Internet . It's a show . Yeah , great intro . We're starting it off like this . We're in a hot one today , boys and girls . Hello everyone . Welcome

0:46

to Don't Look Under the Internet , it's

0:48

a show . It's a show

0:50

where you guessed it internet

0:53

. There's a little horror not

0:57

that much comedy .

0:58

A little silly it's a little silly . It's more

1:00

annoying than silly , I

1:03

mean yeah .

1:06

We're more annoying and frustrating and silly . At least that's what

1:08

the youtube comments say .

1:09

Um , my comments and the spotify comments yeah

1:12

, we're making enemies all over the place several people rushed

1:14

to defend us against a comment that I published

1:16

like six months ago on the spotify

1:19

. So thank you . Which one do you remember ? Uh

1:21

, it was something about how annoyed they

1:23

were that we just like constantly went off on tangents

1:25

and took like 15 minutes to get to the actual topic

1:28

. And several people were just like but that's

1:30

what makes it dilutey . And I was like you're damn straight

1:32

.

1:33

You're goddamn right

1:35

. Look at that . That sounded like

1:37

it hurt . Oh , I kicked something under

1:39

the table . It's okay , boo

1:41

. Oh yeah

1:47

, we have a real wild one today , and by wild one I mean a mild one . Um , I'm gonna start

1:49

it off with a little bit of the old-fashioned deloady house to keep in

1:51

I'm gonna interrupt you because I'm

1:53

gonna forget otherwise , but it

1:55

is housekeeping .

1:57

We got a package from someone and they sent us this

1:59

book . Um , the book

2:01

is called morning glory milking

2:03

farm and it's

2:05

an actual book with words in it , not

2:08

not one that we have to fill and

2:10

it does mention .

2:11

Anyway , it does mention cock , it's

2:13

, it's smut kind of a lot .

2:15

it is smut and , to be honest , I don't know if

2:17

you meant to stay anonymous , but I

2:19

have no idea who sent this to us , because there was no

2:21

name , no letter , no , nothing inside of it

2:24

, just

2:28

a little package with no

2:30

note in it , just an .

2:31

Amazon package right to our door .

2:33

We'll keep it that way and they'll know yeah

2:36

they'll know , If you want to send us things , peep

2:38

the PO box in the descriptions

2:40

everywhere . On another

2:42

note , speaking of people sending us things

2:44

, we have people that are sending us money . Boy

2:47

, howdy is that very cool of you guys to do

2:49

. We're going to play the game . Going

2:51

to play the game name or

2:53

bad name Bad

2:56

or less bad ? Over on

2:58

Patreon . We got Bigfoot's

3:01

sister bitch fat .

3:04

All right , that one that's

3:08

a winner .

3:08

There's a bitch fat in these woods .

3:13

Bigfoot's Sister Bitch Fat .

3:15

I'm a big proponent of names that

3:17

are just random words

3:19

with no real reason that

3:21

are also offensive .

3:23

Alright , that one was solid . I like that Best one was solid . I like

3:25

that Best one we've had in a while

3:27

.

3:30

I don't think anything unfortunate will ever top fucking Big Jug of Hot Cheese

3:32

. Big Jug of Hot Cheese is pretty good . What ?

3:34

makes that one funnier is it's not Big Jug of

3:36

Hot Cheese , it's just Big Jug , hot Cheese .

3:41

Big Jug Hot Cheese . Big Jug

3:43

Hot Cheese .

3:45

Or he's right here a boy , bernard fingal bernard

3:48

fingal um angle but

3:50

we have over on the uh website

3:53

dilitycom . Uh , we

3:55

got dhoti yiva yiva

3:58

, oh well it's bad sorry

4:02

, yeah , your name , and

4:04

then we have General Silly Walks

4:06

. Okay , I don't know if that's

4:08

supposed to mean just General Silly

4:11

Walks .

4:12

No You're supposed to say , I just take General no they're

4:14

in the Army .

4:14

Is it about a ?

4:15

Monty .

4:15

Python reference .

4:17

I have only seen that movie once , and it was in high

4:19

school .

4:19

The Ministry of Silly Walks is a thing

4:21

. Is there a General Silly

4:24

Walks in the Ministry of Silly Walks ?

4:28

If there is , it's lost on us from here .

4:29

Yeah , exactly that's what I would assume .

4:32

General Silly Walks .

4:33

Really that's all I really got for asking Congratulations on

4:36

one of the worst financial decisions you'll ever make

4:38

, you'll never recover .

4:40

You'll never financially recover from this .

4:44

I do want to give uh a

4:46

quick uh update

4:49

on like today's topic and

4:51

everything as well , because like today oh

4:54

, that concludes uh housekeeping

4:56

over um , yeah , uh

4:59

. So today we're we're doing kind

5:01

of a fun one . It's a little bit more laid back . We're

5:03

doing a couple reddit mysteries

5:05

Because people seem to enjoy us Just

5:08

finding weird shit on reddit .

5:12

We got something in the works For next week

5:14

.

5:14

So we're doing a little easy . Doing

5:17

a little easier . Next week is going to be very

5:20

cool .

5:21

I hope you all you probably realize that Jason's not

5:23

here . He's dead . Oh yeah , we liquidated .

5:24

Very cool , oh you probably realize that Jason's not here . He's

5:26

dead . Oh yeah , we

5:29

liquidated that asset of Deludy .

5:32

The amount of money we made , and then he'll

5:34

die again at some point , I'm sure .

5:36

It all depends on how much money's in the Patreon account

5:38

.

5:38

Yeah , start a

5:40

Save Jason fund , resurrect

5:42

Jason fund .

5:44

Honestly go fund me , but go save

5:46

me . We didn't get much for selling him

5:48

. Yeah , no , you got store credit

5:50

. I did . I

5:53

took the store credit instead of the cash

5:55

.

5:56

So yeah , but

5:58

yeah , just keep your eyes open for next week . Very

6:00

excited for next week . It's gonna be a

6:02

doozy , so make sure . If you're a $10 patron

6:04

, I would recommend doing

6:07

what you can to get in here . I

6:09

do believe we are recording Wednesday

6:12

, though , if I remember correctly

6:14

. Yeah

6:17

, we need to let our socials person know that , yes , I'm pretty sure we're recording Wednesday

6:19

. So if you're listening to this , you've got two days

6:22

to figure your shit out .

6:25

Really like a day and a half .

6:26

Yeah , so figure that out .

6:28

Yeah , you've got a little bit of time

6:30

it might change back .

6:31

We'll see . We'll

6:33

fucking see .

6:33

I don't know we're making an announcement

6:35

about a thing that may or may not happen . Yeah

6:38

so , but just be on the lookout

6:40

for next week's episode Show up Tuesday and Wednesday , just to be safe

6:42

.

6:43

Even if no one's in here , just kind of hang out anyway You'll

6:45

never know .

6:46

Yeah , if you're the Discord , we'll tag you , we'll call you

6:48

names and stuff .

6:50

Yeah , it'll be super fun . Slurs , slurs

6:53

, yeah , yeah . So we're covering

6:55

some Reddit stories today . I'm very excited about

6:57

them . I

7:02

don't know about you guys , but I discovered mine quite a while ago and , uh , I

7:04

dig it , it's , it's , it's pretty weird

7:07

and creepy-ish kind of , and I'm excited

7:09

, so that's neat , thank you

7:11

, thank

7:13

you for that . Um , do

7:16

you guys want me to go ?

7:17

first yeah sure we should . We should have probably

7:19

established that , but that's all right spot

7:22

annuity is diluted also

7:24

it's storming like a mother truck

7:26

outside , so if I just disappear

7:28

, well , yeah , we had

7:30

that this morning .

7:32

I really hope that's air conditioning , because that

7:34

black drape behind you is moving a

7:37

little bit .

7:38

No , that's the serial killer that hangs out in my bushes

7:40

. Oh , but okay yeah

7:42

he's just waiting for me to let my guard down . Yeah

7:44

, but you can't when you're on camera , so yeah

7:47

, exactly .

7:48

Yeah , don't worry , I'll let you know if he

7:50

comes up behind you , and the best part is we're

7:52

on a bit of a delay , so he'll

7:54

beat me to you dead by the time you

7:57

say that , but I appreciate the

7:59

effort . Um

8:01

, yeah , I'll . I'll start us off here

8:03

. So what I'm talking about today is

8:05

we're getting a little nautical , oh , no

8:08

nautical , and we're getting to cryptid territory

8:10

a smidge , oh well , I have been missing

8:12

our cryptid corner . I'm not gonna lie yeah

8:15

, I think now that we kind of took

8:17

it , you know , a step back from it , got

8:20

a little bit of a rejuvenation , or you

8:22

know what I mean . Maybe we'll pencil some

8:24

of that in sometime in the future .

8:25

Maybe that'll just be normal episodes .

