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Randy Baumann, Greg Fitzsimmons and Chris Porter guest

Randy Baumann, Greg Fitzsimmons and Chris Porter guest

Released Monday, 24th June 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
Randy Baumann, Greg Fitzsimmons and Chris Porter guest

Randy Baumann, Greg Fitzsimmons and Chris Porter guest

Randy Baumann, Greg Fitzsimmons and Chris Porter guest

Randy Baumann, Greg Fitzsimmons and Chris Porter guest

Monday, 24th June 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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or visit carvana.com today. Hey,

2:08

hey, hey everybody, my name is

2:10

Doug and I love movies. Coming

2:15

to you once again from the Bottle

2:18

Rocket Social Hall in Pittsburgh,

2:20

Pennsylvania. As

2:26

part of the WDVE Radio

2:28

Comedy Festival, which has been

2:31

a thing I understand

2:33

for 10 years. I'm

2:40

not sure how many years I've been a part

2:42

of it. I think maybe four or five, but

2:44

I will get the exact number possibly from

2:46

one of my guests today. It's

2:49

my second time here at the

2:51

very cool and popular Bottle Rocket

2:53

Social Hall. I know the best

2:55

places to come if you want

2:57

to have many cop cars parked

2:59

outside. I

3:02

said at least a dozen or I'm not

3:04

there and I think they

3:06

overdid it. I think there's 15 to

3:09

20 cop cars out there and

3:11

I didn't have a chance to count them all

3:13

because they were looking at me funny. Last

3:17

year's festival was in July and it

3:19

was hot as fuck. This

3:22

year they moved it up to June and it's still

3:24

pretty hot as fuck. It's

3:27

pretty comfortable in here today

3:29

so far. Good

3:31

job, Bottle Rocket. It's Saturday, June 22nd, 2024.

3:33

Let's do some plugs. Come

3:38

on plugs up, plugs up, plugs

3:40

up. Okay, settle down. Spokane,

3:44

Washington. I'm doing stand up next

3:46

weekend, June 28th and 29th at

3:48

the Spokane Comedy Club with special

3:51

guest Jeff Tate. Jeff

3:53

Tate, David Tate, David Tate.

3:57

I thought that might happen. This

4:00

and movie interruption is back at Dynasty Typewriter

4:02

in LA on Tuesday, July 2nd, and I'm

4:04

doing a Dabbs Day show of

4:07

stand-up comedy with some friends

4:09

on July 10th at the

4:11

punchline in Sacramento, California. For

4:14

all my dates and deeds,

4:16

go to douglovesmovies.com. That's

4:19

douglovesmovies.com! Yeah!

4:22

Good job! Wallet! Shhhhhh! Hey,

4:26

dancing! Oh

4:29

my god. Possibly

4:32

best audience of the year. Or

4:39

worst audience if you dislike cults.

4:43

If you're afraid of cults, that

4:46

was pretty scary sounding, but it's

4:48

all in good fun. Let's take a

4:50

look in the prize bag, shall we?

4:53

I made

4:56

a legal weed purchase in

4:58

New York City. When you're

5:00

in New York City now, some of the weed

5:02

places have a big sign on them saying, we've

5:04

been closed because we're not legal. And

5:07

then other ones are open, so that's

5:09

how you can tell which ones you can shop in.

5:11

It's the ones where they let you in. This

5:15

was a place called Nichols. This is

5:17

the really nice gift bag thing they gave

5:19

me. I just bought like an eighth of

5:21

weed and they gave me this

5:23

beautiful bag. And they also gave me,

5:25

I'm paying it forward, a

5:27

Nichols rolling tray. Yeah.

5:31

Somebody gave me a shirt recently. You

5:34

know, I often give them re-gift shirts

5:36

because they don't fit me. But

5:38

this one, I just don't like what it says on

5:41

it. It just looks

5:43

like a misspelling of my name, so

5:45

that's something I'm going to wear out

5:48

in public. It fell out when

5:50

I was fishing through the stuff.

5:52

I hope it's not anything too good. I

5:55

think it was one of the pins. I've got pins

5:57

to say, Doug loves movies. And another one says, Doug

5:59

Benson on TV. but you have to be able to

6:01

find it. I think it

6:03

fell in the cracks here on the stage. And

6:06

so it'll be a little bit of a

6:08

mission to try to get that

6:10

back. I know some of you are saying,

6:12

wow, that's what an amazing prize bag. Is

6:15

it possible that it could get any better, or is

6:17

that it? Oh,

6:20

there's the Doug Benson pin. So I don't know

6:23

what the hell sounded like it

6:25

fell over there. But this

6:28

is something that I have more than one of. I

6:30

don't have a lot. I just kept one

6:32

for myself, and I'm giving one away now, because

6:35

it's just such a weird thing that I have. And

6:37

what's the point of having two of them? The one

6:39

I have, it's just sitting in a

6:42

box somewhere. And it's

6:44

just there. I just know that I have it.

6:47

But it's still just an interesting thing for

6:50

just a random person to now own. When

6:55

Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold got

6:57

married, I

7:02

went. I was a guest

7:04

of someone that knew them a lot

7:06

better than me. I was their guest

7:09

at the wedding. It was across the street from

7:11

where I lived at the time. And

7:14

it was in a synagogue. And

7:16

we even got, I'll never give up

7:19

my yarmulke that says Tom and Roseanne

7:21

on it. But this

7:23

is straight up, this is real. I don't

7:25

know if it's worth anything. But

7:28

this is a cocktail napkin

7:31

from the reception that says Roseanne

7:33

and Tom, June 23, 1991. First

7:44

I'm going to blow my nose with it, and then I'm going to

7:46

put it, no. It's still

7:48

in semi-pristine condition. Someone's

7:51

going to win that today. The

7:54

stakes have hardly ever been higher. And

7:57

I've got three great guests. that

8:00

are ready to go, had to had to try to

8:02

win for somebody in the audience. Are you ready to

8:04

meet my guests? Yeah. Yeah.

8:07

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They

8:10

all killed it last night

8:12

at the Biome Theater as

8:14

part of the WDVE Comedy

8:16

Festival. Please give a big

8:18

warm welcome to Randy Bauman,

8:20

Greg Fitzsimmons, and Chris Porter.

8:23

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

8:26

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

8:28

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

8:31

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

8:34

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

8:38

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

8:41

Yeah. Hey, fellas. Hello.

8:43

Fun colors on the microphones, huh? Oh,

8:46

I didn't even notice that until you

8:48

all picked him up. Yeah. It just

8:50

looks like we're all holding

8:53

Muppets genitalia. Yeah.

8:55

Yeah. Yeah. Like that.

8:58

Sort of Muppet bukkake. Yeah.

9:01

I've got a Cookie Monster. Randy has Kermit. Yours

9:04

would be Elmo. Elmo. And yellow would be?

9:06

Am I Bert? Or yeah,

9:08

Bert. Big Bert. Or Big Bert. Or Big

9:10

Bert. You're more like Big Bert. That's

9:13

fair. Yeah, just in general. Well,

9:15

let's meet everybody in

9:18

alphabetical order by

9:21

first name. So our first guest

9:23

I'm going to introduce tonight is

9:26

Chris Porter, everybody. Thanks.

9:29

Thanks. I

9:34

had a corny introduction for you. I was going

9:36

to say he's not in Kansas anymore. Oh,

9:39

yeah. Because you're a known Kansan. Yeah,

9:42

one of my specials is called A

9:44

Man from Kansas. Yeah. Yeah. Which

9:46

they've obviously seen by

9:49

the amount of laughter from the joke.

9:52

The applause. The

9:54

recognition applause. Overwhelming. But

9:58

yeah. So. So

10:00

that's why I was going to introduce you with

10:02

Kansan. But I do think

10:06

that Kansan Chris is kind of

10:08

a fun, if

10:10

you need a nickname at some point, or

10:12

a wrestling name. I'll put it

10:15

on the list of possibilities. You got a

10:17

list? If I ever make

10:19

one. Well,

10:21

thank you for being here. Do you have fun last

10:23

night? I had a blast last night. You

10:26

know, it's a great show with great comics.

10:29

And make beautiful theater. If

10:32

you're not enjoying one of the comics, you can just enjoy

10:34

the architecture. Like, there's

10:36

sculptures in the architecture. Like,

10:38

there's art built into the

10:40

walls. Naked. Yeah, I love

10:42

continuity. I love voluptuous sculptures.

10:44

Yeah. Yeah. That's really fancy.

10:46

In Pittsburgh, the cultural trust

10:48

paid to maintain and

10:51

restore all those old theaters.

10:53

Because before Carnegie died,

10:55

he felt bad about

10:58

shooting everybody's great grandparents who

11:00

were striking in Homestead. So he left the

11:02

trust to make sure that we always had

11:04

nice theaters and libraries and stuff like that.

11:06

Does anyone else feel like they're on a

11:08

segue right now? I

11:12

know I want to move on to something else. Nicely

11:16

known. Nicely known. I feel like we were on

11:18

a tour. Yo,

11:21

that was a great bit of business, but speak

11:23

when spoken to. We

11:29

had a great time having you at the festival

11:31

again this year. Oh, thank you so much. It's

11:34

always a great time. I popped in for a

11:36

few minutes last night on stage at the biome

11:38

just to get that, you know, it's just fun

11:40

to just pop in a big

11:42

theater show. You're a surprise guest. Yeah. You were

11:44

like, all right. There's a surprise, because like, why

11:47

would I, you know, why? You

11:49

know, so some

11:52

of us will see that guy tomorrow at the bottle

11:54

rocket. We don't need him tonight. But I

11:57

just flew in, did a quick

11:59

five. Yeah, it's kind of like when

12:01

Incidentally appeared in a rap song in the 2000s.

