Episode Transcript
Transcripts are displayed as originally observed. Some content, including advertisements may have changed.
Use Ctrl + F to search
0:01
It's time to commit. 2024
0:04
is the year for prioritizing yourself. Begin
0:06
your new smile journey with Byte, and you
0:08
could start seeing results in just two to
0:11
three weeks. Just order your at-home impression kit
0:13
today for only $14.95 at byte.com. Byte
0:17
clear aligners are doctor-directed and delivered
0:19
to your door. Treatment costs thousands
0:22
less than braces. Plus, they offer
0:24
financing options, accept eligible insurance, and
0:26
you can pay with your HSA
0:29
FSA. Get 80% off your. Man,
0:41
that sunset is gorgeous. Grill,
0:44
patio, sunset? Hard to get better
0:46
than that. Unless you're browsing Carvana's
0:48
inventory while you soak it all
0:50
in. Oh, burger
0:52
time. So sit back, get comfortable.
0:54
Carvana's got thousands of cars under $20,000 just waiting
0:57
for you. I
0:59
could stay here forever. Carvana.
1:02
Where car buying meets comfort
1:04
meets convenience. Download the app
1:06
or visit carvana.com today. Hey,
2:08
hey, hey everybody, my name is
2:10
Doug and I love movies. Coming
2:15
to you once again from the Bottle
2:18
Rocket Social Hall in Pittsburgh,
2:20
Pennsylvania. As
2:26
part of the WDVE Radio
2:28
Comedy Festival, which has been
2:31
a thing I understand
2:33
for 10 years. I'm
2:40
not sure how many years I've been a part
2:42
of it. I think maybe four or five, but
2:44
I will get the exact number possibly from
2:46
one of my guests today. It's
2:49
my second time here at the
2:51
very cool and popular Bottle Rocket
2:53
Social Hall. I know the best
2:55
places to come if you want
2:57
to have many cop cars parked
2:59
outside. I
3:02
said at least a dozen or I'm not
3:04
there and I think they
3:06
overdid it. I think there's 15 to
3:09
20 cop cars out there and
3:11
I didn't have a chance to count them all
3:13
because they were looking at me funny. Last
3:17
year's festival was in July and it
3:19
was hot as fuck. This
3:22
year they moved it up to June and it's still
3:24
pretty hot as fuck. It's
3:27
pretty comfortable in here today
3:29
so far. Good
3:31
job, Bottle Rocket. It's Saturday, June 22nd, 2024.
3:33
Let's do some plugs. Come
3:38
on plugs up, plugs up, plugs
3:40
up. Okay, settle down. Spokane,
3:44
Washington. I'm doing stand up next
3:46
weekend, June 28th and 29th at
3:48
the Spokane Comedy Club with special
3:51
guest Jeff Tate. Jeff
3:53
Tate, David Tate, David Tate.
3:57
I thought that might happen. This
4:00
and movie interruption is back at Dynasty Typewriter
4:02
in LA on Tuesday, July 2nd, and I'm
4:04
doing a Dabbs Day show of
4:07
stand-up comedy with some friends
4:09
on July 10th at the
4:11
punchline in Sacramento, California. For
4:14
all my dates and deeds,
4:16
go to douglovesmovies.com. That's
4:19
douglovesmovies.com! Yeah!
4:22
Good job! Wallet! Shhhhhh! Hey,
4:26
dancing! Oh
4:29
my god. Possibly
4:32
best audience of the year. Or
4:39
worst audience if you dislike cults.
4:43
If you're afraid of cults, that
4:46
was pretty scary sounding, but it's
4:48
all in good fun. Let's take a
4:50
look in the prize bag, shall we?
4:53
I made
4:56
a legal weed purchase in
4:58
New York City. When you're
5:00
in New York City now, some of the weed
5:02
places have a big sign on them saying, we've
5:04
been closed because we're not legal. And
5:07
then other ones are open, so that's
5:09
how you can tell which ones you can shop in.
5:11
It's the ones where they let you in. This
5:15
was a place called Nichols. This is
5:17
the really nice gift bag thing they gave
5:19
me. I just bought like an eighth of
5:21
weed and they gave me this
5:23
beautiful bag. And they also gave me,
5:25
I'm paying it forward, a
5:27
Nichols rolling tray. Yeah.
5:31
Somebody gave me a shirt recently. You
5:34
know, I often give them re-gift shirts
5:36
because they don't fit me. But
5:38
this one, I just don't like what it says on
5:41
it. It just looks
5:43
like a misspelling of my name, so
5:45
that's something I'm going to wear out
5:48
in public. It fell out when
5:50
I was fishing through the stuff.
5:52
I hope it's not anything too good. I
5:55
think it was one of the pins. I've got pins
5:57
to say, Doug loves movies. And another one says, Doug
5:59
Benson on TV. but you have to be able to
6:01
find it. I think it
6:03
fell in the cracks here on the stage. And
6:06
so it'll be a little bit of a
6:08
mission to try to get that
6:10
back. I know some of you are saying,
6:12
wow, that's what an amazing prize bag. Is
6:15
it possible that it could get any better, or is
6:17
that it? Oh,
6:20
there's the Doug Benson pin. So I don't know
6:23
what the hell sounded like it
6:25
fell over there. But this
6:28
is something that I have more than one of. I
6:30
don't have a lot. I just kept one
6:32
for myself, and I'm giving one away now, because
6:35
it's just such a weird thing that I have. And
6:37
what's the point of having two of them? The one
6:39
I have, it's just sitting in a
6:42
box somewhere. And it's
6:44
just there. I just know that I have it.
6:47
But it's still just an interesting thing for
6:50
just a random person to now own. When
6:55
Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold got
6:57
married, I
7:02
went. I was a guest
7:04
of someone that knew them a lot
7:06
better than me. I was their guest
7:09
at the wedding. It was across the street from
7:11
where I lived at the time. And
7:14
it was in a synagogue. And
7:16
we even got, I'll never give up
7:19
my yarmulke that says Tom and Roseanne
7:21
on it. But this
7:23
is straight up, this is real. I don't
7:25
know if it's worth anything. But
7:28
this is a cocktail napkin
7:31
from the reception that says Roseanne
7:33
and Tom, June 23, 1991. First
7:44
I'm going to blow my nose with it, and then I'm going to
7:46
put it, no. It's still
7:48
in semi-pristine condition. Someone's
7:51
going to win that today. The
7:54
stakes have hardly ever been higher. And
7:57
I've got three great guests. that
8:00
are ready to go, had to had to try to
8:02
win for somebody in the audience. Are you ready to
8:04
meet my guests? Yeah. Yeah.
8:07
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They
8:10
all killed it last night
8:12
at the Biome Theater as
8:14
part of the WDVE Comedy
8:16
Festival. Please give a big
8:18
warm welcome to Randy Bauman,
8:20
Greg Fitzsimmons, and Chris Porter.
8:23
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
8:26
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
8:28
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
8:31
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
8:34
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
8:38
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
8:41
Yeah. Hey, fellas. Hello.
8:43
Fun colors on the microphones, huh? Oh,
8:46
I didn't even notice that until you
8:48
all picked him up. Yeah. It just
8:50
looks like we're all holding
8:53
Muppets genitalia. Yeah.
8:55
Yeah. Yeah. Like that.
8:58
Sort of Muppet bukkake. Yeah.
9:01
I've got a Cookie Monster. Randy has Kermit. Yours
9:04
would be Elmo. Elmo. And yellow would be?
9:06
Am I Bert? Or yeah,
9:08
Bert. Big Bert. Or Big Bert. Or Big
9:10
Bert. You're more like Big Bert. That's
9:13
fair. Yeah, just in general. Well,
9:15
let's meet everybody in
9:18
alphabetical order by
9:21
first name. So our first guest
9:23
I'm going to introduce tonight is
9:26
Chris Porter, everybody. Thanks.
9:29
Thanks. I
9:34
had a corny introduction for you. I was going
9:36
to say he's not in Kansas anymore. Oh,
9:39
yeah. Because you're a known Kansan. Yeah,
9:42
one of my specials is called A
9:44
Man from Kansas. Yeah. Yeah. Which
9:46
they've obviously seen by
9:49
the amount of laughter from the joke.
9:52
The applause. The
9:54
recognition applause. Overwhelming. But
9:58
yeah. So. So
10:00
that's why I was going to introduce you with
10:02
Kansan. But I do think
10:06
that Kansan Chris is kind of
10:08
a fun, if
10:10
you need a nickname at some point, or
10:12
a wrestling name. I'll put it
10:15
on the list of possibilities. You got a
10:17
list? If I ever make
10:19
one. Well,
10:21
thank you for being here. Do you have fun last
10:23
night? I had a blast last night. You
10:26
know, it's a great show with great comics.
10:29
And make beautiful theater. If
10:32
you're not enjoying one of the comics, you can just enjoy
10:34
the architecture. Like, there's
10:36
sculptures in the architecture. Like,
10:38
there's art built into the
10:40
walls. Naked. Yeah, I love
10:42
continuity. I love voluptuous sculptures.
10:44
Yeah. Yeah. That's really fancy.
10:46
In Pittsburgh, the cultural trust
10:48
paid to maintain and
10:51
restore all those old theaters.
10:53
Because before Carnegie died,
10:55
he felt bad about
10:58
shooting everybody's great grandparents who
11:00
were striking in Homestead. So he left the
11:02
trust to make sure that we always had
11:04
nice theaters and libraries and stuff like that.