8:27

Yeah , who's to say ?

8:29

Be on the lookout for our sixth parter on Bigfoot

8:31

and Bitch .

8:32

Fat Bitch .

8:33

Fat yeah .

8:34

And Bigfoot's sister Bitch Fat .

8:37

So we all know about the

8:39

bloop yeah

8:41

.

8:42

We did have we talked about it Like the noise in

8:44

the ocean ?

8:48

yeah , we did . Have we talked about it like the noise in

8:50

the ocean , exactly , tldr . Back in like the 90s , um , the noaa

8:52

heard , uh , this like super high pitched , like noise

8:55

that . Uh , they could not explain

8:57

what it was coming from , but they

8:59

were under the impression that it was from

9:01

a living being . Judging by a

9:03

whale yeah , judging by the distance

9:06

of the

9:08

distance of the of

9:11

the distance of the sound from the

9:13

microphone machinery that they're using . Uh

9:15

, they also were able to kind of theorize

9:18

that whatever made this sound is fucking

9:20

huge , um , gigantic

9:23

, so a little bit of a mystery . We talked about it in a real , real , early . Um , gigantic , so a little bit

9:25

of a mystery . We talked about it in a real , real

9:28

, early uh video . Um

9:30

, their episode with um

9:32

the singer from dead awake so I believe

9:34

he was on that one . Uh , but go check

9:36

that guy out . And , um , yeah

9:39

, so TLDR . It

9:41

turns out that that blue more than likely was just

9:43

some faulty equipment or it was

9:45

also theorized that it was , uh , glacial ice

9:47

kind of scraping against the bottom

9:50

of the ocean . Those are the main

9:52

theories . On

9:54

4chan , we had

9:56

and the the 4chan post is gone . You can find it on

9:59

reddit . Someone uploaded it to reddit . That's why this is technically

10:01

reddit story for me . Um , but on

10:03

4chan , someone posted on there about the bloop and they're like

10:05

isn't that crazy ? Some random guy

10:07

and this was on , uh , may

10:10

25th of 2020 random

10:13

, uh anon posts and

10:15

everyone's like , oh , the , the bloop

10:17

, that must been just like a malfunction . And he's like , oh

10:19

, nah , that's

10:21

the black carpet . And

10:24

, uh , he's like it's a bit of an urban

10:26

legend amongst deep sea divers like

10:28

me and everyone's

10:30

just like and the discord was literally

10:32

talking about this like today or yesterday , damn

10:35

it , who's ?

10:36

who's spying on me ?

10:39

damn you , you

10:41

spoiled it well

10:44

, no one check out the discord until this episode

10:46

comes out , which channel

10:48

.

10:48

I need to read this but anyway

10:50

.

10:50

so um the

10:53

the poster basically goes

10:55

on to say that he doesn't remember all of the details

10:57

from all the stories at the moment , but he is

11:00

going to talk to his buddy to get us some details

11:02

on a whole bunch of stories

11:04

that other divers have of

11:06

this black carpet thing . Essentially

11:10

, what he does remember

11:12

is that it is some sort of colony

11:14

organism like a giant moving coral

11:17

. It's a giant black carpet

11:19

of macro by macro biotic

11:21

cells that crawls over the ocean floor

11:23

, sifting through nutrients with millions of tiny

11:25

feelers . Nobody has ever gotten a

11:27

good estimate of the size , other than it's

11:29

big and apparently makes a noise similar

11:32

to this bloop . One guy apparently

11:34

saw it swimming , slash , riding the currents

11:36

as well . So it does more than just crawl

11:38

, uh , on the ocean floor and

11:41

, uh , everyone in that 4chan

11:44

post was basically just like this

11:47

sounds like a giant fucking jellyfish .

11:48

that's terrifying and he's like yep

11:52

pretty much it's like mushrooms

11:54

how they make like a network of interconnected

11:56

shit underneath the soil , except this

11:58

is on top of the water , yeah

12:00

, and I'm not sure which is worse . I

12:02

would say , at least if it's underground

12:05

, you can't see it wiggling around worse

12:07

I don't know man , I hate

12:09

the water as is , so like yeah yeah

12:12

, water is scarier , but the fact that

12:14

the mushrooms are concealed makes

12:17

it scarier I'll eat a .

12:19

I'll eat a fucking mushroom , though oh

12:22

, I love me a mushroom I'll punch a mushroom

12:24

right in its face .

12:25

So then the guy goes on . He's like , all right , let me see

12:28

if I can find some stories about this uh , the black carpet

12:30

and I can tell you guys

12:32

all about him . So he leaves for

12:34

a little bit and he comes back and he's like all right , talk

12:37

to my buddy , I got a couple stories

12:39

about this thing . And he goes on

12:41

to mention that it's a story that his buddy heard

12:43

from some finnish guy with a very strong

12:45

accent . Then it's not real . Yeah

12:48

, he does say , and I'll give him the credit . He's like

12:50

, take a bunch of this with a grain of salt , because a lot of these

12:52

are just a bunch of , he said she says finland

12:55

ain't real , it's all made up , agreed

12:57

, um , but

13:00

uh , he basically , before he

13:02

even mentions this , he mentions how some of the claims

13:04

that he's heard is . He

13:07

heard a retired sea

13:09

diver talk about how he's claimed to see it Basically

13:12

take an entire decomposing

13:15

sperm whale and consume

13:17

it and , like , pull it down into the depths , and

13:20

that I did not like . I did not like

13:22

the mental image .

13:23

This is worse than mushroom and that I did not like .

13:25

I did not like the mental image . This is worse than mushroom . Yeah , I did not

13:27

like the mental image of something grabbing a whale and sucking

13:29

it down into the depths . No

13:32

, thank you . So anyway . Finnish man , strong accent

13:34

, Said

13:38

he was doing a deep dive repair of some cables underwater . He assumed that they were fiber

13:40

optic , but it doesn't really matter too much . He

13:43

initially thought he was in the wrong spot because he couldn't find the cables

13:45

anywhere . He starts searching and eventually finds

13:47

one end , but just one . It's

13:50

sheared clean through . He gets

13:52

his dive buddy to stay with that end while

13:54

he goes and looks for the other end . He's

13:58

swimming in a straight line in the direction of the line . In his estimation he swam

14:00

about half a mile before he found the other end of the line

14:03

. He stressed that the entire

14:05

half-mile section of

14:08

this line was completely gone . It

14:10

was a very big deal because everyone thought it was the Russians

14:13

, but

14:16

this guy was sure that it was the carpet thing that did it , because he apparently

14:18

heard that bloop noise that everyone thinks is the bloop and not you

14:20

know this giant thing

14:23

, cluster of thing

14:25

in the ocean . The

14:28

next story that he gets from us is that I

14:30

heard it from my buddy , heard it from a guy , heard it from another guy

14:32

so take this with a very heavy grain of salt but

14:35

he said that the guy

14:37

was doing this deep diving

14:39

in a location . He didn't

14:41

want to give specifics about it , but just stated

14:43

that it was a very , very deep part of the ocean . Uh

14:46

, he starts hearing this like odd noise that

14:48

people uh associate with the

14:51

bloop or now the carpet . Uh

14:53

, the way that it was described was this

14:55

ultra low pitch , sort of like a creepy distorted

14:57

whale song . Uh , as he gets

14:59

closer , he hears the almost static crackling

15:02

noise as well . The

15:05

way he hears the almost static crackling noise as well , the way

15:08

he described it , it was like a million prawns getting cracked open

15:10

at once . Uh , if that makes , uh , that kind of sound

15:12

, it kind of I don't like that because that

15:14

like bone snapping

15:16

yeah , like the shell of a crab or something . Um

15:19

, he mentions that as

15:21

he got close to the bottom , the noise , noise kept getting louder and

15:23

louder and it was at the point that

15:26

he was thinking that he was hearing some sort

15:28

of like sonar from a submarine . That's

15:30

how intense it was getting for him . Um

15:32

, when he gets to the bottom , he shines a light around

15:35

trying to find whatever he's looking for . Um

15:37

, and what he was finding

15:39

was that the seafloor had literally

15:42

come to life and just started crawling right past

15:44

him . Um , was that the seafloor

15:46

had literally come to life and just started crawling right past him . Apparently , this is one of the better descriptions

15:48

of this thing , that it's just this giant thing

15:51

that sits on the seafloor and just kind of crawls

15:53

away . Apparently

15:56

, the guy swam back up to the surface

15:59

to get more equipment , to try to get

16:01

samples or record this thing . It took

16:03

him a couple hours to get back to the position and

16:06

when he got back down

16:08

there , the thing was just gone completely . So

16:12

, pretty

16:14

creepy . So far right oh

16:16

.

16:17

I'm so spooked , I know Right

16:19

, I know Right , it's pretty creepy , so

16:21

spooked .