12:05

Like, we don't need him, but

12:07

we're glad he's here. It's exactly

12:09

like that. Randy, another fun fact,

12:11

quick. How about video? I learned

12:14

my lesson. There's

12:16

no lesson to learn. I'm just being an

12:18

a-hole. Because do you hear how

12:20

they laugh at it? They enjoy that sort of

12:23

business. And I like to give the people what

12:25

they want. But

12:27

your last in alphabetical order by first

12:29

name, it's a total... It's

12:32

actually all three of you. It's a

12:34

complete flip to probably what you're used

12:36

to in your lives. Because alphabetical order

12:38

is usually by last name. But GF,

12:40

they're right crowded there together. So

12:42

I don't know how often that

12:45

comes into play. For Greg Fitzsimmons!

12:48

Thank you. Thank you very

12:50

much. Now,

12:54

how much fun did you have last night getting to

12:56

see Chris Porter? You

12:59

know, honestly, I feel like some people

13:01

are great at clubs. And

13:04

I saw Chris last night as a guy who really knew how

13:06

to play a theater. He really

13:09

fucking nailed it. He

13:13

left the mic in the stand and just brought them

13:15

into him and just pounded it out. It

13:17

was great. I enjoyed it. So you're saying he

13:19

was hard to follow? He was hard to follow.

13:23

I think I did follow you. I

13:25

think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't even

13:27

remember. That stuff doesn't matter to you. I

13:30

don't follow anybody any time. Honestly, we

13:32

were all watching the hockey game. Anybody

13:35

watched the hockey game last night? We

13:37

had it on our phones. And so we

13:39

were kind of splitting our attention between the

13:41

other comedians and watching one of the most

13:43

exciting hockey games in years. I'm sure everybody

13:45

at the baseball game had the hockey game

13:47

on their phones. I'm sure they did. Because

13:50

that was a bit of a blue out,

13:52

which I hate to see because I like

13:54

the town to be in a good mood.

13:56

Yes. When the stadium's right there

13:58

in the middle of the city, you want... You

14:00

want everybody to be happy. Yeah,

14:03

it's a beautiful city. There's a lot of

14:05

bridges. Randy, you got

14:07

a fun fact about bridges? The

14:10

reason there's so many bridges is because there's

14:12

so many rivers. In fact, three

14:15

of them in our downtown area. Now,

14:17

if you'll follow me to the next road. Hang

14:19

on, hang on. That's a bridge too far. Movie

14:24

reference. OK, so Greg,

14:27

thank you for being here. Thank you for

14:29

having me, Doug. Today, this

14:31

place has turned out to be, I think,

14:33

very comfortable. I was worried

14:36

that me and my guests might be a little warm, but

14:39

it feels great in here. And

14:42

I know you're going to have plenty of time

14:44

to be uncomfortable later when you get on Burt

14:47

Kreischer's tour bus. Bus

14:49

is. He's got two buses. Oh, so you

14:51

might not be in the same bus as Burt? No.

14:53

There's like eight comics,

14:56

I think. So there's like two sets of

14:58

books. There's a

15:00

bunch of bunk beds in each bus. And then

15:02

Burt has a suite in the back of. It

15:04

takes up half the bus. Yeah, probably a Jacuzzi.

15:06

It's got a Jacuzzi back there. There's

15:08

a wet bar. Sorry,

15:10

I didn't mean to step up on your joke. That's

15:13

fine. I mean, you're more of a theater act. This

15:17

is more of a bar. This is like a row house.

15:20

This is where Greg shines. This

15:22

is my. Sit down, theater boy.

15:28

Save your bows for after Act Two. All

15:32

right, so who do you have to

15:34

bunk with, do you know? Do they

15:36

tell you? I think me and Henchcliffe are

15:38

the smallest guys on the bus, so it'll

15:40

probably be me and him. Spooning, reverse spooning,

15:42

forking. Well, you're the only ones that have

15:44

to share a bunk? Is that what you're

15:46

trying to say? So little. I see. OK.

15:50

Well, you're only going to Buffalo, and then you're

15:52

off. It's not like you're going on a long

15:54

bus tour, right? No, I did that with him

15:56

a couple weeks ago. We hit a bunch of

15:59

dates and. You really just go to

16:01

your, after three days, you go, I

16:04

don't need to change clothes. Because

16:06

your suitcase is underneath the bus, you

16:08

gotta open this giant door, and

16:11

your bunk is just like, it's like a

16:13

cadaver. Like it's like when they pull out

16:15

the drawer. You're all vampires. Yeah, you're vampires,

16:17

and you just go like, you know, how

16:19

dirty am I? I'm fine. Can

16:22

you sleep on an overnight when the bus

16:24

is going? Better than I sleep in a

16:26

bed. It kind of rocks you a little

16:28

bit, and there's like the humming of the

16:30

engine. I totally agree on cruise ships and

16:33

in planes, but something about a bus to

16:35

me, I'm just like, if that one driver

16:37

nods off, we're all fucked. Like what a

16:39

horrible way to be in an accident, to

16:41

be in a car on a bus. Well

16:45

there's two guys, arguably, or a lady could

16:47

be in there. Let's

16:50

not get ahead of ourselves. Well you

16:53

only know that if it's like, Or

16:55

two ladies. There's other planes honking behind

16:57

you, then you know that

16:59

there's a woman. But

17:03

anyway, I didn't mean to get into a whole

17:05

thing about transportation, but I'm sure Randy has something

17:07

to say about it. Oddly

17:09

enough, rail car was the main way to

17:12

transport one another up and down the huge

17:14

hills here in Pittsburgh for many years. Yeah,

17:18

speaking of the huge hills, so Chris

17:21

and Greg are experiencing, you came

17:24

from a hotel somewhere in Pittsburgh

17:26

to this venue

17:28

and you saw how

17:30

the road was windy and went up quite

17:32

a bit to get here, right? Last

17:35

year, Steph Tolev walked to

17:38

this gate. No she didn't. She

17:40

fucking walked. What? I got here

17:42

all sweaty and like, I didn't

17:44

expect it to be like that.

17:46

Yeah. Yeah. It

17:50

was pretty awesome, but it was, it

17:53

really hot, like wet hot day. Yeah.

17:56

And she was on Bert's tour bus and didn't shower.

17:59

Oh really? That's true. Okay. All

18:02

right, so let's

18:04

meet the man who, he's the

18:07

one that first invited me to

18:09

participate in this festival, Break Doug

18:11

Loves Movies, to the DV Comedy

18:14

Festival. Give it up, everybody, for

18:16

Randy Bauman, everybody. Whoo! And

18:20

this is the tenth one you've done.

18:23

No way. I was up here guessing. I think

18:25

I've done it four or five times. This

18:28

is ten, I've done ten of them, and you've

18:30

done ten of them. So I've been in it from the

18:32

beginning? Yeah. You've never not done, you

18:34

didn't know, dude, you're like, I

18:36

did not know this. You are the exclamation point at

18:39

the end of the DV Comedy Festival every year. I'm

18:41

so glad that you are honored by that distinction.

18:44

Well, no, I've been honored that I've

18:46

been, you know, invited back multiple times

18:48

as it is, but I didn't realize

18:50

it was ten times. How

18:52

many different venues do you think? I

18:55

think three. So there were

18:58

a lot of them at the improv? No,

19:00

no, Rex Theater? A lot at the Rex.

19:02

And then one or two at the improv.

19:04

Yes. And then this is our second

19:06

one here. Correct. The best spot of all.

19:09

Yeah, Bonerock, it's great. Yeah, we love it here. Whoo!

19:14

So here's to my next year, year six. You

19:18

guys are like the old married couple where one

19:20

knows how many years you've been together and the

19:22

other one's like, I don't know. It's

19:25

been a while. I didn't even know if Randy

19:27

would know for sure because we did get busted

19:29

up there by a couple of years off because

19:32

of COVID. Yeah. And, but

19:34

I know I heard you say last

19:36

night at the biome that

19:38

you're ten years strong. So I

19:41

truly am honored to have been part of

19:43

all ten years. Yeah, we always

19:46

thought it was like a great way to end it because we'd have

19:48

comics come into town for the main stage event and we're like, well,

19:50

what's a good way to finish it so

19:52

that they can come into town and have

19:54

two gigs basically. And

19:56

your podcast was a natural fit and you're friends with everybody that

19:58

we end up booking half the time. It's

20:00

a pretty easy sell. Except for this time, where I

20:02

have to get out of town. We gotta get out

20:04

of town. Like, you know, it's always a timing issue.

20:07

And some great comics I

20:10

was able to ask could not be here.

