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terms apply. This

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is so fucking good. This

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line, the profanity naturally bleeped for

1:30

network television, was the inciting incident

1:32

in the Seinfeld season 5 episode,

1:34

The Non-Fat Yogurt, in

1:36

which a delicious fat free treat leads

1:38

to Jerry Seinfeld's explicit outburst in front

1:40

of an easily influenced child. Like

1:44

many Seinfeld episodes, it spoke to

1:46

a then-zeitgeisty mania, the low-fat

1:48

diet, which doctors and nutritionists of

1:50

the era pushed as the template for

1:52

healthy eating. The now

1:55

discredited dogma led to products like Nabisco's

1:57

Snack Wells, a devil's food cookie with

1:59

zero. Bring

44:00

it on. COVID too. Electric boogaloo. What's

44:02

it called? Like COVID too? More? What's

44:05

it called? Fast and furious? Oh, yeah.

44:07

COVIDer and cr- COVIDer after. Oh, that's

44:09

getting dumber, right? It was too fast,

44:12

too furious. Yeah. Too

44:14

co, too vid. Too co, too vid. Too

44:16

co, too vid. That

44:19

was fun. We'll probably get a January 6, too.

44:22

That's something to look forward to. That is. That is. That is

44:24

all coming back. This is so fun. We're just going to do

44:26

it again. Yeah, we just relived the last four years again. Let

44:28

me tell you, I'm not missing this one. OK,

44:35

I want to ask before we get into Tender Greens. How many stairs

44:37

is it? I mean, not as many

44:39

as you have. I

44:44

want to talk generally about, because I think Tender Greens

44:46

fits into this bucket of like,

44:48

it's like a, I think it's primarily

44:50

like a work lunch place. Oh, man.

44:52

Right? That's like, there's an office order

44:54

or something, or you're just trying

44:56

to grab something that's not going to weigh you down

44:58

and you have an hour. No

45:01

one is necessarily excited to go to

45:03

Tender Greens. It exists there to be

45:05

like, this is your healthy salad slash

45:07

bowl slash sandwich sort of option. When

45:09

you are trying to. It got writers

45:11

roomed. It got writer room destroyed. That's

45:14

a bit Hollywood specific. Yeah, so it

45:16

would be. But also, I mean, this

45:18

is even 10 years ago. Sure. It

45:20

was like, Tender Greens got, I

45:23

was picking up Simpsons launch orders when it, this

45:26

is pre waiting for Duffman. Right.

45:29

It was funny to me. But I didn't realize you

45:31

were coming to the store and then you're like, wait, did that happen?

45:33

I was on that show. I was on it. But

45:36

I used to get Tender Greens all the time for

45:38

lunch here. And I did think it was great for

45:41

a while. It was a pain in the ass to pick up for

45:43

lunch, but everything was a pain in the ass to pick up for

45:45

lunch. But I used

45:48

to fax in lunch orders. I don't know even they

45:50

do that. It's so wild. This

45:52

is also like 2007, eight, nine. You

45:55

know what I mean? It's not that long ago. But

45:59

then you're like, wait. No, it's 17 years ago. I

46:01

know, it is. Almost 20. Yeah, it's a fucking long

46:03

time ago. It's a long time ago. It's a long

46:05

time ago. I liked Tender Greens. The one in Culver

46:07

City is the one that I would go to and

46:10

get quite a bit. Which I think is the original.

46:12

Yeah. And I liked it then, and

46:14

I thought it was a good for

46:16

to be healthy and have a good

46:18

salad for lunch. Has

46:20

it fallen off? Yes. We've talked about it this how

46:23

many times have we? Is it our third or third?

46:25

This is only the second time we've done Tender Greens.

46:27

This is only our second review. Yeah, and it's been,

46:29

again, a long ass time. It was 2017 when we

46:31

reviewed it with Ryan Stanger. So

46:33

of the action boys, who's Marche I'm wearing today from

46:35

Kinship Kids. So many boys. I know. They're

46:38

everywhere. A lot of us boys

46:40

in comedy. No boy dogs. I

46:43

know, a lot of boys in comedy, right? That's true. I

46:45

got a boy and a girl cat, which is a nice

46:47

balance. So

46:51

I want to ask before we get into Tender

46:53

Greens specifically, generally speaking, if you're dealing with the

46:55

healthy lunch, the healthy dinner sort of option, I'm

46:57

going to get a meal out, but I'm not

47:00

going to indulge. I don't want to feel like

47:02

shit. What are your

47:04

go tos for that? What

47:06

kind of place do you go to? Or what

47:08

kind of dish are you looking for? Are you looking for

47:10

a big salad or a bowl or whatever? Yeah,

47:12

I feel like this is interesting about Tender

47:15

Greens, too, because I think I'm more specific.