16:22

Yeah , anyway , so there's another one here

16:24

. I don't think I remember

16:26

reading this one . Let's see , uh , so

16:28

we got another one here . This one is like more of like a story

16:30

, I believe . Um , apparently

16:33

, this one is like the urban

16:35

legend that's been around like the diving community

16:37

. This is like the main one . I feel like

16:39

these people probably just like saw the trash island

16:41

that's floating out in the pac they

16:44

might've , but there is , um , I

16:46

did just see an uh an article where

16:48

there is another like a

16:51

colony of like these microorganisms that are

16:53

the size of the country of Greece

16:55

, and it's just we're roaming

16:57

around in the ocean somewhere . It's

16:59

just a bunch of like , but

17:01

you got like like little like yeah

17:04

, basically just like attached to each other , just

17:06

drifting around . So very well

17:09

, just could be that um , but

17:11

anyway , so

17:13

the ocean's gross .

17:15

I fucking hate the ocean .

17:16

Yeah , I'm not a fan uh anyway .

17:18

So uh , this one takes place

17:20

in a submarine , so the

17:22

submarine is doing some uh patrolling

17:24

for uh , you know , like chinese

17:26

or russian or north korean uh submarines

17:29

. The guys like the story is kind

17:31

of inconsistent , that the

17:33

enemy's submarine changes every time . I hear this story

17:35

so it's meh .

17:37

But he says that for whatever reason , with human

17:39

rights violations exactly .

17:41

You know one of those commies . Um

17:43

, so he says for whatever reason

17:45

, they're not using active sonar because they want to avoid detection

17:47

. Um , they're just floating uh

17:50

quote unquote a couple hundred meters off of the

17:52

sea floor . They're just sitting there chilling

17:55

and listening , with their sensors trying to detect enemy

17:57

submarines . When they start hearing the , the

17:59

boop noise their sensors can't make anything

18:01

of , and it's getting louder and louder

18:04

at a more alarming rate . It

18:06

starts out as something only

18:08

the sensors can hear , but after a while the crew

18:10

inside the sub can start to hear it themselves

18:12

. The captain

18:14

thinks that the only explanation is that there's

18:17

some new sonar jamming technology

18:19

or something that's fucking with them . And

18:23

then Anon goes on to say this is the part of

18:25

the story that stays the most consistent , probably

18:28

because it's the most memorable . So a

18:30

sonar operator shouts out new sonar

18:32

contact and then the captain

18:35

says what's our depth ? I'm sorry

18:37

. The crew mate says what's our depth ? The

18:39

captain replies 500 meters . The

18:42

sonar operator replies but

18:45

, sir , the sonar says the seafloor is 10 meters

18:47

below us . The captain

18:49

says that's nonsense and he walks over to the sonar

18:51

station and he checks the readings , then walks over to the

18:53

helmsman and checks the depth . He

18:56

checks the nautical charts for where they are , and somehow , apparently

18:58

, the ocean has gotten about 200 meters

19:01

more shallow . So

19:04

the captain then orders another ping from

19:06

the sonar to try to shallow , oh yeah

19:08

it gets better . Again it's better

19:10

. So the captain then orders another ping for the sonar

19:12

to try to locate the source of the noise . Sonar

19:14

operator speaks , speaks up again . He

19:16

says , sir , the ocean is getting deeper

19:18

again . Captain asks him to repeat

19:20

himself . He says the ocean floor is

19:23

once again at expected depth , sir . Captain

19:26

takes a look for himself and sure enough , there's

19:29

no longer them being 10 meters above the ocean floor . There's

19:31

also a very , very large dot

19:34

on the screen behind the submarine . Captain

19:36

asks what the large contact is . Sonar

19:39

operator says it's an equipment malfunction

19:41

. The captain then pings again , just

19:43

out of curiosity , and the equipment

19:46

malfunction that they stated it being has maintained its shape and is continuing to move away , again just out of curiosity . And the equipment malfunction that

19:48

they stated it being has maintained its shape and is continuing to move

19:50

away from the submarine . Apparently it's

19:52

taking the strange noise with it . So

19:55

apparently the carpet

19:57

is that fucking huge where

20:00

. That's what she said where

20:02

it basically . It basically

20:04

takes

20:11

up like a 200 meter depth is

20:14

what I'm understanding .

20:17

That's a deep carpet .

20:18

This is a big carpet . This ain't your Persian carpet

20:20

. You know what I mean .

20:23

I don't know what you mean .

20:25

This ain't a throw carpet . Is it Berber ? Berber carpet ? I don't know what you

20:27

mean .

20:27

This ain't a throw carpet my boy . So Is it Berber ? It

20:29

might be , Is it fucking Berber carpet ?

20:32

It's a bit of shag . It's a shag carpet , Anyway

20:35

. So people keep going

20:37

on in this Shag , this carpet . I'm

20:40

going to fuck this carpet . People

20:42

keep going on about this

20:44

thing and someone says it

20:46

sounds kind of similar to a jellyfish

20:48

, which is an actual colony

20:50

and is an actual colony

20:52

of microorganisms . He said this

20:55

sounds like it could possibly be related

20:58

to the Portuguese man o' war , which , if

21:00

you haven't seen what those things look like , it's fucking

21:02

terrifying . It's like a fucking six-foot jellyfish

21:05

.

21:06

It's so killer , it's gonna be a , a man or war . Are

21:10

you assuming it's gender ?

21:12

Man or war , who knows ? But

21:15

that that I crossed

21:17

the line at jellyfish

21:19

getting that fucking big . That's terrifying

21:21

. If the jellyfish get that big , what the fuck

21:24

else is that big out there that we don't see

21:26

? I don't know .

21:29

Maybe the black carpet . Let's send ocean

21:31

gate to go investigate they're doing it again

21:33

they already are .

21:34

I know I saw that , so anyway

21:38

so people are like is this , so people

21:40

so ?

21:42

people I'll

21:44

do it again . So

21:47

people are like so this must be

21:49

like a giant jellyfish . Then , right , and the guy's

21:51

like well , the way I've heard

21:53

it described , it shares more similarities with a starfish

21:56

or sea anemone than a jellyfish . He

21:58

said that he talked with a marine biologist guy who

22:00

said he'd seen it , um , that

22:03

it had some interesting . He's seen it and had some interesting

22:05

thoughts on it as well . He said

22:07

that he said some things here that I don't fully

22:09

understand , so we're going to go through this together . His

22:12

idea is that it's some sort of

22:14

holdover slash descendant from the

22:16

very first invertebrate forms of

22:18

life on earth . He did a whole long

22:20

talk about how coral is one of the oldest forms

22:22

of life on the planet and the reason why the

22:24

ocean and the reason

22:26

why the ocean is the only place

22:28

teeming with large invertebrate creatures is

22:31

because that's where all life first started . In

22:33

his mind , jellyfish and all our sea

22:35

invertebrates probably evolved from this thing , rather

22:37

than vice versa . This giant carpet

22:40

or whatever would have been one of those very

22:42

first life forms to ever exist on Earth , technically

22:44

making them our ancient

22:46

ancestors . And

22:50

this is the bit that I don't really understand

22:53

. Um , so , uh , someone goes on to say hey , this

22:55

is the closest thing I could find to

22:57

what they're describing . And

22:59

they found footage . It's an image

23:01

, and it says recent ROV

23:03

expeditions have uncovered new footage

23:05

of an array of bizarre siphonophores

23:09

Siphonophores

23:11

and it kind of just looks like a

23:13

like a feather , like a blue feather

23:15

duster .

23:16

Yeah , lying on the ocean floor , yeah .

23:18

And the guy's like , yeah , that's actually . That

23:21

looks like what I picture in my brain when I think

23:23

of the black carpet , and I

23:26

don't see that , but

23:29

I guess that's kind of this is our best description . Again , it just looks like

23:31

a feather duster . Um , it's

23:33

s-i-p-h-o-n-o-p-h-o-r-e-s

23:37

syncyphonophores

23:39

. I don't know what that is , but , um

23:43

, that , that's pretty much

23:45

it . That's , that's our fucking , that's

23:47

our our black carpet's our , our black carpet . This thing is

23:49

apparently also referenced in other crypto

23:52

books as well . Um , there is a crypto

23:54

book , um , that someone found on their shelf

23:56

from the eighties , uh , and it references

23:58

something called the hide , which apparently

24:00

is this like flat , uh

24:03

, fish thing with eyes along the

24:05

rim . There's a size of a large cow

24:07

, um

24:09

, and people are like , oh , this might be that just a bigger version

24:11

of it . Who the fuck knows ? But that's

24:14

black carpet . What do ?

24:15

you think Big ol' underwater

24:18

I think

24:20

, when we do find this thing , I

24:22

want a DeFrank true

24:24

facts video True facts about

24:26

the black carpet .