20:12

So I'm glad... I'm glad... Let

20:15

me finish, Chris! I'm glad

20:17

that even better comedians took

20:20

my call. A

20:23

quick yes from all of these gentlemen,

20:25

which I absolutely appreciate. But before we

20:27

get into the game portion of the

20:29

show today, I'd like each

20:31

of you, and we'll go in

20:33

the same order we just went in. We'll start

20:36

with Chris. I'd like you to recommend one

20:38

movie that you

20:40

think people, you know, would get

20:42

something out of, whether it's laughter,

20:45

or change their

20:47

life in some way, or, you

20:49

know, just a movie

20:51

that... I mean,

20:53

you think will be a worthwhile experience for a

20:55

person. I know I hate that question, because

20:58

then it's on you if they don't like the movie. For

21:01

sure. But I still want it

21:03

to be something that you personally feel very good

21:05

about. I

21:09

don't... I don't... Like

21:12

movies? I would

21:14

say the other guys, I think it's

21:16

very underrated. On cable,

21:18

quite a bit. It's on cable. You

21:21

gotta see it unedited, though. It's like

21:23

seeing blazing saddles on cable. Right,

21:26

no farts. This isn't funny. They're

21:28

just sitting around the campfire. What's

21:32

that word that keep bleeping out? Yeah,

21:36

it's true. I'm very much against

21:39

the edited movies, but I'm also

21:42

in a hotel room a lot of the times. And

21:44

instead of looking at my phone, I want... In a

21:46

hotel room a lot of the times. And

21:49

instead of looking at my phone, I want to

21:51

watch whatever TV they've got there. Some

21:53

movies you can watch... Like Forrest Gump, you

21:55

can watch edited all day long. Oh, right,

21:57

yeah. There's like one curse word, I think.

22:00

Yeah, doesn't he say? Get

22:02

your fucking hands off her. No,

22:04

really? Or what? Forrest Gump

22:06

drops an F-phone? I don't remember. If

22:10

he did, he should do it somewhere better than that. Like,

22:12

I need to fucking pee. Yeah, yeah,

22:14

yeah. I better not

22:16

get the fucking Aids. Life's

22:18

a fucking box. He's

22:21

just real mad at his

22:24

mom. Yeah, lots

22:26

of fucking bucks of chocolates. Fucking...

22:28

Who's that random dude? No,

22:30

it really does make it... It just

22:32

takes all the niceness and fun out of that expression

22:35

and say you never know what you're gonna fucking

22:37

get. It's

22:40

no longer the joy of mystery. Life's

22:45

big questions. Okay, what was

22:47

your answer? The

22:50

other guys. Do you have

22:52

anything else you want to say about that

22:54

movie? I agree with you that people would

22:56

probably enjoy it. I like

22:58

the way it's well structured and the fact

23:01

that halfway through the

23:03

movie's new gags start. Like,

23:06

the TLC gags don't start until an hour

23:08

and a half into the movie. And

23:12

then it just keeps getting better and better. I just

23:14

thought, as far as comedies

23:16

go, I thought it was a really good

23:18

one. And I don't think a

23:21

lot of people know about it. Yeah,

23:23

as a comedian, I think that's a strong

23:25

recommendation for people

23:28

to hear. The other guys. I

23:31

like the nice guys too. Oh shit.

23:35

Put that on your list. Put

23:38

that on one of your many lists you're not

23:40

making. Greg, what do you think?

23:44

What would you like to recommend? Have you seen anything

23:46

great lately? Lately?

23:50

I mean, it was kind of underrated and people

23:52

didn't get huge reviews. I

23:54

really like the Amy Winehouse movie. I thought

23:57

it was, I mean, I loved her. Loved her.

24:00

The actress or the Amy? The

24:02

actress was amazing. Didn't care

24:04

for Amy so much, but that actress

24:06

really captured whatever was going

24:09

on with Amy. She really took the music to another

24:11

level. You really enjoyed that movie? I did,

24:13

and it was so funny because I never check Rotten

24:15

Tomatoes or anything before I see a movie. I

24:18

don't read reviews, I don't watch trailers, I get

24:20

to movie theaters 21 minutes

24:22

after the movie is scheduled to start. Because

24:24

I want a fresh start. I love

24:26

when I can see a movie of

24:28

Virgin, not knowing even the genre. Anything. Yeah.

24:32

It can be really fun. Yeah. Especially

24:34

in genre bending movies. Well the one... Because you get a

24:36

movie that starts one way and goes another fucking way and

24:38

you didn't know which way it was going to go in

24:40

the first place. That happened to me last year. I

24:42

was in Hollywood and I had like two hours to

24:44

kill and I walked into a multiplex. I remember that

24:47

Korean movie last year that I think it might have

24:49

won the Oscar. It was all over

24:51

the place. Parasite? Nope,

24:53

last year. Oh,

24:55

Past Lives? Nope, not Past

24:57

Lives. Oh

25:00

my god, everyone's just going to keep guessing. Everything

25:04

everywhere all at once. Everything everywhere all at once.

25:06

Oh, that movie! I walked into

25:08

that not knowing what genre it was and

25:10

it took me 20 minutes to go, did

25:12

I take acid on the way over here? What's happening?

25:15

And then I loved it. Yeah,

25:17

everybody loved that movie. I'm shocked that I

25:20

didn't think of that when you said Korean

25:24

movie that won an Oscar. Last

25:28

year. Last year was... Yeah,

25:30

that was a pretty good clue. It

25:32

wasn't too long ago. Yeah. Okay,

25:34

so... Wait, so what's

25:36

your answer? I would say Amy, but I'm going to

25:38

give an honorable mention to... I just

25:40

showed my kids who are now 20 and 23 repo

25:43

man and they lost a shit.

25:46

Really? Yeah, I forgot how profound

25:48

that movie was. It was like,

25:51

you know, it was back when indie movies were

25:53

really just down and

25:55

dirty, funny ideas. Like,

25:58

just let's think... They just have to be like...

26:00

a good sense of humor? Like they just enjoyed

26:02

the humor of it? I think they liked that

26:04

they're so used to seeing things

26:07

overly produced now and smooth. They

26:09

just loved it like you could tell there were

26:11

certain scenes where they edited it and then they were like,

26:14

oh fuck, we left out why

26:17

they got from A to B. Let's go

26:19

shoot it in a room with one camera.

26:22

And it was just like, you know,

26:24

guerrilla filmmaking. They kind of felt it. But

26:27

a funny script like they say funny

26:29

things. Yeah. In that movie. Yeah. Like

26:33

let's get sushi and do some crimes. Some

26:37

fun like. All right. So Amy

26:40

Winehouse movie. Is that what it's called? That's

26:42

not what it's called. Amy Winehouse. The movie.

26:45

Which seems disrespectful. I think it's called

26:47

Back to Black. Oh, okay. Yeah, I

26:49

think you're right. Maybe even Colin, the

26:52

Amy Winehouse story. And

26:54

then the ACDC movie is Back in Black.

26:57

Yeah, you got to keep those straight for

26:59

sure. Okay, so

27:01

let's go to Randy with

27:04

the weather. I was just

27:06

telling you about like watching Sorcerer for the first

27:08

time. Yeah. But like I feel like I need

27:10

to watch that another time to really appreciate it.

27:12

So I don't like it's one of those not

27:14

sure I could recommend it. Cinema

27:16

Paradisio is the one I probably

27:18

knows it, but I never saw

27:20

it until recently. And I

27:23

just could not believe how much I love

27:25

that movie because it's literally a movie about

27:27

loving movies. But like the overall reaching theme

27:29

is a little bit different. It's like centered

27:31

in this world of appreciating movies and like

27:34

Sicily in the 50s and how

27:36

big in this little town, how

27:38

big it was to have the movie each week and

27:40

how the Catholic Church would cut them all up and

27:42

everything. But it was like this one dude in town

27:45

tells this guy who had gone to be a great

27:47

director one day like get the hell out of here.

27:49

Because if you don't, you're never going

27:51

to achieve all these dreams you have. And I

27:53

think that that's like a resonant theme for so

27:55

many people that are like, you

27:58

know, I could take a chance or I could

28:00

just hang out where I am here, where it's

28:02

safe. So it's got cool themes. And if you

28:04

love movies, it

28:06

just makes you feel like, oh, dude,

28:08

this is everything I like about movies

28:10

in a movie that's about loving

28:13

movies. So it's kind of

28:15

inception-like in that way. Yeah, it's very much

28:17

the movie that comes up when people are

28:19

talking about movies that are

28:21

love letters to the movies. That's

28:24

like the, if not

28:27

the number one, it's way up there.

28:29

And I've got to admit,

28:31

I've never watched it end to end.

28:35

Every time there's a montage

28:37

in any awards show or anywhere that's

28:40

a love letter to the movies has

28:42

moments from it. And

28:45

last action hero, I feel

28:47

like, kind of steals some

28:50

aspects of that movie, because it's also about

28:52

a little kid in a

28:54

movie theater and being in the projection

28:56

room, the magic of it. But

28:59

then they have Arnold Schwarzenegger. OK,

29:02

so those are three

29:04

terrific recommendations. I mean, three very

29:06

different kinds of movies. You

29:10

can laugh, or you could cry, or

29:12

you could watch some foreign nonsense. No,

29:14

I'm kidding. So

29:17

check those movies out if you get

29:19

a chance. And of course, support movies

29:21

in the cinema wherever

29:23

possible. We're

29:25

going to take our first commercial break.

29:27

During the break, we'll pick out who

29:29

my guests are playing on behalf of

29:32

today. And we'll do that after

29:35

this. We'll be right back. Good job,

29:37

Mark. Good job. Good job. Good

29:40

job. Good job. Good

29:42

job. Good job. This episode is

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brought to you in part by Shopify.

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31:47

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31:49

a car on Carvana from the comfort of home.

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That's a good blend. It's time to

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take it easy, like answering some easy questions

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be. Convenient, comfortable. Ahh!