11:06
Does anyone else feel like they're on a
11:08
segue right now? I
11:12
know I want to move on to something else. Nicely
11:16
known. Nicely known. I feel like we were on
11:18
a tour. Yo,
11:21
that was a great bit of business, but speak
11:23
when spoken to. We
11:29
had a great time having you at the festival
11:31
again this year. Oh, thank you so much. It's
11:34
always a great time. I popped in for a
11:36
few minutes last night on stage at the biome
11:38
just to get that, you know, it's just fun
11:40
to just pop in a big
11:42
theater show. You're a surprise guest. Yeah. You were
11:44
like, all right. There's a surprise, because like, why
11:47
would I, you know, why? You
11:49
know, so some
11:52
of us will see that guy tomorrow at the bottle
11:54
rocket. We don't need him tonight. But I
11:57
just flew in, did a quick
11:59
five. Yeah, it's kind of like when
12:01
Incidentally appeared in a rap song in the 2000s.
12:05
Like, we don't need him, but
12:07
we're glad he's here. It's exactly
12:09
like that. Randy, another fun fact,
12:11
quick. How about video? I learned
12:14
my lesson. There's
12:16
no lesson to learn. I'm just being an
12:18
a-hole. Because do you hear how
12:20
they laugh at it? They enjoy that sort of
12:23
business. And I like to give the people what
12:25
they want. But
12:27
your last in alphabetical order by first
12:29
name, it's a total... It's
12:32
actually all three of you. It's a
12:34
complete flip to probably what you're used
12:36
to in your lives. Because alphabetical order
12:38
is usually by last name. But GF,
12:40
they're right crowded there together. So
12:42
I don't know how often that
12:45
comes into play. For Greg Fitzsimmons!
12:48
Thank you. Thank you very
12:50
much. Now,
12:54
how much fun did you have last night getting to
12:56
see Chris Porter? You
12:59
know, honestly, I feel like some people
13:01
are great at clubs. And
13:04
I saw Chris last night as a guy who really knew how
13:06
to play a theater. He really
13:09
fucking nailed it. He
13:13
left the mic in the stand and just brought them
13:15
into him and just pounded it out. It
13:17
was great. I enjoyed it. So you're saying he
13:19
was hard to follow? He was hard to follow.
13:23
I think I did follow you. I
13:25
think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't even
13:27
remember. That stuff doesn't matter to you. I
13:30
don't follow anybody any time. Honestly, we
13:32
were all watching the hockey game. Anybody
13:35
watched the hockey game last night? We
13:37
had it on our phones. And so we
13:39
were kind of splitting our attention between the
13:41
other comedians and watching one of the most
13:43
exciting hockey games in years. I'm sure everybody
13:45
at the baseball game had the hockey game
13:47
on their phones. I'm sure they did. Because
13:50
that was a bit of a blue out,
13:52
which I hate to see because I like
13:54
the town to be in a good mood.
13:56
Yes. When the stadium's right there
13:58
in the middle of the city, you want... You
14:00
want everybody to be happy. Yeah,
14:03
it's a beautiful city. There's a lot of
14:05
bridges. Randy, you got
14:07
a fun fact about bridges? The
14:10
reason there's so many bridges is because there's
14:12
so many rivers. In fact, three
14:15
of them in our downtown area. Now,
14:17
if you'll follow me to the next road. Hang
14:19
on, hang on. That's a bridge too far. Movie
14:24
reference. OK, so Greg,
14:27
thank you for being here. Thank you for
14:29
having me, Doug. Today, this
14:31
place has turned out to be, I think,
14:33
very comfortable. I was worried
14:36
that me and my guests might be a little warm, but
14:39
it feels great in here. And
14:42
I know you're going to have plenty of time
14:44
to be uncomfortable later when you get on Burt
14:47
Kreischer's tour bus. Bus
14:49
is. He's got two buses. Oh, so you
14:51
might not be in the same bus as Burt? No.
14:53
There's like eight comics,
14:56
I think. So there's like two sets of
14:58
books. There's a
15:00
bunch of bunk beds in each bus. And then
15:02
Burt has a suite in the back of. It
15:04
takes up half the bus. Yeah, probably a Jacuzzi.
15:06
It's got a Jacuzzi back there. There's
15:08
a wet bar. Sorry,
15:10
I didn't mean to step up on your joke. That's
15:13
fine. I mean, you're more of a theater act. This
15:17
is more of a bar. This is like a row house.
15:20
This is where Greg shines. This
15:22
is my. Sit down, theater boy.
15:28
Save your bows for after Act Two. All
15:32
right, so who do you have to
15:34
bunk with, do you know? Do they
15:36
tell you? I think me and Henchcliffe are
15:38
the smallest guys on the bus, so it'll
15:40
probably be me and him. Spooning, reverse spooning,
15:42
forking. Well, you're the only ones that have
15:44
to share a bunk? Is that what you're
15:46
trying to say? So little. I see. OK.
15:50
Well, you're only going to Buffalo, and then you're
15:52
off. It's not like you're going on a long
15:54
bus tour, right? No, I did that with him
15:56
a couple weeks ago. We hit a bunch of
15:59
dates and. You really just go to
16:01
your, after three days, you go, I
16:04
don't need to change clothes. Because
16:06
your suitcase is underneath the bus, you
16:08
gotta open this giant door, and
16:11
your bunk is just like, it's like a
16:13
cadaver. Like it's like when they pull out
16:15
the drawer. You're all vampires. Yeah, you're vampires,
16:17
and you just go like, you know, how
16:19
dirty am I? I'm fine. Can
16:22
you sleep on an overnight when the bus
16:24
is going? Better than I sleep in a
16:26
bed. It kind of rocks you a little
16:28
bit, and there's like the humming of the
16:30
engine. I totally agree on cruise ships and
16:33
in planes, but something about a bus to
16:35
me, I'm just like, if that one driver
16:37
nods off, we're all fucked. Like what a
16:39
horrible way to be in an accident, to
16:41
be in a car on a bus. Well
16:45
there's two guys, arguably, or a lady could
16:47
be in there. Let's
16:50
not get ahead of ourselves. Well you
16:53
only know that if it's like, Or
16:55
two ladies. There's other planes honking behind
16:57
you, then you know that
16:59
there's a woman. But
17:03
anyway, I didn't mean to get into a whole
17:05
thing about transportation, but I'm sure Randy has something
17:07
to say about it. Oddly
17:09
enough, rail car was the main way to
17:12
transport one another up and down the huge
17:14
hills here in Pittsburgh for many years. Yeah,
17:18
speaking of the huge hills, so Chris
17:21
and Greg are experiencing, you came
17:24
from a hotel somewhere in Pittsburgh
17:26
to this venue
17:28
and you saw how
17:30
the road was windy and went up quite
17:32
a bit to get here, right? Last
17:35
year, Steph Tolev walked to
17:38
this gate. No she didn't. She
17:40
fucking walked. What? I got here
17:42
all sweaty and like, I didn't
17:44
expect it to be like that.
17:46
Yeah. Yeah. It
17:50
was pretty awesome, but it was, it
17:53
really hot, like wet hot day. Yeah.
17:56
And she was on Bert's tour bus and didn't shower.
17:59
Oh really? That's true. Okay. All
18:02
right, so let's
18:04
meet the man who, he's the
18:07
one that first invited me to
18:09
participate in this festival, Break Doug
18:11
Loves Movies, to the DV Comedy
18:14
Festival. Give it up, everybody, for
18:16
Randy Bauman, everybody. Whoo! And
18:20
this is the tenth one you've done.
18:23
No way. I was up here guessing. I think
18:25
I've done it four or five times. This
18:28
is ten, I've done ten of them, and you've
18:30
done ten of them. So I've been in it from the
18:32
beginning? Yeah. You've never not done, you
18:34
didn't know, dude, you're like, I
18:36
did not know this. You are the exclamation point at
18:39
the end of the DV Comedy Festival every year. I'm
18:41
so glad that you are honored by that distinction.
18:44
Well, no, I've been honored that I've
18:46
been, you know, invited back multiple times
18:48
as it is, but I didn't realize
18:50
it was ten times. How
18:52
many different venues do you think? I
18:55
think three. So there were
18:58
a lot of them at the improv? No,
19:00
no, Rex Theater? A lot at the Rex.
19:02
And then one or two at the improv.
19:04
Yes. And then this is our second
19:06
one here. Correct. The best spot of all.
19:09
Yeah, Bonerock, it's great. Yeah, we love it here. Whoo!
19:14
So here's to my next year, year six. You
19:18
guys are like the old married couple where one
19:20
knows how many years you've been together and the
19:22
other one's like, I don't know. It's
19:25
been a while. I didn't even know if Randy
19:27
would know for sure because we did get busted
19:29
up there by a couple of years off because
19:32
of COVID. Yeah. And, but
19:34
I know I heard you say last
19:36
night at the biome that
19:38
you're ten years strong. So I
19:41
truly am honored to have been part of
19:43
all ten years. Yeah, we always
19:46
thought it was like a great way to end it because we'd have
19:48
comics come into town for the main stage event and we're like, well,
19:50
what's a good way to finish it so
19:52
that they can come into town and have
19:54
two gigs basically. And
19:56
your podcast was a natural fit and you're friends with everybody that
19:58
we end up booking half the time. It's
20:00
a pretty easy sell. Except for this time, where I
20:02
have to get out of town. We gotta get out
20:04
of town. Like, you know, it's always a timing issue.
20:07
And some great comics I
20:10
was able to ask could not be here.