24:27

The black carpet , it's carpet oh

24:30

really big boy , it's

24:32

a carpet I

24:34

would love that .

24:35

Uh , it's bound to happen eventually . He just did one of the exploding

24:37

plants . So here we

24:40

are . But the ocean already

24:42

freaks me out , and I think what freaks

24:44

me out even more is the thought of things

24:46

that big Like they say , this thing

24:48

is a thousand feet long that

24:52

I can't imagine something that fucking big

24:54

.

24:54

This is my whole thing with like these , like oversized

24:57

, like cryptid types how

25:00

the fuck they hiding so good ?

25:02

Well , I mean , the water is a lot of water .

25:04

There's a lot of there's . Yeah , there's like a thousand feet in the ocean

25:06

is really not that much . I mean the water's a lot of water .

25:07

There's a lot of unexplored water . A thousand feet in the ocean is really not that much

25:09

.

25:11

I mean that's the size of a decent-sized

25:13

ship .

25:14

Right , right , well , and keep

25:16

in mind as well , this thing apparently just

25:18

rumbles around on the ocean floor . We

25:21

don't go to the ocean floor that often , as

25:23

we shouldn't . Yeah , as we should stay the fuck

25:25

away .

25:27

There's no need to go down there .

25:28

We're not building civilizations down there there's a

25:30

couple other . We've seen Bioshock I'm

25:33

playing that right now . There's a couple other stories

25:36

on here of this thing like grabbing

25:38

people with these like tentacle things

25:40

that like come off of it and like it zaps

25:42

them like what a jellyfish does . That's why everyone equated

25:44

it to the jellyfish . Um , but

25:47

like , apparently some of these tendrils are like 20 feet long

25:49

maybe this is how we got stories

25:52

of the kraken . It's yeah , maybe

25:54

. Yeah , because it's talking about a guy was

25:56

just like floating on the water and like he was just

25:58

like he's like snorkeling

26:00

and he sees like this tendril thing come up and he's

26:02

like what the fuck is that ? He looks up at

26:04

his buddy and he like grabs him and he just and

26:07

then just passes out . Yeah

26:09

, and his buddy's just like what the fuck

26:11

I got tased while

26:13

swimming so

26:16

this thing's fucking creepy . I just

26:18

don't like big things in the water . I don't like the water at all

26:20

. Stay far away from the water . Everyone listening ? Stay

26:22

away from the water . Get away from the beach . There's

26:24

sharks in there . They're gonna eat your

26:26

face off .

26:27

There's literally no reason for us to be in

26:29

the water I laid away ago last

26:32

week for a really long time just

26:35

like thinking about being on a ship

26:37

and I've been on a ship before . But then I thought

26:39

about it some more and I was like why did I do that ?

26:41

that was a terrible idea I

26:43

, I can't even fathom like

26:45

wanting to go on a cruise . That's .

26:47

Lori's like oh , I wouldn't mind going on a cruise again . I'm

26:50

like you'll have to kill me and

26:52

drag my corpse onto that ship in

26:54

order for me to be on that thing . I'm never

26:56

getting on a cruise ship .

26:57

How many people fall off of cruise ships ? Not

27:00

only that , I don't know .

27:02

Yeah people do fall , they get drunk and then they

27:04

hang off the balcony in their room and then fall off

27:06

.

27:07

Not only that , but ever since I heard about fucking Poopgate

27:10

or whatever , that one ship was

27:12

Poopgate . There's a

27:14

Carnival

27:16

Cruise Line that broke down in 2012

27:19

. It had to , like stay offshore

27:22

and they like ran out of room for everybody's shit

27:24

, right , and there's just shit

27:26

, just like pooling up in the in

27:28

, like the hallways , and they had like baggies of their poop

27:31

hanging out of their door and uh

27:33

, yeah , no , no

27:35

, thank you no shit , shit

27:38

, fucking paradise over there

27:40

, shit paradise . Well , that's the black carpet

27:42

. I highly suggest looking more into it because it's super fun

27:44

. Uh , and I want to bring a cryptid into

27:46

the mix , because we haven't done that in a while who's

27:48

next who ?

27:49

is , I can go next , I suppose

27:52

. Okay , um , so I've

27:55

actually been wanting to talk about this one for

27:57

a while , but I didn't . I

28:00

guess these episodes are like the

28:02

best to to do this with

28:04

. But , um , did you find

28:06

it on Reddit ?

28:08

No , 4chan Okay

28:11

.

28:11

So you know . Reddit adjacent , but

28:16

yeah , so this is . I don't know , you guys probably maybe heard this

28:18

, but it's just what I would

28:20

call Ori Chef . I

28:23

don't know O-R-I-E Chef

28:25

, I'm not sure if you guys have heard about this one

28:27

, but essentially

28:30

it's your classic 4chan

28:32

X forum post that

28:34

basically led to a , which is paranormal

28:37

, right , I Fuck

28:39

.

28:39

I can't remember .

28:41

Yeah , I think you might be right , but it's weird

28:43

because this isn't really what I would call a paranormal

28:45

thing . But it's

28:48

weird because this isn't really what I would

28:50

call a paranormal thing . Anyways , this post leads to a weird account on Facebook , to

28:52

a person that was named Ori Chef

28:54

. So basically

28:57

, op stated

28:59

that they were reading an article somewhere

29:01

on Facebook and they

29:04

noticed this person was commenting on the post

29:06

, just saying really outlandishly

29:08

weird shit , which I guess isn't really

29:10

like super uncommon for

29:12

Facebook , but it like piqued

29:15

their interest . So they said one of the

29:17

comments was like I want to be cremated

29:19

before my husband , and

29:21

basically it was going on and on

29:23

about like just random shit , like just

29:25

saying weird things . It was really broken English . English

29:28

, by the way , uh , it was like

29:30

a mixture between english and um

29:32

, what I assume is what

29:34

I'm not actually familiar with , what the

29:37

language in the philippines is , but uh

29:39

, whatever that is sort of spanish why

29:44

would it be spanish ?

29:46

I don't know .

29:50

I don't even know how to move past that um no

29:55

, it's not even South . America bro , the

29:57

Philippines is in Asia bro oh

30:02

, my fucking god , I should have just looked up

30:04

what fucking the language is

30:06

, but it's

30:09

tagalog . I forgot . I knew that I

30:11

couldn't think of it anyways god

30:13

damn jesus christ I

30:16

guess keep that in .

30:17

I don't know , I don't know where shit is on a

30:19

map you should know

30:21

where the fucking philippines is , at least

30:23

like what .

30:24

Why is that one at ?

30:26

least I don't know people say that about like mexico and canada . What do ? You

30:28

one , at least I don't know people say that about , like mexico and canada

30:30

. What do you mean ? At least I don't know

30:32

.

30:32

I I'm not sure what I was thinking um

30:34

anyways . So this poster

30:37

was just being weird on a fucking uh

30:39

.

30:40

On another post we just made fun of mike

30:42

. But the third sentence in the light

30:44

in the wikipedia article for languages

30:46

of the Philippines is a number of Spanish-influenced

30:49

Creole varieties yes .

30:54

Our one Filipino listener is just like

30:56

no , no , no , he's right .

31:00

Hell yeah brother , I did that on purpose

31:02

, I know my shit .

31:03

See , the official languages are Filipino and English .

31:08

Oh , english you say oh .

31:10

Anyways , alright , so that's why the broken

31:12

. Okay , anyways , let's move past this

31:15

. So yeah , basically

31:17

just somebody with some broken-ass

31:19

English being fucking weird on another person's

31:21

post , and this made OP a little curious

31:24

. They were like , huh , maybe I should just click on

31:26

this person and see who the on this person and see , like

31:28

, who the fuck this person is . So

31:31

that's exactly what they do . They go to their

31:33

profile and they realize that

31:35

something is fucking

31:38

off . Um , they notice

31:40

that every single friend of this person

31:42

is just

31:44

a clone of the

31:47

same account . What

31:50

I want you to do , if you haven't , is I

31:52

want you to go to Facebook . It's going to take you

31:54

five seconds . I want you to type in OriChef

31:57

, that's O-R-I-E Chef

31:59

. When you do this , if

32:01

you search this in

32:04

Facebook , there

32:07

are so many

32:09

fucking accounts

32:11

that pop up named

32:14

ori chef , and I'm talking . I'm

32:16

talking hundreds , maybe

32:19

even thousands of accounts with

32:21

the same . There's , like these two , like

32:23

three to four images that they use right

32:26

, it's fucking wild . So

32:28

things have

32:30

changed since this first started

32:32

um , which I believe this like happened

32:34

in 2018 was when it started to garner

32:37

a lot of like interest , uh , on online

32:39

, um , but basically

32:41

, when it started um , the

32:44

original account , which at this point I'm

32:46

not sure which

32:48

one is the original , um , when I was

32:50

like looking for it . But basically everything

32:52

you'll see on these accounts are like weird , just

32:55

videos of I don't know

32:57

like animal

33:00

gore and like there'll

33:03

be pictures of like her and

33:05

her family , but like there'll be really

33:07

weird pictures , like she'll edit them in a certain

33:09

way that makes them . Yeah , they'll be distorted

33:11

and like um , there was like a like

33:13

one of them was like a loading bar that said like

33:15

dead on it and

33:18

like just like weird stuff like that , like there's really

33:20

no rhyme or reason to what

33:22

they're like . All the all the accounts

33:24

were posting . There's no rhyme or reason to what they

33:26

were posting and they were

33:28

all friends with each other and

33:31

basically every account

33:33

would have like a handful of other people who were

33:35

friends with them that would like comment on them like nothing

33:37

was wrong . So

33:39

that was really bizarre . What's

33:41

up ? sounds like bots it

33:44

kind of seems that way .