32:13

We're back! Oh

32:21

boy, oh boy, I've got what I

32:24

think are some fun games to play

32:26

with you gentlemen today. I

32:30

hope you really want to win for the

32:32

person you're playing on behalf of because they

32:34

are counting on you. This

32:36

is possibly one of the best

32:39

prize bags ever.

32:45

You can feel it right? You can feel the tension

32:47

in the room. And

32:49

the first game we're going to play today

32:51

to determine a winner is something I like

32:53

to call Live, Die, Repeat. Oh,

33:02

I almost forgot the important part of

33:04

telling the listeners what's going

33:06

on with what we did during the

33:09

break. Chris is playing on behalf of

33:11

a gentleman with a name tag that

33:13

says Ron of the Dead because Chris

33:15

is a fan of Shaun of the

33:17

Dead. And Greg

33:20

is playing for Chuckie Horror

33:22

Picture Show to spite Jim

33:25

Manji. It

33:27

was a spite choice on the part

33:30

of Greg Fitzsimmons. He's going

33:32

to build a spite store to continue

33:34

his fight against Jim Manji. And

33:37

then Randy is playing for

33:39

Jen Her. I

33:43

know there's had Jennifer's on name tags, but

33:45

I think that Jen Her might be a

33:48

first. Is that like your

33:50

dad's favorite movie? Yeah,

33:52

sure. Okay. Shut

33:54

up, Doug. Okay, so those

33:57

are the people that you're playing for and the

33:59

first game. as I said, it's called

34:01

Live, Die, Repeat. And this

34:03

is an absolutely ridiculous game. Like

34:06

all the contestants were sweating last year

34:08

during this game, because it was

34:11

hot as fuck. I'll

34:13

say the title of a movie, and

34:17

you have to tell me the

34:19

title of that movie. The first

34:21

person who can repeat back the

34:23

full correct title of the film

34:26

wins the game. I'll say it

34:28

slowly. I'll say the

34:30

title very slowly. And every time somebody has

34:32

a guess that's wrong, I'll go back to

34:34

the beginning of the title. So,

34:36

you know, some people play it

34:38

one way, they sit back and dive

34:41

in when they really got it. And other

34:43

people like to guess based

34:45

on what they've heard so far. Does

34:48

that make sense, Greg? Nope. Nope. So

34:50

you're gonna say it, and then we're gonna take turns?

34:52

You're gonna call it? No, you're just yelling out.

34:54

So three people will yell it out at the same

34:57

time. I don't think so, because

34:59

one of you should figure it out before

35:01

the others. Okay. But it

35:03

could be very close. Yeah.

35:06

But, you know, it's not like I'm

35:08

gonna say Jaws. Yeah. Then

35:11

it really would be like, holy shit, they all

35:13

said it at the same time. How do we

35:16

pick? Okay. Which one is the winner? All

35:18

right, so here we go. You

35:21

know, I got a few of these, so you'll

35:23

get the hang of it if you don't, and the very first

35:25

one. A

35:28

man, a woman, and

35:30

a... A

35:39

man, a woman, and a dog. A

35:42

man, a woman, and

35:44

a bank. Jaws.

35:51

A man. A

35:56

fun with dick and chain. That's

35:59

what it's about. a woman

36:03

and a bank. You're saying

36:05

the title right now? A

36:09

man. Yeah,

36:12

first person to repeat it back correctly. A man, a

36:14

woman, and a bank? That is correct, Randy! I

36:18

got to say, I got to say, Doug,

36:21

one of your poorest performances

36:23

in explaining a game of all

36:26

time. That was like... People

36:28

never get it. People never understand it.

36:31

It has to happen, because

36:33

now you understand it. Do you

36:35

understand it now, Craig? There's a

36:37

movie called A Man, A Woman, and a Bank? Yeah.

36:42

And you were shitting on my Cinema Paradisio

36:44

reference. Well, these aren't going to be movies

36:46

everybody's heard of. I already set

36:48

that up by saying it's not going to be

36:50

Jaws. All right. So,

36:53

Randy got that one, but let's see if

36:55

he can do it again. As

36:59

we go into round two. But

37:02

that was, you know, somebody was on the right

37:04

track by at least trying to guess where

37:06

the title was headed. Just

37:09

wasn't dog. Just

37:11

didn't work out. I feel like you're talking about

37:14

me. Die! Exclamation point.

37:21

Die! Exclamation

37:24

point. My...

37:29

Sweet. Die, die, my sweet. Die.

37:31

Die. My. Darling. Die,

37:37

die, my darling. Randy wins again. This

37:46

is so stupid. You guys

37:48

should hear or see on other

37:51

episodes. Just imagine other comedians, you know,

37:53

and how they wouldn't shut the fuck

37:55

up guessing everything that comes into their

37:57

head. And you guys are all just like,

37:59

you know what? What, Randy, when

38:01

you think you've got it, go

38:04

ahead. We're polite. It's

38:09

usually mayhem, but

38:11

fun mayhem, but this is

38:14

an interesting game because, let's

38:16

see if Randy

38:18

can three-peat and

38:21

do it one more time. Okay,

38:24

here we go. Clute.

38:28

Clute. Correct. That is it.

38:30

Randy did it again. Classic

38:40

curve ball I throw in there. Yeah,

38:43

yeah. Yeah. Change

38:45

up. That was a great job, Randy. You

38:48

really killed it. You're a good listener.

38:53

What do you think that a man,

38:56

a woman, and a bank and I

38:58

die, my darling and Clute have in

39:00

common? Donald Sutherland. That is correct.

39:02

We just lost a great actor, Donald

39:04

Sutherland, so I thought I would give

39:08

him a back door tribute. That

39:10

sounds terrible. So I

39:12

decided to fuck him in the ass.

39:17

Although if you remember, in Animal House we

39:19

saw his ass naked. Yes, we did. Yeah.

39:23

I like everything I'm reading and seeing now

39:25

and interviews and stuff because you always get

39:27

a deluge of information about somebody when they

39:30

die. I

39:32

wish I'd run into him anywhere because if

39:34

you ask him anything about his career, he

39:36

would stop and tell you the story, which

39:38

is very generous with that. Everybody's

39:40

stories were all the same. I ran into

39:43

him somewhere and I just sort of said, I liked your movie

39:45

and then he told me a whole story about it. It

39:48

was super nice and super into acting,

39:50

like was constantly acting since the

39:52

70s. Like never, like up

39:54

until, you know, I guess he was sick for a

39:56

little while, but up until the very end he was

39:59

still in stuff. He was in all the Hunger

40:02

Games movies, just clearly passionate

40:04

about acting and being

40:06

an actor in films and TV. And

40:09

so anyway. And he turned down points on Animal

40:12

House. He took a day rate.

40:14

Well there you go. Instead of taking 2% of

40:16

Animal House, he didn't think it was going to

40:18

be anything. So he was like, just

40:20

pay me for the day. This is going to flop. Yeah.

40:24

Well he had already played the clumsy waiter

40:26

in their in Kentucky Fright movie. Atlantis

40:29

is a movie before that. So

40:32

that's another thing. He just was clearly a guy,

40:34

if you go through his resume, there's short films

40:36

here and there. Like he said yes to people,

40:39

to be a nice person, I think sometimes. And

40:41

that was the case with Animal House,

40:43

turning down the points. I'm

40:46

glad tonight I actually went

40:48

with points on this

40:50

episode rather than the flatbed out. I think that's

40:52

going to work right. It took my age in

40:54

a while to beat Doug down, but we got

40:56

it. I mean I don't know

40:58

if you've had the thrill of getting a residual

41:01

check for a penny, but it is pretty, makes

41:03

you feel pretty good that they spent more money

41:05

on the stamp to get it to

41:08

you by a large margin. And

41:11

the amazing thing is, I will not stop

41:13

on the street to pick up a penny.

41:16

I will scan and deposit a one cent

41:18

check. I ripped that fucker up immediately. Do

41:20

you? There used to be a bar

41:22

in the valley in LA called Residuals. The

41:24

premise was if you brought a residual

41:27

check that was less than $5, some

41:29

small amount, if

41:31

you brought it in, they'd pin it up

41:33

to the wall and give you a free drink.

41:36

And then it's in a city of a million

41:38

actors who are all out of work, so they

41:40

had to stop that. They had

41:42

to stop that policy, but I still

41:44

drive by and it's still called Residuals

41:47

and it makes me laugh. I

41:50

wasn't getting, when I went there,

41:52

I wasn't getting those checks regularly, but now I

41:54

get checks for a penny a lot

41:56

of the time. Sometimes for one show where I did

41:59

a bunch of episodes, they'll put them

42:01

in different envelopes even. So it's like 13 envelopes

42:03

that are each a penny. You're just

42:05

going through each one going, come on, come on, give me, how

42:07

about 23 cents? How

42:10

about 50 cents, let's go. It's

42:13

your own little lottery game you get to play. There's

42:15

an idea that they take anything under $5 and

42:18

put it into a fund for sick

42:20

actors. Oh really? Yeah,

42:22

it's great, like some kind of pension fund for

42:24

people. Well I just keep the penny check and

42:26

do that. I wish I

42:28

could just check something off so they don't send me

42:30

the little ones. Just

42:33

send me the ones that are for $4. Because

42:37

that's going to come in handy. All

42:40

right, so Randy, again,

42:42

congratulations for winning that first

42:44

game. Of course, as

42:46

you and listeners of the show

42:48

might be already aware, all

42:50

he gets for winning that first game is he gets to

42:52

go first in the next game. And

42:55

this next game is something I call

42:57

Go Fish. Whoo!