20:12
So I'm glad... I'm glad... Let
20:15
me finish, Chris! I'm glad
20:17
that even better comedians took
20:20
my call. A
20:23
quick yes from all of these gentlemen,
20:25
which I absolutely appreciate. But before we
20:27
get into the game portion of the
20:29
show today, I'd like each
20:31
of you, and we'll go in
20:33
the same order we just went in. We'll start
20:36
with Chris. I'd like you to recommend one
20:38
movie that you
20:40
think people, you know, would get
20:42
something out of, whether it's laughter,
20:45
or change their
20:47
life in some way, or, you
20:49
know, just a movie
20:51
that... I mean,
20:53
you think will be a worthwhile experience for a
20:55
person. I know I hate that question, because
20:58
then it's on you if they don't like the movie. For
21:01
sure. But I still want it
21:03
to be something that you personally feel very good
21:05
about. I
21:09
don't... I don't... Like
21:12
movies? I would
21:14
say the other guys, I think it's
21:16
very underrated. On cable,
21:18
quite a bit. It's on cable. You
21:21
gotta see it unedited, though. It's like
21:23
seeing blazing saddles on cable. Right,
21:26
no farts. This isn't funny. They're
21:28
just sitting around the campfire. What's
21:32
that word that keep bleeping out? Yeah,
21:36
it's true. I'm very much against
21:39
the edited movies, but I'm also
21:42
in a hotel room a lot of the times. And
21:44
instead of looking at my phone, I want... In a
21:46
hotel room a lot of the times. And
21:49
instead of looking at my phone, I want to
21:51
watch whatever TV they've got there. Some
21:53
movies you can watch... Like Forrest Gump, you
21:55
can watch edited all day long. Oh, right,
21:57
yeah. There's like one curse word, I think.
22:00
Yeah, doesn't he say? Get
22:02
your fucking hands off her. No,
22:04
really? Or what? Forrest Gump
22:06
drops an F-phone? I don't remember. If
22:10
he did, he should do it somewhere better than that. Like,
22:12
I need to fucking pee. Yeah, yeah,
22:14
yeah. I better not
22:16
get the fucking Aids. Life's
22:18
a fucking box. He's
22:21
just real mad at his
22:24
mom. Yeah, lots
22:26
of fucking bucks of chocolates. Fucking...
22:28
Who's that random dude? No,
22:30
it really does make it... It just
22:32
takes all the niceness and fun out of that expression
22:35
and say you never know what you're gonna fucking
22:37
get. It's
22:40
no longer the joy of mystery. Life's
22:45
big questions. Okay, what was
22:47
your answer? The
22:50
other guys. Do you have
22:52
anything else you want to say about that
22:54
movie? I agree with you that people would
22:56
probably enjoy it. I like
22:58
the way it's well structured and the fact
23:01
that halfway through the
23:03
movie's new gags start. Like,
23:06
the TLC gags don't start until an hour
23:08
and a half into the movie. And
23:12
then it just keeps getting better and better. I just
23:14
thought, as far as comedies
23:16
go, I thought it was a really good
23:18
one. And I don't think a
23:21
lot of people know about it. Yeah,
23:23
as a comedian, I think that's a strong
23:25
recommendation for people
23:28
to hear. The other guys. I
23:31
like the nice guys too. Oh shit.
23:35
Put that on your list. Put
23:38
that on one of your many lists you're not
23:40
making. Greg, what do you think?
23:44
What would you like to recommend? Have you seen anything
23:46
great lately? Lately?
23:50
I mean, it was kind of underrated and people
23:52
didn't get huge reviews. I
23:54
really like the Amy Winehouse movie. I thought
23:57
it was, I mean, I loved her. Loved her.
24:00
The actress or the Amy? The
24:02
actress was amazing. Didn't care
24:04
for Amy so much, but that actress
24:06
really captured whatever was going
24:09
on with Amy. She really took the music to another
24:11
level. You really enjoyed that movie? I did,
24:13
and it was so funny because I never check Rotten
24:15
Tomatoes or anything before I see a movie. I
24:18
don't read reviews, I don't watch trailers, I get
24:20
to movie theaters 21 minutes
24:22
after the movie is scheduled to start. Because
24:24
I want a fresh start. I love
24:26
when I can see a movie of
24:28
Virgin, not knowing even the genre. Anything. Yeah.
24:32
It can be really fun. Yeah. Especially
24:34
in genre bending movies. Well the one... Because you get a
24:36
movie that starts one way and goes another fucking way and
24:38
you didn't know which way it was going to go in
24:40
the first place. That happened to me last year. I
24:42
was in Hollywood and I had like two hours to
24:44
kill and I walked into a multiplex. I remember that
24:47
Korean movie last year that I think it might have
24:49
won the Oscar. It was all over
24:51
the place. Parasite? Nope,
24:53
last year. Oh,
24:55
Past Lives? Nope, not Past
24:57
Lives. Oh
25:00
my god, everyone's just going to keep guessing. Everything
25:04
everywhere all at once. Everything everywhere all at once.
25:06
Oh, that movie! I walked into
25:08
that not knowing what genre it was and
25:10
it took me 20 minutes to go, did
25:12
I take acid on the way over here? What's happening?
25:15
And then I loved it. Yeah,
25:17
everybody loved that movie. I'm shocked that I
25:20
didn't think of that when you said Korean
25:24
movie that won an Oscar. Last
25:28
year. Last year was... Yeah,
25:30
that was a pretty good clue. It
25:32
wasn't too long ago. Yeah. Okay,
25:34
so... Wait, so what's
25:36
your answer? I would say Amy, but I'm going to
25:38
give an honorable mention to... I just
25:40
showed my kids who are now 20 and 23 repo
25:43
man and they lost a shit.
25:46
Really? Yeah, I forgot how profound
25:48
that movie was. It was like,
25:51
you know, it was back when indie movies were
25:53
really just down and
25:55
dirty, funny ideas. Like,
25:58
just let's think... They just have to be like...
26:00
a good sense of humor? Like they just enjoyed
26:02
the humor of it? I think they liked that
26:04
they're so used to seeing things
26:07
overly produced now and smooth. They
26:09
just loved it like you could tell there were
26:11
certain scenes where they edited it and then they were like,
26:14
oh fuck, we left out why
26:17
they got from A to B. Let's go
26:19
shoot it in a room with one camera.
26:22
And it was just like, you know,
26:24
guerrilla filmmaking. They kind of felt it. But
26:27
a funny script like they say funny
26:29
things. Yeah. In that movie. Yeah. Like
26:33
let's get sushi and do some crimes. Some
26:37
fun like. All right. So Amy
26:40
Winehouse movie. Is that what it's called? That's
26:42
not what it's called. Amy Winehouse. The movie.
26:45
Which seems disrespectful. I think it's called
26:47
Back to Black. Oh, okay. Yeah, I
26:49
think you're right. Maybe even Colin, the
26:52
Amy Winehouse story. And
26:54
then the ACDC movie is Back in Black.
26:57
Yeah, you got to keep those straight for
26:59
sure. Okay, so
27:01
let's go to Randy with
27:04
the weather. I was just
27:06
telling you about like watching Sorcerer for the first
27:08
time. Yeah. But like I feel like I need
27:10
to watch that another time to really appreciate it.
27:12
So I don't like it's one of those not
27:14
sure I could recommend it. Cinema
27:16
Paradisio is the one I probably
27:18
knows it, but I never saw
27:20
it until recently. And I
27:23
just could not believe how much I love
27:25
that movie because it's literally a movie about
27:27
loving movies. But like the overall reaching theme
27:29
is a little bit different. It's like centered
27:31
in this world of appreciating movies and like
27:34
Sicily in the 50s and how
27:36
big in this little town, how
27:38
big it was to have the movie each week and
27:40
how the Catholic Church would cut them all up and
27:42
everything. But it was like this one dude in town
27:45
tells this guy who had gone to be a great
27:47
director one day like get the hell out of here.
27:49
Because if you don't, you're never going
27:51
to achieve all these dreams you have. And I
27:53
think that that's like a resonant theme for so
27:55
many people that are like, you
27:58
know, I could take a chance or I could
28:00
just hang out where I am here, where it's
28:02
safe. So it's got cool themes. And if you
28:04
love movies, it
28:06
just makes you feel like, oh, dude,
28:08
this is everything I like about movies
28:10
in a movie that's about loving
28:13
movies. So it's kind of
28:15
inception-like in that way. Yeah, it's very much
28:17
the movie that comes up when people are
28:19
talking about movies that are
28:21
love letters to the movies. That's
28:24
like the, if not
28:27
the number one, it's way up there.
28:29
And I've got to admit,
28:31
I've never watched it end to end.
28:35
Every time there's a montage
28:37
in any awards show or anywhere that's
28:40
a love letter to the movies has
28:42
moments from it. And
28:45
last action hero, I feel
28:47
like, kind of steals some
28:50
aspects of that movie, because it's also about
28:52
a little kid in a
28:54
movie theater and being in the projection
28:56
room, the magic of it. But
28:59
then they have Arnold Schwarzenegger. OK,
29:02
so those are three
29:04
terrific recommendations. I mean, three very
29:06
different kinds of movies. You
29:10
can laugh, or you could cry, or
29:12
you could watch some foreign nonsense. No,
29:14
I'm kidding. So
29:17
check those movies out if you get
29:19
a chance. And of course, support movies
29:21
in the cinema wherever
29:23
possible. We're
29:25
going to take our first commercial break.
29:27
During the break, we'll pick out who
29:29
my guests are playing on behalf of
29:32
today. And we'll do that after
29:35
this. We'll be right back. Good job,
29:37
Mark. Good job. Good job. Good
29:40
job. Good job. Good
29:42
job. Good job. This episode is
29:44
brought to you in part by Shopify.
29:47
Real quick, what's the easiest choice you
29:49
can make? Short movie over a long
29:51
movie, butter popcorn over plane? What
29:54
about selling with Shopify? Shopify
29:57
is the global commerce platform that helps you
29:59
sell. sell at every stage of your
30:01
business, from the launch your online
30:03
shop stage to the first real
30:05
life store stage, all the way
30:07
to the did we just hit
30:09
a million orders stage.
30:12
Shopify's there to help you
30:14
grow. Whether you're selling scented
30:16
soap or offering outdoor outfits,
30:18
Shopify helps you sell everywhere.