33:45

But we've

33:48

established this already .

33:51

Each of these accounts had a weird bio that said

33:53

something different .

33:55

They were all slightly different .

33:56

Bio .

33:58

Did you know that Spanish was the official language of the

34:00

Philippines ?

34:02

for three centuries Until 1863

34:05

.

34:06

Sometimes we accidentally fail upwards

34:09

you know ?

34:10

Did you know ? They also invented the Tootsie Roll .

34:12

It's weird how that works out . I'm

34:15

happy this turned out for me .

34:18

I was gonna leave it in when we thought Mike was the idiot

34:20

, but now I think .

34:20

I'm just gonna edit it out .

34:22

Save me from the embarrassment .

34:26

So yeah , Anyways

34:29

, moving on yeah , a lot of these profiles had

34:31

really weird shit going on in them . Like

34:33

I said , you'd find like this animal gore and like

34:35

there's actually like a few that were like alluding

34:38

to her , like killing her children

34:40

and just all this weird cryptic

34:42

stuff that made no sense at all

34:44

, like at all . So

34:46

the original poster of the 4chan

34:49

post actually messaged

34:52

them like what I assume is the original

34:54

account or whatever , and

34:56

basically talked

34:59

to them and they were like yo , what is going on

35:01

here ? Like why do you have so many accounts ? And all they said

35:03

was Facebook games . Yeah

35:05

, so they claim

35:07

that they were making all these accounts just purely for

35:10

Facebook games . Facebook

35:12

games , those weren't around that much

35:14

in 2018 . I don't think . Yeah

35:17

, I mean , clearly , it's not a great answer

35:20

, right ? So her

35:22

posts are not great either . Like I

35:24

said , lots of like normal

35:26

stuff sandwiched between not normal

35:29

stuff , which is just it's just

35:31

looking back

35:33

at some of the posts that people were finding like back

35:35

in the day , it just it's really like

35:38

uneasy and it's weird to think that 2018

35:40

was six years ago . Um , like

35:42

now that I'm thinking about it in my head , but , like you

35:44

know , shit was much different six years

35:46

ago . But either way , um , some

35:49

weird of the like , weirder posts that we found

35:51

, uh were uh , like

35:54

, uh . So this one post actually actually like

35:56

started getting a lot of attention from the

35:58

internet . Um , she said something

36:00

along the lines of um

36:03

, hey , I want to talk about someone

36:05

named daphne . Um , my

36:07

father was friends with her and

36:09

this is what I remember about her from when I

36:11

was eight years old . And she says that

36:14

her dad went to her house and

36:16

she wanted to have surgery to

36:18

look like much prettier and

36:21

he said that that wasn't going to help . And then

36:23

, when he came back , uh , she said

36:25

that he , that or he said that

36:27

she was dead and that she killed

36:29

herself . And now she's haunting

36:31

my dreams and

36:34

it was really stupid . Like I

36:36

just don't . Like I I had to like basically

36:39

reword what she said because it was not readable

36:42

essentially . But , um , if

36:46

you look at some of her other posts , uh

36:48

, the story that she said is mostly bullshit

36:50

. Like you have to assume she would repost

36:52

a bunch of like creepypastas , but she would essentially

36:55

make them to seem like they were her stories

36:57

or they were about her . Um

36:59

, and stealing the thunder yeah

37:02

, I don't know , it was just . It's just really weird . Some

37:04

of the imagery you see , too , is really really just

37:06

really weird . And , um

37:08

, yeah , she was , uh , just kind

37:10

of , I think whoever this person was

37:12

, I think they just kind of started taking

37:14

this like all of a sudden , like garnered fame

37:16

, and they were just like kind of rolling with

37:18

it because , uh , they ended up going

37:20

um and being featured on dross , which

37:23

was a youtuber , uh , who I'm not super

37:25

familiar with . But then nexpo did a video

37:27

, um on it too , um

37:30

, and check that out , it's pretty good . And

37:32

, to be honest , I don't know what the fuck any of

37:34

this shit means . I don't know what's going on

37:36

here and there's really no rhyme

37:39

or reason to it . There's no like factual

37:41

, like this is what it was , this is who it is

37:43

. It's just fucking weird . And then

37:45

, and still to this day , facebook just

37:47

has a billion , fucking like

37:50

a billion different

37:52

versions of Ori Chef on there , and

37:54

it's really just bizarre to me .

37:56

Where does the chef portion come into play ?

37:58

No idea , no idea , I

38:00

have no idea , not cooking anything . Maybe she cooked someone

38:02

alive , I'm not sure . Oh , it's

38:05

just really bizarre . Though I thought it was weird , I

38:07

thought it was just a neat , a neat little like stupid little

38:09

rabbit hole that you can go into if you really felt

38:11

like it , you can go and click on every 1000

38:14

ori chefs every does every page

38:16

have its own individual like photos and shit

38:18

in it I mean , if you click into a lot

38:20

of them , yeah , there's like random posts but

38:22

like who knows , like who

38:25

the fuck knows who's who though you

38:27

know what I'm saying like and they're all , they're

38:29

all in , like , uh , the tag along

38:31

, it seems like , well , some are english , but it

38:34

like every I don't know . You

38:36

just click oh

38:38

well , I'm thinking of those peanut butter uh

38:40

cookies . Tag

38:44

a log , um , my bad

38:46

um . But yeah , no , every

38:48

, every fucking uh

38:50

profile isn't like fully fleshed out

38:52

, but a lot of them do have random shit . But

38:54

I also think that , because of the original

38:57

, like you know , people finding that there was just

38:59

like hundreds of them . I guarantee

39:01

like half of these are

39:03

like people that just like made their own , you know

39:05

. So I don't really know . I thought

39:07

it was weird . The pictures are weird . One

39:09

of the pictures is like really similar to Jeff the killer

39:12

, um , but

39:14

it's a picture that she uses a lot in

39:16

her actual shit . But yeah , it's just , it's

39:18

just a bizarre little little

39:21

thing . And this one's her with lettuce on her head

39:23

. Look at that , look at that , that's

39:25

not his head . Yeah , so , yeah , yeah , so yeah . You

39:27

can literally scroll forever like I'm

39:30

. I can just . There's just so many , there's

39:34

just so much stuff .

39:35

It's stupid and I hate it well

39:38

now with mood , with to the weather , yeah

39:40

, so my thing is not

39:43

a reddit mystery .

39:44

It's , but it is something I found on reddit

39:46

. It's a weird website

39:49

from the early 2000s which I think

39:51

we've established by now is like my favorite brand

39:53

of weird internet shit . So

39:56

this website is 8

39:58

march 2003.com

40:00

and it's not there anymore . But you can find

40:02

it on the wayback machine . And be careful

40:04

if you do look at it on the wayback machine

40:07

, because at some point in like the 2010s

40:09

it became a japanese porn site and

40:11

that is very much archived by the wayback machine

40:13

. So if you want that , you can go look at that too

40:16

but the original version . I need to know what

40:18

date , so I don't go to it yeah

40:20

, I want to avoid that date specifically

40:23

anything after 2005

40:25

, I believe , is , uh , japanese

40:27

porn , so do

40:29

with that what you will . Um ? So

40:32

this , this website , is like a really old

40:34

school website , and it's just a black background

40:36

with some red text on top of it and

40:38

it says global public announcement

40:41

. On this date , an astounding discovery

40:43

will be revealed to the world . On march

40:45

8 2003 , something extraordinary

40:47

will be posted on this site , something that will shock

40:50

you , something that could have global implications . Something extraordinary will be posted on this site , something that

40:52

will shock you , something that could have global implications , something that will make you want

40:54

to rethink your future .

40:55

My story .

40:57

I was only 10 .

41:00

Yeah .

41:00

I was 10 years old .