47:17

I never want anything super heavy when I

47:19

do eat out. So yeah, I'm always wanting

47:21

a salad. And I also have this thing,

47:23

I guess it's in the same weird

47:26

area as the sweet thing, where I don't

47:29

like bread very much. Which

47:32

is funny because everybody likes bread. But

47:34

I don't know why. I think it's because it's kind of in

47:36

the same, it's like a texture-y,

47:38

but not really texture. It's more like

47:40

I think it makes things dry and

47:42

more flavorless. And so I like just

47:44

meat, just the basics of a salad or

47:49

the basics of a sandwich. I never care about all

47:51

the stuff. So yeah, I always want to do something like that.

47:53

And so you're saying, where was I going? Or yeah, like what's

47:55

your go to? Sometimes I'll

47:57

talk and I'm like, what am I doing? Why

48:01

am I saying these words? Like I really am such

48:03

a brain foggy weirdo. Well that is

48:05

funny that also in our question is like, do you

48:07

like sandwiches? Yeah exactly. When you think back on the

48:10

question. They're not very good questions. They're

48:12

bad. We asked me

48:14

where I'd go. Where I would go, I

48:16

would go to Sweetgreen probably. I mean Tender

48:18

Greens I've very rarely gone to but it's

48:20

exactly when I want exactly arugula with like

48:22

lettuce and olive oil and a steak. And

48:24

I'm like that makes sense. I don't know

48:26

why that's a restaurant but I'm having it.

48:29

But like that's sweet

48:31

green, you know, just some junk. Just

48:35

some deli stuff or like chips. Like honestly

48:37

like a lot of times lately especially I've

48:39

been eating like chips and candy for lunch.

48:42

Wow. I'll go work out. Just

48:45

chips and candy? I'll go work out. Okay. I'll

48:47

have a protein shake. Okay. And then like at four I'm

48:49

like did I have lunch? And then I'm like no I

48:51

want chips now. So

48:53

it's always like a snack. I'm a big snacker

48:55

too. It's more like the idea of you know,

48:57

you've got girl dinner stuff like that is how

49:00

I already ate so yeah it's like that. So

49:02

anywhere I can get like little bits and pieces

49:04

and snacks I'm into. Wow. I

49:06

can't think of any pieces. I like it. But that's my

49:08

jam. I mean I'm more of a boy meal. Like

49:10

that's like I like eat like a full

49:13

meal. I don't like snacks. Yeah like a

49:15

hearty. Yeah yeah. Yeah. Boy meal? I

49:18

guess that's not the antonym for girl dinner. Boy

49:21

meal sounds strange. I like a boy meal.

49:24

You know what I could go for right now? A boy

49:26

meal. Free Dan Schneider. No

49:32

I'm more meals than snacks. I

49:35

don't know. Free Dan Schneider. Free. He's

49:38

not arrested. Well good man

49:40

I'm happy. Hey man. Where

49:44

do you land? Where do you land with meals

49:47

or snacks? I feel like I'm team meal. I'm

49:49

team meal. You know this. I'm more of a

49:51

meal guy. I now for a more

49:53

of a meal guy. You get it. I

49:55

mean I don't dislike snacks but I am.

49:59

For a big guy. I really, I don't snack too often. No,

50:01

I don't feel like you do. And I also feel like you're

50:03

a guy who are like, we've been

50:05

on the road together, I've observed your habits. I

50:07

feel like you're a guy who will have like

50:09

two big meals in a day, right? And it's

50:11

like, and sometimes it'll be like, like

50:13

akin to what you were saying, but it'll be like

50:16

four o'clock and you haven't eaten yet. Yeah, and then

50:18

I'll do a big, I'll do, that is more the

50:20

way I'll do it. Today, it was just one of

50:22

them. I hadn't eaten anything yet today. But

50:26

for me, to answer another part of

50:28

this question, I used to be a tender

50:31

greens guy and a, what

50:33

was the farms one? Mendocino Farms. Mendocino

50:37

Farms, I can't, my brain is mush.