43:04

Chris Porter, before you get too

43:06

excited, it's Fish, F-I-S-H, it's not

43:09

Fish the band, it's Fish,

43:12

as in the word fish. And

43:15

you'll understand why this game was

43:17

invented once I explain it

43:19

to you. I'm going to say a

43:21

fun fact or

43:24

statement that applies to a

43:26

motion picture. We'll start

43:28

with Randy, he gets multiple choice, three

43:30

answers to choose from. I'll

43:33

say this factoid and then

43:35

you tell me, and

43:37

then you tell me if it

43:39

involves, if it is the movie

43:41

Big Fish, Rumble

43:44

Fish, or

43:46

The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh.

43:48

Hey! Whoo! Yep,

43:53

I've been sucking up to the locals for 42

43:55

years. Yeah,

43:57

I noticed how you gave Randy the first three correct

43:59

answers. answers. Clued?

44:04

What? But

44:09

if Randy misses, because it's multiple

44:12

choice three, if he misses, then Chris

44:14

gets a crack at it. And if

44:16

Chris misses, you'll know what the answer

44:18

is, because it'll be the third of

44:21

the three choices. So you'll get what

44:23

we call the gimme point. Which

44:25

may in fact be the only points I

44:28

get, because as you know... That's how you

44:30

do it, Greg. You come in here and

44:32

you just do the bare minimum and sometimes

44:34

win. Yeah. Yeah. It's

44:36

beautiful to behold. And

44:40

whenever somebody gets one right, we'll start on

44:43

the next one with the next person in

44:45

order. Are you ready, Randy, to

44:48

tell me... Are you familiar

44:50

with these films, Big Fish, Rumble Fish, and Fish

44:52

to the State of Pittsburgh? Yeah. I mean, I

44:54

don't remember too much in Rumble Fish, but I

44:57

know... It's like the

44:59

second Outsiders. I see

45:01

a hint in the same writer. It is, yes. The same

45:03

writer, and it is the film that was shot almost

45:06

concurrently with... While he was

45:08

making the Outsiders, Francois Koppel thought, Oh, I want

45:10

to make something that's grittier in

45:13

black and white, more down and

45:16

dirty, less big setups and spectacular

45:18

looking shots. And so they made

45:20

Rumble Fish. But

45:23

one company that he went to to make Rumble Fish

45:25

was like, Will you

45:27

make Rumble Fish? And they were like, No, we

45:29

already saw the script for Outsiders. The movie was

45:31

making... They didn't even made it yet. They

45:33

were like, We saw the script. We don't want

45:35

Rumble Fish. But then he managed

45:38

to find somewhere else to do it,

45:40

obviously, because it exists, and

45:42

it's in this game. You

45:46

know what else also exists? The fish that

45:48

saved Pittsburgh, which is one of

45:50

my favorite titles of all time,

45:54

because it's got Pittsburgh in there and

45:56

the fish for some reason. And

46:00

of course, Big Fish is

46:02

the Tim

46:04

Burton motion picture. So

46:06

the first one that

46:09

you get to do, Randy, is

46:13

tell me which one of those three is the answer

46:15

when I say not based

46:18

on a book. Which

46:22

one is not based on a book?

46:24

Yeah. Is this just something that you

46:26

happen to know being such an expert

46:28

on all things Pittsburgh? No. Because

46:31

I know we just said

46:33

Essie Hinton did Rumblefish. And

46:37

I remember that reading

46:39

that Big Fish was a book at

46:41

some point, but I'm not 100%

46:43

sure on that. So I'm just doing

46:45

the SAT process of elimination. Maybe Big

46:47

Fish was maybe they made a novelization

46:49

after the film. It's quite possible. In

46:51

which case, you know. It is quite

46:53

possible. And that's what happened with the

46:55

fish to say Pittsburgh, you are correct.

46:57

Wow. There

47:03

is a novelization of the fish

47:05

to say Pittsburgh. And

47:07

it deviates from the plot of the film.

47:11

Is what I've been told. How could they do that?

47:13

I don't know what they're thinking with

47:16

the novelization. But those novelizations, like the

47:18

person who writes them sometimes takes pride

47:20

in like, well, I got to change

47:22

a few things. I got to

47:24

put my stamp on it. Plus,

47:27

who was going to really check it? They

47:29

just hand it in. They're happy with that.

47:31

Now it's called the water sign that saves

47:33

Christmas. I

47:36

decided to change it from Pittsburgh to

47:38

Christmas. And I don't like

47:40

people that are Pisces. They

47:47

have a basketball team in the film.

47:49

And they're the Pittsburgh Pisces. Did

47:52

you know that? I did. I

47:55

guess at the beginning of the film, they're the Pythons. And

47:58

then along the way. to get

48:01

good luck because they consult a

48:03

fortune teller who

48:05

tells them that, yeah, she tells them that

48:07

their whole team is a Pisces, I guess.

48:11

And so that's why it's called the fish

48:13

that say Pittsburgh. I think that

48:15

astrology makes the team better. I think there

48:17

was like an ABA team that was the

48:19

Pittsburgh. Pythons. Pythons, yeah.

48:21

But you think they were still a team

48:23

when they made this movie and it probably

48:26

changed the name? They

48:28

did what? Yeah. It might

48:30

have dissolved a lot of people's bank account after that

48:32

one got released. I don't think it did very well.

48:34

This is a movie that now, just the amount of

48:36

looking at it today, just reading about it today that

48:38

I've done, it makes me want to watch it again.

48:40

But I just know. I mean, is

48:42

anybody here a fan of the fish that say

48:44

Pittsburgh? Applaud if you love it. Now,

48:50

applaud if you like ice cream. OK,

48:56

a little more, a little more. Who

48:59

likes Bridges? What's

49:04

the most popular thing around here, Randy, that

49:06

would get everyone to applaud? I mean, Bridges

49:08

was pretty good. Right? Like this town has,

49:10

as Greg and I were talking about earlier,

49:12

there's an ordinary civic pride here, right? So

49:14

like people in Pittsburgh love Pittsburgh. That tells

49:17

you how bad the movie The Fish That

49:19

Save Pittsburgh is. Nobody in Pittsburgh

49:21

gives a shit about that movie. But they

49:23

think Striking Distance is Citizen Kane.

49:31

So because Striking Distance,

49:34

Bruce Willis and Sarah Jessica Parker are

49:36

like boat cops. They're boat

49:39

cops. And they boat around

49:41

on the, I hear there's three

49:43

rivers that go through the area. That's

49:46

what they patrol, is all the Pittsburgh

49:48

rivers. And they break up all sorts

49:50

of international drug transactions that are going

49:52

on and stuff. There's a lot of

49:54

illegal activity, apparently, going on in the

49:57

three rivers. Yeah, I think they probably

49:59

wanted to call it. Pittsburgh Vice, or

50:01

you know, or something, you know, but

50:03

you just once you throw Pittsburgh in

50:05

there, you know, you can't like, be

50:07

like, Oh, what a cool title that

50:09

is. But striking

50:12

distance. What striking

50:14

distance? What is in striking distance of

50:16

what? In the course of that film?

50:19

They're just about I believe to

50:21

strike the

50:24

killer, the Polish Hell Strangler. Oh,

50:26

okay. Because within their,

50:29

he's there with, you know, Oh,

50:31

so why did they just call it within our grass? I

50:36

think it's the crime has to be in striking

50:38

distance to a boat for them to

50:40

catch them. Oh, right.

50:43

Yeah, yeah, you know, you know,

50:46

they're not coming up here to

50:48

Allentown up the hill, which

50:50

they need to. It's

50:53

the Steph Tolev workout

50:56

and really, really sweat

50:59

during it. Okay, so Randy

51:02

figured that first one out. So he's off to

51:04

the races. He's on the board. He's got one

51:06

point. Chris

51:09

Porter. Do

51:11

you remember the premise Big Fish,

51:13

Rumblefish, or Pittsburgh? Yep. Yep.

51:20

You see, speaking

51:23

of Donald Sutherland's butt,

51:25

you see Danny DeVito's

51:27

Naked Butt. Which

51:31

film is that? Big

51:35

Fish. That is correct. Yeah. You'll

51:39

never unsee it once you've seen it. It's

51:42

like, damn, that's a big baby. Is

51:47

this honey I blew up

51:49

the baby? Yeah, it's

51:52

one of them one of the memorable things

51:54

about the Big Fish from 2003. People,

52:01

when you bring that movie up, some people

52:03

just absolutely love it. And

52:05

I've never got the appeal. Have

52:09

you seen it, Craig? Yeah, I remember it being

52:11

a little trippy. It's a little bit of a

52:13

trippy film, isn't it? A little bit. Yeah. But

52:15

it's also like probably the

52:18

dirtiest looking movie that takes place at a

52:20

circus. Like it's got like the circus is

52:23

just sort of like, oh, that circus has

52:25

a layer of dust on it. And

52:28

the cinematography, some people think

52:30

it's beautiful. But I didn't get

52:32

it. Who was the director again? Tim Burton. Oh,

52:34

right, right. A little bit of a departure for

52:37

him, because a lot of it takes place in

52:39

daylight outdoors. Yeah. Right.

52:42

And there's no puppets. Yeah.

52:44

There's nothing to animate necessarily.