30:20
From their all in one
30:22
e-commerce platform to their in
30:24
person POS system, wherever
30:27
and whatever you're selling, Shopify's
30:29
got you covered. Shopify helps
30:31
you turn browsers into buyers
30:33
with the internet's best converting
30:35
checkout, up to 36% better
30:37
compared to other
30:40
leading commerce platforms. And
30:42
sell more with less effort thanks
30:44
to Shopify Magic, your AI powered
30:46
all star. My boy's over at
30:48
a special thing records have been
30:50
using Shopify for years and they
30:52
give it thumbs up across the
30:54
board. Shopify powers 10% of
30:57
all e-commerce in the US and
30:59
Shopify's the global force behind
31:01
Allbirds, Rothy's and
31:03
Brooklyn and millions of other entrepreneurs
31:05
of every size across 175 countries.
31:10
Plus Shopify's extensive help resources
31:12
are there to support your
31:14
success every step of the
31:16
way because businesses that grow,
31:18
grow with Shopify. Sign up
31:20
for a $1
31:23
per month trial
31:25
period at shopify.com/DLM,
31:27
all lowercase. That's
31:30
shopify.com slash DLM
31:32
to grow your business
31:35
no matter what stage
31:37
you're in. shopify.com/DLM, back
31:40
to the show. That's
31:45
not just the sound of that first sip of
31:47
morning Joe, it's the sound of someone shopping for
31:49
a car on Carvana from the comfort of home.
31:51
That's a good blend. It's time to
31:54
take it easy, like answering some easy questions
31:56
to get pre-qualified for a car in minutes.
31:58
Talk about starting the morning right. Just like
32:00
customizing your terms so your car fits your budget.
32:05
Visit carvana.com or download the app to
32:07
experience car shopping the way it should
32:10
be. Convenient, comfortable. Ahh!
32:13
We're back! Oh
32:21
boy, oh boy, I've got what I
32:24
think are some fun games to play
32:26
with you gentlemen today. I
32:30
hope you really want to win for the
32:32
person you're playing on behalf of because they
32:34
are counting on you. This
32:36
is possibly one of the best
32:39
prize bags ever.
32:45
You can feel it right? You can feel the tension
32:47
in the room. And
32:49
the first game we're going to play today
32:51
to determine a winner is something I like
32:53
to call Live, Die, Repeat. Oh,
33:02
I almost forgot the important part of
33:04
telling the listeners what's going
33:06
on with what we did during the
33:09
break. Chris is playing on behalf of
33:11
a gentleman with a name tag that
33:13
says Ron of the Dead because Chris
33:15
is a fan of Shaun of the
33:17
Dead. And Greg
33:20
is playing for Chuckie Horror
33:22
Picture Show to spite Jim
33:25
Manji. It
33:27
was a spite choice on the part
33:30
of Greg Fitzsimmons. He's going
33:32
to build a spite store to continue
33:34
his fight against Jim Manji. And
33:37
then Randy is playing for
33:39
Jen Her. I
33:43
know there's had Jennifer's on name tags, but
33:45
I think that Jen Her might be a
33:48
first. Is that like your
33:50
dad's favorite movie? Yeah,
33:52
sure. Okay. Shut
33:54
up, Doug. Okay, so those
33:57
are the people that you're playing for and the
33:59
first game. as I said, it's called
34:01
Live, Die, Repeat. And this
34:03
is an absolutely ridiculous game. Like
34:06
all the contestants were sweating last year
34:08
during this game, because it was
34:11
hot as fuck. I'll
34:13
say the title of a movie, and
34:17
you have to tell me the
34:19
title of that movie. The first
34:21
person who can repeat back the
34:23
full correct title of the film
34:26
wins the game. I'll say it
34:28
slowly. I'll say the
34:30
title very slowly. And every time somebody has
34:32
a guess that's wrong, I'll go back to
34:34
the beginning of the title. So,
34:36
you know, some people play it
34:38
one way, they sit back and dive
34:41
in when they really got it. And other
34:43
people like to guess based
34:45
on what they've heard so far. Does
34:48
that make sense, Greg? Nope. Nope. So
34:50
you're gonna say it, and then we're gonna take turns?
34:52
You're gonna call it? No, you're just yelling out.
34:54
So three people will yell it out at the same
34:57
time. I don't think so, because
34:59
one of you should figure it out before
35:01
the others. Okay. But it
35:03
could be very close. Yeah.
35:06
But, you know, it's not like I'm
35:08
gonna say Jaws. Yeah. Then
35:11
it really would be like, holy shit, they all
35:13
said it at the same time. How do we
35:16
pick? Okay. Which one is the winner? All
35:18
right, so here we go. You
35:21
know, I got a few of these, so you'll
35:23
get the hang of it if you don't, and the very first
35:25
one. A
35:28
man, a woman, and
35:30
a... A
35:39
man, a woman, and a dog. A
35:42
man, a woman, and
35:44
a bank. Jaws.
35:51
A man. A
35:56
fun with dick and chain. That's
35:59
what it's about. a woman
36:03
and a bank. You're saying
36:05
the title right now? A
36:09
man. Yeah,
36:12
first person to repeat it back correctly. A man, a
36:14
woman, and a bank? That is correct, Randy! I
36:18
got to say, I got to say, Doug,
36:21
one of your poorest performances
36:23
in explaining a game of all
36:26
time. That was like... People
36:28
never get it. People never understand it.
36:31
It has to happen, because
36:33
now you understand it. Do you
36:35
understand it now, Craig? There's a
36:37
movie called A Man, A Woman, and a Bank? Yeah.
36:42
And you were shitting on my Cinema Paradisio
36:44
reference. Well, these aren't going to be movies
36:46
everybody's heard of. I already set
36:48
that up by saying it's not going to be
36:50
Jaws. All right. So,
36:53
Randy got that one, but let's see if
36:55
he can do it again. As
36:59
we go into round two. But
37:02
that was, you know, somebody was on the right
37:04
track by at least trying to guess where
37:06
the title was headed. Just
37:09
wasn't dog. Just
37:11
didn't work out. I feel like you're talking about
37:14
me. Die! Exclamation point.
37:21
Die! Exclamation
37:24
point. My...
37:29
Sweet. Die, die, my sweet. Die.
37:31
Die. My. Darling. Die,
37:37
die, my darling. Randy wins again. This
37:46
is so stupid. You guys
37:48
should hear or see on other
37:51
episodes. Just imagine other comedians, you know,
37:53
and how they wouldn't shut the fuck
37:55
up guessing everything that comes into their
37:57
head. And you guys are all just like,
37:59
you know what? What, Randy, when
38:01
you think you've got it, go
38:04
ahead. We're polite. It's
38:09
usually mayhem, but
38:11
fun mayhem, but this is
38:14
an interesting game because, let's
38:16
see if Randy
38:18
can three-peat and
38:21
do it one more time. Okay,
38:24
here we go. Clute.
38:28
Clute. Correct. That is it.
38:30
Randy did it again. Classic
38:40
curve ball I throw in there. Yeah,
38:43
yeah. Yeah. Change
38:45
up. That was a great job, Randy. You
38:48
really killed it. You're a good listener.
38:53
What do you think that a man,
38:56
a woman, and a bank and I
38:58
die, my darling and Clute have in
39:00
common? Donald Sutherland. That is correct.
39:02
We just lost a great actor, Donald
39:04
Sutherland, so I thought I would give
39:08
him a back door tribute. That
39:10
sounds terrible. So I
39:12
decided to fuck him in the ass.
39:17
Although if you remember, in Animal House we
39:19
saw his ass naked. Yes, we did. Yeah.
39:23
I like everything I'm reading and seeing now
39:25
and interviews and stuff because you always get
39:27
a deluge of information about somebody when they
39:30
die. I
39:32
wish I'd run into him anywhere because if
39:34
you ask him anything about his career, he
39:36
would stop and tell you the story, which
39:38
is very generous with that. Everybody's
39:40
stories were all the same. I ran into
39:43
him somewhere and I just sort of said, I liked your movie
39:45
and then he told me a whole story about it. It
39:48
was super nice and super into acting,
39:50
like was constantly acting since the
39:52
70s. Like never, like up
39:54
until, you know, I guess he was sick for a
39:56
little while, but up until the very end he was
39:59
still in stuff. He was in all the Hunger
40:02
Games movies, just clearly passionate
40:04
about acting and being
40:06
an actor in films and TV. And
40:09
so anyway. And he turned down points on Animal
40:12
House. He took a day rate.
40:14
Well there you go. Instead of taking 2% of
40:16
Animal House, he didn't think it was going to
40:18
be anything. So he was like, just
40:20
pay me for the day. This is going to flop. Yeah.
40:24
Well he had already played the clumsy waiter
40:26
in their in Kentucky Fright movie. Atlantis
40:29
is a movie before that. So
40:32
that's another thing. He just was clearly a guy,
40:34
if you go through his resume, there's short films
40:36
here and there. Like he said yes to people,
40:39
to be a nice person, I think sometimes. And
40:41
that was the case with Animal House,
40:43
turning down the points. I'm
40:46
glad tonight I actually went
40:48
with points on this
40:50
episode rather than the flatbed out. I think that's
40:52
going to work right. It took my age in
40:54
a while to beat Doug down, but we got
40:56
it. I mean I don't know
40:58
if you've had the thrill of getting a residual
41:01
check for a penny, but it is pretty, makes
41:03
you feel pretty good that they spent more money
41:05
on the stamp to get it to
41:08
you by a large margin. And
41:11
the amazing thing is, I will not stop
41:13
on the street to pick up a penny.
41:16
I will scan and deposit a one cent
41:18
check. I ripped that fucker up immediately. Do
41:20
you? There used to be a bar
41:22
in the valley in LA called Residuals. The
41:24
premise was if you brought a residual
41:27
check that was less than $5, some
41:29
small amount, if
41:31
you brought it in, they'd pin it up
41:33
to the wall and give you a free drink.