41:01

I'm not going to rethink everything this was going on and

41:03

your feeble little mind couldn't even comprehend

41:05

it oh no . So

41:12

I'm going to summarize the middle portion of this , because there's a very long

41:14

write-up of what happens to this individual on this website , but it starts

41:16

off with my story . Due to reasons you

41:18

will come to understand as you read on , I cannot

41:20

reveal my identity at this time . Some

41:22

months ago , while trekking through a mountain range on

41:24

an amateur photo shoot during my holidays , my

41:27

attention was taken by a glint of light under

41:29

a shrub . I discovered it was the sun's

41:31

reflection off of a piece of broken glass

41:33

, and there's a picture included of

41:35

this piece of broken glass by

41:38

the curved , polished surface on one

41:40

side . I thought it might have just been from

41:42

some type of magnifying glass . I rummaged

41:44

around under the shrub wondering if someone had dropped

41:46

their binoculars , but instead , to my surprise

41:48

, I found a badly damaged camera lens . I

41:51

looked at the piece of glass in my hand it

41:53

was from a fragment from a shattered

41:55

lens . Beyond the shrub was a rocky

41:57

terrain that led off of a sheer cliff . I

41:59

spotted some other parts of the lens scattered about

42:01

the area . Then I found the main body of the camera

42:04

. It was an Olympus OM40 SLR

42:06

, which was in production during the early 80s

42:08

. The entire camera was smashed and covered

42:11

in a silvery , soot-like powder , as if

42:13

it had been thrown under a fire . Yet on

42:15

closer inspection , there was some oxidization

42:19

on parts of the exposed metal

42:21

casing . It had obviously been

42:23

there for quite some time . And then there's

42:25

a picture of the camera itself and then

42:27

a picture of the back of the camera . My

42:29

first thought was that someone must have dropped the camera . Of the back of the camera , my first thought was that someone must have dropped it

42:32

off , the dropped the camera from

42:34

the top of the cliff , causing it to shatter on the

42:36

rocks below , and that there must have been a raging

42:38

fire through the valley at some stage . Taking

42:40

a closer look at my surroundings , there were no signs

42:42

of recent fires . Had someone tried to destroy

42:44

the camera by burning it ? When I sniffed

42:46

the soot , it had had a pungent

42:49

, explosive like smell to it . I turned

42:51

it over and wiped the film cartridge display

42:53

window . The hair on the back of my

42:55

neck stood on end . There was still film

42:57

in the camera and so the

42:59

rest of this kind of details this person

43:02

taking the film from the camera and

43:04

taking it back to their dark room

43:06

to develop it . And they develop

43:08

it , but then they don't tell you what's actually

43:11

on it and they explain that

43:13

they decide to start trying to

43:15

google to find more information about

43:17

the things that they see in the photos that are

43:19

in this film and basically

43:22

what they say is that as soon as

43:24

they start doing that , like government

43:27

operatives or something start tapping

43:29

their phone and like showing up at their house

43:32

and stalking them and stuff

43:34

. And so they

43:36

took the photos . Uh

43:38

, no , because they were Googling information

43:41

about what they saw on the photos , and

43:44

so they decide that they're

43:46

going to release the information that they find

43:48

and the photos themselves on 8th

43:50

of March 2003 , which

43:57

is what this entire website is about . The first page of this ends with I only use computers at internet

43:59

cafes . I do not remain in one city , state or country for any length of time

44:02

. I must keep on the move . I must not allow

44:04

them to stop me or trace my whereabouts . I

44:06

have set the date for the release in the future to

44:08

allow time to build publicity With

44:10

the world's full attention . These secret agencies are

44:12

privately run . Factions cannot deny or lie

44:14

to the public about what I will reveal . I

44:17

know there are some of you who will judge this as

44:19

some sort of fantastic publicity stunt , but

44:23

remember , things are not always as they seem

44:25

. Make no hasty assessment about this event

44:27

until you see the images and the photos . Reserve

44:29

your judgment .

44:36

Until then , when all will be revealed .

44:38

Revealed , then you can decide what is or

44:40

isn't . This can be a dick butt . Maybe is that what's gonna

44:42

happen . Um , so there are several updates

44:44

that are made to this website throughout

44:46

the coming months and we

44:48

get get some more photos of the

44:51

camera , and then on January

44:54

19th and December 8th , there's

44:57

a couple posts that , basically , are

44:59

just more explanation of how this person

45:01

is on the run from the authorities until

45:03

March 8th of 2003

45:06

itself , when they

45:08

post the long-awaited

45:11

update and , uh

45:14

, I closed the tab that had it in it no

45:17

, but basically basically

45:20

, they post a bunch of these photos and

45:23

um they

45:25

they start off the post with . You've waited

45:27

five months , you've discussed , you've speculated . There

45:29

were times when I thought this day would never come . Some

45:31

of you have doubted my story . Thank you to all who

45:33

supported me with positive and encouraging emails

45:35

. My story continues and so

45:37

there's a couple of photos , and there's photos that

45:40

are like taken out of the side of

45:42

a airplane , and

45:44

the descriptions are . The photo above is from a

45:46

heat damaged film of the burnt camera

45:48

I found while hiking through a mountain range last

45:50

year . The images are badly distorted . This photo

45:52

was clearly taken from the cockpit of a small plane

45:54

. In the distance you can see pylons

45:57

towering high above a forest floor in the valley

45:59

between the mountains . The next shot shows

46:01

some kind of gigantic ship sitting

46:04

inside a steel cradle on a

46:06

man-made plateau between two

46:08

mountains . Why the hell has a secret

46:10

faction built a super ship on a man-made

46:12

plateau in a mountain range high

46:14

above the sea level ? And this goes

46:16

on for pages and pages and

46:19

pages about how , apparently

46:21

, some sort of secret faction in the jungle is

46:23

building a new noah's

46:26

ark to basically

46:29

survive the coming flood , and

46:35

I don't know if they ever really detail why they came to that assumption , other

46:39

than it's a big ship and they just decided that

46:41

that must be what it's for . There is more

46:43

information about the faction , I

46:45

guess , and

46:48

this person makes a couple

46:50

more posts . They're mostly laced

46:52

with crazy shit like what

46:54

could cause this ? A meteor strike , a pole shift

46:57

, an earth crust displacement , the earth tilting on its

46:59

axis , an alien invasion , a massive solar

47:01

flare , the near passing of another celestial body

47:03

such as planet X , and that

47:05

just goes on for a while and then eventually

47:07

, in like 2005 , the

47:09

website just goes offline .

47:13

Oh cool . So , you

47:15

can go back . I don't remember any floods needing

47:18

a or happening .

47:19

So you can go back and read all these schizophrenic posts

47:21

, but at some point

47:24

this person does post a disclaimer and

47:26

say that they've gotten lots of contact

47:29

from people who are super concerned about this and

47:31

they're just like I made this up , I

47:33

100 made this up just to like , get

47:35

attention , and there is absolutely

47:37

no reason behind any of this , but

47:40

this is kind of it's very long and very

47:42

detailed and it's basically like one

47:45

of the early 2000s

47:47

original creepypastas that

47:49

isn't really talked

47:51

about anymore . I guess I don't know if it's creepypasta

47:53

, it's just like schizophrenic ramblings . But the

47:55

admittedly fake schizophrenic ramblings

47:57

I don't know . It's just a fun

48:00

little thing . There is an archive of

48:02

emails that this person received . Some

48:04

of them are like oh good job

48:06

, uh way to post something

48:08

weird on the internet , and some of them are like I

48:11

was so fucking worried , why did you ?

48:12

do this . Why would you ?

48:14

why would you do this ?

48:15

to me um this

48:17

is why . This is exactly why I did this , yeah

48:19

, but there's no mystery here . Um

48:22

, I did find another

48:24

thing that I'll go over just like real quick in two minutes

48:26

, because it's super simple , because , uh

48:29

, this one is definitely real and

48:31

this one is called cutoffmyfeetcom

48:34

. And this is another one that you have

48:36

to find on the wayback machine and it's

48:38

from like the same era , around

48:40

2002 to 2003 , and

48:42

it's a post on a website

48:44

from someone named paul morgan . And

48:47

paul morgan just

48:50

makes this website and the whole front page

48:52

is basically hey , you

48:55

pay me money and I

48:57

will livestream myself building

48:59

a guillotine and

49:01

chopping my feet off , and

49:03

if you pay me money , you can watch

49:06

me do that . And

49:08

the reason behind this is

49:11

, apparently this guy was semi-paralyzed

49:13

in a boating accident so that , like

49:15

below the knees , his

49:18

legs don't work , but they

49:20

won't give him any prosthetics or anything

49:22

to actually be able to use his legs because they

49:25

say that he doesn't need any

49:27

further surgery , like it's not an

49:29

active risk to his

49:31

health , but he really wants prosthetics

49:33

so that he can run again , and

49:35

so he's like I'm just gonna cut him off and then they'll have

49:37

to give me prosthetics that's

49:39

how that works , yeah and so like his

49:42

whole fucking plan is just like I'm gonna sell a bunch of tickets

49:44

to this live stream and people

49:46

are gonna pay me a bunch of money and then I

49:48

won't have any legs and they'll have to give me prosthetics

49:50

and I can use the money from the live stream to pay for

49:53

him . But I guess , like

49:55

thousands and thousands and thousands of people

49:57

came to the website but he only sold like 20

49:59

tickets to the live stream . So he

50:02

made one update to the site that

50:04

explained that he had , like , found a camera

50:06

crew and everything to help him with it , and he actually

50:09

posted a picture of him working on the guillotine

50:11

he was going to use . And then

50:13

there were no updates after that and the

50:15

website eventually went offline in like 2004

50:17

. And so we don't know what happened to this guy's

50:19

legs .