50:40

But those two were like

50:42

huge rotation, healthy, but

50:45

still I'm like satisfied with

50:47

them. But I feel like both of

50:49

them have fallen off. And in fact,

50:51

I'm gonna reveal something today. There

50:54

was a time where I was talking about how I

50:56

got a paper towel in

50:58

my salad. That's right. And we never revealed

51:00

the place. Maybe we did

51:03

sense, but it was tender greens. That's right. I

51:05

ordered a salad and I was like, this chicken is

51:07

tough. And I put it in my mouth, it was

51:10

a paper towel. And

51:12

that is, and even still after

51:14

the fact, I mean, it is truly

51:17

disgusting. It's disgusting, but it's

51:19

kind of an understandable mistake. If it was like,

51:21

hey, I was using this to dry off produce

51:23

or something like that, and it just like, I

51:26

don't know, I mean, to me it's like- Paper

51:28

towel in a salad is pretty gross. To me

51:30

that's giving like, I washed my hands, but maybe

51:32

you didn't clean them all the way. Oops, the

51:34

chicken and then the chicken. Yeah, I guess if

51:37

it came from like a bathroom paper towel. I

51:39

think I know exactly what it was, is that

51:41

there's that board there where they chop up the

51:43

meat. And I think they use a paper towel

51:45

to wipe it down. And I think

51:47

that that somehow got in my salad, I guess.

51:50

Which is also gnarly, that is disgusting. But

51:52

it was tender greens. Now here's the thing,

51:55

that was what, eight years ago even? It was during

51:57

the podcast, but it was like seven or eight years

51:59

ago. I

1:28:00

know you're obviously, but I'm just saying this is, the

1:28:03

bowl maybe is the way to go now, but then like

1:28:05

you're saying it seems. I don't know, I think that the salad's

1:28:07

better balanced. But I think that this is the issue is

1:28:09

that they did this weird thing where it's like, you pick your

1:28:11

protein and you do this. So now when you get the

1:28:13

barbecue chicken salad, it's so much more

1:28:15

like, hey, we ticked the protein from here and we

1:28:17

chop it up and we put it in your salad.

1:28:19

Where when it started, it was like, this is a

1:28:21

salad we're creating. You know what I mean? Where now

1:28:23

it's like, how would you like your protein? Do you

1:28:25

want it in a plate or do you want it

1:28:27

in a bowl or whatever and I think that it

1:28:30

hasn't helped, I guess. I

1:28:32

just, I feel like when I get that salad, I'm like,

1:28:34

okay, so here's some chopped up chicken. Here's a ton of

1:28:36

lettuce and it doesn't feel like

1:28:38

it was like a mixed chopped salad in any way.

1:28:42

What do we think of the fries that came with the burger? Not

1:28:44

great. They're kind of wedges. We have wedgie

1:28:47

potato fries. They're not, they weren't great.

1:28:51

I did not hate them and I was surprised

1:28:53

because I normally like really thin fries, but I

1:28:55

thought they were good. I was like, well, not

1:28:57

bad and I like the flavor. That

1:28:59

felt the most homemade to me,

1:29:01

which is funny because it's like, it wasn't that amazing

1:29:03

or anything. It was good to me. When I got

1:29:05

them on Friday, I was surprised that they had like

1:29:07

a little bit more crispness than I, like they looked

1:29:09

like they were gonna be just chewy and maybe they

1:29:12

were today, I don't know. We got an

1:29:14

extra side of those for some reason. Did we order

1:29:16

those? I don't know. They just said, just take these,

1:29:18

we don't want them. We

1:29:21

gave them, we make it pasta now, we don't know. It's

1:29:25

true, it is confused. I

1:29:27

really do think when a menu starts to do that, you're like, are you

1:29:29

guys good? Why are you doing this? Especially

1:29:31

because they get successful doing a thing and then they're

1:29:33

like, we can do it all. It's like, no, you

1:29:36

really can't. There's this slice place,

1:29:38

there's this pizza shop that's

1:29:40

not bad, that's near where we live, but

1:29:42

they started doing like a chicken sandwich, like

1:29:45

a fried chicken sandwich and I'm just like,

1:29:47

why are you doing this? Like even if

1:29:49

you execute it well, you're a pizza place.