52:47

Yeah. I love a lot of

52:49

his stuff, but that one. And also,

52:52

it's a father-son thing. Like

52:55

people that have a relationship with

52:57

their father, they can relate to from

52:59

the movie. Because doesn't he have a hard time

53:02

getting his father's respect in the movie? Yes. Yeah,

53:06

so I think a lot of people relate heavily

53:08

to that aspect of it. Yeah. I

53:11

didn't know any of these movies existed

53:13

until this game started. Wait,

53:16

so Big Fish was really a wild guess?

53:18

Yes. I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because

53:20

that one was supposed to be easy. Everybody

53:22

knows Danny DeVito's in Big Fish. I heard

53:24

in the audience when they were like, he's

53:26

got to know this one. I

53:29

feel like I've walked into a 400-level class in

53:35

a subject I have zero

53:37

knowledge about. And everyone's just like,

53:39

oh, the cinematography. I'm like, yeah,

53:42

right? Yeah,

53:44

it was good. But

53:47

we let you guess, and you could have just

53:49

played it off like you knew. But you're an

53:51

honest person. I am. I

53:53

like people to know my mindset. Well,

53:58

it's especially fascinating to know. as

54:00

we move forward with this game that you

54:02

know nothing about any

54:05

of these films. Except for we've already,

54:07

you know, Randy and I have been yapping

54:10

about all

54:12

of this, so... Oh, no, I feel like Greg

54:14

and I are friends and we

54:16

took, we went on a double date and our

54:19

dates are getting a long better than

54:22

we are with our dates. And Greg

54:25

and I are just looking at each other like,

54:27

should we go do another podcast or something? No,

54:29

you should shut up and eat your salad. How

54:35

many times can he excuse himself and go to

54:37

the bathroom? Porter's

54:39

doing coke again. Okay,

54:43

Greg, you're gonna go first on this one. Oh,

54:45

I was hoping to get that third spot. I

54:47

think you'll figure it out. Okay. Maybe,

54:49

we'll see. Just make your

54:51

best guess. Okay. Which of

54:54

the films, Big Fish, Pittsburgh, Rumblefish

54:56

has this quote in it. Don't

54:59

rub me the wrong way. I'll

55:02

have you rubbed out. Jaws.

55:09

Um, don't rub me the wrong

55:11

way. I'll have you rubbed out. I believe

55:13

that that is... I

55:17

like the way you're setting it up. Like, you're gonna

55:19

tell us the correct answer. A

55:21

fish called Wanda. Don't

55:26

get me started about the fish choices I

55:28

had to make in

55:31

preparing this game. I'm

55:34

gonna say Rumblefish on that one. You're

55:36

going Rumblefish? Yep. Well,

55:38

that is not the answer. That

55:41

is not correct. I got

55:43

so excited. I thought we were gonna

55:45

have a three-way tie, but instead, it

55:47

goes back to Randy. You got two

55:50

choices. Don't rub

55:52

me the wrong way. I'll have you rubbed

55:54

out. Is that from

55:57

which of the two movies that Greg didn't say?

56:00

It sounds corny enough to be

56:02

Fish That Save Pittsburgh. Do

56:04

you think that line is corny? Well, like, I

56:06

could hear it being delivered. I don't know. Do

56:08

you love that line? I'm like, yeah. I'm

56:11

sorry. No, it's brilliant. But, uh.

56:13

Doug's like, I wrote that line. No,

56:17

I definitely think it's dumb. But I

56:19

don't think any of these movies are

56:21

above that line, necessarily. But

56:23

what's your answer again? Fish That Save

56:26

Pittsburgh. That is correct. It is The

56:28

Fish That Save Pittsburgh. Randy's five for

56:30

five. Randy is, well, you know, that's

56:32

not how I add it up. I

56:34

look at him as being two for

56:37

two because he just won the second

56:39

game. And that means, you

56:41

know what that means, Randy

56:44

has to go first. Could be,

56:47

could not possibly work against him. Randy

56:49

has to go first in our next

56:51

and final game that we will play

56:54

after this break. We'll be right back. Whoa!

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back! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

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Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

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Whoa! So much fun during the

57:46

commercial break, as always. And we

57:48

have one game left to play

57:50

today and Randy's gonna

57:52

go first in this game. And

57:55

this is a game where I like to play

57:57

along, so it's gonna go Randy, me, Greg, Chris,

57:59

go around like. that and it's

58:01

something that I call last

58:04

person standing extreme. What's

58:10

so extreme about it you might

58:12

ask? Well our participants

58:15

today have a

58:18

new lifeline that we've just instituted.

58:20

If they need help at some point

58:23

they can call a celebrity. We just

58:25

all have to agree that the person

58:27

they're calling is a celebrity for

58:30

it to happen and you

58:33

know it's pretty loose

58:35

definition of celebrity so we'll see what

58:37

happens. But you also get a normal

58:39

lifeline and that's the person in the

58:41

audience that you chose

58:44

to play on behalf of today and

58:46

the game is simple

58:48

kind of. We're going to get

58:50

three names of actors and actresses

58:52

from those three

58:54

people that you chose to play for.

58:57

Then we're all going to take turns

58:59

naming movies that any of those three

59:01

performers were in. If you can't

59:03

think of one you can go to

59:05

your two lifelines the person

59:07

in the audience or the person on the phone

59:09

to try to stay in the

59:12

game. If you can't think of one you're

59:14

out. Last of

59:16

you three standing will

59:19

win and the person you're playing on behalf

59:21

of will get this prize bag. Did

59:23

you hear what's in the prize bag? Oh

59:25

my god that cocktail napkin. Isn't it wild?

59:28

Yeah. This is

59:30

the weirdest thing to give away and to

59:33

have. If I were them

59:35

I'd probably pass it along it hasn't worked out

59:37

for me. I

59:39

think it's cursed. But yeah

59:42

I also have a yarmulke

59:46

with Rosanne and Tom on it and

59:48

I will not part with that. No.

59:50

No that's that's mine until the end.

59:52

Might even take it with me. Put

59:58

it on me when you cremate me. Okay,

1:00:01

so Like

1:00:03

I said the Actor and

1:00:06

actresses names are going to be chosen by the people

1:00:08

you're playing for Who is

1:00:10

Randy playing for again? He was playing for

1:00:12

Jen her so Jen just

1:00:14

in this first slot I'm going to

1:00:16

give you the option of naming an

1:00:18

actor or an actress Could

1:00:21

be could identify it as

1:00:23

anything Who

1:00:26

would you like to pick? Steve

1:00:28

Buscemi the great Steve Buscemi

1:00:33

Punched in the face on the street recently

1:00:35

and we all Felt terrible

1:00:37

and wished him a quick recovery and it

1:00:39

sounds like he's doing good and it'll

1:00:42

really perk him up to here that we're Using

1:00:45

his name in this game today And

1:00:49

then we'll move on to Greg is playing

1:00:51

for Ron

1:00:53

of the Dead

1:00:58

Sorry, you're playing hard you're playing for Chuck

1:01:00

E. Whore Chuckie. We

1:01:02

need an actress name any actress He

1:01:07

loves Jamie Lee Curtis So

1:01:11

he's going Jamie Lee Curtis That

1:01:14

was Greg's

1:01:17

right. Yeah, Jamie Lee. Okay You

1:01:20

know what Chris is playing for

1:01:22

Ron of the Dead. What do you got

1:01:24

Ron another actress? Julianne

1:01:28

Moore you really

1:01:30

don't want to help these guys do you I'm

1:01:33

gonna say can I look her up? I Mean

1:01:36

she might be single you can go ahead and try

1:01:41

When you get back to LA now, she's married to

1:01:43

a director who's directed a couple of her films. I

1:01:45

said too much All right

1:01:49

I don't think I could think of the names of the

1:01:51

films that her husband directed but she's been in a lot

1:01:53

of stuff So that's the game

1:01:56

is those three actors Buscemi

1:01:58

Jamie Lee Curtis Amy Lee Curtis

1:02:01

and Julianne

1:02:03

Moore, any

1:02:06

of their movies, as long as you can name

1:02:08

one, you're still in. Like I

1:02:10

said, I like to play along, so Randy, start

1:02:12

us off, and then I'll go second. Big

1:02:16

Lebowski. The Big

1:02:18

Lebowski featuring Steve Bechary. I

1:02:23

didn't know if you wanted me to finish

1:02:25

it. And Julianne

1:02:27

Moore. Yeah. That's the

1:02:29

actual double that I don't

1:02:31

know how often that's going to happen, but you got

1:02:36

that. Okay, so

1:02:38

I'm going to go... I

1:02:40

tried, Greg, to go more obscure. Good.

1:02:43

To kind of help everybody out, not make

1:02:45

it hard for everybody. So I'm going to

1:02:47

say Halloween. Halloween

1:02:51

II. That's

1:02:57

what I was driving at. Thank

1:03:00

you. Chris. True lies.

1:03:03

That's right. Randy.

1:03:09

I'm trying to think tactic. Right?

1:03:12

Like should stay rare and go with the broad

1:03:14

brush ones. I am holding on for dear life.

1:03:18

Bart and Fink. Yeah, don't say anything

1:03:20

that Chris might say. I'm

1:03:25

going to go with just

1:03:28

another obscure one that rarely

1:03:30

gets mentioned. In fact,

1:03:32

when it comes up, sometimes people are confused. It's

1:03:35

Korean, I think. Everything everywhere,

1:03:37

I don't know what. Halloween

1:03:42

III. Dude,

1:03:45

slow down. Slow

1:03:48

your roll, buddy. Save them? Yeah,

1:03:50

you're rubbing me the wrong way. I don't want to have to rub

1:03:52

you out. Miss

1:03:56

Curtis is not in the third film

1:03:58

in the series. In

1:04:00

fact, she, oh, shush you. Is

1:04:05

that true though? Is that a real trivia fact?