50:20

It's like the most classic like

50:23

2000s website

50:25

ever with just like clip

50:27

art of a guy chopping his feet off .

50:31

There's like a logo at the top . That's like an

50:33

amputated foot , frex

50:35

.

50:38

Welcome welcome , I love it .

50:40

I love that classic internet

50:43

look .

50:43

Adult lifelike love dolls . He's

50:46

got NaughtyToyscom sponsoring

50:48

him . That's nice , yeah , man .

50:50

At some point you could send donations to Frex Promotions

50:52

at PO Box 260 in Lumberton Mississippi

50:55

.

50:55

I wonder if that's still active .

50:57

For $20 , you can watch this man .

50:59

Can we send him something ? Can we send

51:01

him like $20 and

51:04

be like this is for your guillotine ? That's

51:08

weird and interesting

51:10

. How did you come across

51:12

this now again ?

51:13

I found both these things in the same reddit thread fantastic

51:17

I just googled like internet mysteries

51:19

, reddit something , and went through a few pages until I

51:21

found it .

51:22

That's funny , I think . I think I fucking looked

51:24

at the same one .

51:25

Uh , when I was looking at stuff , it

51:28

was mostly just a thread of people that were like I

51:30

remember this weird thing from the early 2000s

51:32

but I can't find it anymore , and then other

51:34

people being like I found it .

51:37

Here you go . It's right here . I

51:40

love that . Well , that's fucking weird .

51:42

I feel like I came ill-prepared

51:44

. You guys had some real weird shit . I just

51:46

had a jellyfish .

51:49

I don't know . You had the black carpet

51:51

.

51:53

It was just a no sleep post . Oh well , yeah , that was weird . That

51:56

one is more interesting than the no

51:58

sleep post on a dedicated website

52:00

.

52:00

I was really hoping that March 8th 2003

52:03

would come up . Oh , by the way , is it just what's

52:06

the domain for that ? 8march2003.com

52:09

. 8march2003

52:11

. Stay away from the porn . I

52:13

was kind of hoping like it

52:17

was going to be a long con joke and

52:19

he would have just posted like a fucking , you

52:22

would have Rick rolled people or whatever they're doing in 2003

52:25

.

52:25

That would have been wonderful Dancing baby .

52:27

Yeah , that would

52:29

have been wonderful , all this hype up just for dancing

52:31

baby lemon party .

52:33

Yeah , we don't want to go there Meat

52:35

spin oh .

52:38

I found .

52:40

I found the wrong one .

52:41

At least we're not live streaming it this

52:43

time .

52:46

I can't do anything about it now .

52:48

That's a loss to the archives .

52:50

They didn't save it when that one random titty

52:52

came up .

52:53

Yeah , well , that's what you get for going to laughinghorseorphusescom

52:57

. One random titty , a

53:00

lot of work for one titty . I

53:02

want to bring up one more , because

53:04

you didn't bring it up , doug , and we have

53:06

a couple minutes and I just want to kind of sploosh

53:09

it on in because we're never going to cover

53:11

it , the fucking codex

53:13

guy , I guess so I

53:16

didn't look too much into it , but there's really not that much information

53:19

on this bad boy anyway .

53:20

So all I have to say real quick about

53:22

8 March 2003 is that

53:24

it is now a website for a Wuhan

53:27

college .

53:28

Oh . Well that's

53:30

good . You can get your education in photography

53:33

Maybe .

53:34

So you're saying COVID is why they were building

53:36

the ark ? I get it .

53:40

Oh shit , it's full circle . It all makes sense

53:43

now , now so any hoodles ? So ?

53:45

the other thing that I was gonna cover , but I decided

53:48

to go with the giant jellyfish is called the

53:50

codex gigas , and

53:52

it's called the codex gigas

53:54

, or , in other terms , the devil's bible

53:56

, the devil's wiener . Uh

53:58

, reason being is that

54:01

this is the largest medieval

54:03

uh manuscript ever

54:06

found in the world . Um , it is 36

54:08

inches at length , um , and

54:11

it is . It's

54:15

a thick , fucking bitch . It's a thick , three

54:17

foot thick book . It's huge , um

54:19

, but um , you'll

54:22

find everything in here . It's like typical , like romanesque

54:25

um , monastic uh

54:27

, monastic , uh , like book productions

54:29

where , um , you got like the more like

54:31

papyrus pages

54:33

, um , and it's

54:36

got the rougher , like it's what

54:38

you think of when you think of old book . Um

54:41

, but this thing was created in the early

54:43

13th century in the benedictine

54:45

monastery of uh podlisius

54:49

in bohemia . I probably butchered

54:51

that uh , which is now a modern day

54:53

czech republic . But

54:55

what's interesting about

54:57

this thing is a lot of the pages are

55:00

basically unreadable from time

55:02

sun exposure , oils

55:06

from human skin , things

55:08

like that . There's one page , however

55:10

, when skimming through it

55:13

, is a page with . It is just , the

55:15

entire page is dedicated to a full-length

55:17

image of the devil , and

55:19

that is why this is called

55:22

the devil's Bible , because this page

55:25

is a very clear image

55:27

of the Bible . It's a little faded because it's

55:29

been on display in museums and it's always

55:31

on that page , so the lights have been kind of wearing

55:34

away at the color , but

55:36

this image of the

55:38

devil is the most clear , uh

55:40

, image on this book

55:43

, um , I believe

55:45

. I believe there is there's like wording

55:47

on the page as well . It's written in blood

55:49

, um , from my understanding , if

55:52

I recall correctly , um , now

55:55

, the image of the devil . He's a creepy boy

55:57

, um , but it's , it's kind of it's creepy

55:59

but goofy at the same time . I don't know how to really describe

56:02

it um , but he

56:04

, it's definitely something I wouldn't want to

56:06

see in the middle of the night

56:08

, uh , but it looks like

56:10

it's from a smiling friends cartoon , like

56:13

straight up the . This image

56:15

of the devil looks like it's from smiling friends . Um

56:18

, that's really all I

56:20

got on it there's , it's just a . It's

56:22

just a bible , like straight up . It's a bible

56:24

with , um , very beautiful

56:27

pages , um , but

56:29

it for some reason there's this one image

56:31

of the devil that caught everyone's attention

56:34

and it's like one of the most detailed pieces in

56:36

this book and , uh , it

56:38

apparently just a real creepy thing . It leaves

56:40

you with a real , real daunting

56:43

feeling whenever you view this , this

56:46

image of the devil which there he is . Ah , look

56:49

at them boxers .

56:50

Do you feel daunted ?

56:52

I feel uncomfortable . They didn't even draw

56:54

his wiener . Yeah , he has like boxers on you right

56:56

and it's even like got little hearts on him , yeah

56:58

.

56:58

I know , Little box briefs

57:01

.

57:01

But that's it really . That's why I wanted

57:04

to bring it up , just because it's a small little thing

57:06

. I just thought it was kind of cool . Codex

57:08

Giygas Go look it up if you want . It's a short

57:11

little thing , but

57:13

I thought there was more to the jellyfish

57:15

than that , so I wanted to bring the jellyfish into play

57:17

.

57:22

Man's over here talking about jellyfish and devils . The fact that the the drawing looks

57:24

kind of goofy reminds me of something else I saw when I

57:26

was looking stuff up that I decided not to look

57:28

any further into , so I don't have a lot of information

57:30

about it , but I found this one story about

57:32

a guy who was like like

57:35

allegedly used software

57:38

to build his girlfriend

57:40

.

57:41

Like basically , I fucking read

57:43

that one too imagine .

57:44

His girlfriend , or like , develop

57:48

this image that he has of his soulmate

57:50

in his head . And then he like

57:52

posted a picture on the internet and he was like this

57:54

is my soulmate , everybody help me find them

57:57

. And I was like this is interesting . And

58:00

then I clicked on the link to see the picture and

58:02

the picture is literally like a , an

58:04

eighth graders doodle it

58:07

is like it's just a

58:09

circle head like the most stereotypically

58:12

shaped lips you've ever seen in your entire life

58:15

, and then just like scribbled on hair and like

58:17

dark rimmed glasses . But it like

58:20

I could doodle this A hundred percent

58:22

.