41:36
And then it's in a city of a million
41:38
actors who are all out of work, so they
41:40
had to stop that. They had
41:42
to stop that policy, but I still
41:44
drive by and it's still called Residuals
41:47
and it makes me laugh. I
41:50
wasn't getting, when I went there,
41:52
I wasn't getting those checks regularly, but now I
41:54
get checks for a penny a lot
41:56
of the time. Sometimes for one show where I did
41:59
a bunch of episodes, they'll put them
42:01
in different envelopes even. So it's like 13 envelopes
42:03
that are each a penny. You're just
42:05
going through each one going, come on, come on, give me, how
42:07
about 23 cents? How
42:10
about 50 cents, let's go. It's
42:13
your own little lottery game you get to play. There's
42:15
an idea that they take anything under $5 and
42:18
put it into a fund for sick
42:20
actors. Oh really? Yeah,
42:22
it's great, like some kind of pension fund for
42:24
people. Well I just keep the penny check and
42:26
do that. I wish I
42:28
could just check something off so they don't send me
42:30
the little ones. Just
42:33
send me the ones that are for $4. Because
42:37
that's going to come in handy. All
42:40
right, so Randy, again,
42:42
congratulations for winning that first
42:44
game. Of course, as
42:46
you and listeners of the show
42:48
might be already aware, all
42:50
he gets for winning that first game is he gets to
42:52
go first in the next game. And
42:55
this next game is something I call
42:57
Go Fish. Whoo!
43:04
Chris Porter, before you get too
43:06
excited, it's Fish, F-I-S-H, it's not
43:09
Fish the band, it's Fish,
43:12
as in the word fish. And
43:15
you'll understand why this game was
43:17
invented once I explain it
43:19
to you. I'm going to say a
43:21
fun fact or
43:24
statement that applies to a
43:26
motion picture. We'll start
43:28
with Randy, he gets multiple choice, three
43:30
answers to choose from. I'll
43:33
say this factoid and then
43:35
you tell me, and
43:37
then you tell me if it
43:39
involves, if it is the movie
43:41
Big Fish, Rumble
43:44
Fish, or
43:46
The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh.
43:48
Hey! Whoo! Yep,
43:53
I've been sucking up to the locals for 42
43:55
years. Yeah,
43:57
I noticed how you gave Randy the first three correct
43:59
answers. answers. Clued?
44:04
What? But
44:09
if Randy misses, because it's multiple
44:12
choice three, if he misses, then Chris
44:14
gets a crack at it. And if
44:16
Chris misses, you'll know what the answer
44:18
is, because it'll be the third of
44:21
the three choices. So you'll get what
44:23
we call the gimme point. Which
44:25
may in fact be the only points I
44:28
get, because as you know... That's how you
44:30
do it, Greg. You come in here and
44:32
you just do the bare minimum and sometimes
44:34
win. Yeah. Yeah. It's
44:36
beautiful to behold. And
44:40
whenever somebody gets one right, we'll start on
44:43
the next one with the next person in
44:45
order. Are you ready, Randy, to
44:48
tell me... Are you familiar
44:50
with these films, Big Fish, Rumble Fish, and Fish
44:52
to the State of Pittsburgh? Yeah. I mean, I
44:54
don't remember too much in Rumble Fish, but I
44:57
know... It's like the
44:59
second Outsiders. I see
45:01
a hint in the same writer. It is, yes. The same
45:03
writer, and it is the film that was shot almost
45:06
concurrently with... While he was
45:08
making the Outsiders, Francois Koppel thought, Oh, I want
45:10
to make something that's grittier in
45:13
black and white, more down and
45:16
dirty, less big setups and spectacular
45:18
looking shots. And so they made
45:20
Rumble Fish. But
45:23
one company that he went to to make Rumble Fish
45:25
was like, Will you
45:27
make Rumble Fish? And they were like, No, we
45:29
already saw the script for Outsiders. The movie was
45:31
making... They didn't even made it yet. They
45:33
were like, We saw the script. We don't want
45:35
Rumble Fish. But then he managed
45:38
to find somewhere else to do it,
45:40
obviously, because it exists, and
45:42
it's in this game. You
45:46
know what else also exists? The fish that
45:48
saved Pittsburgh, which is one of
45:50
my favorite titles of all time,
45:54
because it's got Pittsburgh in there and
45:56
the fish for some reason. And
46:00
of course, Big Fish is
46:02
the Tim
46:04
Burton motion picture. So
46:06
the first one that
46:09
you get to do, Randy, is
46:13
tell me which one of those three is the answer
46:15
when I say not based
46:18
on a book. Which
46:22
one is not based on a book?
46:24
Yeah. Is this just something that you
46:26
happen to know being such an expert
46:28
on all things Pittsburgh? No. Because
46:31
I know we just said
46:33
Essie Hinton did Rumblefish. And
46:37
I remember that reading
46:39
that Big Fish was a book at
46:41
some point, but I'm not 100%
46:43
sure on that. So I'm just doing
46:45
the SAT process of elimination. Maybe Big
46:47
Fish was maybe they made a novelization
46:49
after the film. It's quite possible. In
46:51
which case, you know. It is quite
46:53
possible. And that's what happened with the
46:55
fish to say Pittsburgh, you are correct.
46:57
Wow. There
47:03
is a novelization of the fish
47:05
to say Pittsburgh. And
47:07
it deviates from the plot of the film.
47:11
Is what I've been told. How could they do that?
47:13
I don't know what they're thinking with
47:16
the novelization. But those novelizations, like the
47:18
person who writes them sometimes takes pride
47:20
in like, well, I got to change
47:22
a few things. I got to
47:24
put my stamp on it. Plus,
47:27
who was going to really check it? They
47:29
just hand it in. They're happy with that.
47:31
Now it's called the water sign that saves
47:33
Christmas. I
47:36
decided to change it from Pittsburgh to
47:38
Christmas. And I don't like
47:40
people that are Pisces. They
47:47
have a basketball team in the film.
47:49
And they're the Pittsburgh Pisces. Did
47:52
you know that? I did. I
47:55
guess at the beginning of the film, they're the Pythons. And
47:58
then along the way. to get
48:01
good luck because they consult a
48:03
fortune teller who
48:05
tells them that, yeah, she tells them that
48:07
their whole team is a Pisces, I guess.
48:11
And so that's why it's called the fish
48:13
that say Pittsburgh. I think that
48:15
astrology makes the team better. I think there
48:17
was like an ABA team that was the
48:19
Pittsburgh. Pythons. Pythons, yeah.
48:21
But you think they were still a team
48:23
when they made this movie and it probably
48:26
changed the name? They
48:28
did what? Yeah. It might
48:30
have dissolved a lot of people's bank account after that
48:32
one got released. I don't think it did very well.
48:34
This is a movie that now, just the amount of
48:36
looking at it today, just reading about it today that
48:38
I've done, it makes me want to watch it again.
48:40
But I just know. I mean, is
48:42
anybody here a fan of the fish that say
48:44
Pittsburgh? Applaud if you love it. Now,
48:50
applaud if you like ice cream. OK,
48:56
a little more, a little more. Who
48:59
likes Bridges? What's
49:04
the most popular thing around here, Randy, that
49:06
would get everyone to applaud? I mean, Bridges
49:08
was pretty good. Right? Like this town has,
49:10
as Greg and I were talking about earlier,
49:12
there's an ordinary civic pride here, right? So
49:14
like people in Pittsburgh love Pittsburgh. That tells
49:17
you how bad the movie The Fish That
49:19
Save Pittsburgh is. Nobody in Pittsburgh
49:21
gives a shit about that movie. But they
49:23
think Striking Distance is Citizen Kane.
49:31
So because Striking Distance,
49:34
Bruce Willis and Sarah Jessica Parker are
49:36
like boat cops. They're boat
49:39
cops. And they boat around
49:41
on the, I hear there's three
49:43
rivers that go through the area. That's
49:46
what they patrol, is all the Pittsburgh
49:48
rivers. And they break up all sorts
49:50
of international drug transactions that are going
49:52
on and stuff. There's a lot of
49:54
illegal activity, apparently, going on in the
49:57
three rivers. Yeah, I think they probably
49:59
wanted to call it. Pittsburgh Vice, or
50:01
you know, or something, you know, but
50:03
you just once you throw Pittsburgh in
50:05
there, you know, you can't like, be
50:07
like, Oh, what a cool title that
50:09
is. But striking
50:12
distance. What striking
50:14
distance? What is in striking distance of
50:16
what? In the course of that film?
50:19
They're just about I believe to
50:21
strike the
50:24
killer, the Polish Hell Strangler. Oh,
50:26
okay. Because within their,
50:29
he's there with, you know, Oh,
50:31
so why did they just call it within our grass? I
50:36
think it's the crime has to be in striking
50:38
distance to a boat for them to
50:40
catch them. Oh, right.
50:43
Yeah, yeah, you know, you know,
50:46
they're not coming up here to
50:48
Allentown up the hill, which
50:50
they need to. It's
50:53
the Steph Tolev workout
50:56
and really, really sweat
50:59
during it. Okay, so Randy
51:02
figured that first one out. So he's off to
51:04
the races. He's on the board. He's got one
51:06
point. Chris
51:09
Porter. Do
51:11
you remember the premise Big Fish,
51:13
Rumblefish, or Pittsburgh? Yep. Yep.
51:20
You see, speaking
51:23
of Donald Sutherland's butt,
51:25
you see Danny DeVito's
51:27
Naked Butt. Which
51:31
film is that? Big
51:35
Fish. That is correct. Yeah. You'll
51:39
never unsee it once you've seen it. It's
51:42
like, damn, that's a big baby. Is
51:47
this honey I blew up
51:49
the baby? Yeah, it's
51:52
one of them one of the memorable things
51:54
about the Big Fish from 2003. People,
52:01
when you bring that movie up, some people
52:03
just absolutely love it. And
52:05
I've never got the appeal. Have
52:09
you seen it, Craig? Yeah, I remember it being
52:11
a little trippy. It's a little bit of a
52:13
trippy film, isn't it? A little bit. Yeah. But
52:15
it's also like probably the
52:18
dirtiest looking movie that takes place at a
52:20
circus. Like it's got like the circus is
52:23
just sort of like, oh, that circus has
52:25
a layer of dust on it. And
52:28
the cinematography, some people think
52:30
it's beautiful. But I didn't get
52:32
it. Who was the director again? Tim Burton. Oh,
52:34
right, right. A little bit of a departure for
52:37
him, because a lot of it takes place in
52:39
daylight outdoors. Yeah. Right.