1:04:09

What does her voice show up on the TV? Oh,

1:04:13

look, it's even Chucky coming in with

1:04:15

that. My partner! With that fucking business.

1:04:17

Making sure I don't lose. But

1:04:20

here's the bad news, Chucky. Is

1:04:23

that he's not saying

1:04:26

the title correctly. And you know, we

1:04:28

do need the correct title. So that's

1:04:30

another reason why you might want to

1:04:32

move on from Halloween. All right. I'm

1:04:34

going to go with Raising Arizona. Yeah.

1:04:38

Which one's in that? I

1:04:40

mean Fargo. Chris,

1:04:50

how are you doing? You hanging in? Con Air.

1:04:53

Yeah, Steve Buscemi. Yeah, yeah. Nice. Thank

1:04:55

you. Oh, I wonder what Randy's going

1:04:57

to say next. Trading places. Oh.

1:05:02

I'm sorry. Yay. Halloween

1:05:09

three season of the witch. Ghost

1:05:14

world. Buscemi,

1:05:16

you're killing it with the Buscemi. Holy

1:05:19

shit. You're a Buscemi machine

1:05:22

over there. Oh, so he's

1:05:24

going. Chris is going to his

1:05:26

lifeline, Ron. Ron,

1:05:28

you could go strategic here if you want. But

1:05:30

what's your answer? Body

1:05:33

of evidence. Body of evidence.

1:05:35

Was that Madonna? Oh,

1:05:38

shit. And which Julianne

1:05:40

Moore's in it. Holy crap. Oh, I thought

1:05:42

of a good obscure Julianne Moore. Randy,

1:05:46

is he here? Wait, whose turn is it? I

1:05:50

just went. OK, Randy. Boogie Nights. Yes.

1:05:58

I got so many things in my head. now

1:06:00

but are you what are you

1:06:02

looking at your oh okay Chris is looking up

1:06:05

people to call for a second

1:06:07

I was just like oh he's just fucking opening

1:06:09

up IMDB have

1:06:17

we said this in regards to Jamie

1:06:19

Lee fish cold Wanda no ha

1:06:22

ha ha I was sitting on that yeah oh

1:06:24

you were yep look at

1:06:26

you over there sitting on names wait

1:06:30

now you're pulling out your phone okay so you

1:06:32

want to call somebody or do you

1:06:38

want to use your lifeline in the room oh I

1:06:41

can do a lifeline in the room or or

1:06:43

the phone yeah you got Chucky or that

1:06:45

and you know in the next round you

1:06:47

could call somebody no Chucky's fucking because Chucky's

1:06:50

Chucky's gonna hook you up for sure talk to

1:06:52

me Chucky we

1:06:54

have not said prom night yet prom

1:06:56

night night go somebody

1:06:59

wants a napkin I'm

1:07:02

gonna I'm gonna make

1:07:04

a call okay

1:07:07

who do you want to call I'm

1:07:09

gonna call Jonathan Kite oh I love

1:07:12

it comedian he was

1:07:14

on that really awful

1:07:16

sitcom donut

1:07:18

shop two broke girls two

1:07:20

broke girls he was also on a I

1:07:22

wrote on a sketch show on Fox with

1:07:25

Jamie Fox that he was a star of

1:07:27

he was very talented a lot of characters

1:07:30

I just like I've always liked the name

1:07:32

Jonathan Kite yeah it's got a good sound

1:07:34

to it yeah and you

1:07:37

could tell him to go fly himself this

1:07:42

is exciting it's gonna go to his voice he's

1:07:45

so he's so good that he's working right now

1:07:48

you just say call me right back and hang out we'll see

1:07:50

what happens I get a call you a

1:07:52

friend who's smart but doesn't work a lot

1:07:55

your call has been forwarded to voicemail the

1:07:57

person you're trying to reach is not available

1:08:00

At the tone, please record your message. When

1:08:02

you have finished recording, you may hang up.

1:08:05

Hey, dude, it's Porter, and I'm on

1:08:07

Doug Loves Movies, and I needed your

1:08:10

help, and you... Well,

1:08:12

here I am in voicemail,

1:08:14

so... Thanks. Thanks. Thanks for

1:08:16

nothing, Jonathan. It'd

1:08:19

be so funny if, like, I called

1:08:21

Jonathan on mine, and he answered me.

1:08:24

Just like Fitzy! I'm

1:08:27

not doing a goddamn thing! You

1:08:30

know, just try to call me Porter,

1:08:32

that fucking asshole. Do

1:08:35

you have his number, Greg? Yeah. Let's call

1:08:37

him. No,

1:08:40

it's, you know... But then ask on

1:08:42

Chris's behalf, because he's his lifeline. I

1:08:46

know, I don't have his number, I thought I'd

1:08:48

ask. Who's cool now?

1:08:50

Oh, well... Let's get out

1:08:52

of here. Is

1:08:55

Steve Simian in Reservoir Dogs? Sure

1:08:58

is. Oh, he is. Whoo!

1:09:03

Mr. Pink... You're

1:09:08

thinking, because of strategy, you're not thinking,

1:09:10

because you can't think of one. Trees

1:09:12

Lounge. Yes. He directed

1:09:14

that, Steve Bushami. But,

1:09:19

you know, I feel like I can take this

1:09:21

one down, because not

1:09:23

to be too insulting, but you guys are

1:09:26

just a bunch of airheads. Oh...

1:09:31

I think you're blowing a lot of smoke,

1:09:34

Doug. What? Is

1:09:36

it what we call... Is it because you're having a smoke? Sure. It

1:09:39

was about a cigar shop. A bunch of you guys have hung out

1:09:41

at a cigar shop. I like it. Wasn't he in that? Sure. Harvey

1:09:44

Keitel. Yeah, with Harvey Keitel. Yeah, thank

1:09:46

you. It's getting more real every moment.

1:09:49

No, I like it when, you know,

1:09:56

I don't use any source to verify. Okay. So

1:09:58

it's just like... based on, you know, it's like

1:10:00

if we were playing a game

1:10:02

at somebody's house and we didn't have internet. And

1:10:05

to the best of my knowledge, you sound

1:10:08

correct. Yes. And I like that.

1:10:10

Because if you're wrong, and I find out about it

1:10:12

later, it's funny that you got it past me. Chris,

1:10:14

did you think of another one? It's

1:10:18

Steve Buscemi and Reservoir Dogs. I was so

1:10:20

excited. I felt you were gonna

1:10:27

say a different one. I'm

1:10:30

gonna say

1:10:33

the holiday

1:10:36

because why

1:10:39

not? That

1:10:41

movie was Jack Black, Jude Law, Kate

1:10:43

Winslet, and Cameron D'Arnes. Pretty sure Julianne

1:10:45

Morrison in it too. She

1:10:48

walks in the back. She's one of the inn

1:10:51

keepers. Julianne Morrison

1:10:54

is some interesting ones. Maybe we'll

1:10:58

get to them. But thank you for trying,

1:11:00

Chris Porter. Do I leave? No, hang out.

1:11:02

Hang out. You

1:11:06

still get to do your, you know, plug your

1:11:08

stuff at the end. And anytime

1:11:10

you have anything to say, please, please

1:11:12

join in. But if you would rather just watch

1:11:14

stuff on your phone, that's cool. I

1:11:19

had texts I was seeing if it was Jonathan

1:11:21

Kite saying, Oh, did he text

1:11:23

you back? New phone who dis? But

1:11:28

it was not. It was my family group

1:11:30

chat. They were

1:11:32

laughing at a meme. Do

1:11:37

you ever have to step in and go, I'm a

1:11:39

professional and that's not funny. The

1:11:43

best was my uncle made a cunt joke and

1:11:45

my aunt left it. She left, you know, like

1:11:47

if you're in a group chat, it says like

1:11:49

this person is left. And then

1:11:53

someone let her back in just so she

1:11:55

could ask that same uncle a question. And

1:11:58

I got on another group chat with all.

1:12:00

my cousins and was like, how funny would

1:12:02

it be if he dropped another kunchuk right

1:12:04

now? Randy?

1:12:10

Magnolia. Mm-hmm. Yeah,

1:12:12

I was surprised that

1:12:15

when Boogie Nights came up that didn't

1:12:18

follow right behind. All right,

1:12:20

so this is an interesting one for

1:12:22

Julianne Moore because she plays a

1:12:24

circus clown. Could

1:12:27

be a different kind of clown. I'm not committing her to

1:12:29

the circus, but she's a clown in

1:12:31

full clown makeup who fucks

1:12:33

Tim Meadows in, uh...

1:12:38

Oh shit. Uh,

1:12:43

the single man. Is

1:12:46

that right? Ladies man? Ladies

1:12:48

man. Shit, ladies man. You're out.

1:12:51

I'm out. Who you calling, Greg?