58:22

Meanwhile , he's got this like . He's got this like

58:24

tape to a pillow . He's

58:27

got it like propped up on like a broom handle , Just

58:29

like . Hey , honey , how was work .

58:32

This could be any medium length haired

58:34

girl with dark rimmed glasses on the planet

58:36

.

58:37

This is any white woman you can come across

58:39

. Wow , doug

58:41

, do you have anything else that you want to bring to the table ? Not

58:43

at all , okay . Well

58:45

, on that note , we're a good hour in , so I'm gonna go ahead

58:48

and just give you the old-fashioned get

58:50

your ass over to delutycom

58:54

or delutypodcom , where you can

58:56

become a member and get some bonus content

58:58

, just like you can over at our patreon patreoncom

59:01

slash deluty pod . Go on over there , get yourself

59:03

some merch , get yourself some bonus stuff

59:05

, get yourself , uh , just a good time where you

59:07

can hang out with people in our discord don't

59:09

offer people a good time on our website

59:11

for a good time . Call uh 630-909-9366

59:16

. Um , you could , uh , you could

59:18

go to our our linktreecom . Linktreecom

59:21

slash diluty pod has our links to everything

59:23

on there , all of our socials . We're either diluty

59:25

pod or don't . Look under the internet everywhere

59:28

you want to look . And if you look there I

59:30

promise you'll like it . Um

59:32

, also , I just want to uh

59:35

shout out because , like uh , I'm

59:37

kind of famous now , like I tweeted at

59:39

so olin rogers , are youlin Rogers ? Are you familiar

59:41

? No , matt , are you familiar

59:43

? Oh , youtube comedian . He's very funny

59:46

. Um , I I love his work

59:48

. Um , he made a cartoon

59:50

series that was on TBS for a bit . Uh called

59:52

um final space , but anyway , he's

59:54

doing a ghost hunting show and uh , it's

59:57

very funny , it's very fun . Oh

1:00:00

, I think you had me fucking

1:00:02

follow them on youtube actually and

1:00:05

I , uh I tweeted at haunt hounds

1:00:07

, uh , last night , like I fucking love your

1:00:09

show , it's so funny because they let out their new episode

1:00:11

. And uh , olin rogers retweeted

1:00:13

it and he's like thanks , dude , so I'm kind

1:00:16

of famous now , uh

1:00:18

, so that's a thing and I'm gushing over that .

1:00:20

How does that help us ?

1:00:22

here . It helps me . It helps my

1:00:24

self-confidence , because , uh , that that I

1:00:26

I needed that why are we ?

1:00:28

why ? Why isn't our tweet zach baggins

1:00:30

campaign still in full force ?

1:00:32

because zach baggins sucks and he doesn't respond

1:00:34

back ever um , maybe I

1:00:36

get owen rogers yeah

1:00:39

we that was more than we got out of Zach Bagans . Yeah

1:00:42

, Zach Bagans , if you're listening , come

1:00:45

on .

1:00:46

Yeah , I know you're listening , so come

1:00:49

on .

1:00:52

Anyway . So we're DelutyPod everywhere . For inquiries go

1:00:54

to DelutyPod at gmailcom , and

1:00:58

then you can leave

1:01:00

us a voicemail on our show

1:01:02

. I have to say it at least once

1:01:04

, otherwise people don't know the fucking number you clawed . So

1:01:07

voicemail

1:01:10

, voicemail .

1:01:11

If that one guy can figure it out in the state that

1:01:13

he was in .

1:01:18

So we have . Leave us a voicemail on our phone

1:01:20

number . Stop

1:01:25

it . Leave us a voicemail on our phone number , stop it . Uh , leave us a voicemail on our phone number , um . Or

1:01:27

text us . If you leave us a voicemail , we'll play it at the end of the show text

1:01:29

message . We'll just respond . But at 630-909-9366

1:01:33

one more time . That is 630-909-9366

1:01:37

. I'm gonna say one more time . It's 630-90 0 , 9 , 9

1:01:39

, 3 , 6 , 6 . Rule of threes is back

1:01:41

, baby . Oh , you're okay

1:01:45

, you're too late now

1:01:48

. You're too late , um . So

1:01:50

that's all I got . Uh , doug , what you got

1:01:52

.

1:01:53

I got no Matt first

1:01:56

I praise Orthon . I haven't mentioned

1:01:58

Orthon and I

1:02:00

was thinking , I was literally just thinking

1:02:02

about that .

1:02:02

My boy is out there collecting calcium and bones

1:02:05

and living in a cave somewhere

1:02:07

. He's starving because I haven't mentioned his name

1:02:09

. So I want all of you to go to bed tonight and

1:02:11

I want you to rest your arm

1:02:14

underneath your pillow , like you would put

1:02:16

a tooth under your pillow for the tooth fairy , because

1:02:18

he hungry . He needs a bit more than teeth

1:02:21

.

1:02:21

Right now he's gonna take your arm , but

1:02:23

look at it this way is that what happened to him after

1:02:25

you kicked him out of your house ? In the video

1:02:27

that nobody's ever seen ?

1:02:28

the video that only you and I

1:02:30

know about . Yes

1:02:33

, that's exactly what happened , but he will take your

1:02:35

arm , but it's for a good cause and you

1:02:38

are just benefiting everyone

1:02:40

and Orthon's people in

1:02:43

the long term . So just do that and it's cool

1:02:45

. He'll reward you gratefully in the afterlife

1:02:47

. Matt , go for it .

1:02:50

Register to vote and vote . It's

1:02:53

important .

1:02:55

Vote or die . I'm doing my part .

1:02:57

You actually have only

1:03:00

a couple months to do that before the presidential election

1:03:02

, and you might think that you're just voting for

1:03:04

one crazy old guy and another crazy old

1:03:06

guy , and that is true . But there

1:03:08

are legitimately a lot of politicians who

1:03:11

are going to work very hard to try

1:03:13

to take as many of your rights away as

1:03:15

they can , based on their own belief system , and

1:03:17

you should try to keep that from happening

1:03:20

.

1:03:21

Oh man , look at this fucking duputi over here

1:03:23

. Don't politics under the

1:03:25

? I don't care , it's important , you

1:03:28

should vote .

1:03:30

If you I think a lot of younger people

1:03:32

who listen to us uh

1:03:35

probably aren't registered to vote and weren't planning

1:03:37

on voting , and you should do that . Like

1:03:39

140 million people who were eligible

1:03:42

to vote in the last election didn't do so

1:03:44

, and that

1:03:47

is how the status quo stays

1:03:49

in place .

1:03:50

Also vote

1:03:54

.

1:03:54

Be the change you want to see in the world . Mahatma

1:03:57

Bama oh

1:04:01

my God , yeah what he said . Go do it . Mahatma Bama oh my god , yeah

1:04:04

what he said go do it , do your civic

1:04:06

duty . I'm doing my part

1:04:09

. I'm killing bugs . I ain't

1:04:11

doing shit fucking

1:04:13

it really does .

1:04:14

It takes like all five minutes to go and vote , plus

1:04:17

work lets you get like four

1:04:19

hours off to go .

1:04:20

Do it .

1:04:21

You also don't have to do it Not everywhere .

1:04:21

I have to do it , like on a day , legally they

1:04:24

you in most states it's pretty

1:04:26

every every job legally you get at least

1:04:28

a minimum two hours off .

1:04:29

I think Good good good , yeah , you have to . Um

1:04:31

, that being said , against

1:04:37

your beans , don't write us in .

1:04:39

Write us in Don't do that , don't

1:04:41

do that , nobody wants that we

1:04:43

don't even know , I mean we don't even know that

1:04:45

they used to speak Spanish in the Philippines

1:04:47

.

1:04:49

You don't want us in charge of foreign relations .

1:04:51

This is how much you don't want me in the White House

1:04:53

. Up until maybe , maybe

1:04:56

five to

1:04:58

seven years ago , did not know

1:05:00

where Washington , washington DC , was on a map

1:05:02

.

1:05:03

I thought it was more recently I

1:05:05

thought this was in Washington that

1:05:08

tracks for sure we have this

1:05:11

discussion because I'm like it's close

1:05:13

to Virginia and you're like what ?

1:05:15

Yeah , that tracks , that actually tracks . Okay , let's

1:05:19

forget that , cut this out editor . Anyway

1:05:23

, everybody . Okay , let's forget that

1:05:26

, cut this out editor . Anyway , everybody be cool . That's all I got . Be cool

1:05:28

, be nice , be nice , be cool . Bye , bye

1:05:30

, bye .

1:05:38

Don't look under the internet .