1:29:51

You're a slice joint. Get

1:29:54

your house in order. Don't be expanding things

1:29:56

that's like, they're like outside of your domain.

1:29:58

Cause even if that's what we're doing. I want you to, exactly. Exactly,

1:30:01

it's like, go to bed. It's a good old day. It's so confusing.

1:30:03

If it's a midlife crisis, we get it. We're

1:30:05

here for you. And like, we hope you get

1:30:07

over it soon. But yeah, it's like, what are

1:30:09

you doing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,

1:30:11

I think with the, yeah, with the peat, like, it

1:30:13

just, it feels to me like, if they're gonna do

1:30:16

something like that, they might as well just do like

1:30:18

vegetarian meals that are more interesting or vegan meals that

1:30:20

are more interesting, not like, oh, chicken sandwich. It's like,

1:30:22

what, that's not doing anything. Or gluten free, whatever,

1:30:24

yeah. It's the sort of thing of, it

1:30:26

feels like everything in this, in this world

1:30:28

where you did a thing and you did

1:30:30

it well. If you kept up

1:30:32

the quality, I think people would stick around. But

1:30:34

like, you try to expand

1:30:37

or you try to make it bigger, you try to make

1:30:39

things different. Why? Keep up that great

1:30:41

quality, why? Because that's all you gotta do. The

1:30:43

places that, and that's a great point, Mitch, because

1:30:45

the places that endure are places that have like,

1:30:48

they know what they do and they stick to

1:30:51

it. And they just deliver that level of consistency

1:30:53

over a long stretch of time. This goes

1:30:55

back to the, excuse me if I interrupt. The

1:30:57

Kansas City barbecue idea where I was telling you,

1:30:59

like the shitty ones in the middle of nowhere,

1:31:01

those are the spots. I mean, you know, there's

1:31:03

great new restaurants, obviously, always, but yeah, I do

1:31:05

agree. Like, it's like, they could just

1:31:07

stick with what they know and keep it going and

1:31:09

then you'll be good. Like, there's no need to, I

1:31:11

don't know. Everybody just wants more money. It's

1:31:14

capitalism. It's

1:31:16

a bummer. It is. Anyway,

1:31:18

subscribe for more content at

1:31:20

patreon.com/doughboys. And also, if

1:31:23

you like the show, we're gonna start doing different

1:31:25

and new stuff. We're gonna mix it

1:31:27

up. We'll just try it. We're gonna try stuff. So.

1:31:31

Oh, you guys were joking. Okay, I was like, I was like what?

1:31:33

And then I'm like, oh wait, we just had a conversation. Oh,

1:31:35

really cool. Nicole. Mitch Nick's pasta

1:31:37

salad. You wanna pasta salad? We'll

1:31:40

do it. We'll try it. What if this became a

1:31:42

cooking show suddenly and you guys started making? It could

1:31:45

be. We want a cooking show. We'll make it a cooking show.

1:31:47

What do you guys want? Give us $20, we'll do anything. You

1:31:49

want Mitch to marry Jemmy? Well, we'll get him legally

1:31:51

married. They'll be husband and

1:31:53

wife. We'll dress up as

1:31:55

the cowardly lion. Whatever. And

1:31:58

we'll go all the way. We

1:32:00

will eat your ass. We will

1:32:03

eat your ass. We will eat your

1:32:05

ass. He just comes back with

1:32:07

double pink A. He's

1:32:11

like, I did it for you. I did it for us. I

1:32:14

went down on a dog. Holy

1:32:17

cow. Who

1:32:20

knew this episode on Tender Greens would end up in

1:32:22

bestiality? That's where most of the

1:32:24

episodes end, honestly. Okay, cool,

1:32:27

cool, cool. I would never do anything

1:32:29

to you, baby. No, no, Jemmy, sorry. That's

1:32:33

inappropriate. She's like, I was sleeping. She's

1:32:36

so cute. We should

1:32:38

touch on the dessert we got, which was...

1:32:42

And unless there's any other food I missed. The

1:32:45

pozole, though. I didn't have that, but I want to talk about

1:32:47

it because I was like, what? They're making everything. Yeah,

1:32:51

so they have a couple of soups and they recently added the pozole.