1:12:53

I'm gonna call a gentleman named

1:12:55

Judd Apatow. Oh shit. You

1:13:00

can't possibly pick up. He's

1:13:02

producing multiple films right

1:13:04

now. How

1:13:09

come Chris's was so crisp

1:13:11

and yours sounds dooky? I

1:13:20

think you should text

1:13:22

me. Is that his

1:13:24

outgoing message? Judd,

1:13:27

is that your outgoing message or are you talking to

1:13:29

me? Oh

1:13:32

that's it. Yeah, really,

1:13:34

he either says that angrily or it's

1:13:36

his outgoing message. Do

1:13:40

you want to text him? If

1:13:44

I text him, I'd probably be like, you should write me

1:13:46

a letter. Um,

1:13:50

I'm gonna... Let me guess one more. Julianne

1:13:52

Moore, wasn't she in like a merchant ivory

1:13:55

period piece or something? She seems like she

1:13:57

should be, right? She should have been. Elizabeth.

1:14:01

No. OK. That

1:14:03

was Kate Blanchett. So don't even try to say

1:14:05

Elizabeth, too. But

1:14:08

thank you for playing. Thanks for having me. Randy, do

1:14:10

you have one more just to, you know, pour

1:14:13

some salt in it? I

1:14:16

mean, yeah,

1:14:18

Buscemi should be easy. I

1:14:20

feel like Julianne Moore and Buscemi, you could just go, like,

1:14:23

all PT Anderson for Julianne Moore,

1:14:25

and you could just go all

1:14:27

Collins for Buscemi. We went through

1:14:29

a lot of the problems. You don't have to be a dick

1:14:31

about it. You can just win the game. You don't have to

1:14:33

tell us how fucking easy it is. Here's

1:14:36

how you could have won, Chris. Ever see an

1:14:38

Adam Sandler movie? Buscemi's in most of them. Yeah,

1:14:40

all of them. Yeah. I was going to say

1:14:42

Billy Madison. But not everyone, though. So it's a

1:14:44

minefield. It is tricky. But what

1:14:46

do you got, Randy? Billy Madison. What's your

1:14:49

final one? Billy Madison. Very good. That's probably

1:14:51

the first Buscemi Sandler

1:14:53

collab. And Buscemi's

1:14:56

just been in

1:14:58

every other one, at least, ever since. Right?

1:15:01

He's been in a bunch of them. I think all

1:15:03

of them. Seems like it. At least

1:15:05

like a cameo or something like that. He's always

1:15:07

got really great character actors that just want to

1:15:09

come in and just fucking be ridiculous. Like,

1:15:12

Al Pacino in a Sandler movie is

1:15:14

just insane. How he

1:15:16

just shows up and is just, like, so into it.

1:15:19

So over the top. Hwah!

1:15:23

All right. Congratulations, Randy. Bobby

1:15:25

is our winner today.

1:15:27

He did it. Against

1:15:30

all odds. I

1:15:33

don't know how he made it happen. But

1:15:38

congratulations to go to

1:15:40

Jen Her for winning.

1:15:43

We did it, Jen. Yay! We did it.

1:15:49

Don't get your nose too close to that napkin.

1:15:51

You might start to feel cold

1:15:53

a little later. Is

1:15:57

your relationship solid? Why do I love this

1:15:59

napkin? I just love the napkin. I just love

1:16:01

the napkin. It smells so good. All

1:16:04

right, Randy, let's do your, what

1:16:06

do you want to promote? What are your

1:16:08

plugs? Not the DV morning show. I mean,

1:16:11

a lot of people here know what that's

1:16:13

all about. We've been having another great year.

1:16:15

The DV Comedy Festival wraps up with this

1:16:17

show, man. So thanks for being a part

1:16:19

of it every fucking year, by the way.

1:16:21

Hey, wait here. Hey.

1:16:23

I know that. 10 years. 10

1:16:26

years. How profoundly appreciative you are to

1:16:28

be that the ending point

1:16:30

on it, every single one of these. I was

1:16:32

talking to Sarah Tiana last night, just reminding her

1:16:35

who was on the time she did it over

1:16:37

at the Rex. And she was just like, this

1:16:39

is all news to me that I did this

1:16:41

and these people were on it. It

1:16:44

was Burt and Brad Williams and

1:16:46

Sarah Tiana. Yeah, and Aaron Clyber

1:16:48

and... That was a way better

1:16:50

show than this one. And Brad...

1:16:54

Brad Williams popped in and... Chad

1:16:57

is for a little bit. That's

1:16:59

what he does. Brad just pops in. He

1:17:01

doesn't really... He's not gonna

1:17:03

break the door down. He's

1:17:07

a dwarf for those years. Yeah,

1:17:11

he's the first one to know that. So... I

1:17:17

still can't do it much

1:17:19

in his presence, the jokes,

1:17:21

you know, because I still... Even though he

1:17:23

says he's fine with it, it's still wild

1:17:25

how badly you want to make

1:17:27

jokes. Oh, me, Kim, Andrew, Santino, and Jimmy Schubert

1:17:29

went and had lunch and Brad went and took

1:17:32

a phone call. And when he came back, we

1:17:34

had a high chair at his... Oh,

1:17:36

no. And

1:17:41

he just walked in and he's like, that's a good one. That's

1:17:43

a good one. Every time I introduce him at the comedy

1:17:45

store, I put the mic stand up to my sixth beat.

1:17:48

Oh, God damn it. You guys are terrible.

1:17:50

I'm pulling it down. Yeah. Every

1:17:53

chair I sit in is a high chair. So what would

1:17:55

you like to... Want

1:18:00

to promote some stuff, Chris Porter? I

1:18:02

have a special on YouTube I would like

1:18:05

you to watch called There's

1:18:07

No Money in Babies. And

1:18:09

you just go, there's no YouTube search, there's

1:18:16

no money in babies. And

1:18:18

I'm the first thing that pops up. Right

1:18:21

after Brad Williams? The second thing is like a sex

1:18:23

trafficking thing. It'd

1:18:26

be cool if you watch that. And

1:18:28

other than that,

1:18:31

I'm coming to a funny bone

1:18:33

near you slash improv.

1:18:37

So if you have a comedy

1:18:39

club in a mall, I'll

1:18:41

be there. You

1:18:44

like chicken fingers

1:18:47

and apple spritzes? Go see Chris

1:18:49

Porter. Oh, yeah. Do

1:18:51

you need to return an item but also

1:18:53

need something to do? Fucking

1:18:55

Chris Porter. It's

1:18:58

one stop shopping. I

1:19:00

love it. Greg Fitzsimmons. Well,

1:19:04

it's really almost pulled off a miracle here

1:19:06

today. Getting skunked?

1:19:08

Yeah. There's

1:19:11

been miracles in the past, Doug. It's true.

1:19:14

Fitzdog Radio is the podcast. And then

1:19:16

I'm doing live dates later

1:19:19

this summer in Denver, Alaska,

1:19:23

and Austin, and somewhere else.

1:19:25

Go to fitsdog.com for tickets.

1:19:27

Thank you, guys. Yeah!

1:19:32

Fitzdog! Douglas

1:19:36

Movies is back at Helium in

1:19:38

Portland, Oregon on Saturday, July 20.

1:19:43

And our annual San Diego Comic

1:19:45

Con, Douglas Movies, is going to

1:19:48

be at the American Comedy Company

1:19:50

on Wednesday night, July 24. Some

1:19:54

people know that that's where the eagle is on

1:19:56

stage at all times. Very well-lit

1:19:58

eagle. I

1:22:02

swear doesn't he like have a line of dialogue

1:22:04

with the love interest in the film or is

1:22:07

she not on the aircraft carrier? She's just not

1:22:09

there. She's the trainer. Yeah so she's gone like

1:22:11

we don't really care what happens to her in

1:22:13

fact we're gonna keep that going. Actually she turns

1:22:16

into an old lesbian. In

1:22:18

the sequel? Well Kelly McGillis. Oh

1:22:22

the actress? The actress turned into like

1:22:25

a fair

1:22:27

founder. Like

1:22:31

she did it like a magic

1:22:33

trick she like had a formal

1:22:36

life just a formal presentation. The

1:22:38

80s were crazy bro. Let's

1:22:40

be clear that was a love story between

1:22:42

Val Kilmer and Tom Cress. Right that's I

1:22:45

guess what is being said here. That is

1:22:47

the gayest movie of all. I mean going

1:22:49

back and looking at you like yeah this

1:22:51

is pretty homoerotic. This volleyball

1:22:53

scene is not necessary in

1:22:56

the least. Yeah no during that

1:22:58

scene Tom Cruise is checking his watch like is

1:23:00

it how that I had my shirt off long

1:23:02

enough this could be more just gratuitous. One

1:23:05

more hour of gay stuff and then I gotta go

1:23:08

be straight. I

1:23:10

gotta get this oil off of me to

1:23:12

have a hetero sex scene with somebody who's

1:23:14

gonna become an old lesbian. Dude if I

1:23:16

was ever playing beach volleyball with two dudes

1:23:18

and one of them flexed down on me

1:23:20

I'd be like game's over I'm leaving. Although

1:23:22

we were just having fun here. See

1:23:25

you later showboat. All

1:23:30

right well I've got my final line

1:23:32

for the episode today. Thank you to

1:23:34

the Bottle Rocket Social Hall. A

1:23:36

great place to

1:23:39

entertain your face. I just wrote

1:23:41

that slogan. A great place

1:23:43

to entertain your face with

1:23:46

drinks and hot dogs and laughter

1:23:49

and let's do it for all of

1:23:51

my guests tonight. Randy Bauman. Chris

1:23:54

Porter. Greg

1:23:56

Fitzsimmons. Fitzdog.

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