52:42
And there's no puppets. Yeah.
52:44
There's nothing to animate necessarily.
52:47
Yeah. I love a lot of
52:49
his stuff, but that one. And also,
52:52
it's a father-son thing. Like
52:55
people that have a relationship with
52:57
their father, they can relate to from
52:59
the movie. Because doesn't he have a hard time
53:02
getting his father's respect in the movie? Yes. Yeah,
53:06
so I think a lot of people relate heavily
53:08
to that aspect of it. Yeah. I
53:11
didn't know any of these movies existed
53:13
until this game started. Wait,
53:16
so Big Fish was really a wild guess?
53:18
Yes. I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because
53:20
that one was supposed to be easy. Everybody
53:22
knows Danny DeVito's in Big Fish. I heard
53:24
in the audience when they were like, he's
53:26
got to know this one. I
53:29
feel like I've walked into a 400-level class in
53:35
a subject I have zero
53:37
knowledge about. And everyone's just like,
53:39
oh, the cinematography. I'm like, yeah,
53:42
right? Yeah,
53:44
it was good. But
53:47
we let you guess, and you could have just
53:49
played it off like you knew. But you're an
53:51
honest person. I am. I
53:53
like people to know my mindset. Well,
53:58
it's especially fascinating to know. as
54:00
we move forward with this game that you
54:02
know nothing about any
54:05
of these films. Except for we've already,
54:07
you know, Randy and I have been yapping
54:10
about all
54:12
of this, so... Oh, no, I feel like Greg
54:14
and I are friends and we
54:16
took, we went on a double date and our
54:19
dates are getting a long better than
54:22
we are with our dates. And Greg
54:25
and I are just looking at each other like,
54:27
should we go do another podcast or something? No,
54:29
you should shut up and eat your salad. How
54:35
many times can he excuse himself and go to
54:37
the bathroom? Porter's
54:39
doing coke again. Okay,
54:43
Greg, you're gonna go first on this one. Oh,
54:45
I was hoping to get that third spot. I
54:47
think you'll figure it out. Okay. Maybe,
54:49
we'll see. Just make your
54:51
best guess. Okay. Which of
54:54
the films, Big Fish, Pittsburgh, Rumblefish
54:56
has this quote in it. Don't
54:59
rub me the wrong way. I'll
55:02
have you rubbed out. Jaws.
55:09
Um, don't rub me the wrong
55:11
way. I'll have you rubbed out. I believe
55:13
that that is... I
55:17
like the way you're setting it up. Like, you're gonna
55:19
tell us the correct answer. A
55:21
fish called Wanda. Don't
55:26
get me started about the fish choices I
55:28
had to make in
55:31
preparing this game. I'm
55:34
gonna say Rumblefish on that one. You're
55:36
going Rumblefish? Yep. Well,
55:38
that is not the answer. That
55:41
is not correct. I got
55:43
so excited. I thought we were gonna
55:45
have a three-way tie, but instead, it
55:47
goes back to Randy. You got two
55:50
choices. Don't rub
55:52
me the wrong way. I'll have you rubbed
55:54
out. Is that from
55:57
which of the two movies that Greg didn't say?
56:00
It sounds corny enough to be
56:02
Fish That Save Pittsburgh. Do
56:04
you think that line is corny? Well, like, I
56:06
could hear it being delivered. I don't know. Do
56:08
you love that line? I'm like, yeah. I'm
56:11
sorry. No, it's brilliant. But, uh.
56:13
Doug's like, I wrote that line. No,
56:17
I definitely think it's dumb. But I
56:19
don't think any of these movies are
56:21
above that line, necessarily. But
56:23
what's your answer again? Fish That Save
56:26
Pittsburgh. That is correct. It is The
56:28
Fish That Save Pittsburgh. Randy's five for
56:30
five. Randy is, well, you know, that's
56:32
not how I add it up. I
56:34
look at him as being two for
56:37
two because he just won the second
56:39
game. And that means, you
56:41
know what that means, Randy
56:44
has to go first. Could be,
56:47
could not possibly work against him. Randy
56:49
has to go first in our next
56:51
and final game that we will play
56:54
after this break. We'll be right back. Whoa!
56:59
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
57:02
Whoa! Explore the endless bounds of
57:04
space with all new LEGO building
57:06
sets. From engineering wonders like LEGO
57:08
Technic NASA Apollo Lunar Roving Vehicle,
57:10
to astronaut dog walkers, there is
57:12
a perfect LEGO set for everyone
57:14
on Earth. First launched in 1978,
57:16
space sets have
57:19
been igniting people's curiosity through the
57:21
ultimate creative medium of LEGO bricks.
57:23
Their newest collection is sure to
57:25
propel the wonder for exploration and
57:28
adventure across the galaxies. Be inspired
57:30
by LEGO sets that are out
57:32
of this world. Visit amazon.com/LEGO space
57:34
to see the full collection. We're
57:37
back! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
57:41
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
57:44
Whoa! So much fun during the
57:46
commercial break, as always. And we
57:48
have one game left to play
57:50
today and Randy's gonna
57:52
go first in this game. And
57:55
this is a game where I like to play
57:57
along, so it's gonna go Randy, me, Greg, Chris,
57:59
go around like. that and it's
58:01
something that I call last
58:04
person standing extreme. What's
58:10
so extreme about it you might
58:12
ask? Well our participants
58:15
today have a
58:18
new lifeline that we've just instituted.
58:20
If they need help at some point
58:23
they can call a celebrity. We just
58:25
all have to agree that the person
58:27
they're calling is a celebrity for
58:30
it to happen and you
58:33
know it's pretty loose
58:35
definition of celebrity so we'll see what
58:37
happens. But you also get a normal
58:39
lifeline and that's the person in the
58:41
audience that you chose
58:44
to play on behalf of today and
58:46
the game is simple
58:48
kind of. We're going to get
58:50
three names of actors and actresses
58:52
from those three
58:54
people that you chose to play for.
58:57
Then we're all going to take turns
58:59
naming movies that any of those three
59:01
performers were in. If you can't
59:03
think of one you can go to
59:05
your two lifelines the person
59:07
in the audience or the person on the phone
59:09
to try to stay in the
59:12
game. If you can't think of one you're
59:14
out. Last of
59:16
you three standing will
59:19
win and the person you're playing on behalf
59:21
of will get this prize bag. Did
59:23
you hear what's in the prize bag? Oh
59:25
my god that cocktail napkin. Isn't it wild?
59:28
Yeah. This is
59:30
the weirdest thing to give away and to
59:33
have. If I were them
59:35
I'd probably pass it along it hasn't worked out
59:37
for me. I
59:39
think it's cursed. But yeah
59:42
I also have a yarmulke
59:46
with Rosanne and Tom on it and
59:48
I will not part with that. No.
59:50
No that's that's mine until the end.
59:52
Might even take it with me. Put
59:58
it on me when you cremate me. Okay,
1:00:01
so Like
1:00:03
I said the Actor and
1:00:06
actresses names are going to be chosen by the people
1:00:08
you're playing for Who is
1:00:10
Randy playing for again? He was playing for
1:00:12
Jen her so Jen just
1:00:14
in this first slot I'm going to
1:00:16
give you the option of naming an
1:00:18
actor or an actress Could
1:00:21
be could identify it as
1:00:23
anything Who
1:00:26
would you like to pick? Steve
1:00:28
Buscemi the great Steve Buscemi
1:00:33
Punched in the face on the street recently
1:00:35
and we all Felt terrible
1:00:37
and wished him a quick recovery and it
1:00:39
sounds like he's doing good and it'll
1:00:42
really perk him up to here that we're Using
1:00:45
his name in this game today And
1:00:49
then we'll move on to Greg is playing
1:00:51
for Ron
1:00:53
of the Dead
1:00:58
Sorry, you're playing hard you're playing for Chuck
1:01:00
E. Whore Chuckie. We
1:01:02
need an actress name any actress He
1:01:07
loves Jamie Lee Curtis So
1:01:11
he's going Jamie Lee Curtis That
1:01:14
was Greg's
1:01:17
right. Yeah, Jamie Lee. Okay You
1:01:20
know what Chris is playing for
1:01:22
Ron of the Dead. What do you got
1:01:24
Ron another actress? Julianne
1:01:28
Moore you really
1:01:30
don't want to help these guys do you I'm
1:01:33
gonna say can I look her up? I Mean
1:01:36
she might be single you can go ahead and try
1:01:41
When you get back to LA now, she's married to
1:01:43
a director who's directed a couple of her films. I
1:01:45
said too much All right
1:01:49
I don't think I could think of the names of the
1:01:51
films that her husband directed but she's been in a lot
1:01:53
of stuff So that's the game
1:01:56
is those three actors Buscemi
1:01:58
Jamie Lee Curtis Amy Lee Curtis
1:02:01
and Julianne
1:02:03
Moore, any
1:02:06
of their movies, as long as you can name
1:02:08
one, you're still in. Like I
1:02:10
said, I like to play along, so Randy, start
1:02:12
us off, and then I'll go second. Big
1:02:16
Lebowski. The Big
1:02:18
Lebowski featuring Steve Bechary. I
1:02:23
didn't know if you wanted me to finish
1:02:25
it. And Julianne
1:02:27
Moore. Yeah. That's the
1:02:29
actual double that I don't
1:02:31
know how often that's going to happen, but you got
1:02:36
that. Okay, so
1:02:38
I'm going to go... I
1:02:40
tried, Greg, to go more obscure. Good.