1:32:53

I've had the pozole in store. Again,

1:32:55

I eat at this place more than I realize.

1:32:58

I didn't know that you ate here at all. I'm interested.

1:33:00

I know. I think it's just because it's

1:33:02

sometimes like, oh, I'm getting a lunch out. There's one

1:33:04

at the shopping center. The

1:33:07

ones in near you probably, I feel like,

1:33:09

are probably better. The one on Sunset's closed.

1:33:12

Really? I think so. That's the only one I've ever been to. Wow. I

1:33:15

think so. That used to be a high volume location. The

1:33:17

one in Hollywood? Yeah. That's where the food

1:33:19

came from today. Never mind. They maybe moved,

1:33:21

but it was from Tender Greens Hollywood. Okay,

1:33:24

so the desserts were, we got

1:33:26

an apple cobbler, which I thought sucked. Good

1:33:29

cobblers I've had in my life have a crumbly

1:33:31

quality to it, which this one

1:33:33

did not have at all. I just don't know what it was.

1:33:35

It felt like we had a layer of

1:33:37

pastry and then a layer of apple.

1:33:39

It was bad. Some ice cream on

1:33:42

the side, but I was just like, how

1:33:44

could you even call this a cobbler, right? The

1:33:46

cobbler sauce. Did you have it? I did. I

1:33:48

had a little taste. I think what you're kind of

1:33:50

described, this is the theme a little bit of Tender

1:33:52

Greens, like they put things on a plate, but

1:33:55

they don't necessarily go together all that well. Or

1:33:57

like they didn't pick out the best. I

1:56:00

think is the time. Well, you're on

1:56:02

the podcast. You lost. And. Right. Right.

1:56:04

Thanks. That was the Weiger

1:56:06

Challenge. Just like a restaurant, buy your feedback. Let's open

1:56:08

the feedback. And hey, we actually have a voicemail today,

1:56:11

Emma, if we want to play this. Hey, Doughboys. This

1:56:13

is Jake from Denver. Just reaching

1:56:15

out with a question as I'm making

1:56:18

my morning smoothie. What

1:56:20

frozen fruit loses the most

1:56:23

by being in the freezer? Wow. Mm. Thanks

1:56:25

so much, guys. Really appreciate all the great

1:56:27

content. And Burger Brigade for life. Wow.

1:56:30

Fucking dork. Thanks,

1:56:34

Jake. I just improvised with Jake from State

1:56:36

Farm. Whoa, that's cool. What was he like?

1:56:38

He did monologues. He was a nice dude.

1:56:41

He was good. He was good. Weird

1:56:44

life those people must have. I feel

1:56:46

like they're spokespeople. I feel

1:56:48

like they must be good

1:56:51

with, I'm sure they get paid well. I feel like

1:56:53

it has to be a. I think you reach a

1:56:55

certain threshold. And yeah, you're finally able to, you used

1:56:57

to be able to, as you all know, used to

1:56:59

be able to make a decent living as a commercial

1:57:01

actor. And now it's at the point where you have

1:57:04

to be the face of a brand in order to

1:57:06

do that. Or a flow. Yeah, exactly. But God bless

1:57:08

him. Yeah, God bless. Very

1:57:10

talented, funny people. So

1:57:14

a fruit that loses the most by being in the

1:57:16

freezer. I mean, I think it's the most flavor or

1:57:18

nutrients. I think so. Or flavor,

1:57:20

probably. I have an answer for it,

1:57:22

but it is my favorite fruit. Oh,

1:57:24

I don't know if the people are going to get mad at me. The

1:57:27

answer is probably the ones that are melon

1:57:29

or lightly flavored

1:57:32

fruit. When you freeze them,

1:57:34

then it's like you lose that flavor. But to

1:57:36

me, I'm like, I love pineapple. And if a

1:57:38

pineapple is frozen and then blended into a drink,

1:57:40

it's not as good to me or whatever. But

1:57:45

I'm probably not leaning more towards melon or

1:57:47

something like

1:57:50

that, cantaloupe. Because if you freeze

1:57:52

those, what the

1:57:54

hell is the point? I don't know. Yeah,

1:57:56

I don't know. I mean, because I don't freeze a

1:57:58

lot of fruit. And I will.