1:02:43
To kind of help everybody out, not make
1:02:45
it hard for everybody. So I'm going to
1:02:47
say Halloween. Halloween
1:02:51
II. That's
1:02:57
what I was driving at. Thank
1:03:00
you. Chris. True lies.
1:03:03
That's right. Randy.
1:03:09
I'm trying to think tactic. Right?
1:03:12
Like should stay rare and go with the broad
1:03:14
brush ones. I am holding on for dear life.
1:03:18
Bart and Fink. Yeah, don't say anything
1:03:20
that Chris might say. I'm
1:03:25
going to go with just
1:03:28
another obscure one that rarely
1:03:30
gets mentioned. In fact,
1:03:32
when it comes up, sometimes people are confused. It's
1:03:35
Korean, I think. Everything everywhere,
1:03:37
I don't know what. Halloween
1:03:42
III. Dude,
1:03:45
slow down. Slow
1:03:48
your roll, buddy. Save them? Yeah,
1:03:50
you're rubbing me the wrong way. I don't want to have to rub
1:03:52
you out. Miss
1:03:56
Curtis is not in the third film
1:03:58
in the series. In
1:04:00
fact, she, oh, shush you. Is
1:04:05
that true though? Is that a real trivia fact?
1:04:09
What does her voice show up on the TV? Oh,
1:04:13
look, it's even Chucky coming in with
1:04:15
that. My partner! With that fucking business.
1:04:17
Making sure I don't lose. But
1:04:20
here's the bad news, Chucky. Is
1:04:23
that he's not saying
1:04:26
the title correctly. And you know, we
1:04:28
do need the correct title. So that's
1:04:30
another reason why you might want to
1:04:32
move on from Halloween. All right. I'm
1:04:34
going to go with Raising Arizona. Yeah.
1:04:38
Which one's in that? I
1:04:40
mean Fargo. Chris,
1:04:50
how are you doing? You hanging in? Con Air.
1:04:53
Yeah, Steve Buscemi. Yeah, yeah. Nice. Thank
1:04:55
you. Oh, I wonder what Randy's going
1:04:57
to say next. Trading places. Oh.
1:05:02
I'm sorry. Yay. Halloween
1:05:09
three season of the witch. Ghost
1:05:14
world. Buscemi,
1:05:16
you're killing it with the Buscemi. Holy
1:05:19
shit. You're a Buscemi machine
1:05:22
over there. Oh, so he's
1:05:24
going. Chris is going to his
1:05:26
lifeline, Ron. Ron,
1:05:28
you could go strategic here if you want. But
1:05:30
what's your answer? Body
1:05:33
of evidence. Body of evidence.
1:05:35
Was that Madonna? Oh,
1:05:38
shit. And which Julianne
1:05:40
Moore's in it. Holy crap. Oh, I thought
1:05:42
of a good obscure Julianne Moore. Randy,
1:05:46
is he here? Wait, whose turn is it? I
1:05:50
just went. OK, Randy. Boogie Nights. Yes.
1:05:58
I got so many things in my head. now
1:06:00
but are you what are you
1:06:02
looking at your oh okay Chris is looking up
1:06:05
people to call for a second
1:06:07
I was just like oh he's just fucking opening
1:06:09
up IMDB have
1:06:17
we said this in regards to Jamie
1:06:19
Lee fish cold Wanda no ha
1:06:22
ha ha I was sitting on that yeah oh
1:06:24
you were yep look at
1:06:26
you over there sitting on names wait
1:06:30
now you're pulling out your phone okay so you
1:06:32
want to call somebody or do you
1:06:38
want to use your lifeline in the room oh I
1:06:41
can do a lifeline in the room or or
1:06:43
the phone yeah you got Chucky or that
1:06:45
and you know in the next round you
1:06:47
could call somebody no Chucky's fucking because Chucky's
1:06:50
Chucky's gonna hook you up for sure talk to
1:06:52
me Chucky we
1:06:54
have not said prom night yet prom
1:06:56
night night go somebody
1:06:59
wants a napkin I'm
1:07:02
gonna I'm gonna make
1:07:04
a call okay
1:07:07
who do you want to call I'm
1:07:09
gonna call Jonathan Kite oh I love
1:07:12
it comedian he was
1:07:14
on that really awful
1:07:16
sitcom donut
1:07:18
shop two broke girls two
1:07:20
broke girls he was also on a I
1:07:22
wrote on a sketch show on Fox with
1:07:25
Jamie Fox that he was a star of
1:07:27
he was very talented a lot of characters
1:07:30
I just like I've always liked the name
1:07:32
Jonathan Kite yeah it's got a good sound
1:07:34
to it yeah and you
1:07:37
could tell him to go fly himself this
1:07:42
is exciting it's gonna go to his voice he's
1:07:45
so he's so good that he's working right now
1:07:48
you just say call me right back and hang out we'll see
1:07:50
what happens I get a call you a
1:07:52
friend who's smart but doesn't work a lot
1:07:55
your call has been forwarded to voicemail the
1:07:57
person you're trying to reach is not available
1:08:00
At the tone, please record your message. When
1:08:02
you have finished recording, you may hang up.
1:08:05
Hey, dude, it's Porter, and I'm on
1:08:07
Doug Loves Movies, and I needed your
1:08:10
help, and you... Well,
1:08:12
here I am in voicemail,
1:08:14
so... Thanks. Thanks. Thanks for
1:08:16
nothing, Jonathan. It'd
1:08:19
be so funny if, like, I called
1:08:21
Jonathan on mine, and he answered me.
1:08:24
Just like Fitzy! I'm
1:08:27
not doing a goddamn thing! You
1:08:30
know, just try to call me Porter,
1:08:32
that fucking asshole. Do
1:08:35
you have his number, Greg? Yeah. Let's call
1:08:37
him. No,
1:08:40
it's, you know... But then ask on
1:08:42
Chris's behalf, because he's his lifeline. I
1:08:46
know, I don't have his number, I thought I'd
1:08:48
ask. Who's cool now?
1:08:50
Oh, well... Let's get out
1:08:52
of here. Is
1:08:55
Steve Simian in Reservoir Dogs? Sure
1:08:58
is. Oh, he is. Whoo!
1:09:03
Mr. Pink... You're
1:09:08
thinking, because of strategy, you're not thinking,
1:09:10
because you can't think of one. Trees
1:09:12
Lounge. Yes. He directed
1:09:14
that, Steve Bushami. But,
1:09:19
you know, I feel like I can take this
1:09:21
one down, because not
1:09:23
to be too insulting, but you guys are
1:09:26
just a bunch of airheads. Oh...
1:09:31
I think you're blowing a lot of smoke,
1:09:34
Doug. What? Is
1:09:36
it what we call... Is it because you're having a smoke? Sure. It
1:09:39
was about a cigar shop. A bunch of you guys have hung out
1:09:41
at a cigar shop. I like it. Wasn't he in that? Sure. Harvey
1:09:44
Keitel. Yeah, with Harvey Keitel. Yeah, thank
1:09:46
you. It's getting more real every moment.
1:09:49
No, I like it when, you know,
1:09:56
I don't use any source to verify. Okay. So
1:09:58
it's just like... based on, you know, it's like
1:10:00
if we were playing a game
1:10:02
at somebody's house and we didn't have internet. And
1:10:05
to the best of my knowledge, you sound
1:10:08
correct. Yes. And I like that.
1:10:10
Because if you're wrong, and I find out about it
1:10:12
later, it's funny that you got it past me. Chris,
1:10:14
did you think of another one? It's
1:10:18
Steve Buscemi and Reservoir Dogs. I was so
1:10:20
excited. I felt you were gonna
1:10:27
say a different one. I'm
1:10:30
gonna say
1:10:33
the holiday
1:10:36
because why
1:10:39
not? That
1:10:41
movie was Jack Black, Jude Law, Kate
1:10:43
Winslet, and Cameron D'Arnes. Pretty sure Julianne
1:10:45
Morrison in it too. She
1:10:48
walks in the back. She's one of the inn
1:10:51
keepers. Julianne Morrison
1:10:54
is some interesting ones. Maybe we'll
1:10:58
get to them. But thank you for trying,
1:11:00
Chris Porter. Do I leave? No, hang out.
1:11:02
Hang out. You
1:11:06
still get to do your, you know, plug your
1:11:08
stuff at the end. And anytime
1:11:10
you have anything to say, please, please
1:11:12
join in. But if you would rather just watch
1:11:14
stuff on your phone, that's cool. I
1:11:19
had texts I was seeing if it was Jonathan
1:11:21
Kite saying, Oh, did he text
1:11:23
you back? New phone who dis? But
1:11:28
it was not. It was my family group
1:11:30
chat. They were
1:11:32
laughing at a meme. Do
1:11:37
you ever have to step in and go, I'm a
1:11:39
professional and that's not funny. The
1:11:43
best was my uncle made a cunt joke and
1:11:45
my aunt left it. She left, you know, like
1:11:47
if you're in a group chat, it says like
1:11:49
this person is left. And then
1:11:53
someone let her back in just so she
1:11:55
could ask that same uncle a question. And
1:11:58
I got on another group chat with all.
1:12:00
my cousins and was like, how funny would
1:12:02
it be if he dropped another kunchuk right
1:12:04
now? Randy?
1:12:10
Magnolia. Mm-hmm. Yeah,
1:12:12
I was surprised that
1:12:15
when Boogie Nights came up that didn't
1:12:18
follow right behind. All right,
1:12:20
so this is an interesting one for
1:12:22
Julianne Moore because she plays a
1:12:24
circus clown. Could
1:12:27
be a different kind of clown. I'm not committing her to
1:12:29
the circus, but she's a clown in
1:12:31
full clown makeup who fucks
1:12:33
Tim Meadows in, uh...
1:12:38
Oh shit. Uh,
1:12:43
the single man. Is
1:12:46
that right? Ladies man? Ladies
1:12:48
man. Shit, ladies man. You're out.
1:12:51
I'm out. Who you calling, Greg?
1:12:53
I'm gonna call a gentleman named
1:12:55
Judd Apatow. Oh shit. You
1:13:00
can't possibly pick up. He's
1:13:02
producing multiple films right
1:13:04
now. How
1:13:09
come Chris's was so crisp
1:13:11
and yours sounds dooky? I
1:13:20
think you should text
1:13:22
me. Is that his
1:13:24
outgoing message? Judd,
1:13:27
is that your outgoing message or are you talking to
1:13:29
me? Oh
1:13:32
that's it. Yeah, really,
1:13:34
he either says that angrily or it's
1:13:36
his outgoing message. Do
1:13:40
you want to text him? If
1:13:44
I text him, I'd probably be like, you should write me
1:13:46
a letter. Um,
1:13:50
I'm gonna... Let me guess one more. Julianne
1:13:52
Moore, wasn't she in like a merchant ivory
1:13:55
period piece or something? She seems like she
1:13:57
should be, right? She should have been. Elizabeth.
1:14:01
No. OK. That
1:14:03
was Kate Blanchett. So don't even try to say
1:14:05
Elizabeth, too. But
1:14:08
thank you for playing. Thanks for having me. Randy, do
1:14:10
you have one more just to, you know, pour
1:14:13
some salt in it? I
1:14:16
mean, yeah,
1:14:18
Buscemi should be easy. I
1:14:20
feel like Julianne Moore and Buscemi, you could just go, like,
1:14:23
all PT Anderson for Julianne Moore,
1:14:25
and you could just go all
1:14:27
Collins for Buscemi. We went through
1:14:29
a lot of the problems. You don't have to be a dick
1:14:31
about it. You can just win the game. You don't have to
1:14:33
tell us how fucking easy it is. Here's
1:14:36
how you could have won, Chris. Ever see an
1:14:38
Adam Sandler movie? Buscemi's in most of them. Yeah,
1:14:40
all of them. Yeah. I was going to say
1:14:42
Billy Madison. But not everyone, though. So it's a
1:14:44
minefield. It is tricky. But what
1:14:46
do you got, Randy? Billy Madison. What's your
1:14:49
final one? Billy Madison. Very good. That's probably
1:14:51
the first Buscemi Sandler
1:14:53
collab. And Buscemi's
1:14:56
just been in
1:14:58
every other one, at least, ever since. Right?
1:15:01
He's been in a bunch of them. I think all
1:15:03
of them. Seems like it. At least
1:15:05
like a cameo or something like that. He's always
1:15:07
got really great character actors that just want to
1:15:09
come in and just fucking be ridiculous. Like,
1:15:12
Al Pacino in a Sandler movie is
1:15:14
just insane. How he
1:15:16
just shows up and is just, like, so into it.
1:15:19
So over the top. Hwah!
1:15:23
All right. Congratulations, Randy. Bobby
1:15:25
is our winner today.
1:15:27
He did it. Against
1:15:30
all odds. I
1:15:33
don't know how he made it happen. But
1:15:38
congratulations to go to
1:15:40
Jen Her for winning.
1:15:43
We did it, Jen. Yay! We did it.
1:15:49
Don't get your nose too close to that napkin.
1:15:51
You might start to feel cold
1:15:53
a little later. Is
1:15:57
your relationship solid? Why do I love this
1:15:59
napkin? I just love the napkin. I just love
1:16:01
the napkin. It smells so good. All
1:16:04
right, Randy, let's do your, what
1:16:06
do you want to promote? What are your
1:16:08
plugs? Not the DV morning show. I mean,
1:16:11
a lot of people here know what that's
1:16:13
all about. We've been having another great year.
1:16:15
The DV Comedy Festival wraps up with this
1:16:17
show, man. So thanks for being a part
1:16:19
of it every fucking year, by the way.
1:16:21
Hey, wait here. Hey.
1:16:23
I know that. 10 years. 10
1:16:26
years. How profoundly appreciative you are to
1:16:28
be that the ending point
1:16:30
on it, every single one of these. I was
1:16:32
talking to Sarah Tiana last night, just reminding her
1:16:35
who was on the time she did it over
1:16:37
at the Rex. And she was just like, this
1:16:39
is all news to me that I did this
1:16:41
and these people were on it. It
1:16:44
was Burt and Brad Williams and
1:16:46
Sarah Tiana. Yeah, and Aaron Clyber
1:16:48
and... That was a way better
1:16:50
show than this one. And Brad...
1:16:54
Brad Williams popped in and... Chad
1:16:57
is for a little bit. That's
1:16:59
what he does. Brad just pops in. He
1:17:01
doesn't really... He's not gonna
1:17:03
break the door down. He's
1:17:07
a dwarf for those years. Yeah,
1:17:11
he's the first one to know that. So... I
1:17:17
still can't do it much
1:17:19
in his presence, the jokes,
1:17:21
you know, because I still... Even though he
1:17:23
says he's fine with it, it's still wild
1:17:25
how badly you want to make
1:17:27
jokes. Oh, me, Kim, Andrew, Santino, and Jimmy Schubert
1:17:29
went and had lunch and Brad went and took
1:17:32
a phone call. And when he came back, we
1:17:34
had a high chair at his... Oh,
1:17:36
no. And
1:17:41
he just walked in and he's like, that's a good one. That's
1:17:43
a good one. Every time I introduce him at the comedy
1:17:45
store, I put the mic stand up to my sixth beat.
1:17:48
Oh, God damn it. You guys are terrible.
1:17:50
I'm pulling it down. Yeah. Every
1:17:53
chair I sit in is a high chair. So what would
1:17:55
you like to... Want
1:18:00
to promote some stuff, Chris Porter? I
1:18:02
have a special on YouTube I would like
1:18:05
you to watch called There's
1:18:07
No Money in Babies. And
1:18:09
you just go, there's no YouTube search, there's
1:18:16
no money in babies. And
1:18:18
I'm the first thing that pops up. Right
1:18:21
after Brad Williams? The second thing is like a sex
1:18:23
trafficking thing. It'd
1:18:26
be cool if you watch that. And
1:18:28
other than that,
1:18:31
I'm coming to a funny bone
1:18:33
near you slash improv.
1:18:37
So if you have a comedy
1:18:39
club in a mall, I'll
1:18:41
be there. You
1:18:44
like chicken fingers
1:18:47
and apple spritzes? Go see Chris
1:18:49
Porter. Oh, yeah. Do
1:18:51
you need to return an item but also
1:18:53
need something to do? Fucking
1:18:55
Chris Porter. It's
1:18:58
one stop shopping. I
1:19:00
love it. Greg Fitzsimmons. Well,
1:19:04
it's really almost pulled off a miracle here
1:19:06
today. Getting skunked?
1:19:08
Yeah. There's
1:19:11
been miracles in the past, Doug. It's true.
1:19:14
Fitzdog Radio is the podcast. And then
1:19:16
I'm doing live dates later
1:19:19
this summer in Denver, Alaska,
1:19:23
and Austin, and somewhere else.
1:19:25
Go to fitsdog.com for tickets.
1:19:27
Thank you, guys. Yeah!
1:19:32
Fitzdog! Douglas
1:19:36
Movies is back at Helium in
1:19:38
Portland, Oregon on Saturday, July 20.
1:19:43
And our annual San Diego Comic
1:19:45
Con, Douglas Movies, is going to
1:19:48
be at the American Comedy Company
1:19:50
on Wednesday night, July 24. Some
1:19:54
people know that that's where the eagle is on
1:19:56
stage at all times. Very well-lit
1:19:58
eagle. I
1:22:02
swear doesn't he like have a line of dialogue
1:22:04
with the love interest in the film or is
1:22:07
she not on the aircraft carrier? She's just not
1:22:09
there. She's the trainer. Yeah so she's gone like
1:22:11
we don't really care what happens to her in
1:22:13
fact we're gonna keep that going. Actually she turns
1:22:16
into an old lesbian. In
1:22:18
the sequel? Well Kelly McGillis. Oh
1:22:22
the actress? The actress turned into like
1:22:25
a fair
1:22:27
founder. Like
1:22:31
she did it like a magic
1:22:33
trick she like had a formal
1:22:36
life just a formal presentation. The
1:22:38
80s were crazy bro. Let's
1:22:40
be clear that was a love story between
1:22:42
Val Kilmer and Tom Cress. Right that's I
1:22:45
guess what is being said here. That is
1:22:47
the gayest movie of all. I mean going
1:22:49
back and looking at you like yeah this
1:22:51
is pretty homoerotic. This volleyball
1:22:53
scene is not necessary in
1:22:56
the least. Yeah no during that
1:22:58
scene Tom Cruise is checking his watch like is
1:23:00
it how that I had my shirt off long
1:23:02
enough this could be more just gratuitous. One
1:23:05
more hour of gay stuff and then I gotta go
1:23:08
be straight. I
1:23:10
gotta get this oil off of me to
1:23:12
have a hetero sex scene with somebody who's
1:23:14
gonna become an old lesbian. Dude if I
1:23:16
was ever playing beach volleyball with two dudes
1:23:18
and one of them flexed down on me
1:23:20
I'd be like game's over I'm leaving. Although
1:23:22
we were just having fun here. See
1:23:25
you later showboat. All
1:23:30
right well I've got my final line
1:23:32
for the episode today. Thank you to
1:23:34
the Bottle Rocket Social Hall. A
1:23:36
great place to
1:23:39
entertain your face. I just wrote
1:23:41
that slogan. A great place
1:23:43
to entertain your face with
1:23:46
drinks and hot dogs and laughter
1:23:49
and let's do it for all of
1:23:51
my guests tonight. Randy Bauman. Chris
1:23:54
Porter. Greg
1:23:56
Fitzsimmons. Fitzdog.
Podchaser is the ultimate destination for podcast data, search, and discovery. Learn More